Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy
by Lucythebeast
Summary: An AU fic, starts before Rei blows up her Eva to save Shinji. Primarily a Shinji Rei romance and lemon. Ongoing
1. For Life is Most Precious

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: This fic splits off from the series on episode 9, the one where Shinji and Asuka had to sync their movements to defeat the seventh angel. The main difference is of course, that Asuka isn't the one given the chance to sync with Shinji. wink But, the story itself starts later on with the battle against the 16th angel, the one that Rei self-destructed to kill. Oh yeah, and the story will contain naughty language, situations, violence, and lemony goodness. On with the fic, assuming anyone is still reading this.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

**Chapter 1: For Life is Most Precious**

"Ayanami!" Shinji screamed, ignoring the pain he felt from the angel's attempts at corrupting his Eva unit and his AT field. His eyes widened in fear as he saw veiny projections form on his hand and start traveling up his arm. He could almost hear a childish laughter in his mind, but beyond than that, it felt like… Rei.

"Pilot Ayanami, you must eject!" Major Katsuragi commanded, watching helplessly as the force-ejection signals from the control room were rejected over and over again.

Rei sighed softly as a sense of peace settled over her. She could feel her soul attempting to merge with the third child's, but she could not allow it no matter how tempting it was. The consequences were too dire. She knew what she had to do. "I cannot. I must stay to maintain my AT field." Rei stated simply as she reversed it to contain the angel. This caused the angel to be forcefully withdrawn from Unit 01 into her Eva, where it all bunched together in a ball, strangely making her Eva look like it was very pregnant. The first child was reaching for her self-destruct switch but she paused as Shinji pleaded with her.

"Ayanami… Rei-san. Please, I'll find a way to destroy this angel. Don't leave me." The third child couldn't believe he had the courage to speak those last three words, but ever since they had synchronized to destroy the 7 th angel, Israfel, he felt a bond with her that terrified him to be without.

Rei stared at the comm. window that displayed Shinji's face for several moments, but she had nearly lost control of her Eva so she had to act. "Gomen nasai, Shinji-kun. Sayonara. (I am very sorry, Shinji. Goodbye.)" She activated the self-destruct device and closed her eyes, awaiting the white emptiness of death to wash over her.

Shinji reacted on instinct, rushing forward and focusing his AT field around Unit 00's entry plug, effectively shielding it from the majority of the blast as the Eva exploded and destroyed the 16 th angel. Unit 01 fell as a result of the blast, but the blue-eyed boy desperately maintained his AT field around Rei's plug as it fell to the ground.

After recovering from the shock of the blast and the fall, the third child ejected his plug and burst out of it in a fountain of LCL fluid and ran to the fallen plug unit, gasping for breath and praying that his fellow pilot was unharmed. He grasped the hatch's locking wheel and turned it, ignoring the intense heat that was starting to burn his hands through his plug suit gloves. He huffed his breath in and out in effort and was finally able to pull the hatch open. A flood of burning hot LCL fluid burst out of the pressurized entry plug revealing a barely conscious Rei Ayanami. "Ayanami! You're alive!" Shinji cried, leaning into the plug to pull Rei out. He held her close and sobbed onto her shoulder as an ambulance pulled up next to them.

"Ikari? I'm... alive." Rei said with disbelief evident in her voice. She gave him the faintest of smiles before she passed out. A moment later she was pulled out of Shinji's arms and onto a gurney for transport to the NERV medical facilities. Shinji jumped into the ambulance and maintained his hold on Rei's hand despite the protests of the medics but they just sighed and ended up working around him.

"Hang in there, Ayanami. Please!" Shinji pleaded. After the medics had wiped off the LCL, they found numerous cuts and gashes along her body and determined that she likely had several fractures as well. The blue-eyed boy started freaking out because fresh blood was pouring out of a wound above her right eye, which dripped down her face and up into her hair. He pressed a bandage to the wound at one of the medic's insistence, as they figured as long as he was standing there in the way he might as well help out.

The third child cried silently as he stared at the girl, wishing her red eyes would open and that she would tell him she would be all right. Before he knew it they were at the hospital and the doctors almost literally threw him out of the trauma examination room. So he started pacing up and down the halls, wringing his hands nervously behind his back.

Misato ran down the hall towards him and grabbed him in an embrace when she saw how traumatized he was. "Shinji-kun, are you all right?"

Shinji nodded absently and jerked his head towards the exam room. "Ayanami is in there. She looked pretty banged up but I think she'll survive. I hope…"

The major frowned and pushed the boy down so he was sitting. "Calm down. You're not doing anyone any by good acting like this. Pilot Ayanami will be fine. She's been through worse. She's of little concern now since her Eva unit has been destroyed. Asuka is too psychologically unbalanced to effectively pilot her Eva, so that means you're the only one left, Shinji. When the next angel arrives to attack, you're the only hope we have. You must stay focused!"

Shinji shook his head and began to rock back and forth, bringing his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "I don't want to talk about that while Rei-san is fighting for her life in there!" He paused for a few moments and frowned nervously. "I mean… Ayanami."

Misato sighed and sat down next to Unit 01's pilot and wrapped her arm around him in a one-armed embrace, pulling him towards her as she started making soothing noises to calm him down. "Everything will be all right. Ayanami will be as good as new soon enough. Don't you worry about it, Shinji-kun. Try to remain brave for _her _, ok?"

Shinji frowned but nodded. "I… I understand, Misato-san." His eyes remained focused on the examination room where the first child was being treated, watching as various medical staff rushed in and out of the room.

Major Katsuragi smiled. "Good, Shinji-kun. That's good." She tenderly stroked his shoulder as she worried over the mental states of the pilots, wondering if they had done the right thing by sacrificing the physical and mental health of these children, and in at least one case, their lives, for the 'good of mankind'. She hated the angels and wanted revenge on them for the Second Impact, but she wondered if the price was simply too high.

They both waited in silence for nearly an hour, seeing Rei wheeled out and into the radiology area and then back a little while later. Soon, the attending physician came out. "You are the pilot's superior officer, is that correct?" The doctor asked, a middle-aged man with a faint African accent of some type.

"That's right. What is Pilot Ayanami's condition, doctor?" Misato asked, laying a gentle hand on Shinji's shoulder to help keep him calm.

"She suffered numerous bruises and gashes. She fractured her left forearm as well as several ribs. She also has a minor concussion. All in all, it could have been a lot worse. There's still a good chance that she has internal bleeding and might require surgery, so we'll be monitoring her. She'll need some time to heal, but I expect a full recovery. She might also require physical therapy, but that will be determined after her injuries begin to heal." The doctor informed them, trying to keep his explanation in terms they would understand.

"Is she awake?" Shinji inquired in a soft scared tone.

"She's semi-conscious. She's not…" He trailed off as the boy jumped up and tried to run past him into Rei's examination room. The doctor grabbed the boy by his shoulders to try to settle him down. "Now hold on a second there, I didn't say you could go in there!"

"Let me go!" The dark-haired boy screamed, shrugging off the doctor's hands. He ran into the trauma room, despite the protests of both the doctor and major. He sat down in the chair next to the exam table and held Rei's right hand. "Ayanami? I'm so sorry you got hurt." He lowered his head as tears fell from his eyes, several of which landed on the blue-haired girl's hand.

Her eyes fluttered and she opened them to look at the third child. "Ikari-kun?" She asked softly.

Shinji met her gaze in a snap, his expression a mix of sorrow and hope. "Ayanami." He greeted softly with a nod and doing his best to give her a reassuring smile.

Rei gazed up at the ceiling, no emotion crossing her face. "I survived?" She inquired as if she didn't believe it.

"You survived." Shinji agreed as he looked down at the girl with more adoration in his eyes than he realized.

"You?" She queried, turning red eyes to regard him.

Unit 01's pilot blinked in surprise. He wasn't sure if she was asking him if he had saved her life or if _he _had survived. The first choice seemed more likely so he decided to answer that one. "Yes, Ayanami. I managed to shield your entry plug somewhat with my AT field when your Eva blew up. You're going to be ok."

The blue-haired girl returned her gaze to the off white ceiling above her. _'That wasn't what I asked you.' _She thought to herself, but decided to drop the subject. "Commander Ikari?" She inquired in an emotionless near-whisper.

Shinji winced at the mention of his father, an expression that Rei saw but chose not to comment on. "I'm sure he'll be here soon, Ayanami."

Rei blinked a few times and was silent. After several minutes, she seemed to notice his hand holding hers. She looked at it silently then into his dark blue eyes. "Ikari-kun, you may call me by my personal name."

Shinji couldn't help but smile at her, even though no expression crossed her face. "Hai, Aya… eh… Rei-san. But please, call Shinji."

Rei's eyes fluttered shut as she drifted off to sleep. Shinji watched over her, even though the sounds of the heart monitor made him nervous. He blinked in weary surprise as he felt a presence enter the room and he looked up to see that Commander Ikari had just entered and was staring at Rei as if he didn't dare believe that she had survived, surprise and hope leaking through his normally stoic countenance.

"Hello… father." Shinji greeted softly in a tone of fatigued bitterness.


	2. Bravery In The Face Of Cowardice

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 2: Bravery In The Face Of Cowardice

Commander Ikari turned his gaze reluctantly away from the injured Rei to gaze at his son, whom he seemed surprised to see there. "Pilot Ikari? What are you doing here?" He inquired in a stern tone.

The third child looked down at his feet. "I came in to see Ayanami."

"For what purpose?" Gendo asked, his voice betraying no emotion. Shinji blushed but made no response. "It's time for you to leave then. Go home."

Shinji's eyes widened. That was the last thing he wanted to do. But, he would obey because he was raised and trained to. "Hai, Commander Ikari." As he stood to get up, Rei tightened her hold on his hand in her sleep. Shinji nearly lost his balance but recovered before he fell. He blushed as Gendo seemed to be scowling down at him, though his expression was still blank. "I'm sorry, commander. I believe Ayanami does not wish for me to leave."

The commander was silent for a few moments, making the third child nervous before he stated, "Pilot Ayanami is unconscious. Her wishes are none of your concern. Go home."

Shinji grit his teeth together. Every shred in his being was telling him to stay but he knew he had to leave. He tried to pull his hand free from the first child's grasp once more, but her grip became painfully tight. Shinji grimaced and continued to pull and nearly dragged Rei out of the bed before he stopped. "Ayanami does not want me to leave, sir." Shinji repeated.

"I will bring guards in here then to escort you out. Do not disobey me again, Ikari." Commander Ikari stated sharply. As he turned to walk out, a soft voice made him stop.

"Commander?" He turned to see Rei's eyes half open and she fixed her red eyes upon the man.

Commander Ikari scowled at his son but chose to ignore him for now. He stepped over to the first child and knelt down. For a moment his face seemed tenderer, though it may have been a trick of the light. "Pilot Ayanami. How are you feeling?" He inquired with his voice slightly more gentle than the third child had ever heard it.

The red-eyed girl blinked a few times before responding. "I am injured."

Shinji bit the inside of his lip to keep from snickering at the matter-of-fact response from the girl. Gendo glared at his son for a moment before looking back at Rei. "You destroyed your Eva unit. Your usefulness is rather limited now, Pilot Ayanami."

Rei was silent, but Shinji couldn't keep his mouth shut no matter how hard he bit his tongue. "Sir, please do not speak to Ayanami that way." When Gendo turned to face his son, it was with a dangerous intensity that immediately cowed the boy. "Pardon me, father."

"Shinji, I will only tell you one last time. Go home." The elder Ikari commanded.

Shinji looked at Rei whom shook her head slightly. "Please stay with me for a while, Shinji-kun." She requested in a soft tender voice.

Shinji nodded immediately, his face slightly flushed. "Hai, Rei-san."

Gendo's face darkened a bit at Rei's familiar tone as well as her undermining of his authority. "Pilot Ayanami, it is best if _he _goes home. Pilot Ikari has had a long day, and there are things we must discuss that are not for his ears." _'Stop resisting my authority!' _He added in his thoughts.

"I am injured. Shinji-kun gives me comfort. If you wish to discuss matters with me, either do so now or wait until I am feeling better." The blue-haired girl responded emotionlessly, though a tiny spark of rebelliousness shimmered in her eyes.

It was the first time since she was a child that Rei had been so defiant to his authority. Gendo was actually proud of her for standing up for herself, but the Commander Ikari in him was infuriated. His face twitched as the two sides in him made war with one another. Anger won. "Do not defy me, Rei. Allow Pilot Ikari to leave so that we can talk in private. That is an _order _." Though he didn't raise his voice, the statement was made with such firmness that Shinji nearly wet himself.

Rei frowned slightly. She was not yet ready to give in on this matter and she couldn't understand why Commander Ikari was being such a… prick. "Shinji-kun?" The red-eyed girl ignored the vein in Gendo's forehead that became prominent because of the first child's familiar term with his son. "Do you wish to leave or to stay with me?"

Shinji looked between the blue-haired girl and his father. He desperately wanted to stay but disobeying his father was making him a nervous wreck. "I… am not sure, Rei-san. I wish to stay with you, but I should honor my father's wishes."

The corners of her mouth twitched downwards. _'Damn it, Shinji. Stand up for yourself for once in your life!' _The first child thought, and then aloud she said "The choice is yours, Shinji-san."

Shinji's left eye twitched at the now more formal tone in Rei's voice. _'Is she angry with me?' _"I…" Shinji looked at his father as he paled slightly. He felt Rei squeezing his hand insistently. _'Does she not want to be alone with Father? Something must be up. I'm sorry, father.' _His decision made, he spoke it aloud. "I will stay, if that is your wish, Rei-san." Then he began his familiar mental mantra. _'I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away…'_

Though Gendo was scowling at his son because of his defiance, inwardly he was proud of the boy. _'That's my boy! I would have made the same choice in your place. Maybe there is hope for you after all.' _But he couldn't let on about his pride in the pilot's bravery, so he responded coldly. "So be it then, _Ikari _." The blue-eyed boy flinched at the commander's tone, but Rei's hold on his hand reassured him that he had made the right choice. "I will speak to you when you are feeling better, Pilot Ayanami." He stood up and paused for a moment to speak to the girl with a bit of tenderness. "Feel better soon, Rei-chan." He turned his gaze to his son and nodded slightly. "You will take care of Ayanami, na? (na is a very masculine way of saying 'right?')"

Shinji nodded. "Of course, father."

Gendo let the barest of a one-sided smile cross his lips as he reached out and placed his hand on the third child's shoulder for a moment before he turned and left without another word.

Shinji scratched the back of his head. "What was that about? I can't ever figure him out."

"I think he's proud of you, Shinji-kun. And I am as well." Rei smiled briefly before she resumed her normal emotionless expression. It was so brief that Shinji wasn't sure if he saw it or not.

The dark-haired boy blushed at the praise. "It was nothing, Rei-san. Arigato."

The red-eyed girl shifted on the bed and grimaced for a moment before the medication dulled the pain again. "Shinji-kun?"

"Hai, Aya… eh… Rei-chan?" The third child sneezed. "Uh, Rei-san?"

Rei was silent for a moment which spurred Shinji into stuttering a few apologies. The blue-haired girl seemed to ignore the affectionate term, however. "Would you read to me? Or tell me a story, perhaps?"

The blue-eyed boy looked around nervously until he spotted a book up on a shelf. He walked over to it and looked at it. "Eh, it's a children's book. Princess, ronin hero, that sort of thing." His tone was disappointed.

"Read it to me, please?" The girl's red eyes narrowed as the pain grew steadily. _'I do not wish to take any more drugs. They make it hard for me to think clearly.' _

"Eh… hai, Rei-san. Of course." The third child sat next to Rei whom immediately retook his hand, making him wince for a moment as she squeezed it hard. Very hard. "Once long ago there was a brave ronin who wandered the countryside…" Shinji read for a few minutes and happened to glance at the first child whose mouth was slightly open in the cutest pout as she slept.

Shinji stared at her in awe for hours until he couldn't keep his own eyes open anymore and he fell asleep where he was, still holding her hand. The book dropped to the floor, forgotten.

* * *

Misato walked into the control center and frowned when she saw that Asuka was still in her Eva unit. "What's wrong with her? Have you tried ejecting her yet?"

Maya looked up at the major and smiled briefly. "She wanted to stay in and see if she could raise her sync ratio back to normal. So far, she hasn't topped 15."

Major Katsuragi scowled. "She can't even get the Eva to move at that rate." She tapped the comm. button to speak to the second child. "Pilot Soryu, why are you still in your Eva unit? Come out of there and give yourself a rest."

"I refuse." Asuka said in a shaky whisper.

Misato stared in shock up at the comm. window showing the German girl's tear-stained face. "Would you repeat that, please? I know you did not just say what I thought you said, because if so you would be disobeying my _order _." The major growled out. _'Play it smart, Asuka-chan…' _

"I will not exit my Eva unit until I have regained a sufficient sync ratio to pilot her effectively. Soryu out." Asuka terminated the communication and took deep steadying breaths. Every time she tried to concentrate on syncing with the Eva, images from her mind-rape would flood back into her mind. She was letting out a constant stream of obscenities in English, German, and Japanese as she tried to push past the images.

The people in the command center blushed at each other, for the second child had only flipped off the video. "**Kutabare, bakemono **! (Fuck you, monster!)" Asuka screamed, slamming her fists down on the controls. Then she started rocked back and forth in a cold sweat. "Shut up mother. Shut up mother. Shut up mother. Shut up mother. Shut up mother. SHUT UP YOU BITCH!" The red-haired girl chanted.

"Who is she talking to?" Maya wondered aloud.

Misato sighed and hit the comm. button again. "Asuka-chan… please come out of your Eva unit."

"Wonder girl is dead, isn't she?" The blue-eyed girl asked in a whisper.

The purple haired major frowned before responding. "No, she is alive. Shinji saved her. There is no cause for guilt."

The German girl laughed hysterically. "Of course, Shinji the Invincible saves the day! Wonder girl lives! And I'm trash. I'm **fucking worthless rubbish**!"

Major Katsuragi began to sweat. "Perhaps we should cut the power to that Eva… she might go berserk in there." She suggested in a worried tone.

"**Fuck all of you**!" The second child screamed. _'Piloting this Eva is the only thing that gives my life any meaning. And I can't even do that anymore… my very existence is futile. I have to try… I have to try… Shut up mother. Shut up mother. Shut up mother.' _She thought, pressing the heels of her hands to her temples as she focused on that which meant everything in the world to her.

"Sync ratio rising. 18... 19... 23…" Maya stated, watching the readouts.

"She's syncing… but is she stable enough psychologically to handle it?" Makoto wondered aloud.

Major Katsuragi frowned worriedly as she looked up at the demonic red Eva unit. _'What is going on in that disturbed head of yours, Asuka-chan?' _

"She's holding at 45." Lt. Ibuki informed the major.

"That is sufficient to control the Eva in battle when the 17 th angel attacks." Misato stated. She paced around the room for a few moments then walked back over to flip the comm. back on. "Asuka, your sync ratio is high enough to control the Eva. Please exit Unit 02 now. Do _not _force me to manually eject you. When you are out and have showered, please report to Dr. Kagame for psychological evaluation."

"Hai, Katsuragi-shousa." Asuka said simply. She had accomplished what she had set out to do and she felt relieved. She was by no means back to her normal self, but where the second child was concerned, what could be considered normal?

* * *

Gendo sat in the SEELE conference room and scowled behind his folded hands. "So Pilot Ayanami survived, then?" One of the members asked.

"That is correct. Her Eva was irreparably damaged, however." Commander Ikari replied.

"But she herself can still be of use to us, after the last angel is dealt with, is that correct?" Another member asked.

"…………… Hai. As long as she would be willing." Gendo replied reluctantly.

"Then it is your duty to make sure she is willing. The Human Instrumentality Project takes precedence over her wishes, Ikari. Do _not_ forget this." They stated firmly. "With the Lance of Longinus lost to us, we will have to make use of Unit 01 and Ayanami. You will make sure she will comply with our plan."

Gendo growled softly. "Of course." He replied, then he thought to himself , _'Bastards. We'll see who controls the third impact. Rei is **my** little girl, not _yours


	3. Seeds of Doubt

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 3: Seeds of Doubt

Rei awoke to the feeling that she was being watched. Though she was rather accustomed to the sensation, this time it just didn't feel as it normally did. She groaned as her injuries began to throb in pain and she glanced sideways at Shinji whom was in a most uncomfortable position as he slept in a thinly padded chair, one arm draped over the wooden armrest that his head was resting on and the other arm still holding her uninjured hand.

Rei watched him for several moments before her attention was diverted by Gendo Ikari standing by the foot of her bed. She was rather surprised she hadn't noticed him upon first waking up, but she betrayed none of her emotions. "Commander." She acknowledged him. _'He's going to yell at me in that manner he uses without raising his voice. It's rather… disturbing.' _She thought.

"Ayanami. It is time to begin the Human Instrumentality Project. Come with me, we're going to Lilith." Commander Ikari ordered, his voice cold.

The first child was shocked. "But… the last angel?" She inquired in a soft, almost scared tone.

"Dead. Pilot Soyru killed it an hour ago while you and Pilot Ikari slept. It is time to go. We must begin before SEELE comes here to control the outcome." The elder Ikari commanded.

The girl turned a worried red eye to Shinji for a few moments before she hesitantly replied. "I… do not wish to go, sir."

"Your _wishes _do not matter. I _order _you to go. Now get up." The commander said in a firm tone, his eyes blazing dangerously.

Rei swallowed, feeling the dryness in her mouth and throat. "Please… I do not wish to go. I want to live." She pleaded, her normally soft emotionless voice now vulnerable and scared.

"Come, Rei. I will _not _ask again." Ikari said.

Ayanami took a deep breath and shook her head, summoning up every scrap of defiance she could find in her soul. "I will not go. I do not believe in the third impact and I will not start it."

Gendo growled and grabbed the blue-haired girl around the neck and began to strangle her. "You are my doll! You will do what I say! _I _created you and _I _can destroy you! I can just animate the next Rei and have her initiate the third impact, do not forget this! **You are my doll for me to play with!**" He shouted.

Rei struggled against the assault to the best of her limited ability whilst having flashbacks of when Naoko Ikaji had strangled the first Rei to death. "Commander! What are you…" She fought for breath and scrambled for her life, feeling the burning sensation of all her injuries with every movement.

The blue-haired girl saw Shinji in the corner of her eye staring in horror at the sight of his father strangling the her to death, but he was paralyzed with fright. "Shinji… help….. me….." Rei gasped and fought harder, but her movements were slowing down and weakening. She would be unconscious in a matter of moments and then dead shortly thereafter.

Rage was building up inside the first child as she fought for her life. "I… am… not… a… **_doll_**!" She threw the commander off of her with a burst of adrenalin and gasped for breath. It was then she saw a weary-eyed Shinji staring at her in confusion and there was no Commander Ikari in sight. Rei looked around, despite the pain it caused her as she asked, "Where… is the commander?"

The blue-eyed boy shook his head and replied "At NERV headquarters I assume. Do you want me to call him for you, Rei-san?"

Rei looked at the third child as if he were insane. Then she became confused. "Was it… a dream? I don't remember ever having one before." The girl grimaced as she felt the throbbing of each and every injury, but she tried to ignore it. "Shinji-kun, I want to leave this place."

Shinji scratched the back of his head. "Are you sure? I don't think the doctors are ready to discharge you yet. I can ask though." He suggested with a worried glance at the bandages all over the girl.

The red-eyed girl frowned slightly. Her heart was still racing in her chest though she appeared outwardly calm. "Shinji-kun, even if the doctors do not wish me to leave yet, I will go home. I cannot stay here any longer. Please understand."

"Eh… hai, Rei-san. Leave it to me." The pilot of Eva Unit 01 said and then reluctantly left the hospital room and searched for the first child's doctor.

Rei reached out for a glass of water on the table next to where Shinji had been sleeping and frowned at her hand as it twitched. She stubbornly picked the glass up anyway but she couldn't maintain a firm enough grasp on it and it slipped out of her hand and crashed to the floor. The red-eyed girl stared at the glass shards until the third child returned. "Ayanami? They said they won't release you."

The first child sighed and motioned to the dark-haired boy. "Help me up, please?" She requested, hiding the pain she was feeling as best she could.

Shinji immediately rushed to her side. "Hai, Rei-san!" He affirmed while helping the girl to stand.

Using Shinji to walk, the blue-haired girl stumbled out into the hall to where her doctor was looking over her chart. He looked up and frowned at the girl. "What is this nonsense about you wanting to check out? You can't even walk on your own yet. We also want to observe you incase you have any internal bleeding that we've missed."

Rei stumbled over until she was in front of the doctor and fixed him with a stony glare that would have made Commander Ikari proud. "I am checking out, against your orders if need be. I will _not _stay here."

Shinji gave her an apprehensive look. "Rei-san… perhaps you should stay since the doctor…" He trailed off when she turned her icy glare on him. "Hai, Rei-san. Gomen." He blushed and looked down towards his feet, trying to ignore the fact that Rei was leaning into him. All she was wearing was her hospital gown and he could feel her warm skin underneath it.

"You would need someone to stay with you until you could move around on your own easily, Pilot Ayanami. That means cooking for you, cleaning for you, helping you bathe, helping you eat if need be, and being around when you sleep in case you develop a problem that needs medical assistance. Do you have someone to stay with you? I will try to arrange at home care if need be, but I can't guarantee it for several days at the minimum." The doctor stated, attempting to dissuade the girl from checking out.

Rei turned to look at Shinji intensely, whom became quite nervous because of her gaze. "Eh… hai, Rei-san?"

"Will you help me, Shinji-kun?" Rei requested in a soft tone.

Shinji blushed. "Uh… of course, Rei-san. It would be an honor." He agreed as he thought, _'I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away…' _

The doctor glared down at Shinji using his imposing height to intimidate the boy. " _You _will stay with Ayanami, all day and every day? You will cook her meals and help her eat? And you'll clean her home? You'll change her bandages and treat her wounds? And you'll also help her **_bathe _**?"

The third child's cheeks turned as red as Eva Unit 02. _'Don't remind me!' _He thought nervously, but with more conviction he replied, "Absolutely. I will do whatever Ayanami wishes of me. I am responsible for her life, now that I have saved it."

"It's an awesome responsibility, Pilot Ikari. You are too _young _for such a task" The doctor stated firmly. He looked as if he wanted to slap some sense into the both of them.

Shinji felt like crawling under a rock but Rei was prodding him with her elbow. He glanced at her and saw the pleading look in her eyes that most people would miss. _'Am I starting to see past her mask? I never realized Rei-san's eyes were so expressive.' _Shinji fixed the doctor with an impassioned glare. "Is that so! I can do it. I **_will _**do it. Please release Ayanami to my care, doctor."

The doctor scowled, but stubbornly he didn't move. "You heard him. Please do not force him to repeat himself, doctor. Your career may not have the most prosperous future due to the bad karma such an action would gain you." Rei stated calmly. The unwavering look in her eyes made the doctor realize he had just been threatened, and whether it was a hollow threat or not, it worked. "Of course. I'll have the papers for you in a few moments. Have a seat, please."

The first child stared at him as he retreated then turned to give Shinji the barest of smiles. "Thank you, Shinji-kun." She said gratefully.

The young Ikari blushed in embarrassment at the appreciation. "Don't mention it, Rei-san."

They both looked up as an orderly with a wheelchair rushed up. Rei frowned down at it as she said, "I do not wish to be in that. I will walk out of here with Ikari-kun."

The orderly gave her a big grin and shook his head. "Sorry, but if you're carried in you're wheeled out. Those are the rules. And actually, you should keep this wheelchair. It'll help you get around until you can walk on your own."

Rei sighed in resignation and gingerly sat down onto the wheelchair with Shinji's help. Then they waited rather impatiently until the doctor returned with some forms and some orders and prescriptions. "At the first sign of trouble, get her back here. Do you understand, Pilot Ikari?" The doctor demanded, fixing the boy with a scowl.

"Yes sir. Thank you for taking such good care of Rei-san." The blue-eyed boy said as he bowed politely. The red-eyed girl handed the papers to Shinji for him to sign since her hand was still unsteady. He blushed and signed her name then underneath it his own and indicated that he was signing for her.

They left quietly, Rei ignoring the glares from the hospital staff but the third child felt every single one of them and had to keep repeating "I mustn't run away" to himself to keep from barreling down the hallways.

The young Ikari paused suddenly, earning a quizzical expression from Rei. "Um, I just realized something. How am I going to get you home? I'm still in my plugsuit…" He said, and added mentally, _'And I still stink of LCL…' _Then he continued with "And you're just in a hospital gown. I don't mind being dressed as I am, but I don't think you should have to have people staring at you for the long walk home."

Rei gave him a strange look. "I do not mind people looking at me, Shinji-kun. But if it bothers you that much, call a taxi."

Shinji blushed. "Um, I would but I don't have any money. Plugsuit… no pockets."

"Do not worry about money, Shinji-kun. It will not come up." The first child stated then looked forward towards the doors that led outside.

The blue-eyed boy scratched his head. "Um… are you sure?" When the quiet girl made no response, the third child sighed and wheeled her outside. After a few minutes of waiting a taxi drove by on a routine check for customers. At Shinji's wave, it pulled up beside them. The boy opened the cab's door and helped Rei into the back seat and then placed the folded up wheelchair into the boot of the cab. He then got into the backseat next to the blue-haired girl.

"Destination please?" The driver requested, looking back at them.

Shinji looked over at the red-eyed angel. "Do you want to go to your apartment or would you prefer to stay with Misato-san?" Rei stared at him. "Uh… Katsuragi-shousa." He corrected himself.

"My apartment, please." The first child replied. _'Like you even had to ask?' _She wondered.

Shinji started to sweat. "Your apartment? Are you sure?" The blue-haired girl made no response. She simply shifted in the seat and remained silent. The third child coughed and told the driver to take them to the girl's apartment. The young Ikari mostly stared at his lap, but he also snuck a few peeks at the mysterious red-eyed girl, who either did not notice or did not care that he was looking at her.

"We're here." The driver announced. He turned in the seat to look back at them. "That'll be 2500 yen, please."

Rei turned to give the third child an expectant stare, which made him quite nervous.

"Um, Rei-san?" Shinji inquired, uncertain of what to do.

"You _are _going to help me out of the vehicle, are you not, Shinji-kun?" The blue-haired girl inquired, pointedly ignoring the driver.

"Sure, he'll help ya out as soon as he pays me my 2500 yen. Isn't that right, boy?" The taxi-driver growled out.

_'Oh god… I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!' _He thought in a panic. Desperate to avoid confrontation, he inquired, "Um, Rei, you wouldn't happen to have any money up in your apartment, would you?" Shinji asked, hoping that he could run up and get the money and pay the driver before he got hostile.

"Yes. But it is not necessary. Please help me out of the car, Shinji-kun." The blue-haired beauty repeated. She gave no outward indication of it, but she was getting annoyed.

"Missy, you had best let your little boyfriend run up and get that money. You can stay here until he pays me." The driver declared.

The girl turned her crimson eyes on the driver. "You are very rude. You will be compensated when you tell your superiors that you drove Ayanami Rei from the hospital to her apartment. Now, stop talking. You are scaring Shinji-kun."

The driver grabbed Rei's gown and growled at her. "Look, I don't know who you think you are, but you pay or I get rough with ya! And you don't look to be in any condition ta handle it! Got it?"

Rei gave him a cold stare, clearly not intimidated, but Shinji felt a coil of rage snap inside him. "You asshole!" Shinji cried, grabbing the man's thumb on instinct and snapping it sideways. "Don't ever fucking touch her, you son of a whore!" Shinji screamed in anger, leaning over the seat and punching the man in the face repeatedly. He felt the blue-haired girl's cool hand touch his arm and his wrath trickled away instantly, leaving him feeling nauseous and lightheaded.

"That is enough, Shinji-kun. You have made your point. Please help me out of the car now." Rei stated in an emotionless tone.

The third child stared at the girl in shock for several long moments, not believing what he had just done. He turned and opened the door and slid out. Rei started sliding out after him, since she had been sitting in the middle of the back seat. The boy knelt down and carefully helped her out.

As soon as she cleared the door, the car sped off. "Damn! Your wheelchair was still in there." Shinji griped, then let out a string of obscenities about the driver. He was interrupted by a strange but lovely sound. He looked down and realized that Rei was giggling at him. He blushed and scratched the back of his head self-consciously. "Well, let's get you upstairs."

"Hai." Rei agreed.

Shinji knelt down a bit and put Rei's arm over his shoulders and reached around to hold her opposite hip to support her. As they approached the apartment, the boy became nervous as some lowlife types looked at them. "Rei, must you live in such a bad neighborhood?" The third child grumbled out. The blue-haired beauty made no reply so he let the subject drop. _'She likes to ignore my questions a lot. I wonder why?' _Shinji grimaced as he remembered that Rei lived up on the fourth floor. He looked at her for a moment. _'She can't weigh that much…' _He reasoned. "I'm sorry, Rei-san." He said suddenly.

The red-eyed girl looked at him curiously. "About what?" She inquired.

"This." Shinji replied, carefully picking the girl up. _'I was right. She's as light as a feather. Thank goodness!' _He thought to himself. "Are you ok?" He asked, to which she simply nodded. "Ok, going up. I'll be as careful as I can."

The third child started up the steps, noticing that Rei was wincing occasionally when he didn't hold her still enough. He gritted his teeth together and made the climb up as smooth as he could, but it took more energy and he was getting exhausted by the time they reached the top. _'I don't see any reason to set her down yet…' _

Shinji walked up to her apartment door and held her carefully as he reached out for the doorknob then kneed the door open, feeling thankful for once that the girl didn't lock her door. "Going in!" He called, and entered her apartment. "Bed?" Shinji asked, to which he earned a nod. He walked over and set her down on the bed as carefully as he could. _'Thank goodness she's so light!' _He thought. Then the boy inquired "Do you need anything, Rei-san?"

"Water." The first child replied immediately. "I'm hungry as well. Could you fix me something to eat, please?"

Shinji smiled. "Leave it to me, Rei-san!"

Rei grimaced as she shifted back on the bed as the dark-haired boy walked into her kitchen area which was back towards the front door and smiled slightly when he screamed like a little girl at the mess. She could hear him grumbling about what a pigsty her apartment was and she knew he thought she couldn't hear him so she ignored it. The first child leaned back against her pillows and gritted her teeth to keep from crying out in pain. _'Damn ribs…' _She nodded thankfully at him when Shinji brought her a glass of water then watched as he went back into the kitchen and looked through her small refrigerator.

"I forgot you were a vegetarian, Rei-san." Shinji called out. _'Damn, I wanted to have some stir fry vegetables with some chicken.'_

"There are dry noodles and rice in the first cabinet near the icebox, Shinji-kun." Rei called back. _'I hate raising my voice… ow.' _

Shinji made the most out of what he found so ended up making what was left of the noodles as well as some rice and vegetables. He found two plums in the back of the refrigerator that still smelled and looked fresh, as well. "Do you have a tray, Rei-san?" The boy asked over his shoulder.

_'Damn.' _She thought before replying aloud, "I can set the food on my end table for now, Shinji-kun." Rei announced, wincing as she slid over to the edge of the bed. _'Whoa… dizzy…' _

Shinji rushed in. "Don't walk on your own, Rei-chan!" He shouted. He bit his tongue when he realized he had used an informal tone with her, but she made no comment. _'That's the second time I slipped. She doesn't seem to mind… but I should try to stop from saying that…' _He moved her chair over near the bed and helped her to move into it, then he brought the food in and set it down on the end table behind the headboard of the bed. He sat on the edge of her bed, balancing the food in one hand and keeping a watchful eye on the lovely red-eyed girl as they ate in silence.

"I will get some sleep now, if it is all right with you, Shinji-kun. I am tired." Rei informed him.

"Of course." Shinji replied, smiling. 'Oh crap, where am I going to sleep? This floor hasn't been cleaned probably since Rei moved in. Not to mention the fact that it's concrete! I need to get some clothes too.' He helped her back to her bed and she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Shinji stared at her in awe for a while then looked around. _'I guess I'll just sleep on the floor. There's no helping it.' _Shinji sighed and lied down on the cold hard floor and used his arms for a pillow. _'My back is killing me…Concrete is not made to be slept on!' _He thought as his spine protested against the sleeping accomadations.

"Oyasumi, Rei-san." Shinji whispered, even though the blue-haired beauty was already asleep. _'What have I gotten myself into? Damn… I wish I had my SDAT player, at least…'_

_

* * *

_

Asuka sighed and walked in to Misato's apartment. "Back here. It can't be helped. I have to prove that I'm not a psychopath." The second child muttered aloud. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment as memories flashed behind her eyes. "Shut up mother." She whispered to herself and strode confidently into the home. She looked at the stove and saw there was nothing cooked.

The second child growled and stormed over to Shinji's room and threw the door open. "Shinji, you idiot! Get in here and cook me some damn dinner!" The red-haired girl frowned as she noticed Shinji was not there and it looked like he hadn't come home at all. "His SDAT player? He never goes anywhere without this."

The German girl stomped over to Misato's door and banged on it. "Misato-san! Where is that baka!"

The major threw open her door and glared at Asuka. The purple-haired beauty was half drunk and exhausted. And even worse, she was out of beer. So she wasn't exactly in the best of moods. "Shinji isn't here. Last I heard he was with Ayanami at the hospital. Why don't you go to bed like a good little girl, ok?" Misato slammed her door shut and plopped back onto her bedroll and was back asleep immediately.

Asuka threw up her arms in exasperation. "Who is going to cook my dinner, damn it! Dummkopf, how dare you hold Wonder Girl's precious little hand while leaving me here to starve to death!"

Pen-pen poked his head out and began to sweat. _'Why don't you just cook your own dinner, dumbass?' _The penguin thought.

The red-haired neurotic stomped around a bit more in the kitchen and finally settled on grabbing a bag of chips. "Forced to subsist on junk food. That little idiot will have to lick my feet for me to forgive him for this!" Asuka shoved a handful of chips into her mouth and glared at the penguin. "**And just what are you looking at!**"

Pen-pen hurried away, not wanting to be on the receiving end of the German girl's wrath.

The blue-eyed girl scowled and flipped the television on, alone with her thoughts. "Shut _up _, mother." She spat out for the hundredth time that day.


	4. My Eyes Are Closed, Yet Still I See

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 4: My Eyes Are Closed, Yet Still I See

"Shinji-kun… you're such a stud! I must have you now!" Misato crooned, running her hand over the boy's naked body.

"Mi… Misato-san?" Shinji gasped.

Misato giggled and nibbled at the third child's earlobe. "Oh, save the crying of my name out for later." The major rubbed her large breasts against the boy and even leaned forward to rub them in his face from where she was lying cradled into his side.

"I… I can't believe this is happening!" Shinji cried, though Little Shinji was ecstatic.

"Believe it, Shinji." Asuka said, coming up against the third child's other side and joining Misato's explorations of the boy's body. "Think you can handle us both?" She asked with a devilish grin.

Shinji gasped and felt his whole body flush from the excitement. "I can't take this!" He cried. He was just reaching down to grasp both girls' bottoms when Rei slid up his body from his feet and stared down at him. Shinji stared at her in awe. "Rei-chan?"

"Shinji… you stink." Rei stated flatly.

"What!" Shinji cried in disbelief. _'She crawled onto my naked body in the midst of this… dream?' _Shinji's eyes snapped open and he felt embarrassed that his arousal was so apparent to Rei who was looking down at him from her bed.

"I said you stink, Shinji. You never bathed to get rid of that LCL. Please use my shower." Rei requested.

Shinji groaned and sat up, immediately regretting it when he felt his stiff muscles begin to spasm. "Ow!" Shinji groaned out softly.

"You will feel better once you have showered. Please shower now. And burn that plugsuit." The blue-haired girl deadpanned.

The blue-eyed boy stood up and stretched then blushed when he noticed his erection had not subsided yet. "I won't have any clothes to change into though, Rei-san."

The first child nodded towards her closet. "There is a sweatshirt and pants in there I was going to use for jogging, but they are too big. And I never got around to jogging. You can use those, they should fit you. Please shower now." Rei was getting tired of repeating herself. _'How can you even stand to not run screaming into the shower! There isn't even a word strong enough to describe how much you stink!' _

The third child blushed and hurried into the bathroom when he realized that even though she wasn't showing any outward signs of it, she was quite upset with him for stalling. He self-consciously sniffed at himself and gagged. Realizing just how horrendous his stench was, he quickly turned on the shower and climbed in without waiting for the water to heat. He cried out from the shock of the cold water, which prompted Rei to yell in asking him if he was hurt. "No, Rei-san! Sorry to worry you, I stepped in before the water heated." He felt guilty because he knew that yelling out like that was hard on her for two reasons, one being she very rarely raised her voice and even then it was usually while in battle, and the other being her cracked ribs.

Shinji grabbed a sponge and squirted some body lotion on it, frowning slightly when he noticed it was unscented. _'I'm going to have to remedy that. Cherry blossom scent, maybe? Or orange blossoms… I can't decide.' _He scrubbed furiously at his body, making sure every square inch of his skin was clean before rinsing the suds off. He sniffed at his skin and frowned. The blood smell of the LCL was still detectable, so he repeated the process until his skin was beginning to feel raw. He then washed his hair twice and then used conditioner because the shampoo Rei was using was a little too effective, stripping his hair and leaving it dry and damaged.

He blushed when he remembered the erotic dream he was having earlier and frowned slightly when he realized that the Rei in his dream was wearing her school uniform while Asuka and Misato had been nude. _'Is it because I am not attracted to her? No… I'm very attracted to her. But, I can't think of her as a sex object as easily as I can Misato-san and Asuka-san. What is different about… Rei?' _

Rei slid into the shower behind him and sniffed absently at his back. "Much better, Shinji-kun. Now, would you please help me wash?"

Shinji knew his entire body had flushed dark red, and what was worse is he had been absent-mindedly stroking himself while thinking about the dream. _'I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away…' _He reached up with a shaky hand and directed the spray behind him so that the first child would get wet. "Can you wash yourself at all or will I need to… ah…" He couldn't bring himself to say it. He felt like crying apologies and prostrating himself before her to seek forgiveness but he wasn't sure why. _'This should be a dream come true…' _

The red-eyed girl silently took the sponge and squirted a bit of body wash on it and began to wash herself as best she could with her good arm. Shinji turned to watch her, trying his best not to look below her face. He winced in sympathy when he saw her eyes crinkling in pain. "I can take over, Rei-san. You are still in too much pain to do much by yourself, ne?" He asked with a gentle smile.

"Yes." Rei responded, hiding her relief as she handed the sponge over to the third child.

Shinji knelt to the ground and washed her feet, keeping his eyes downcast and trying not to think about what he would see if he just looked upwards. He washed her legs next and then stood up and blushed, not wanting to touch her in such an intimate place. "Your uh… back, next?"

The first child gave him a quizzical frown but turned. _'This seems like such a chore to him. Perhaps I should go to NERV and get one of the nurses there to tend to me. I should not be imposing upon Shinji like this, just because I am the most comfortable with him.' _

Shinji tried to keep his breathing even and his arousal from brushing against her as he scrubbed her back and then her arms, being careful not to scrub too hard against the cuts or press against her injured arm. "You are clean." Shinji said in a shaky breath.

"Is that so? No, my front, my neck, behind my ears, my face, my…" Rei was about to name a very intimate part of her body when the third child interrupted.

"Oh! Sorry, I wasn't watching what you had washed for yourself. I thought you had already cleaned all of that." He lied. _'Damn… she's going to think I'm a pervert when she looks down.' _

The red-eyed girl, however, did not look down. She simply took a step forward and closed her eyes, waiting for her face to be scrubbed. She could have done it herself, but the scrubbing motion made her sides ache.

The blue-eyed boy took the opportunity to scrub her face and sighed with relief because now she couldn't open her eyes without getting suds in them so he could wash the rest of her without worrying about her seeing the effect that her body was having on him. 'I'm such a jerk. I'm disgusting. I can't even wash an injured girl without thinking perverted things. Forgive me, Rei.' He scrubbed her flat belly for several long moments then glanced upwards and bit the inside of his mouth to keep from gasping. _' **Boobs **!' _He couldn't help but stare, even though he knew it was wrong. _'She's so… gorgeous. So innocently beautiful… and I'm sullying her by looking at her like this. I **must **stop.' _He quickly scrubbed her chest and sighed in relief. "Done."

Rei frowned. "You still have not cleaned some places. I am sorry that I am imposing so much upon you, Shinji-san. Hand me the sponge if you would be so kind so that I can finish. I will head into NERV and stay there until I have recovered." Her voice was flat, almost dead.

Shinji's mouth gaped open in shock. "I… I'm sorry I offended you, Rei-san. I… I'm so sorry."

The first child reached out blindly for the sponge. "Offend? You didn't offend me. I know you would rather not be here. I should not have talked you into caring for me whilst I am injured."

"What! I don't mind, Rei-san! I really don't." Shinji let her have the sponge and was ashamed when he saw how much pain she was in from washing her intimate anatomy. "I have failed you, Rei-san."

The blue-haired girl stifled a sigh of annoyance. "Please step back so that I can rinse."

The third child stepped back automatically. He tried to stare at his feet but he couldn't help looking up and gasping in amazement at how beautiful she looked with the water spray hitting her face. Rei winced as she reached up to wipe the water and any residual suds from her eyes before opening them. Realizing what she was doing, Shinji reached out and stroked the water from her eyes with a tender touch. Rei opened them and regarded him with her crimson eyes. "Shampoo?" The young Ikari asked, holding up the bottle and hoping his face wasn't as red as he thought it was.

The red-eyed girl nodded and turned around and tilted her head back. She barely suppressed a groan of enjoyment when the third child's fingers massaged the shampoo into her scalp. "I don't think I've ever been washed by another." Rei commented. Shinji had no idea how significant this was to the first child.

"We should get you some scented body wash and shampoo, Rei-san. I was thinking perhaps orange blossoms. These are so… antiseptic. They don't suit you." The boy stated, pulling her gently back into the water spray to rinse the shampoo from her blue hair. _'Her hair is so exotic and lovely… wow. I've never seen a girl with this shade of hair before. I've seen darker blue/blacks, some dark purples like Misato-san, but never this light shade of blue. Wow…' _"Conditioner?" Shinji asked.

Rei pulled some hair towards her nose even though it made a sharp stab of pain lance through her side. She sniffed at it and frowned. "It still smells of LCL. Would you please shampoo it again?" She requested, thinking to herself _'They didn't wash my hair in the hospital. Actually all they did was wash me with a cloth. I'm surprised I didn't stink as badly as Shinji-kun did before coming in here.' _

"Hai, Rei-san." The dark-haired boy murmured, rubbing more shampoo into her hair. He sighed as he kneaded the suds into her hair, going slower and even more gently than he had before. Had someone been watching, they would have thought he was worshipping her hair or using it to worship her, at any rate. They would be right.

Rei's eyes drifted closed, partly because she didn't want to get any shampoo suds in her eyes, and also because the feeling of having her hair washed relaxed her.

Before either of them would have liked, the third child gently pulled the girl into the water's spray and reached for the conditioner. He silently poured some on top of her head and began to run his fingers through her short blue locks, making sure every strand of hair was coated in the enriched conditioner. He grinned as he realized that the conditioner, at least, had a slight vanilla scent. After he was done Rei backed up into the corner of the shower, as Shinji still needed to rinse the conditioner from his hair. _'It should be silky smooth by now.' _

The red-eyed girl took the opportunity to look at her cuts and saw that most of them were nearly healed. The worst of them still were a bit red but now resembled little more than scratches. She wondered how long it would take her ribs to heal, for her arm injury didn't bother her that much. Without an Eva to pilot, she wouldn't need two fully functional arms for a while, though of course she would prefer them. _'At least I can walk on my own now… though being carried by Shinji was… oddly comforting.' _Rei took another sniff at her skin. _'The LCL smell is gone, but it doesn't smell like anything now. Is this what Shinji meant when he said it made me smell… antiseptic?' _The first child watched as the blue-eyed boy rinsed the last of the conditioner out before he stepped towards her.

"You want to give the conditioner a few more minutes to work?" Shinji asked gently.

The blue-haired girl nodded and was a bit confused as she noticed the young Ikari had his head tilted upwards as if he were about to look at the ceiling. "Is something wrong, Shinji-kun?"

The third child paled. " _**No! **_Of course not, Rei-san. Why do you ask?"

Rei titled her head to the side. "Are you upset with me? Have I done something wrong?"

"I…no. I just… don't want to be impolite by staring at you, Rei-san." Shinji blushed. _'She's going to think I'm a pervert.' _

"I find no offense in your gaze, Shinji-kun." The first child stated calmly. _'He's so uptight. He'll have a heart attack by the time he's 40.' _

The blue-eyed boy nodded in relief. "It will just take some getting used to. I'm just not accustomed to being around a beautiful naked girl, that's all."

Rei felt the skin beneath her eyes heat up and she realized she was blushing. _'Why am I reacting this way? I don't understand. But then, I don't think anyone has ever told me that they thought I was beautiful before. What does it mean? The definition is insufficient.' _

Shinji misunderstood her reaction by thinking she was growing self-conscious from his looking at her. "Sorry! I won't look. I can't believe I just did that. Forgive me, Rei-san!"

The first child ignored the apology. "Thank you for helping me to bathe, Shinji-kun. I am ready to rinse my hair now." She stepped forward nearly bumping into the boy who hastily backed away so the water would spray into her hair.

Shinji reached up to help rinse the conditioner away. "It's no problem, Rei-san. Any time." He replied as he wondered, _'Did that just sound like a come-on?' _Finished with the shower, Shinji turned the spray off and reached out for a towel to wrap around Ayanami then another for himself. _'Wow… what a lot of hot water. Must be because this is an apartment complex and Rei is the only tenant. So she gets all the hot water that would normally go to all the rooms.' _

Rei took a hand towel and sat on the bed to absently dry her hair with it while Shinji started breakfast then hurried into the closet to find the sweat clothes that Rei had offered for him to wear. He pulled them on, feeling a little embarrassed that he had no underpants to wear. _'I should have had the driver stop at Misato's place so I could at least get some clothing.' _He hurried back in to finish breakfast then ran back to help the blue-haired girl finish drying off before walking over to her closet. "What do you want to wear today, Rei-san?"

"My school uniform, I suppose." Rei stated absently. _'Does it matter?' _

"No school today. Would you prefer wearing something more… casual? Or do you like wearing your uniform?" Shinji asked, glancing back at the girl which he immediately regretted doing because she had set the towels down beside her. He looked back into the closet and blushed. _'I was just in a shower with her for half an hour or so and I'm still getting embarrassed by seeing her nude. I'm so pathetic.' _

"I really don't care, Shinji-kun." The red-eyed girl stated flatly.

The third child sighed and rustled through her clothing. _'Most of what she has are her school uniforms. Wait, there're a few casual clothing items on this side.' _He pulled out a t-shirt and some shorts, but then glanced back at Rei and frowned. _'No t-shirt, it'll hurt her to put it on.' _He found a comfortable looking button up blouse and selected that instead. He walked towards her and was about to slip her clothing on when she backed away slightly. "Rei-san?" Shinji asked in confusion.

"Undergarments?" Ayanami requested quietly.

Shinji blushed. "Well, do you want to go without the bra because of your ribs? I mean… is it necessary?" _'They're cute but I really would rather you not wear them anyway…' _

Rei shrugged. "I was told I was to start wearing them. I can go without the bra, I do not care."

The blue-eyed boy nodded wrapped some fresh bandages on the girl and then looked into her dresser and pulled out a blue pair of silk panties, nearly hidden among the hoard of white cotton undergarments in the girl's dresser. He willed his body not to get over-excited as he walked over to Rei.

He knelt down at her feet and slid the garment up and paused when he realized he had them on backwards so he sighed and pulled them off and straightened them out. Even though she wasn't giggling, he could tell that the red-eyed girl was amused at his confusion over female undergarments. Shinji blushed again as he got them up all the way and backed away, trying to will his blush to vanish but it only made it worse.

"Are you ill, Shinji-kun? You are flushed." Rei asked in her soft voice.

Shinji shook his head. "Sorry. It just… happens sometimes." _'When I see things that excite me. I'm so pathetic.' _He added mentally.

Rei remained silent, accepting his explanation without question. Shinji finished dressing her then helped her into the kitchen area even though he could tell she could walk on her own now. He didn't want to bring it up because it felt comfortable being so close to her. She made no comment either, though he was fairly sure it was out of politeness. He then rolled her chair into the area so she could sit down comfortably and he simply remained standing.

"You like miso soup, I hope?" Shinji asked. _'Of course she does, she has plenty of miso lying around, idiot!' _He chastised himself for sounding foolish.

"Yes, I like it Shinji-kun." Rei replied, taking the still warm bowl and sipping at it carefully. It was a bit hard to hold one handed but she managed decently enough. She noticed that the blue-eyed boy was staring at her in awe. "Is something wrong, Shinji-kun?" Rei asked, licking at the white soup that still clung to her lips.

Shinji turned beet red and stammered to reply. "Uh… uh… I was just thinking that perhaps you'd like to try a less mild miso next time?" But in his mind he was thinking _'Yes… red instead of that mild white… it looks too much like you're drinking… wow. And when you lick it off your lips… I can't help but thing disgusting perverted things. I'm so wretched.' _

The first child scrunched her nose up at the thought of the spicier red miso. "I don't like it like that. But we could get some for you if you prefer that kind?"

Shinji lowered his eyes. "No, I prefer it mild as well. I just thought perhaps you might like to try it. I didn't realize you already had." He replied lamely. _'I can try not to think about it in such a despicable manner. Why must I be so fucked up?' _His eyes widened slightly as he realized she had actually made a full blown facial expression when she crinkled her nose in distaste. He filed the memory away as precious, a weird feeling coming over him as he thought that he had seen a rare glimpse at the real Rei, not the stoic face she turned to the world.

"Are you still hungry?" Shinji asked, grabbing a pear for himself after he finished his soup.

"I like to have some soy milk after my morning soup." The blue-haired girl stated, nodding towards the icebox. "I believe I am out of pickled vegetables, unfortunately."

"Ah, of course, Rei-chan!" He jumped up, not even noticing the informal tone he had just used.

Rei smirked slightly but dropped the expression before he turned back to her. She thought it was cute that he kept using such an endearing term for her. _'He's never slipped and referred to Pilot Soryu as chan. Why is Shinji so nice to her when she treats him like dirt?' _She sipped at her soy milk and tried not to laugh when he drank some as well and grimaced, finding it a little on the bitter side. "You do not like it, Shinji-kun?"

"It'll take some getting used to, I suppose. You like it?" Shinji asked in a somewhat skeptical tone, to which the first child nodded. The blue-eyed boy shrugged and drank some more. "I'll bet it would be great with some banana blended in with it… but bananas are too expensive to waste like that."

"We are going to need more groceries, Shinji-kun. I am almost out of food already and we will need a lot more than what I normally get. You should stop by Katsuragi-shousa's home and get some clothing as well, and anything else you might want." The red-eyed girl informed him as she thought 'Such as your SDAT. You are already getting fidgety without it.'

"Ah… of course. Leave it to me, Rei-cha.. san." The third child blushed, catching himself that time. _'Oh man… she's going to think I'm a jerk. That I'm a freak. She's going to hate me. She doesn't look fazed, but underneath that calm serene face is a volcanic eruption waiting to happen and she'll kick me into the ground! Asuka would have done it already, I'm sure.' _

Rei raised an eyebrow slightly. "I will get a little more sleep while you are gone. I will also make a call and have some bedding brought over for you. If you want, have them deliver the groceries as well. You might want to get enough to last at least a week and that is too much for you to carry."

Shinji blushed. "Ah… I don't have enough money for that. I'll just get a few days worth. I'll be paid in two days, so I can get more then."

The first child inwardly rolled her eyes. "Tell them to deliver to Ayanami Rei's and to charge the bill to my tab. It is taken care of by NERV. I have not paid for groceries since I moved in here." She continued on in her thoughts. _'Actually, I never carry money. I do not need it. Commander Ikari knows I never remember to carry money. Three days in a row of me being stranded at the train station for hours taught him that.' _

"Oh… but I should pay for half…" The blue-eyed boy started to say.

"It is taken care of. You do not have to pay for any of it. You may want to pick up a few extra things as well such as shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste, and anything else you can think of. Get plenty of fruit as well because I eat a lot of it. And some meat if you want some. Get whatever you want. Please don't get anything cheap and low quality, I become ill from that crap." Rei deadpanned.

Shinji almost choked, it was the first naughty word he had ever heard her say… well… semi-naughty. He bit the inside of his cheeks but that didn't keep him from grinning. _'She's so amazing.' _"Of course, Rei-chan. Leave it to me."

The first child nodded regally. _'There was another chan that he did not freak out over. There is hope for him yet.' _

"You'll be ok on your own for a while? I hate to leave you alone like this…" The young Ikari said with a frown.

The blue-haired girl nodded. "Yes. I will be fine. I shall nap until you return." She settled back onto her pillow and shifted a bit until she was comfortable. _'The more I sleep the faster I heal. Not that I mind being taken care of…' _

"All right. I'll be back soon then, Rei-chan!" Shinji grinned as he headed for the door. _'Crap, did I just say chan again? I am **so **dead.' _

"Thank you, Shinji-kun." Rei responded before closing her eyes. _'There was chan number 3.' _She smiled for a moment after he left and then had to stop herself from rolling over onto her stomach so she wouldn't hurt her ribs. She reached over for the phone and called for a bed to be delivered before the end of the day, invoking her name which immediately earned a more respectful tone. She had never questioned why shop owners treated her as if she were a princess, as she had never been treated any differently. She had no idea that the commander paid a nice percentage on top of settling her tabs every month with whatever shops she purchased from. It was too bad that not all the taxi-drivers knew about that…

The first child considered calling Commander Ikari to see if he wanted to talk but she decided not to for two reasons. The first being he would probably want to talk in person and she didn't feel up to that yet. The second being, she really wanted to avoid talking with him at all for she knew the third impact would likely be brought up and she was no where near ready for that conversation yet.

The blue haired girl wasn't sure what part she would play in the events now that her Eva was destroyed, or what the purpose of the event would be yet, but she was beginning to doubt that the commander was as noble as she previously thought him to be. Rei sighed and closed her eyes and forced herself to fall into a slumber.

* * *

Shinji was gathering up the last of his clothing and recreational items (including a few ones that he hoped Rei wouldn't notice) when Asuka strolled into his room, without knocking of course. "Finally back home, silly little Shinji? I knew you couldn't stay away from me, you pervert!"

Shinji winced. _'Damn, I thought she was out.' _He thought to himself before replying aloud. "I'm heading out again. I'll be staying with Rei-san for a while to help take care of her as she recovers from the last angel attack." As soon as he said that, he realized his mistake. _'Crap… I should have called her Ayanami… here it comes.' _

"Oh… so _informal _with her now, are you? No more Ayanami this, Ayanami that? You damned idiot! You think she's so much more special than me? You and Wonder Girl make a great couple. I hope you fuck her and have lots of fucking little red-eyed dumb-fuck kids, you little shit!" The second child yelled, her face as red as her hair.

The blue-eyed boy scowled at her words. "Please do not talk about Rei-san that way, Soryu."

The German girl glared at him, surprised that he had fallen to a more formal method of referring to her. "I'll talk about her however I see fit. And I'll treat you however I see fit too. Come here, you little simpleton." She commanded.

Shinji started to sweat. He knew that gleam in her eye. She was going to humiliate him… and make him hurt, and likely even make him bleed. Most definitely she'd make him beg for mercy. "No, Soryu. I must be leaving…" He said as he chanted in his mind, _'Please let me go… I must run away… I must run away…' _

Asuka shook her head and gave him a saucy grin. "I'm horny, baka. Pleasure me with your mouth, if you can manage to do a decent job, I'll let you go."

" **What **?" Shinji cried. She had barely let him kiss her last time, now she was going to have him… _'Wow!' _

The red-haired girl smirked when she saw the perverted gleam in the teenaged boy's eyes. _'I got him back, Wonder Girl! All it took was a little bit of pussy waved in his face. You think you're better than me, huh? I win this round, you snotty little bitch.' _The second child slid her panties down and lifted up her skirt, feeling good about herself when she saw the rapt attention that the boy was giving her sex.

The German pilot sauntered forward, frowning slightly as the third child backed up into the wall nervously. _'I'm going to get you, baka! You can't run away from the great Asuka Langley Soryu!' _She jutted her hips forward and licked her lips in anticipation. She wasn't really aroused when she had started this but she was beginning to be now. This was a total power trip for her, and nothing else.

"I… I can't… Asuka-san." Shinji stammered, though he couldn't take his eyes off her womanhood. _'Wow… I've never gotten such a good look at one before… It's so mysterious and beautiful…' _

"Even a brainless twit like you can do this. Just stick your tongue out and you'll figure the rest out." Asuka crooned, urging him on. _'Just **do **it, god damn you! I want to smirk at that little tramp next time I see her and know you left out of here with my juices all over your face. I'll bet you still smell of my arousal when you go crawling back to her. Oooh yeah… that little bitch will know I'm her superior! **And no comments from you, mother! **' _

The third child reached out to grasp the girl's firm bottom and inhaled her intoxicating scent. He was about to dive in and see how loud a scream of pleasure he could evoke from her when a mental image of Rei looking at him sadly flashed through his mind. Though he had no official relationship with the quiet blue-haired girl, he still felt he would be betraying her if he went through with this. Though the hormones that were racing through his bloodstream were screaming at him to lick the girl until she passed out from pleasure, he turned his head and dipped down to get out of the trap formed from the girl's legs. "I'm very sorry, but I cannot." Shinji said as he blushed. _'I **can't **believe I just did that!' _

"I can't believe you just did that!" The second child yelled, blushing furiously in shame. "How dare you? You think you're better than me? You think that fucking _doll _is better than me? I'll beat the shit out of you and then do the same to that little bitch!"

The dark haired boy's eye twitched and then his fingers followed suit. "Don't go there, Soryu. Please, just calm down. This has nothing to do with you. I'd like nothing better than to pleasure you, but I'd feel guilty about that. I refuse to make it worse by actually going through with it. Please accept my heartfelt apologies."

Asuka growled and pounced on the other pilot and rained blows down on him, all the while cursing him in English, German, and Japanese. She got up and started kicking him in the ribs, hoping she cracked them. After she had him semi-conscious she rolled him onto his back and straddled his face. "You think you're better than me? You think that little doll is better than _**me **_? I'll show you how wrong you are. _**No one **_is better than me, you brainless little shit!" The German girl growled, grinding her sex into his face.

The blue-eyed boy's hands clenched together in anger. _'I can't take this crap anymore… I don't want to **ever **come back here, damn it!' _He vowed. "Get off of me, Asuka." Shinji warned in a low cold voice.

Asuka paused. "You're talking down to me now, Shin-chan? I'll have none of that. You're **_my _**little bitch. And don't you _**ever **_forget that!" The red-haired girl rubbed her womanhood over his face and closed her eyes, biting her lip as a sigh escaped her mouth. It was thrilling, though not an entirely sexual thrill. She felt in charge and empowered. She felt _good _. "Oh, you're nothing but a little girl, Dummchen (silly). Yeah… lick me! That's it… mmm good…"

Despite his anger and shame at the situation, the third child's burning hormones were forcing him to respond as his tongue snaked out to taste the girl above him. _'Oh man… I can't be doing this! Rei-chan… I'm so sorry.' _

The German girl growled, noticing the boy's faraway gaze and realizing that he was thinking about Rei. "Stop thinking about Wonder Girl, you little shit! It's _**my **_pussy in your face, now lick it and lick it good! Make me moisten your whole face with my sweetness, then go home and see if your little doll wants to play with you." Asuka laughed as she reached down to grip the boy's hair to pull him more firmly against her sex.

Shinji growled in anger and before he knew what he was doing he had thrown the girl off of him then he was on top of her and strangling her. "You little bitch! Don't you ever fucking talk about Rei-chan like that again! She is _not _a doll! _You're _the doll! You're nothing unless you're being looked at and played with! You're _nothing _! You hear me! **_Nothing _**!"

The second child was struggling vainly, but the rage that so rarely touched the boy's psyche was making him much stronger than she was. Moments ago she felt on top of the world and now she was humiliated… and possibly dying. _'Misato-san… where the hell are you! I think I've gotten in over my head here… shut **up **mother! Now is **not **the time to laugh at me!' _

The blue-eyed girl slammed her fists into the boy repeatedly but he kept choking her even harder. She was losing consciousness now. _'Oh crap, he's actually going to kill me! Wonder Girl… looks like you won after all.' _"Suma." Asuka whispered. It was informal, but it was the best apology her pride allowed her, even now.

Shinji stopped strangling her and backed away, feeling sick as the adrenaline dissipated from his bloodstream. "Oh god… I'm so sorry, Soryu-sama! I'm nothing but an insignificant wretch…"

The second child interrupted him before he could finish. "Get out. Take your crap and leave. No one treats Asuka Langley Soryu like that! You can take your apologies and shove them straight up your ass, you piece of trash!"

Shinji lowered his gaze in shame and gathered up his things and walked out. _'I get raped and I'm the one who ends up apologizing? I hate myself.'_

_

* * *

_

Gendo frowned. He was in his private office. The VERY private office that no other living person other than Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki knew about. The one that had monitors scattered all over it. He had brought up Misato's home and Rei's apartment on the two monitors in front of him and frowned at what he was witnessing. The first child had made a call and then had fallen asleep, though she had not called _him _. She had not even called to tell him that she was checking out of the hospital.

He had gone there last night without checking his monitors and was inwardly outraged to find her gone, though his face as always remained a stoic mask. Now he had just watched pilot Soryu rape his son and nearly pay for it with her life. By the sight of him slinking off, he knew the boy felt guilty for strangling her. "After the 17 th angel, you will know how humiliating it is to be raped." Gendo vowed with his best evil voice. It would have sent chills up the devil's spine.

He contemplated calling Rei and demanding to see her, but that could wait. Until the 17 th angel was dead, the third impact could not happen. The commander laced his fingers in front of his mouth as his gaze was captured by another monitor, that of Kaji Ryoji. The spy had just happened upon a piece of information that he was not supposed to know about. More than likely he would report it to either SEELE or the Japanese government in person and see what their orders were after that. He couldn't let that happen. Normally he'd take care of the situation personally, but after what he had just witnessed happen to his son, he was feeling particularly malevolent.

Ikari picked up his special red phone and called Major Katsuragi. He knew she was romantically involved with the spy, and that would make this so much sweeter. He would have to have a long evil laugh after she had done the heinous deed. "Katsuragi-shousa. I have discovered that Kaji is a double agent… possibly even a triple agent. He poses a very real risk to the security of NERV and must be eliminated. I am assigning this task to you." He knew that the spy had informed the purple-haired beauty that he already knew of the man's career in espionage, but even if she asked him what he found to make Gendo want to terminate his life, he knew the woman wouldn't comprehend the significance of the information. So mostly, it was a test of loyalty.

"But… but commander… he's my…….… yes sir. It will be done before the night is over." Came the despondent reply from Misato.

"I know." Commander Ikari stated coldly before hanging up. He let a short chuckle escape since no one was around to witness his display of emotion before watching the monitors again. _'If only I could get someone to assassinate those old SEELE bastards…' _He thought wistfully.

Gendo could see that Misato was crying and rocking herself on one of his many monitors so he watched the display of emotion with interest. He got a perverse pleasure out of things like this, though he wasn't entirely happy that Misato was the one he was inflicting torture on. He had hoped that the major would make a man out of his son, but so far she hadn't so much as flashed the boy.

He had arranged for the second child to stay there as well, assuming that two females in the house would double the boy's chances of becoming more experienced and confident, but instead it had the opposite effect. He had lost all hope for his son until he had shown his interest in Pilot Ayanami. He wasn't very happy with the boy's choice, but anything to give the kid a backbone. Assuming the third impact hadn't occurred by then, of course.

Ikari cleaned his glasses then walked out of his office, taking the private hidden elevator into his 'real' office. There were things to be done and he didn't think he had a whole lot of time to do them.


	5. I’m a Mess

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

**Chapter 5: I'm a Mess **

Shinji stepped through the door into Rei's apartment carrying a bag full of groceries. "I'm home." The boy said softly, in case Rei was still sleeping.

"Yes, I can see that." The red-eyed girl replied from where she was sitting up in the bed.

The third child blushed and nodded as he set the bag he was holding on the kitchen counter. He winced in sympathy when he saw Rei's arm clutching at her cracked ribs. "The rest of the groceries will be delivered in the early evening. I was surprised to find that there is hardly anyone left in the city! Apparently most of the people moved out temporarily after your Eva unit self-imploded. Can you believe that? They were ok with fourteen angel attacks but the moment your Eva blows up, they leave. Though, it did damage a fair portion of the surrounding area." The blue-eyed boy paused to smile over at the blue-haired angel. "Are you hungry? I brought lunch with me and there's enough in here for dinner as well as some drinks in case the delivery is after we want dinner."

Rei nodded silently.

Shinji waited a few moments then realized the nod was in answer to his question about whether she was hungry. He pulled out a plastic bag that had two submarine sandwiches. He hadn't felt like cooking after what happened with Asuka. He needed time to decompress or he's go nuts. He wasn't sure why he was being overly cheerful but he figured he was putting on an act until he could curl up and cry somewhere private. "I didn't know what all you liked so I just asked for a veggie sub with everything on it. If there's something you don't like, you can pick it off. Do you want to eat where you are or would you like me to bring the chair to your end table? I wish you had a real table… maybe I should have one delivered?"

Rei motioned with her arm for help up. "I have to use the toilet." She stated softly. _'Why is he talking so fast? He is strange.' _She wondered.

The third child set the sandwiches down and rushed over to her and knelt down so her good arm was slung over his shoulder. He grabbed her opposite hip and brought her up to her feet. One thing that made this so easy was that they still synchronized their movements so well. They silently made their way into the wash room and Shinji helped sit her down on the toilet. "Are you ok?" He asked, about to walk out to give her privacy.

The first child grimaced in pain when she sat up a bit to pull her shorts down and paled even more than usual from agony when she tried to pull them and her panties down with her one arm. "Shinji-kun…" She gasped.

"Ssh… I've got it." The young Ikari said with unusual tenderness, kneeling down to help her with her problem. He leaned forward to help pull her shirt up a bit more since the bottom of it was still caught under her hips then took a step back. "I'll be right outside. Let me know when you're done."

Rei nodded and went about her business, sighing in relief and nearly crossing her eyes. _'I cannot believe I held it for that long. I exhausted myself trying to get up on my own. I had thought I would be feeling better after some sleep but I should have used the toilet **before **Shinji left.' _She reached over to the tissue paper and cleaned herself, though it made pain lance through her side. She didn't want to have to argue with Shinji to try to get him to do it for her. He had some strange problem with touching her there, even for sanitary purposes. "I am done, Shinji-kun." She said softly. She waited for nearly two minutes and frowned and thought _'I hate repeating myself.' _" **I am finished, Shinji! **" She yelled, gasping from the exertion.

Shinji rushed in and silently helped her straighten her clothes back out. "You shouldn't yell so loud, Rei-san. You'll hurt yourself."

Rei grit her teeth but didn't allow herself to express her anger. "I called for you and you did not hear me. Do not close the door next time."

Shinji blushed slightly. "Oh, sorry Ayanami."

The girl's red eyes narrowed a bit. "Ayanami? Are you going formal on me again, Shinji-kun?"

Shinji looked confused for a moment but didn't reply. He helped her back to her bed which had the only surface large enough for them both to eat comfortably. "You don't mind a sandwich, do you?" He asked.

"I do not think I have ever had one before." Rei replied, eyeing the two sandwiches. "Which one is mine?"

"Take your pick. One is wheat bread and the other is rye." The third child replied.

"But which one does not have meat on it?" The blue-haired girl inquired as she thought _'He can be so dense at times.' _

"Neither of them. They're both made the same way. The only difference is the bread used." Shinji answered, waiting patiently for her to choose. He unrolled them both so she could see them. "Which one would you prefer?"

Rei looked back and forth between the sandwiches. "I have never had either bread. I do not know the difference between the two. And I am not sure if I can eat the whole thing."

Shinji snapped his fingers which garnered the girl's attention and she watched him retrieve a knife from one of her drawers and cut both sandwiches in half. "We'll split them so you can try both breads. Next time you'll know which you prefer. Of course, they have other types of bread as well. It's a fairly cheap but filling lunch. Now, what would you like to drink? I got some apple juice, some cranberry juice, some tea, some…"

"Water, please." The first child requested, taking half of the rye sub since it was closer to her good hand.

The blue-eyed boy sighed. _'I buy all these fruit juices, most of which I've never even had because they're so expensive, and she wants water. Just my luck.' _He filled a glass of water and handed it to her and poured some apple juice for himself. "Do you need help holding that? You look a little… hesitant."

"I'm trying to figure out what all is on it and how much of it I recognize." The first child replied. The dark-haired boy chuckled dryly and lifted the top half of the sandwich and pointed out and named all the toppings. Rei frowned at the cheese. "Cheese comes from animals, Shinji-kun." She reached for it to pull it off, which would pull all the toppings off.

"It's vegetarian cheese. Not real cheese. I have no idea what it's made out of but they insisted that it doesn't come out of any animals. If you don't like it or would rather not try it I'll pull it off carefully so all the toppings don't fall out." Shinji said softly. _'I really don't want to know how they made cheese without milk.' _

Rei frowned and nibbled at the edge of the cheese and chewed it and seemed to pause for nearly a minute before she swallowed. "It is mostly soy, I think. It is agreeable."

They ate in silence for several minutes and the third child wasn't surprised to see Rei reach for the wheat sub. Despite her thin frame she had barely eaten anything for nearly a day except for the soup that morning. After they finished the meal, the third child helped cleared the bed off and helped her to shift around to a more comfortable position. "Rei-san, you seem… weaker than you were this morning." The blue-eyed boy observed, growing a bit worried.

"I suppose I am. I'm getting better, however." Ayanami replied softly. As she leaned back against the pillows to get comfortable, a brief glimpse of her stomach showed, revealing an ugly looking bruise.

"Rei!" Shinji cried, earning a blink from the girl. "Um… can you lift up your shirt please?"

The first child stared at him blankly for a moment and then lifted her shirt up with her uninjured arm, nearly sliding it off. Though they were in plain sight, the blue-eyed boy wasn't looking at her pert breasts, he was looking at the large… make that huge bruise on her abdomen. "Is something the matter with my chest?" Rei inquired.

The third child shook his head. "No, with your stomach... there's a huge bruise on it that wasn't there this morning. Rei… you could have internal bleeding! I think we should get you back to the hospital."

" **No! **" Rei cried, which made her cough. Had she allowed herself to, she would have looked sheepish for her outburst. "Um, I do not want to go back. Besides, now that I know it is there I know why I am not healing faster. Trust me, the bleeding has stopped. The bruise will fade."

Shinji gave her an odd look. "Are you _sure _? I don't want to risk your life if you're not absolutely certain."

"I am certain, Shinji-kun." The first child replied. "I do _not _lie."

"I didn't… never mind. Ok. You should rest some more. I'm going to take a shower." The blue-eyed boy said, walking towards the bathroom before he paused. "Do you need anything before I bathe?"

"I am fine. I did not sleep very much while you were gone. I will take the chance now to remedy that." Rei replied in a monotone with her eyes closed.

Shinji started to close the door behind him then stopped himself, even though it embarrassed him to have it open. "Call if you need anything, Rei-san. I'll leave the door open so you don't have to raise your voice."

The young Ikari stepped into the shower, not waiting for a reply for her knew her well enough to know he wouldn't receive one. It didn't bother him as much as it use to. He turned the shower on and stepped in after the water had warmed a bit. He scrubbed his face, making sure that there was no more of Asuka's… residue left on him. He kept scrubbing, feeling dirtier than even that morning when he had the dried and ripened LCL all over him. He slumped down into the corner of the shower and started to cry, oblivious to the water raining down on his body.

Rei's eyes opened and squinted slightly in confusion. _'What is this feeling? Is it mine? I feel… sad? No… I do not know the word for it. Wait… is Shinji crying? Perhaps that is what I am feeling.' _The first child listened for several minutes and found that she was curious at what was causing the third child's grief but knew it wasn't her place to ask. Therefore she closed her eyes again and concentrated on resting and letting her ribs heal.

A while later the girl's crimson eyes opened again and a frown formed on her lips as she tried to determine what had awoken her. Then she heard the sound again… a knock. Rei straightened up and winced. Her ribs were still pretty bruised, though her enhanced healing had taken care of the worst of the fractures.

The blue-haired girl looked around and wondered where the third child was. "Shinji-kun?" She called in a soft voice. _'Is that… the shower running?' _She glanced at the clock and was shocked to see it was early evening. _'Is he taking another shower? Or… no. He could not still be in the shower from this afternoon…' _She wondered.

" **Shinji-kun **!" The first child called, gasping in pain from yelling. She waited several moments then groaned. _'Why is he not coming out? Someone is at the door, likely with the groceries.' _"Come in!" She called towards the door with a gasp of pain.

A moment later the door slid open slowly and an older gentleman peeked in. "Grocery delivery for Ayanami-san?"

Rei nodded. "I am injured. Could you please bring them inside and place them upon the counter?"

"Of course!" The man replied, smiling. He pulled a large cart in behind him and started placing the bags on the counters and floor. He came into the bedroom area when he was done and gave the girl a concerned look. "Are you ok? Do you need anything else? I could arrange to have some medicine sent over."

Rei shook her head. "I am fine, thank you. But, could you check on my caretaker in the bathroom? I have been asleep but it is possible that he has been in the shower for seven hours now."

The man frowned and walked back into the kitchen area and opened the sliding door leading to the wash area. A moment later he knocked on the door without looking in and waited for a few moments before peeking in to the bathroom. "Oh my god!" He cried as he rushed into the bathroom.

The first child stared at the bathroom door. She was scared, though she didn't show it. She was dreading to know what happened, but she had to know. "What is it? Is he ok?"

The man carried a naked Shinji out of the wash room and looked around. "Is there someplace I can set him? He's freezing."

Rei grimaced and slid out of the bed, momentarily losing her balance and crying out in pain when she stumbled against the wall and into her injured arm. "On the bed." She gasped out, bending over at the waist and clenching her eyes together in agony. _'I must… block the pain out… must not show… weakness. Ooooh this hurts!' _

The man set Shinji down and looked at her worriedly. "Are you ok, ma'am?" At the girl's insistent nod he turned his attention to the third child. "Be right back." The man hurried into the kitchen and looked through the bags there until he found what he was looking for. A box of bandages. He grabbed a pair of scissors that was hanging from a nail over the sink and rushed back and cut some bandages and wrapped them around Shinji's right wrist and forearm. "I don't think he did any permanent damage but perhaps I should get some medics to come check him out?"

The red-eyed girl frowned. "What? Why? What is wrong with him?"

"He's got a mess of cuts on his arm. There was a razor blade next to him. I think he tried to kill himself." He replied.

Rei gasped, in spite of her normally stoic nature and moved forward. "Let me see!" She whispered, reaching for the bandages and wincing in pain.

"Whoa there… hold on. If you must look, let me unroll the bandages. The cold water made the wounds quit bleeding but we don't want them to reopen." The deliveryman slowly unwound the bandages and turned Shinji's arm so that the first child could see the multiple slashes on his arm.

The blue-haired girl frowned. "He was not trying to kill himself. All the cuts are superficial and width-wise, not length-wise. He would have slashed his ankle or perhaps his thigh if that was truly his intention." In her own private thoughts, she continued. _'I should know… I researched the best ways to commit suicide. It seems like ages ago… but it wasn't all that long ago, really.' _

"Doesn't look like he was thinking too rationally there, little girl." The man stated skeptically.

The first child scowled at him, though the expression was just a slight down-turning of the corners of her mouth. "I can see that. But I surmise that he was seeking a release of endorphins or perhaps he was just seeking sensation or pain. He was _not _trying to kill himself."

The man shrugged. "So, should I call a medic?"

"That will not be necessary. He will be fine in the morning. Thank you for your assistance, sir." Rei replied, her stoic mask returned. _'Why did you do this, Shinji?' _

The man hesitated for a few moments but a cold stare from the first child made him decide it was time to head home. "I'll send the bill to the usual place." The deliveryman stated.

Rei didn't respond, ignoring him as he left. _'Has that man delivered here before? I guess I never bothered to remember him.' _

The first child frowned and chewed her lip thoughtfully. She still needed rest but Shinji was curled up on her bed now, still shivering despite the covers drawn over him. She _would _sleep in the bed that was meant for the third child, but she hadn't been able to reach anybody for a delivery. She now realized that it was because so many people had left the city of Tokyo-3 . "This will complicate matters." She stated quietly to herself.

The red-eyed girl walked slowly into the kitchen and found a microwavable vegetarian bowl that she could prepare for dinner since Shinji was in no shape to cook for her and she didn't know how to make anything more complicated than instant noodles. She ate quietly and tried some of the apple juice that Shinji had opened earlier then yawned as she felt fatigued again.

Rei made her way back into the bedroom and frowned down at the blue-eyed boy for a few moments and then decided that she could fit on the bed as well and hoped that Shinji didn't roll over and hit her with his arm. She tossed her clothes on the floor and wondered how she had been able to sleep in them earlier as she lay on her back next to the slumbering Ikari. She stared up at the ceiling for a little while then let her eyes close as she drifted off to sleep once more.

* * *

Kaji opened his door and peered out carefully to see who was visiting him at such a late hour. "Misa-chan?" He asked in surprise. She looked quite upset. He opened his arms expecting her to rush into them, but instead she brought a gun up and leveled it at his head. The spy blinked in surprise then backed away slowly. "I see…" He said softly.

"I've been ordered to kill you for being a spy, Kaji." Major Katsuragi pronounced in a hoarse whisper.

Kaji grinned, despite the gun that was pointing at him. "I must say, I'm surprised that it's you, Misa-chan. But, perhaps that is for the best. The last face I'll see will be a friendly one."

Misato's eyes twitched as tears began falling from them. She wanted to ask why, but she knew the answer to that. She wasn't that naïve. The commander had already known of the man's 'extracurricular activities', so obviously he had either outlived his usefulness to NERV, or he had stumbled upon something he wasn't supposed to. Either way… "So I guess there's no choice." She stated in a choked whisper.

Kaji shrugged and sat down on his bed and leaned back casually. "I guess that's up to you, Misa-chan."

The major's teeth clenched. "Stop calling me that, you bastard! I have to kill you and you're acting like this is a date or something?"

Kaji chuckled softly. "A date with destiny, I suppose. Well, pull the trigger if you must. I forgive you, Misa-chan. Perhaps you'll even be able to muster up a smile? That would make this worth it."

Misato burst into tears and her arm dropped limply at her side. "Is there any alternative?"

The triple agent shook his head in bemusement. "I don't know. Is there?"

The major clenched her teeth and brought the gun up and stared down the barrel at Ryoji's loving gaze. "Aren't you at least angry that I'm the one who was sent to kill you?" She demanded.

"I'm not the one who will have to live with it. I fully expected to die. I am not afraid. As I said before, I'm actually glad it's you. You can either make it quick or slow, it's your choice. If you choose to make it slow, I'd appreciate it if you held me until I passed. I can't think of a better way to go than cradled against your heaving bosom." He stated in a loving and sultry tone.

Misato grimaced and lowered the gun. "You're making this harder on me. Do you have any beer?"

Kaji shook his head. "Sorry. I would have bought some if I had known you were coming."

The major sighed and holstered her gun. "I think it's time I quit drinking anyway." She stated, though a moment later she thought, _'Well that's just crazy talk!' _

Kaji couldn't suppress the laugh that issued forth. "You'll quit drinking when you're in the ground, Misa-chan."

She smirked and walked forward and knelt down to wrap her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. "I just want to hold you for a while."

Kaji glanced down at the gun. He could have reached down, taken the gun, shot her in the leg, and ran off to freedom. He could have just pushed her away and taken off and hoped she didn't shoot him in the back. But he wasn't going to do any of those things. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair.

She looked up at him with tear-stained eyes. "Make love to me as if it were our last time."

Neither of them wanted to say that it _would _be the last time, so he simply nodded and they slowly undressed each other, taking their time. They moved over and against each other in slow gentle movements, using the chance to be close and not worrying about climaxing. They fell asleep in each other's arms, Misato's tears still falling even in her sleep. The hole that seemed to be a permanent pit of despair in her heart was still unfilled.

* * *

Ritsuko checked her readings on the Magi system again and poked her head out of Caspar's casing. "Are you still picking up a low level blue pattern from inside the city?" Dr. Akagi asked, using the sleeve of her lab coat to wipe the sweat from her brow.

Lt. Maya Ibuki checked and double-checked her readings before replying. "Hai, sempai! It's barely registering, but it's there. Is it possible that the 17 th angel is here already?"

Ritsuko shook her head and frowned in thought. "No, I doubt it. There must be some interference. Can you get a fix on its location?"

Maya shook her head. "It's too weak. But… I think it may be coming from the developmental district."

The doctor stood up and walked over to look over Maya's shoulder at the readings she was looking at. Maya glanced up at the doctor for a moment with a bit more than admiration then quickly turned back to her work before Dr. Akagi noticed the look. "I think it's just residual radiation from the 16 th angel. I'll send some NERV units out to scout the area, just in case though. Good job on noticing it, Maya-chan." Ritsuko lay her hand on the girl's shoulder for a moment before she walked back over to Caspar to close the casing up and lower it back down, taking the sigh as one of happiness from being praised. _'It's probably Rei using a low amount of her S-2 organ capacity to heal herself more quickly. I'll have to contact her and tell her to tone it down or she'll set the MAGI off. Wouldn't that just be great to get the whole city in a panic over an angel that won't attack, all because Ikari's little doll has a booboo?' _

"Thank you, sempai!" The cute lieutenant breathed, smiling at the doctor.

Dr. Akagi sipped some coffee and retuned the smile as an afterthought, looking at a clipboard before turning her gaze up at Units 01 and 02. "After Pilot Ayanami recovers, perhaps we should see if she can synchronize with Unit 02. I'm not sure if we want to place our trust in Soryu's abilities without a backup. It's too bad Unit 00 couldn't be easily salvaged. They're placing what's left of it into a regeneration tank to see if they can heal the biological components, but it'll probably take several months. And it would take at least that long to get all the replacement mechanical parts and armor plating… I doubt the next angel will twiddle it's metaphorical thumbs waiting for us to get ready."

"At least there's only one more angel, sempai. Then this will all be over." Maya observed, turning in her chair to look at the doctor.

The blond doctor nodded absently. "That may be a mixed blessing. These past few angels have been nearly unimaginably powerful. If this last one follows the same pattern, it may be able to destroy us without even getting close enough for us to do anything about it. We don't even have the Lance of Longinus anymore, if it attacks from orbit."

Lt. Ibuki chewed her lip nervously, considering that. "We should hope for the best and prepare for the worst, right sempai?"

Ritsuko smiled and nodded. "Correct." Maya looked like she was mentally debating whether to say something, so the doctor finally asked, "What's on your mind, Maya-chan?" The last time she had used san instead of chan, the girl had silently cried for an hour. Ritsuko had said it without thinking about the fact that it was insulting to call a close friend 'san' but it had been unintentional. Well, it hadn't really been accidental. She just thought it had been unprofessional to use such an endearing tone while in Central Dogma with Commander Ikari observing them. However, she would not make that mistake again. She found it rather upset her to see her young protégé cry.

The young lieutenant took a deep breath and asked a question that had plagued her mind for weeks. Well, one of the questions, at any rate. "Why isn't there going to be an 18 th angel attack, sempai?"

Dr. Akagi was shocked at the question. _'I underestimated her. I am impressed.' _She thought before replying aloud, "Well… the dead sea scrolls only predicted 17…"

"I have heard the term 'The eighteenth angel' before, sempai. Surely it's related. It came from somewhere, am I mistaken?" Maya pressed.

Ritsuko felt like laughing. "Yes, you are right. There has been an eighteenth angel mentioned."

"Is it… Lucifer?" Lt. Ibuki asked in a near whisper.

The doctor closed her eyes for a moment and smiled. "No, Maya-chan. Not in the way you mean. The eighteenth angel is man, or will come from man. That part is unclear. But we do not think it will be an attack in the sense that the other 17 will come. But, for all intents and purposes there are only 17 angels. No mention of the 18 th is to leave this room, am I clear?"

"Hai, sempai! Of course. I was just curious. I didn't doubt you or Commander Ikari or anyone else, I just…" Maya stammered.

"I know. If you weren't so curious and eager to learn, I never would have taken you under my wing. I'm proud of you for being so astute, Maya-chan. Your shift is over in a few minutes, right? Would you like to have a meal with me? I need to unwind a bit." Ritsuko was about to add some more to her question but the bright smile on the younger lady's face made her pause there.

"Hai, sempai! I would love to! I mean… um… I would be honored." Maya blushed and turned away, finishing up the last of her work.

A few minutes later Shigeru strolled in and waved nonchalantly as he took his post after grabbing a cup of coffee. "Good evening, ladies. Is there anything I should know other than what is listed in your official shift report?" He asked as he stretched and yawned.

He was updated on the strange low level blue light signature and a few other minor details from Maya's shift before the doctor and the lieutenant took their leave. Shigeru yawned and stared blankly at the controls for a while. "Another boring grave shift. I wish I could bring my guitar."


	6. Tame From Fear And Numb From Sleep I Wak...

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Well I decided against any revisions. The main thing I was wanting to do was decide on where I wanted to go with Gendo (and to a lesser degree Fuyutsuki) and I came to a decision and no revision was necessary. So, if you don't like it, too bad. If you decide not to keep reading this fic, that is your choice. I think this will end up being a rather good story, though I'm a bit biased and more honest than humble. So, sorry for all the confusion and the worry, but the story continues!

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 6: Tame From Fear And Numb From Sleep I Wake

"Baka! Can't you do anything right?!" Asuka yelled, glaring over at Shinji. The third child, however, listened to his music and moved on the sync pads, waiting for the second child to synchronize with his movements. "Bastard! Answer me! Take off those damn headphones!"

Shinji sighed and slipped the earpieces down and cast a pleading glance at Major Katsuragi and the children that were sitting around a card table watching the efforts of the pilots. Misato caught the look and frowned at the red-haired pilot. "Are you even attempting to move the same way he does, Asuka-chan?"

The pilot of Unit 02 clenched her hands into fists and glared defiantly at the major. "I can't lower myself to this baka's level! He's the one not syncing!"

Misato frowned and looked at the pilot of Unit 00. "Rei, give it a try."

"Hai, Katsuragi-shousa." The blue haired girl replied, immediately standing and moving to the sync pads that Asuka had abandoned moments ago. She placed headphones over her ears and turned on the same song that Shinji was playing and without looking at each other they moved as one.

Asuka stared at both pilots in awe, her gaze moving quickly from one to the other waiting for the slightest imprecise move on their part, but it didn't happen. "It can't be. Get off of that pad, Wonder Girl! If you can do it, so can I!" Asuka stated proudly.

Rei lifted her gaze up at the major, ignoring the second child and waiting for confirmation. Misato scratched her head, not having expected the first and third child to be so… in tune with each other. "Leave her be, Asuka. You're sitting this mission out."

Asuka spun and stared at the major in shock. "Nani?! How dare you! I started this mission and I'll damn well finish this Scheiße!"

"You are hereby ordered to stand down from this mission, Pilot Soryu. Please leave it at that." The major replied. "And if you ever question my authority like that again you'll spend a week in a NERV detention cell, do I make myself clear, pilot?"

Asuka glared at Rei who simply looked back with no expression on her face. She advanced suddenly and struck out, slapping the girl across the face. "That's for taking my mission, ko musume!" She stomped off out the door, slamming it shut behind her. Rei simply stood where she was, straightening her posture after the initial shock of the blow retreated. Whether she resisted the urge to rub her stinging cheek or simply wasn't as sore as the force of the blow would suggest, no one but Ayanami knew.

"I better talk to her." Hikari stated reluctantly, shuffling to door and exiting without another word. Moments later they heard the retreating voice of the second child screaming about how she was surrounded by idiots and glory-hounds.

"Well uh… perhaps we should get going, Touji." Kensuke suggested nervously.

Touji sighed. "Yeah, yeah. That girl needs an anger management class or something. Catch ya later, Shin-man!" He and Aida left with a wave and a not so covert leer at Misato before they left.

Rei started leaving as well without saying anything when the major stopped her. "Rei! Wait. It's good that you two are so in sync already, but you need to continue to move as one to guarantee victory on the battlefield. Would you mind staying here until the Angel regenerates and attacks again so you can continue being in sync with Shinji-kun?"

Rei stared at the major silently for a few moments before replying. "If you order me to stay here and continue synchronizing my movements with Ikari-san's, then I will do so."

Shinji stared at his feet, feeling ashamed that Rei was going to be placed into a situation that she did not want to be in all because of him. Misato, however, felt no such qualms over it. "Then consider it an order, Pilot Ayanami. Please retrieve anything you need from your apartment to stay here for the next six days. Take Shinji-kun with you to retrieve your possessions."

"Hai, Katsuragi-shousa." Rei replied before turning and walking towards the door.

Shinji hurried to catch up and blushed in embarrassment, knowing this was the last thing the girl wanted to do. After they stepped outside, Shinji said, "Gomen, Ayanami." Rei's red eyes fixed on the third child as she waited for him to explain what he was sorry about though her walk forward was barely slowed. Shinji looked down at his feet, imagining an intensity in her glare that wasn't there. "For you having to stay here for the next week. I know you do not wish to live here."

"I will do as I am ordered to do, as will you, Ikari." Rei replied.

"Hai… but I am still sorry." Shinji stated in a soft voice, to which the first child made no reply. Shinji gasped suddenly as he heard the distinctive sound of two bodies colliding and he saw that Asuka had grabbed Rei by the throat and was squeezing for all she was worth with intense hatred oozing out of her gaze. "Asuka?! What are you doing!?" Wait… this didn't happen to us. Where is this memory coming from? Someone... strangled Rei-chan? Shinji desperately tried to grab Asuka off the now little Rei, but his arms passed through her body as if they weren't there. "Rei! NO!" Shinji cried, desperately trying to save the little girl's life, not knowing that it was too late by several years already.

Shinji's eyes snapped open as he felt sweat trickling down his cold skin. "Nani?" Shinji blinked and realized it was dark and he was lying down on something soft, and his arm hurt… a lot. Where am I? There was no bed last night, was there? I couldn't be sleeping on Rei's bed, for where would she sleep? Shinji then realized that something was lying against him. Something warm. Bare skin? Is Rei sleeping next to me… oh my. He expected to get a sudden and violent erection, much to his apprehension and embarrassment, but it never came. Shinji blinked into the darkness and in his mind's eye suddenly saw Asuka attacking him again, then strangling the first child.

Rei woke up when she felt Shinji shifting around and a few moments later his whole body started to vibrate. How… strange. The girl thought before she heard the soft choked sob. Oh… he's crying again. Is this… sorrow? Why is Shinji-kun feeling sorrow? I do not understand it. She remained still for a while but then her bladder started to give her gentle hints so she knew she had to get up. "Shinji-kun?" Rei asked in a near whisper.

Shinji froze for a moment then shot out of the bed so fast that he tripped on the bottom of the bed sheets and landed face first on the cold hard floor. The boy rolled over and rubbed at his face, feeling the warmth of blood but not knowing the source of the flow. "Gomen! Gomen nasai, Ayanami-san! I don't know how I got in your bed, but I swear I didn't touch you!" My butt is colder than it should be… oh no… Shinji looked down and shrieked when he saw that he was naked, and as Rei sat up it was apparent that his guess at her nudeness was correct. She's going to kill me now… what the hell did I do last night!?

"Shinji-kun, I need to use the toilet." Rei stated softly, making no comment on the boy's predicament.

Shinji blushed and covered himself and turned away from the nude former pilot of Unit 00. "Um, let me find something to put on."

Rei glanced down and shook her head. "I will walk on my own, no need. I cannot wait for you to dress youself." Rei stood up and nearly fainted from dizziness but she continued on, no matter how wobbly she was on her feet. Shinji rushed to her, forgetting their bare states as he helped the light-headed girl make it to the wash room. Rei sat down and her eyes drifted shut unbidden, and she was glad she had not lost control before making it to the bathroom. It would have been quite a mess. A smelly mess, at that. Rei groaned and rubbed her temples, unable to keep from just sitting there impassively as the weakness and vertigo assaulted her senses.

Ayanami finished up and started to stand and lost her balance but the third child caught her as gently as he could and helped her walk back to sit on her bed. She felt a strange wetness on her arm and looked at it, noticing that there was a discoloration there. She looked up at Shinji and saw that his arm had started bleeding through the bandages. "You're bleeding, Shinji-kun." She stated without emotion.

The third child narrowed his eyes in confusion and looked down at himself, still ignoring his nude state as he looked at his body curiously. "Where?"

"Your arm. Does it not hurt?" The first child asked.

Unit 01's pilot looked at one arm and then the other, finally noticing the bandages. "Whoa… how did those get there? What happened?"

Rei blinked.

Shinji looked up at her after poking at his wounds. "Rei-san?"

"You inflicted numerous razor cuts on your arm last night in the shower. You were in the shower for seven hours." Rei explained.

Shinji's mouth dropped open in shock.

Rei stared back at Shinji and raised her eyebrow after several minutes. "You don't remember?"

Shinji looked off to the side towards the bathroom and pondered that question. "The last thing I remember was going in there and…" crying my eyes out. "Well, maybe I passed out." The third child unwrapped the bandages and stared at his mutilated arm in horror. "I did this?" A flash of memory came to him then of raking his nails down his arm in an attempt at distracting himself with physical pain to forget the emotional pain, if only for a moment. It hadn't really worked so he figured he must have grabbed the razor and slashed himself and perhaps it had worked because there were a little over a dozen other cuts accompanying the first.

Rei leaned over and held his arm gently and gazed at the wounds with interest. "It's amazing. Every single cut is superficial. Just deep enough to cut skin and capillaries but not deep enough to cut muscle or nerve. Perhaps you should consider becoming a surgeon."

Shinji pulled his arm gently out of Rei's grasp and blushed as he once again noticed their unclothed condition. "I still feel dirty." He stated finally.

"I would like to bathe, Shinji-kun." Rei said in way of reply. 

Whether she was giving him an excuse to bathe again or simply wanted a shower herself did not matter to Shinji as he was just grateful for the chance to have a shower that wouldn't end in a 7 hour cry fest under cold water. The third child briefly wondered if the water had been cold enough to induce hypothermia but then he realized it was a silly thought since he was still healthy. Or am I? Came the unbidden thought.

"Are we going to shower?" Rei asked, fixing the boy with a stoic stare.

Shinji looked over at the clock. 4:47 AM… It's still early. Ow… my stomach hurts. Dinner! I didn't cook dinner last night! "Rei, I'm so sorry, I didn't get to cook dinner last night! You must be so hungry, should we eat first? I'm so pathetic, I can't even take care of you. I am so sorry!" Shinji's words jumbled out all at once, 

"Shower then food." Rei stated simply. She hated feeling dirty and she often showered at least twice a day.

Shinji nodded and so they showered with much less embarrassment on Shinji's part this time around as he was too distracted to get embarrassed about helping Rei bathe. She was able to move around a bit more but she kept getting intense dizzy spells so she finally just leaned against the shower wall and tried not to pass out while the third child washed her. "Orange blossoms." Rei said suddenly, scrunching her nose up slightly.

"You don't like it?" Shinji asked from his kneeling position as he washed the first child's foot.

Rei was quiet for several long moments. "It is… acceptable."

Shinji glanced up and chewed his lip thoughtfully. He couldn't tell whether it was her way of saying she liked it or if she was being polite. "If you'd prefer a different scent, just tell me."

"…" Was Rei's response.

Shinji bit his tongue and wondered if he would ever get accustomed to Rei's succinctness. "Will we be going to school today, Rei-san?" He didn't want the silence to grow uncomfortable so he changed the subject. He wasn't sure why he felt so nervous around the girl as he was normally happy to be silent. It's because I'm feeling ashamed and dirty. Why do I feel this way? Any other guy would have loved to have been in my place yesterday. But there was nothing erotic about it. She was trying to hurt me because… I hurt her first? My head is starting to hurt. He realized that Rei still hadn't responded. "Rei-san?"

"If you want to go to school, we will go to school." Rei replied.

"But are you up for it?" Unit 01's pilot pressed.

"Hai. I will be fine." With your help. Rei replied.

Shinji blushed and tried to think of something to say when he washed some of Rei's more delicate parts. "Rei-san, did you speak with my father about whatever it was he wanted to talk with you about?"

"Iie. Not yet. Do not worry yourself over it, Shinji-kun. When Commander Ikari wants to speak with me, he will speak with me." Rei avowed, almost grimly.

Shinji looked up at her eyes for a long moment then averted his gaze. "As you would have it, Rei-san." He murmured.

Shinji stood and shampooed Rei's hair and rinsed it and waited until she nodded her approval before he rubbed conditioner into her soft blue locks, then proceeded to wash himself after rinsing the conditioner out of his own hair. They finished up the shower and dressed in their school clothes, and Shinji's stomach would no longer allow him to dawdle. "What would you like for breakfast, Rei-chan?"

"Miso soup with tofu." Rei replied.

Shinji nodded and started the soup. As he was facing away from the first child his head lowered and his shoulders slumped and tears forced their way out of his eyes, burning a wet path down his cheeks to drip into the soup unnoticed. He could feel Rei's eyes on him and that just made it worse. "Shinji-kun?" Rei asked in her soft placid voice. Shinji turned his head slightly but didn't respond. "Namida muyo [no need for tears]. Everything will be fine, I am sure."

The third child turned and stared at Ayanami in shock and wonder. It was likely the single most poignant thing the girl had ever said. The tone was flat and simple, but the tenderness that lay behind the mask could still be detected. Shinji knelt down next to her and wrapped his arms around the girl's neck and buried his face in her shoulder and sobbed for several long minutes before pulling back. "I'm so sorry… I will try to be stronger for you, Rei-chan." He held her close again, even though Rei had not moved, her arms still hung limply at her sides.

"Could you please let me go, Shinji? You'll ruin the soup." Was Rei's response.

Shinji reluctantly backed off and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Gomen." He stood up and returned to the soup, feeling better despite how Rei had reacted to his embrace. It's my own fault. I invaded her personal space. I hope I didn't freak her out too much. She just has no idea how much her words meant to me… and how much could she care since never says words of comfort?

They ate silently and took a taxi to the school and Shinji was glad it wasn't the driver he had assaulted. This man seemed familiar with Ayanami as he just waved when they arrived at the school and copied down the fare for the ride. Shinji watched the taxi drive away then walked by the first child as she slowly made her way into the school building. "How come you never pay for anything?" Shinji asked.

"I do not carry money. I have a tab set up and my expenses are paid for by Nerv and Commander Ikari." Rei replied, pausing for a moment as a dizzy spell overcame her. "I think I may be overtaxing my system." She was referring to her careful use of her S2 engine to heal her injuries, though Shinji did not know about it so assumed she meant she was overdoing things.

"Well, you'll be sitting still for a while in class so you can rest. I will sit by you instead of my normal seat." It wasn't a suggestion or a question, but rather a statement made by Unit 01's young pilot.

Rei almost smiled at Shinji's care. "Hai." Was all she replied with. Rei nearly tripped when Shinji stopped suddenly and she resumed walking forward, despite the hold the third child had on her arm. "Shinji-kun?"

She followed his gaze and saw Asuka Langley Soryu glowering at them. After several tense moments she turned and stuck her nose in the air and entered the school. "Suddenly I don't feel like coming to class today." Shinji muttered.

"You wish to return to my apartment?" Rei asked. She didn't care where she was, it was all the same to her.

Shinji shook his head. "I have to face her sometime. Let's go." I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away…

Did something happen between Soryu and Shinji-kun? Rei wondered silently as they entered the school. By the deadly glares that Unit 02's pilot kept casting at them both, Rei assumed she was involved as well. It was an interesting day, to say the least.

**************************

This chapter seemed to drag a bit near the end but it couldn't be helped. Anyway, I appreciate all the urgings I got in both reviews and emails to continue this story. It meant a lot to me. And sorry I freaked you all out with the pause but I had to make a decision with Gendo that could very well have meant I would have had to revise every scene involving him. But, I decided to leave him as he is. So, if you get the impression that he's conflicted on the whole 3rd impact, Rei, and Shinji issues, you're right. But feeling a little guilty about using his "daughter" to bring about 3rd impact doesn't mean he won't go through with it. Or does it? Who knows, other than my subconscious? Hehe. Oh, and I have a few questions after watching Death and Rebirth. 1) Does anyone know how the Lance of Longinus was going to be used to bring about 3rd impact? The SEELE guys said "We cannot use the Lance to bring 3rd impact now" or something to that effect so they said they'd have to use the EVAs instead. Oh and I learned something interesting… if you look at the dummy plugs that are loaded into the production series Evas that tore Unit 02 apart, you can see the word Kaoru on them, so they used extra Kaoru's for their dummy plugs rather than Rei's… which I guess makes sense. So, the only Rei dummy plug that was used that I can think of was the prototype one that made Unit 01 do the whole bash and crunch on Unit 03. Hmm. Oh, and question 2) What would have happened if Kaoru had found Adam instead of Lilith? He said something about how if he messed with Lilith that humanity would come to and end then he let Shinji do the old squeeze on him, but what about if he had found Adam? Anyway… enough questions. Next chapter: Rei recovers. But what does that mean for Shinji? Hint: If you think this is going to be another "So Happy Together", think again. Teehee.


	7. Routine Life Is Calling Me Again

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Wow people really got upset because Rei said "I can't eat that crap." Lol Crap isn't technically a curse word, even if people use it as such at times. It's no worse than saying poop or doodoo. And it makes more sense since the name of the guy who invented the toilet was Crapper (hence why the toilet was called the crapper for so long.) But, that is not how she used it so yes it was a mild curse. She was also in a lot of pain and people tend to get irritable when they're in pain, and I think saying "crap" is a fairly appropriate level of irritability for the stoic Rei. Tra la la… I wish I could read Japanese writing… I downloaded the demo for the GAINAX game Raising Ayanami, but I can only understand every other spoken word and none of the writing. Blah… I should go to Japan for about a year, I'd pick the language back up I'm sure. At least I hope… anyway, on with the story.

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 7: Routine Life Is Calling Me Again

The teacher sighed in exasperation and felt like throwing his chalk at the pilots of the EVAs. There were hardly any students left in the class, in fact there was a grand total of five, three of them being the pilots. The other two were just unlucky students who hadn't gotten out of Tokyo-3 yet. But this wasn't the source of the teacher's frustration. What annoyed him was that Ayanami was staring out the window as usual, Ikari was spending most of his time staring at the back of Ayanami's head, and Soryu kept glaring back at both of them. All in all, it was a bad day to be a teacher. "Class, until the threat to this city is gone, I've decided it's best if I leave as well. There's barely any non-military personnel left anyhow, so there's really no point in me staying." He waited for nearly a minute then sighed, realizing he had been ignored. "ATTENTION!" He shouted.

Four sets of eyes snapped to him immediately and Rei's gaze even slowly turned to regard him curiously. He did not often raise his voice, let alone yell. "Good, that got your attention. Now, as I was saying, class will be canceled after today until the threat to the city is over with. I will be leaving tonight, as most of Tokyo-3's non-military populace has already."

One of the other students raised his hand carefully. The teacher sighed and asked him what he wanted. "Sensei, does this mean that we won't have any homework tonight?"

The teacher sighed and slapped his forehead in exasperation. "Yes, there won't be any more homework until we all return to the city. Any other questions?"

Asuka raised her hand. "Hai, sensei. I have a question. Don't you have confidence in our abilities as pilots? We'll destroy the last angel and you will come to no harm. You and every other person who left Tokyo-3 are fucking cowards. I'm disgusted by it."

Everyone was shocked, especially the teacher. "What… what did you call me?" He asked, hoping his hearing was failing.

"Okubyoumono… feigling… coward… surely you know the word in one of these languages. Or are you stupid as well?" Asuka asked in a feigned innocent tone.

The teacher's face darkened. "I will not stand for this behavior! You will leave this class now, young lady!" He was literally shaking with rage.

Asuka stood up slowly. "Das Lehrerschwein frisst Scheisse! [The pig teacher eats shit]" She taunted and threw her desk over as she walked out tossing a haughty glare at the first and third childs.

"Soryu is very disrespectful." Rei observed quietly.

Shinji nodded carefully. She hates me. She wants to hurt me. Worse, I think she wants to hurt Rei-san as well!

The teacher looked at the rest of the students with a frown. "You all may as well leave as well. Hopefully I'll see you all soon… and perhaps Soryu will have a better attitude."

They all stood up and everyone but Rei bowed politely. "Hai, sensei! Arigato! Ah, sayonara!" Rei simply started walking out, nearly leaving Shinji behind.

"Rei-san! You walked away from me. You shouldn't do that while you're still hurt. You might have tripped or something!" Shinji admonished her.

Rei gave him a curious look then nodded once. They took a taxi back home and had lunch then Rei laid down for a nap. She woke up later to a strange sound. She looked over and saw Shinji cleaning her apartment, a determined and often horrified look on his face. Rei blushed and looked back up at the ceiling. This is the second time he's cleaned my apartment… why does do I feel this way? I do not understand it. Rei sighed and went back to sleep.

*************************

Major Katsuragi left Kaji's apartment and took a deep breath, leaning back against the door. Tears fell from her eyes and she desperately wanted a beer or twelve. She took one last look at the apartment and left, nervously adjusting her gun's holster every so often. She took her time strolling home, for as long as she was in route she could avoid thinking. She was, for lack of a better term, in limbo. But it could not last forever, as her feet eventually led her home. "I'm home!" She called as she stepped in and kicked her shoes off. She trudged straight for the refrigerator and grabbed a six pack of beers and plopped down on the couch and finished the first one off before she even settled back.

She was starting on her second beer when she heard a crash coming from Shinji's room. Strange… normally he's so quiet. I better make sure he's not hurt. Misato sighed and stood up and walked to Shinji's room and knocked on the door. The rustling sounds inside stopped suddenly and it was silent. The major frowned and opened the door, wondering for a moment if she'd catch the boy wanking himself or in a similar compromising situation. "Shinji-kun? Are you… hurt?" Misato stared in horror at the room and saw it had literally been destroyed. Every last one of Shinji's possessions was broken, shattered, or knocked over. Even his futon was torn up and stained. And sitting in the center of the room was Asuka, with an almost feral look in her eyes. "Asuka-chan?! What… what have you done?!"

Asuka laughed and slammed one of Shinji's SDAT tapes into the ground and shattered it into pieces, making the major wince as it had been one of his favorites. "Shinji rejected me. First he took away my glory, then he took away my pride, and now he's taken away the only thing that made it bearable… his affection. He's just like his baka of a father. He cares more about Wonder Girl than me. He deserves to rot in hell." Asuka smiled and motioned to the room. "This was an acceptable alternative."

Misato brought a hand up to her face and took a deep steadying breath. "Asuka... what did the therapist say about all this?"

The second child gave her a blank look.

"You… did see the therapist, ne?" The major asked. Please say yes…

"Nein, Frau. Mein Gehirn ist nicht krank! [No, woman. My brain is not sick!]" Asuka began to giggle uncontrollably.

Misato frowned. "Asuka-chan, come with me. You're going to see the therapist right away."

"Nein, Frau. Ich lehne ab! [I refuse!]" Asuka gave the major a cross look and stood up on shaky legs, trying to look defiant.

"Soryu, you will come with me to the therapist or I will cancel your pilot status and you'll never see Unit 02 again. And you will cease speaking German since I do not understand it very well. Do I make myself clear?" Misato scowled at Asuka, trying to intimidate the girl. This is the last thing I needed today, of all days.

The second child glared at her for several moments then sniffed. "Fine. Take me to the damn doctor. He'll blame everything on my unconscious desire to have sex with my father or some crap like that and I'll leave thinking I'm a worthless piece of Scheiße. So, let's get it over with."

Misato sighed but she didn't cave. They walked to NERV and Misato sat outside in the waiting room while the psychiatrist talked to the second child.

*************************

Shinji sat in the entry plug to Unit 01, taking deep LCL filled breaths and concentrating on becoming one with the Eva. He was thankful that Asuka was not there, as he would have been much more nervous than he already was. As it were, he was already agitated and it was showing. "Ikari, concentrate! Your sync rate is dropping slowly but steadily. What's wrong with you?!" Misato asked from the control room.

"Gomen." Shinji replied automatically. He could hear the irritated hiss over the comm. signal but he ignored it. One more angel, then I never have to pilot Eva again.

"Ok, that's it for today, Shinji-kun." Misato's voice came over the intercom. Shinji felt relieved as he was not in the mood to be in the EVA that day.

"Hai, Katsuragi-shousa." Shinji replied. Moments later, he was out of the entry plug and dripping with LCL. "Ugh… I'll take a quick shower before I head home to wash all this gunk off."

He stripped off the plug suit and tossed it into the wash bin then headed into the showers. As he was washing off, he smiled to himself and thought about visiting a hot springs resort after the last angel was defeated, to celebrate and decompress from his ordeal. Asuka's angry eyes flashed in his mind's eye for a moment which made the boy wince and grab his head. "You'll take me with you, won't you Shinji!?" She demanded in his mind.

The third child shook his head violently and leaned back against the cool shower wall. "I'll see if Misato-san would like to go. And maybe even… Rei-chan." He blushed as he allowed himself the familiar term in the privacy of the wash room.

"Shinji-kun? I came to check up on you. Are you feeling well? You seemed… distracted today." A female's voice sounded right in front of him.

Unit 01's pilot snapped his eyes open and forward and quickly covered himself as best he could as he developed a full body blush. "Ibuki-san!? What… what are you doing in the men's washroom!?"

Maya grinned and looked him over. "Oh, are you asking me to leave, Shinji-kun? I thought perhaps some company would make you feel better. More… relaxed?" 

Shinji's mind was shocked into silence. Had he been thinking, he would have been caught between the conflicting desire to run and stay. "Nani?"

Maya stripped off her uniform slowly, teasingly, and then stepped into the shower stall. "Surely you've figured it out by now, Shinji-kun…" She grinned and kissed him. 

Shinji didn't move, paralyzed by shock. The shock was quickly replaced by desire when the girl's kisses trailed down his chest and stomach however. "I.. Ibuki-chuui?!" She's not about to…

"Maya-chan, please, Shinji-kun." The lieutenant corrected playfully before she took him into her mouth.

"MAYA-CHAN!" Shinji shouted, nearly fainting from the sensation. This… this can't be real, can it!? I always thought she was cute, but… oh my! I mustn't run away… please god don't let me run away! His fingers stroked through the girl's short hair nervously and he was gasping for breath. Occasionally he'd see Asuka in his mind's eye looking at him with disapproval or anger, but mostly he just saw Maya's head bobbing up and down. He opened his eyes again when the sensation changed and he was surprised to find himself kneeling over a nude Rei, making love to her. "What?! This… this doesn't feel like… my dream…"

Shinji's eyes snapped open and he sat up, in a cold sweat. He shivered and turned to look at the sleeping Rei, who except for the occasional twitch or slight shift in position, remained absolutely still. I… I thought perhaps we were sharing a dream like we did a lot while we were doing the sync training all those months ago, but I guess it was my dream. I can't think of Rei-san that way. I have to not think of her that way… Are her eyes open?

"Shinji-kun?" Rei's soft voice called out to him.

"Hai, Rei-san?" He sat up on his knees and leaned over so she didn't have to raise her voice. He could see a flash of disappointment in her eyes but it was gone before he could be sure. I keep seeing that when I say her name now… is it because… does she think of us as friends? Oh my… I'm insulting her every time I say san… "Rei-kun." He corrected. [AN: Yes, often kun is used for adolescent boys and would suggest maleness but it doesn't always. It is also used between close friends since san is insulting for that relationship, but it is not quite as informal as chan which is normally reserved for children, especially girls, and between dating couples. Chan can also be used as an insult, say if one man said it to another man it would be like calling him a little girl. Just wanted to clear that up so I don't get reviews saying "Rei isn't a boy you baka!"]

Well, that's a little better. "Did I wake you?"

Shinji blinked in surprise. "Iie, I woke up a few moments ago. I was having a strange dream."

Had it not been so dark, Shinji might have noticed a slight blush in Rei's cheeks. "Ah. Since you are up, would you mind getting me a glass of water?"

"Hai. Right away, Rei-kun." Shinji rushed into the kitchen and got the water.

I had a strange dream, also. First Ibuki-chuui was doing something… rather unusual to me. It was… strangely thrilling. I never knew I could feel that kind of sensation down there… but then… Shinji-kun…  I can't think of him that way, he doesn't feel the same way. "Shinji-kun? We must talk…"

"So ka?" Shinji called from the kitchen, leaning his head back as the water glass filled.

"Hai." She waited until he was heading back into the bedroom so that she wouldn't have to raise her voice. "I am feeling much better now. I can get around on my own. I think it best if you… return to your home with Katsuragi-shousa."

"Chigau! [No way!]" Shinji exclaimed, dropping the glass of water from his shock-numbed fingers. He blushed when Rei winced from the shattering sound. "Gomen…" He knelt down and started gathering up the glass in his bare hands, too upset to think about using a broom and dustpan or even gloves. As a result, he had bloody hands in moments.

"It would be… improper for you to stay here with me when there is no need. And there is very little room. You understand, of course?" Rei asked.

"Rei-kun, I… can't go back to Misato-san's… Asuka and I… we… things are not good between us." He blushed and stared at his bloody hands. Why are my hands bleeding?

Rei suppressed a sigh. "I must speak with your father tomorrow. I trust you will return to Katsuragi-shousa's, or make other arrangements. I do not mind you being here, Shinji-kun, but I feel it is improper. Perhaps if our relationship were different…" She forced herself not to continue that sentence.

Shinji did not pick up on that train of thought. "Ryoukai, Ayanami. [Roger that/Understood]" He replied, sounding very much like he had just been ordered to self-destruct his Eva unit.

Rei sighed softly and leaned back against her pillow. It is for the best, Shinji-kun. Things between you and Soryu couldn't be _that bad._

The third child moved over to sit by the window and stare out of it, Rei's water and his injured hands forgotten. Rei laid back down and fell asleep a while later, hoping that Shinji wasn't too upset.

************************

"Nagisa Kaoru?" A SEELE lieutenant asked, looking up from her clipboard at the young silver-haired boy with red eyes.

"Hai." He responded in a mellow tone.

The lieutenant, a young Hishida Akemi, nodded in response. "I am to inform you that your transfer to NERV has been delayed."

Kaoru frowned. "Understood. May I ask why?"

"I do not have that information. My guess would be that you are unneeded, or unwanted." Akemi replied.

"What are my orders then, Hishida-shoui?" The apparently undesired and unnecessary pilot asked.

"You are to continue your training as well as continuing the Dummy Plug project. Report to Nakahara-taii at 0800 tomorrow." Akemi informed him then left without another word.

Kaoru turned to stare out the window in the relative direction of Tokyo-3. "What is going on out there? My transfer should have gone through no matter their pilot situation. Someone is interfering, and that is unacceptable." He rested his chin on his hand and stared off into space deep in thought. Something didn't feel quite right and he was curious as to what it was.

************************

Asuka gave the psychiatrist a teasing grin. "Könnten sie das bitte auf Deutsch wiederholen?"

Dr. Kagame frowned, knowing the girl was taunting him, but he had to play along for now to get past her defenses later on. Thank goodness I learned German in college to help with my psychology studies. "Ich sagte, ich möchte sie vier Tage in der Woche sehen." He repeated in German.

"Would you please repeat that in English?" She continued her game.

The doctor's frown deepened into a scowl. I don't speak English very well, damn it. I hope this game doesn't continue. German I can handle, but English? "I see you four days week." I hope that was right.

"Four days a week doesn't work for me, doctor. Make it two." She had grown bored with forcing him to speak in non-native languages so she switched back to Japanese.

"You will come here every other day. The only exception is holidays or emergencies such as Angel attacks. If you are sick in the hospital you will contact me and I will come to you and have our session there. Am I understood?" He fixed her with a serious glare.

"Ja selbstverständlich, Herr Doktor Kagame. [Of course/naturally Dr. Kagame.]" She replied with a bored wave of her hand.

"All right then. Come back in two days. For now, wait outside while I speak with the major." He stated.

Asuka's eyes narrowed. "You said everything we talk about in here is confidential. You lied to me?"

"No, I did not lie. I will not divulge what we talk about, but I am obligated to give her status reports. Especially today, your first visit. Your status at NERV is dependant upon it. I will not tell her anything other than your mental state and your progress, I assure you." He replied, hoping she'd trust him. Her recovery was too important to throw away on lack of trust.

"Hmph. Hai, Kagame-dono." She stood up and left without a farewell.

Dr. Kagame rubbed his face and sighed, knowing this was the toughest case he had ever been presented with. Most of his other patients had been over-stressed NERV employees, with the occasional officer who had a crush on his or her superior, or even on an inanimate object. But this one… he looked up as Misato walked in. "Ah, Kitsuragi-shousa. If you would be so kind as to sit?"

"Hai, Kagame-dono. So, what can you tell me about Asuka-chan's condition?" The major asked.

He took a moment to look back over his notes, though it was more of a delay tactic than anything else. "Well, she has issues, as you well know. I believe they stem back to early childhood. She's on the verge of a psychotic break, but I think I may be able to prevent it. It's important that you don't treat her any differently than you did before all these symptoms began to present themselves."

Misato nodded. "And what of her pilot status?"

"Normally I would recommend she be taken off the roster until she's more stable. However, it is obvious that she feels piloting the EVA unit is the only thing in her life she is proud of. In fact, she stated it's the only thing she has left. If we take that away from her, she'll definitely have a psychotic breakdown, with potentially disastrous results. Is there any way to allow her to keep piloting without sending her out? Perhaps just for testing?" He asked.

Misato shook her head. "Unit 00 is destroyed and Unit 01 is now on emergency use only, since we can no longer control it. Her Unit 02 is the only one we can send out in case of an angel attack. If she can't pilot effectively, we'll have to see about getting a replacement."

"I believe she will do just fine. I just hope she doesn't become upset at anyone other than the angel if she gets into it… can one of the other pilots use Unit 02, if it is necessary?" He asked.

Misato frowned in thought. "I don't know. We've cross-tested Ikari and Ayanami, but only Soryu has piloted Unit 02. I'll make sure they are both tested in 02, so we know."

Dr. Kagame nodded. "I will be seeing Soryu every other day. The only exceptions being holidays and emergencies. If necessary I will increase it to every day."

Misato stood up and bowed her head slightly. "Understood. Keep me informed on her progress, please." She walked out with a polite farewell and took Asuka home, hoping the girl would recover.

***********************

Teehee, yes, I am leaving it a mystery as to whether Misato killed Kaji before she left. So, don't bother asking cuz I'm not telling. Perhaps later I will, but not any time soon. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and feel free to review. Next chapter: The fate of Shinji, and "the talk" between Rei and Gendo. [Scary music is cued]


	8. The Dark Night of the Soul

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: As usual, some responses to reviews. First, to Evil Flamer: I don't know what this ACC you're talking about is. I read back over the chapter twice and I still see nothing that could be called ACC. So, if you actually want a response to that you'll need to write it out, please. And as far as honorifics, I have verified this with friends who are native Japanese speakers. It is a trend in anime to only use –kun with young males but it is not the rule. It's an attempt to, to coin a phrase, "cuteify/kawaiify" anime characters by calling all the girls –chan and all the boys –kun, whereas in Japan you would not do this and would be quite offensive if you did.  Now, to Mr/Mrs. Unsigned and Unnamed reviewer: No, I am not Japanese. My ancestry is Welsh and Irish and a bit of French. Take a look at my profile, my pic is in there and I don't look the least bit Japanese. However, I'm very much a child of the world. As I grew up my family moved around a LOT. I've lived in the US, Mexico, Canada, Brazil, Kenya, the UK, France, Germany, Spain, Italy, briefly in Romania and Hungary, Australia, New Zealand, briefly in Russia, and in Japan for approximately a year. Of all those, I speak English most fluently, a good bit of German, and a decent amount of Japanese, which I'm currently relearning. Anyway, this fic is primarily in English language with enough of German thrown in my Asuka (since she IS German) to make her distinctive, and Japanese, like in many anime fics, is used enough so that 1) You don't forget that the characters are speaking Japanese and more importantly 2) When the Japanese word just fits better and is more descriptive than the English can be. For example, ending a sentence in ne? is quite common, it's like saying "Right?" There is also "na?" which is a stronger more masculine form of ne which you wouldn't notice if it was translated into English because in both circumstances the sentence would end in "Right?" but there is a unique feel to a character that uses the stronger more masculine tone. It's more commanding, macho, etc. There are many more times this happens of course, and if you really don't know what a word means and don't want to take the time to look it up, feel free to email me and I'll tell you what it means. If it's a common one like: Nani? So ka? Ne? Baka! Hai! and Iie!, then I don't bother putting a translation, but I usually try to when it's a less common word or phrase such as: Matta ne! (See you later!), gaki (brat), and aihito (love-person/lover). A quick overview of honorifics (since you asked) and a few other important words. The difference between aa and hai is important, for example. Aa means yes and hai is more closely translated as "I agree (with that)". If you are ordered to do something, you reply with hai, like "I will comply with that" and often when asked a question you answer hai to say "I agree with that assessment" but in some cases a basic and simple yes is needed and hai won't do, so aa is used. In English, the only real way to distinguish the two is to turn hai into "I will comply" or "Roger that (though there is another Japanese phrase, ryoukai, that is actually roger [that]).

Honorifics: 

-sama=lord, royalty, noble. Also sometimes used by a wife to refer to her husband or someone who is either being very apologetic (such as saying "This wretch is shamed and humbled and begs your forgiveness, Ikari-sama!" if you really screwed up and Gendo was about to have you killed, for example and you were trying to save your own ass) or submissive (submissive more as in the… kinky connotation hehe). 

-dono=person of title and respect. Doctors, PhDs, possibly lawyers and other high level of education types. It's similar to using Dr. in front of someone's name in English. So Dr. Akagi would be referred to as Akagi-dono.

-san=equivalent to Mr. or Ms./Mrs., it's the general term used to refer to someone who is your equal or slightly above you in station but who does not qualify for the above two honorifics. This term is usually used by people who don't know each other well or have a professional relationship. If you are friends, you do not use –san, as it's equivalent to calling your friend Mr. Adams instead of Tom or Tommy or whatever.

-kun=person of lower station or of friendly relationship, often implies masculinity, but it doesn't mean the person you're referring to is male. Like many romantic languages that have genders for words, this would apply here too. It implies friendship, or that the person you're talking to is of a lesser station than yourself. This is why adults use this term a lot for younger people, as they are older and thus of a higher station. Your boss could call you –kun and get away with it, while the asshole co-worker who just likes being a jerk would be insulting you if he called you this. –kun is often attached to the names of teenage boys, but as I stated before the term can be used for either gender and is also used between friends.

-chan=person who is either very young and lower in station than yourself, or between very close friends (VERY close friends… as in romantic feelings) and is also sometimes used between female friends whether the feelings are romantic or not. A little girl would be called –chan, your girlfriend would be called –chan, and your female friend would be called –chan if you were female as well. If you, however, called a female –chan and you were just a male friend and not a boyfriend, you're likely going to be in trouble unless you were teasing. Especially if she has a boyfriend…

Other honorifics would be titles. –sensei attached to someone's name means they are a teacher of some sort. Either a school teacher, a martial arts instructor, or basically anyone who teaches another.  –sempai means literally senior, and is often used by a younger person who greatly admires an older person and wants to be like them. Maya Ibuki refers to Dr. Akagi as sempai or Akagi-sempai often, and it shows how much Maya respects the doctor and wants to be more like her and learn from her. This relationship is often more like a sibling relationship than a romantic relationship, though it is not unheard of for one of the people, more often the younger, to develop a crush on the other. It should also be noted that in Japan it is not uncommon for someone to so greatly admire another and to have a close enough relationship with them to refer to them as "Big brother/sister" even though they are not related. A common example of this is from Robotech, where Rick Hunter called Roy Fokker "Big Brother" even though they were not related. Most other titles you'll see in this fic are military suffixes. In Japan, you wouldn't say Shousa (major) Katsuragi, you would say Katsuragi-shousa. Just like if you were a teacher you wouldn't say Sensei Ido, you'd say Ido-sensei.   Anyway… gosh this was long. Haha. I hope this clears things up and if there's any more confusion or if I use a word you don't know and don't include a translation, feel free to email me. And this fic doesn't belong in the Japanese language section because it's not in Japanese. If you'll have a look there, there is currently only one Japanese Eva fic, and it's in Japanese writing (Kanji and kana), not in Romanji (Japanese words written in phoenetic English letters). Anyway… blah blah on with the fic before you all fall asleep.

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 8: The Dark Night of the Soul

Shinji walked out onto the Eva gantry and frowned when he saw the entry plug for Unit 02 opened, but Unit 01's was closed. "Katsuragi-shousa?" Shinji called, stepping back and looking up at the control room. "Was I not supposed to go first with the synchronization testing?"

"Hai. Pilot Ikari, you are to test with Unit 02 today. We are doing cross testing again. Given Unit 01's uncontrollable status and Unit 00's destruction, we have to see how all the pilots will sync with Unit 02. Now, please get into the entry plug and ready yourself for sync testing." The major replied into the microphone. From that distance, she couldn't see how pale the first child's face had become.

Shinji's shoulders slumped and he shuffled towards Unit 02's entry plug as if he were walking to his own death. "Ryoukai [Roger that], Katsuragi-shousa." He slid into the LCL and immediately shivered, feeling the slimy liquid surrounding him. And worse, he could feel Asuka's very essence surrounding him. He leaned forward and crossed his arms over his chest and waited as he was lowered into Unit 02. "I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away…" He muttered, though he wasn't quite convincing himself.

"What's that, Shinji-kun?" Maya asked, turning the volume up on the comm. system.

Shinji blushed as he remembered his dream from the night before, though that quickly reminded him that Rei had kicked him out of her apartment upon awakening. After he finished with the sync testing he would have to head back to the major's apartment, as Rei no longer needed nor wanted his presence. "Nothing, Ibuki-chuui. [AN: It's strange… the websites I've looked at have always referred to Maya as being a 2nd Lt. and then they also say that Shigeru and Makoto are 2nd Lieutenants as well, but then they state that Maya is of a higher rank than the other two. The only thing I can figure is that either she is of a higher class (meaning she's been a 2nd Lt. longer) than the other two, or she is actually a 1st Lt. which would make a bit of sense since she is Ritsuko's assistant… so I just changed it to 1st Lt.] It just feels… strange to be in here."

"Oh, don't worry about it, cutie." Maya said softly into the microphone, smiling for a moment before glancing at the others hoping they wouldn't notice her brief lack of professionalism. It had been worth it though, because Shinji's face turned beet red.

"Ikuki-chan, don't tease the pilot." Dr. Akagi deadpanned, and smiled for the briefest of moments when the cute lieutenant turned to give the doctor an apologetic smile, letting her know she had been amused by it as well.

"Hai, Akagi-senpai. Gomen… sync ratio at……….. 23%? And slowly dropping." Maya reported, frowning at the results.

"23%?! He can't even get the Eva moving at that rate. Shinji-kun! Concentrate! It can't be _that much harder to sync with Unit 02 than 01. It's all in your head. Pretend you're in Unit 01." Misato suggested, leaning over the console and looking between the observation window and the monitor showing the inside of the entry plug._

"H… hai, Katsuragi-shousa." Shinji whispered. He took deep breaths, trying not to think about how Asuka's essence was floating in the LCL and that he was inhaling it along with the blood-like liquid. He felt cold and scared, and when he tried to open his mind to Unit 02, he felt the unfamiliar and clammy presence of that Eva. Though he had been inside this unit once before, it wasn't the same as now. He had only tried to keep his thoughts from causing a feedback for Asuka then, now he was trying to become as close to being one as he could with the disturbed pilot's Eva. And it wasn't working very well. He gritted his teeth together when he heard Misato yelling at him again and forced his mind to open, realizing that they weren't going to give up until he was either exhausted or at a decent sync ratio.

"Sync rate rising. 28%... 34%...... 58%! 73%... Oh my, it's still going up. Major, he's approaching Ego border! 96%... still rising!" Maya yelled.

Shinji was shivering, but he couldn't stop it now. He had opened his mind and the presence of the Eva's soul was pushing against his mind. It felt a bit like Asuka, but different. "Oh god…" Shinji grabbed at his head, nearly ripping off the neural interfaces, and screamed in horror.

"Eject entry plug!" Misato and Ritsuko both ordered at the same time.

"Signal rejected!" Shigeru reported.

"It's not working!" Maya cried, frantically hitting keys as she started panicking. "Ego border crossed! 110%... 115! The Eva is taking over!"

"ASUKA YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Shinji suddenly screamed from Unit 02, shocking the control crew.

"What's he doing!?" Misato queried, looking over at Makoto.

"Blue light detected! No… it vanished. What the hell?" Shigeru scratched his head.

"Shinji-kun!" Misato yelled into the microphone, seeing Shinji's body becoming transparent for a few moments. Not again… please not again! "Is the Eva showing any sign of activating? Is it berserking?"

"Negative. Eva is still inactive." Dr. Akagi reported. She frowned at the results. "The MAGI say that Shinji is under psychic assault by Unit 02. It's… it's trying to dominate him."

Shinji started crying, and slumped down and remained immobile. In his mind's eye he saw images of a doll hanging and then a woman next to it. She stared at him with her cold dead eyes and he felt chilled to the core as he saw the resemblance between Asuka and the woman. "Is that… Asuka's mother?"

"Why are you here? You are not She. Where is my precious little doll?" A voice sounded in his head.

"Nani!? Your… doll?" Shinji looked ahead, now in a mental plane that was only reachable in dreams and through the Eva.

"WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER!? You are the one that occupies her thoughts. The one who she wants to possess. Why do you spurn my daughter? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER!?" The lips of the dead hanging woman were moving.

Shinji stared in horror, unconsciously pulling his mind out of contact with the Eva's soul. "Sync rate dropping from 280%... 240… 220… 190…" Maya reported, calming down as the danger was passing… she hoped.

Shinji froze as a red-headed little girl was before him, running towards him with a look of pure joy on her face. "Mommy! They accepted me mommy! I'm going to pilot Eva! Mommy!"

"A…. Asuka?! She's… happy? She's… really happy." Shinji shivered as he realized how strange that was. He paled as the girl ran into the room where the woman was hanging. "Oh shit!" He cried, vomiting into the LCL. He tried not to think about how it was now floating around him in the liquid. He felt a sharp pain shoot through his head and he slumped down unconscious.

"Sync down to 0%, ejection signal accepted!" Lt. Ibuki called, standing up to watch as the plug was ejected.

"Oh thank the gods." Misato sighed and leaned forward onto her hands.

"I would call this experiment a failure, Katsuragi." Commander Ikari's voice came from the comm. system, obviously from his observation deck.

"Hai, commander. Should we try with Rei?" Misato asked in her most respectful tone.

"Negative. Pilot Ayanami has not been cleared for duty. I would suggest you keep Soryu away from Unit 01 as well, until her psychological state has become more… stable." The commander stated.

"Copy that. Sir? What of Shinji-kun?" She asked, though she had a good feeling what his response would be.

"…….. Send him home. Or to the infirmary if he is injured. He will remain on call with Unit 01." Gendo replied, then cut the communication off.

Misato frowned and looked down at the Eva gantry, glad to see that Shinji seemed healthy, though groggy. "He said he's coming home with me today. He won't be too happy when he sees his room…"

**********************

Gendo turned to look at Rei, who was standing before him, still in a few bandages but looking a lot better than just after her Eva had self-detonated. "I trust you have no problems with that, Ayanami?"

Rei's eyes narrowed slightly for a moment, though whether in confusion or anger the commander couldn't tell. "I trust all of your commands, sir."

You're far from unreadable to me, Rei. I'm not sure I like this situation. Your emotions are developing at a rate I do not care for. "Your report then, Rei." Gendo crossed his fingers in front of his face and gaze the girl his most penetrating stare.

"I have recovered sufficiently to care for myself. I have asked Shinji-kun to return to the major's home." Rei replied.

"Why?" Gendo inquired.

"I thought it might be inappropriate for us to continue to share living space when I no longer needed his care." The first child stated, though she hardly sounded convincing.

"Is that the only reason?" The commander queried, leaning forward slightly. Don't lie to me.

"I… am not sure. I think that perhaps my feelings for Pilot Ikari have grown beyond pilot comradery." Rei reported, shuffling her foot a bit and reaching back to clasp her still injured arm with her good hand.

Gendo stared at the girl before him silently for several long moments before he finally spoke. "Explain."

The slight red tint that came to her cheeks was enough of a response for Commander Ikari, but Rei ventured forth as best an explanation as she could. "I am not sure. I do not understand the feelings I have. I… care for him. I worry for his safety more than most, perhaps more than anyone I know, save yourself of course." I do not like voicing my feelings. Don't you know this, commander?

"There is something you are hiding from me. I will not tolerate such behavior." The commander stated, a hard edge in his usually calm and collected voice.

Rei blinked several times and considered those words. Am I hiding something? I do not understand. Oh… I see what he wants to know. "When… before I self-detonated Unit 00, when the angel was merging with it and myself, I believe my soul wanted to be one with Shinji-kun's. I… cared more for his life than my own so I knew I had to do what I did to prevent our merging and ending his life." Rei looked down at her feet, not meeting the commander's eyes. She was uncomfortable with her feelings, and it was worsened by sharing them.

"Are you in love with my son?" Gendo asked, a touch of surprise coloring the tone of his question.

Rei chewed her lip nervously and swayed her hips forward and back slightly, rocking on her heels. Is this love that I am feeling? "I do not know, sir. Perhaps."

The commander was silent in thought for a while, long enough to fray the nerves raw of any normal person. The silence was even beginning to wear at the normally stoic first child as well but she did not show it. She raised her gaze to look the man in the eyes as she awaited his response. She knew he had one and that he was waiting for the right opportunity to share it. "If I command you to cease your fraternization with Pilot Ikari and maintain a strictly professional relationship with him and forget that you ever had feelings for him at all, would you do this?"

Rei was silent for longer than Gendo cared for, but she finally answered. "Hai. I will comply with my orders."

Are you becoming more… defiant? Commander Ikari frowned and reached into his desk and slid a case out. He opened it and drew out a thin object that resembled an ice pick but was sharper and made of a tougher metal alloy. It was used mostly in assassination and could puncture through a skull with sufficient force, especially if it was stabbed through the temple or the base of the neck. "Would you kill Pilot Ikari if I so commanded it?" He slid the case towards her, noting her reaction.

She was clearly distressed, her eyes widening in shock of the question. She shivered for a brief moment and her form tightened, as if she were recoiling from the offending assassination weapon. "Kill Shinji-kun!?" She blurted. She looked up into the commander's eyes and shivered again, seeing the deadly serious expression. His own son… my Shinji-kun… but… I must comply with my orders, even if it kills my heart to do so. I must… "H…. hai, Ikari-shousei. [There seem to be a lot of words that mean commander… this one seems the most appropriate] I will comply with my orders." Please… please don't command me to kill Shinji-kun! I don't want to kill anyone, least of all him.

Gendo nodded. Though he saw the hesitation and the worry in her eyes, he knew she spoke only the truth. Whether it ripped her heart out or not, she would follow orders. One last test, then. "I must know that my orders mean more to you than your own life, Rei. Stab this blade through your hand."

"Nani!? Hai, Ikari-shousei." Rei picked up the weapon with her good hand and looked at her other hand. I can't aim well enough to only pierce skin… I either have to go through the muscle and lose hand strength or go through tendon and lose the ability to move two of my fingers… I can live with weakness. "I will comply, sir." She brought the weapon down and grunted as it slid through flesh and scraped against bone." HOLY MOTHER LILITH THAT HURTS! Rei met the commander's gaze, unable to hide the pain she was in as her eyes watered. "Permission to visit the infirmary, sir?"

Gendo crossed his fingers in front of his face again and stared at the girl as she bled on his desk. "Denied for now. You have more questions to answer. Now, have you had sexual intercourse with my son?"

How can you ask me something like that at a time like this!? My hand feels like it's on fire! "No sir." She gasped out.

"Are you planning on having sexual intercourse with my son?" Was his next question.

"………………………….." Was her reply.

"Will you pursue sexual intercourse with my son?" He realized he had to word the question differently for he had left too many possibilities open.

"No sir." Was her reply. He could see the unasked question 'Can I go now and get my hand fixed before I pass out!?' in her eyes, but he ignored it.

"Come here. Sit on my lap." She hasn't sat on my lap since… the first.

"… Hai." Rei approached him and carefully sat in the man's lap, wincing as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Ow… my ribs are still sore! And my hand is throbbing… and my arm aches as well.

"Will you follow any order I give you, no matter how bizarre it may seem, or even if it is the last thing you would ever wish to do?" He asked. The success of the Human Instrumentality hinges on how well you follow my orders. I must have 100% compliance. Anything less is unacceptable.

Rei was silent once more. She winced as the man shifted suddenly and she could sense him reaching into his desk for something. She did not know what it was, but she didn't imagine it was for a lollypop. "I… honestly do not know, sir. I will follow any order you give me to the best of my ability, but I cannot guarantee that I would follow any order given. I am sorry to disappoint you." Surely he understands.

Gendo raised the pistol up until it was at the back of Rei's head. His finger twitched as it rested on the trigger of his prized Bren Ten, one of the few remaining of the coveted handguns in the world. In other circumstances he would have used a silenced Beretta 92, but the room they were in was sound-proofed and Rei was special to him and deserved to be ended by the gun that was most special to him. [AN: Twisted logic, ne?]

Rei could sense the gun behind her and realized that her response meant her death. She turned to look at the gun for a long moment then stared deeply into the commander's eyes, not looking away even for a moment. Her eyes are so emotionless… no wait… is that… sorrow? His hand began to twitch as his resolve weakened. She smells so much like Yui… His free hand rested on the girl's thigh as he fought the conflicting desires to end her life and wrap her in a comforting hug. I can't think straight… "Stand, Rei." He commanded gruffly.

"Hai, commander." She stood and took a few steps away from him, though her eyes never left his. She looked at him without a trace of fear, though regret was now more pronounced in her expression.

Gendo leveled the gun at her head again and stayed there, motionless. His eyes hardened as he stared at the girl he had raised as his own daughter for years, a girl who just months ago only cared about one person on the planet, himself. He had carefully manipulated her so that he was the only one she loved, but he hadn't counted on the emotions that his son instilled in women, especially his Rei. It was… unacceptable. "Do you understand why I must do this, Rei?"

"Aa, commander. I forgive you." She stated in a serene and loving tone.

Gendo stared at her silently for several minutes, his body only moving slightly with each breath. Forgiveness? That was the last thing I expected. Ikari Gendo took a long deep breath then squeezed the trigger.

************************

Ritsuko Akagi leaned forward and grinned as she shook her glass in a circular motion, making the ice clink against the glass. "You know what really burns me, Maya-chan? I know he's only using me for sex and for the obvious professional reasons. Yet still I cling to him. Can you explain that to me?" Her voice had the slightest slur to it as she had consumed a fair quantity of alcohol in the past hour.

Lt. Ibuki shrugged nervously. "I um… I think that you just need to feel… wanted. I don't know. Perhaps you should… end it. Seek a relationship with someone more… attuned to your needs?" The girl blushed slightly and looked down.

Dr. Akagi leaned forward and stared into the other girl's eyes for a long tense moment before she grinned. "I don't think there are too many eligible bachelor's left in the city after that little incident with Unit 00. Unless you had someone in mind?"

Just say it. "Perhaps." Was all Maya could manage.

Ritsuko smiled and stroked the other girl's hand tenderly. "Tell me… who is it? Is he cute? Is it someone you've dated? Is he good in bed?"

Maya blushed and shook her head nervously. "What? Iie, sempai. It's nothing like that. I…" SAY IT! "I don't know. I just don't think you should stay in a relationship that's as unhealthy as your current one. Coward!

The doctor shrugged. "Hai. I tell myself that I use him as much as he uses me… but I never quite convince myself. We'll see. I really don't want to be alone right now though. So, I guess unless you know someone that I might like, I'll just stay where I'm at for now. Even if he does say HER name sometimes."

Maya looked at her feet. Say something, you coward! "Perhaps a man isn't what you should seek out? A girl might suit you better, sempai."

Ritsuko chuckled, slightly surprised. "Oh? I don't think girls are into me. They never look at me in that way, if you know what I mean. Oh… I think I know what you're trying to say."

Maya looked up, shocked. "You… you do!?"

The doctor chuckled and nodded. "But Misato and I aren't like that. We're just good friends. Sure, she's beautiful, but we've always just been friends. I doubt either of us are seeking to make it more… unless you know something I don't?"

"Eh… iie, sempai. It… was just a suggestion." Lt. Ibuki sighed. She didn't even consider me. I guess that is my answer.

Ritsuko smiled. "It was a nice thought. Oh my… I'm so drunk right now. I should get home. I'll see you tomorrow at Asuka's sync test." The doctor leaned forward and gave the lieutenant a chaste kiss on the lips before she got up and left.

Maya sighed happily and leaned back in her seat. I'm so pathetic… but that was so worth it. Wait… she just stuck me with the bill! ARGH!

************************

Tralala… I wonder how many people are going to freak out more about the fact that Maya has a thing for Ritsuko (which I think was pretty obvious in the Eva movies…) but ignore the fact that Shinji is going home to find every last one of his possessions destroyed after being kicked out by Rei back to the home that houses the crazy girl that tried to rape him, and the fact that Gendo just pulled the trigger on Rei. ;) Oh and of course Evil Flamer person will review and tell me how awful my story is and that I'm the devil and tell me that my characterization of Gendo is all wrong and I'm an idiot, blah blah. Whatever. Anyway, those of you that enjoyed this chapter, I'm glad. Those that didn't? Oh well. Write your own. Hehe. Matta ne!


	9. The Waltz of Recovery

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Some review replies… most are pretty civil this time. Yay! Usiel: I like short chapters. My chapters usually run between 3000-6000 words. It's just my style, I like it that way. I'd rather post a short chapter 2-3 times a week than posting a long chapter every 3 weeks to a month. Perhaps I've read too many short stories and comic books, but in longer chapters the main idea just seems to get lost to me. I also start to lost cohesion if I write really long chapters. So, sorry. And yes, I'm the creator of Chloe… if in fact she ever gets "created".

Steve Vader: Schön, mein erster deutscher Review. Danke für das Lob. Ich bin in Europa mehr nicht, aber ich werde geschmeichelt. Danke. Ich hoffe Sie fortfahre, die Story zu lesen und zu genießen!

Oh and the chapter refers to what is known as the waltz of psychotherapy, which is accomplishment, consequence, then adjustment. Basically, a repressed memory is uncovered, or an admission made to the therapist and oneself. This leads to the proverbial can of worms being opened. In the case of a psychotic patient, this often results in a psychotic episode. In a neurotic patient it could lead to mania, depression, and/or erratic behavior like anger or grief. Then, either through treatment or a through contemplation or outside influence, the patient will accept the accomplishment and move on, though not necessarily completely. I guess that's everything. Hope this chapter is enjoyable.

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 9: The Waltz of Recovery

Dr. Kagame stroked his chin thoughtfully as he regarded the red-haired German girl across from him. "Asuka-san, you were going to talk about your mother next, ne?"

The second child frowned and tilted her chair back, resting her feet up on the doctor's desk which earned a only barely hidden scowl from the psychotherapist. "Meine Mutter? Nein, dieses Versprechen gab ich nicht. Ich will nicht über sie sprechen. [My mother? No, I did not make that promise. I will not speak of her.]"

The doctor sighed and rubbed his eyes, feeling the weariness already beginning. "You also promised to speak in Japanese during our therapy sessions. Have you become a liar?"

Asuka smiled and shook her head slowly. "Nein, Herr Doktor Kagame. Hmph… sorry. Habit. Let's talk about something else."

"Are you taking the drugs I prescribed you?" He asked, glancing down at his notes.

"Must I injest that Scheiße? It makes me light headed." Unit 02's pilot complained.

Dr. Kagame frowned. "It's only been one day, Asuka-san. Give it time. And yes, you must take them if you wish to remain a pilot. But please report any changes in your side-effects. Mild dizziness is to be expected until you adjust to it, but report any other symptoms, ok?"

"Naturally. Can we please talk about something more interesting?" The girl asked.

The doctor nodded. "Of course. What would you like to tell me about?"

Asuka sighed and dropped the chair back to the floor and leaned forward so her chin was resting on her arms, which in turn were on the doctor's desk. "I haven't seen Kaji in a while. Wouldn't you know that the time when I need him the most, he is no where to be found?"

Dr. Kagame looked back over his notes. "Kaji is your… uncle? No… friend? Hmm… you mentioned him a few times in our last meeting."

"He's my lover." The pilot corrected. Ok, so we haven't actually done anything, but he was coming around. No one can resist my charms forever. I know he wants me, he's just uncomfortable because I'm younger than him…

The doctor paused for a moment then jotted that down, trying not to judge. "And how do you feel about that?"

"Nani?" The girl gave him a quizzical expression, unsure of what he was asking about.

"Having an older lover. Perhaps even one that is no longer around?" He elaborated.

Asuka tried to spin in the chair and frowned when it didn't move. Damn stationary chair. Perhaps I should lie on the couch? Isn't that what people are supposed to do? "It's not entirely ideal. He's very uncomfortable with me being younger. I practically have to molest him just to get a kiss, then he usually pretends I didn't even touch him. He rarely even notices my body. Can you believe that? A nubile, sexy body like mine, and he can ignore it? I considered that he might be homosexual, but I know that all of his prior lovers were women. So, I'm not sure what it is."

Dr. Kagame scratched his head. "So, you haven't been with him? I mean, you two haven't made love?"

Her eyes flashed in anger and indignation. "I'm a virgin! What kind of girl do you take me for? Bakayaru!"

The doctor frowned and jotted some notes down. "No need to get hostile. I don't know enough about you yet to know how sexually active you are. What of your relationship with Pilot Ikari? You mentioned him quite a few times in our first session. You seem a bit… fixated on him."

"That baka?!" Asuka cried. "Hmph. He wouldn't know a girl if she shoved her…" She paused. "We are comrades and room mates. Nothing more."

"It sounds like you want to be more." He suggested.

The pilot laughed bitterly for a few moments then shook her head. "Kagame-dono, you are wrong on this one. He is convenient sometimes because we share an apartment with Misato-san, but he is nothing but a play toy. A barely amusing one, at that."

The psychoanalyst frowned in thought and then regarded the girl for a long moment. "Talk to me a bit about Katsuragi-shousa. Is she a mother figure?"

"Iie. She is like a big sister." The pilot replied, pulling one of the doctor's pencils out of a holder and starting to play with it.

"Do you have a maternal influence in your life, then?" Dr. Kagame asked. Asuka ignored the question and continued to play with the pencil. "Asuka?" He reached over and took the pencil from her, a calculated risk at this point in their relationship.

The second child sighed and stood up and began to pace then finally settled down on the couch, forcing the doctor to get up and switch to the chair next to the couch as the desk was too far away to watch her body language. "I don't have a father figure in my life. In fact, my real father was never around when I was a child either."

"I asked about your mother." The doctor reminded her.

Asuka was silent again. "So, is Ayanami one of your patients? That girl has issues. She like, rarely talks. And when she does, it's all like 'I will do what I am ordered to do. I am Wonder Girl! I will steal your boyfriend!' She really ticks me off."

Dr. Kagame made some more notes on the mother subject then made some about Rei and Shinji. "So, you _do regard Shinji as your boyfriend. You said in our last session that Ayanami and Ikari had started a relationship after her Eva self-detonated."_

The second child narrowed her eyes in confusion. "What? I said nothing of the sort! If you're going to twist my words, why don't you just say that I told you that I tried to kill myself, or that in a self-destructive moment I molested Shinji? As if he wouldn't enjoy it if I did. Why don't you just write that down, Herr Doktor?"

"Interesting examples you picked. Are they true?" He asked.

Asuka rolled over onto her side and propped her head on one arm. "So are you married, Kagame-dono?"

"No, I am not. Would you please answer my question, Asuka-san?" The doctor pressed.

Asuka twisted her hair around her finger and stared at the doctor for a few minutes before speaking. "You want to have sex with me, don't you?"

Dr. Kagame blinked in surprise. "Nani!?"

"I see it in your eyes. I don't blame you. I'm so young and beautiful, and without a wife to go home and fuck, you probably get pretty horny, ne? But, you will never have me. No one can ever have me. I'm not worthy." Asuka proclaimed proudly.

"Why are you not worthy?" The doctor asked.

"What?" Unit 02's pilot asked. "I said no one is worthy. I didn't say anything about myself."

"You said that _you were not worthy." The therapist insisted._

Asuka's eyes narrowed in anger. "Japanese is not my native language. Niemand ist würdig genug um mich zu ficken! [Nobody is worthy enough to fuck me!] There, is that clear enough, du fischgesichtige Entschuldigung einer Verfehlung der Evolution!? [you fish-faced excuse of a mishap by evolution.]"

Dr. Kagame decided it was time to back off before he upset her any more. "Ok, ok, my apologies. A change of subject, then. Tell me, what is it like to pilot an Eva?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Asuka spat out in her most hostile tone, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Hai… I would. Would you like to tell me?" He asked.

The pilot contemplated that then shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me. It… completes me, at the same time as it tears me into little pieces. It forces me to look into myself while at the same time I am going beyond myself. I am happy, but I am scared. There is no way I can describe how it feels in words. Words are insufficient. Weak. Meaningless." Asuka became quiet and looked at the doctor for several long moments then she glanced up. "Time's up. Auf Wiedersehen, Herr Doktor Kagame!"

The doctor glanced up and scowled, seeing the hour was up already. "Hai. Matta ne, Asuka-san. Call me if you need me for any reason."

Asuka raised an eyebrow then shrugged and strolled out, humming a tune. Dr. Kagame wasn't sure if the girl was feeling better or not, but he was hopeful that with treatment she would begin to deal with her troubled past and have a better life.

**********************

Misato looked over at the third child and raised her eyebrow inquisitively. "Shinji-kun? Are you planning on going inside any time this week?" The pilot seemed to grow smaller in the car seat and wrapped his arms protectively around his midsection. He found himself wishing that his SDAT was handy. "Shinji-kun?" She watched him for several long moments then sighed in exasperation. "Oh come _on, Shinji! What is your problem?"_

Unit 01's pilot blinked and finally turned to regard the major. "Nothing. I… I'm ready when you are." I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away… why can't I run away!?

"Come on then." The major got out of the car and started walking towards her apartment. She heard the other car door close moments before she reached the door into her home. Misato strolled into the apartment and immediately went to the refrigerator and reached in and grabbed a six pack of beer, earning a grumble from Pen-Pen who was roused from sleep by the noise. "Suma. [informal apology]" She closed the refrigerator door again and plopped down on the couch and immediately downed the first beer. "Aaaaahhhh!"

"Is… is there anything I can get you, or do for you, Misato-san?" Shinji asked nervously, glancing towards Asuka's door.

The major scratched her head. "Nope, don't think so. Aw… do you wanna cuddle, Shinji-kun?" She flashed him a flirtatious grin and wiggled in a suggestive manner.

Shinji blushed and started heading towards his room. "I was just being polite, Misato-san."

She glanced at Shinji and saw his destination and suddenly realized something. Oh shit, his room! "Shinji! Um… perhaps you wouldn't mind cooking me up some noodles?"

The third child froze and turned towards the kitchen, disappointed that his escape had been interrupted. "Hai, Misato-san." Silently he boiled water and poured in some noodles and added some flavoring. "Would you like any meat or vegetables with them?"

"Uh… yeah sure. Vegetables sound great. Perhaps some rice, too." The major grinned at her genius of delaying the pilot from seeing his room. She wasn't quite sure what the point of delaying the inevitable was, but it was better than nothing.

"Your food is ready." Shinji stated, laying some bowls down on the table in front of the major. How does she keep from dehydrating from that much alcohol consumption? She's already on her third beer!

"Arigato, Shinji-kun! Would you like to join me?" Misato offered, seeing there was plenty for the both of them, and likely Asuka as well when she got home from her therapy appointment.

"No thank you, I'm going to my room." Shinji replied, walking towards his destination.

Damn! "Uh… you should eat, Shinji-kun! Please, join me." The major bit her lip and wondered if he would take the bait.

"I'm not hungry." Was his reply.

The front door opened just as he was about to enter his room. "Tadaima! [I'm home!]" Asuka's voice filled the apartment.

Misato frowned when she saw Shinji stiffen. What's his problem? "Okaeri nasai! [Welcome home!]" The major called.

The second child strolled in casually and froze when she saw Shinji. Confusion, anger, and even a little hope played across her features. "What are you doing here, baka? Shouldn't you be playing with your doll?" Shinji stared at his feet. "Answer me." The girl said with more force, advancing towards the other pilot.

"She no longer needs my care so she asked me to return home." His meek answer floated up.

A grin came across the second child's face. "So, you couldn't stay away, ne?" The doll rejected him? Why?

"I will be in my room if I am needed." Shinji stated in his most polite tone and began to enter his room.

"Wait!" Asuka and Misato called at the same time.

The third child stared at his room in shock, his mouth hanging open. He stayed like that for over a minute, and the two women remained silent in guilt and sympathy. Finally a high pitched sound came from the boy's throat, sounding like a mix of the squeal of a dying pig and a strangled baby crying. "E…everything… what happened!?"

"I was… upset." Asuka explained weakly. I barely even remember doing it. It was me, wasn't it?

Shinji rushed into the room and sifted through the debris. "You destroyed everything I own!" He spat out, turning an enraged gaze upon the girl.

"Shinji-kun, perhaps I can help you replace…" Misato started, hoping to defuse the situation before lives were lost.

"Ich entschuldige mich. [I apologize.]" Asuka said in her most humble tone, which for her sounded more like she was bored.

The third child stared at the girl in shock. I didn't even know she was capable of uttering those words. "Are you?" He couldn't quite comprehend it.

Anger flashed in her eyes. "Baka! Don't make me repeat it." The second child growled out.

Shinji nodded and silently got on his knees and began to clean the mess, figuring that it would be the best he'd get out of the girl. He felt a tingle in the back of his neck so he turned to look behind him and his mouth dropped open in shock again when he saw Asuka kneeling down as well, helping to clean the mess. Am I dreaming?

The girl felt his eyes on her so she looked up and saw the surprise on his face. She stood up and threw the shattered tape she was holding to the ground. "I was only trying to help, baka!" She was about to turn and leave when Shinji stood up. "What? Say it. Finally find your balls and just say it!" She fully expected him to attack her. It was what she wanted, for some strange reason. She wanted to see Shinji when he wasn't hiding behind his meek and scared persona. She wanted to see the rage that made him pilot the Eva better than her. She wanted… absolution, under his fists.

Shinji advanced towards her and suddenly wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. "I forgive you."

Asuka stiffened in the boy's embrace but gradually relaxed. She even went so far as to bring her arms up around the back of his neck. I feel… safe. Unbidden, tears flowed from her eyes.

"It's ok… let it out." Shinji whispered. I can't believe I'm consoling her after what she did. But maybe I… understand.

When she realized she was crying, Unit 02's pilot reacted the only way she knew how to. In anger. "Hentai!" She cried, shoving the boy away. She turned her back to him to hide her tears with her hair, pausing for a moment to see his reaction. Aren't you going to be angry?

His arms went around her waist again as he held her from behind. "I won't abandon you, Asuka-san. I'm here for you."

"Let me go." She whispered.

"Iie." Was the third child's response.

"Go back to your doll. I don't want you." She said more firmly, struggling against his embrace.

"You are not a doll, Asuka." Shinji whispered into her ear.

It was the wrong thing to say. She whirled around and slapped him so hard he crashed into the wall and fell over. "Blödes Arschloch! [Stupid asshole!] Don't ever call me that again! Why don't you go fuck Wonder Girl and get it over with!? You two are so obviously made for each other! I don't want you, damn it! Keep your dirty hands off of me!" She advanced towards him, intent on kicking him in the ribs, but instead of cringing and readying himself for her blow like he normally did, he just gave her a sad disappointed look. What the hell is wrong with him? He's looking at me differently. He's… pitying me. "Save your pity for someone that needs it, baka!" She stormed out of his room and into her own, slamming the door shut and collapsing on her bed to sob. She was caught between the conflicting desires to curl up and die and to beat the third child to within an inch of his life, so she just remained where she was, feeling empty and alone.

"I'm going out." Shinji announced, resentment in his tone.

"Shinji-kun, I really think you should…" Misato sighed as the boy walked out and wondered if the two pilots were self-destructing.

**********************

Rei was sitting on her bed staring at the wall. In her un-bandaged hand she was holding Commander Ikari's glasses and her thumb was sliding over the cracks in the lenses. She had been sitting this way since returning from NERV headquarters and she was in no hurry to move any time soon. A while later, there was a soft knock at the door. The first child looked up, only mildly surprised. "Who is it, please?" It could only be either Shinji-kun or Akaji-dono. And the likelihood of it being the doctor is minute.

"It's me. Ikari." Came the nervous voice.

Though she knew it had been him, she still sighed. "What is your purpose for being here?" It was a loaded question, of course.

"May I enter, Rei-kun? I am talking to a door." The third child's voice floated in, slightly muffled by said door.

Rei looked down at her hands and set the commander's glasses back in its normal place and settled back against her pillow. "Enter if you wish."

The door opened and Ikari entered, smiling at the blue-haired girl. "Arigato, Rei-kun. Have you eaten? I can cook for you."

Rei stared at him. Have I eaten today? I don't remember.

The third child scratched the back of his head nervously and walked into the kitchen. "Well, I'll cook and if you're hungry you can eat. If not, save it for later. How are you feeling? Any better since this morning?"

"I am well." Was the girl's reply.

Shinji leaned back to look at her as he prepared a meal for her, but went back to what he was doing when he realized she was not going to elaborate. He finished cooking in silence, lost in his own thoughts. "It's ready. Would you like to eat now?"

"………. Aa." Rei stood and walked into the kitchen and sat down.

Shinji set the food down and sat across from her. "I was wondering, are you sure you don't want me here? I can keep cooking for you and clean your apartment. I will respect your space."

"Do you not wish to return home to Katsuragi-shousa's, Shinji-kun?" Rei asked, evading the question.

The third child looked down, avoiding her intense gaze. "Iie." Silence reigned in the kitchen for several minutes before Shinji decided to elaborate. "Asuka… things are not good between us. She destroyed my possessions. She attacks me for little to no reason. I just can't live with her anymore. I tried to be nice and all I got for my trouble was a black eye."

Rei glanced up and noticed the black eye and the welt on his cheek. He was struck with a lot of force. Perhaps he should see a medic.

Shinji sighed and laid his chopsticks down. "Perhaps if it is improper for me to share this apartment then I can live in the one across from you? These are all abandoned, ne? That way it would be easy to cook your meals and clean your apartment, and we can keep an eye on each other. And I won't have to live with that red-haired demon woman anymore."

Rei blinked in surprise. "I can not stop you if you move into the room across from this one. I do not own it."

The boy tapped the table and frowned. "But would it bother you?"

"…………………."

"I will stay at Misato-san's then." Shinji stared at the food, feeling his appetite dissipate.

"Perhaps… in the future. Now is not a good time." Rei finally said after several minutes of silence.

Hope lit up the third child's eyes. "Domo arigato, Rei-kun."

"………………" The blue-haired girl finished her meal and sipped at some water, looking over to the window.

"What happened to your hand, Rei-kun?" The third child inquired.

The first child looked down at her bandaged hand. "I do not remember."

"………… Would you like me to take a look at it?" Shinji leaned over and looked at the bandages, noticing a blood spot on the top.

"……………" The ex-pilot took another sip of water.

She didn't say no. The boy reasoned, reaching over and gently unwrapping the bandages around the girl's hand. He looked up and noticed she was watching her hand as if she were unsure of what he would find. Encouraged, he continued unwrapping the bandages until they fell limply away. "Oh Kami-sama… that's a deep cut." He blinked in surprise when he felt blood on her palm. It couldn't be… He turned her hand over and gasped when he saw another cut on that side. "It goes clean through!? Rei-kun, you have to see a medic! This could become infected… and it might require surgery!"

"I was not ordered to the infirmary. I will be fine." Was Rei's response.

Shinji sighed and got up and retrieved the medical supplies he had purchased to apply fresh dressings to her wounds. He applied antiseptic and wrapped fresh bandages on her hand as calmly as he could then leaned over to stroke his fingers against her cheek gently. "You should take better care of yourself, Rei-kun."

"……………………" A slow blush crept across her cheeks.

"Please?" Ikari pleaded. "Were you ordered _not to see a physician?"_

"……………….. Iie." Rei looked down at the freshly bandaged hand.

Shinji smiled. "Then there is no reason not to go, ne?"

Ayanami nodded once.

"It's settled then. Let's go." The third child stood and looked at the girl expectantly.

"……….. Hai." She followed him silently. I am accustomed to following orders. On the walk to the hospital, Rei's mind wandered back to when she had her 'confrontation' with Commander Ikari. 

**************************

Commander Ikari squeezed the trigger, but nothing happened. The safety is on… He flipped it off and leveled the gun at the girl again. She's still staring at me… those eyes… He squeezed the trigger again, and a barely audible click was heard. Empty. I… did I purposely take out the gun that I knew was unloaded? His hand dropped to his side and the gun clattered to the floor.

"Commander?" Rei was tentative, unsure if she was still about to be replaced or not.

"Will your relationship with Pilot Ikari affect your work here?" Gendo asked finally after dragging his eyes up from the floor to meet her gaze.

"No sir. I do not believe so." The first child was confused. Why is he going to let me live? He could have just put a round into the gun and tried again.

"See that it doesn't. You are dismissed."

"………………………………… Hai." Rei left, even more confused about her life then before she had come to the commander's office. And she did not like being confused.

**************************

"How long ago did this happen?" The trauma surgeon asked, looked at the first child's hand critically.

"I do not remember." Rei replied.

"Looks about… a week old perhaps. Was this not operated on?" Dr. Matsuo frowned at the hand, realizing there was no evidence of surgical scars. She looked up at the first child curiously.

"Iie." The blue haired girl replied.

"Have you been undergoing occupational therapy at least?" It looks like it needed surgery…

"……………. Iie." The first child seemed bored.

"Move your fingers for me? This one… this one… this one… no this one. You can't move it? The last one? Not that one either… that's to be expected. You need surgery. Hold on." She looked up at the surgical schedule. "An operating room will be available in two hours. I'll go sign you up. I'll send a nurse to get your pre-op taken care of. You do want the surgery, ne?" The doctor paused when the girl remained silent.

The boy that had come in with her nudged her. "Rei-kun? Get the surgery, please. Doctor, will she regain full use of her hand?"

Yoriko looked at the hand again. "Since she waited this long to come in, my best guess is no. However, if she works hard at therapy, she should regain at least 80% of her mobility. Probably about the same amount of tactile strength. My guess is that she won't be able to move her pinky finger by itself anymore. It shouldn't be too bad. I have faith that I'll be able to fix most of the damage."

Rei remained silent.

"Rei-kun?" Shinji sighed. "I'll sign for her surgery. She's in shock." Ok, so she's always like that… but it's for the best.

"Are you family?" The doctor asked.

"…………………. Hai. Kind of. My father has legal guardianship of her, so in a way I am her brother." Whoa… how weird does that sound? The third child thought.

"Ayanami-san? Is it all right if Ikari-san signs for you?" The doctor asked.

Rei looked up at her then over at Shinji. "Nani?"

"For the surgery on your hand." Unit 01's pilot explained.

"Surgery?" When did they talk about surgery? The first child wondered.

"Get the surgery." Shinji said in a low but commanding tone. Please don't hit me…

Rei blinked then nodded once. "Hai."

"I'll send the pre-op nurse. Relax. It'll all be over before you know it." The doctor stated, patting the girl on the shoulder in an effort to reassure her.

Shinji sat down next to the first child and tenderly stroked her hair over her ear. "It'll be ok, Rei-kun."

"……………….. Hai." The first child stared off into space. Why am I having surgery? Oh… my hand. Even if my S2 organ repairs the damage, I'll still have trouble moving it. I suppose surgery is necessary.

The rest of the time was spent in silence, save for when the pre-op nurse was there. Soon enough, it was time for Rei to be taken to surgery. "I'll be there when you wake up. See you soon." Ikari stated in his most positive tone, though he was nervous and barely hiding it. Rei remained silent and just stared up at the ceiling as she was wheeled away on the gurney. Shinji sighed and walked over to one of the phones and swiped his NERV card through it. Moments later, a voice asked him how he wished to be directed. "Commander Ikari, please. This is Pilot Ikari." He waited for about five minutes before he was connected to Gendo. "Hello father."

************************

That's all for now. Teehee. Hope you all are still enjoying the story. Next chapter: Shinji faces Asuka again, as well as his father. Kaoru has respectfully requested to be in the chapter as well, so I will be sure to include him so doesn't start complaining to much. Last time I left him alone he started flirting with Maya. Can't have that, now can we? Haha. Matta ne!


	10. The Trick Is To Keep Breathing

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Hmm well sorry if my German isn't perfect, but it's not my native language. ;) I'm not even in Germany any more so I don't get to practice. There's bound to be a few errors so you'll all just have to accept that. If someone wants to send me corrections in email or something feel free and I'll edit it. I don't really like the thought of using a full time proofreader though. I mean, you write something and you want to post it, not wait for 3-4 days for someone to look over it and say one little sentence is in the wrong tense or something, ya know? Heh. But I can always go back and upload corrections. Anyway… that's all that really needs to be said this time.

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 10: The Trick Is To Keep Breathing

Soft sighs and gasps filled Gendo Ikari's office as the commander was thrusting himself into Ritsuko Akagi. The doctor had her feet locked behind the man's neck and was enjoying the lovemaking, which had become a rare thing as of late. Gendo, as usual, had his eyes closed. Dr. Akagi knew he was imagining himself making love to Yui, it was quite obvious since half the time when he climaxed he was crying out her name, but she didn't care anymore. All that she cared about was that he was with her. That had to count for something…

"Turn over." Gendo commanded suddenly, backing away from her. He waited patiently as she gave him a dirty glare for stopping, then turned over so that her feet were on the floor and her posterior was towards the man. Without a word, he gripped her hips and thrust himself back into her and started moving at a fast and hard pace, ignoring the woman's grunts of pain.

Ritsuko groaned and reached forward to grip the far edges of the desk for balance and shifted her hips around to find a better angle of penetration. "Oooh, Gendo." She murmured softly, her eyes rolling back into her head.

The commander remained silent, and to any observer he would have appeared bored. He paused when his phone rang, then slowly withdrew himself. He answered it and was surprised to hear Shinji's voice on the other end and he listened silently as the boy explained that Rei had been admitted for hand surgery. "I see. Understood." Was all he said before he hung up. "Rei is in the hospital. She is having hand surgery." He told the doctor, mostly because she was Rei's primary physician.

Ritsuko nodded then watched him silently for a few moments but when he didn't resume having sex with her she decided to speak up. "Gendo? You're not stopping are you?" Gendo ignored her. "Gendo!" The doctor was getting impatient, having been a minute or two from reaching her climax.

"You may go. I'm through with you." The commander stated coldly.

Dr. Akagi's eyes flashed in anger. "Just because your little doll is having surgery on her hand? That's no reason to stop! You can't just stop like that!"

Commander Ikari looked over at her, his expression unreadable. "Perhaps you are right." He moved behind her and grabbed her hips in a tight grip and thrust himself back into her roughly. A few hard and fast strokes later and he groaned, finding his release inside her. He could tell the doctor was a few moments away from her own climax, but he didn't care. He silently withdrew and pulled his pants back up. "Now you may go."

Ritsuko stared at the man in shock. He was normally cold, especially after sex, but he usually had the decency to finish her off first. This was unacceptable. "You arrogant bastard! You'll have to find some other woman to get yourself off with. You care so much about that little bitch and not me? I won't stand for it anymore.  If I leave, we're through!"

Gendo tapped at his computer, remaining silent for a few moments. Then he gave the woman a cold glare. "That is acceptable. You are dismissed." Dr. Akagi's eyes widened in shock and anger and her hand went up to strike the man across the face. "That is not recommended, doctor. You are no longer a necessary part of this organization, after all."

Tears dripped from her eyes from shame and hurt, but she had her pride. She dressed quickly, turned and walked out with her head held high. She didn't collapse and sob until after she had left the office and returned to her own. There was a knock at her door moments later, and thinking it was Gendo coming to apologize for once in his life, she immediately called for the person to enter without asking who it was.

"Sempai? I noticed a minor inconsistency in Caspar, and I thought I should bring it to your…" Maya trailed off and she looked up and noticed the doctor was slumped on the floor with red eyes and wet cheeks. "Have you been crying, sempai?"

Dr. Akagi sighed and turned her head, using the sleeve of her lab coat to wipe her tears away. "Hai. It's over between the commander and I."

Lt. Ibuki gave the doctor a sympathetic look and sat down next to her, leaning over to put an arm around the older woman's waist. "I'm sorry. I suppose it was coming. He never really was the loving type, ne?"

Ritsuko sighed and leaned into the other woman's embrace. "It doesn't make it any easier, whether I knew it was coming or not."

"I know… I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" Maya asked in a gentle tone.

The doctor shrugged. "Just… stay with me a little while. Thank you, Maya-chan. You don't know how much your friendship means to me."

The lieutenant smiled and ran her fingers through the other woman's blonde tresses, attempting to comfort her. "Arigato, sempai. I'm happy to be appreciated." Maya stared off to the adjacent wall, noticing the pictures on her shelf. There was a picture of Ritsuko with her mother when she was a little girl, a picture of the woman's parents in their wedding photo, a picture of Maya and Ritsuko not too long after the younger woman had been assigned as her assistant, and a picture of Maya by herself, that one a professional picture. I don't remember giving her a copy of that picture. That's so sweet! No pictures of the commander… I wonder why this is the first time I've noticed the photos on her shelf? The lieutenant looked down and noticed the older woman had dozed off against her breast. You don't know how lucky you had it, Commander Ikari. And you just threw it all away. Maya sighed and leaned her head back against the wall and relaxed.

*************************

"Why are you here?" A soft voice floated from behind Rei. She turned and saw a younger version of herself, the first Rei.

"I do not know. Who are you?" Rei II asked.

Rei I smiled and put her arms out and spun around, laughing. "You know. You know! I am you, before. The question is, why are you here?"

The older girl frowned. "I do not understand. Where is here?"

"Our soul. Our core. Our center. Our beginning, and our end." Another voice answered, this one older.

Rei II turned and looked at the new arrival, this one looked like a 20ish year old Rei, with silver hair and golden eyes. "Are you… me?"

"I am a part of you and you are a part of us." Both Rei I and the new arrival answered. The older continued alone. "But I am the original. You know me, in your soul. You knew exactly where to find me, and what was with me."

The first child frowned. "Lilith? You are… part of me? Yes, I suppose you would have to be. The origin of my S2 engine. But why are you appearing before me now?"

The other two Reis laughed. "This is where we exist. It is you that came before us. The question then is, why are _you here?"_

Rei II was silent in contemplation. There is no reason for me to be here. Is there? She looked around, surprised to find the place to be beautiful and serene. There were cherry blossoms floating around, a large lake with water of golden hue, and a gentle breeze blowing about. Even the sky appeared to be in perpetual sunset. "This is… my soul?"

"A reflection of your soul, hai." Lilith agreed.

"He is here, you know." The younger Rei said out of the blue.

The first child blinked. "Nani?"

"You know who I'm talking about. He is part of your soul. You gave it to him. Don't you remember? It wasn't even that long ago…" Rei I stated in a taunting tone.

Rei II was silent for a long time then she turned away from the reflections of herself. "I wish to leave this place."

"You cannot. This is your soul. You can no sooner abandon your soul as rip the heart from your chest. Besides, as the child said, it is no longer completely yours." Lilith responded.

The former Unit 00's pilot sighed and sat down and hugged her knees to herself, staring across the lake. She did her best to ignore the reflections of herself, as a single tear trickled down her cheek.

*************************

"It looks like she's starting to wake up." A voice said from what seemed to be across a chasm. Rei's eyes twitched, but the next few statements she didn't quite catch.

"Can you say something for me? Can you hear me?" The first voice asked.

"Hai." Rei responded. The girl stiffened when she felt herself moving. It took her several moments to realize she was being wheeled somewhere on a gurney. "Ayanami Rei, NERV ID number 472836421-1C. I will answer no further questions."

"What's she talking about?" A male's voice asked.

"It's the anesthesia. A side effect is short term amnesia and confusion. Give her a few minutes to wake up. You're her brother, ne?" The female voice that she had heard the first time asked.

"Nani!? Oh… sort of. She's a ward of my father, so in a manner of speaking, hai." The male's voice explained.

"Shinji-kun?" Rei asked, confused.

"Hai, it's me, Rei-kun." Shinji reassured her. She felt a pressure on one of her hands and she assumed it was the boy squeezing her hand. Tears trickled out of her eyes, though she didn't know why. She wondered if it was relief. "She's crying. Is she in pain?"

"Oh no… she's not likely to feel much of anything right now, she's so drugged up. It's another effect of the anesthesia. Some patients tend to get a little weepy. She's also likely to have a dry mouth and have trouble urinating. We'll monitor her." The female stated. Rei felt the bed stop and a moment later she was being wheeled through a doorway. "Welcome to your room, Ayanami-san. Ikari-san, do you mind helping me move her onto the bed?"

"Hai, of course I'll help." Shinji replied. His face hovered over Rei's for a moment. He smiled down at her. She wasn't sure, but she thought she felt his hand stroking her cheek for a moment. A few moments later, she felt her body sliding over onto the hospital bed. "Are you ok, Rei-kun? You look a little sick."

"Hai." Rei replied, though she didn't elaborate as to which it was.

"Do you have one of those things in case she gets sick? Oh… and this one is?" The third child asked.

"A bedpan, in case she can't get up to use the toilet. She shouldn't have any trouble walking though. There's also…" Rei tuned out the rest of the woman's explanations. A moment later she looked over and a middle aged woman was smiling at her and wiping her hand with a cotton swab with alcohol on it. Then she took an IV needle and carefully placed it into a vein in her uninjured hand and taped it down. "Now was a good time to do this since you're still numbed from the anesthesia, ne?"

Rei coughed.

"Well… call me if you need anything. I'll be back around for rounds in a bit. Give her some water. Her throat might be a little raw. They had to pump her stomach to avoid aspiration since they couldn't wait on the surgery. Do you have any questions before I go?" The nurse asked.

"Iie… Rei?" Shinji looked down at the first child.

The blue-haired girl blinked. "Nani?"

"She's fine." The third child told the nurse then turned his attention back to the girl. "They tell me that you were babbling incoherently in your sleep. I heard a bit of it while you were in recovery. It sounded like a real language, but I didn't recognize it."

Rei blinked.

"No ideas?" Shinji pressed.

Rei stared at him. Another language? "I speak several languages other than Japanese. I know German, English, Russian, Mandarin, and French. It was likely one of those. Or perhaps it was Latin or Babylonian? I speak those too."

"So ka?! It might have been Babylonian. I think I would have recognized the others. Can you say a few words for me for comparison?" Shinji had his hand resting on her arm as if he was offering his strength to her healing process.

Rei thought about it for a moment, then spoke. "Enüma elish lä nabû shamämü, shaplish ammatum shuma lä zakrat… did it sound like that?" [AN: The first two lines of the Enuma elish, the Babylonian creation Epos. It translates to 'When above heaven was not (yet) named, (and) below the earth was not pronounced by name'. Only took me like 20 minutes to find some bloody Babylonian… heh but I'm sure a few of you know why Rei might have been taught that language or at least taken an interest in it…]

Shinji shook his head. "Not especially. Um… why _did you learn Babylonian?"_

Rei stared up at the ceiling. "I do not remember."

The third child frowned. "Well, I can't even pronounce half of the stuff you were saying. But I guess it was similar to that. I suppose it doesn't matter, it might have just been babble." [AN: Hmm, didn't the word babble originate as a reference to the Tower of Babel, which many feel was Babylon? Heh]

Rei was silent for a while then asked, "When can I return home?"

Shinji sighed. "They will want to observe you. Is that all right?"

Her red eyes shifted over to look the boy in the face. "Is that what you wish of me?"

"…. Hai. I want them to be sure you are all right. Would you stay overnight, at least?" The pilot's hand rubbed her arm gently as he pleaded with her.

"… Hai. I would like some water, please." The blue-haired girl struggled to sit up, so Shinji helped her, finding the switch to raise the head of the bed up. She sipped at the water, not realizing until now how raw her throat had been. "Arigato."

"Dou-itashimashite." Shinji replied automatically. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"…………………. What happened between Pilot Soryu and yourself?" Rei asked.

The third child's eyes shifted to the floor. "You shouldn't concern yourself with it. She is just… having some troubles that she took out on me. She is undergoing treatment, so perhaps there is hope."

Even though she obviously did something very bad to him, he still will not speak ill of her. Such a kind boy… man. "You do not have to stay here if you do not wish to, Shinji-kun. I think I will try to sleep. Tomorrow, perhaps you can help me home? I am sure they will release me by then." The first child stated with confidence.

"Rei-kun… may I ask you a question?" Shinji hesitantly queried. The girl's eyes shifted back to meet the pilot's. He took that as an affirmative, so continued. "When the surgeon examined your hand, she said the injury looked to be a week old. It could not have been more than a day old, however. How… is that so?"

Her eyes returning to the ceiling, she hesitated to respond. After several minutes, she licked her lips and began to explain. "Shinji-kun… I am not entirely human."

"So ka?!" The third child looked her over nervously.

"I am… a clone. I was killed when I was a child. Strangled to death. I do not remember much of that time, my memories are incomplete. However, I was cloned from that girl. And I was… altered. They used some of Lilith's DNA as well. I am… part angel. I even have an S2 organ." Her uninjured hand rested on the lower part of her stomach as she said that last part, indicating its location. They were both silent for several minutes before Rei looked over at the boy, expecting to see revulsion. Instead, she saw confusion. "It is not something I would tell someone I did not… trust. Please keep that information between us, ok?"

"…….. Hai. I always thought you were a little different than normal people, but I never imagined… Do you still consider yourself human?" Shinji asked hesitantly.

"Aa. I am Ayanami Rei, whether I have a little angel DNA or a little polar bear DNA." She noticed the boy become a little nervous at the latter example. "It was just an example. I do not have polar bear DNA. At least, I do not believe so."

"Does my father know?" Unit 01's pilot asked.

"Hai. He was the one that had them add the angel DNA to me. I do not believe they could have cloned me without it, but I am unsure. I am… grateful that I was brought back." Rei could feel the hesitancy in the pilot, but he didn't pull away from her. She took that as a good sign.

"So, with your S2 organ you can heal yourself faster than a normal human? No wonder you recovered so quickly from your injuries." He looked to where she had indicated the placement of the organ for a few moments, deep in thought. "Is it… is everything else the same? I mean… are you… missing anything that a normal human girl would have?" She isn't missing anything externally, that's for sure…

"… A uterus. I do not have one. That is where my S2 organ is. Therefore, I cannot bear children." She saw a brief moment of disappointment in Shinji's eyes, but he blinked and it was gone. Why would that bother him?

"I see. Are you ok with that?" He asked carefully.

"Hai. It is the way I am. I accept that." Rei took another long swig of water and carefully placed it on the tray beside her.

"Ii. So, you should recover from this surgery fairly quickly then." It was more a statement than a question, and of course Shinji got no response. "You must be tired. I will return tomorrow when visiting hours begin. As you'll likely be discharged, I'll take you home. Is there anything you need before I go?"

Rei was about to say no when she felt pressure in her bladder. "Can you help me to the toilet? I am unsure if I can walk without dizziness as of yet."

"Of course, Rei-kun." He rushed over to the other side of the bed, the side closer to the washroom, and lowered the railing. He was glad that it was a private room, since they were discussing such sensitive information, and it also meant that they wouldn't have to walk around another bed to get to the toilet. 

They walked slowly into the small room, Rei only lightly holding onto the third child's hand, and she took care of her business and returned to the bed. "Arigato, Shinji-kun. And oyasumi."

"Hai… oyasumi nasai." Shinji's thumb caressed her uninjured hand for a moment unconsciously then he smiled and walked out slowly, in case she called for him to wait. She had already fallen asleep when he looked back, so the pilot left quietly, closing the door to give her some privacy. With a mind swimming with unanswered questions, he wandered off.

*************************

Rei found herself sitting behind Shinji in the entry plug of Unit 01. She watched as Unit 03, or rather the 13th angel strangled the third child's Eva. "Why are you not retaliating, Shinji-kun?" Rei asked with her soft, almost ethereal voice.

"I can't fight it! There's a human trapped in there! I can't fight one of my own, it's wrong!" Shinji cried, fighting through the pain of feeling his neck being constricted to speak. He began yelling at his father, who was ordering him to destroy the angel.

Rei looked to the side and saw her own defeated Eva lying motionless on the ground. She looked away, not wanting to remember that experience. Instead, her attention returned to the third child's struggle. "Shinji, you must fight to live."

"I won't fight! Even if I die, I can't kill a human! I won't! You can't make me!" The boy cried.

"Then we will all die. Why do you resist? You must destroy the one to protect the many. Why do you not understand this, Shinji-kun?" Rei asked. "Is one life so precious as to disregard all of humanity?"

"Ayanami… I'm sorry." Shinji whispered. Likely it was too soft for even the people in the control room to hear over the comm. system.

Rei's eyes widened in surprise. "Nani?" She could hear Commander Ikari stating that if Shinji wouldn't fight, he would make him fight. The first child frowned, becoming worried as Shinji's face began to turn purple from the strangulation. "I will protect you, Shinji-kun." Rei stated, climbing over the seat and grabbing the boy's hands, forcing him to fight. She could feel Shinji resisting, yelling at her to stop, but she wouldn't. She couldn't. She grabbed the 13th angel around the neck and threw it to the ground, then began to pummel it, ripping it to pieces. "I won't let you harm Shinji-kun! I will destroy you!" Rei yelled, feeling anger for the first time since months before when Shinji insulted the commander and received a slap for the offense.

"Stop it! Stop it! You can't do this!" Shinji cried, struggling to resist her.

But she did not stop. She was going berserk, consumed in an explosion of rage. The blood-like LCL covering Unit 01 from the angel only spurred her on. She felt like laughing maniacally, but instead her eyes widened in a mix of fury and joy as she tore the angel to shreds. She reached in and pulled out the entry plug, holding it in Unit 01's hand. She had to stop the angel, by any means necessary.

"No! Stop it! Stop it! You can't!" Shinji cried, resisting with all his strength, to no avail.

Rei squeezed down, crushing the entry plug, LCL and human blood squirting out from the shattered metal remains. She dropped it and settled back, finally calming down. She turned and saw tears falling down the third child's face, and the sight wrenched at her heart. "Gomen nasai, Shinji-kun. It had to be done." Rei explained quietly.

"You killed him… you heartless bitch, you killed him!" Shinji moaned. His eyes widened when he saw the broken and bloody body of his friend, Toji Suzuhara, extracted from the plug. "Oh Kami-sama… Toji?! You fucking killed Toji! How could you!? I wish you were dead! I wish I were dead!"

"Shinji-kun…" Rei said hesitantly, reaching out to lay a hand on his cheek, hoping it would comfort him. Instead, he reacted violently, striking her across the face so hard she felt her neck pop. She reached up to soothe the stinging in her cheek, tears welling up in her eyes. "I only did what I had to do to protect you."

"You're nothing but a soulless monster." The third child stated in a tone as cold as the grave. He left the entry plug and walked away without another word, leaving a sobbing and heartbroken Rei behind. Worst of all, she was afraid that he might be right.

Rei awoke and turned, grabbing the vomit tray just in time to empty her stomach into it, though water and stomach acid was basically all that had been inside it. She set the tray down and rested on her side, feeling tears trickle from her eyes. I will have to tell him… that I am the basis for the dummy plug system. He will hate me, but I cannot lie to him. Never to him. Why does Shinji have to be so special? Rei sighed and drifted back to sleep, this time a dreamless slumber.

*************************

Shinji found himself in NERV when he bothered to notice where his feet had led him. Worse, he was standing before his father's office. He sighed and reluctantly knocked on the door. After several long moments, he heard his father's voice telling him to come in. "It's me, father. I um… came to tell you that Rei is through with the surgery and she is expected to make a nearly full recovery. The surgeon… um… said she might not regain full use of her hand, but it'll be close enough." He stared at his feet while he spoke. If he hadn't have heard his father's voice telling him to enter, he wouldn't have even known if he was talking to a person or not.

"Is that all?" Gendo asked after well over a minute of silence.

"…. Iie. I wanted… to ask you……………………………" He fell silent, but the commander didn't press or even acknowledge that he was listening, so Shinji finally had to finish his sentence. "I wanted to ask you if you knew how her hand was impaled."

"Aa. Is that all?" Commander Ikari asked, his tone cold and uncaring.

Shinji looked up finally and was agitated to see the callous expression on his father's face. "Don't you care?" His voice gained a slight edge of irritation.

"That is none of your concern. You are dismissed, Pilot Ikari." Gendo turned back to the computer he had been working on without awaiting a reply.

"I know that Rei is a clone. You gave her angel DNA and an S2 organ, didn't you?" Despite biting his tongue, the words had still spilled out.

"………………… Hai." Gendo laced his fingers together and regarded his son. Rei told him that? She must care for him even more than I thought. This had better not become… problematic.

Shinji paced nervously. It was evident where Rei had learned her mannerisms from as he saw how uncommunicative his father was. Was he always this way? Or was it only… after mom died? "Why?"

"It was necessary." The commander replied, volunteering no real information.

"But _why?! Was there a purpose, or was it the only way to clone her?" Shinji demanded, advancing a step towards his father, despite the fear the man inspired in him._

"It is not necessary for you to have that information." Commander Ikari retorted.

Shinji's shoulders slumped in defeat. He hadn't really expected his father to tell him, but he had hoped. "Do you care for her? Is that why you brought her back?"

"…………….. That is a reasonable assumption. Is that all?" Gendo frowned behind his fingers.

Shinji turned slowly and regarded his father critically. "If you could bring Rei back, why couldn't you bring mom back? Why was she not cloned?"

Commander Ikari stared at his son for several minutes. He half-expected the boy to back off and leave, but he didn't budge. "There was nothing left of your mother to clone." It was a half-truth, but not even Rei knew the whole truth. He certainly wouldn't tell his son that he was falling in love with a girl that had been cloned from a combination of his own mother's DNA and Lilith's. "Now, is that all? I have work to do. And I believe you have a sync test in the morning."

The third child frowned. "Nani? No I don't. Asuka does."

"You will come in with the second child and you will both test at the same time. You are dismissed." Gendo turned back to his work.

Shinji sighed and left, knowing this time his father would not respond to any further questions. With questions still running rampant in his head, he returned to Major Katsuragi's apartment, figuring he would sleep on the couch since his room was destroyed. He walked in and called out that he was home and winced when he heard Asuka call out a welcome. He didn't hear Misato's voice though and a quick look into her room showed her passed out on her futon, empty beer cans strewn about carelessly. He sighed and walked past his room as he approached the couch and stopped suddenly. He backed up and looked into his room, finding it spotless. Not only that, but a futon was lying on the floor, complete with a pillow. He saw a few of his belongings glued or taped back together, but most of them were missing, likely beyond repair and thrown away. A stack of yen bills were lying on the floor as well. He scratched his head and realized it was all of Asuka's money, noticing a picture that she liked to draw on her yen notes on most of the bills, and likely some of it was from Misato to help him replace his damaged belongings. "Wow." Was all he could say.

He shook his head and decided he may as well sleep, since he was exhausted. He started to lie down when he noticed reddish brown hairs on the pillow. "This is… Asuka's futon!? Then… what is she sleeping on?" He sniffed at the futon and the unmistakable scent of the German girl wafted from it. It was a pleasant scent, a mix of cinnamon and apple blossoms. "Strange." This is her way of apologizing… I should at least thank her.

He walked over to the second child's door and knocked on it gently. After about 30 seconds he was about to turn away when he heard the girl tell him to enter. He cracked the door open and peeked in, seeing her sitting on the bare floor. "Asuka? I um… thank you, for my room."

"It was nothing. It was the least… uh… Misato-san made me." Unit 02's pilot was obviously lying, but it was to protect her pride so Shinji let it pass.

"Well… thanks anyway. Are you… you're not sleeping on the bare floor, are you?" Shinji frowned, noticing she didn't even have a pillow.

"What's it to you?" She demanded, edge returning to her voice.

Shinji shrugged. "Well, you could always sleep on the couch. It's likely more comfortable than the floor."

"And make it easier for you to molest me in my sleep? No thank you, hentai. Oyasumi." The girl stretched out, putting her hands behind her head.

The third child couldn't stop his eyes from roaming over her body. All she was wearing was an oversized t-shirt, and he could almost see her underwear, assuming she was wearing any. But it gave an excellent view of her shapely legs. He wrenched his eyes from her body when he noticed she was looking at him, and to avoid a cry of how perverted he was, he covered himself by making a lame comment about how it looked like she was uncomfortable and promising he wouldn't do anything if she changed her mind and slept on the couch. She grunted and didn't reply so he left with a goodnight and returned to his room. Lying on the futon was unnerving, because her scent surrounded him. He blushed in embarrassment when he realized he was getting aroused, so he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Later, he could have sworn someone was poking him in the ribs. He could feel a presence next to him, and thinking it was Misato wandering into his bedroom in her drunken haze again, he cracked his eyes open expecting to see the lovely purple haired woman unconscious next to him. Instead, he found Asuka's eyes fixed on his own. "Asuka!? What are you doing in my bed?"

"It's my bed." She corrected him. "I trust you to keep your hands to yourself, hentai. I can't sleep on the floor and the couch wasn't any better. You don't mind, I trust." It wasn't a question.

Shinji bit his lip nervously. The girl was practically draped over him, an arm across his chest and one of her legs hooked between his own. "Eh… iie. I don't mind." He nervously lifted his arm and rested it on the girl's warm back. He was expecting her to slap him and call him a pervert, but instead she snuggled a little closer and fell asleep immediately. The third child stared at the ceiling, confused. He glanced down, expecting to see a raging erection tenting the covers, but he was surprised to see that his member was dormant. Thank goodness… that would have been all I needed to get my ass kicked.

He didn't sleep very well, still finding himself nervous about the volatile German girl sleeping by him… on him, but he found himself forgiving her for her attack a few nights before, despite himself. His thoughts drifted to Rei, wondering how well the girl was sleeping, and she was the last thing on his mind as he fell into a deep slumber.

*************************

Strange way to end a chapter? Heh. Don't worry, things between Asuka and Shinji aren't peachy keen yet, nor are they romantic, but the healing process is beginning. Things between Shinji and Rei, however, are likely going to get rockier for a while. Next chapter: More psychotherapy, and a visit to the cemetery. I look forward to reviews! Auf Wiedersehen, and Ja.


	11. Requiem for the Fallen

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Nothing to see here, folks! Move [Read] along!

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 11: Requiem for the Fallen

"Shinji-kun? I wanted to tell you that…………………." Misato paused as she noticed Asuka sleeping next to the other pilot. "Um……….. that your sync test with Unit 01 got moved up to today. You'll be coming with Asuka-chan." The major smirked at her double-meaning.

Shinji blinked sleepily. "I know. Father informed me of that last night. But thank you, Misato-san."

"……………………………. Do I want to know?" The purple-haired lady asked with a knowing grin on her face. Sexual tension between them… that would explain things.

"Nani?" The boy shifted and realized a weight was on him. He looked down to see Asuka's head lying on his chest. And with her leg hooked over his the way it was, the pondering as to whether or not the girl was wearing underwear was answered. "Uh……….. it's not what you think. We just slept." I think? I hope!

"Mmmph… Shinji-chan… mmmmmm." The German girl muttered in her sleep. "I didn't realize you were that passionate. You are _so good…"_

The third child's eyes widened in horror. Oh god… did we!? He blushed and looked at Misato. "Um… do we have time for breakfast?"

The major chuckled and nodded. "I picked up some breakfast pastry last night. Don't take too long, we need to leave in about an hour." With that, she closed the door.

Don't take too long? She thinks we're going to… again… or… for the first time… or… oh my! Shinji started to panic.

"You're so easy to tease. You really should make it more challenging for me or I might lose interest." Asuka muttered, sitting up and smirking at the boy.

After several blinks, he realized she had been awake and purposely trying to make Misato think the two had been intimate. "You are unbelievable. Now she'll think we're screwing all the time!"

"So? She'll probably be envious." Unit 02's pilot stood up and looked down at the boy. "Perverted as ever. But I'll forgive you. _This time."_

Shinji looked down. "No, that happens every morning! Really! Asuka-kun! Damn it…" The boy sighed and got up and exited his room. He grabbed a plate with a pastry on it and some milk and settled onto an armchair and calmly chewed at it while planning his day. He looked up as Asuka came out of the wash room and grabbed the other plate and settled on the couch. As they ate, he noticed her legs kept shifting and drifting apart, only to close again moments later. What made it so distracting, other than the expanse of her shapely legs, was that he saw even further up the bottom of her nightshirt at this angle. The sight reminded him a bit of when she had forced herself on him, but it also drew his attention no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. Asuka seemed oblivious to the turmoil she was causing in the third child.

"I wonder why they want us to have simultaneous sync tests." The second child said as she toyed with the last of her pastry.

Shinji shrugged. "I suppose it doesn't matter. We can't do anything about it."

The German girl hissed in frustration and left to get dressed, calling out over her shoulder, "You're so obedient, just like your doll. Can't you ever question your orders without imploding?"

The third child stared at his empty plate deep in thought until Misato came out and nudged him. "Are you going to get dressed or would you rather go to NERV in your pajamas?" She asked. The young Ikari blinked, coming out of his train of thought. Her words sunk in so he quickly apologized and hurried to his room to dress. The major sighed and shook her head, suppressing a grin. "Shinji-kun, you never change."

************************

Rei opened her eyes as she felt a presence looming in the room. Since the nurse had already checked on her a half hour before, and the physical therapist had visited her early that morning, it was most likely the young Ikari. "Shinji-kun?" She asked, turning to look at the arrival.

Gendo Ikari looked down at her, his face unreadable, even to her. "Not exactly."

Rei blinked a few times. Why is the commander here? And where is Shinji? Visiting hours started already. He… promised he would be here. "Ohayo gozaimasu, Ikari-shousei."

"Do you know why I am here, Rei?" The commander asked, his tone grave.

"………………………… Iie. Are you here to see if I am well?" The blue-haired girl asked.

"I am here because you checked into the hospital and had surgery without telling me. If my son had not called, I may not have even been aware of it." Gendo loomed over her with a slight scowl across his countenance. 

Rei remained silent.

"Have you nothing to say?" The commander asked. Rei was one of the few people who knew him well enough to hear the anger in his voice.

"No sir. I will not make excuses." The first child replied.

"Give an explanation then." Ikari ordered.

Rei glanced downwards. She felt uncomfortable sitting there in only her hospital gown, but she wasn't sure why. "Pilot Ikari noticed the bandaging on my hand. He inspected it and found the wound and felt it necessary for me to see a doctor. He immediately brought me here."

"You did not think to call me to inform me of this?" Gendo inquired.

"….. I did not." The girl with the crimson eyes replied.

The commander's hand shot forward, backhanding the child across her cheek so hard she fell out of the bed and crashed against her tray stand which was knocked against the opposite wall. He reached down and yanked her up by her gown where she hung limply, making no moves to defend herself in any way. His other hand came around again, this time slapping her across the face with his palm, then pushed her onto the bed sideways. He held her down like that, though he knew she would not move. "Don't ever forget to call me about something like this again. Do I make myself clear?"

Rei felt fear clutching at her heart, though it was more because of how she was being held down than Commander Ikari's threat. Her robe had slid up from the attacks so everything below her navel was exposed and Gendo was standing between her splayed legs. She wasn't sure why this made her so uncomfortable, but it did nonetheless. "……………………………………………….. Hai. Of course, sir. Gomen nasai." She stated in a monotone voice, nothing betraying the fear she felt.

Though he would never admit it, even to himself, her robotic reply bothered him. The lack of fear in her eyes. The total acceptance. She should have been intimidated by how he was holding her, but she was not, as far as he could tell. It made the action completely pointless. He looked purposely at her sex and frowned. Strange. She could still be a child, from the appearance. He backed away a step, satisfied that she still did not move. "Rei… why are you… bare?"

Her crimson eyes blinked then looked downwards at where the man's gaze was directed. "My S2 organ." Her simple explanation obviously wasn't enough, given his blank stare. "I have no uterus. No ovaries. Therefore, I do not produce sufficient hormone levels to reach full puberty. Did you not know this was a side effect of the Lilith DNA you placed in me?"

I never even considered it. "It was not a concern."

But it is now? Rei stared up at him silently.

Gendo backed away a few more steps. "Is Dr. Akagi aware of your hormonal levels?"

"She explained it to me last year, and also what to expect in the future, commander." The first child replied. My back hurts.

Ikari frowned and took a few steps towards the door then turned to meet the clone's gaze. "You may act freely, as long as it does not interfere with your duties at NERV and to me. But never forget to inform me of important matters again, or I will have you replaced."

"Understood." The girl replied, sitting up on her elbows slowly and carefully, but otherwise not moving since the commander had not given her permission to move yet. Gendo nodded and left without another word. Rei could see that the man was slightly disturbed by what he had discovered, though she was not sure why. Shinji… where are you?

**************************

"Sync test complete." Lt. Ibuki announced. "Pilot Ikari… 91% sync ratio. Pilot Soryu… 49%."

Major Katsuragi sighed. "Extract them. Well, Shinji-kun's is excellent, as ever. Asuka's… at least there was an improvement since last time. The commander instructed me to have Pilot Ikari taken to Akagi-dono for a routine physical. Lt. Ibuki, since you're going that way anyway?"

"Hai, Katsuragi-shousa. It is no trouble at all!" Maya smiled. She left and walked to the men's locker room. She listened but didn't hear a shower running so assumed the boy had just taken a quick one to rinse off the LCL fluid. "Are you decent in there, Shinji-kun?" She called into the room.

Shinji backed his head away from the water's spray and rubbed at his ears. Did someone call me? "Yes?" He called back.

Not realizing the boy had misheard her and only hearing the yes, she entered. Where is he? She walked further into the room with a pretty pout on her lips. She came to the shower area and glanced in, thinking the boy had went in there to grab something he forgot, or something. Her eyes widened when she saw the pilot still showering, in all his naked glory. "Shinji-kun?" She gasped out in surprise. He said he was decent… so embarrassing

The third child turned and stared at Maya in shock, frozen like a deer caught in the headlights. Am I dreaming again? His member stiffened at the thought, and he desperately hoped it was a dream or he'd be eternally shamed. "Maya-chan?"

The lieutenant had been about to step back into the locker area when the familiar tone came from the boy. Chan? Is he… does he have a crush on me? How cute! Oh my… he certainly seems happy to see me. She turned back and raised a questioning eyebrow.

Misinterpreting why she was still standing there, he smiled. Yes! I'm having a… what's the term… lucid dream! Oh… this is going to be great! "You're welcome to join me in the shower, Maya-chan." He gave her his best wolfish grin.

Maya's mouth dropped open in shock. He… oh my. He must be ill! It couldn't be a biological angel invasion, could it? Oh no… poor Shinji-kun! "I… I will wait out here, thank you." Her cheeks burning in embarrassment, she turned and sat down on one of the benches, worry creasing her lovely features. Good thing I'm taking him for a physical.

Once again misunderstanding the older girl, Shinji grabbed his towel and dried off quickly and strolled out with the towel draped over his shoulders, not covering his nudity. The NERV officer had her back to him, so he approached her from behind. "Maya-chan?" Unit 01's pilot asked in a, what he hoped, seductive tone.

Maya turned, expecting to see a fully dressed and apologetic pilot, but instead found her face centimeters away from an erection. Her mouth dropped open in shock again. What the hell!? It was a mistake. Taking it as an invitation, he pressed his penis to her lips and half of it slid into the girl's mouth and choked her. She shoved him away roughly and jumped up and back. "What do you think you're doing, _Pilot Ikari!?"_

Oh shit! Wait… please, please… "Um… I'm trying to make love to you." Please let this be a dream. For the love of the heavens, please let it be a dream! If it isn't… no amount of groveling will ever be enough to gain her forgiveness.

"And what made you think I would want to make love with you, young man!?" She demanded.

I am so dead… "I… am dreaming, aren't I?"

He thinks he's dreaming!? Oh… that means he's dreamed about me before. I'm so flattered! "No, Ikari. You are not dreaming. You are very much awake. And very much naked. I would appreciate if you did not attempt to molest me again. Are we clear?" Maya asked.

With a deep full body blush, the boy covered himself and squeaked out an apology and dressed in record time, apologizing with every breath. "Gomen! Gomen nasai! Domo sumimasen! [The last phrase is a more formal apology]"

"Forget it, Shinji-kun. We'll just write it off as stress and stupidity, ne?" She grinned, taking the edge off the insult.

Shinji slumped down onto the bench, fully dressed and still blushing. "I am ashamed. I honestly thought I was dreaming."

Maya raised an eyebrow. "Have you fantasized about me before, Shinji-kun?"

His blush deepened, giving her the answer. He changed the subject rather than voicing his shameful secret. "Were you looking for me, Ikuki-chuui?"

The lieutenant chuckled softly. I could tease him about this, but it's so cute. I can certainly laugh about this. "Hai. You are to accompany me to see Akagi-dono, who will administer you a physical."

The third child frowned. "A physical? I just had one… a month ago."

:Lt. Ibuki shrugged. "Orders from your father."

"Otou-san?" Shinji blinked in surprise and silently followed the older girl. As he followed her, his eyes narrowed in thought. Is she swaying her hips more than usual, or am I seeing things? Damn it Shinji, quit thinking like that! You've already shamed yourself with her! She's probably going to report me. I deserve it. I'm so fucked up.

"Ikari-kun? My eyes are up here." Maya stated in a teasing tone.

The pilot blinked and realized that since his eyes were slightly downcast (from both shame and watching the swaying of her hips, like he was hypnotized) and the girl had turned around to face him he was now staring at her breasts. "Gomen, Ibuki-chuui! I wasn't, I swear!"

She chuckled. Poor kid, he's got it bad for me. "We're here. After you."

Shinji hurried into the infirmary, finding Dr. Akagi leaning over her desk and studying some papers intently. He noticed that her expression looked darker than usual, and he wasn't sure, but it looked like her eyes were reddened and a little puffy from crying. I wonder what happened? "Ohayo, Akagi-dono."

Ritsuko looked up and noticed the young Ikari as well as Maya, who was smiling at her. "Something I can help you with, Pilot Ikari?"

The pilot blinked in confusion and looked at Lt. Ibuki for help. "The commander wanted him to have a complete physical checkup, sempai."

The blonde doctor scowled at the mention of Gendo. "Well, what the commander wants the commander gets, ne?" She motioned for the boy to get on an exam table. "Have you experienced any changes in your health since your last checkup?"

"No, doctor." Shinji replied.

Dr. Akagi caught a furtive glance towards the lieutenant. She turned to her assistant. "Do you want to try taking a blood sample?"

Maya blinked. "You… want me to take blood, sempai?"

"You _are my assistant, are you not? I think it's time you learn things beyond the MAGI system. Do you disagree?" Ritsuko raised an eyebrow inquisitively._

"No, of course not. Right away, sempai." Several pricks later, the pretty young lieutenant had finally gotten it right and had a blood sample taken. She wiped the excess blood away and put a Band-Aid over the wound. She smiled at the pilot as she finished up. "There, that wasn't too bad, now was it?"

"Iie…" Shinji stared at his feet. Why isn't she angry at me about earlier? Is she really that forgiving?

Poor kid. He's so dreadfully shy and his crush for me is driving him crazy. I wish there was something I could do for him, that didn't involve _doing something with him. The lieutenant turned to look at the doctor who was approaching with a stethoscope._

Ritsuko sat down on a stool and listened to the third child's chest. "Heartrate… a little accelerated. Are you ok, Ikari-kun?"

"Hai… of course, doctor. Really, I'm ok. Nothing wrong." He blushed and avoided Maya's gaze.

The blonde woman looked up at her assistant then back at the pilot, noticing the looks again. "Is there something I should be aware of between you two?"

"I swear I thought I was dreaming! I never meant to do it! I'll grovel at her feet for forgiveness for the rest of my life! I'm so wretched and undeserving!" Shinji cried out all at once.

At the doctor's questioning look, Maya explained. "Um… he sort of thought he was having a dream when I came to get him for the physical. He… misinterpreted my reason for being there." Is that… a flash of jealousy in her eyes? "It was just a misunderstanding. There's no reason for him to be so embarrassed. It was an honest mistake. Frankly, I was flattered that he fantasizes about me. A crush is so cute!"

Shinji's eyes doubled in size and his cheeks did their best cherry impersonations. He stared at his feet, not daring to add to what Maya was saying. I just had a naughty dream or two about her. I'm 15, what does she expect?

"I see." The doctor responded in a cold tone, fixing a glare on the boy. The rest of the physical was spent mostly in silence, except for the blonde woman instructing the lieutenant in several of the procedures she needed to learn how to do. Later, the doctor was looking at the blood sample. "You may go, Ikari-kun. If we need to see you for a follow-up, we'll let you know."

Lt. Ibuki smiled and walked with the boy to the elevator. "See you at your next sync test." She announced brightly.

"Or angel attack." Shinji added.

"Try to think positively. Well, matta ne." She knew she shouldn't have, but it was an impulse and one that made her giggle with devilish glee afterwards, but she leaned forward and gave the boy a tight embrace. She bit her tongue to keep from bursting into laughter when she felt him stiffen.

Shinji stared at her for several moments then coughed. "Uh… matta ne, Ibuki-chuui." So soft and warm… oh man. I hate myself sometimes.

"Maya is fine, Shinji-kun." She said, grinning despite his discomfort.

"Oh… uh…" He blushed furiously and hurried off, apologizing again.

The lovely young officer snickered and returned to her duties, cataloguing the boys expression in her All Time Best 10 Most Adorable Moments.

Ritsuko frowned as she looked over the results of the blood test and decided to look at his blood under a microscope. She lifted her head back up and tapped the counter thoughtfully. "That's rather odd."

"Sempai?" Lt. Ibuki asked, looking up from her monitor.

The doctor wiped the lenses of the microscope down again, even though she had just cleaned them, then looked again. "Come, take a look at this."

The girl frowned and approached, leaning over to look into the microscope. "Chigau! Did I mess up? I'm sorry! It's contaminated, ne?"

Dr. Akagi shook her head. "You drew the blood correctly. The sample is not contaminated."

Maya blinked and looked at the blood sample again. "What does it mean?"

"I'd say when Ikari-kun regained his physical form after losing his ego image in Unit 01, he came back slightly different. Perhaps he began a series of changes. They were not noticeable when I examined him after the incident. Or perhaps some other factors are causing mutations. I will investigate." The doctor stated thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should examine Rei again as well. This may be a result of the 16th angel's infestation."

The lieutenant frowned and struggled to make a decision, before cautiously stating, "I believe he was acting strangely earlier."

Ritsuko's eyebrows rose up inquisitively. "How so?"

The dark haired girl chewed her lip and sat down on a nearby bench. "I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone, because he was under the impression that he was dreaming. And you know, it's so cute that he has a crush on me! But… I promised not to say…"

Rather than demanding to know, the older woman simply sat down in front of her and waited. She knew the girl would tell her.

"….. Well, first he invited me into the shower with him." Maya explained, blushing from embarrassment.

"Ikari-kun?! That seems rather… unlike him." The doctor resisted the urge to impatiently demand to know what happened.

"Hai… when I refused, I sat down to wait for him to come out. I thought perhaps he was joking, or wasn't feeling well. He approached me and when I turned to speak to him… I guess he misunderstood, and thought I wanted to give him oral sex…" She wet her lips, though whether from the memory or because nervousness was drying them, the other woman couldn't tell.

"He asked you for fellacio?" The blonde asked in disbelief.

"……… Not exactly." The lieutenant replied, wincing in sympathy for the poor boy and his hopeless crush on her. She could see the impatience on the older woman's face so she decided she had best say it and be done with it. "Well… you have to understand, I turned and I was so shocked at having a penis in my face that my mouth dropped open in shock……… and…………. well…………." Ritsuko blinked a few times but didn't interrupt so Maya finally had to say it. "He inserted his penis into my mouth."

Dr. Akagi was shocked, though whether more towards the younger girl or the pilot, she couldn't be sure. "You sucked him off?!" She bluntly exclaimed.

"Nani? No! I pushed him away and demanded to know what was wrong with him. He was mortified and said he thought he was dreaming. For some reason, he thought he was having a sexual fantasy about me." The dark haired girl quickly explained.

The doctor sighed and rubbed her temples, trying to sort out her conflicting emotions. "I should look at his neurotransmitter levels then. It's possible that he was having an episode of somnambulism." Maya gave her a blank stare. "Sleep walking."

"Oh! Actually… you might be right. How strange!" The younger girl exclaimed, raising a hand to her mouth in surprise.

"I'll have Ikari come in for a more thorough examination. I may as well have Ayanami in as well. I haven't had a chance to examine her fully since the incident with the 16th angel. She's been in the hospital or recovering at home the whole time." Ritsuko scowled at the thought of the blue-haired girl, but she knew that it was just transferred anger and frustration concerning Gendo so she tried to suppress any ill feelings towards the girl. It was very hard. "I was going to meet up with Misa-chan for dinner tonight anyway, I may as well inform her of needing to see Ikari again. Ayanami… I'll have to see if she has been released yet."

"Oh… Katsuragi-shousa?" Maya looked down at the floor to the left, not doing a very good job at hiding her disappointment.

"Hai………………… do you want to come with me?" The doctor asked, catching the change in attitude.

Maya's face instantly brightened. "Hai semsei! Arigato gozaimasu! [Thank you for what you are doing]" She paused and looked crestfallen again. "Oh, I'll just be in the way. I don't want to get between your…………. friendship with the major."

Dr. Akagi frowned. "Nonsense. You'll join me as my date. Misa-chan won't mind a bit. She'd likely love to have someone else to talk to."

Maya couldn't stop blushing at the blonde's reference to her being a date. "Arigato. You are too kind."

"We have some work to finish up. We'll leave a little early today so we can get changed." Ritsuko decided aloud.

"Hai." The lieutenant agreed, unable to keep herself from glowing for the rest of the day.

*************************

"So how are you feeling today, Asuka?" Dr. Kagame asked, smiling in greeting at the pilot as she sat down in the chair facing his desk.

She shifted around until she was comfortable before answering. "Es geht mir gut, Herr Doktor. Und Sie?"

"I'm well, thank you. Would you mind trying to remain only in Japanese, please?" The doctor asked.

The red-haired girl shrugged. "But of course."

There was silence for a minute as the therapist waited to see if the girl would begin talking on her own, but she stared at him expectantly so it was up to him to begin the session. "Are you adjusting well to the medication?"

"It makes me horny." The girl deadpanned.

"Pardon me?" He asked, peering up at her over his spectacles.

"It makes me horny." Asuka repeated a little more slowly this time.

The psychiatrist blinked several times then realized what was going on. "Oh, I see. No, technically you were already feeling… er… desirous, but you were too depressed to notice. The medication is balancing your neurotransmitter levels so you're beginning to notice things like that again. Does it bother you?"

The German girl shrugged and leaned back in the chair and rested her feet up on his desk, despite the scowl sent her way for the action. "It's a little distracting. But nothing I can't handle. The dizziness has passed. I'm getting hungry a lot more often now, though. Is that because I didn't notice it when I was depressed, as well?"

"Hai. Though technically you are still depressed. It's sort of a matter of the chicken and the egg. Events in your life brought the depression and that caused the chemical imbalance that deepened and worsened the depression. Though the chemical levels are beginning to return to normal, and they won't be completely normal for quite a while, the causes of your depression are still there. That is why you come here for therapy, to address those issues." Dr. Kagame explained.

The second child looked over at the window and twirled a lock of hair around one finger, obviously bored. "I slept with Shinji last night." She stated out of the blue.

The doctor frowned. She's toying with me. "How do you feel about that? Your first sexual experience, since you said you were a virgin?"

Unit 02's pilot looked at the therapist and narrowed her eyes, offended by his comment. "I did not lie. I am a virgin. We did not have sex, we merely slept in the same bed. And to answer your question… it was restful. I don't think I've slept that soundly in years. It was………. comforting. But it wasn't sexual."

"I see." He looked at his notes for a moment then back up at the pilot. "Tell me more about your relationship with Pilot Ikari. Do you feel romantically or sexually interested in him?"

"Our relationship is… complicated. In many ways he is like a brother. But, he is attractive, when he's not being meek and apologetic. I've never admitted this aloud, but I desire him when he pilots the Eva and I see his passion. He always seems to have a much stronger will when he's piloting. Outside, he apologizes constantly, he stares at the floor, he never questions orders. It's like he's two different people. The brave and noble pilot, and the meek and scared child. He both allures and disgusts me. Does that answer your question, Herr Doktor?" Asuka raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

The doctor nodded. "Somewhat. So you find yourself frustrated when he becomes meek on the outside, in the real world? Is this why you are always teasing and mocking him, and becoming aggressive with him?

"Ja. I'm trying to make him show some backbone. He has it in him, I've _seen it. But no matter what I do, he just apologizes and scurries about like a puppy that has been kicked one too many times. I don't know what to do with him anymore. I want him to…" She trailed off. She wasn't ready for that admission yet._

"You understand that it was the way he was raised?" Dr. Kagame asked.

The German girl blinked. "Nani?"

"In our culture, we Japanese offer apologies and sympathies very often. It is more a courtesy than anything else, often enough. Pilot Ikari is young, and thus not in a position to be anything but subservient to the majority of the city. He is polite and well-mannered. You take his actions as a weakness because in your culture, apology is an admission of weakness, of guilt. In our culture, it is not. It is a sign of strength of character. You have to understand that difference to understand why he acts that way." The therapist explained.

The second child snorted and brought her feet back down to the ground. "That may be, but I have told him that he does not have to act that way around me. He knows that, yet still he says excuse me and sorry every other word. He never opens up to me. It frustrates me. I feel like slapping him when he does that."

"Ikari-kun reminds me of a samurai, of ancient Japan." The therapist observed, surprising the girl.

"A samurai!? They were warriors. Shinji is a meek, whiny child!" The pilot protested.

A momentary grin splayed across the psychiatrist's lips. He had seen the sudden interest in her eyes, then the immediate defense mechanism of equating the boy to a child. He was beginning to read her more easily now. Given how expressive she was, unlike many of his Japanese patients, this made it rather easy. "Pilot Ikari _is a warrior. He battles the angels, risking his life and being one of the only hopes for the entire human race. That is an awesome responsibility for anyone, and especially to a 14 year old child."_

"He turned 15 a while ago." Asuka corrected him.

"Even still. My point is, on the battlefield, samurai were intense warriors. Fierce, determined, and always ready to accept their death if it came. But off the battlefield, they were cultured, refined, polite. They wrote poetry, they took part in matters of the court, and they were completely subservient to their lords and cowed before any noble without feeling shamed for doing so. They had to balance both aspects of their lives in order to live in harmony." The man explained. "Ikari is like that as well. This is why he does not show you his ferocity, because you are not an enemy. If you keep pushing him you may _become his enemy and I think you do not wish this to happen."_

The pilot frowned in thought. "So what are you saying?"

"Accept him for who he is, because he is not weak as you think. He is showing remarkable strength of character to keep the traits on and off the battlefield separate." The doctor elaborated.

She frowned and shrugged. "I guess I can try. I don't know if I buy that story though." She stared at her fingers, lost in thought.

"A change of subject, would you like to talk about your relationship with Katsuragi-shousa?" Dr. Kagame asked.

"Did we not already cover this? She is like a big sister. Not a mother. We talked about this last time." The pilot rolled her eyes.

"But I was thinking perhaps you would say more. Do you try to please her?" He asked.

"Not at home, no. But when we are at NERV, yes. She is my commanding officer. I try to do a good job. Lives depend on me doing a good job." Asuka stated confidently.

"Do you feel attracted to her?" The doctor asked.

Asuka blinked several times. "Sexually?"

"If that is how you choose to interpret it, yes." He replied.

Asuka bit her lip thoughtfully. "Why would you ask me that? Do you think I am a closet lesbian or something?"

He scribbled down some notes and looked back up, noticing she was sitting up higher in her seat and trying to not be obvious about trying to see what he wrote. From what he knew about her, she didn't read kanji all that well so she wasn't likely to understand half of it anyway. "What I think does not matter. Your avoidance at answering the question gives me pause, however."

"I don't think of her that way. She is like a sister, as I already told you. I am not a lesbian. I already told you I was sexually attracted to Kaji and Shinji." Irritation seemed to nearly ignite sparks from her eyes.

"I did not say anything about believing you to be a lesbian. You are the one jumping to that conclusion. Whether or not you are, you should understand that at your age most girls and even many boys have not explored their own sexuality enough to make a proper judgment on sexual preference. Thus, when aroused you are likely to consider any option as viable, whether you are attracted to someone or not. It doesn't necessarily mean anything." Dr. Kagame explained. "Now, when I asked you if you were attracted to her, you could have just as easily said you felt comfortable with her, or that you became instant friends, or that you never saw eye to eye. Instead, you took it as a question of sexual interest." 

"I told you the medication was making me horny." The second child said as a way to defend herself.

"You are missing the point. I am not saying you are sexually attracted to Katsuragi-shousa. I am saying you are still in an undefined area in your sexuality and you should try not to feel uncomfortable with that. It is normal." The doctor tried to not become frustrated, but he was beginning to worry that the culture differences and the slight language barrier of speaking in the girl's second language would present more misunderstandings in the future. There wasn't much that could be done about it, however.

Asuka stared at him silently then shrugged it off. "Change of subject, please. This one is tiresome."

"Hai… would you care to discuss your relationship with Ayanami-kun?" The man asked.

"What about Wonder Girl?" The German girl inquired, stiffening slightly.

"You feel resentful of her. Why?" He inquired.

The pilot looked over at the window for several moments then back at the doctor. "Several reasons. She is cold, emotionless, follows orders without thought or question, sucks up to the commander, and acts superior to everyone else, especially me."

"So she is quiet, thoughtful, obedient, respectful to authority, and passive." Dr. Kagame said as way of interpretation.

"That is not what I said, Herr Doktor." The second child growled.

"Hai, I know. But it was another way of interpreting what you did say. You dislike her because she did not warm up to you. She did not attempt to become your friend. She is a very introverted and introspective girl. She is the type that picks her friends very carefully and remains loyal through adversity and peace. She is very dissimilar to you, and perhaps that is why you only see the negative traits in her." The psychiatrist explained.

"So you are a member of the Wonder Girl fan club as well, I see." The pilot observed, shifting in the chair to get comfortable again.

The doctor made a few notes then inquired, "Who else would you say is a member of this fan club."

"Commander Ikari, of course. He kisses her perfect little ass all the time, when she's not kissing his. Shinji worships the ground she walks on, as well." Asuka replied.

"Two interesting observations about what you just said…" The doctor began.

"Of course. Here comes the spin." The pilot interrupted.

"Indeed. First, you described her posterior as being perfect. In essence, describing her as being perfect. You perhaps feel inferior to her in some ways, and this bothers you. This brings out the defensive reactions of being antagonistic with her." Dr. Kagame explained.

"Or, I just think she has a nice ass." The red-haired girl retorted.

"……….. Of course. Secondly, you mentioned Pilot Ikari's feelings of her as being in awe. I would say that it is likely your feelings for Ikari, whatever they may be, make you feel jealous of his attention towards Ayanami. After all, when he is looking at her, he is not looking at you, as you feel he should be." The doctor continued.

"Or… or…………… he's just a bastard that would rather fuck that little doll instead of me." The second child could think of no other retorts than that.

"Interesting…." The therapist jotted down a note. "You claimed that the feelings between Ikari-kun and yourself were not sexual. And yet, you just now expressed the desire that he would wish to have sexual relations with yourself rather than Ayanami-kun."

"It's not like that." The red-haired girl protested.

Lacing his fingers together, unknowingly imitating Ikari Gendo, he leaned forward. "Explain it to me then."

Asuka sighed in frustration and shifted in her chair again. "You really should get more comfortable chairs." She paused and waited to see if he'd fall for the change of subject, but he remained silent. "Fine. I don't know how else to relate to him, ok? We fight, we compete, and every great once in a while, we talk as friends. But with Ayanami, he never fights with her. They never feel the need to compete, content to work as a team. And they are so comfortable with each other, they don't even need to talk. So what do I have? Nothing. The only way I can think of to relate to him is affection and sex. But offering him some pussy to get him to notice me as something other than the 'Red-Haired Demon of Death' does not mean that I am actually interested in having him as a lover. It's just…………… it's all I have." She slouched down in her chair, grumbling under her breath.

"So it is an extension of your loneliness." The therapist observed. He waited for confirmation or rejection, but none was given. "Then I challenge you with something." This caught her attention and her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "The next time you feel the need to use violence or sex to gain his attention, instead give him a gentle hug and say you care about him. Tell him that his friendship is important to you. Don't kiss him, don't grab him in a sexual manner or encourage him to do the same. Just give him an affectionate hug and kind words. Do you accept this challenge?"

"I can't do that." The girl stated, shaking her head with a frown.

He was learning how to push her buttons, however. It was frightfully easy how quickly a psychiatrist could learn to manipulate people. "Ah, I see. You are afraid. Such a simple thing to be scared of. Fine then."

"I am not afraid!" The Unit 02's pilot declared, sitting up and leaning forward to slam her palms down on the desk before her. She narrowed her eyes when she saw his skeptical expression. "Fine, I accept your little challenge. It is a simple matter for me. But if he misinterprets and starts humping my leg like the hentai no baka that he is, I will blame you."

Dr. Kagame nodded. "Agreed, then. Now, we still have a little time so I wish to talk about one last person. Your mother."

"My aunt? She was decent enough. Nothing really I can say about her. She provided a place for me to live while I went to university and underwent pilot training. I did not have much of a relationship with her." Asuka stated with an indifferent shrug.

"Ihre Mutter. Nicht Ihre Tante. [Your mother. Not your aunt.]" Dr. Kagame said firmly. He knew she did not misunderstand him, but he had to play her game this time.

"My aunt _was my mother those last few years. I did not misunderstand you, Herr Doktor. Your pronunciation is atrocious, by the way." The red-haired girl looked up at the clock and frowned, seeing they still had a little time left._

"I asked about your mother, though. The woman who gave you life. Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin." The man pressed. He could see the turmoil in her eyes and in her mannerisms, but this was an important step. It would likely set them back for a few sessions, but it was worth it in the long run.

"I do not wish to speak of her." The second child insisted.

"We will speak of her, regardless. Or I will revoke your pilot status. Tell me something about her." Dr. Kagame requested.

Asuka shifted in her seat again and fidgeted, clearly agitated. Her breathing rate had increased as well. "She died. There, you happy? I would like to leave now."

"Permission denied. How did she die?" He knew how she died, but he had to get her to say it. To speak of it and get it out of the bottle she had wedged it into.

"So, were you ever married? Were you divorced, are you a widow? Do you have children?" The second child had twisted a lock of hair painfully tight around her finger in her attempt to appear nonchalant and she was beginning to shake involuntarily. She coughed nervously and shifted in her chair again.

"How did your mother die, Asuka-san. Tell me about it. How did it make you feel? What did you do when she died?" The psychiatrist was on dangerous ground and he knew it. But he felt he had to press her until she spoke on it.

Asuka stood up and threw her chair across the room where it slammed into the wall and knocked one of the degrees off the wall as well as a painting. "Damn chair! Can't you get something decent to sit in!?"

"Calm down, and tell me what happened to your mother, Asuka-san." The therapist spoke in a gentle tone.

The pilot slammed her hands on the desk and leaned forward to intimidate him. "I said I will not speak of her. Are you deaf!?"

Dr. Kagame stood as well and placed his hands over hers to hold her in place. "Tell me about your mother, Asuka. Say it."

The girl thrashed about and tried to yank her hands from under his, but his grasp was like steel. She growled and considered head butting him, but he was careful to keep his head far enough away from hers to make the move futile. "Let me go, damn it!"

"Not until you tell me about your mother." He stated in a calm tone.

"Fick dich, arschloch! Leck mich am Arsch! Mach es dir selber! [A bunch of curses… heh. If you must have a translation… Fuck you, asshole! Lick my ass! Go fuck yourself!]" She cried, obscenities flying out as fast as she could think of them and tears were beginning to spill from her eyes.

"Such language. Now, calm yourself and tell me about your mother and I will let you go." Dr. Kagame still spoke in a gentle tone.

She struggled for several moments longer, but she was trapped. Finally, she shouted the words he wanted to hear as loudly as she could, in a hysterically shrill voice. "Fine! My fucking mother was crazy! She kept talking to this little stupid doll, thinking it was me! The day I found out I was chosen as an Eva pilot, I ran home to tell my mother and she had hung herself, as well as the doll she had thought was me! Is that what you wanted to hear, you piece of shit!? Is that what you fucking wanted to hear?! She killed herself and if she hadn't have been as fucked up as she was, she would have killed me too! Now are you happy?! Let me go!" She was distraught and shaking, her fight or flight responses were screaming at her to no avail.

"Thank you. Yes, that was what I wanted to hear. Now, I want you to calm down. I will not let you leave until you are calm. I am afraid you will hurt yourself or have an accident if you leave as distressed as you are now. So I want you to take some deep breaths. Let yourself cry. Do whatever you have to do to compose yourself." The doctor spoke in a soothing tone in an attempt to calm her down.

"Just let me go." Asuka pleaded in a weak and defeated tone.

"Of course. But you are not leaving until you are calm. I don't want you accidentally stepping in front of the subway train or something." The therapist released his hold on her hands, and as he expected, she crumbled to the floor and hugged her knees to her chest and sobbed. He moved around the desk and knelt down next to her and put his arms around her shoulders and patted her back, whispering soothing words. He already knew that she would be antagonistic for at least one or two sessions, if not longer. But, it was all in the name of progress.

"I'm not weak." The second child whispered, her voice breaking from the sobbing.

"I know… I know. You're strong. You've survived a great deal. You're strong. I'm proud of you." He was glad he didn't have any patients until later that day, because Asuka didn't move for nearly two hours. When she finally left, she did so wordlessly. She looked haunted, but calm. It was as good as she was going to get for a while.

*************************

Rei perked up as someone started to enter her room but she slumped back down when she saw it was the on call nurse again. He smiled at her and checked her IV bag. "Feeling ok, Ayanami-san?" He asked.

"Hai." She had tried to ignore him earlier when he asked her, but since he wasn't familiar with her mannerisms, he thought something was wrong and ran to get a doctor. So, to avoid any more embarrassment, she made sure she replied even though she was attempting to will the man to leave her alone. Every time he entered the room, he grated her nerves. Where are you, Shinji? It's approaching mid-afternoon already. You promised you would be here. Have you forgotten about me already? She was still unsure of what to think about Commander Ikari's strange behavior that morning, but she was trying not to contemplate it too deeply. She hated having to think about things she couldn't do anything about.

"Any pain? You haven't pressed the button to release extra medication even once. It won't do you any good to be in pain, young lady." The nurse stated, frowning down at her in what he considered a charming manner. And likely on any other patient it would have been, but he was talking to Ayanami Rei now. And she was agitated by him.

"I am well. I do not require any further medication." She stated in a flat tone. LEAVE!

"All right then. If you start feeling some pain, don't hesitate to hit that button. It won't overmedicate you. Remember, you can hit it every ten minutes if you need to." He smiled at her as he checked her blood pressure.

She stared at him silently. I know. I'm not a baka. LEAVE ME ALONE!

"Your pressure is still a little low." The nurse stated.

"That is normal for me." As I told you the last four times you took it and told me it was low. The first child wondered briefly if this was some test on her patience.

"So you say… so you say. Your pulse is elevated as well." He reported.

"That is normal for me." She repeated in the same tone as before. Are you brainless?! I've said several times now that my pulse is always elevated. Yours would be too if you had a Super Solenoid organ pumping liquid energy into your bloodstream as well as generating an AT field.

"Anything you need? Help to the bathroom? Help washing? A snack perhaps? I know that liquid diet isn't the most filling." He smiled at her, turning his charm up to its maximum level.

Still, she remained unaffected. "I require nothing at this time." She stated emotionlessly.

"All right then. Call me if you need anything." He flashed her his pearly whites again and left.

Rei gritted her teeth together to keep from snapping when the man reentered the room. She looked up, her eyes intense despite how hard she tried to remain expressionless, and saw Shinji standing there, looking horrified by the look on her face. "Konnichiwa Rei-kun… gomen nasai. I got here as quickly as I could."

She glanced at the clock, noting it was nearly 15:00. She looked back at him. "…………………………"

The third child sighed and trudged into the room. "I had a sync test this morning. Father set it up last minute last night. Afterwards they made me go have a complete physical. I tried getting a taxi to take me from NERV to the hospital, but the drivers that stopped left again once they saw me."

Rei's eyes narrowed and she looked at him, noting that he was drenched in sweat. He looks like he… ran here from NERV. Oh my. "It is fine, Shinji-kun. I can leave at any time. Would you like to go ahead and leave, or do you require some time to rest?"

The pilot had already collapsed into a chair and a guilty look crossed his face as he realized she would want to leave as soon as possible. "Just give me a minute to catch my breath and I'll go sign your discharge papers."

Rei nodded and watched his face, noting how flushed he was. He stood when the first child knew he was still tired and shuffled down the hall and the elevator to sign her out. The annoying nurse came in a few minutes later. "I heard you're leaving us! Oh no! Well, let's get you all ready to go. Let's get this old IV needle out. Would you like some help getting dressed?"

"I am capable of dressing on my own." Rei stated flatly.

"Suit yourself. Just thought I'd ask. You take care of that pretty little hand of yours, you hear?" He smiled again.

What is the point of asking someone if they can hear you? If they cannot, how would they know you asked? "……………….."

"Well I can see you're tired and ready to leave. Go ahead and get changed, use the bathroom, whatever you need to do. I'm sure your little boyfriend will be back soon enough. You press that call button if you need me. You get better soon!" He strolled out. For all appearances, he seemed about ready to burst into song. He was _that annoying._

The red-eyed girl dressed quickly, glad to be getting away from the jovial nurse and his many comments about her 'lovely red eyes' and 'darling little hair.' She used the toilet and sat down on the edge of the bed, absentmindedly rubbing the pad of her thumb over the bandages covering her hand. Her S2 organ had healed the wound sufficiently so that it was now itching like crazy. It felt very much like a mass of insects were crawling around on the wound and prodding at the scabs with their sharp jaws. It took quite a bit of concentration to keep from scratching the wound. She sighed inwardly with relief, noticing he had a wheelchair and a pharmacy bag. "I believe I can walk, Shinji-kun." Rei stated.

"Possibly, but I thought we'd go for a walk and get some fresh air. You can be self-reliant later. For now, spend some time with me. Indulge me in a little caretaker blues." Unit 01's pilot grinned.

Rei nodded, getting into the wheelchair without any further arguments. It was strange for her to be wheeled around when she knew she was capable of walking, though slowly and with the occasional assist by an inanimate object or a friendly fellow pilot… Perhaps it is best that I just relax and let Shinji-kun take me where he wants to.

They reached the outside and moved at a strolling pace. Though she was a bit curious what their destination was, she remained silent. They stopped briefly as they passed a restaurant. "Are you hungry, Rei-kun?" Shinji inquired.

The first child glanced briefly down and then nodded. "Hai." The only thing I've been given to eat today was juice, coffee, beef broth which I did not have, and gelatin.

They entered the restaurant and were greeted by a lovely young lady. "Greetings. Thank you for gracing our humble restaurant!" The girl announced. "You are in luck today. We are one of the only two restaurants still in operation ever since the explosion a few days ago. A table for just the two of you?"

"Hai." The young Ikari replied. As they were taken to their table, they did not pass very many people. Most of those they did pass were NERV personnel. "It's so deserted. It's a bit unsettling." The boy remarked.

Rei remained silent. Though she was actually relieved that the majority of the crowded populace had left, she wished they had not taken their businesses with them. It made things rather inconvenient.

Moments after they were seated, serving platters with various meats, vegetables, sauces, rice and noodles were brought out, as well as miso soup, both with tofu and seaweed as well as plain. "Is there anything special you want brought to you from our humble kitchen, Sir?" The waiter asked after a bow.

Shinji glanced around at what they had. "Ah… sembei, if you have it? Rei-kun, anything additional you would like?"

"This is more than sufficient." The first child responded.

The third child nodded at the waiter who left to get the rice cracker treats. "I hope the extra time you spent at the hospital was not too bad." He apologized again for the delay and the inconvenience.

"It could not be helped." Rei responded. She frowned at her left hand. She liked using that hand with chopsticks, but it was bandaged up and likely still too weak to hold the utensils even if it weren't. She fumbled with the sticks for several long moments, dropping them twice before she adjusted to using her right hand. They ate in relative silence, the girl noticing that the young Ikari ate in a manner that made it obvious he was very hungry. She found it amusing and gave him a gentle smile.

"Gomen. I did not eat very much for breakfast." The pilot stated. A piece of pastry was a rather poor breakfast, especially when one is distracted by one's thoughts and tantalizing glimpses of nubile flesh.

"You are healthy, I trust?" Rei asked, finally breaking a nearly ten minute silence. It had been a comfortable one, but curiosity had proven too great for the girl.

"Nani?" Shinji blinked in surprise then realized she was asking about the physical. "As far as I know. Akagi-dono and Maya-san did not say otherwise."

The first child froze as she was about to pop a rice ball into her mouth and set it down gently. "Maya-san?" For a reason she could not quite understand, the boy being on a first name basis with the attractive young lieutenant bothered her.

"Gomen. Ibuki-san. She told me to use her personal name as I was leaving." He blushed and tried not to think about the earlier events between himself and the older girl.

"………………………………………………. I did not realize you were on such a friendly basis with her." The remark was almost a catty remark, though it only had the slightest of edge to it. Otherwise, it was her normal soft and emotionless tone.

"I suppose it just happened today. We just… I guess she wants to be my friend." He chewed on a strip of seasoned chicken and noticed the girl's posture had stiffened somewhat. It's hard to read her, but I think she's upset at me? "Are you ok with that, Rei-kun?"

"……………. Of course." The girl responded automatically. What led to such familiarity? I don't really want to know.

"I really enjoy your company, Rei-kun." The third child bit his lip nervously and hoped it would not upset her.

It had the opposite effect, bringing back the soft smile to her countenance. It was the same smile she gave him when he had ripped open the hatch to her entry plug after Unit 00 had been badly damaged fighting the 5th angel. And it made the boy feel… complete. The rest of the meal was passed in silence, save for the sounds of eating, then they were walking again. Or rather, Shinji was walking and Rei was being pushed in her wheelchair.

The third child was walking with purpose now, no longer distracted by the rumblings of his empty stomach. The blue-haired girl seemed not to notice the change, but soon enough they entered a cemetery.

The first grave they stopped at was that of Ikari Yui. The first child watched the dark haired boy kneel down and lower his head in reverence and place a sembei cracker on the top of her gravestone. "These were her favorite." The young Ikari stated for the girl's benefit.

She watched him curiously. He played his roles in society very well. The quiet apologetic child one minute, the wrathful and brave warrior the next, then the calm and confident restaurant patron, and now finally the reverent and dutiful son. It was a world, Rei realized, that Asuka would never understand. Each was a reflection of Shinji, yet none were the true Shinji. She saw into that truth when she gazed into his troubled eyes. It was a world she wanted to be a part of, yet one she hated at the same time. She did not understand her feelings. "You miss her." The first child stated the obvious.

Unit 01's pilot sat on his ankles and nodded. "Hai. Every day. Especially times like now."

"Times like now?" The crimson-eyed girl asked.

"Mother… I would like for you to meet Ayanami Rei. She is important to me. She is my best friend. And… I have feelings for her. I… ok, I can't describe the depth of them now, but you can see into my heart, mother. You know. I miss you. Rest well." He bowed his head and ran his fingers over the letters carved into the stone then stood up. He flashed a quick smile at the other pilot, noticing that her eyes were wide in… he wasn't sure. Shock? Maybe a bit of confusion. 

He wheeled her further into the cemetery, towards the newest graves in the back. "One more stop before we go home." Moments later, he was kneeling before Toji Suzuhara's grave. "I'm sorry, Toji-kun. You did not deserve to die. I hope you are finding peace and happiness on the other side." He placed a sesame seed rice ball on top of the deceased boy's headstone, the image of his friend being crushed inside the entry plug forever burned into his memory. "Rest well." He turned to kneel in front of Rei. "It's all my fault, Rei-kun. If I had fought the 13th angel and made sure the pilot got out safely, Toji-kun would still be alive today. I failed him." [AN: Yes, in this storyline Toji lost his life, not just a limb or two.]

The blue-haired girl shook her head once. "No… it is not. You should not blame yourself, Shinji-kun." Such pain and sorrow. All because of the dummy plug. All because of… me. "It was the dummy plug, Shinji-kun. Not you. Do not blame yourself."

"I hate that fucking dummy plug!" The third child growled vehemently.

"……………………………………………….. There is something I must tell you about the dummy plug." The girl paused, seeing the other pilot's eyes fixed intently on her own. She forced herself to continue a few moments later. Just tell him! "The system was based on me. On my psyche. It is essentially me, without a soul."

The young Ikari stared at Ayanami for several long moments before asking, "So… you're saying you are responsible for causing me to crush my friend in my Eva's hand."

"……………………………………………………… Hai."

Shinji's hand came up, ready to strike the girl across the face. She met his eyes with her own for a few moments then look away. She would accept her punishment. It never came, as the boy forced his hand back to his side. No matter the offense, he could never bring himself to strike her. Anyone but her. "I will take you home." Was all he said. He wheeled her home and made sure she was in bed and comfortable then left without another word. Rei sighed and slumped down in the bed, tears trickling from here eyes unbidden.

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Lots of stuff going on in this long chapter. Heh. Hope you all enjoyed. Oh, and I know I said Kaoru would appear a few chapters ago, but Rei convinced me to wait. She has more pull with me then Nagisa-san, so needless to say I waited. However, he _will appear in the next chapter. Rei ok'd it, and thus it will be sure this time. Heh. Also, Shinji and Asuka, Misato and Ritsuko and Maya, and likely some other wacky stuff. Bye for now!_


	12. Interludes: Part 1 The Red Haired Demon...

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Bah… with all the times I said "Es geht mir gut, und Sie?" while in Germany, I still frelled up that line. I'll blame it on the little to no sleep I've been getting recently. Heh Well I went back over the story and re-read and proofread all the chapters. Fixed all the grammar errors I found and a plot inconsistency or two, such as Rei's mysterious femur fracture that healed completely in less than an hour… haha So changed the femur fracture for a concussion which made more sense. I think I got all the errors, but who knows? Hmm I've noticed at least one person, perhaps several make references to the 15th and 16th angels as being a future occurrence in this story. I'm guessing that person(s) did not read the first chapter… haha. The story started right as the 16th angel was invading Rei. Go back and read it, silly person(s). Teehee. As for this chapter, it takes place in the past, between the events of the 6th angel, where the story initially split off and covering some of the events up to chapter 1. There will likely be one or two more interludes later on as the story requires them. But this is the first. Teehee. And so it begins.

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 12: Interludes: Part 1 - The Red Haired Demon Bitch from Hell

"Amazing how in sync they are." Lt. Ibuki murmured. She coughed and reported more loudly, "Pilot Ikari's sync ratio.. 59%. Pilot Ayanami's… 59%. Even their heart rates are exactly the same."

"Angel destruction confirmed." Makoto reported.

"I could have done that too." Asuka grumbled. She frowned at herself. "Get into my plugsuit and into this nasty LCL for nothing."

"You were on standby, Pilot Soryu. That is hardly nothing." Misato chided her from the control room. She gave the order for the girl to be extracted and went about the normal post-angel attack business.

The German girl grumbled to herself as she walked into the women's locker room and stripped off her plugsuit and tossed it into the wash bin. She stepped into the shower and washed the LCL fluid off her and especially out of her hair. Just as she was rinsing the shampoo out of her hair she heard the door open and quiet footsteps in the locker area. Must be Wonder Girl.

Rei appeared a moment later and walked up beside the other pilot and turned on the spray. She didn't even acknowledge Unit 02's pilot.

"Guten tag." Asuka greeted. We have to be pilots together, we can at least be civil.

The blue-haired girl glanced over at her with a sideways glance. She didn't respond right away, but after wetting her hair down she finally replied in a monotone voice, "Tag."

"Wie geht's?" The red-haired pilot inquired, persisting in a false sweet tone. The first child scrubbed her skin clean and remained silent. Asuka growled softly and stepped in front of her and leaned forward until their noses were a centimeter from touching. "I asked you a question, kleines Mädchen [little girl]. It is polite to respond."

"What is the purpose of asking me how I am if you can clearly see I am healthy? I do not think you truly wish to know the answer to that question, regardless." Unit 00's pilot stated matter-of-factly.

"But it is _polite." The second child reiterated._

"It is also polite not to place one's face so closely in front of another's without permission. The only purpose for such an act is either to inspect me for medical reasons or to kiss me. Which is it, Pilot Soryu?" Rei asked with a slightly upraised eyebrow. It was a challenging question, despite the lack of change in her tone.

Asuka scowled. She suddenly grabbed the first child and pressed their lips together and held her tightly. She expected the other girl to either squirm and shove her away or even possibly to respond, but instead she remained passive and did not move. The German girl backed away with a frown and watched as the other pilot began to wash her hair. "That's what you get for challenging me, Wonder Girl." She proclaimed.

"Indeed." Rei stated, seemingly ignoring that the other girl had just kissed her.

The red-haired pilot scowled and stepped back into her own shower spray and rubbed conditioner into her hair. She didn't even react. What's her deal? "So how did you like living with Shinji-kun? Did you two get along well?"

"We accomplished our mission." The first child responded as she applied conditioner to her own hair. After she was done she sniffed at her arm and picked up the sponge again and washed again.

"Do you have some sort of problem with me, Ayanami? Have I offended you in some manner?" Asuka demanded.

The other girl looked over at her with her crimson-hued eyes for several moments before responding. "It would not matter if you had, Soryu. But you have not offended me in any manner."

The German girl frowned as she rinsed out her hair and ran her fingers through the long red strands. "Then why do you talk down to me like I'm a piece of Scheiße on the bottom of your shoe? I'm sick of it."

Rei rinsed the suds off her skin. "I do not believe I treat you any differently than anyone else, Soryu. If I am ordered to treat you differently, than I shall."

The second child stuck her face into the other girl's again and was frustrated when again she was not intimidated. "And if I ask you to treat me with more respect?"

The red-eyed girl raised an eyebrow. "Am I to assume that you are expressing your interest in me, Soryu?"

Asuka's eyes widened in offense. She shoved the blue-haired girl back against the shower wall and considered slapping her. "Baka!" She shouted. Without another word she left. She glanced back and was even angrier to see that the first child had resumed washing as if nothing had happened. Damn her, she makes me so angry! Why can't she just act like a normal person for once?

She went home to her apartment and frowned at it. It was filthy, with empty instant meal containers and soda cans strewn around, but she didn't feel like cleaning. She didn't ever really feel like cleaning. She opened up her refrigerator and sighed, finding nothing but a milk container that had barely a few drops in it. She slammed the door shut and grumbled under her breath. She looked around a few minutes longer than grabbed the phone and dialed up Kaji. "Hai? Moshi moshi." She heard from the sleepy sounding man.

"Kaji-san! I was thinking, wouldn't you like to cook me dinner tonight?" She asked in her sweetest voice.

"Uh… what time is it?" She heard some deep breathing then a grunt from Ryoji then his voice came back. "I'm not really in the mood to cook. Why don't you cook _me dinner for a change?"_

She could hear the teasing tone in his voice and she was caught between the desire to growl and smile. "Let's go out then. A restaurant! You never take me anywhere." The second child complained.

There was silence for several long moments, so much so that Asuka nearly hung up and redialed the man. Just as her finger was reaching for the hang up button, the spy spoke again. "I guess it couldn't hurt. Dress up in something nice. I'll be over in a bit."

The red-haired girl grinned and hung up and went to scour through her clothes, tossing most aside as they didn't meet her high standards. She was grumbling about her idiotic taste in clothes before she pulled out a red cocktail dress that was quite flattering to her cleavage and legs, so of course, it was perfect. She was just putting on her panties when the door buzzed. "Argh! That man!" She cried out. She peeked out the door and saw that it was indeed Kaji. She unlatched the door and yelled out "Gimme a minute then come in! I'm not dressed!"

Only hearing the come in, he did just that as she was scurrying towards the bathroom carrying her dress. "Whoa. Nice outfit, Asuka-chan, but I think you should dress a bit more formally. Not that I'm complaining too much." He grinned at her.

She flashed him a smile but he had already turned away. Mixed signals! So frustrating… Unit 02's pilot dressed quickly and was ready to go. She kept smiling at the older man as they walked, but he seemed oblivious, which was annoying her. Soon they were in a nice (though just shy of fancy) restaurant. Which was likely a good thing since Kaji hadn't shaved, his suit looked a bit disheveled, and his hair was messed up. But the German girl couldn't help but smile at him anyway. She spent the entire night complaining about Rei, insulting Shinji, flirting with Kaji, and making comments about how lonely she was and coyly bringing up the subject of moving in with the man.

"Didn't Misato-san offer you a room in her apartment? You wouldn't be so lonely then." Ryoji suggested, oblivious to her interest expressed in moving in with him.

"Or I could just move in with you…" She stated boldly, smiling at him in what she hoped was a seductive manner.

"Yeah I'm pretty sure Misato-san has said she had an extra room for you and wouldn't mind you staying there." Kaji went on to say, ignoring the girl's statement.

The red-haired girl sighed and ran her finger along the rim of her drink and stared off into space. He's so dense. He doesn't listen to me. What's his problem?

"I'm ready to go. We should do this again sometime. Will you be all right going home on your own? I have business to take care of." The spy stated, stretching then patting his stuffed belly.

"Ist in Ordnung. [It is alright.]" The pilot stated in a dismissive tone. Like I have a choice. With that, he was gone. At least he didn't stick me with the bill. The girl sighed and walked home, feeling like a dark cloud was following her and raining down on her. She stepped into her apartment and had taken several steps inside when a noise startled her. She looked up and saw two men wearing masks staring at her and holding her television and microwave. "AAAH!" Asuka screamed. "Get the hell out! That's my stuff, you baka shits!"

The one holding the microwave threw it at her suddenly. It crashed into her stomach and knocked her to the floor, giving them the chance to run past her and outside. As the German girl was recovering, they suddenly came back inside. "We were talking, and we decided we want the rest of your stuff too."

The pilot growled and clenched her fists defiantly. "Over my dead body! Get the fuck out!"

The bigger of the men advanced towards her and backhanded her with enough force to knock her off her feet and backwards. She crashed into her table and hit her head on the leg. With a groan, she remained still. What might have been minutes or hours later, she awoke to find everything in her apartment gone. Even her clothes. Asuka sobbed, despite her best efforts not to, and looked around the apartment. She stopped in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, finding a large bruise on her cheek and a bump on the back of her head. Hesitantly she lifted up her dress and was relieved to see no bruising between her legs, and with no soreness she had to assume they only took her material possessions. "Arschloche!" She screamed towards the semi-open door. She slumped down and hugged her knees to herself.

She stayed that way for over half an hour, then stood up. There's no alternative now. I have to live with Katsuragi-shousa. There's nothing for me here now. She sighed and left, walking down the night street. It took over twenty minutes, but she finally arrived at the major's apartment and knocked. The door opened a few moments later and Shinji peered out at her. "Oh… ah konichiwa, Soryu-san." The third child greeted in a nervous voice.

"Tag. Is Ayanami still here?" She asked with a slight hesitation in her voice.

"Iie. She went back to her apartment after the angel was dead." The dark-haired boy replied, barely concealing the regret in his tone.

"Well, you're in luck then, baka! You have a new roommate." She pushed past him and called out "I'm home!"

Shinji scratched the back of his head nervously and shut the door. Little did either of them know that Gendo had arranged the break-in, knowing the second child would likely move in with Misato and Shinji.

*****************************

"I don't know what you're complaining about, baka! My plan worked flawlessly. The angel is dead." Asuka glared at the third child, daring him to defy her.

Shinji shrugged. "Gomen. I know, but you don't have to rub our noses in it. If it weren't for Ayanami, we wouldn't have even _gotten to NERV. You didn't even know the way!"_

The German girl's face grew nearly as red as her hair and steam almost literally sprayed from her ears. "Wonder Girl practically _lives in NERV! Of course she knows it so well! I am a pilot. It should not have been necessary for me to know every walkway and tunnel in headquarters. And would you quit moaning out praise of the All-mighty Doll?! You disgust me!"_

Shinji slouched down and frowned, but chose not to comment further. "Do you wanna do anything tonight to wind down?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Like what?" The second child asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

The dark-haired boy sighed and shrugged. "Watch a movie? Go out to dinner? Play cards?" Screw around…

Asuka raised an eyebrow. I'm surprised he didn't say screw around. "Cards, movie, whatever. I don't feel like going out." She glanced to her right and saw Pen-Pen waddling towards them. He squawked and looked at the television, making his desires known. "Pen says a movie sounds good."

Misato strolled out of her room, buttoning up the last few buttons up the top of her fancy blouse and grinned when she saw Shinji's eyes bug out of their sockets. "I'm meeting Akagi-dono for dinner and maybe some dancing. You kids will be all right on your own, I trust?" She winked flirtatiously at the third child and giggled to herself when he blushed.

"Hai, Misato-san." Shinji responded. Asuka simply shrugged.

The purple-tressed beauty beamed a smile at them and waved as she left. "Ja ne!" She called.

"I get the remote!" The second child proclaimed, suddenly leaping towards the television and snatching up said controller.

"Hey! No fair!" Unit 01's pilot shouted, jumping for the controller as well but the girl had already picked a station and sat down on the device. The boy nervously started reaching for it anyway but paused, reconsidering the consequences of the action.

"Grab for it and you shall surely suffer my wrath." The red-haired pilot proclaimed ominously.

The third child sighed then glanced over at the phone. "I'll be right there. I need to make a call." Moments later, after dialing, Asuka heard him greet Ayanami and attempt what seemed to be a one-sided conversation.

"Hmph. What reason could he possibly have to talk to that doll? The only phrase she even knows is 'I will do as I am ordered.' Little bitch." The second child sighed and picked up the controller again and started flipping. Pen-Pen squawked and glared at her. "Bah, fine. I'll change it back." She sighed and tapped her foot against the floor rhythmically, listening more to the third child's voice than the movie on the television. She glanced back and glared at the boy when she heard him say something about wearing something, then something about swimming. "You're missing the movie, Shinji no baka!" She called.

"I'll be right there!" He called. Despite that promise, he was on the phone for nearly twenty more minutes. When he finally sat down, he had a goofy smile on his face. "What'd I miss?"

"Pretty much everything, baka! It's not worth recapping." She glared at him for a few moments then suddenly put her feet up on his lap. "Rub my feet, baka. They're sore."

At first the other pilot tried to push her feet away and complain then he paused and started massaging her foot without further complaint. Asuka ignored him, watching the movie as it became more suspenseful. She didn't even realize that the boy was staring at her panties which he could see up the leg of her shorts. She simply thought he was giving in to her demands.

"He's so cute." The German girl announced out of the blue, indicating the actor on the screen.

Shinji glanced at the screen. Looks like a typical pretty boy actor to me. "The girl he's kissing looks like a whore." He muttered. She was wearing trashy cheap looking clothing, lots of make up, oversized earrings, the works. Indeed she looked more like a streetwalker than the respectable wife of the drama star that the girl was drooling over.

"Watch it, baka! That's my cousin you're insulting!" She proclaimed with a growl.

"Nani!? Gomen nasai! I did not mean to offend…" The boy was nearly in tears, sputtering out apologies nearly every other word.

"Baka, I'm joking! You are so easy to tease. You should make it harder or I will lose interest in you." She flashed him a flirtatious grin then pulled her feet from his grasp and brought them closer to her body, sitting almost sideways that way.

The third child quickly lost interest in looking at her since all he could really see now were her legs, which were folded up, and started paying attention to the movie again. It was nearly pointless, however, since it was a drama and only had about a half hour remaining, and he had no idea what was going on.

"So what are you doing with Wonder Girl?" Asuka asked in feigned interest.

"…………. Nothing really. Just going to study with her a bit." Shinji lied, quite obviously.

"Sure… whatever." The German girl sighed and scratched Pen-Pen's head, as the penguin was stretched out on the arm of the sofa. She stared off into space and wondered if her life would ever get more interesting.

************************

Asuka screamed in agony and clutched her head in her hands, feeling as if her brain was being torn away in layers. She reached upwards, but it was no use. She went into convulsions and slumped backwards, no longer able to move as her mind was picked apart by the fifteenth angel, Ariel. She twitched occasionally, but otherwise she was overloaded with memories and thoughts. Just as she was reaching her breaking point, when she just knew her brain would fry and drip out of her ears, the assault suddenly stopped. She heard something about a lance and it quickly grew apparent that Rei had saved her life. Fucking Wonder Girl… how dare she! She glared at the blue cyclops as her Eva until her entry plug was ejected.

She was ordered to the infirmary, but she insisted on showering first. Her hair was plastered down by the bloodlike LCL fluid and smelled horrible, and soon would gag her. She stripped off her plugsuit and slammed it into the wash bin, seeing Ayanami's already resting there. She kicked her locker and growled, still shaking from the psychic assault. She walked into the shower room and glared at the other pilot for a few moments before moving to stand beside her and wash the fluid off. She looked over and wasn't surprised to see the girl ignoring her. "Don't expect a thank you from me. I didn't ask you to save me." The second child declared.

"Of course." Rei agreed, rinsing shampoo out of her hair.

"You disgust me, you fucking little bitch." The German girl stated in a grave tone. She expected a response but received none. With a growl, the red-haired girl grabbed the first child around the throat and slammed her back against the shower wall and began to strangle her. "YOU FUCKING DOLL! Respond to me when I fucking talk to you! You think you're so fucking special!? I'll kill you, you little bitch!"

Rei calmly pinched a nerve in the other girl's arm and shoved her away. "I have not been ordered to allow you to touch me in that manner, Soryu."

The fiery-tempered girl slapped the blue-haired pilot across the face as hard as she could, grimacing as her hand seemed to be more hurt than the other girl. "I just tried to strangle you and that's all you have to say? You are not worthy to have saved my life, little whore. Don't do me any favors next time." With that she left. A glance back revealed the first child applying conditioner to her fine blue locks as if nothing had happened. Asuka dressed quickly and left before the other girl finished her shower and hurried down the hall. She entered the first wash room she found and slumped back against the wall and sobbed. I said I'd never cry again. I have no resolve. She didn't move for over an hour, whereupon she went home rather than letting the doctors examine her. She had enough of her mind being tampered with, she would stand for no more. She shivered under her covers that night, despite the oppressive heat, and dreamed of dolls hanging from ropes.

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And thus the end of another chapter. ;) Hope it was enjoyable. Likely I'll include a bit more of events concerning our favorite fiery-tempered auburn-tressed pilot in a future interlude, but for now, this is sufficient. Remember that stuff I said would be in this chapter? Well, it'll be in the next chapter. Haha. It was time for an interlude, so I had to put it. Each interlude in the future will focus on one specific character and it will always occur in the "past" of the primary story. So if you see a chapter entitled Interludes – (something or other), you know what to expect. Oh and someone mentioned that Kaji was a spy for the Japanese government and not SEELE. Well, technically he was a triple agent. He was a spy for the Japanese government, yes, but he was also a spy for SEELE (he brought Fuyutsuki to them for questioning, after all) as well as NERV (he brought them Adam's embryo, after all). Basically he was into everything. Heh And you are saying "Misato wasn't the one who killed him" well, for one, you seem to forget this is an alternate universe fic. Things aren't happening exactly the same way. Two, you assume he is dead. Whether he is or not, I haven't said yet. Anyway… next chapter: Kaoru, as promised. I really really mean it this time. He's threatening me with breach of contract so I have to appease him. You know how these things go. Also, Rei and Shinji in some tense moments, Maya and Ritsuko in some less tense moments, and likely a cameo from Fuyutsuki if I can reach his agent. Sucker won't return my calls… Bye for now!


	13. Cherry Blossom Petals

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Master Mage: There _is someone proofreading the German language I use in the story and he's been pretty good about letting me know when I mess up in a timely fashion. If you feel it is still incorrect, you should take it up with him. ;) German is not my first language, I'm rusty from not speaking it for a while now, so I'm bound to make mistakes. If you feel I am still making errors, perhaps you should email me the corrections rather than just griping about my bad grammer? ;) On another matter… only one review for that last chapter? Geez… that kind of sucks._

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 13: Cherry Blossom Petals

Maya looked back and forth between Ritsuko and Misato, noticing that there seemed to be a tension between them tonight. "I can't believe that this is one of the only two restaurants left open in the city. Everything seems so surreal ever since that last angel attack, ne?" The lieutenant asked.

"Hai." Misato agreed after a moment, noticing that the blonde doctor had simply frowned and stirred her drink. "At least it's one of the better restaurants, though."

"Misa-chan, you're making a mess." Dr. Akagi stated, pointing out that the purple-haired woman was spilling shoyu [soy sauce] on the table. The doctor reached over and dabbed the spill up with her napkin. "I'm always cleaning up your messes, aren't I?" It was quite obviously a loaded question.

"So ka?! Are you trying to tell me something, _Ritsu-chan_!?" The major demanded.

"Well I'm ready for dessert…" Lt. Ibuki stated loudly, hoping to change the subject and break the tension building between the two women. I get the feeling they're going to end up as lovers or something. I knew I was reading too much into sempai inviting me here tonight…

Ritsuko glared at the major for a few moments then she blinked and looked at her young protégé. "Nani!? You ate so much and you want dessert? Do you always eat so much?"

Maya blushed and nodded. "I forget to eat sometimes. I make up for it when I remember, sempai. Does it bother you?"

The doctor gave her a gentle smile. "No, I sometimes forget to eat also. I guess it's just a bad habit."

Misato snorted and swallowed emptied the contents of her wine glass in one swallow and immediately refilled it from the bottle. "You two are two… what's the expression? Bah, forget it. You're cut from the same cloth."

"Yes, I suppose you are correct." Ritsuko agreed. "So tell me, how is that boyfriend of yours?" She gave the other woman a penetrating stare.

The major blinked. "He's um… disappeared on me. Probably off getting in to some more trouble as we speak. You know how he is."

"Of course…" The doctor agreed, maintaining her stare.

"…. So how is Soryu-kun doing lately, Katsuragi-san?" Maya asked, trying to change the subject again.

"Misato is fine, Maya-kun. And she is doing better, I think. She seems less volatile. I think the therapy is helping." The major paused for a moment and nearly mentioned how (she thought) the girl and the young Ikari were intimate, but she thought better of it. It was their business, after all. Instead she said, "Her relationship with Shinji-kun seems much less strained now as well. I'm finally getting a bit of peace in my home." She looked up and caught the longing stare that the young lieutenant was giving the doctor, who seemed oblivious. "So, how are you two doing? Friendly as ever, or what?"

Ritsuko glanced at Maya but knew immediately that the girl preferred for her to answer the question. "Well, as I mentioned to you before, the commander and I are no longer… together. Maya-chan is being very supportive of me. I daresay I would have broken down by now if it weren't for her." She smiled and squeezed the girl's hand.

"How sweet." Misato commented with a knowing smile.

"I think she has someone in mind for me, as well. She's hinted that she knows of someone more suited to be in a relationship with me." The doctor continued.

The purple haired woman grinned. "Oh, I bet she does."

Maya blushed and grabbed the dessert menu and hid her face behind it. "Wow, I sure am hungry…"

"So Maya, are you seeing anyone?" The major asked, leaning forward. As if I don't already know the answer to that one.

"Iie. I am single and looking, Misato-san." Lt. Ibuki replied politely. Oh man, she knows… am I really that transparent?

"What about that cute guy I saw you with two months ago? You two broke up?" Ritsuko inquired in a surprised tone.

"That was my brother, sempai. I haven't dated in over a year now." Maya responded. That sounds so pathetic…

Ritsuko blinked several times. "Your _brother!? Do you always kiss your brother in such a… intimate manner!?"_

Maya's eyes widened and her blush returned with a vengeance. "Chigau! It's not like that! He… he was trying to make a girl jealous. Apparently it worked because he went home with her that night. I was just helping him out."

"I don't think our young friend here even dates guys, Ritsu-chan." The major taunted.

Maya stared down at her lap and felt her face burning. "I date men… sometimes."

Ritsuko grinned and leaned over against her. "Maya-chan, I had _no_ idea you liked girls too. Maybe it's you who we should be setting up? After all, you said it's been over a year. Wow, you must be so horny. How can you go that long without a lover?"

The lieutenant's eyes bugged out and she felt like crawling under a rock. "It's not like that!" She hissed out, glancing around to make sure no one overheard what the blonde had said. "I… get by. Somewhat…"

"Hah, Ritsu-chan, we should give the poor girl a mercy fuck, don't you think? She's probably going out of her mind…" Misato giggled.

The doctor chuckled and shook her head. "You are so drunk, Misa-chan."

The major giggled some more and nodded. "Very true. This wine is fabulous!"

Maya ate her dessert silently when it arrived. She didn't want to admit it, but what the major had said had gotten her hopes up a bit. Though, she had to admit she was after more than a little sex. And with two girls at the same time, the thought was just intimidating. She didn't know how to take Dr. Akagi's response to the suggestion, as it wasn't an acceptance or denial of the proposal.

"I think we should all be heading home. I'll pick up the check tonight." The doctor offered.

"Hai. Arigato gozaimasu, sempai." The young girl smiled. Thank goodness, for a moment I thought you invited me to stick me with the check again.

"Oyasumi, ladies." Misato waved as she left, not wanting to be there in case the blonde changed her mind about paying the bill.

"Shouldn't we call her a taxi? She shouldn't drive if she's drunk…" Lt. Ibuki asked, frowning at the retreating major.

Ritsuko waved it off and set some money down to pay for the meal. "Don't worry about Misa-chan, she's always drunk when she drives. I think we'd only have to worry if she was sober. Let's go."

Maya followed her out, walking down the street to her apartment. It was very close, so it wasn't much of a walk. "Always drunk?" She asked as they stopped in front of the steps leading into her apartment complex.

The doctor grinned and shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Oyasumi nasai, Maya-chan. Thanks for being such a sweet date." She leaned over and kissed the girl on the lips, pulling away before giving the kiss a chance to deepen. "See you tomorrow."

"Ah…. Hai. Oyasumi, sempai." The dark haired girl replied, her lips still tingling from the kiss. What was that all about? It didn't feel passionate… but it still made my knees weak. I can't figure her out. Maybe she's drunk too. She watched the doctor stroll down the street and sighed, wondering what would have happened had she invited the woman inside.

*************************

Shinji lay on his (or rather Asuka's) futon curled up into a ball, listening to his SDAT player and the one surviving tape he had left. Luckily it was one of his favorites, though his very favorite hadn't survived. Everything is turning to shit. First Rei tells me to get out, then Asuka breaks everything I own when there aren't really any shops open to replace much, then Rei tells me that she was the reason that one of my best friends is dead. And she said it without any emotion, as if she were telling me that she picked up some tofu at the store. I can't figure her out. She's going to drive me crazy! A moment later he felt a draft hit his back and he knew his door had just opened. Speaking of crazy…

There was a rustling sound for several moments, then he felt a warm soft body slide under the covers behind him. A tickling sensation on his cheek made it apparent that the German girl was trying to see if he was awake or not. The third child debated whether to ignore her and pretend to be asleep or see what she wanted. Curiosity finally won out so he flipped off his SDAT player and rolled over. "Konbonwa, Asuka-kun." He whispered.

"You don't have to whisper. Misato-san isn't home yet." The red-haired girl stated in a slightly rough voice.

It sounds like she's been crying. Do I sound like that too? "Are you all right, Asuka-kun? You sound upset."

The girl shifted a bit. "Intense therapy session. I don't really want to talk about it."

"Hai… as you wish." Shinji replied. "I had a bad day as well, so I understand."

The second child shifted a little closer to him and looked the other pilot in the eye. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The dark haired boy blinked in surprise. "Nani? You want to hear about my problems? Are you sure you are all right? Perhaps you are ill?"

"……… Don't tell me then. I offered, at least." Asuka rolled over so her back was to the boy.

"It's not… in a way I want to tell you, but I also do not. I don't even want to think about it." Shinji stated, not knowing how else to explain it. "I just learned something today that I guess I already knew, but I didn't want to think about or believe." I can remember seeing Rei's name underneath where it said the Dummy Plug had activated… I guess I never thought about it until she told me… gods, Toji…

"It's about Wonder Girl, isn't it?" The red-haired girl asked, glancing over her shoulder at the darkened face of Unit 01's pilot.

"Hai… partly. Mostly about just my current life situation." Shinji replied, covertly wiping away a tear.

"………….. Do you want to make love to me?" Asuka asked, almost in a whisper. By the erection that suddenly sprang up and was pressing against her backside, she knew he was at least partly interested.

"You…. I…. but…. We….. I don't…. we….. Asuka-kun…." The third child was very flustered. Asuka rolled halfway over so she could meet his gaze without hurting her neck. She remained silent and waited for him to get his reply out. "You're… upset, Asuka-kun. You don't mean it." The dark-haired boy finally managed to say.

The German girl shrugged. "It doesn't matter.  I don't mind." Perhaps it'll distract me from feeling sorry for myself. Do I really want to do this, though? "You want to do it, don't you?"

The third child bit his bottom lip nervously. "Honestly? Hai. But… I think if we do, we'll both hate ourselves tomorrow."

The blue-eyed girl frowned. "You are probably right. We should do it for the right reasons. And with the right people, ne? I'm sure Wonder Girl would never take you back if you were tainted by me."

"Asuka-kun… it's not like that. I…" Shinji began.

"Shut up. I don't want to hear your fucking excuses." Asuka spat out, turning her back to the boy once more. Rejected. I'm relieved, but… offended. He'll never want me. I'll always be second to that bitch. Why do I even care?

"… If it means that much to you, I will do it. But if you hate me tomorrow for it, please remember this moment." Unit 01's pilot stated with a sigh. He tenderly ran his hand up the girl's leg and started to sweat when he realized that once again she was just wearing an oversized t-shirt and no panties.

"………….. You don't have to. I just don't want to feel alone tonight. I just want to… feel. Just… hold me. Please?" Asuka pleaded. God, I sound so pathetic.

"Ah… of course." The dark-haired boy replied, drawing her close with his arms. Unfortunately, that also pressed her shapely buttocks into his straining erection. Damn! Of all the luck… She's going to attack me now, call me a pervert. Then again, she offered me sex so maybe she won't think too badly of me. After all, I'm complying with her wishes, despite how much it hurts now… She feels so warm… so soft. I feel guilty for being excited but I don't know why. She is very attractive, after all. Is it because she is so upset? Or because the real reason I changed my mind and decided to go along with it was because I am angry at Rei-kun? I am so fucked up… Shinji sighed and held her closer and tried to sleep despite the girl's intoxicating scent and her shapely posterior pressing against his manhood. Unfortunately for him, he was unable to fall asleep for hours after that.

Asuka, however, despite having the rock hard member nudging her most intimate areas, slept deeply and soundly. It seemed that no matter how bad her life seemed to get, when she slept in Shinji's arms, everything else vanished and left blissful and peaceful slumber.

*************************

Shinji awoke to a sharp painful sensation in his ribs, causing a groan to emit from his slumber-numbed lips. "Baka, get up I said!" He heard a female voice say.

He cracked his eyes open and saw the second child leaning over him with a frown on her face. "Asuka-kun, I'll cook you breakfast in a few minutes. Five more minutes of sleep, that's all I ask………" He started to drift off again.

"Get _up_, baka! I won't tell you again!" The red-haired girl growled out.

The third child sighed and sat up, suddenly growing self-conscious as he noticed his erection from the night before was still very much present. Though how much of that could be attributed to normal 'morning wood' he wasn't sure. Luckily for him, the German girl seemed oblivious to his condition. "What's wrong?" The dark-haired boy asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Nothing is wrong." Asuka asserted, sitting up with her legs crossed 'Indian-style' [AN: Hmm, is there any other name for that style of sitting? Heh Something more… PC perhaps? I mean I know there's 'Japanese-style' which is sitting on one's knees sitting on the heels, not sure if it has any other name. Hmm…] "There are just some things we need to talk about."

Shinji blinked and sat up as well. "So ka?" Oh man, I can't believe I turned down the chance to make love with Asuka… perhaps it's not too late? I feel guilty even thinking it, but, it is a tempting offer…

"Aa… first, I want to thank you for not taking advantage of me last night." The German girl stated.

Oh man… now I feel like crap just thinking what I did a moment ago! Unit 01's pilot thought.

"I was pretty upset, and I know you were too. You were right, had we gone through with it I would hate myself now. I care about you, you silly baka. And I can see that you care about me as well. So… arigato gozaimashita." The second child leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him close and rested there for a few long moments. Ok, Dr. Kagame… so I wasn't angry but I did hug him. That is progress, ja? She settled back and grinned inwardly when she saw his blush and his obvious confusion. She made no comments on the matter, however. "That's really all I wanted to say. Other than… just thanks for being a friend to me, despite how I've treated you. It was nothing against you personally."

The third child stared at her, blinking more than a few times. Finally he reached forward and felt the girl's forehead and cheeks. "No fever…"

"Are we back to that? Damn, you baka! Can't you just accept an apology and shut the hell up about it!?" Asuka demanded angrily.

"Gomen. Eh…" The boy couldn't find the words to convey his emotions. He didn't really understand his emotions, after all. He felt connected to the girl, beyond friendship and pilot comradery, but he wasn't sure how deep those emotions ran. After all, despite knowing that the Ayanami's psyche was responsible for Toji's death, he knew he still cared about the blue-haired soft-spoken girl very deeply. Frighteningly so, to be truthful. But, for the moment, he leaned forward and gave the German spitfire an affectionate hug then paused for a few moments then leaned back towards her and pressed his lips to hers. Oooooh man… that's nice. Her lips are so soft and warm…

The second child started giggling suddenly and shoved the other pilot away. "Your breath is tickling me." Was the only explanation/excuse she gave. "Now, cook me that breakfast you promised, baka." Why did he kiss me? He's sending me mixed signals, damn him.

With an embarrassed smile, Shinji walked into the kitchen and began to cook. Am I intentionally trying to make myself more confused? I care for Asuka, but not as a girlfriend… I think. Yet I kissed her. Rei… she brings out the best and the worst in me, I know I care for her deeply, and yet I'm paralyzed inside whenever I am with her. Can I only be affectionate with those I don't love? I hate my life.

Misato came strolling out of her room as the third child was finishing breakfast. "Shinji-kun, good I caught you. Akagi-dono needs to re-examine you. She also wants you to bring Ayanami-kun with you. Mmm, that looks good." She grabbed a bowl then reached into the fridge for a few beers and sat down to eat.

The dark-haired boy blinked in surprise and sat down across from her with his own bowl. "Did she mention why she needs to see me again? Was there… something wrong?"

"You mean other than your being a baka hentai?" The second child teased.

Major Katsuragi smirked. "I would assume so, Shinji. It didn't seem terribly urgent though, so I doubt it's life-threatening."

"You doubt!? You're not sure!?" Shinji cried, beginning to fret.

"Maybe you've got some terrible disease." The second child suggested with a grin.

"Oh no! I've gotta get to NERV in a hurry!" The boy jumped up and ran out in a hurry.

"Don't forget to bring Ayanami, Shinji-kun!" Misato called. She chuckled and downed her second beer. "He's so cute when he's panicking."

The red-haired girl grinned and nodded. "Hai. That he is."

*************************

Gendo Ikari grabbed Ritsuko by the lapels of her lab coat and glared down at her over his glasses. "You never told me that Rei had no uterus. Explain yourself, doctor."

The blonde woman raised an eyebrow up a bit. "I assumed you knew. It was you who created her, after all. In order to have a fully functional Super Solenoid organ, Rei would have either needed to be missing her liver or her uterus. Without a liver, she wouldn't have survived even a day. A uterus was unnecessary. I imagine that those that cloned the girl realized this."

"They never informed me of this. And you never mentioned it in your physical exams of her. You could have informed me of her deficient hormone levels, at the very least." The commander growled.

"And why exactly is it so important? If you want grandchildren, I would think you would look to Shinji for that." Dr. Akagi stated with a frown on her face. She glanced down at where Gendo was still holding on to her and wondered if he planned on pummeling her.

Ikari growled softly. "I believe Pilot Ikari and Rei are romantically involved."

The doctor nodded in understanding. "I see. So if Rei cannot have children and they wed, no grandchildren. Are you planning on taking this out on me?"

Gendo shoved the woman away and turned to leave. He paused for a moment then asked, "Without being able to bear children of her own, does that mean she will have no maternal instincts?"

Ritsuko straightened her clothes out and leaned back against one of the exam tables. "It is possible. But, her isolation may have more to do with it than her lack of a womb."

Is it wise to let Rei become the mother of humanity if she has no maternal instincts? the commander wondered. As he reached the door, it opened and Maya fell backwards after walking into the commander.

"Oh! Gomen, Commander Ikari!" She blinked up at him, wondering if his glare was because of her or if it was because he was leaving Dr. Akagi's presence. The man walked away without a second glance. Lt. Ibuki frowned and stood up and brushed herself off. "Sempai, are you all right? He seemed upset." She walked into the lab and let the door close.

"Yes. It was about Ayanami, as always." The doctor stated, not bothering to disguise the disgust in her voice.

Maya sighed and brushed her fingers through the doctor's hair. "You should try to move past your obsession with the commander, sempai. He's no good for you."

"I know, but…" Ritsuko scowled. "He makes me sick. And you haven't given me anyone else to be obsessed with yet." The doctor winked and grinned.

Ok… there won't be any better time than now. Go for it… just go for it! Don't chicken out! "Would you like to… try a relationship with a girl?"

"You asked me that already, Maya-chan. I said I wasn't against it. Now, do you want to tell me who you have in mind, or are you going to keep it to yourself?" Dr. Akagi asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

SAY IT! "How about… I mean… to help you out, I can date you. If… you wouldn't mind that, that is." Oh gods, I can't take that back now… The lieutenant felt like squeaking like a mouse and burrowing into a hole.

Ritsuko blinked… several times. Then she grinned. "Oh, for a moment there, I thought you were serious. You're so funny, Maya-chan. Oh, while you are here, set up the EEGs. It might be a good idea to look at the pilot's brain wave patterns."

Maya blinked and felt a tear slip out of her eye so she quickly turned away before the doctor noticed. "Hai, Akagi-dono." She blew me off… it's hopeless. The dark-haired girl started running diagnostics on the computer systems after finishing up the duties that the blonde doctor had asked of her and kept her conversation polite and professional. The doctor seemed oblivious to the mood change, and continued her work unfazed.

*************************

Rei lay face down on her bed, staring at the wall. She had barely moved since Shinji had left the night before, only getting up to use the toilet a few times and once to shower. She felt numb inside, and though she should have been accustomed to the feeling, now it disturbed her. She felt like she should be having some kind of emotion but she wasn't sure which one. She didn't even hear the knocking on her door, or the third child stepping into her apartment.

"Rei-kun? Are you asleep?" The boy asked, approaching warily. I really don't want to be here right now. I don't want to face her… I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away… "Rei-kun?" He gently touched her shoulder. She turned her head and fixed her mysterious red eyes on him. "Uh… have you eaten today? I can fix you something. Then we need to head into NERV. We both have to report to Dr. Akagi for testing. I think they found something strange when they were examining me yesterday."

Rei blinked.

"Uh… ok I'll make you something to eat. If you're not hungry, you can eat it later." The third child sighed and walked into the kitchen. I can't figure her out. She's so infuriating sometimes! Judging by how the girl walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, he figured she was hungry so he finished cooking quickly and set her breakfast down in front of her. He sat down across from her and watched her eat. "Rei-kun… I want to apologize. I… when you told me about the dummy plug, I almost hit you. I know it is unforgivable, but I humbly beg your forgiveness."

Rei paused as she sipped her miso soup. "You did not strike me, Shinji-kun. There is no cause for apology."

"But I almost did. I wanted to. Whether I did or not matters little. I considered it." The pilot of Unit 01 insisted.

The blue-haired girl finished her soup and chewed on a Japanese pickle. "Then you are forgiven." Strange, the commander never felt remorse even when he did strike me. Which he has done more times than I can even remember. And like yesterday, occasionally he has done worse. I feel… embarrassed? My cheeks feel warm.

"I suppose I already knew that the dummy plug was related to you. Your name was displayed when it activated. But… I still can never forgive the dummy plug for what it did." The boy stated.

"…………………………… Understood." The first child drained her water and wiped her mouth with a napkin. "I am ready to go." So I forgive him and he cannot forgive me for something that is only indirectly my fault. They walked to NERV in silence.

"Akagi-dono? Ikari and Ayanami reporting for examination, as requested." Shinji stated after entering the infirmary.

The blonde doctor smiled politely. "Ah, good. Ikari, on that table. Ayanami, on that one please. Maya-chan, draw blood from the young Ikari, please. Just like you did yesterday." As the nervous lieutenant moved to comply, Ritsuko drew blood from the red-eyed girl. "How are you feeling today, Ayanami?"

"Physically I am as well as can be expected. My hand is sore and weak. I tire quickly." Rei replied without emotion.

The doctor raised an eyebrow at the girl's choice of words. "And psychologically?"

The blue-haired girl glanced at the third child for a moment then stared up at the ceiling. "Nothing abnormal to report."

The blonde woman smirked. "Right." She took a drop of blood from the sample and placed it on a slide and the rest she inserted into a machine that would run various tests on the sample. She looked through the microscope and nodded and marked some notes down.

Maya swore to herself as she attempted to draw blood from the hapless Ikari for the fourth time, finally succeeding. "Gomen, Shinji-kun. How are you feeling this morning?"

"A little sleepy still, Ibuki-chuui. But otherwise I am well." The dark-haired pilot responded.

"Maya." The woman corrected, poking the young man in his ribs to admonish him playfully. "Sempai, here is the blood sample."

Ritsuko took it and repeated the same process that she had used on Rei's blood and then leaned over to look at the boy's blood under the microscope. "Just as I thought. Take a look, Maya-chan."

"Hai, sempai." The girl bent over and looked at the blood.

The third child blushed as she looked at the girl bending over, unable to help from thinking perverted thoughts. However, when he saw the concerned look on both women's faces after looking at his blood, all hentai thoughts disappeared, replaced with worry. "Is something wrong, Akagi-dono?"

The doctor thoughtfully tapped the table with a pen then looked at the pilots. "Hai. Come look at your blood sample. Ayanami, you may stay there or come as well, it is your choice."

Rei remained still, but Shinji was rushing over. He didn't know how the blue-haired girl could remain so impassive and not even be curious about the results, but those thoughts were pushed to the back of his mind. He bent over and nearly banged his eye against the eyepiece. He blinked and looked through the microscope at his blood. He scratched the back of his head. The sample looked strange, but he couldn't quite figure out why. "It looks weird. What is wrong with it?"

"You have blue cells in your blood." The blonde doctor explained.

The third child straightened up and blinked as he regarded the woman. "Nani?"

"They're energy holding cells released by a Super Solenoid organ, Shinji-kun." Maya explained.

The boy stared at the women in shock. That can't be right… "But… I don't have an S2 organ."

Rei turned her head to look at the pilot of Unit 01. Shinji… with an S2 organ? How strange.

"Apparently you do." Dr. Akagi stated. "The question is, how? And where is it. Would you mind lying back down on the examination table? I'm going to try ultrasound. If that doesn't work, we'll try an abdominal CT."

Shinji moved back onto the examination table and shivered in nervousness. Then he shivered some more after his shirt was removed and the cold gel was squirted on his belly. "Hold still." Maya instructed gently. She smiled at him and held his hand, distracting him from his predicament.

The blonde doctor slid the sound wave emitter around on his stomach and paused as it was resting over his left side. "Any pain in this area, Ikari?" She asked.

"Iie. Should there be?" The third child responded. Oh man… what the hell is wrong with me!?

"Your appendix is distended. I don't see any solid matter in it though, and since there is no pain, I feel I can rule out infection. Let's get a CT. Come lay on this table here." Ritsuko ordered. A little while later they were looking at a full color three dimensional holographic image of the male pilot's abdominal cavity.

"Weird." Lt. Ibuki observed.

"Indeed. I'm going to take a cell sample. It'll be a little uncomfortable, Ikari." The doctor pulled out a large wicked looking needle.

Shinji shrieked and jumped up, ready to bolt out the door. Maya grabbed his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. "Just lie down, Shinji-kun. It'll be over in a moment."

The boy stared at the lovely young lieutenant with large, panic filled eyes. But after a little more encouragement, he laid back down on the table and tried to relax. "Why me?" He muttered.

The lieutenant saw the doctor was about to poke the pilot with the needle and he was about to have a panic attack, so she figured a distraction was in order. She leaned over after opening a button on her uniform and grinned knowingly when the third child's eyes were drawn like magnets to the exposed cleavage. She whispered into his ear and made him blush. He didn't even notice when the needle slid into his stomach and withdrew a few moments later after scraping against his appendix. "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" She asked, dabbing at the puncture wound with an alcohol swab.

"Huh? It's over? I didn't even notice." Shinji glanced down and blinked in surprise. Maya is good at distracting me… I wonder if she was serious? Oh man… Rei is looking at me!

"This confirms it. Somehow Pilot Ikari's appendix has become a small S2 organ. This could give evidence to the theory that humans once had S2 organs. Perhaps this is what the appendix use to be? After all, it's always been a mystery…" The blonde doctor observed, turning to regard the boy.

"Does this mean… I'm an angel? Oh Kami-sama… I'm not the 17th angel, am I?!" The third child sat up and felt sweat beading on his brow.

"Any urges to destroy humanity?" Ritsuko inquired in a serious tone.

"Iie! Of course not!" The dark-haired boy insisted.

"Then not to worry." Dr. Akagi frowned thoughtfully. "Let's keep this between ourselves. I would worry for the pilot's safety should Commander Ikari discover this development. Agreed?"

"Hai, sempai." Maya replied.

"…. Hai, of course." Shinji agreed. Not like I'd ever talk to my father anyway.

 Everyone looked at Rei. Rei looked back at them, no expression crossing her pretty face. She remained silent.

"Ayanami, it is important you do not speak of this to the commander. Pilot Ikari may be killed as a precaution if this became known." Ritsuko frowned. Damn little bitch. Would you sell out your own boyfriend?

"I will not speak of it unless I am ordered to do so specifically." The first child finally responded. I doubt the commander would ask me if Shinji spontaneously grew an S2 organ, so no need to worry.

The doctor sighed. "I suppose that'll have to be good enough. I'll try to figure out what caused this. Now, let's look at your brain waves before I let you go."

Moments later, both EEGs were running. "Curious…"

Maya looked at the lines but they meant little to her. "What is it, sempai?"

"Both pilots are exhibiting alpha waves." Dr. Akagi replied.

"What does that mean?" Shinji asked.

"Alpha waves are observed in patients who are in light sleep or deep relaxation or meditation." Rei responded mechanically before the doctor could reply.

"So… we're asleep?" The third child asked doubtfully.

"No, you're obviously awake. My guess is, you're operating at the borderline between wakefulness and slumber. This could explain why you're feeling like you are having dreams when you are awake." Ritsuko conjectured.

"You are a danger to us all, Shinji-kun. I am afraid I will have to destroy you." Rei stated suddenly, walking over and grabbing a scalpel.

"Rei-kun!?" The dark-haired pilot gasped out.

"Did you see that? REM activity, but they're still awake. Their brain waves match almost exactly." The doctor's voice was heard to say.

The third child blinked and looked over to see Rei frowning slightly at him. Did she have that vision too? It seemed so real…

"Sempai, their breathing and pulses are synced as well." Maya observed.

"Fascinating… I'll have to look at the test results from their last physicals. Pilots, you may leave now if you wish. I'll talk to you soon about my hypotheses." The doctor frowned thoughtfully and flipped through her notes.

Rei stood and nodded at everyone. "Saraba [Farewell]. I will return home. Shinji-kun, I will see you later, I trust?" Without awaiting a reply, she walked out.

The third child sighed. "I can't figure her out."

The lieutenant frowned at the doctor for several moments then turned to the pilot. "Want to take a walk?"

Shinji blinked then nodded. "H… hai." He followed her silently until they came to the girl's office.

Maya sat down in her desk chair and smiled as the pilot sat after receiving a nod. "Anything on your mind that you wish to discuss with me, Shinji-kun?"

The boy shifted nervously and shrugged. "Well, I guess I'm a little worried about this S2 organ business and what it could mean. I mean, how can someone just spontaneously develop such a thing!?"

Lt. Ibuki shrugged. "It's possible you started getting it after you re-incorporated after that ordeal a while back. Or perhaps it was instigated when your Eva devoured the 14th angel and gained its own S2 organ. Or it could be a more recent phenomenon, related to the infestation from the 16th angel. But, in the end, does it matter _how_ you developed it? I think it's more important to concentrate on studying the results of you having it."

The third child nodded. "I see your point… the spacing out is also bothering me. It's ok to have vivid dreams, though they can be confusing, but earlier… I think that was the first time it's happened while I was awake. Possibly the second."

The lieutenant nodded. "It might just be stress. We'll have to work on that. So, anything else on your mind, while you're here?"

Shinji blushed. "Uh… well… what you said earlier." He paused when the girl raised an eyebrow. "Oh… I was probably imagining it. Never mind. I should probably go home."

"You weren't imagining it, Shinji-kun. I said it. Are you interested?" The dark-haired girl gave the boy a warm smile.

The pilot turned beet red, but nodded. "Uh… of course. But… are you sure? I mean… may I ask why?"

Maya nodded. "Let's just say I need a little cheering up. This should be fun, so I think it might do the trick. At the very least, it'll relieve some of your stress, which is a good thing for you. Now, if you are still interested, would you mind walking over here?"

The third child nervously approached the lieutenant and smiled down at her, scratching the back of his head. "Uh, just checking to make sure I'm not imagining this?" After she nodded, he continued. "I should ask, is this all you want to do? I mean, I'd be happy to return the favor, or take it to the next level…"

"One step at a time. And, for now, let's just stick with this, ok?" The girl asked. She reached out and tugged the boy's pants down, grinning as he shifted nervously about. I can't believe I'm doing this… but for one, I did offer, to help calm him down. And for another, I feel like shit since sempai rejected my advances. So maybe this will make me feel better.

She leaned over a bit and held the young pilot's hips gently. She stared at his erect member for a long moment, summoning up her courage. She glanced up and saw the nervous and semi-fearful look on the boy's face. This must be his first time doing… anything. I hope I can make it good. She licked her lips then took the head of his manhood into her mouth. She nearly jumped back when she felt the organ twitch, but it settled down and so did she. The girl looked up again and saw the awe in the boy's eyes as her lips descended, taking as much of his hard length into her mouth as possible. Been a long time since I did this. I hope I do ok.

Maya's head moved up and down, taking her time as she heard the pilot's soft gasps of pleasure. She moaned and grasped his hips gently to control the pace, flickering her tongue over his length teasingly. Funny, just yesterday I was flattered but mostly uninterested in doing this… now here I am going through with it. Is this just my way of getting back at sempai for laughing me off? She seemed jealous when I said Shinji had pressed his member into my mouth, after all. I just don't understand her.

Shinji sighed in pleasure and felt his hips moving on their own, but he tried to minimize the movements as much as possible, not wanting to harm the girl. He ran his fingers through the lieutenant's short dark hair and smiled down at her. A dream come true... still, I feel a bit guilty. Like I'm cheating on Rei. Gosh, even on Asuka, though we don't seem to have a relationship. I'm so confused… The wet slurping sounds and the intense pleasure he was feeling spurred him on, however.

As Lt. Ibuki adjusted to the size and shape of the third child's erection, she was able to take it deeper in her mouth, eventually her lips were pressed into the pilot's hips as he bottomed out in her mouth. She heard his low groan when that happened the first time, and his grunts and gasps seemed to become more excited. She had to admit that she was enjoying herself as well so she lowered one hand to slip up inside her skirt and finger herself under her panties, and the other pulled open her uniform top and after snapping her bra off, her breasts were bared to the cool air.

Maya kept her ministrations deliberately slow and deep, wanting to prolong the experience aas she looked up to meet Shinji's wonder-filled eyes. I wonder how many times he's fantasized about doing just this… oh, I'm so naughty! She murmured in approval when the boy reached down to fondle her breasts, and she found herself pleasantly surprised when she felt how gentle he was being. Most of her past lovers were too rough, at least in the beginning, but the third child was slow, gentle, and deliberate. And it was driving her crazy. "Mmmmmm." She murmured with his manhood still deep in her mouth. She could feel his hips jerking a bit and she knew he was getting closer to climax, despite how hard he was trying to stave it off.

"Maya-chan… ooooh…. I'm going to cum. Gomen…." He was shivering from pleasure.

"Mmmmmm." She responded, speeding up the movement of her fingers under her skirt. So close… She groaned when the boy suddenly slammed his hips forward to bury himself in her mouth and he held himself there for a few moments. She tasted his seed as it spurted into her mouth and she moaned, feeling her own climax rush through her body.

Shinji, for his part, ran his fingers gently through the girl's hair and very slowly and gently slid in and out as the last of his orgasm passed. He sighed and withdrew and plopped down on the edge of the lieutenant's desk as his knees became weak. "Arigato, Maya-chan. Eh… sorry… for… in your mouth… you know." He blushed.

Lt. Ibuki grinned and wiped her mouth clean and swallowed a few times. She stood up and quietly fixed some cocoa for herself and the boy then returned to sit back down after straightening herself out. She sipped at the hot beverage and smiled at the pilot. "Did you like it, Shinji-kun?"

The third child blushed again and nodded shyly. "It was… amazing. I wouldn't be surprised if this was a dream."

Maya smiled softly and leaned up to kiss the boy on the mouth then settled back into her chair. "I can't promise we'll do it again, but I can tell you that I enjoyed it. Let's keep this between us, though, ne?"

Shinji nodded quickly. "Hai, of course. I'd never talk about this, even if you hadn't said anything. It's just between us." I still feel guilty… but man, that was nice! I felt like I died and went to heaven.

They chatted a bit, about normal small talk things for a while then hugged. Shinji left with a smile on his face, hoping that if he woke up he'd remember every moment of the dream. Maya stretched and started working at her computer terminal, finding herself glad that there were no surveillance cameras inside her office, only one just outside it for safety reasons. It would be rather embarrassing if security had watched her suck the pilot off, after all.

Unknown to the pretty young lieutenant, however, there was a hidden camera in her office. Gendo Ikari had watched the entire encounter between his son and the woman without emotion crossing his face. After they were done, he wondered if the relationship between the young computer expert and his son would become more serious, as well as whether the boy would become more confident. He had several conflicting emotions. He was proud of his son for having an encounter with such a lovely young lady, he was a bit jealous of the boy as well, and he was also disappointed and a bit angry that he had 'cheated' on Rei. However, if third impact didn't happen, or didn't happen the way he thought it would, it might be beneficial for his son to get involved with the dark-haired girl, as she would likely be able to give him grandchildren where Rei would not.

He was unsure why the boy hadn't made love to Pilot Soryu as yet, since they were sharing a bed. He had assumed it was because he was remaining faithful to the first child, but given what had just happened, he had to rethink that matter. Still, there had seemed to be a tension between them and he wondered what it was. Gendo turned and nodded at Sub-commander Fuyutsuki as he entered the hidden office.

"Ikari. Pilot Nagisa just arrived. NERV insisted on sending him as an emergency pilot." The second in command reported.

Commander Ikari nodded. "Understood." He turned back to his monitors and pressed a button, bringing the sexual encounter between his son and Lt. Ibuki back up on the main monitor.

Fuyutsuki watched silently for a few moments, then asked, "So, how do you feel about this, old friend?"

Gendo flipped off the monitors and folded his hands together, deep in thought. Finally he made a cryptic response. "He's my son."

Kouzou frowned, but simply nodded in response. They both turned to watch as the newest pilot, the fifth child, exited the plane.

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Kaoru took a deep breath and smiled as he left the plane, taking in his first lungful of Japanese air. He began to hum Ode to Joy as he strolled into town, no particular destination in mind. He passed a familiar boy, but he was gone before the fifth child could greet him. "Ikari-kun… we'll meet soon enough. I think I should pay a visit to the young Ayanami first, however." He smiled and made his way through the streets, in no rush. Soon, he was outside of Rei's apartment. He looked up, sensing the girl's presence. "This should be… interesting."

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Before anyone gets confused, no this hasn't become a Shinji/Maya romance. ;) Their encounter was more a product of their confused and rejected feelings towards their romantic interests than it is of their own interest in each other. This will, of course, cause a few complications. But, what is life without complications? Teehee. Next chapter: The meeting between Ayanami and Nagisa, Misato's apartment and its zany inhabitants, and likely some other wacky stuff. Stay tuned! And, reviews are appreciated very much, as always. Matta ne!


	14. I’m All Mixed Up, Feeling Cornered and R...

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: I know, it's been forever and a day since I updated this story. Sorry. Life has been busy and crappy lately. I had to re-find my inspiration. Luckily, I still remembered where I was going on these stories, cuz I'm just that damn good. (And so modest about it too!) I am making some slight alterations to the style of this one though… I'm cutting down a bit on the Japanese phrases. Only when I think they are necessary or fit better. I don't know why I used them so often in the earlier chapters… I suppose just because I could. In the DBZ fic I'm writing, I only use them for occasional spice so that's what I'm going for in this one now. Sorry if you like a bunch of Japanese phrases in your stories, you'll have to live with a few less. The German from Asuka-chan will stay about the same. 

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 14: I'm All Mixed Up, Feeling Cornered and Rushed

Rei lay on her bed with her hand suspended in front of her face, staring at the red scar that was already fading from her hand surgery. Her thoughts were unfocused and chaotic, swirling around in her head like a swarm of bees. Feelings like indecision, doubt, and fear were new to her and she despised them already. First there was Commander Ikari, whom she had been raised by as a daughter first and a subordinate second, until recently. Ever since the Eva project started, after that first fateful day when Unit 00 had gone berserk and the commander had scorched his hands to pry her out of the entry plug, he had grown distant from her. His visits became purely as a commander checking on the status of a subordinate, and the caring looks and words of a father were never spoken. It was as if the scorching of his hands had burned away the kindness he showed her, and his recent attitude towards her made the blue-haired girl feel cold and alone.

That train of thought led Rei to think of the young Ikari and her recent growth of feelings for the boy. Have I sought him out to replace the affection the commander once showed me, or is there more to it than that? Shinji makes me feel… vulnerable. Suddenly there was a knock at her door. Shinji, you wasted no time in coming here. Are you hiding from Soryu once more? "Come in, Shinji-kun." Rei called absently, eyes never leaving her scarred hand. The nerves were in the process of finishing up their healing and the scar itched so badly she knew if she started scratching it, she would not stop until she reached blood. So despite how maddening the sensation was, she resisted the urge to scratch.

"Though I am not Shinji, I trust I am welcome to enter anyway?" A soft foreign voice sounded from her now open door.

Rei sat up slowly and regarded the stranger entering her home, feeling suddenly exposed as she had dropped all clothing save her underwear moments after returning home. She would have taken off the bra and panties as well if her hand had not still been too weak to work the clasp of the bra. And why bother taking the panties off if the bra remains? "You are mistaken. You must leave. I do not wish strangers to enter my home." He looks… so familiar. Silver hair... red eyes. Red eyes… "Do I know you?"

Kaoru gave the girl a gentle smile and leaned against the doorframe, brushing back his lengthy silver locks up from his eyes. His attitude seemed almost… flirtatious. "Nagisa Kaoru, newest Eva pilot. Pleased to meet you, Rei." Was his reply.

Though her eye twitched in irritation at such a familiar tone, the red-eyed girl chose not to comment on that and instead asked a more important question. "What is your purpose for visiting me then, Nagisa?" Despite the boy's familiar tone, she chose to remain respectful… for now.

The fifth child came closer and sat down on the edge of her bed, despite the glare she was (just barely) giving him. "I heard about your Eva unit being destroyed. I was curious to see what state of health you would be in."

As he came closer, an uncomfortable feeling began to radiate out from her stomach. A feeling she usually only got when an angel was near. "I am well. I would appreciate if you left my apartment now." The soft-spoken girl requested, edging away from the boy. A feeling akin to panic was worming its way through her heart, but she had the impression it was a foreign emotion. Is he psychically probing me?

Kaoru leaned closer suddenly and gave her a warm smile. "You feel it too, don't you, sister? Despite how you came to be in this world, you are still of my brethren. You share a closer link to the mother than the rest of us, even. I envy you."

The red-eyes of the first child widened in shock and confusion. "Nani? I…" Before she could finish her sentence, the fifth child leaned forward even more and pressed his lips against those of the blue-haired girl. "MMph!" She protested, raising her hands up to try to push him off. She felt his hand groping at her breast, then trailing down her flat stomach. The boy's invading lips moved down her chin and then found an especially sensitive spot on her neck and the girl felt at once enflamed with something, desire perhaps, but also angry. "Get **_off_**!" She cried, pushing against him as hard as her slight frame could manage. The force, surprisingly enough, was enough to send him crashing into the wall next to the door, as well as creating a crack in the wall.

Kaoru felt blood boil up from his insides and rush out of his mouth as he felt the burning heat of the girl's outrage pushing him back, and for a moment he knew fear as the energy production of Rei's S2 organ suddenly spiked, and her AT field became opaque as the other pilot struggled against it. The Angel-Alert klaxon suddenly went off, shocking the girl out of her anger and releasing the fifth child from the confines of her AT field. The silver-haired boy stood up straight and brushed himself off calmly and smiled. "It was nice meeting you, sis. I must be going now. Give my love to Shinji, won't you?" Without awaiting a response, he was gone.

"To Shinji-kun? Wait!" Rei had raised her hand, intent on finishing the Angel off but he had already slipped out and was gone. As the adrenaline wore off, she realized there was a trickle of wetness on her stomach and legs. She looked down to see blood with a slight blue tint seeping out of a small wound in her abdomen and it was then that she realized what Kaoru had been doing. He was distracting me and trying to remove my S2 organ… he meant to kill me. Shinji… is he after you now?

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Asuka plopped down on the couch and stretched out; running her fingers through her newly washed and dried hair. She was humming softly to herself, before breaking out into song in a soft melodic voice, "Hast du etwas Zeit für mich, dann singe ich ein Lied für dich von 99 Luftballons auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont.  Denkst du vielleicht grad an mich dann singe ich ein Lied für dich von 99 Luftballons, und daß sowas von sowas kommt!?" (Nena's "99 Luftballons")

"You sound happy." Shinji said behind her, taking the brush that was lying next to her and beginning to run it through the girl's fiery red hair.

"Perhaps. You shouldn't sneak up on a girl when she's singing, you know." The girl chastised him gently, though her eyes had drifted closed as the brushing soothed her.

"I use to brush my mother's hair like this when I was a little boy." The third child commented, leaning over to inhale the cinnamon apple scent wafting from her tresses. He dropped that line of conversation when he felt her stiffen up slightly. "Well, I'm not dying. They just noticed some strange things happening to me but they're not sure why. Akagi-dono suggested it might have happened when I re-incorporated, or when that last angel was infesting me and Ayanami."

That seemed a safer topic, so the girl leaned her head back a bit and looked up at the boy. "You seem awfully happy to just get a little good news about your health. Did something else happen?" At the blush that crept over the boy's cheeks, the German girl figured she had her answer. "You got a kiss from Rei, ja?"

"……… Something like that. So, do you want to do anything today? I only need to cook some dinner for Rei... I mean Ayanami later." Unit 01's pilot inquired, running his fingers through the girl's hair one final time to give it the bounce she liked.

Asuka leaned back against the side of the couch and raised an eyebrow. "It's ok, baka. You can call her Rei in front of me. It doesn't bother me. Only…" She paused and chewed on her lip nervously.

"Only?" The young Ikari prodded gently.

"Only… don't abandon me, even if you up and marry Wonder Girl. You have… always been there for me. Even when I tried to drive you away." Soryu coughed nervously and shifted a bit. Damn, this is hard. Damn you Dr. Kagame, you're making me sentimental!

Shinji stared at her, lost for words.

"Baka! Say something. Tell me to go to hell. Tell me to fuck myself sideways. Tell me you hate my guts. _Something_!" She cried, standing up, embarrassment enflaming her cheeks.

"Are you saying that no matter what, you want to remain my friend? Even if I have a relationship with Rei-kun?" He was repeating what she said, but he had to be sure he hadn't misheard the startling request. At the girl's careful nod, he considered it. Then the third child responded, "I have a request then. I want you to make more of an effort to be Rei-kun's friend. I think you two would get along well if you just tried."

Asuka's eyes narrowed. "You're asking a lot, mein Freund." She grew silent and stared at the boy. Can I be her friend? She's so… anti-social. _And you're not?_ It was her mother's voice in her head. Yes… I suppose I have been. Fine, I will make the attempt. "Agreed then. I will try, but I cannot guarantee she will like me."

"She takes… patience. And you have to learn her mannerisms and not take her lack of response personally. She's just very quiet." In other words… The third child continued in his thoughts, your opposite. But, opposites are supposed to attract, ne?

"Ok. So… are you two a couple now?" The German girl asked hesitantly. Of course you are.

"No. We have been having… difficulties, to be honest. But, I do admit I am interested in her. Do you think I'm crazy?" He asked. Of course you do.

"Of course I do. But, who am I to judge? I had a breakdown in front of my therapist yesterday." Asuka responded with a teasing grin. Then the smile faded as a thought occurred to her. "Wait… you're having problems but you were making out with her earlier?"

Damn! I walked right into that… "Eh… I didn't say I made out with her." Shinji was beginning to panic. CHANGE THE SUBJECT! "So, what do you want to do today? There're not too many choices, but I think we can have a good time."

Did he kiss someone else? Misato-san stayed here until just a little while ago before going into NERV, so it couldn't have been her. That leaves the good doctor Akagi and lieutenant what's-her-name. No… doubtful. Maybe Rei just smiled at him or something? I'm just assuming it was a kiss. No point in worrying over it. "Let's go check the arcade. If we can't get in there, perhaps one of the cinemas will be open? At the very least maybe we can get inside and start a movie ourselves." She suggested.

Unit 01's pilot smiled and nodded. "Sounds fun. Let's go!" He paused for a moment, with a worried frown on his face and looked in the general direction of Rei's apartment. A moment later, the Angel-Alert klaxon went off. "Chigau! Let's go. Plans canceled, I guess." Please be ok, Rei…

Asuka frowned and hurried after him, hopping into a jeep across the street and taking it into town. Can I do this? Please… please let me be able to do this.

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Lt. Maya Ibuki took several deep breaths and steeled her nerves. She couldn't help but be paranoid as she stood in front of Commander Ikari's office door. After all, in the entire time she had worked at NERV, she had never been called to speak to the commander one on one. Very often she wouldn't even see him, as he had an observation room directly over the Eva control room. He could watch her all day and she wouldn't know it. The thought was not a pleasant one, especially considering everything she knew about the man's personal life. Finally, she summoned up her courage and brought her fist up to the door and rapped gently and waited patiently to be called in. Over a minute later, and just as she was about to walk away and come back later, she heard a gruff voice tell her to enter. "Commander? Ibuki-chuui reporting as requested." Maya said in a soft, non-threatening voice.

"Of course, I was beginning to wonder if you had already left for the day. Sit down, lieutenant." Gendo ordered, gesturing towards a plush leather seat in front of his desk.

The young dark haired girl sat down, having flashbacks of sitting in front of the principal in high school for her brief bouts of rebelliousness, but with a nervous shift she tried to focus on the commander. "Yes sir?" She resisted the urge to chew on her bottom lip as best she could.

Gendo folded his fingers together and regarded the young girl critically. "You are here for two reasons, lieutenant. The first is more of a personal issue, the second a professional one."

Maya cleared her throat nervously and shifted. Comfortable seats… "Yes sir?"

"I have noticed you and my son seem to have established a sort of… rapport. Have you two become… friends?" He nearly used a different word, intentionally letting that be apparent. He liked making people nervous, after all.

"… Yes sir. Is that a problem?" The girl asked, swallowing nervously.

"No. Actually, I rather encourage it. My son has a difficult time opening up to people, as you have likely noticed. If your _relationship with my son is beneficial to him, than I support it." He stated matter-of-factly._

Maya blinked. "Sir, what do you think our rela-" she began, but was cut off when Gendo raised a hand slightly.

"Whatever your relationship entails is none of my concern and is between the two of you. I simply want positive influences in his life. I am not asking you to report to me on matters involving Shinji. Just, be his friend or whatever your relationship entails. He seems to have become less introverted recently and perhaps I have you to thank for that. If no, I'm sure you helped a little." He fought the urge to smile behind his steepled hands, knowing the girl was trying to figure out whether he was saying he wanted her to date his son or not.

"Of course, sir…" The dark-haired girl replied, still confused.

"Now, on to the professional matter." He indicated a small box on his desk and leaned back to watch her.

Maya hesitantly took the box and looked up at him with an upraised eyebrow, asking for confirmation silently. When she received none, she figured that was an affirmative, so opened the box up. Then stared at the contents. "I… don't understand sir."

"Am I to assume you do not know what they are?" Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki and perhaps Ayanami Rei were the only ones in the world that could have heard the underlining humor in his tone.

"Yes sir… I mean… no sir… I mean… this can't mean what I think it means? You're… promoting me to captain?!" She stared at him in wonder. "But I just made first class lieutenant last year when I joined the Eva project!"

Commander Ikari leaned forward again and regarded her carefully. "Are you refusing your promotion, Ibuki-taii?"

Oooh… I like the sound of that. Maya gave him a bright smile and popped off her 1st Lt. pips, then replaced them with the Captain ones. "I accept, of course! I'm just curious… why?"

Gendo was silent for several moments before he responded in a carefully guarded tone. "Your hard work and contributions to this project did not go unnoticed. You went above and beyond the call of duty more than once. I felt it deserved a reward."

The newly-made captain frowned a bit and regarded the new rank insignia. "But it has nothing to do with my friendship with your son, ne?"

"That may have influenced the decision a bit, yes. Does it matter?" Gendo wondered how the girl had been successful in seducing his son where all the other women in his life had failed, but he couldn't ask her and expect an honest answer of course. Was there something about the girl? He felt his own interest in her growing, but he pushed it to the side in favor of letting his son have his chance. Don't say I never gave you anything, Shinji. [Arrogant, isn't he? Heh]

She stared at the insignia a little more then shook her head. "I suppose not. Thank you again, commander! I will not let you down!"

Commander Ikari nodded. "You are dismissed then, captain. And… if you see Shinji, tell him I said… no… never mind. It is best you say nothing about me to him. Dismissed." He watched the girl and wondered how soon his son might actually bed her. He glanced at a photo of Rei and mumbled to himself, a rare indulgence, "It is for the best, Rei. You'll understand someday." He frowned when he heard the Angel-Alert klaxon sound throughout the city. "So… it is time already. Disappointing. I was curious to see where this business between the young captain and my son would play out." He turned to his monitors and leaned forward to watch the city and headquarters.

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This wasn't the longest of chapters, but it is about average I suppose. And it's an update, so that's good. Anyway… Next chapter: The effects of the false alarm, Shinji meets Kaoru, and Asuka and Rei have a little talk, woman-to-woman about Shinji, of course. And other stuff. All for now! Bye-bye!


	15. Anything But Ordinary

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Let's see… Evil Flamer: You make me laugh. Thank you. Cahkarot: Make me some pie, boy! Glad to see you actually reading for a change, lazy butt. Nega Knight: Yes, those European Eskimo howler monkeys can get quite feisty when they're hungry. Luckily they're well fed by eating Evil Flamers. Aznkao: Maya is 24 years old and Misato is 29. At this point Shinji is 15 so yeah, it's a 9 year difference but a boy/young man sleeping with an older woman isn't that uncommon, especially in Japan. So it's not that strange… but given their reasons it's more understandable. Maya feeling rejected and lonely, Shinji feeling confused and hormonal, and hardly the picture of psychological stability… Also… what grade am I in? Haha… I'm almost 22 years old. And why should I use $10 words and alienate potential readers? Sure I could use a higher vocabulary level but I see no point in it. I try to keep my writing as close to conversational English level as I can without being grammatically incorrect (though sometimes I still make typos and have minor grammar problems but given my background with English, this is understandable.) Arsenal: Yes, Maya blowing Shinji WAS messed up. That was the point. Mariam and Evogirl: Yes, a number of my chapter titles come from song lyrics. Kudos on identifying one of them. teehee The others in this story are: I'm a Mess (Murmurs song), Tame from Fear and Numb From Sleep I Wake and then Routine Life is Calling Me Again are both lyrics from the Murmurs song "Carry Me Home". The Dark Night of the Soul is the name of a Loreena McKennitt song. The Trick is to Keep Breathing is the name of a Garbage song. Requiem of the Fallen… well I don't think I got it from a song but I do see that several bands have used it for album names or song names so take your pick there. And as you guessed, I'm all Mixed Up Feeling Cornered and Rushed is from a Tatu lyric. And if you care, this chapter's title comes from an Avril Lavigne song. Ok, that's all. Tralalala on with the story.

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 15: Anything But Ordinary

Major Katsuragi rushed into the Eva control room, still straightening her uniform that she had obviously thrown on in a hurry. "Status report!? Where's that Angel?"

Lt. Hyuga shook his head as he read over the report from the MAGI system. "We've been having trouble isolating it. It seems to have disappeared. Perhaps it can cloak itself somehow."

Maya came rushing in moments later and manned her post. She glanced at Makoto's readouts to see what he had determined then turned to her own readouts. "According to these readings… the location of the blue light was in the developmental district. It was detected for 34 seconds then vanished. There is a minor amount of blue radiation still detectable and it's… It's approaching NERV headquarters! Wait… let me double-check these readings. Something doesn't seem right about this." The young newly made captain reported, sliding her chair out and going into the machinery of her panel.

Lt. Aoba discretely checked out the girl's shapely backside as she got into the machine then turned back to his own panel. "Pilots Ikari and Soryu have arrived and are almost to the pilot's locker rooms. They should be ready in a few minutes. Ah, there's pilot Ayanami as well." He reported, seeing readouts from security come up.

Misato nodded. "Lt. Ibuki?" She inquired, looking for a report.

The lights of the control panels flickered for a moment then returned to their normal brightness. "I need another minute. I… OW! Sempai, are you out there?"

"Akagi-dono hasn't… oh here she is now." The purple-haired major nodded in greeting to the blonde doctor who looked like she had seen better days.

"Maya-chan, is there a problem with the system?" Ritsuko inquired, kneeling down to look into the guts of the machine that Maya was fiddling with.

"Hai, there's a discrepancy due to… that problem we were having earlier. What does the panel say is the current location of the blue light detected?" The captain asked after poking her head out of the machine.

Ritsuko leaned forward and looked at the panel. "Inside NERV." She replied. Then she paused. "Actually there are two blue lights inside NERV and one approaching."

Lt. Hyuga swiveled in his chair to stare at the doctor in shock. "Three angels?!" He glanced at Misato for a moment but she had her gaze trained on Dr. Akagi so she missed his look.

"They're all low level. In fact... Maya are you setting the instruments to compensate for the… radiation fallout from that last angel attack?" The doctor inquired. What she really meant was, to compensate for the low level energy produced by Rei's S2 organ.

"I don't understand how we would get three distinct readings from fallout." Shigeru commented.

"One moment… OW! Ok, that should do it." Captain Ibuki said as she slid out of the machine and stood up, absently brushing herself off. She tapped a few commands into the console and a few moments later the Angel Alert lights ceased flashing. "I just ran the compensation algorithm again and the ghost angel signatures are gone." The girl reported with a smile.

Major Katsuragi didn't look convinced. "How do we know that you didn't overcompensate and an angel isn't approaching to destroy us all?" She asked.

Ritsuko and Maya shared a look. They both knew that Rei and now apparently Shinji were unconsciously generating noticeable AT energy levels, but they couldn't report that. "I calibrated the instruments myself, Katsuragi-shousa. Sempai, would you care to double-check my work?"

Dr. Akagi almost said no but then caught the expectant looks the others gave her. They were far too nervous to let it pass with only one check so she nodded. "Of course…" Grumbling, she got down on the ground and slid into the machine and checked the settings. Nodding in satisfaction she returned to her feet. "If anything, I'd say she set them to be a little more sensitive than I would have, so you should have no worries. A real Angel would generate more than enough energy to be detected rather easily." She informed them. _Unless of course, it was intentionally keeping its energy level too low to pick up… but it would have to be rather small to accomplish that. Such as the microscopic Angel that infected the MAGI system a while back… anything larger than a human running at minimal energy would be picked up._

Relief showed in the eyes of the others as they turned to make last minute checks. "Katsuragi-shousa? Should Soryu launch?" Shinji's voice came over the intercom, his face appearing in a small vid-screen overlay.

"Negative, it was a false alarm. All pilots, stand down." She replied. Then she noticed Maya's new rank insignia. "Ibuki… were you promoted? I received no report about it… did you accidentally grab the wrong pips?" _If so… how did you get your hands on them, I wonder?_

Maya blushed at the sudden attention she received from the rest of the control room crew, though if she didn't know better she would think that Shigeru wasn't looking at her rank pips… "Hai, Katsuragi-shousa. I was promoted just a few minutes ago by Commander Ikari."

"By the commander?!" Ritsuko growled. She looked the younger girl over for a moment. "I see…" Without awaiting a response, she turned and left.

The newly-made captain blinked in surprise. "Sempai?" She took a few steps towards the door but was stopped by Misato.

"Were you given a reason for your promotion? And why was I not notified? And by the looks of it, Akagi-dono was not informed either." The major inquired with a frown.

Maya became a bit flustered. She didn't realize she would have to explain something she barely understood herself. "Um… ah… well. The commander said I have performed above and beyond the call of duty and felt I deserved the promotion. I don't know… if you want to challenge his decision, I will not hold a grudge over it." She bowed slightly and wondered if she was about to be demoted again.

The intercom buzzed and the commander's voice came over it. "Katsuragi-shousa, I promoted Ibuki-taii for the reasons she mentioned as well as some she did not. Anything beyond this is of no concern to you. Return to your duties. That is all." The voice was cold, typical of the commander.

Captain Ibuki blushed, looking up at the major with a downcast head, still feeling it best to appear as submissive as possible. She barely resisted the urge to chew on her bottom lip.

Misato huffed and started turning away. "Dismissed, captain." She stated simply before walking out, leaving the post-alert proceedings to the others since she was not needed.

Maya turned to smile apologetically at Shigeru and Makoto, both of whom were still 2nd class lieutenants. She felt sorry for them, wondering why neither had been promoted yet. They gave her a reassuring smile and turned back to their work. "Well, call me if you need me. I'll be in for my normal shift." She stated. After receiving nods from the men, she left. The captain looked for Dr. Akagi but realized soon after that she had left the base and likely didn't want to be bothered that night. With a heavy sigh, she went home. She saw Shinji on her way out and smiled at him and giggled once he was out of sight because he had blushed a dark red and seemed more flustered than usual. _Who was that boy with him? I don't think I've ever seen him before…_

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Shinji frowned, wondering how a false alarm could have occurred. Asuka grumbled as she slid out of the LCL of the entry plug. "Now I'm going to have to wash this Scheiße off for nothing." She grumbled. She shook herself a bit and looked at Shinji and asked, "What's your problem? You didn't even have to get into your plug."

The third child blinked and scratched the back of his head. "I guess I just find it odd that it was a false alarm. You'd think something would have had to happen to set it off..."

The German girl shrugged. "Probably like they said, fallout from that last angel attack and Wonder Girl's…" She cleared her throat when she saw his annoyed glare. "I mean Ayanami's Eva unit blowing up."

The young Ikari sighed. "I suppose. I suppose we should…" He trailed off as Rei walked into the room.

"The alarm has ceased. Is there no Angel attack?" The blue-haired girl inquired in her soft voice.

"Hello to you too, Ayanami." Asuka grumbled.

Rei fixed her red eyes on the German girl and did not respond.

Shinji coughed, gaining the attention of the two girls before any evil comments could be made. "Apparently it was a false alarm. We have been dismissed for now." He glanced up at the control room to make sure they weren't changing their minds.

"I see. I should return to my…" Ayanami stopped talking suddenly. She turned and seemed to glare at the door (or as close as she's ever gotten to a glare since the time she slapped the young Ikari for insulting his father) and waited a moment.

"Ayanami, I was thinking that perhaps we could…" Asuka started, but was cut off when the door opened and a stranger walked in.

All three pilots stared at the new arrival who smiled pleasantly at them. "Greetings. I am Pilot Nagisa. You may call me Kaoru. Is the attack already over?"

Shinji blinked. _New pilot?__ But… why? "Yes… er… I mean no. It was a false alarm." He wanted to ask the new pilot all sorts of questions, instead he fell silent._

Asuka, however, wasn't shy like Shinji nor chronically quiet like Rei, and this spoke her mind. "Who the hell are you!?"

Kaoru smiled. "I told you my name just a minute ago. Pilot Soryu isn't it?"

The red-haired pilot growled and advanced forward, death in her eyes. "What is your purpose for being here? Did you come with a new Eva unit? I don't see it."

The silver haired boy shook his head, an amused smile splayed out on his lips. "Well, no. I believe new Eva units are still being built, if they haven't abandoned them, that is."

"Then why are you here? Two Eva units, four pilots. And one Eva is on permanent lockdown, so that makes 4 pilots for one Eva. It doesn't add up, ja?" Asuka looked him over, disgust in her eyes. She pointed at Shinji. "He's already been tested and can't pilot Unit 02 without getting himself absorbed." She pointed at Rei this time who was giving the new pilot a most peculiar look. "That one isn't even cleared for duty and likely can't pilot my Eva anyway. So you know what that means? There's nothing for you here."

Pilot Nagisa placed his hands in his pockets casually. "From what I have heard, you were only cleared for duty because there was no one else to pilot your Eva unit. That has changed now…"

She walked towards the boy, hands twitching, taking deep breaths, murder in her eyes. It was far more frightening then the explosions of rage she normally visited upon Shinji… a lesser man would have likely wet himself, or at least would have had to check to make sure he hadn't done just that afterwards. Instead, Kaoru looked calm and smug. The German girl grabbed his shirt and slammed him back against the steel bulkhead and pinned him there. "You will not touch my Eva unit. I am its pilot and you are nothing. I will kill you if you try to take over as Unit 02's pilot."

The red-eyed boy grinned. "Unbalanced, yes I can see that. Quite fascinating, really."

Asuka's eyes widened in fury and her fist reared back, intent on shattering the boy's nose and denting his face in. "Asuka-chan, perhaps now is a good time for you and Ayanami to get to know each other a little better, ne?" Shinji said suddenly in a soft comforting voice, resting a hand on the girl's arm that had been about to land on the new pilot's nose.

The second child blinked and looked at the young Ikari, surprise and affection shining in her eyes. _He called me chan… he really does care!_ "Ja… ja." She turned her gaze back to Kaoru and leaned forward. "Mein Leben ist nur ein Haufen Scheiße, aber von Ihnen lasse ich mir **das**** nicht nehmen." (My life is just a pile of shit, but you will not steal this from me.) With that she let the other pilot go and glanced upwards to make sure they hadn't seen her about to assault the other pilot but was happy to note they were too distracted to see or care. She turned to the first child and gave the girl her warmest smile. "Rei-chan… let's have a girl's night out and get to know each other a bit better, for Shinji-kun's sake. Ja?"**

The first child looked a bit annoyed, though it was unclear whether it was directed at the red-haired pilot or at Kaoru, whom she was still looking at. "… I was going to ask Shinji-kun to walk me home."

"Oh, don't worry. I'll spend the evening keeping Ikari company." The silver-haired boy stated with a strange smile. "You two can have your girl-talk and we'll have a guy's night out, right Shinji-kun?"

 The third child blinked, noticing the strange intensity between the new pilot and the blue-haired girl. _They sort of look alike too… almost like… siblings. The same red eyes… "Eh… that sounds fine."_

"Shinji-kun…" Ayanami began.

"Come on, Rei. Let's get out of here and have some fun. Come join me in the shower so I can wash this crap off." Asuka grabbed the soft-spoken girl's arm and started walking.

The first child glared at Nagisa as the German girl was dragging her out. She frowned slightly when she heard his voice in her head. "I promise on my own life that your lover will come to no harm, sister. What happened before was… merely a test. Enjoy yourself, Ikari and I certainly shall." Still uneasy but taking the boy at his word for now, she followed Unit 02's pilot to the showers, wondering why she was spending time with her comrade in arms.

"Do you and that Eselsarsch (jackass/donkey's ass) know each other?" Asuka asked as they walked into the girl's locker room. Rei sat down and stared at the wall as the other girl stripped off her plugsuit and tossed it into a wash bin. She took a step towards the showers and paused. "It's very hard to have a conversation with you, Ayanami, if you do not respond." _I'm trying, Shinji, but if she doesn't start answering me I might have to hurt her._

"I do not know Pilot Nagisa. However, I did meet him before several minutes before the alarm went off." The first child finally responded, removing her own clothes for a wash.

The red-haired girl nodded in understanding. "Ah, so that's it. He hit on you."

Rei blinked. "Yes… I suppose he did."

Asuka smirked. _So… she can talk after all. "Don't worry about it, boys always flirt with the pretty girls. They can't help it." She was answered with silence. "So what's on your mind, Rei-chan?" The German pilot inquired, figuring that should get a response of some type. _Trying hard… I haven't given up yet.__

The red-eyed girl looked up and fixed her eyes on the other pilot, contemplating. "What does it mean to kiss?"

The second child's eyebrows rose up in surprise. "Well, uh… it means the person really likes you. Did Shinji-kun kiss you, Rei?"

"He has not." The first child responded. She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Do kisses always convey feelings of interest and care?"

She was about to respond in the affirmative then paused as she realized some people had 'lying lips'. "No… not always. But for the most part, yes." Unit 02's pilot responded. "Why?"

At first she didn't respond, and normally wouldn't have but she realized that Shinji had wanted her to try to form a friendship with the other pilot. She had to try, she owed the boy. "Does that mean that you… like me?"

Asuka had just finished rinsing out her long red hair and froze. She leaned out of the spray and looked at the other pilot before running her fingers back through her hair to get it out of her eyes. "Eh… why do you ask?"

"Several months ago you kissed me. In this shower, actually. Does that mean you like me?" Rei inquired in an innocent tone.

"……… Yes." The second child replied. "I'm sorry if it bothered you."

"It did not bother me." The blue-haired girl responded thoughtfully. "It was… pleasant, from what I remember."

_Don't say it… don't say it!_ "I could kiss you again, if you like." _Damn it, you said it! Laugh it off, laugh it off! What is wrong with you?!_

"That would be…" The first child paused in thought. She didn't notice the apprehension in the other girl's demeanor. "Interesting."

The red-haired girl stared in surprise then approached her. "Are you sure? May I… kiss you now, then?" _Of course not, not while we're nude. Or ever…_

"You may." Was the response from the red-eyed girl.

Asuka advanced the last two steps necessary to be in close proximity. She didn't see any discomfort in the other girl's manner, but then Ayanami was always difficult to read. She hesitantly raised her hand up to brush the girl's cheek then the German girl ran her fingers through the other girl's blue hair. She leaned slowly forward until their lips met. She held the kiss for several long moments, relishing in the soft lips of the first child. She backed away slightly and smiled. "Was it ok?"

Rei nodded. "It was pleasant. So that was a kiss…"

"More or less." The second child responded. She raised an eyebrow. "Though it would have been more pleasant had you kissed back."

Unit 00's former pilot looked interested. "Oh? Show me."

Soryu smiled. "Just try to get into it a bit… kiss back. Move your lips… something. If you don't like it, feel free to stop." She leaned forward again and their lips met. After several moments the German girl was going to stop in frustration, but Ayanami's lips moved slightly and the kiss took on a whole new dimension. The second child sighed into the other girl's mouth and deepened the kiss, pressing her back against the cool shower wall. Her fingers rose up again to slide through the other girl's short silky hair and after an indeterminate length of time, they parted. "… Wow." It was all she could say as further thoughts were impossible at the moment.

The slightest of smiles touched Rei's lips. "Indeed. If you are finished showering, perhaps we can find someplace to eat. I am quite hungry."

Slightly embarrassed by the strange response, Unit 02's pilot could only nod dumbly and finish up her shower in silence. She couldn't even figure out why she responded the way she did. She almost sighed in exasperation, because she knew this would be a topic she'd have to discuss with Dr. Kagame, as well as why the other girl's barely mild interest in the kiss hurt her feelings. "Let's go then." They dressed and left the NERV headquarters, heading into town, silent for the most part. It was a strange day indeed.

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And so ends another chapter. Next chapter: Look for another interlude, likely Maya unless I change my mind.


	16. Interludes: Part 2 – The Cute Computer G...

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: This chapter starts out when Maya was 16 and ends in the recent past so bear that in mind to avoid confusion. And since it's been so long since I last updated, I'm giving you a monster of a chapter! Much longer than normal, longer even than my longest chapter to date. But there was a lot I wanted to cover… teehee. 

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 16: Interludes: Part 2 – The Cute Computer Geek Girl

**_11th April 2008_****_ – Maya is 16 years old_**

Maya Ibuki stood amongst a number of other high school students, shivering slightly from the unseasonable (or rather what used to be unseasonable before the second impact) cold that surrounded them. It was lunch time, but a number of students chose to spend that time outside talking, smoking, studying, or just staring off into space and wishing they were somewhere else. Maya was no different, though she was more often found in the computer lab, programming or talking to people on the internet, or in the library reading a romance novel. Her friend Yukiko had dragged her out into the quad with her that day, intent on getting the girl to socialize with someone by a means other than computer text.

"Hey, new girl." A boy said off to her side.

Maya blinked and looked at him. "I'm not new… I've been attending this school for 3 years now."

"Oh, whatever. You want a smoke?" He asked, proffering a pack of cigarettes with one sticking halfway out.

Ms. Ibuki stared at it for several long moments then reached out tentatively and took it. A moment later it was lit and she was trying not to cough off her first inhale. "Um… thank you." She bowed slightly, wondering why the boy had given her a cigarette. Do I look like a smoker? Well… here I am smoking. Why am I out here again?

"You're cute, anyone ever tell you that?" The boy inquired.

Maya felt her cheeks warming up, embarrassed by the compliment. "I… I suppose so. Thank you. Um… my name is Ibuki Maya, it's nice to meet you." Where did Yuki-chan go? She was here just a moment ago…

"Nagano Tetsuo. You're a friend of Nagumo's, right?" Tetsuo asked, casually leaning against a wall.

"Yes. Yukiko and I have been friends for a few years now. Do you know her?" The girl inquired. A friend of a friend?

"Yeah… yeah you could say that." He gave her an easy smile that made her blush again. "You going to the party later?"

Maya blinked. "Party?" What party?

"The one at Kendo's house. You haven't heard? I look forward to seeing you there… dress casual, maybe a little sexy. 9pm. See ya." He wandered off, leaving her feeling confused and strangely intrigued. 

She looked around for Yukiko again and saw her coming out of a storage shed a few minutes later, followed a moment later by a flushed looking guy. "Hey Maya, you having fun?" The girl inquired, leaning in close to the future NERV officer and giving her a hug.

Maya grinned and returned the hug and looked her friend over. "The top few buttons on your blouse are snapped wrong. Were you making out with that boy in there?"

The other girl flashed a smile and shrugged. "A bit more than that. So did you talk to anyone?"

Ibuki was about to respond when she overheard the guy that her friend had been in the shed with talking to one of his friends in a low voice, but Maya was just close enough to overhear. "Yeah, you were right. Nagumo is a great lay! I think I'll do her again at the party tonight."

Maya blushed, realizing her friend had been having sex in the tool shed. No wonder she's so chipper… "Um… yeah a boy invited me to some party tonight."

Yukiko smiled and hugged her again. "Great! You can walk with me there. Meet up at my house around 8, ok? Let's get a quick bite to eat before class, I'm hungry."

Maya followed her friend, glancing down at the sway of the other girl's hips a bit more than most other people would, well at least those that weren't interested in girls… I can see why the guys like her so much. What a body… does she even remember the slumber party a few months ago where she got drunk and made out with me? The two girls had just enough time to share a meal together before the bell for the next class rang.

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**_Still _****_11th April 2008_**

Maya and Yukiko walked into the party, finding that the place wasn't as crowded as they thought it would be, which was good in Maya's estimation. After much consideration (as in, spending three hours rummaging through all her clothes as well as her mother's) the young computer geek had selected a snug fitting blue sweater and a just shy of knee-length black skirt to wear, as well as some doe-leather boots that made her feel more self-confident.

Yukiko looked around, smiling and waving at various people while Maya stood near her side as if she'd get kidnapped if she took more than a step away from her. "Is that guy here yet?" Nagumo asked, glancing at her and stifling a laugh when she saw how uncomfortable her friend was in a more crowded setting.

Ibuki looked around and then shook her head. "I don't see him."

"Don't see who?" Tetsuo asked, walking up behind Maya and slipping an arm around her waist.

Maya squeaked and looked up at the tall boy. "Um… you."

"Well, now you've found me, beautiful." Nagano stated, leaning over to inhale the scent of her hair and smiled in satisfaction.

Ibuki blushed and glanced at her friend who seemed rather amused at the attention she was receiving. "I should greet the host of the party… we only just arrived." She said, attempting to change the subject, trying her best to ignore the way her skin was tingling.

"I just saw him go upstairs with Akemi." Yukiko informed her. She then smiled and said "Well I'll leave you two alone to talk. Come find me later." Without awaiting a response, she wandered off and started talking to a cute guy.

Maya stared after her as if her lifeline was being dragged away. "Oh… what now?"

"Wanna dance?" Tetsuo asked, nodding towards the open area that contained a few couples dancing. He gave her that relaxed smile again and Maya found herself nodding without really thinking about it. He gently took her hand and led her to the dance area and in moments they were doing a reasonable approximation of a dance. Tetsuo was mostly just shaking his arms and bobbing his head and Maya was swaying and moving her arms a bit, remembering a little of some traditional Japanese dance she had learned when she was a little girl and wanting to move in ways that the fast music didn't quite accommodate. They didn't look like they were dancing to the same song… actually neither of them looked like they were dancing to the song that was playing. "You having fun?" The boy asked.

"Yeah, of course." Ibuki responded after only a few moments of hesitation. I'd rather be at home on my computer… I just got a new RPG I wanted to try out.

The stereo, which was apparently on a random shuffle, selected a slow song next. Nagano grinned and stepped forward, taking one of her hands in his and slipping the other around her waist. Maya looked confused for a moment and her free hand went to several places before the boy gently placed it on his shoulder. "Slow dances I can do." He murmured, gazing into her eyes as they started swaying to the music.

The transition of clumsy swaying to expert dancing between songs was quite surprising, and Maya found herself leaning forward to rest her head against the boy's shoulder, as she was too short to rest it on the shoulder itself. She squeaked in surprise when his hands moved down to cup her bum, though he didn't quite squeeze it so much as hold it. Maya pulled back a little and gave him a surprised look.

"Is this ok?" Tetsuo asked, rubbing her gently and raising an eyebrow.

Maya glanced behind herself and realized no one was paying her any attention. She had been paranoid that everyone was staring at her when his hands had moved down. She took a deep breath and nodded uncertainly, leaning back into him. "It's ok…" Why am I here again?

"If you want me to move my hands just say so. I won't get mad." He told her in a teasing tone.

Ibuki looked up and saw that he didn't look upset, only amused. She figured he was being honest in saying he wouldn't be upset so she shrugged and let it pass. "I'm fine." She leaned back into him, biting her lip when his hands started to caress her rather than just hold her. She almost felt like purring when he nuzzled into her neck and kissed her there.

Tetsuo brought a hand up for a moment and brushed her long hair away from her neck, then started kissing her there again. "You smell so good…" He murmured into her ear.

The blush returned with a vengeance and she kept silent, not knowing how to respond to such a statement. Yeah, I like the way my shampoo smells too seemed too lame to even utter. Her thoughts were interrupted when a boy pushed past them, arguing with another boy about a girl that had been flirting with them both. The cozy feeling turned into self-consciousness again and she pulled away from Tetsuo a bit and glanced nervously around. Maybe I should leave now…

"Let's go upstairs where we can be alone." He stated more than suggested.

"Ok." She responded immediately. What? Wait… Despite her inner voice advising caution, she followed him upstairs. She kept thinking the host wouldn't want them up but by the sounds coming from behind some of the closed doors, she realized that this was allowed. She glanced to her side and saw Yukiko smile at her before going into a room with the boy she had seen her with earlier that day. As the door was closing, her friend was pulling off her shirt. Oh my…

"You ok?" Tetsuo asked, running his hand gently over her back as they walked further down the hall.

"… Yeah." Maya replied. Am I?

Nagamo paused at a door near the end of the hall and listened at the door for a moment. Before the girl could ask him what he was listening to, he knocked gently on the door. "Anyone in the red room?" He asked in a soft voice. When he got no response, he opened the door slowly and then all the way and motioned her in. They walked inside and he closed the door and immediately wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

Maya pulled away after several long moments and glanced at the door. "Aren't you going to lock it?"

"No locks. But don't worry; no one will walk in without knocking to make sure it's empty." He replied in a soothing voice.

She shook her head when he kissed her neck. "Why don't they just leave the door open if it's unoccupied then?"

"Because an open door means a common room and closed door means private room. You've never been to a party before, have you?" He inquired with amusement shining in his eye.

Ibuki shook her head, being honest. "No. I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "Don't be. Now, if at any time you wanna stop, slow down, go home, whatever, just say so, ok?" After she nodded uncertainly, he started kissing her again and his hand moved up to cup one of her breasts. He paused when she backed away from him a bit. "Stop?"

"What are we here to do?" She inquired in a soft, vulnerable voice.

"What do you want to do?" Tetsuo asked with a playful grin.

Play on my computer at home and forget that I'm almost an adult… "I don't know." Maya replied.

He frowned thoughtfully for a moment then held her close again. "Is this ok?"

"Yes." She responded, hugging him back.

He reached down and squeezed her bum gently and caressed it as he kissed her neck. "Is this ok?" He inquired in a soft husky voice.

Ibuki felt her eyes rolling back a bit in her head and fluttered her eyelashes. "Yes…"

One of Tetsuo's hands slid back up her body and went under her sweater and squeezed and fondled her breast. He paused for a moment when he realized he was touching bare flesh and not a bra and smiled before kissing her ear. "Is this ok?"

Maya swallowed nervously, feeling a tingling feeling traveling throughout her body. "… Yes."

"May I make love to you?" He asked, leaning back a bit to look into her eyes.

"… No, I'm not ready. I'm sorry, I…" She paused when he pressed a finger to her lips.

"It's ok. Do you want to do something else?" He leaned into her and kisses her lips and darted his tongue into her mouth as if to emphasize what he meant.

"Oh… um… ok." Maya replied. What!?

"You don't have to." Nagano stated in a reassuring tone. He smiled and caressed her cheek with his thumb.

The girl smiled and nodded. "It's ok." She said a little more certainly. He said I could stop if I wanted to, after all… It might be fun. She looked back at him as he watched her expectantly. After several long tense moments she inquired, "What are we waiting for?"

"For you to start…" He grinned at her.

Oh… I thought he was at least going to take off his own pants… "Oh, I'm sorry. I've never done this before." I must look so naïve… Maya bit her lip nervously, unsure of what to do.

The amused expression returned to Tetsuo's face and he nodded at her. "Ok Maya-chan… get on your knees and open your mouth."

After a brief moment of panic, she complied, looking up at him expectantly. He unzipped his pants and pulled his member out and Maya blushed as she got her first real look at a very erect penis. She opened her mouth to make a comment about how she thought it was too big for her and he chose that moment to insert it. She squeaked in surprise and opened her mouth wider. The boy reached down and ran his fingers through her hair tenderly and thrust his hips slowly, gradually working himself deeper into her mouth.

For a while she just sat there on her heels as he thrusted but then hesitantly she started moving her tongue. He was longer than she expected but wasn't very thick so her jaw wasn't getting stretched overly much. She looked up into his eyes as her tongue moved against his flesh and was encouraged when he groaned softly. He leaned over a little and held her head still as his thrusts gained in speed. "Is it ok? Am I going to fast?" He whispered down at her.

Unable to speak with her mouth stuffed as it was, Maya simply shook her head slightly and gave him a thumbs up gesture. She found herself becoming very aroused as Tetsuo's breathing became heavier and his thrusts a little faster and more shallow. She applied a little more suction and heard him groan in the most delicious manner. She nearly choked, however, when the tip of his penis hit the back of her throat. She figured he wouldn't thrust that deep again but she was wrong, instead nearly all of his thrusts reached that depth and he seemed a little frustrated that it wasn't going any deeper. What is he trying to do, ram it down my throat!?

"Relax. You're tensing up. If you want me to stop tap my leg or something, I don't want to hurt you." Tetsuo whispered in a hoarse tone.

Relax? Well maybe I can try this… No sooner had she readjusted than his next thrust buried his penis to the hilt in her mouth. She nearly melted when she heard his low groan and he paused there for several moments. Maya at first felt like she was going to choke but somehow figured out a way to keep from resist the choke reflex. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be… I can't believe I'm doing this. Just yesterday I was looking forward to a weekend spent playing my new game and being alone…

They were rudely interrupted when suddenly a knock sounded on the door. "Anyone in there?" They heard a gruff male voice inquire.

Maya pulled back from Tetsuo so quickly that he was lucky her teeth hadn't grazed him or he might have been in a lot of pain. "Yes!" The boy cried, cursing under his breath. He looked back down at Maya and saw the panicked look in her eyes. "Hey, hey it's ok. See? I told you they wouldn't come in if we responded. It's ok." The tense expression on his face made it apparent that stopping now would be quite… stressful.

"I'm sorry, it was a reflex. Are you ok?" Maya gave him a concerned look.

"Yeah… yeah. It's ok. Do you mind if we continue or would you rather stop?" His tone was almost squeaking.

Ibuki nodded uncertainly and relaxed. A moment later, he was sliding slowly back into her mouth and didn't stop until he was all the way in. She found it much easier to adjust this time and was relieved. She resumed licking as he slid in and out of her mouth and she found herself bobbing her head to his rhythm.

"Oh yeah… I'm gunna cum." Nagamo said suddenly.

Cum? Oh! He's going to ejaculate! She tried to back away but his hand was still on the back of her head as he thrusted into her mouth one last time and let out a long low groan. She jerked slightly when his seed hit the back of her throat but she calmed down and simply let it happen, as there wasn't much she could do about it. And I was just wondering what the protocol on this was… I guess I have my answer.

"Oooh… Maya-chan…." He murmured as his movements became slow and gentle. Tetsuo slid out of her mouth and turned to flop down on the bed behind them and took deep breaths for several moments as he relaxed.

Maya sat there for several moments before she realized his seed was still filling her mouth. What am I supposed to do with it?! She looked to see if the room had a sink or adjoined to a wash closet, but it was simply a bedroom. Damn it… She finally swallowed it because she was about to choke and that would have just spilled it all over her sweater. She didn't want to explain _that_ to her mother. She hesitantly sat beside him on the bed and watched him, wondering if she should leave or wait and wishing she had established that before they had started. 

Tetsuo cracked an eye open and looked at her. "You ok?"

Maya nodded a little too quickly. "Yes, I'm fine." I just don't know what to do now…

He reached out and pulled her down to lie beside him and they simply cuddled for a little while. Finally he turned onto his elbow and gave her a mischievous grin. "Want me to return the favor?"

Her eyes doubled in size. "What? No that's um… ok. I don't… um…"

"Are you sure? You'd enjoy it a lot, I think." His hand trailed down to gently rub her inner thigh. He watched her as his hand moved further up until it was touching against her panties. "You can tell me to stop if you don't like it."

Given that she was still highly aroused from when she had pleasured him, she nodded without hesitation this time. Maya watched nervously as he turned over onto his knees and slid her panties down and laid them gently on the bed to her side. He gazed at her womanhood in awe and smiled up at her, obviously stifling a laugh as he saw how embarrassed she was at his attention there. "You're beautiful." He murmured, attempting to reassure her.

"Don't stare…" She looked away, feeling bashful.

Tetsuo moved upwards on the bed to lie beside her and pulled her sweater up so he could caress her tummy while he kissed her. After she started to relax, his hand moved up to cup and massage one of her small breasts. He pulled away slightly and gave her an encouraging smile as his hand moved down to her knee then slid slowly upwards. Maya bit her lip nervously and closed her eyes. "It's ok… just relax." Nagano whispered. A moment later his hand brushed up against her outer lips. She twitched and nearly jumped off the bed but he whispered to her in a calming voice and kissed her. "If you want me to stop, I will." He whispered again. Since she didn't tell him to stop, he continued.

Tetsuo's fingers brushed through her pubic hair then moved back down to lightly press against her moistened womanhood. "My finger is going to slide in a little, but not too deep. So don't be startled. I won't hurt you." He murmured into her ear before licking it. He felt her tense up a little but not enough to discourage him, so the tip of his finger found her opening and moved inside her.

"Nnng…" Maya murmured, tensing up again.

"Ssh… it's ok. I won't hurt you. Trust me." He kissed her forehead and his finger moved deeper while his other fingers lightly brushed against her outer lips. He glanced down and watched while he manipulated her with his hand, soon feeling the tension drain out of the girl as her pleasure increased. He smiled and started kissing her neck again. Slowly his mouth moved downwards until he was suckling on a nipple, his fingers still gliding over spots that made Maya breathe more deeply.

Tetsuo's eyes met Maya's as he knelt between her legs again. Her eyes widened slightly and she was about to protest before his mouth touched her. Then she was too busy trying to keep still enough to enjoy what he was doing. She was letting out little gasps and moans as his tongue moved around inside her with a skill that exposed his skill, at least in this area of lovemaking.

Maya's back arched as her enjoyment increased. She bit her lip a little too hard at one point and drew a little blood so she had to make do without biting. "Oh!" She gasped when his tongue brushed against her clitoris and she moved back away from him.

"Too soon?" He asked in a husky voice, looking up at her.

"Too much. Not there, please." Maya gasped out. Tetsuo looked a little surprised but then resumed his previous actions. Maya sighed softly and closed her eyes, feeling her hips moving of their own accord. I can't believe I'm doing this… maybe I'm dreaming. Yeah… I was reading a romance novel and fell asleep and now I'm having a naughty dream. Real sex couldn't feel this good… Her hands reached down to move gently through Nagano's hair and subconsciously guided him to her most sensitive spots.

Ibuki's mind started to wander and she found herself wondering what Yukiko was doing right now. Likely the same thing as me… or going further. Maya suddenly thought of Yukiko doing to her what Tetsuo was. The thought triggered a spark deep inside her and she let out a strangled squeak and felt her body shaking and her eyes squeezed shut. She relaxed and moments later felt Tetsuo holding her in his arms. She murmured something unintelligible and cuddled against him. She smiled faintly as his hand made lazy circles on her exposed belly. I just had sex…

Maya's eyes opened and met Tetsuo's. "Thank you." She whispered, unable to stop smiling. Beats playing Final Fantasy 15…

Tetsuo grinned and kissed her before inquiring, "Are you sure you don't want to go all the way?"

She was tempted. She couldn't lie to herself, but she just wasn't ready and she knew that. "I'm sure. Some other time, ok?"

"Sure." He replied, trying to hide a disappointed look. 

They just cuddled there for a while before there was another knock at the door. "Anyone in this room?"

"Yeah!" Tetsuo called, annoyance clearly in his tone.

Maya blushed and straightened her clothes, suddenly self-conscious again. "Maybe we should get going. Want to go get something to eat?"

Nagano shrugged. "Sure." And so they left the party. 

For the next several months they had a fairly close relationship, but they drifted apart. Their break-up was amicable, and they remained friends even up to present day.

****************************

**_28th August 2010_****_ – Maya is 19 years old_**

"Open up your test booklets and begin." The exam proctor announced, looking up from the clock he had been watching.

Maya Ibuki, a college student about to start her last year of college, opened her exam booklet and began answering the questions. It was an ability exam for placement in the final year of college. The students would be returning to classes at the beginning of September, they were on summer break but still had to take this exam, which lasted all day. It was grueling, but necessary.

Hours later, Maya finished up the exam a little early and left, stretching and yawning. She went to her small apartment and flopped onto her bed and dozed off, exhausted from the long exam. She was awoken sometime later by her phone ringing. She groaned and rolled over to pick up the handset. "Hai? Moshi moshi." Maya said in greeting.

"Maya-chan, I'm glad I caught you. Can you talk?" The voice of Ichiro, Maya's older brother, came to her ear.

She immediately sat up despite her fatigue. His tone sounded urgent… worried. "What's wrong, big brother?"

The young Ibuki heard him sniffle and she waited anxiously for his response. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he started talking again. "It's Shiori. She… we were in an accident. There was so much blood. Oh god…" She heard him vomiting and she winced.

Shiori… his wife. She's hurt! "Big brother… what happened? Is she ok?" Maya asked.

"No… she's… oh god damn…" The sounds of more vomit interrupted her bother's reply.

The reality dawned on her then, as she realized what must be causing this strong a reaction in him… her loving and playful brother. "Is she… dead?" The girl inquired in a soft hesitant voice.

"… Yes." Ichiro finally responded. "Can you get away from college for a few days, little sister?"

"Oh! Of course, Ichi-kun! I'm on summer break. I'll be on the train first chance I get. I'll call from the first stop to tell you the arrival time." She responded immediately, looking at the closet where her suitcase was stashed and thinking about what all she would need to take.

"Thanks. Oh, dad is here now so I'll have him make the rest of the calls. See you soon sis… and… thanks." He hung up before awaiting a response.

Maya sat still for several minutes then leaned her face into her hands and cried. She hadn't known her sister-in-law all that well, but she had always felt good in the girl's presence. Finally, she straightened herself up and took a quick shower and packed her things, making sure to include a few changes of clothes and her laptop computer in her suitcase. Then she made her way to the train station and took the first train to New Osaka, which was the closest station to her brother's country home.

True to his word, Ichiro was waiting for her. "Maya-chan…" It was all he could manage before he hugged her close and cried on her shoulder.

She simply hugged him back, at a loss for words. What do you say to someone that just lost the love of their lives?

Her brother backed away and sniffed, self-consciously brushing at his tears with the back of his hand. "We should get going. There's a lot to do before the funeral."

For the first time Maya realized there was a large looking bandage showing on his left arm. "Are you ok? You're bleeding."

He glanced at his arm and shrugged. "I'll be ok. One of the glass pieces gashed my arm. It's no big deal."

Maya frowned and followed her brother to his car and they rode to his house in silence. For the next few hours, she spent most of her time greeting family members and friends of her brother's and sister-in-law's that she barely knew or had never even met. She did as much as she could to take the burden off of her brother and makes things a little less stressful for him, but she knew she could never help him enough. Only time would heal his wounds.

****************************

**_10th January 2010_****_ – Maya is still 19_**

Maya was studying in the library when a military officer approached her. He glanced at a photo then sat down next to her, which immediately got her attention. "Excuse me ma'am, are you Ibuki Maya?"

Maya nodded carefully, wondering what business the man could possibly have with her. "Something I can help you with, sir?"

"My name is Major Kono. Your performance and test scores have caught our attention. Have you given any thought to joining the military?" The major inquired.

The young Ibuki stared at him with her mouth hanging open. She hadn't even considered it. She always thought she'd end up working for a software company of some sort. "I'm into computers. Not… you know… killing people."

Offense flashed on the man's face for a moment then he smiled, accustomed to such responses. "There are many technical and computer-related jobs in the military, young lady, and very few of them involve killing people. Might I add, we have the most advanced computers on the planet and use them in far more interesting ways then designing computer games."

Ooo… advanced computers… just think of what I could do with one of those badboys… After an almost sexual-thrill moment of considering the possibilities, Maya looked at the officer. "How advanced, Kono-shousa?"

The major smiled. "Come with me, I'll show you a few of them." Needless to say, she was hooked after she left that military complex and had already signed up to go into the military academy when she graduated college in a few months.

****************************

**_3rd October 2011_****_ – Maya is 20 years old_**

Maya sat on the bed in her hotel room, sighing with relief. "I'm finally done… I survived basic training! I never thought it was possible…" Granted, I barely met the minimum requirements… but that's more than sufficient for a tech job! 

She looked into the mirror and shook her head, not even recognizing herself for a moment. She had had long hair since she was a little girl, and now it was short. Very short. She tilted her head to one side and then the other and frowned, brushing the hair one way then the other with her fingers then she smiled. "It's not half bad… I guess it can grow on me." She ruffled her hair a bit and shook her head to give the short hair a little more volume and nodded in satisfaction. "It's cute."

Ibuki then flipped in her laptop and connected it to the broadband port supplied by the hotel and immediately ran her security program so she couldn't be hacked or observed. She readjusted herself so she was lying on her stomach propped up on her elbows and started reading her emails from the last few weeks. Mostly they were congratulations for surviving basic training, well wishes, and questions on when she would visit. She smiled when she read that her brother had met a nice girl and they were spending the weekend together. Good, he's been so lonely since Shiori died.

Maya grinned as she read a rather humorous email from Tetsuo, which she responded to and then flipped off her computer. Normally she was happy to spend the whole night on her computer, but today she had graduated from basic training and she was joining her fellow graduates at a local bar to relax, drink, and forget the hellish drill instructor they had been subjected to during their training.

Ibuki was tempted to change into her regular clothes, but apparently it was a tradition to attend Miyato's Bar in full uniform after graduating basic training. She looked into the mirror and brushed the uniform off and gave her reflection a bright smile then walked to the bar. As expected, several of her comrades were already in attendance and each had an empty shot glass and were working on their first bottles of beer. "Hey guys." She greeted with a smile.

They all smiled and stood up, giving her a salute. "Good evening, Lieutenant!" Ayabito greeted with a smile.

Maya blushed and returned their salutes after a moment of hesitation. "At ease." Damn, I don't know if I'll ever get accustomed to that. She slid onto a stool at their oversized table and noticed an MP sitting at another table keeping an eye on them so she gave him a respectful nod and a smile. He simply returned the nod and sipped at a bottle of cola. He didn't seem sour, just very professional so she didn't give him a second thought.

"All right Ibuki, you have to catch up to the rest of us!" Okabe stated, pouring her a cup of sake. "Drink up!"

Maya bit her lip nervously. She knew there would be drinking, but she had never had alcohol before and she was a bit nervous. "Thank you." She swallowed down the sake and winced, much to her comrades' merriment.

"All right we popped her alcohol cherry!" Sakoda cried. It had been a source of constant teasing once they found out she had never had a drink before.

Ibuki blushed and felt like crawling under the table and hiding by the stares she received. She laughed nervously and looked up as a server approach. "What will you be drinking, ma'am?" She was asked.

Maya looked around at the others. "Uh… I'm not sure. What are you all having?"

"Beer." Ayabito stated, holding up a bottle of Kirin beer. "But you don't want to drink beer after sake, you'll be under the table. Stick with sake, cutie." He flashed her a friendly smile.

She saw no disagreement from the others so Ibuki smiled up at the waitress. "Sake, please." She glanced around and noticed most of the others were sticking with sake as well and only Ayabito was brave, or foolish enough to mix drinks. "I'm going to get drunk anyway, aren't I?"

"Absolutely!" Sakoda assured her. "But don't worry, our friend over there won't let you do anything too embarrassing. Though he might not mind if you decide to flash everyone…" 

He was silenced when Toyoshima elbowed him in the ribs. "Don't pay any attention to Sakoda." She assured Maya. "We won't let you embarrass yourself."

Maya blushed as she poured herself another shot of sake and downed it, feeling her cheeks warming up. "It's… very good. Ha ha…"

"That a girl!" Okabe called, raising his glass in salute to her.

They slowed down in the drinking so they wouldn't get too drunk and end up in the brig, and started playing pool. Maya, who had never played before, was pleasantly surprised to play reasonably well and had a lot of fun. She found herself laughing a lot easier than usual and soon was feeling sleepy and realized she was getting drunk. "I need to sit down…" She informed the others and plopped down in her stool and nearly lost her balance.

"No more sake for you, Ibuki." Ayabito chuckled as he ordered some water for her. "Drink at least two glasses before you leave so you won't be hung over tomorrow."

"Thank you." Maya nodded in thanks and rubbed at her eyes and rested her chin on her arm.

The conversation turned to future plans and discussions on what their assignments were, which Maya mostly tuned out. She had heard all of their assignments and she was a bit too fuzzy-brained to care about their future plans. She didn't realize she had dozed off until one of her comrades shook her shoulder. "Huh?" She sat up and blinked.

"Finish your water. The bar is about to close." Sakoda informed her.

"Oh… ok." Maya rubbed her eyes and blushed when she realized she had been drooling. She dabbed her chin clean and downed her water and got up and was relieved to find that she was sober enough walk (mostly) straight. "Good night, all. And good luck!"

The others gave her one last salute before parting ways. Ibuki blushed when she heard them still joking about her first encounter with alcohol. When she got to her apartment she visited the wash closet and then plopped down on top of the covers of her bed and fell into a blissful sleep.

******************************__**

**_19th August 2013_****_ – Maya is 22 years old_**

Maya Ibuki stretched and glanced at the clock. Two more minutes before classes let out for the weekend… I can't wait for next week… hands on learning is so much more fun and interesting than learning computer theory and military history and application. Finally the class was dismissed and she breathed a sigh of relief and started heading to the door, her mind already on what she would do for the weekend.

"Maya-chan!" Her friend Remi called to her, rushing up to her side. 

"Hi Remi-chan. What's going on?" Ibuki inquired with a smile in greeting.

The girl was practically dancing in the hallway. "I received my assignment! I'll be joining the KAOS team! Can you believe it?! I'll be working on the most advanced super-computer ever!" [AN: She doesn't know about the MAGI system, of course.]

Maya smiled, though inwardly she was very disappointed. She had worked very hard towards gaining that assignment for herself. Likely she would just be a regular systems analyst now. "Congratulations. I'm surprised you received your assignment so early! We still have almost four months until graduation." DIE! DIE! No… I'm happy for her. Really I am. Really…

"I know, they informed me because I'm graduating early. I'm leaving tonight! I have to call my parents and tell them the good news! Take care and good luck, Maya-chan!" Remi exclaimed. She grabbed the other girl into an embrace, and very surprisingly kissed her on the mouth.

Maya blinked in surprise, especially when the other girl's tongue slipped into her mouth. She was about to deepen the kiss when the other girl broke it off and waved before running to her room. The young lieutenant stared after her, feeling as if everyone in the hall was staring at her when in fact they had mostly ignored the girls other than a curious glance. She made her way to her room and was surprised to see a blonde woman leaning against the wall next to her dorm room.

The girl was about to go into her room under the assumption that the woman was waiting for someone else, when she spoke. "Ibuki-shoui, am I right?"

Maya froze, her hand on her door handle, and turned to look at the lovely blonde woman. "Oh, were you waiting for me? What can I help you with?"

"Akagi Ritsuko, it's nice to meet you. May I come inside?" The young doctor inquired, giving her a very business-like look.

If you're here to sweep me off my feet, sure! Oh… I've been without romance too long... Maya noticed the doctor's badge marked her as being a very important person, though she didn't seem military. "Of course, come inside please." They walked into her dorm room and Maya sat down on her bed, fidgeting with the collar of her uniform. "What did you wish to speak to me about?"

"Your work here at the academy has not gone unnoticed. Especially your application to join the KAOS program." Ritsuko began.

Lt. Ibuki shook her head slightly. "My friend just informed me she was given the spot on that program. There was only one opening."

"Yes, of course. I am not associated with that project. I am from a more… discrete organization. We would like you to work with us. I can't say too much until you have gone through all the standard non-disclosure procedures, of course." Dr. Akagi informed her.

"But… I was hoping to get into the KAOS program. I'll take a job as a systems analyst if I have to, but I was hoping for something a little more… exciting. And important. No offense, but I don't want to work for a counter-intelligence agency." Maya was about to tell the doctor she could go ahead and leave when the next statement made her blood quicken.

"If you think the KAOS system is exciting, you'd cum in your panties by working with me. Now… are you interested or shall we forget we ever talked." Ritsuko inquired.

"… Where do I sign?" Maya responded with an excited smile. Graduating early was a big plus as well as joining NERV to work on the MAGI system and Project: EVA. 

****************************

**_5th February, 2014_****_ – Maya is still 22_**

Maya and Ritsuko were working on the MAGI system, as it had been giving them problems of late. "What's it say now?" The blonde doctor inquired, peeking out of the casing of Casper.

"It's still showing the inconsistency… actually it's increased." The young lieutenant reported.

The doctor looked at the guts of the giant computer again and shook her head. This problem had proven to be more and more stressful by the day and Commander Ikari was beginning to give the two of them sterner looks than usual. He expected results, and he expected them soon. "Mother… what is wrong?" Ritsuko whispered. Damn… if only she hadn't killed herself right after completing the system… She stepped out of the machine and walked over to the display panel that Maya was observing, grabbing her cup of lukewarm coffee as she went. "Any change?" She took a sip and winced at the cooling bitter taste.

Lt. Ibuki shook her head. "No, sempai. It's still showing a 2.37% inconsistency."

"And even 0.01% is more than we are wanting… DAMN IT!" The doctor threw her coffee cup across the room in a moment of frustration. "What am I missing?!"

Maya scrunched down in her seat a little bit, intimidated by the display of anger, and frowned in thought. Her finger tapped against the control panel as her mind worked. "It had to have been something your mother thought she accounted for, her was going to try to fine tune…" She let her gaze wander and it landed on the coffee maker as the doctor was getting another cup and glancing at the shattered cup with a trace of shame on her face. A realization dawned on her then. "The filtration system!"

Dr. Akagi leaned back against one of the other control interfaces and raised an eyebrow as she sipped her coffee. "What about it?"

"It's turned up too high!" The lieutenant stated in a fast, energetic tone.

The doctor quickly shook her head. "No, it has to be at that setting or the information from the three components would get jumbled together."

"Exactly!" Maya stood up and walked over to the skeptical-looking Ritsuko, waving her hands enthusiastically. "Think about it, sempai. Melchior, Balthasar, and Casper are meant to be conferring on all decisions and come to a consensus. We're filtering some of the information they give to each other, and thus it creates inconsistency!"

Ritsuko blinked. She's right... "I see your point. However, we cannot process information from three different sources when they're not even being separated in a logical fashion. They may be able to interface with each other better, but we won't understand what they're telling us. We need the filter… we have to find another way."

Maya looked visibly deflated for a moment and they both turned to look at the computers. She frowned and looked up at Ritsuko. "Why don't we build a better interface then?"

"We can't..." The doctor paused as she considered it. She saw the look on Maya's face, realizing the girl felt she was right but was ready to shut up and take orders if need be. Wait… if we re-route the interface through the secondary processors instead of the primaries… oh my. "Maya, you're a genius!" The blonde doctor hugged her young protégé and almost literally dived back into the guts of Casper. The young lieutenant blushed and felt happy. She was ecstatic when Dr. Akagi said, "Come help me realign these interfaces, then we'll see how you do with Balthasar on your own. Under my close supervision of course."

Maya couldn't stop smiling as she helped the good doctor closely to finish the alterations. After they were done, the young lieutenant looked at the readouts and nodded. "0.00000000000013% inconsistency."

Ritsuko breathed a sigh of relief and plopped down in a chair. "Well below allowable parameters! Finally… we're done. I'll take you out to dinner tonight to celebrate. My treat! The Olive Tree, if you have no objections." She sighed then. "Now I'll have to go report to the commander. Wish me luck…"

Maya nodded with a big grin on her face. "Of course! Good luck… and I'm looking forward to dinner! And the Olive Tree sounds perfect." Oh my… that's a cozy romantic restaurant… I'm so happy!

The young lieutenant wasn't called by the doctor that night, however. After informing the commander of the good news, he had thanked her in a most personal manner… by seducing her. Maya ate instant noodles for dinner that night alone at nearly 11 pm after her hunger became too strong to ignore. The next day, Ritsuko was happy and carefree and Maya was quiet and tired, and the good doctor never noticed the change.

****************************

**_27th August 2014_****_ – Maya is 23 years old_**

Maya walked up to stand beside the young Ayanami Rei, who was staring at Eva Unit 00. "Impressive, isn't it?" She stated, attempting to start a conversation with the quiet girl. She looked at the girl in the corner of her eye and saw she was getting no response, not even a nod. "In a few months you'll be test-piloting it for real and not just in simulations. Are you nervous?"

Rei turned slightly to regard the lieutenant. Perhaps thinking it best to respond to her superior officer, or simply to get the older girl to leave her alone, she responded. "I do not believe so."

Maya bit her lip. It wasn't the response she was expecting. "So, what's on your mind?"

The first child simply stared at her.

"Not feeling very talkative, are you? That's ok. I don't mind." Lt. Ibuki continued talking, despite the lack of response. "It amazes me that an assignment where I was simply to help maintain and possibly upgrade the most advanced supercomputer ever constructed has turned into this. It seems amazing that a gargantuan piece of machinery like that is going to be piloted by you, a 13 year old girl. Or are you 14 now?" No response. "14, ok. Say, wanna go see a movie with me?"

"For what purpose?" Rei inquired. She seemed almost surprised by the offer.

"To get out, do something. Get to know each other. We'll be working closely for the next year or so at least, saving humanity. Or we can just get something to eat and talk." Maya smiled and looked at the girl who continued to stare without expression. "No to both? It's either that or we go swimming or shopping or just to get our nails done. What do you say?"

"… Are you ordering me to accompany you, Ibuki-chuii?" The blue-haired girl inquired in a flat voice.

"Only if you don't accompany me by choice." Maya replied with a friendly smile.

Rei stared at her for over a minute. Then she simple stated, "I wish to remain here."

The lieutenant sighed. "Ok, then I order you to accompany me for the next few hours. Starting immediately." I can't believe she made me order her…

Ayanami nodded. "Understood."

The first child followed Maya silently to the Blue Lotus, a fairly nice restaurant that was known for sudden bouts of humor or dance from the servers and cooks and was popular amongst young consumers. The cute computer technician assumed the joyful atmosphere would allow the pilot to open up a bit. Instead, she ate her dinner silently and only responded when asked direct questions. "You're quite a challenge, Ayanami-kun. But I don't mind. I didn't want to be alone today. I've been going home alone for a year now, so even if I am accompanied by a quiet shy girl, I am thankful she is at least pretty." That should get a response of some sort…

Rei ate a rice ball.

Wow… so expressive. I heard she lost her parents a number of years ago… maybe that's why she's so quiet. Sempai mentioned that Katsuragi-taii did not speak for a number of years after she lost her family in the Second Impact… Maya finished her dinner, not giving up on trying to evoke a response from the girl.

Next, they went to the movie theater. "Pick a movie." The lieutenant offered.

"Any movie you choose is sufficient." Ayanami replied.

"Pick a movie anyway. Consider it an order." The dark-haired girl stated in a teasing tone.

Rei pointed to a movie at random. "This is my choice then."

"Let me rephrase. Look at the movies and pick one that seems interesting to you. I did not ask you to put your finger on whatever movie selection it happened to fall on." Maya bit her tongue to keep from laughing. She was enjoying this. It was better than another lonely night reading messages and playing the same tired games. If she didn't know better, she would have thought she saw annoyance flash over the young pilot's features.

The first child looked at the movie selections and even read the descriptions of the movies. Finally, she pointed out a movie. "This is my choice."

Maya smiled. A romance movie… it was precisely what I would have chosen if I came her alone. This won't be so bad after all. I was afraid she'd pick that gore fest movie she was looking at. They watched the movie in silence and Maya noticed the girl looked slightly confused several times throughout the movie. After I was over, they walked in the park. "You looked a little confused during the movie. Is there anything you want to ask me?"

At first Rei shook her head, then she reconsidered. "Why did Sagawa not stay and fight against the uprising peasants as his lord ordered him to, instead of leaving to retrieve Hitori from those demons? It was his duty to do as his lord commanded."

Lt. Ibuki leaned against a tree and titled her head slightly to the side. "Well, he was in love with Hitori. And he felt his lord was wrong in trying to slaughter all those peasants instead of simply removing the officer that had raped and murdered that shopkeeper's daughter. It was a choice of love and conscience over duty."

"But… there is nothing greater than duty." Ayanami argued, shaking her head.

Maya shrugged. "That is true for the most part, but sometimes love is more powerful than duty. Sometimes love is even more powerful than destiny."

Rei frowned. She disagreed but saw no point in arguing the matter further. At least, she thought she disagreed. A small part of her, however, realized that the lieutenant knew more about life and emotions than she did and it was very possible that she was correct in her observation. She kept all this to herself, however. "

Maya looked up at the time that was displayed on a nearby building. "We still have time to do some shopping. So you have your choice. Clothes, or toys."

The red-eyed girl looked almost exasperated, or at least as exasperated as someone can look without showing facial expressions. "If I must choose, then clothing would be the more practical choice."

"Toys it is, then." Maya replied, taking her hand and walking towards a shop that sold video games, models, and various other toys.

"Ibuki-chuii, I chose clothes." Unit 00's pilot objected.

"Yes, but for the wrong reasons. We're not shopping for practicality, we're shopping for fun. Thus, toys it is. Do you have a computer?" The dark-haired girl held up a fun looking adventure game.

"No." Ayanami responded simply.

Maya stared at her. Incon_cei_vable! "Well, you should get one someday… soon." How can you not have a computer!?!?!?!? "Well… what else can we find. You don't look like the type to play with models." She held up a stuffed toy. "How about something like this?"

Rei looked almost horrified. "I think not." She replied simply.

They continued walking and Maya turned around to ask her if she was interested in books when she noticed the girl's red eyes fixed on something. She followed the girl's gaze and saw she was looking at a beautifully crafted unicorn figurine. "Let's get it." The lieutenant offered.

The blue-haired girl looked at her. "Get what?"

"The figurine you were just looking at. Pick it up, it's yours." Maya gave her a kind smile.

Ayanami shook her head. "It's not practical. I could use a bookmark, I have been folding down the pages of books that I read."

The dark-haired girl laughed softly and picked up the unicorn figurine. "We'll get both." She turned and walked towards the bookmarks without allowing the girl to protest. She quickly selected a bookmark and held it up for scrutiny. On it was a unicorn running by a lovely brook. "Stick with the unicorn motif?"

Rei shook her head and looked at the bookmarks. After several minutes of consideration, she picked up a bookmark and handed it to Maya. "This one will do."

The lieutenant looked at it, finding a picture of two lovers embracing and the caption of _'Love is the grandest of adventures.'_ adornng it. She looked at the young pilot for several moments then a small smile touched her lips and she nodded. "Wonderful choice, Ayanami-kun." She walked back over to the games and picked up two copies of the adventure game she had looked at earlier. "One for me and one for you when you get a computer."

"But…" Rei started to protest.

"Let's go get these and then I'll walk you home. I hope you had a good time." Maya made the purchases and walked the girl home, despite the small protest she put up. "Someday you'll appreciate it when someone spends time with you."

The red-eyed girl remained silent. She was alone, but was content in that. Why would she need someone else? Though she tried to deny it to herself, she had enjoyed her day with the lieutenant. But she made no attempts to spend any more time with the older girl and so they resumed a professional relationship, despite the chance at friendship they once had.

****************************

**_6th June 2015_****_ – Maya is still 23 years old_**

Maya sighed and stretched before leaving her station. She waved at Shigeru as he took over for his shift, not noticing that the man was watching her ass with interest as she walked away. As she was approaching the subway she paused and turned to see a boy sitting on the bench facing the station. "Ikari-kun?"

Shinji didn't notice her at first, as his earpieces were in and he was listening to his SDAT player. He happened to glance up and saw the cute lieutenant staring at him. "Ibuki-chuii?" He pulled off his earpieces and stared back at her.

"Ikari-kun… why are you sitting out here alone? It's well past dark." Lt. Ibuki inquired, sitting down next to the boy.

He retreated into his shell, turning slightly to glance away.

"Ikari-kun…. Shinji. Do you want to talk about it?" Maya inquired with concern in her voice.

Shinji remained silent for several long moments then sighed. She wasn't going to go away and leave him alone. "Things are just… off today."

Lt. Ibuki raised an eyebrow when he didn't elaborate. "Because of what happened when you were absorbed by your EVA unit?"

The young Ikari shook his head, a momentary display of worry passing over his face at the mention of that recent incident. "No. Well… partially. Ever since then, Asuka-san has been… very antisocial. Misato-san has been distant as well and I'm not sure if I mind or not." He frowned and glanced away from the girl.

"What do you mean? Why would you not mind?" Maya inquired.

Shinji stared down at his hand.

"Shinji-kun?" She prompted.

Finally he responded. "I've been alone for most of my life. I think I might prefer it."

"But you're not alone. I'm here with you right now. And there are others that care about you. Katsuragi-shousa has had a lot on her mind, of late, I think. You should not take it personally. As for Pilot Soryu… she has never been the friendliest of girls, ne?" Maya grinned playfully and elbowed the third child gently.

Shinji looked up at her. She could see that part of him agreed and part of him either disagreed or was too afraid to admit it. "Perhaps I should return home. Misato-san and Asuka-san were arguing when I left… they are likely finished now." He got up and waved and began to walk towards Major Katsuragi's apartment.

"Shinji-kun!" Maya called. She waited until he turned to look at her. "Happy birthday."

The third child looked shocked. "Someone remembered?" He said softly, likely thinking she couldn't overhear him. He smiled brightly and thanked her before running off.

Maya smiled and went home, happy that she had brightened the young pilot's day.

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**_18th August 2015_****_ – Maya is 24 years old_**

Maya sat down in front of her computer after changing into some comfortable clothes and stared at the screen, but she just couldn't bring herself to flip the machine on. She glanced at the clock and then stretched out with her hands behind her head. So much has happened today. The day started out so normally, but first we discover that Shinji-kun is developing an S2 organ, and then I go and suck him off just because sempai rejected me...

The captain paused at that thought. It was very screwed up and she felt guilty as hell for the act, but it _had_ been fun, and she hadn't had sex with anyone but herself since a while before joining Project: Eva. Wow… it's been a year and a half since the last time I was with someone.

Maya stood up and walked into the kitchen and started warming up some sake, feeling she needed some tonight. Her reflection of the day continued as she started drinking. Then after all that, the commander calls me into his office a few hours later to promote me out of the blue stating that he had noticed me growing closer to Shinji-kun… which makes no sense because we haven't even talked that much… unless you consider my duties as sempai's assistant. Before I can even absorb that the angel alert sounds off, obviously Ayanami having an accidental discharge, and sempai gets angry at me for getting promoted. Everything is just getting so fucked up…

The young captain pushed the sake away before she passed the 'buzzed' threshold and rested her head on her crossed arms, staring at the wall. Her thoughts returned to the young Ikari and she found herself wondering, Is it better to be close to someone you don't love, or to be lonely? She shook that thought off as best she could and resolved to try her best to develop a healthy friendship with the boy and not let herself wallow in despair. It's just not like me…

Maya sighed and returned to her computer and flipped it on. She saw an email from her brother and immediately clicked on it to read it, hoping it would cheer her up. What she saw made her freeze in place. "Maya. I stopped to write you and tell you the good news! I got married to a girl named Aya last night. Can you believe I found love again? Sorry I couldn't invite you to the wedding but it happened so fast and I know you're busy on that computer project of yours so I thought an email would serve just as well. Gotta go, we ordered room service and it just arrived! –Ichiro" 

Maya stared at the email and read it again just to make sure she hadn't misread. "He got married… and I didn't even know he was dating anyone. He's found love twice… I haven't even found it once. All I found was an underage boy to suck off and wallow in my self-pity with." She flipped off the computer and left her apartment and wandered aimlessly, as her thoughts scattered to the winds.

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Another chapter comes to a close! I hope it was enjoyable and worth the wait. Hopefully the next one won't take two months. (Yeah, I always say that.) Oh and as I mentioned in my livejournal, I started a forum at a message board where you can discuss my fanfics and ask questions or make comments or wharever. It's at: **** Anyway, Next Chapter: Shinji spends some time getting to know Kaoru, and Asuka and Rei see what kind of trouble they can get into. Until next time, la revedere!


	17. Fire and Ice

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Yes, I know, it's been like 5 months since the last update. This chapter has been sitting on my computer half-written since around November I think, but I've been busy. I'm on tour in Japan until May, in case some of you don't know. And today was the first time since December where I've even had a chance to write. I have no scheduled gigs next week so perhaps I'll have time to get another chapter out… more likely I'll add a chapter to one of my DBZ stories, or work on some other story. We'll see.

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 17: Fire and Ice

Kaoru watched Shinji eat with an amused smile on his face. "Shinji-kun, have you not eaten this week?"

The third child blinked and then blushed in embarrassment. "Ah… gomen. I feel like I haven't." Actually I feel more like I haven't eaten in months… why am I so hungry? I just ate a few hours ago…

"Do not worry yourself over it, Shinji-kun. I find it fascinating." The fifth child stated, still smiling.

"May I…" The dark-haired boy paused and looked down, wondering if he was being too forward with a boy he had just met. "Ah… sorry. But may I ask you a question?"

Nagisa chuckled and nodded. "You have already done so, but you may ask another, yes."

"Ah… ha ha…" Shinji scratched the back of his head nervously and laughed for a moment before becoming serious. "The way Rei… eh… Ayanami-san was looking at you, I got the impression that you two knew each other. You looked at her several times the same way." They stared at each other for several moments before the third child realized that the other boy was still awaiting the question. He even acts like Rei-chan a little… "Do you know Ayanami?"

Kaoru nodded. "In a manner of speaking. In a way, she is my little sister. Perhaps I should be cross with you over your relationship with her. You haven't even asked my permission to court her…" The boy smiled in a teasing manner.

Shinji's eyes widened. Rei's… older brother? But… she's a clone. Oh, but of her original self… so this boy is… her brother? Her older brother? Yes… they look so much alike. Oh my… permission to court her? HE KNOWS?! The third child began a coughing fit. "I… I didn't know! Gomen! Ah… may I have permission… ah… oh my…" I think my heart stopped…

The silver-haired boy laughed freely, ignoring the strange looks that the other patrons of the restaurant gave him. "I did not meet Rei-chan before today, Shinji-kun. My permission is unnecessary. You're cute when you panic."

Shinji froze. Cute? He then blinked several times. Is he… flirting with me?

"Inappropriate word choice?" Nagisa inquired, seeing the distress on the boy's face. "What do you say in this region… you're funny when you panic?"

Word choice? Oh I see… culture difference. "Yes, I suppose so. Um… I'm done eating. Are you ready to go?" Shinji inquired, changing the subject.

"Of course." The red-eyed boy responded then stood, placing his hands into his pockets casually.

They strolled out of the restaurant, no destination seeming to be on their minds when the fifth child paused. "Let's go the other way. I have an apartment this way. I would be honored if you stayed overnight with me."

The third child blinked in surprise. Stay the night? How unusual. "Ok." Why am I spending this much time with him? Oh yes… to give Rei-chan and Asuka-chan a chance to become friends… and I suppose so I can do the same with Kaoru-kun. He's a bit… strange though. But nice. Shinji followed the fifth child to his apartment to the sounds of Ode to Joy being hummed.

Later, as they were lying down and falling asleep, Kaoru turned to look down at Shinji where he lay on the floor. "You have something on your mind, Shinji-kun? You have a very thoughtful expression on your face."

Shinji blinked and looked up at the older boy, wondering how he could tell his exact facial expression in the dim light. "Well… I was wondering if you could tell me why Ayanami acts so… aloof. You seem to be her total opposite… are you sure you are related?"

The silver-haired boy laughed. "Yes, I am quite sure. However, as to her behavior, I can only speak of my limited observations. She seems… very thoughtful and quiet, but definitely has feelings and opinions that she makes known in her own way. And I think she cares for you more than you may realize."

Shinji blinked and looked up at the older boy. "Why do you say that?"

Kaoru smiled and shook his head. "She seems willing to put up with a lot for you."

The third child frowned in confusion then realized what he was likely talking about. "Oh! No, Asuka-san isn't that bad. Just a little… passionate. You're only seeing her at her worst. She has been through a lot… we all have. Don't judge her for earlier, please."

The fifth child, though he hadn't been talking about Asuka, kept silent about that matter. "Good night, Shinji-kun."

"Oh uh… good night, Kaoru-kun." Shinji replied before rolling over to go to sleep. I could sure use my SDAT player… The third child's thoughts then turned to his other two fellow pilots. Asuka-chan and Rei-chan… they're so different but they compliment each other well. Like… fire and ice. But where does that leave me? Where do I fit in? My head hurts… Some time later, he was finally able to fall asleep and had strange dreams about flame and ice coming together to form steam.

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"Willkommen in meinem Schlafzimmer! [Welcome to my bedroom!]" Asuka announced, gesturing to her room with a grand gesture.

Rei entered without comment and sat down on the floor. She watched the German girl silently.

"You really should talk more. You make people nervous when you stare like that." The second child commented in a huff, plopping down onto the floor next to the first child.

"I see." The blue-haired girl responded.

The German girl waited for something more to be said but gave up when Rei continued to stare back at her. "See what I mean? You could have said 'I see, thank you Asuka, I will talk more from now on so you don't feel like you're conversing with a wall.' But instead all I get is 'I see' and a blank stare."

The girl with the red eyes blinked. Is it really that important to you, Shinji, that I become friendlier with Pilot Soryu? "I will… attempt to say more than I am accustomed to, then."

Asuka raised her arms up triumphantly. "Danke! [Thank you!] That's all I ask. Now, let's eat!" She gestured to an assortment of cookies, candies, and various other junk food items. She then picked up a hotdog and began to eat it. "Mmm… nothing better than processed Schweinefleisch [pig meat/pork] on bread."

Rei watched in fascinated horror as the other girl engulfed the hotdog. "How can you _eat_ that?"

The red-haired girl cocked Ayanami a grin and replied, "What? It's _good_! You should try some."

"I do not like eating meat." The blue-haired girl replied as she started looking through the stash of goodies and processed food items. "Is there any rice? Or noodles? Or soup… something edible?"

Asuka indicated one item after another with a pointing finger. "The non-meaty items… cheese pizza, bean burrito, and cheesy nachos, then of course there's the sweets… sugar processed to the most delicious extremes."

Rei stared at the food. "Remind me why you were the one to buy all the food?"

"Because I sweet-talked you into it!" Unit 02's pilot replied with a teasing grin.

"…………. Indeed." The first child frowned at the cheese on the chips and pizza. "Pilot Soryu…"

"Rei-chan, call me Asuka. Or Mistress Soryu, whichever you prefer." The second child interrupted her.

"…………………… Asuka-chan, cheese comes from milk. Milk comes from animals. Therefore, milk is, for all intents and purposes, meat." Rei stated matter-of-factly.

"Then eat the burrito. No cheese in that… I think. I didn't realize you were _this_ picky." The red-haired pilot griped, stuffing some pizza into her mouth.

The first child frowned. "One does not have to devour the flesh of animals to enjoy a good meal, Pil… Asuka-chan."

"…. Change of subject. Shinji-kun… how far have you two gotten?" The German girl inquired with a naughty grin as she stretched out, reaching for a chocolate snack of some kind.

"In what?" Rei inquired in a confused tone.

"You know… kissing, smooching, snogging, groping, petting, tasting, touching, rubbing, teasing, squeezing, shagging, screwing, _fucking_. Need I go on?!" Asuka laughed as she finished naming off every term she could think of.

The first child's cheeks turned red as she blushed at the terms being used. "Oh… um… we have not kissed, or anything else. You are the only person thus far that I have kissed."

The blue-eyed girl blinked in surprise. I was sure that they had at least made out… if not screwed. How… interesting. I wonder why they haven't kissed? "Why haven't you two kissed yet?"

Rei contemplated that for a while then responded. "I do not know."

"…. Oh." The second child said. After a thoughtful pause, the next question was, "Have you considered asking him to kiss you?"

The red-eyed pilot blinked. "No. That would be… inappropriate."

Asuka frowned. "Do you want him to kiss you, Rei-chan?"

The blue-haired girl considered that as she absently sniffed at a bean burrito. "……. Yes."

The second child smirked. "You realize he'll never attempt to kiss you without some encouragement, right? You'll probably have to flat out tell him to kiss you. Or take matters into your own hands and kiss him yourself."

Rei blinked. "I see. I had not considered that."

Asuka laughed softly and gazed up at Rei, momentarily distracted by the light playing across the other girl's features. "I never really noticed before how beautiful you are…"

A smile touched the first child's lips. "Thank you, Asuka-chan."

Unit 02's pilot blinked several times then blushed so deeply that her skin matched her hair. "I didn't realize I had said that out loud." Oh god, I'm so embarrassed... ok change the subject. "Wanna play some video games?"

Rei stared at the German girl blankly.

"You… don't know about video games?" Asuka asked in disbelief.

"I… have heard of them." was the clone's reply.

The German pilot snorted and flipped on a video game and handed a controller to the other girl. "You're in for a treat then. I'll go easy on you until you get the hang of it."

Another slight smile came to the first child's lips as she started playing, actually having a good time with the other girl. For a time, her troubled thoughts were forgotten as she played the games.

As for Asuka, her thoughts became more troubled, as she stole glances at Rei as they played. A general feeling of distress came to her as she realized she was developing quite a crush on the blue-haired girl. Great… even more to tell Dr. Kagame.

After the games were over, they went to bed. For quite some time afterwards, Asuka felt the stirrings of desire coursing through her veins as the other girl lay close to her for warmth and comfort as they shared the second child's futon. Twice she caught herself reaching over to touch the first child in an inappropriate manner and she cursed herself for being so conflicted over it. Either do something or don't and quit fretting over it! Finally coming to a decision, Asuka rolled onto her side for a moment and leaned over to press her lips to Rei's. After a few moments, the kiss was returned. After what seemed an eternity, they parted. "Eh…" The red-haired girl struggled to come up with something to say.

"That was pleasant. Good night, Asuka-chan." Rei stated, unknowingly giving the other girl a sense of relief for being taken off the hook.

Pleasant… she said it was pleasant… oh… her lips as so soft. I'm hopeless… Asuka squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the warmth of the other girl's skin on her own and smiling despite the tumult of her thoughts and drifting off into a dream-filled slumber.

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Maya was wandering the streets staring at the ground when she walked straight into someone. "Oh! I'm sorry…" She glanced up and blinked to see Commander Ikari glaring down at her. I keep running into him… "Commander! My deepest apologies, I wasn't watching where I was going."

Gendo continued to scowl. "Captain."

"Y… yes sir?" Captain Ibuki swallowed nervously.

"When do you plan on taking my son's virginity?" He inquired bluntly.

Maya's eyes widened to nearly impossible proportions and she blushed furiously. "Sir… I don't… I mean… I won't… how did you… oh god…"

"Don't lie to me, Maya-chan. I know it was the most fun you've had in years." The commander smirked as he looked down at the nervous captain.

"Sir… it was an impulse… It'll never happen again." The dark-haired woman continued to blush and stared at her feet in shame.

Gendo scowled again. "I see. Out of all the women in his life, the most unlikely one is the one that gets the furthest with him, but she refuses to take the next step. Ibuki, you are hereby demoted to 2nd lieutenant pending immediately." With that he started to walk away.

Maya paled and grabbed for him, intending to plead with him to retain her rank. She blinked as the man vanished and suddenly found herself on the roof of a building and had collided quite forcibly with the guard-wall at the top. She yelped and scrambled to regain her balance but fell over the side and barely managed to grab onto the roof's edge and ended up gripping it with her fingers as the rest of her body dangled down.

She started sweating as she glanced down and saw that she was at least 5 stories up. "HELP! SOMEONE HELP!!!" The young captain cried, wondering how she had gotten up there. Was I… hallucinating? I didn't drink THAT much…

She looked around as best she could but saw no one around. Of course not… only military personnel are still in the city. I have to get up on my own… come on Maya… you're in the military… you've had physical training… 4 years ago… and you haven't kept up with it… but you've _had_ it… Maya gasped and strained to pull herself up but only managed to lose her grip. "OH SHI-" *Thud*

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Ritsuko fumed in her apartment. "No wonder she was so eager to see me in a relationship with someone else… little bitch moved right in on Gendo… and gets promoted immediately! How disgusting. Well she's welcome to him. Let's see how he likes it when he cries out Yui's name." She threw the wine glass she had just drained into the wall and shattered it.

"Betrayal at every turn… first I'm upstaged by that little bitch Rei in Gendo's life… then I'm replaced by my own apprentice!" Dr. Akagi growled and looked at the door, hearing a knock. Maya come to explain and apologize? She stomped over to the door and pulled it open, fixing the visitor with her best glare. Then she blinked. "Misa-chan?"

Misato gave the blonde doctor a tired smile. "Hiya beautiful."

"You're drunk." Ritsuko stated dryly.

"A little." Major Katsuragi replied with a nod. "Mind if I crash here tonight?"

The young doctor blinked several times, surprised. "Why can't you just sleep in your own apartment?"

The purple-haired woman shrugged. "Ayanami and Soryu are having a… bonding night. A slumber party… or something. They're making a lot of noise and I didn't want to intrude… they both need it. So… I started walking and I ended up here."

"… I'm not really in the mood for company tonight." Ritsuko complained.

Misato shrugged and walked in anyway. "I won't bother you. I just want some sleep."

The doctor sighed and closed the door behind her. "Fine." She watched as the other woman plopped down on top of the covers. "At least take some clothes off and get under the covers. I don't want you to just drunkenly pass out on my bed, Misa-chan."

The purple-haired beauty sighed and stood up just long enough to pry off her clothes then pulled the covers back and crawled under them. "There."

Ritsuko blinked and then smirked. She didn't have to take them _all _off, but I'm not complaining. She glanced over at the night shirt she normally slept in then shrugged. Screw it. The doctor pulled off her own clothes and got in bed, sliding over to feel the warmth of the other woman against her skin.

She lay there staring at the ceiling, still feeling upset about what she thought had happened between Gendo and Maya. After a while, her gaze turned to look at her friend, watching her expression. Even falling asleep she looks troubled. Impulsively she leaned over and pressed her lips against Misato's, holding them there for several long moments before pulling back.

The major smiled and opened her eyes. "Sorry. Oyasumi nasai, Ritsu-chan."

Ritsuko stared at her friend for a few moments and murmured the same. I'm angry and frustrated… I need to vent some steam… More insistently this time, she leaned over and kissed her friend again, this time trailing her fingertips over the other woman's neck and collarbone then down until she cupped a breast.

Misato broke into giggles. "That tickles…" She murmured after pulling away from her friend's kiss.

The blonde doctor's eyes narrowed, anger and frustration boiling up again. "Shut up." She commanded softly and kissed Misato hard, sticking her tongue into the other woman's mouth as her hand moved over her flat belly and lower.

The purple-haired woman backed away again and blinked in surprise. "Ritsu-chan? What are you doing?" We've never been anything more than friends…

"I said shut up." Ritsuko hissed. She then started kissing and nibbling on Misato's neck as her hand moved over the other woman's moist heat. She heard a curse word choked out but ignored it, instead biting gently into the base of her friend's neck and thrusting a finger into her. The doctor felt the other woman begin to pull away again, could sense her confusion, but she didn't care then. Her fingers went deeper and she went back to kissing those soft lips. Her movements were stiff, angry, forceful… demanding. She moved her head to kiss on the other side of her friend's neck as her fingers continued their manipulation.

Misato had wanted to protest, feeling like she wasn't being given a choice in this coupling, but the passion was burning its way through her veins now so she stopped caring. A low groan escaped her lips.

Ritsuko smirked and went back to kissing the purple-haired beauty, her fingers moving with speed and skill in the other girl's moist depths and she could feel the tension of an impending orgasm begin to coil in Misato's taut belly. The major murmured her name a moment before her climax hit her full force, a strangled gasp escaping from her bruised lips as her eyes rolled back and her body tensed.

The doctor smirked and continued moving her fingers move slowly now, feeling smug from how quickly she brought the other woman to orgasm. She did feel a little better now, having vented her frustrations with her forceful ministrations, not caring that she was bruising and hurting her friend in the process.

Misato relaxed finally and peeked out from lidded eyes at her best friend. "Ow… that's going to sting in the morning."

Ritsuko scowled again. "Shut up." She commanded, reaching over to grab the major's hand and forced it over to her own sex.

The purple-haired woman got the idea and began to return the favor, still wondering what all this was about. She could see the frustration on the doctor's face and wondered what it was about. She was screwing the commander… I know they broke up but it can't have been that long since she had sex…

The blonde woman growled and pulled away slightly so that Misato's kiss landed on her chin instead of her lips then she put her arm on the other woman's shoulder and pushed her downwards, not stopping until Misato was staring at her womanhood. She looked down and was about to shove the other woman's face down but didn't have to as she did it on her own.

Ritsuko growled softly in pleasure and spread her legs wider, reaching down to run her fingers through her friend's purple tresses as she was licked and prodded with a finger or two. The doctor stared up at the ceiling, feeling almost detached from the sex act being administered on her. After what seemed an eternity, she felt the tension of orgasm gripping her body then cried out in pleasure as it was released.

After coming down from her high she opened her eyes to see Misato lying next to her and self-consciously rubbing the wetness from her mouth with the back of her hand. "So…"

"Shut up." Ritsuko repeated, putting an arm around her friend and pulling her close to cuddle up as she drifted off to sleep.

Misato sighed and figured there wasn't any use in arguing so relaxed to try to fall asleep as well, wondering why she had been seduced out of the blue.

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Another chapter drawing to a close. Next chapter: Shinji gets bum-raped by Kaoru, Asuka goes on a mad killing spree, and Maya wakes up in Never-never Land… er… no that's not right. Shinji returns home and checks up on Asuka and Rei to make sure they didn't kill each other, Ritsuko deals with some stuff, and the fate of Maya… oh yeah, and Gendo wants to make a real appearance next chapter so expect that too. Till then… cheerio. 


	18. Garden of Fools

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: It's been a ridiculously long time since the last update. Almost two years, I guess. I never intended for the hiatus to be that long… lots of stuff happened. I did a ridiculous amount of touring with both my band and another band I'm associated with… spent almost all my free time while _not_ on tour in the studio, either working with said other band or doing mixing work. I also had a fairly serious relationship with another musician and our relationship ended primarily because we never saw each other. But I think she's happy and I'm doing ok, so life goes on. Also in this time period my ex-mother-in-law, who was far more of a mother to me than my own was, passed away while we were not on the best of terms. Add to that being sexually assaulted by a guy that was giggling like an idiot the entire time, being harassed and threatened by my (seriously insane) ex-wife, and dealing with a multitude of other difficulties that continually reared their ugly heads, I didn't really feel like writing. But… I think that perhaps now I can. I always intended to finish this story, and even though it's been forever and a day and likely none of the original readers give much of a damn anymore, I still want to finish it. So I am. I have some spare time right now, so I will take advantage of it. I might have several chapters written before this one is posted… or I might just upload it when I'm done and start working on the next one… I haven't decided yet. Either way, hopefully I'll have a few chapters out throughout this week. Knock on wood, and all that rot.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 18: Garden of Fools

Shinji shivered at the sight of Unit 00 being corrupted by the 16th Angel, unable to even imagine what pain Ayanami must be feeling from the attack. He started rushing towards her, reaching out with his AT field to try to draw the angel away from the first child's Eva.

"Shinji-kun, evasive action!" Major Katsuragi cried out in command as one end of the band of light that made up the angel struck towards Unit 01.

The purple Eva barely dodged and continued moving towards Unit 00. "Ayanami!" Shinji cried in desperation. Fear tightened its hold on his chest as he heard the first child speaking softly in her Eva, the comm. unit picking up the words.

"Is this me, crying? Is this my soul… that wants to be one with Ikari? I'm sorry…" Rei reversed her AT field and reached for the self-destruct switch.

"Rei, eject immediately!" Misato ordered, after receiving the report of the reversed AT field.

"No… I must remain here to maintain the AT field." The blue eyed girl responded, sorrow and loneliness making her voice heavy. "Ikari… Shinji… I'm sorry. Sayonara."

"AYANAMI!" Shinji cried, before being blinded by the explosion. His own AT field was all that kept him from being destroyed as well. Intense sorrow and fear choked the boy as he caught sight of a shattered exit plug flying through the air, a stream of blood and LCL fluid streaming from the cracked capsule. "NO! AYANAMI!" His voice broke as he stared at the capsule, grief tearing into his soul and leaving him hollow. He was ejected from his Eva and tore out of the exit plug the moment it hit the ground and rushed to the shattered capsule, only to see the burnt and bloodied body of Ayanami Rei.

Shinji started screaming hysterically and only stopped when he realized he was being shaken violently. "Don't touch me!" The third child screamed, pulling away from the person violating his grief with their touch.

"Shinji-kun! You were having a nightmare!" A barely familiar male's voice said in a mild voice, with a touch of urgency to it.

The blue-eyed boy blinked rapidly and realized he was sitting in an unfamiliar room, soaked in sweat and crying his eyes out. "What?" It was all the pilot could manage as his mind tried to process the sudden change in his surroundings.

"Calm yourself, Shinji-kun. Are you awake now?" Kaoru inquired with an edge of amusement coloring his tone.

Shinji shook his head for a moment then realized he had been dreaming. _It… was a nightmare. Rei did not die when her Eva was destroyed… I saved her. The angel's attack on me did not miss… I was being corrupted by the angel as well… and Rei sacrificed herself to save me… even though… I can't think about that. _"I… saved her. Ayanami is alive." The dream had seemed so real, he felt it necessary to state those words so that he would believe them.

"_Did_ you save her?" Kaoru inquired in an ambiguous tone, quirking an eyebrow up slightly as a smile appeared on his lips.

Shinji stared at the other boy for several long moments, confused by the question. "Yes, I saved her, Nagisa." The third child replied finally, uncertainty still plaguing him.

"Kaoru, please. My friends use my personal name, Shinji-kun." The silver-haired boy admonished playfully.

"Gomen, Kaoru-kun." The young Ikari blushed, pushing the horrid image of the deceased Rei as far from his conscious mind as he could.

"And did she, in fact, save _you_ as well?" The fifth child asked as he stood up and placed his hands casually into his pockets.

The dark-haired pilot blinked and stared at the other boy, unable to comprehend why he would ask such a strange question. Silence fell upon them both for what seemed an eternity, and then Shinji glanced at the clock. "Thank you for allowing me to sleep here, Nag… eh… Kaoru-kun… I should return home."

"Of course. Fare well, Shinji-kun." The 17th angel smiled and bowed, remaining silent as the pilot left to return home. Soon after, the red-eyed boy left as well, strolling leisurely to NERV headquarters. Soon he was gazing up at Unit 02, with a touch of a frown on his face. "What is it about you that is… different, Kyoko?" He murmured to himself, staring up into the four eyes of the red mecha.

* * *

Gendo frowned as he stared at the soulless bodies of the first child floating in the Room of Gauf. _All the times I've seen these and the… real Rei while she was working on the Dummy Plug system… and I never noticed her… deficiency before._ He mused, shaking his head slightly. Perhaps it was because he never saw her as anything but a child, or perhaps it was because he simply never looked. He had to admit to himself, the latter was the more likely possibility. She was his daughter, in his mind, and after the diaper changing phase of a child's life is over, a father never looks at his little girl there… especially when she's reached adolescence. It just wasn't… right.

But that wasn't the primary cause of his concern and confusion. What really bothered him was the fact that it _did_ bother him. Rei, being Lilith, would be joined with Adam, and Third Impact would occur. The barriers of the souls of all humanity would be breached, and they would all join as one… Man would become God. Therefore, it did not matter that Rei was unable to bear children. Soon, Rei as well as every other soul, would be joined as one. So why did it matter?

The elder Ikari turned away from the Room of Gauf, finding himself unable to look upon the soulless… dolls, any longer. He made his way to his office and sat at his desk, steepling his fingers before his face, deep in thought. Was he worried that Third Impact would not occur, or at least not in the way he had planned it, or was it something else?

Gendo picked up a framed picture of his beloved Yui and stared at it. For the first time since the accident occurred that ended her life, in which her soul was absorbed by Unit 01, he was unsure if he could bring himself to do what was necessary. This was… unacceptable. "For you, my dear Yui… I would move heaven and earth. As the final hour draws near… why do I find myself faltering? Give me the strength, my beloved, to do what is necessary. There is no future, so I must stop considering it." He let out a long heavy sigh and set the picture back down on his desk with gentle care. For a moment his gaze turned upwards, fixed upon the unseen heavens, and wondered when the 17th angel would appear, so that all of this could be finished and he could reunite once more with his heart and soul.

* * *

Maya cracked her eyes open and groaned, the light above blinding her in its brilliance. "Where… am I?" She inquired of the light above her. She felt no pain… no injury… yet she knew she had fallen five stories. _I'm… dead. I am at peace and yet… I regret_.

"You're in the infirmary." A cold, yet familiar voice floated from the area beyond the light.

"In… infirmary? I don't… understand." The captain turned her head and realized there was something visible beyond the bright light. Slowly, she raised her hand to shield her eyes from the light, and the NERV infirmary came into view. "I'm… alive?"

"Hai. Your attempt at suicide failed." The voice beyond stated.

Maya sat up sharply, much too fast and nearly blacked out. "What! No! It was an accident!" She looked around and finally her eyes came to rest on Dr. Akagi. "Sempai?"

"Perhaps it was the blue cells in your blood that caused the accident. I'm afraid I'm going to have to declare an epidemic. Shinji's blue cells could be explained by any number of possible causes… but yours? They developed, seemingly out of nowhere. Luckily for us, there're not many people around here anymore, so quarantine won't be too problematic."

The young Ibuki turned her gaze away from the doctor, a blush creeping into her cheeks. A possible cause for the presence of blue cells in her bloodstream came to her mind. She wasn't sure whether it would be better to let the doctor institute a quarantine, or to confess her sinful act. "I… think I may know a possible cause, sempai." She finally admitted in a whisper.

The blonde doctor paused in her note scribbling and turned to look at her young protégé, quirking up an eyebrow inquisitively. "Proceed." She stated in a cautious but curious tone.

Maya bit her lip nervously, still unable to meet her mentor's gaze. "I… was exposed to some of Pilot Ikari's DNA."

"The young Ikari as well? Are you screwing the whole family!" Ritsuko couldn't help but make that outburst.

Captain Ibuki blinked in confusion and turned to look at the doctor. "Nani? What do you mean the whole family?"

Dr. Akagi growled, upset that the younger woman was still trying to deceive her. "I know you're Commander Ikari's new fucktoy."

Maya's mouth dropped open in shock. She couldn't believe the doctor would think she was even capable of such a horrid action, especially considering what she knew about the commander as well as knowing that the relationship between him and her mentor had just ended recently. "How… what… why would you… I don't…" She was completely flustered.

Misinterpreting the reason for the captain's agitation, she let out a sharp "Harumph." And turned away from the younger woman. "And now the young Ikari as well. I never realized you were… a _slut_."

The captain was shocked speechless for several moments then an outburst forced its way out. "I DID NOT SLEEP WITH THE COMMANDER!" She sighed when the doctor turned a skeptical eye her way. "Why would you think I could even be capable of pursuing a relationship with him, especially after how he treated you? And so soon after it ended between the two of you?"

Dr. Akagi frowned thoughtfully. "But your sudden promotion… and he _has_ taken a sudden interest in you…"

"Because I'm spending time with his son." Maya argued.

Another 'harumph' issued from the blonde's lips. "You mean you're having sex with his son. His _under-aged_ son."

Maya couldn't argue that point… not really. "I… it wasn't like that."

Ritsuko quirked up an eyebrow and sat down on one of the medical beds near the young captain. "Do I want to know how it was, then?"

The blush crept back into her cheeks, and she couldn't meet the doctor's gaze.

"I see. I thought it was strange that you entered the men's shower room while the young Ikari was bathing. And that his penis just _happened_ to find its way into your mouth." The blonde observed in a wise tone.

"No! That wasn't…" Maya paused. It occurred to her that she could just say he ejaculated when he inserted his penis into her mouth then… it wouldn't be unbelievable that an inexperienced 15 year old got over-excited with his first sexual encounter. What's more… she was having difficulty remembering if that was how it happened or not. The blue cells in her blood, she reasoned, must be causing some difficulty in memory and/or perception. She shook her head and remained silent for several moments, then felt a change of subject was prudent. "You said I have blue cells in my blood… does that mean I'm developing an S2 organ, like Shinji-kun?"

The doctor sipped some coffee as she looked back over the captain's test results. "I don't believe so. I will have to take a cell scraping of your appendix to be sure, however. But it was not distended as Pilot Ikari's had been. My hypothesis is that it's a temporary reaction to the… fluid you came into contact with."

Maya frowned thoughtfully. "So it survived even stomach acid."

Overhearing the captain's comment to herself, she opened a nearby cabinet and took out a package and tossed it onto the bed next to the younger woman. "Though I don't recommend you continue your relationship with that _boy_, if you must, at least protect yourself."

Maya looked down and blushed a bright red when she saw what the doctor gave her. "Condoms? I won't… I don't need… I wouldn't…"

"Take them." Ritsuko ordered sternly. "I don't care what you do in your private time, but I don't want it interfering with your work here."

The young Ibuki still felt her cheeks burning as she stuffed the box into her carry bag. "Sempai…"

"Unless an angel attacks, take the next few days off. You're of no use to us in an altered state. The blue cells should be all gone within a day. Theoretically." Dr. Akagi ordered.

"…. Hai, sempai." Picking up her things the captain left without another word, still embarrassed as could be.

Ritsuko shook her head after the younger woman left and sighed. "Those damn Ikaris…"

* * *

Asuka stirred slowly, rising up out of a troubled sleep. My life was so much easier… when I could not cry. Her blue eyes cracked open and she stared silently at the first child, slumbering next to her. I wonder… if Rei has ever cried? Is she as lonely as I am?

A few moments later, the red orbs of the first child opened and she regarded the second child curiously. "Are you injured, Soryu?"

The German girl stared at the other girl, confusion playing across her features. "Am I bleeding?"

Rei sat up slowly and casually wiped her eyes clean of sleep. "You are not bleeding." She replied enigmatically.

Asuka felt a drop of water hit her hand and realized she had been crying without realizing it. "Scheiße!" She turned away from the other girl abruptly and wiped the tears away with indignantly stiff arm movements. "Dust in my eyes." She stated the excuse lamely. Without risking a look back at the other girl she changed the subject. "Wanna see what we can scrounge up for breakfast? I think we have some eggs and sausage in the refrigerator."

"I do not eat meat, Soryu." The blue-haired girl reminded the second child in her trademark toneless gentle voice.

"Eggs aren't meat." Asuka argued, standing up and straightening her night shirt. She started walking towards the kitchen, intent on finding something edible. "And call me Asuka! Have you forgotten already?"

Rei joined her several moments later, paying no attention to the wrinkles in her clothing. "Eggs are laid by fowls, Sor… Asuka-chan. They are, in fact, unfertilized embryos. One could consider eggs, therefore, the menses of fowls."

The red-haired girl had been moments away from cracking open several eggs, but froze. She stared at the eggs for well over a minute… and then calmly replaced them in the egg carton and returned them to the refrigerator. "I don't think I will ever be able to eat eggs again… thanks a lot, Rei-chan." The German girl bit out.

"You are welcome, Asuka-chan." Rei replied seriously. "Have you no miso? Or pickles?"

The blue-eyed girl scratched her head and started opening up cabinets. "That white stuff that Shinji's always eating in the morning? I'm not sure where he keeps it… or how to prepare it. Doesn't it taste awful? It looks like it tastes awful."

Rei was silent, feeling it best not to point out that she considered the things that the other girl routinely ate to be disgusting.

The door opened a few moments later and Shinji rushed in, blinking in surprise to see two healthy and calm girls standing in the kitchen. "Ah you're… up." _And neither of you are dead._

"Where's the food, baka? Wonder Girl here doesn't want to eat chicken menstruation." Asuka demanded, peering out from behind an opened cabinet.

Shinji's mouth dropped open in shock and horror.

Asuka glanced at the clock and sighed. "Forget it. You feed Rei-chan whatever she wants. I have to go to…" She paused, not wanting to say therapy, as if it would admit weakness in front of the other pilots. "I have an appointment." She finally stated, grabbing some frozen pastry out of the freezer and popping it into the toaster. A confused look came over her countenance for a moment and she opened up the refrigerator and peered in. "Has anyone seen Pen-Pen lately?"

Shinji blinked in surprise and came behind the refrigerator to peer into it as well, as if he could spot the penguin where his fellow pilot could not. "I don't know, I haven't been around that much lately…"

Asuka's glanced back at the boy for a moment and stared for several long moments then suddenly cried, "BAKA HENTAI!" She smacked the boy upside the head, grabbed the now warmed pastry from the toaster, and ran into her room to get dressed.

Shinji blinked in surprise, unsure if the girl seemingly returning to normal was a good thing or not. "What did I do?" He inquired, expecting no reply from the quiet blue-haired girl waiting patiently for some manner of food.

"Perhaps when a girl is bending over while wearing only a shirt is not the best time to walk up behind her and press yourself against her, Shinji-kun." Rei remarked softly.

The third child scratched his head in confusion. "I did what?"

"At least buy me dinner before molesting me, baka!" Asuka cried playfully as she hurried out, stuffing the pastry into her mouth as she opened the door and left without another word, only risking a quick glance at Rei, who was regarding the girl curiously.

Shinji bit his lip nervously and opened up one of the cabinets near the ground and pulled out some miso and a pot and placed it on the stove to heat. "I think there might be some tofu in the back of the refrigerator." The third child remarked, making his way to the appliance.

Rei nodded and sat down on the floor next to the table to patiently wait for breakfast. The young Ikari glanced at the first child several times as he prepared the meal, though he knew her well enough to know she would most likely remain silent. It wasn't until he was finished cooking did she speak. "Thank you for preparing breakfast, Shinji-kun."

"Ah… no problem." Shinji laughed nervously and sipped some of the soup. "I think Misato-san finished off the pickles."

The red-eyed girl nodded but did not comment.

The third child bit his lip nervously then inquired, "So how did you and Asuka-chan get along?"

Rei contemplated that for well over a minute before answering, "As I expected."

The smile dropped from the blue-eyed boy's lips and he looked crestfallen. "Oh."

"It was… pleasant." Rei elaborated, cryptically.

Confusion passed over Shinji's features. "You… expected it to be pleasant?"

"She did not slap me this time." Rei offered as an explanation.

Shinji blinked in surprise. "This time? She's slapped you?"

"Not this time, no." The first child responded enigmatically.

The third child frowned in thought. "Oh… you mean not since the sync test all those months ago, when we fought the 7th angel?"

Rei regarded the boy across from her thoughtfully for a few moments then stated, "Last time she slapped me. This time, she did not."

The young Ikari shook his head. "I don't understand."

Confusion touched Rei's eyes for a few moments, and then she calmly finished her soup. "Neither do I."

Shinji waited for several minutes for the blue-haired girl to elaborate, but she never did. "Rei-chan…" He paused for a moment, realizing he had been using chan the whole morning, even with Asuka, and neither seemed to mind. He considered correcting himself, but decided against it. If they did not mind, why should he? "Do you remember the promise you made me last year?"

Ayanami turned her red eyes onto the other pilot and stared at him, as if into his very soul, for over a minute. She searched her memories for a promise, and then spoke. "Hai. I promised to protect you."

The boy looked thoughtful for a few moments then inquired, "Are you protecting me now?"

Rei tilted her head slightly to the side, regarding her fellow pilot silently. Finally she responded. "Always."

Ikari wasn't sure why he asked her that, or how it even occurred to him… but the question that Kaoru asked him that morning was bugging him. "I… did save you, didn't I?"

If she was surprised by his question, the first child did not betray it. After some consideration, she responded honestly. "Yes, you saved me this time."

Shinji felt melancholy settle over his heart, though he wasn't sure why. Everything lately seemed to be so confusing. "This time?" It was the second time the girl had responded in that manner this morning.

"Hai." Ayanami replied.

"I don't understand." The dark-haired boy stated honestly.

Rei shook her head once. "Neither do I."

_My head hurts._ Ikari grumbled internally. A change of subject was in order. "How is your hand this morning?"

The first child looked down at her hand curiously and flexed it a few times. "It has healed."

They fell into a comfortable silence for a while, and then Shinji looked up at the red-eyed girl. "Rei-chan… why am I developing an S2 organ? Do… you know?"

The first child considered that for a while then answered, "I am not certain. However, there is someone that would know."

Ikari's eyes snapped up to meet Ayanami's. A feeling of dread crept up from the pit of his stomach. "You mean… my father?"

Rei paused thoughtfully, and then responded. "Hai."

Shinji was about to ask her about Kaoru when Misato walked in. "I'm home!" The purple-haired beauty called.

"Welcome home." Shinji called out politely.

Major Katsuragi walked in and opened the refrigerator and frowned at seeing no beer. _Damn that's right… the store didn't have any._ She looked over her shoulder and found Rei regarding her curiously. "Oh… good morning, Ayanami-chan."

"Good morning, Katsuragi-shousa." The first child responded politely.

"I'm off duty. Call me Misato." The major told her, sitting down next to Shinji. "Any miso left?"

Shinji stood up and poured some into a bowl for his guardian before sitting back down. "Hai, Misato-san. Here you go."

Misato sipped the soup and raised an eyebrow at the blue-haired girl, curious why she was still regarding her with such an inquisitive expression on her face. "Rei-chan? Something on my face?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary, Misato-shousa." The red-eyed girl responded evenly.

Shinji blinked and looked between the two women, wondering as well what was going on.

Misato blinked.

Shinji blinked again.

Misato sipped her soup.

Shinji blinked.

"Did I interrupt something?" Misato inquired finally.

"No, of course not!" Shinji cried the moment he saw Rei open her mouth, knowing her well enough to know she was going to say yes. "You seem to be in a good mood this morning, Misato-san."

The major blinked and looked at the third child for a moment then shrugged. "I went over to Ritsu-chan's last night, to give the girls some privacy. We had a good time." _A _real_ good time._

Rei continued to stare at Misato.

Misato blinked.

Shinji blinked.

Misato sipped her soup.

Rei stared.

"Misato-san… where's Pen-Pen? Asuka mentioned she hadn't seen him in a while." Shinji inquired, hoping to break the strange tension in the room.

The major blushed, realizing she had forgotten to mention the reason for the penguin's absence to the children. "I felt it was no longer safe for him around here, because of what happened during the last angel's attack. I sent him to stay with the Horakis."

"Oh, with Asuka's friend? I didn't realize…" Shinji looked down at his hands that were resting on his lap, feeling sad he hadn't seen the penguin off.

"We've all had a lot to deal with lately." Misato stated, looking worried for a few moments before her normal cheery smile returned. "Well I'll let you two lovebirds get back to what you were doing before I so rudely interrupted." She got up and gave the young Ikari a 'thumbs up' gesture. "Have fun."

Shinji blushed and continued staring at his hands. "I swear she thinks I'm sleeping with every girl I know."

Rei regarded the boy silently, and did not comment.

Shinji looked up at the blue-haired beauty for a few moments and tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to him, his earlier question about the 5th child forgotten.

Rei, also, remained silent.

* * *

Dr. Kagame regarded Asuka silently for several long moments, noting the turmoil in the girl's features. "How have you been feeling since our last meeting, Asuka?"

The red-haired girl chewed on her lip thoughtfully and leaned back in her chair. "Up and down." She finally responded.

The therapist waited a few moments for the girl to elaborate, but when she did not, he asked another question. "How have your interactions with the young Ikari been?"

The second child twirled a bit of hair around her finger, tilting her head a little to the side as she considered that. "We… I suppose things have gone well, Herr Doktor. I cried on his shoulder… and he actually comforted me instead of taking the opportunity to feel me up. We talked about things… I think we're in a good place."

"Good as in romantic?" Dr. Kagame inquired.

"Nein. Good as in… friendly. I have placed my trust in him. I do not think he will… prove unworthy of it." The German girl admitted, turning her gaze towards the window.

The therapist noticed her turmoil, and reasoned that since she spoke of Shinji so easily, he was not the cause of it. "You seem… distracted. Is there anything you'd care to share?"

"I think I might be gay." Asuka blurted.

Dr. Kagame blinked. "Pardon me?"

"I think I might be gay." The red-haired girl repeated a little more slowly.

The man was quiet for several moments as he looked back over his notes. "The last time that subject came up, you seemed… adamantly opposed to the notion."

"That is true." The blue-eyed girl admitted.

"But now you think you are homosexual?" He inquired, quirking an eyebrow up slightly.

Asuka took a deep breath to calm the fires of her outrage down. Normally she would blow up at someone by now… but she did not want to do that. "I kissed another girl." She offered as an explanation.

"So you kissed another girl… and this makes you gay?" Dr. Kagame inquired.

"Several times." The pilot added.

The therapist noted that down and ordered his thoughts. "So you kissed another girl several times… and so you are gay."

"I liked kissing her. A lot. When I kissed Shinji, all I could really think was that his breath was tickling me. When I kissed Rei…" The German girl was interrupted.

"Rei? Ayanami Rei? You _kissed_ Ayanami Rei?" Dr. Kagame stated in disbelief.

Annoyance flashed through the girl's blue eyes, both because of the man's skeptical attitude, and because he rudely interrupted her. "Yes. When I kissed Rei…"

"I'm sorry for interrupting you… again… but we're talking about the same Ayanami Rei that you have repeatedly referred to as Wonder Girl, a doll, expressed extreme hatred and vehemence for… the one you feel stole Shinji from you?" The doctor looked over his glasses at the girl, still trying to piece this revelation together.

"Yes." Asuka nodded, not refuting what the man said because it had been true.

Dr. Kagame blinked and stared at his young patient for several long moments, then finally spoke, "I apologize again for my disruption. Please continue. When you kissed Ayanami…"

"Ja… when I kissed Rei, I felt… happy. I didn't even notice her breath tickling me. I'm sure she must have been breathing… we kissed for a long time. But I didn't notice it. It was like I was lost in her soft lips." The pilot explained, gazing up at the ceiling as if looking there aided her memory.

The therapist frowned in thought, noting that down. "How do you feel about that?"

Asuka contemplated that, and then simply replied, "Sad."

The doctor raised an eyebrow up, genuinely surprised by that response. "Why does that make you feel sad?"

"Rei and Shinji are practically in love." The pilot explained. "Rei did not let me kiss her because she wanted to kiss me, she did it because she was curious about kissing. She wants Shinji to kiss her. She only tolerates my kisses. She doesn't know enough about relationships to know that she shouldn't be kissing me."

"Do you feel guilty then, for taking advantage of her naiveté?" Dr. Kagame asked.

The red-haired girl thought about that for a few moments, then answered honestly. "No."

"Because it's your revenge on her, or perhaps Shinji, for having a relationship with each other, and excluding you?" The man queried.

"It's not like that." Asuka denied the accusation.

"Explain it to me then." The doctor requested.

The pilot sighed and turned her chair so she could rest her feet up on the nearby couch, using the pause to order her thoughts. "I don't plan on causing any conflicts between Shinji and Rei. I wouldn't kiss Rei if I felt she didn't want it. Maybe she doesn't want it in the same way I do… but I think she's as lonely as I am. What does it hurt for us to give each other a little affection, then?"

"To return to an earlier question then, you feel this makes you gay?" Dr. Kagame asked.

Asuka turned her head to regard the therapist curiously, confused as to why he was still skeptical. "Why shouldn't it?" She countered.

The doctor sighed and took a few moments to determine the best way to phrase the explanation. "Are you attracted to any other women?"

The blue-eyed pilot thought about that for a few moments then shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't really thought about it."

"But you have expressed attraction to Shinji. And Kaji. Both men." Dr. Kagame observed.

The red haired girl leaned her head back to let her hair spill downwards towards the floor and tilted her seat back a little again, using the coach to balance herself. "That is true."

"Do you want to have sex with Ayanami?" The therapist inquired.

Asuka was silent for several moments, considering that. "I don't know. Maybe. It's too early to determine that."

"Is it, perhaps, the affection you crave, and the fact that she's female has little to do with it?" Dr. Kagame asked.

"Of course I want affection. But I think she's attractive too. No, not just attractive… she's beautiful. I mean… really. Have you seen her? Mein Gott…" The pilot smiled, thinking about the other girl's features.

The doctor made some notes then continued, "Perhaps you are bisexual. Or even gay. But I find this sudden change questionable. Is it possible that you seek affection from Rei because of her connection to Shinji? He cares for her… so if she cared for you, it could be said that by extension, you had a connection to Shinji as well?"

Asuka turned her head to give the doctor a quizzical look. "That makes no sense, Herr Doktor."

Dr. Kagame nodded. "Perhaps. But let me ask you the important question, then. Is it possible that the primary reason you feel attracted to Ayanami that you feel there is no future between you, because of her relationship with Ikari? That it is safe to seek her out because you feel you will never get her?"

The pilot frowned, confused by that logic. "Why would I seek someone out only because I didn't think I could catch them? Isn't that just… futile?"

"As long as you pursue a relationship, you don't have to deal with the realities of it. You don't have to deal with the faults of the object of your affection. You don't have to worry about whether they will break your heart. You don't have to open up to them. You're free to lust and long, without the consequences of trust and the fear of loss." Dr. Kagame explained.

Asuka laughed. She actually laughed. "You don't know me at all, Herr Doktor. Nothing is impossible for me, as long as I will it to be so. If I seek something, I do so because I feel it is attainable. If there is no hope, then what do I have? Maybe I will never have a romance with Rei. But I think it's possible. Maybe I will never have a romance with Shinji. But I think it's possible. Why _wouldn't_ someone want to be with me? _Look_ at me!"

The doctor was taken back by her confidence. Thus far, he had only seen her at her worst, having no confidence, a shattered mind. He had never seen her when she was 'normal'. It baffled him. "Well… perhaps that is so. Um… perhaps a change of subject is in order. I wanted to talk more about your mother…"

"Time is up, Herr Doktor. Until next time, auf Wiedersehen!" Asuka stood up abruptly, gave the doctor a friendly wave, and left without waiting for a reply.

Dr. Kagame stared at the now closed door in shock, and began to wonder if the girl was suffering from multiple personalities.

* * *

And here you go folks… finally, a new chapter for your greedy eyes. Yay! There's a bit of foreshadowing in this chapter… you may have noticed. In the next chapter, unless I suddenly change my mind, you can look forward to Shinji talking to his dear old father, Maya deciding to get Rei to spend another day with her, and um… Kaoru will probably do something interesting. Ooo, he suggested he get to have a chat with Asuka. Why not? Until next time (which will hopefully be within a day or two), auf Wiedersehen! 


	19. Goodbye Blue Sky

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Here's a new chapter for your viewing pleasure. The flashback scene right at the beginning should be somewhat familiar to you all… think of the elevator scene near the end of the series. "She didn't slap me this time." Rei said, eh? She doesn't understand why she said that, but we all do, right? Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 19: Goodbye Blue Sky

After leaving the psychotherapist's office, Asuka took a walk to clear her mind and order her thoughts. During the time that she had spent with Rei, the first child had told her something quite out of the blue.

"_If you don't open your mind to her, you and your Eva will be in conflict." Rei said in a mysterious tone._

_The change of subject had taken the second child by surprise. "Are you saying I'm causing my own problems! That I'm shutting myself out!"_

"_Yes. Because your Eva has her own mind." The blue-haired girl responded._

"_It's just a big toy." Asuka huffed in annoyance._

"_You are aware of it, aren't you?" Rei inquired, not even looking at the other pilot as they walked towards one of the few remaining stores that were open to purchase food._

_The German girl scowled in annoyance. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Your Eva's mind._ _And soul. You have felt it." The first child affirmed._

_Asuka's_ _face turned as red as her hair as fury burned its way through her, and her hands became clenched fist. "I have felt nothing. My Eva is nothing but a big toy, and it does what I tell it to! If _your _Eva seems to have a mind of its own, then it must be your own fucked up mind!"_

_The red-eyed girl turned just enough to fix her gaze on her fellow pilot. "Is that what you believe… about your own Eva?"_

_The German girl's eyes widened in outrage._ _A few tense moments passed, and then she let out a long, heavy breath. "Let's just get some food. We'll get all my favorites to make up for you upsetting me." The girl proclaimed in a tone that suggested she was letting the other pilot off easy. Rei, of course, remained silent._

Asuka frowned at the memory, wondering why the girl's words bothered her so much. And why she had even said them. Was she actually… concerned? The strangest part had been the girl's reaction afterwards. Though it was hard to tell by the first child's quiet demeanor, she had seemed almost… happy. As if she had expected the talk to go badly. "I suppose I have been rather violent lately…" The girl muttered in annoyance.

She looked up and was only mildly surprised to realize she had entered NERV headquarters and walked all the way to where her Eva was stored. She leaned her elbows onto the railing and stared up at the giant mecha. "Your own mind? Is that why I sense… no. Rei doesn't know what she's talking about. You're nothing but a big toy." She was less confident in that statement now than she was the previous day, however.

"Do you always converse with your toys in such a manner, Ms. Soryu?" A gentle male voice inquired off to her left.

Asuka straightened up immediately and spun to face the person that was speaking to her. "Wha?" Her eyes narrowed when she saw who it was. "Nagisa." She spat out the name as if it were venom.

"Please, call me Kaoru, Ms. Soryu. My friends use my personal name." The boy requested with a gentle smile.

"What are you doing here, _Nagisa_?" Asuka demanded.

The fifth child shook his head a little sadly. "Such aggression. What have I done to deserve your ire?"

The second child pointed at Unit 02. "That is _my_ Eva. **_Mine_**! You are unnecessary and an insult to my abilities as a pilot."

The silver-haired boy shrugged, casually placing his hands into his pockets and turned to look at the giant red mecha. "Unit 02 is her own. Regardless, I have heard of your difficulties as of late. It may not be a bad idea to rest. You have fought long and hard, you have no further need to prove yourself to anyone."

Asuka hissed in annoyance, only briefly wondering if she could get away with tossing the other pilot into the pit below them. "I don't have to explain my reasons to you. I am proud to be an Eva pilot, and I have no need to rest."

Kaoru quirked an eyebrow up a bit and casually leaned back against the railing overlooking Unit 02. "Fascinating. I did not expect _your_ situation to be so different this time…"

Asuka blinked. "What are you talking about, Nagisa?"

"Are you lonely, Ms. Soryu?" The boy inquired, changing the subject.

The German girl huffed, crossed her arms, and looked away from the silver-haired boy, leaning back against the railing as well. "What business is that of yours?"

"It is the fundamental nature of humanity to be alone. It's saddening." Kaoru elaborated.

"I have friends." Asuka argued, finding the other pilot's words to be perplexing. _Why is he so strange?_

The fifth child nodded. "And yet, you still have the ache in your heart. That ache is loneliness. There is so much joy that humankind is capable of… you yourself could seek out so much. But fear holds you back. Loneliness is pain… but it is a comfortable pain. A familiar one. To reach out for joy is to step away from that comfort. Why is that, Ms. Soryu? Why do the lillium deny their own desires for joy, and wallow in their comfortable loneliness and pain?"

The red-haired girl stared at the boy. Finally, after several minutes of silence, she responded. "And they say _I'm_ crazy." She let out a 'hmph', spun on her heel, and walked away.

Kaoru laughed softly and looked up at Unit 02. "She is her mother's daughter." He turned to go the opposite direction as the other pilot and hummed softly to himself. "Thank you, Shinji-kun. I'm glad I had the chance to talk to Ms. Soryu this time."

* * *

Maya walked up to the door to Misato's apartment, still debating what she was going to say to the boy. Everything she thought of to say about the blue cells that ended up in her blood on account of the sex act she did with the young Ikari made it sound like she wanted to do so again but with the correct protective measures. What was worse, she knew that when she denied wanting any further sexual misconduct with the boy, it would sound too harsh and crush him. So, she felt it best not to say anything about the matter at all. _Then why am I about to knock on his door?_ She wondered. 

A fraction of a second before her knuckles came into contact with the door, it opened. Not reacting in time, she ended up knocking on the young Ikari's forehead. "Ow!" Shinji cried, backing away and rubbing his sore head.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Shinji-kun! I was about to knock." Maya blushed in embarrassment.

The third child blinked and looked at the pretty captain, a blush creeping into his cheeks as well. "Ah… are you here to see Misato-san?" He asked, glancing back towards the major's room.

Captain Ibuki shook her head. "Not exactly. I came to see… uh… were you going out?" _Oh good, if he goes out, I don't have to deal with this conversation right now._

Shinji nodded. "Hai… I needed to speak to my fa… ah… the commander."

Maya nodded. "I see."

Shinji waited patiently, thinking the captain was about to ask him something. He glanced back at Rei, a pang of guilt running through him and he hoped the older girl wouldn't say something that might jeopardize his burgeoning relationship with the first child, assuming he really did have a burgeoning relationship with her.

Captain Ibuki coughed nervously and couldn't think of anything to say.

"Ah… I should head into NERV then." The young Ikari stated, hoping the captain would get the hint and step out of the way… and not say anything about their strange encounter.

"Oh! Yes, of course." Maya blushed, realizing she was still standing in the doorway. "Gomen, Shinji-kun." She stepped out of the way and bit her lip nervously. She had to say something… then she spotted the young Ayanami behind the third child. "Oh, Ayanami! Are you going to NERV also?"

"I am returning home." Rei replied calmly.

Realizing she needed a valid reason to justify her presence in the Ikari home, she immediately came up with a brilliant idea. "I was hoping to run into you, Ayanami. We haven't had a day out together in quite some time. I figured you might enjoy it, being cooped up in your home all this time recovering."

Shinji froze as he was heading down the hall and turned to regard the two girls. "You are friends with Ayanami?" He asked the captain in surprise.

Maya grinned sheepishly, ignoring the skeptical look that Rei gave her. "Well we had a girls' night out a few months ago and we never really had a chance to do it again." It wasn't really true. There were lots of days where she was lonely and Rei was home alone and she could have decided to go out with her again. But she wasn't going to say that.

"Are you ordering me to accompany you today, Ibuki-chuii?" The red-eyed girl inquired in her normal soft voice.

The captain blushed and laughed nervously. "That's just something she says… it's our thing. Ah, and it's captain now, Ayanami. And you can call me Maya." A little softer so that only the first child could hear her, she added, "And yes, it's an order."

"Then I shall accompany you, Ibuki-taii." Rei responded evenly.

"Maya." The young Ibuki corrected automatically. "Well, goodbye now, Shinji-kun." She smiled at the boy pleasantly, still feeling embarrassed.

Shinji blinked several times, still baffled about what was going on, and then bowed and left.

Maya let out a long breath and smiled at the red-eyed girl. "So, what do you want to do today, Rei-chan?"

"I wish to return home." Rei deadpanned.

Captain Ibuki sighed. "Other than that."

The first child blinked and was silent, considering it. Finally, as they reached the outside, she suggested, "Perhaps we could do some grocery shopping."

Maya rolled her eyes. "You really don't get the whole 'fun' thing, do you?" She inquired. After receiving a blank stare from the blue-haired girl, she decided to take matters into her own hands. "How about a movie, like last time? Another love story, perhaps?"

Ayanami considered that then nodded once. "Perhaps."

They did in fact end up seeing a love story, a sad one at that. Afterwards, when they were leaving the theater and heading towards a restaurant to have lunch, Maya looked at the younger girl and noticed she looked a little perplexed. A subtle change, but she felt happy to be able to notice it now. "Rei-chan? You look confused."

The first child looked up at the captain and nodded once. "I do not understand why Sato-san was so angry with Hoshiko-san."

The captain thought about that for a few moments then replied, "Sato-san? Oh, Ayame? She was jealous because her betrothed fell in love with Hoshiko. She had an arranged marriage with Yoshikawa, but this other woman threatened that, because he fell in love with her."

Rei turned her red eyes to the captain, still not comprehending the problem. "I do not understand."

Maya blinked. "What, arranged marriage?"

"Jealousy." The first child replied.

_Oh boy…_ Ibuki groaned inwardly, wondering how she was to explain that. "It's um… when you're afraid to lose someone you care about because they care about someone else."

"I do not understand. Love is freely given and freely accepted, it is not a possession to be coveted." Rei argued.

The captain didn't really understand what the pilot meant by that. "Well, it goes beyond love. There is also security and affection that go along with love. If Yoshikawa no longer loves Ayame, the security and affection that accompany that love are gone as well. She would be left with nothing."

"Yoshikawa loved both women. Ayame had nothing to fear. There was no cause for jealousy." The red-eyed girl explained, in a tone that suggested she was trying to educate an ignorant child.

Maya sighed. "I think you'll understand when you are older, and are in love."

Rei blinked. "So to be in love is to be jealous and possessive?"

The captain pointed to a restaurant. Given that there were only two restaurants still open, it wasn't like it was much of a choice, but Rei nodded anyway. "Not ideally, no. But the reality is, when you love someone, you want to hang onto that love. Jealousy and possessiveness tend to result from it."

After they were seated, they looked at their menus. "I do not believe it is always the case, Ibu.. Maya-san. If you love someone, and they love you, what does it matter if they love another as well?" The first child glanced at the captain over the menu for a moment as she pointed that out.

"Because it's… I don't know. I'm no one to talk. It's not like I've ever really been in love." Maya couldn't keep all of the bitterness out of her tone when she admitted that.

The captain was about to continue when a realization suddenly dawned on her. "Oh my…" She bit her tongue to keep from asking the girl if she was in love with Shinji. In fact, she nearly drew blood. _If she's in love with Shinji… does she know what I did with him? Is that why she's saying this!_ She peered over her menu to look at the first child.

Rei met her gaze, but made no comment.

_Oh shit._ "Ah… the oyakodon (Mother and Child Domburi, it's most commonly chicken and egg though rarely it's sometimes salmon and salmon eggs) sounds good." Maya stated, trying to change the subject, as well as trying not to sweat.

The first child glanced down at the menu. "So, you would devour the flesh of both the mother _and_ the child?"

The captain laughed nervously. "When you put it that way… uh… what are you getting?"

The blue-haired girl looked back over the menu. "Miso soup with wakame (a kind of seaweed), and rice with sea vegetables."

Maya frowned slightly in thought, and then remembered what the girl said a few moments before. "Are you a vegetarian?" She asked in surprise.

"Hai." Rei responded with a nod.

The young captain's brow furrowed a bit as she considered that. "Do you eat _any_ meat? Fish? Eggs? Milk?"

"One does not have to devour the flesh of the living to enjoy a good meal, Maya-san." The first child responded evenly.

Maya blushed slightly and shrugged. "Perhaps. But it sure is tasty."

Rei was silent in thought as she sipped some water and considered the menu. "There are times that I eat noodles that are likely egg-based. I prefer to think they are grain-based, but in this day and age, you can never be sure. But when possible, I eat nothing that a living creature died or suffered for."

The captain felt embarrassed, because she _really_ wanted that oyakodon. "Does it offend you if others eat meat?"

"I am responsible for no one's sin but my own. Order the oyakodon if that is what you desire, Maya-san." The blue-haired girl replied.

For the second time that day, Maya had the feeling that Rei was talking about more than just the obvious. She looked up at the pilot and tried to think of a comment to make, but none came to her. A moment later, a waitress came by to take their orders.

"Ah… so did you ever get a computer? Or a game station?" Ibuki finally inquired to break the silence.

Rei stared at the other woman silently for several long moments before responding. "I have not."

"I think we should remedy that, Rei-chan." Maya smiled as she stated that.

"If that is your desire." Ayanami replied.

So on the way to the first child's apartment, they stopped at a gaming store and they ended up purchasing a Playstation 4 as well as Final Fantasy 16. (hehe) "I think you'll like this game. I play it for _hours_." Maya informed the young pilot with a smile.

"Perhaps." Rei replied evenly.

When they reached the young Ayanami's house, however, the smile dropped from the captain's lips. "You don't have a TV?" She asked in a shocked tone.

"I do not." Ayanami responded in the same even tone as before.

Maya blinked several times. She couldn't conceive how a girl could live with neither a television set _nor_ a computer. "What do you _do_ all day?" She still couldn't wrap her mind around this revelation.

Rei sat down on her bed calmly. "I sleep. I read. I play my violin."

The captain shook her head in disbelief. "That's it?"

The first child contemplated that, and then replied, "Sometimes I go for a swim."

The computer geek groaned and slapped her forehead. "That decides it then. I'm going to have to start spending some more time with you."

The blue-haired girl raised an eyebrow up slightly, but made no response.

Maya waited patiently for some sort of reply, but then realized what the girl was waiting for. "Yes, that is an order." _Why must it be an order? Why can't you just enjoy the time you spend with me? Or do you, but you don't want to admit it?_

Rei nodded once. "Hai."

The young Ibuki nodded as well and started heading towards the door, taking a moment to put her shoes back on. "Next time we'll get you a television set, so don't throw that game system away."

The first child nodded again. "Hai."

The captain bowed. "Ok. Good-bye, Rei-chan. I'll be seeing you soon."

"Hai, Maya-san. Thank you for spending time with me today." Rei replied politely.

Maya gave the girl a radiant smile then left. She shook her head and muttered to herself, "Perhaps there is hope for you yet, Rei-chan."

* * *

Shinji made his way through NERV headquarters, deep in thought. The idea that his father might know why he had developed an S2 organ terrified him in a way, but he wasn't sure why. The best he could come up with was that there was some prophecy in the Dead Sea scrolls, along with the information used to predict the coming of the angels. That, however, was not a comforting thought. He barely glanced up in time to avoid running straight into Dr. Akagi. "Oh… good morning, Akagi-dono." The third child greeted politely. 

The doctor raised an eyebrow curiously. "Good morning, _Ikari_. Did you have a sync test today?"

"Hai, but not until later this afternoon. I came to speak to the comm…. ah, my father." The boy replied, feeling anxious about the meeting.

Ritsuko scowled at the mention of the commander. "I see. I won't keep you then. Oh and Shinji-kun? You might want to keep your fluids to yourself. It seems your blue S2 cells are contagious."

Shinji froze, stunned. "My… fluids?"

Dr. Akagi nodded. "You know… blood… _semen_." She paused to let the latter example sink in and smirked when the boy paled. "Stop by later, I'll need to take a saliva and sweat sample, to make sure they won't cause any problems for anyone. I doubt it, but just to be safe, ne?"

"But what if I… eh… I mean if it happens, which it probably won't… ever… but if I ever… ah…" The blue-eyed boy wanted to faint. The whole time he was chanting in his head, _I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away…_

Understanding what the boy was attempting to ask her, she sighed. "Condoms should be safe, as long as you use them correctly."

The young pilot blinked. "Should be?" He asked in a meek voice.

"Theoretically." Ritsuko affirmed. "See you later, then." Without waiting for a reply, the doctor left to get some lunch.

Shinji stood there for several minutes, agonizing over what he might have done to poor Maya. _She didn't seem sick… but maybe she was treated. Why didn't she say anything? Oh… Rei-chan… that's why she was coming to see me, but she didn't want to say anything in front of her… thank the gods… But she's spending the day with Rei-chan… what if she mentions something? Rei-chan is going to kill me! I didn't mean it! I'll grovel at her feet for an eternity! And what about poor Maya-san! I'm so fucked up._ He leaned back against the wall of the hallway and rubbed his temples, desperately trying to calm down. Finally he took a deep steadying breath, realizing he still needed to talk to his father. _I mustn't run away… I mustn't run away… I want to run away!_

The boy sighed, and then resumed walking towards his father's office. He felt like he'd rather fight a hundred angels than come here, but he didn't have a choice. If he wanted answers, it was necessary. _Answers are important… aren't they? Maybe I don't need to know…_ The third child looked up and realized he was standing in front of his father's office. And so he stared at the door. After what seemed an eternity, he finally raised his fist and knocked on the door.

"Enter, Ikari." The commander's voice came from a small speaker on the wall.

Shinji paled, realizing there must be a surveillance camera out here, likely for the commander's safety. _How long have I been standing out here?_ Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, he entered. He walked forward through the large office, staring at the ground the entire time. It was the longest walk ever, or so it seemed to him. Once he stood before his father's desk, he stared at his feet.

Commander Ikari watched his son silently, waiting for the boy to speak up about what he wanted. Normally he would prod him, but this time he wanted the boy to summon up the courage on his own. And so he waited, with a patience that would likely be legendary.

After what seemed an eternity, Shinji raised his eyes up a bit, to confirm that his father really was there. Immediately his eyes returned to the ground.

Gendo waited, still patiently, his hands folded in front of his mouth. Luckily, he wasn't working on anything urgent, because it seemed it would take all day for the boy to speak up.

Shinji coughed nervously.

Commander Ikari waited, still silent, still patient.

Shinji shifted the weight on his feet, fixing his eyes on a single point on the ground. His mind was completely blank.

Still, Gendo waited patiently.

Finally, 47 minutes and 19 seconds later, Shinji raised his eyes up to meet his father's. Or, more accurately, his father's hands. "Father."

"Ikari." Gendo replied.

Shinji coughed softly, returning his gaze to the floor.

The commander waited patiently, once again.

Only 4 minutes and 33 seconds later this time, the third child raised his gaze back up, this time to his father's eyes. He could see the reflection of the Sephirotic Tree in his father's tinted glasses. He focused on that reflection, rather than the cold, piercing gaze of the commander. "I seem to have developed an S2 organ."

If Gendo was surprised, he didn't show it. Actually, he didn't respond at all.

Shinji coughed, looked back at his feet for several more minutes, and then raised his gaze back up again. "Ayanami suggested I ask you about it."

Commander Ikari remained silent.

Shinji blinked, looked back down to his feet, and fixed his gaze there. 12 minutes and 9 seconds later, he realized his father was waiting for him to actually ask the question. "Do you know why I have an S2 organ, father?"

"Yes." Gendo replied immediately. But he volunteered no further information.

The third child raised his gaze back up to his father's. "Why have I developed an S2 organ, father?" His stomach was tied in knots, and he honestly felt like he was going to pass out. This was the most nerve-wracking conversation he had ever had, and the commander wasn't exactly making it any easier.

Rather than answer the question right away, however, the commander asked him a question. "What do you know about Super Solenoid organs?"

Shinji's eyes narrowed in confusion, and then stared at his feet. "They are energy-producing organs found in angels, similar to mitochondria found in human cells, but on a much larger scale. The energy produced by S2 organs is picked up in what we term blue light patterns."

Commander Ikari was silent for several moments. _Obviously he _has _been paying attention._ the commander thought, feeling a bit of pride in his son. "What else?" He inquired.

The younger Ikari considered what his father was hinting at, and then remembered their last conversation. "Ayanami has an S2 organ as well, because you cloned her, including some angel DNA."

"Correct." Gendo replied.

Not seeing the relevance of that information, Shinji met his father's gaze again. "But why am _I_ developing an S2 organ? Is it because of my Eva unit incorporating that angel's S2 organ into itself? Or when that last angel was corrupting Rei-chan and I? Or did it occur when my body was in a discorporate state inside my Eva unit?"

The commander was silent for a long moment before he replied. "You are not developing an S2 organ. You are activating your S2 organ."

A cold grip of fear wormed its way through Shinji's guts as he contemplated that, though it still didn't really make sense. "I… I don't understand."

"You have _always_ had an S2 organ, Ikari." Gendo explained, a touch of compassion actually coming into his voice, surprisingly enough.

All the blood drained out of the third child's face. _What… what could that mean!_ "W… why!" It was all he could manage to get out.

Commander Ikari took a breath, and then inquired, "Why does Ayanami have an S2 organ?"

"Be… because she was killed. And you cloned her. When I asked you about it, you wouldn't tell me why you included angel DNA in her makeup… just that it gave her an S2 organ." The young pilot managed to choke out.

"One can clone the human body, but the clone would have a unique soul, if it even has a soul at all. Only a body cloned from an angel can host a soul that is artificially introduced. Rei's soul would have been lost had we not used Lilith's DNA in the process." Gendo explained.

Panic gripped Shinji's heart. He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was leading, but he needed to hear it before he believed it, if he could even believe it then. "But what does this have to do with **_me_**!" The boy cried in a shrill voice.

Gendo was silent.

The third child met his father's gaze. Summoning up every scrap of courage in his soul, he demanded, "Tell me."

The commander remained silent for nearly a minute. Then he spoke the words that changed Shinji's life forever. "You died, Shinji. Just as Rei was cloned, with Lilith's DNA to be able to house her soul, you were cloned from Adam to be able to house _your_ soul. That is why you have an S2 organ. You have _always_ had it. It was simply inactive, until recently."

The younger Ikari stared at the older in shock and horror for several minutes, then he turned his gaze away, his hands clenching into fists. "**_You're lying!_**" He cried finally. It was a joke… a horrible cruel joke, because his father was a heartless bastard that didn't give half a shit about him. It had to be.

"I am not lying to you, Shinji." Gendo stated firmly.

Tears fell unchecked from the boy's eyes. He felt no shame in them, he was beyond shame. Beyond fear. Beyond… anything. He was shocked numb. Finally, he composed himself enough to whisper one last question. "Does… Rei-chan know?"

The commander was silent for a long, tense pause, and then he responded. "I do not know. She suspected it, I imagine, since she directed you to me."

Shinji took a long, deep breath, and then turned around to leave. Had he been thinking straight at the time, he likely would have thought to ask when and how he died, but he couldn't think. He didn't even know how to begin to process what his father told him. So he simply left.

Gendo fell deep into thought after his son left. On one hand, he was proud of his son, that he had shown enough courage to ask him about all this. On the other, he felt sympathy for the boy in what he was going through, but he would never show it outwardly. And it was also not lost on him that his son had referred to Rei in such an endearing tone. He wasn't sure how to feel about that anymore, so he decided to worry about it later. Much later. Preferably after Third Impact, when it would no longer matter.

* * *

Another chapter so soon! Yay! I appreciate all the reviews encouraging me with the last chapter, and I hope they continue with this one. Lots of interesting things going on, hopefully not just in my estimation. In the next chapter, you can look forward to Shinji and Rei having a heart to heart conversation. This IS a Shinji-Rei romance story, so they have to talk some, right! Kaoru wanted the chapter off because Pen-Pen challenged him to some video game or other, or at least that's what he told me, but I told him it was too bad because the children have sync tests to do! He can't just run off and play when he has to work! Asuka will of course be around as well, because lots of important things are going on with her too. Some other interesting things will likely happen… we'll see. Arrivederci! 


	20. Odi et Amo: I Hate and I Love

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: I told you I was evil. Muahahah! Oh, and a note about the chapter title, it comes from a Catullus poem (latin poet). The poem is:

_Odi_ _et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris?_

_Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior._

It translates as: I hate and I love. Why do I do it, perchance you might ask?

I don't know, but I feel it happening to me and I'm burning up.

As an added note: it seems strange that Rei had to do sync testing since at this point her Eva was destroyed but… she had to do it in the show too, so who am I to argue with Anno-san?

Grr… and it seems doesn't like exclamation-question mark combinations, or percent signs. And it's stopped liking the greater-than less-than signs I normally use with thoughts. What a hassle.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 20: Odi et Amo: I Hate and I Love

Shinji was underneath one of the rarely used metal staircases in NERV, shivering and crying. In his mind, he kept hearing his father's words over and over again. "You died, Shinji. You were cloned from Adam… You died, Shinji… You died, Shinji… You died. You were cloned. You died. You **_DIED_**."

"NOO!" The third child screamed, covering his ears in a futile attempt to block out the voice in his head. He shook his head violently, but it didn't help. "How… how can I be… no wonder I'm so fucked up." Shinji sobbed, pulling his knees up under his chin and burying his face into his crossed arms. He felt unnaturally cold, and he wasn't sure why.

After what seemed an eternity later, he felt a cool gentle touch on his shoulder. "Shinji-kun?" A gentle voice inquired.

"**DON'T TOUCH ME!**" The blue-eyed boy cried, violently tearing himself away from the foreign touch.

"If that is your desire." The same gentle voice stated.

'_Familiar… voice._' Shinji blinked and looked up into the gentle eyes of Ayanami Rei. "Ayanami?" He inquired, rubbing at his tear-filled eyes because he didn't trust them.

The first child knelt down on her knees, resting back on her heels to look into the boy's face. "Have I… offended you, Shinji-kun? Am I no longer worthy of your… friendship?"

The third child let out a strangled sigh and shook his head, tears still catching in his throat. "No! Gomen, Rei-chan. I… can't think straight. I can't think at all."

Rei tilted her head slightly to the side curiously. "What is this feeling? Is this… sadness? Your father's words were not kind?"

Shinji took several long deep breaths, attempting to calm down enough to think clearly and communicate. Part of him wanted to run away, forget about being an Eva pilot, forget about being a clone… forget that he died. But he also desperately wanted to talk to Rei. He shook his head, then took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "I… am not spontaneously generating an S2 organ. I have… always had it."

Rei fixed her gaze up at the top of the staircase for a few moments. A moment later, the sound of footsteps receding from the two pilots was heard, along with Ode to Joy being hummed. The blue-haired girl almost frowned then turned her attention back to her fellow pilot. "But that would mean… you are a clone? Like me?"

Shinji nodded and started sobbing again.

Ayanami blinked, unsure of why the boy was so distressed. She had grown accustomed to the information, it didn't bother her anymore, if it ever had to begin with. "Why do you cry, Shinji-kun?"

Unit 01's pilot turned his head away from the girl sheepishly, feeling ashamed for his tears. "It means I died, Rei-chan."

Rei considered that. She still occasionally had bad dreams about when Naoko Akagi strangled her former self to death. Now she understood why he was upset. "I am sorry, Shinji-kun." She stated honestly.

Shinji shook his head, turning his tear-stained gaze upon the blue-haired beauty. "It's not your fault, Rei-chan."

"Yes, it is." The red-eyed girl admitted.

The third child blinked in surprise, wiping the tears almost forcefully out of his eyes. "What? I don't understand."

Rei was silent for a few moments in thought, and then shook her head once. "Neither do I."

Shinji's eyes narrowed slightly, a touch of suspicion creeping into his mind. "Rei-chan… do you know how I died?"

Ayanami shook her head once. "I do not."

"And you didn't know I was a clone?" He pressed.

"I…" Rei paused thoughtfully, before continuing. "I did not until you informed me."

Shinji sighed and ran his hands over his face, trying to clear his thoughts which were now becoming murkier by the moment. "Do you know anything I don't?" He kept the accusation out of his tone, because he felt it was unjustified, despite the girl's earlier mysterious admission.

The first child considered that, and was silent for several minutes. Then she formed a hypothesis that seemed worth sharing. "I believe your death and subsequent cloning was some time after my own."

The third child regarded the girl curiously. "Why do you say that? Do you remember something?"

Rei shook her head once. "No. But my S2 organ is large, and I am missing all of my internal reproductive organs to make room for it. Yours, however, is small, and is either incorporated into or replacing a vestigial organ. The process seems more… refined in you."

Shinji considered that, but an alternate scenario came into his mind. "It's also possible that my S2 organ was an unexpected outcome of my cloning and when you were cloned afterwards, they refined the process to make your S2 organ larger and more useful."

A touch of a smile came to Ayanami's lips. "You are assuming that size matters, in this scenario."

The third child blushed. He could have argued that she assumed it didn't, but he was too embarrassed by where his thoughts went to say that. Instead, a change of subject seemed in order, because he didn't want to think about his death and rebirth anymore. "Rei-chan… is it true that Nagisa is your brother?"

Rei actually seemed surprised by the abrupt change of subject, or possibly the subject itself. "Is that what he said?" The girl inquired, rather than answer right away.

Shinji nodded. "Hai. He said he was your older brother."

The first child considered that in silence for an uncomfortably long time before responding. "I am not sure. He did seem rather… comfortable, calling me sister, however."

The blue-eyed boy looked down at his hands, feeling a little self-conscious with how he must look from all the weeping. "Ah… so it's true that you have not met him before yesterday?"

The red-eyed girl nodded once. "Hai, that is true. However…" She paused in thought.

Shinji looked up at her in interest. "However?"

Ayanami shook her head once, expressing her uncertainty. "I think, perhaps, he might be like us."

Shinji's eyes widened in surprise. '_How many people have NERV cloned?_' "Like us? You mean… a clone?"

"I am not certain." Rei responded evenly.

The third child fell silent once more for a while, but then a question came to his mind. "When did… when did your S2 organ become active? When I first met you, you were injured. And… you did not seem to recover any faster than a normal person."

If the blue-haired girl was offended by the boy implying she wasn't normal, she didn't show it. "It was some time after we battled the seventh angel."

"Oh… when we had to synchronize?" Shinji inquired in an awed tone.

Rei remained silent.

The young Ikari fell silent again as well, until another question came to him. "If you and I were cloned… and possibly Nagisa as well… why couldn't my father have cloned Suzahara? Why is he still dead!" Though he wouldn't say it aloud to the soft-spoken girl, he hated his father now more than ever. A feat he thought was impossible, until now.

The first child considered that, but she wasn't sure the boy would like the answer. "Perhaps it was because with his Eva unit irreparably damaged, his usefulness was at an end." When his expression became horrified, she offered an alternate hypothesis. "Or perhaps it was because there would have been no way to explain the reappearance of the fourth child. If it became widespread knowledge that a deceased human could be brought back to life, body and soul, everyone would want their loved ones returned."

Shinji scowled and looked away from the girl. "What's wrong with that?" His thoughts fell to his mother, though his father told him there had been nothing left of her to clone. If there had been, he knew he would have done everything he could to bring her back. After he came to that conclusion, he realized his father likely would have as well. '_So it's true then… there was nothing left. Mother…_'

Rei turned her gaze to the general location of Commander Ikari, up in his office, as she spoke to his son. "I do not know what is involved in the cloning process, the cost, or the true effect it has on the clone. Perhaps… it is best if we are the only ones."

The young Ikari considered that. '_Was I happy, once? Was I always this lonely? This afraid? Was Ayanami always so quiet and reserved? Was she always this lonely, also? Perhaps… perhaps it _is _best._' He nodded, but couldn't agree out loud. He wasn't sure if he really did agree, but he was willing to admit that without all the facts, which he would be unlikely to ever get, he couldn't really make that decision.

The red-eyed girl regarded the boy curiously and inquired, "Shinji-kun? Is your heart at peace now?"

Shinji wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry in response. So he answered honestly. "No."

Rei gave him a look that was almost sad. Other than the time she was angry with him and slapped him, or when she smiled at him after their first Eva battle together, it was the most expressive the third child had ever seen her, and it broke his heart. "I will protect you, Shinji-kun." The girl reaffirmed softly.

The blue-eyed boy wasn't sure why she said that or why it made him feel the way it did, but he couldn't help but start crying again. He desperately wanted to hug her, draw comfort from her. He wanted the peace in his soul that she gave him when she touched him. Shinji raised his gaze up so he could look at the beautiful blue-haired girl, and somehow she looked open, inviting. As if she would accept his embrace and not pull away from it. But he wasn't sure. He was deathly afraid that if he tried to show her affection like that, it would ruin the rapport they had developed. He was also frightened that if he allowed himself to express his affection and care, that he would be hurt.

Rei watched him, sensing his conflicting emotions by the changes in his body language and eyes, but she remained silent. It would be presumptuous and rude of her to offer any comfort she had not already given him. She also considered his earlier reaction when she touched his shoulder, realizing that he might hate being touched.

The first child was also confused about her own feelings. She felt like she wanted to be closer to the boy, perhaps embracing him as she rarely did with his father. But it didn't feel the same way… with the commander, it was like a child embracing her parent. With Shinji… she wanted it for another reason, but what reason she could not identify. She also wanted something else… a kiss, perhaps. As she had seen in the love stories that Maya-san had taken her to see. But it would be too forward of her to try to kiss him, or even request one, as Asuka had suggested. For the first time in her life, she hated the rules of society and gender roles. But perhaps they were valid? Shinji would probably think she was a… tramp if she forced herself on him with a hug and kiss. Wouldn't he?

So they stared at each other in silence.

Eventually they heard an announcement on the loudspeaker. "All pilots please report for synchronization tests. All pilots, please report for synchronization tests."

Shinji wiped at his eyes again to make sure they were dry, though they were still red and puffy. "I suppose it's time."

Rei nodded, and so they left to get ready for the testing.

* * *

Shinji was a little surprised when he noticed there were three test plugs and four pilots waiting. "Ah… Katsuragi-shousa? How do you want us to proceed?" The boy inquired.

"We want to see what Pilot Nagisa can do, so he shall test in Unit 02's plug first, and then Pilot Soryu will complete her test afterwards." The major's reply came over the intercom. "You and Ayanami will test normally."

Asuka growled in annoyance and turned to face the observation window. "Why does he get to test in _my_ plug! Why don't you put him into one of the others!"

"Other than the fact that they are my orders, you mean?" Misato inquired in a commanding tone. A moment later she continued, "Unit 00 is all but completely obliterated. It is unlikely that it will be repaired or replaced before the next angel attack. Unit 01 is under extreme-emergency-only lockdown. It is also unlikely that we will receive any new Eva units before the next angel attack, and we wouldn't be able to configure for them until they arrive anyway. So that leaves Unit 02."

"Then why don't I go first!" The German girl retorted, haughtily placing her hand on her chest and lifting her nose into the air as she continued her rant, "It's already configured for me!"

Misato looked at Ritsuko and shrugged. The doctor nodded. "I don't see any reason not to let her test first."

The major nodded. "Agreed. Pilot Nagisa, stand down until after Pilot Soryu's sync test."

Kaoru nodded and leaned back against the bulkhead, casually placing his hands in his pockets and humming. "Hai."

The red-haired girl smirked at getting her way and made her way to her test plug as if she were marching in a parade.

Shinji watched her, perplexed at her attitude. '_What does it matter who goes first?_' He wondered. He glanced at Rei, but she was already climbing into her test plug, silent as always. The boy sighed, conflicting emotions still playing out in his mind, but he had to set them aside for the test.

Once they were all in their test plugs, they were lowered partially into the LCL solution to simulate their Eva units. Soon after, their readings started coming in. "Ayanami… 59 percent. Ikari… 79 percent. Soryu………… 64 percent. Much better than last time!" Maya reported.

Various other reports were given by the others, indicating that everything looked good.

"That's a good girl… good girl." Asuka whispered, smiling in her test plug.

"What was that, Pilot Soryu?" Major Katsuragi inquired, raising an eyebrow as she looked at Unit 02's plug.

"I said, I told you I could do it." The red-haired girl proclaimed louder, in a proud voice.

Dr. Akagi noticed Maya glance at Shinji's video feed a few times, then she'd blush a little and look back down at her readouts. Ritsuko sighed, hoping it was embarrassment at what she had done with the boy, and that she wasn't considering a repeat performance. '_You don't want to get involved with the Ikaris, Maya-chan. Trust me._' The doctor mused silently.

Misato nodded. "That's good for today. Bring the pilots up and we'll get Pilot Nagisa's test underway."

"We could wait until we can reconfigure the test plug for Nagisa." Lt. Hyuga suggested.

The major shook her head. "That'll be done by the next time we test. We may as well get some initial results today."

"All pilots have exited the test plugs. The Unit 02 plug is ready for Pilot Nagisa." Lt. Aoba reported.

"Resetting harmonics for Unit 02's plug for Pilot Nagisa's results." Captain Ibuki added, looking up to see the first three pilots shaking the excess LCL fluid off them (or simply letting it drip off in Rei's case), and Kaoru stepping into the test plug.

"Lowering test plug for Unit 02." Makoto stated.

A few moments later, they started getting the results. "Pilot Nagisa's sync ratio is… 29 percent?" Maya reported, surprise in her voice.

"That's not even enough to get the Eva moving." Ritsuko scoffed. "Why did SEELE bother sending this pilot to us?"

Kaoru's eyes opened for a moment and he frowned. His eyes closed again and he attempted to synchronize once more.

"Sync ration is… dropping. 23 percent... 18 percent..." The young captain reported, shaking her head at the results. A few moments later, she gave the final report. "Holding at 13 percent. Eva Unit 02 seems to be rejecting Pilot Nagisa."

Major Katsuragi shook her head in disappointment. "Even configured for Asuka, he should still have a higher sync ratio than that. It seems Unit 02 refuses to allow anyone else to pilot it."

"It'll probably be months before a new Eva unit arrives." Dr. Akagi added, sipping some coffee.

"This test is a failure. Go ahead and bring Pilot Nagisa back up. I doubt he'll be seeing any action." Misato ordered.

After Kaoru exited the plug he smiled and shook his head. "Amazing… Unit 02's soul did not hide as it did last time. This will make things interesting." He murmured, too softly for anyone else to hear. He laughed and shook his head, casting a smile towards Rei and Shinji. "You two really are quite amazing. But you still haven't found your joy, so was it worth it, I wonder?"

The blue-haired girl turned and silently walked away. If she was curious what the fifth child was muttering to himself while looking at her, she did not show it.

Shinji blinked in surprise, wondering why the boy seemed so happy even though his test was a failure. '_I suppose he's relieved that he won't have to pilot Unit 02. I can't blame him… I will be happy when I no longer have to pilot Eva. Even though I will lose my purpose to exist… I'll be useless once again. So… maybe I'll be sad, also. I'm so messed up._' He debated whether to follow Ayanami, talk to Kaoru, or follow Asuka. He glanced between the three, indecision plaguing him.

Asuka gave the silver-haired boy a haughty smile after hearing his poor sync test results, spun on her heel to dramatically make her hair flutter out, and then followed Rei to the girls' locker room to shower and change.

Kaoru shrugged, his smile not faltering for a moment as he left the opposite way, to go to the boys' locker room. "Coming, Shinji-kun?" He called over his shoulder.

The third child blushed in embarrassment, realizing he couldn't just follow the girls into their locker room, so his decision was made for him. He had to follow Nagisa. "H… hai." He willed himself not to glance up at the pretty young captain, because he knew he'd blush, so he fixed his gaze onto the floor and walked out.

* * *

Asuka entered the girls' locker room and stripped off her plug suit, casually tossing it into a wash bin then headed into the showers, unsurprised to find that Rei was already there. She took a moment to appreciate the other girl's figure before stepping into the spray. '_It doesn't hurt to look, right? It's not like it makes me a pervert like Shinji… right? It's not like I'm drooling all over her…_'

"I guess I'll be piloting Unit 02 after all, ne?" Asuka stated, attempting to make pleasant conversation. She didn't really expect the other girl to respond, though.

Rei, as expected, remained silent as she scrubbed her skin clean of LCL fluid.

"Nagisa didn't seem disappointed, though. Maybe he expects the new Eva unit to arrive before the next angel attack?" The second child suggested, ignoring the lack of response from the other girl.

"Perhaps." The blue-haired girl responded evenly.

'_Well, at least that confirms that she's listening to me. See, Shinji? I can do this. I can do anything I set my mind to!_' The red-haired girl smiled and leaned into the water spray for a few moments before running her fingers over her skin to make sure none of it was still sticky with LCL. "Shinji looked like he had been crying. His eyes were red and all… puffy. Is he ok?" Asuka inquired, concern in her voice.

Rei turned her red eyes towards Asuka, surprise leaking through her normally placid mask. She was actually shocked the girl noticed, especially since most of her attention was fixed on trying to aggravate the strangely happy Kaoru. "He will survive. It is not my place to speak of his problems. He may… appreciate your concern, however."

It was the German girl's turn to be surprised this time. '_Wow… Rei actually communicated with me. Amazing.'_ "I'll approach him cautiously then. You know how touchy he can be."

The first child turned her gaze to the other girl again for a few moments before applying shampoo to her hair. She actually didn't know, because other than earlier that day, she had never attempted to talk to him about such matters before. She didn't really understand her own feelings on the matter either, and she wasn't sure what to say in this situation, so she remained silent, as usual.

"So has Shinji put the moves on you yet?" Asuka inquired, though she knew it was highly unlikely that he had done so in the last few hours.

"He has not." Rei replied, her tone neutral.

The second child shrugged and ran her fingers through her hair after rinsing shampoo out to make sure it wasn't sticking together. "And I'll bet you didn't take matters into your own hands either, am I right?"

"You are correct." The blue-haired girl responded softly.

The German girl laughed softly and rubbed conditioner into her hair. "You're probably going to have to give him some kind of signal, you know?"

Rei was silent for several minutes then she turned her gaze to the red-haired girl and raised an eyebrow slightly. "I did not have to give you any signal to receive a kiss."

Asuka blushed a little as a result of the other girl's observation and turned her head away so it wasn't seen. "Yeah but that was different. You didn't even want a kiss from me."

"Is that so?" The blue hair inquired in a soft, mysterious tone, betraying nothing.

The second child glanced towards the other pilot, unsure of how to take her question. "Well… regardless, Shinji would never show enough backbone to kiss you on his own."

"Perhaps." Rei simply said.

Asuka rinsed her hair out, noticing the other girl had done so already and was reaching to turn off the shower spray. "So what are you going to do?"

The first child paused in her step towards the towels to turn her gaze back towards the German girl. She raised an eyebrow up slightly, but did not respond.

"If Shinji doesn't kiss you." The second child elaborated, in case there was confusion in what she meant by her question.

"I shall learn to live without knowing what it is to kiss Ikari." The red-eyed girl replied as she picked up a towel and started drying herself off.

Asuka threw her hands up in exasperation. "You're hopeless!"

"Perhaps." Rei responded evenly.

* * *

And that's the end of the story. Whoa… wait… put those torches and pitchforks down! It was a joke! Really! EEP! Next chapter, Asuka decides to spend the night over at Ayanami's this time, to continue the girl-talk and attempt to convince the girl that Shinji won't go after her on his own, so she should give him some sort of "Come get some" signal. Whether that works or not, I suppose you'll have to wait and see. Meanwhile, Misato has requested some Shinji-time while she can still get it, so that'll be in the next chapter as well. Maya has invoked her video-game-playtime clause that she snuck into her contract when I wasn't looking, so she'll get the chapter off. Sorry. Probably no Kaoru either… he has to consider his options, and I doubt you'll want to see a whole section devoted to him tapping his fingers and staring up at the sky. So… likely there will be Gendo and/or Ritsuko filler, or something. We'll see what my fingers come up with. Until next time, Au revoir!


	21. Interludes: Part 3 – Kaoru and the Wheel

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: I decided to make a change to my plans for this chapter. I was going to save the Kaoru stuff for later but then I was like "You know, it's just not going to fit well into the regular story… I can't just jam it in there. Girls just don't do that." (And now I must duck and run from the menfolk… haha) So rather than having some long-winded conversation where Kaoru mentions this "first time around, second time around" etc stuff during his final confrontation with Shinji, I decided to do it in Interlude form and then some sort of mention will be made to him at some point, maybe. Anyway… let me know what you think.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 21: Interludes: Part 3 – Kaoru and the Wheel of Destiny

_Part 1: The First Time Around_

Kaoru wandered the devastated city of Tokyo-3, observing the effects of the civil war between his brothers and sisters. "So this is the end result of creation." The angel observed, gazing upon the destruction with an accepting gaze. He paused outside of a shop, tilting his head as he heard a strange, beautiful sound. A smile formed on his lips as he closed his eyes, taking in the sound of Beethoven's "Ode to Joy".

"Such beauty the Lilim are capable of, wrapped in their cocoons of sorrow." He remarked aloud in wonder. After hearing the entire song, the fifth child continued wandering the desolate streets. The newest pilot neared a large crater lake, created by the destruction of Unit 00. "Little sister, this is your handiwork." He remarked, laughing softly.

Kaoru turned his gaze, spotting a dark-haired boy walking away from the area of the lake on his way to school. "Ah, I missed the young Ikari. I suppose if I hadn't stopped to hear that beautiful song, I might have been able to introduce myself. A pity. That will have to wait." He started humming the tune to the song he heard in the shop and walked to NERV headquarters so as to introduce himself to the staff and begin his plans.

He stayed there, talking with the various personnel of NERV, curious why they fought with such conviction. He was particularly impressed with the resolve of Misato Katsuragi, for she had witnessed the Second Impact, seen the weakness of Man against the might of the Angels, and yet still she stood in defiance, refusing to let mankind go gently into the night.

After the sync tests were performed, where he amazed the command and support personnel of NERV with his amazing results, he was walking through NERV and spotted the young Ayanami coming up an escalator towards him, so he stopped and waited for her. "Greetings, sister." He smiled at the blue-haired girl.

Rei stared at the boy impassively for several moments then turned to walk away.

"Have you no kind words for your big brother, dear sister?" Kaoru inquired, following the girl.

"I am not her." The first child stated in a near whisper, her gait not slowing.

The 17th angel smiled. "No, but you are born from her and you bear her soul."

The red-eyed girl paused and turned to face the fifth child. "What do you want?"

"I wish to converse with you, dear sister." Nagisa explained with a soft laugh.

Ayanami's eyes narrowed. "For what purpose?"

"You walk amongst the Lilim, as both the Mother and Daughter, and you are even lonelier than most. Your soul cries out in desperate pain, but you ignore it. You refuse to reach out and connect with any of them. Why?" The newest pilot inquired, leaning casually against the steel wall behind him.

Rei's eyes narrowed as she considered his words. "I do not… understand my feelings. When I have a purpose, I am happy. When my purpose is lost, I wait for it again. Piloting Eva helps me understand myself, but when I am not in Eva, I am… empty."

Kaoru nodded. "Your soul seeks to fulfill its purpose. Fascinating. Why do you not follow your heart? It leads you to your happiness."

The first child followed the boy's gaze, watching Shinji Ikari heading towards the boys' locker room. "My heart does not lead to Ikari."

"And that is why your heart is empty, dear sister. It leads you to the broken void, and it shall destroy you. A pity." The silver-haired boy commented. "Perhaps, if he destroys me, you shall have a second chance."

Rei raised an eyebrow up slightly, regarding the fifth child. "Why is Ikari so important? He is just a boy."

Kaoru gave the girl a gentle smile. "As am I. But our destinies will soon collide, and to the victor goes the spoils. Perhaps you are as unimportant to him as he is to you. Does that frighten you? Perhaps he shall choose void, as you have done."

"Perhaps." The first child responded. Without another word, she turned away from Tabris in human form. "I shall fulfill my function, as shall you." She deadpanned, and then walked away.

The silver-haired boy smiled and walked away, humming to himself.

The next morning, he took a deep breath, greeting the sun with a smile. He made his way to NERV again, took a few last minute looks around, and then came to stand before Unit 02. He gazed up at the red giant and nodded. "It's time."

Soon after dominating the soul of Unit 02, he was using his power to make his way towards Terminal Dogma, intent on finding and merging with Adam. A moment later he heard a primal scream and looked up.

"**NAGISA!**" Shinji cried, using his Eva unit to tackle its red counterpart. "I don't understand this, you're a human, but you're an angel too!" The third child demanded.

Kaoru smiled as he watched the two giant Evas struggle. "Ah, Ikari-san, we meet at last. It was our fate to meet here. It is you and I who shall decide the fate of mankind."

As Unit 01 struggled with Asuka's Eva, the third child shook his head. "I don't understand what you're talking about! I don't want to have to kill you, but if that's what I have to do, I will!"

They crashed through the last barrier into Terminal Dogma and fell into Lilith's blood, Shinji using the fall to position his Eva on top of the other so it took the brunt of the damage. A moment later, his Eva's fist closed on the 17th Angel. "Why? Why are you doing this?" The young Ikari demanded.

Kaoru was surprised at how quickly the pilot had overcome his adversary and closed in on him. He hadn't even had a chance to see the Father before he was caught. He glanced upwards and saw Rei staring down at him impassively, using her own powers to keep his in check. He laughed softly. "It was our destiny, Ikari-san. And it seems you have won. Will you choose the Void, as Ayanami-san has, I wonder? I wish I had gotten a chance to get to know you. It would have been nice to know whether you are worthy or not."

"What the hell are you talking about!" Shinji demanded.

"You must destroy me if mankind is to survive, Ikari-san. Otherwise, I will destroy you all. So choose, then." Kaoru gave the pilot a forgiving smile.

Shinji was silent for several long moments. "More blood on my hands for the sake of mankind. Perhaps… now I can rest." Without another word, his hand closed.

Soon afterwards, Shinji was crying, both in sorrow and relief that his struggle was now over. He stiffened when he felt a presence in front of him. He looked up and saw Rei standing before him, with a confused look on her face. "Oh… Ayanami."

Rei stared down at the other pilot, curiosity in her voice as she asked, "Why do you cry, Ikari?"

"I'm… tired of it all. But I'm relieved. I no longer have to pilot Eva. I suppose I won't be seeing you again." The boy stated a little sadly.

"You have… regrets?" Ayanami inquired. She seemed confused more than ever.

Shinji nodded. "A lot of regrets, yes."

The blue-haired girl knelt down and looked into the boy's eyes. "What is your greatest regret, Ikari?"

The third child sighed and glanced away for a moment before meeting her gaze again. "I… would have liked to have gotten to know you better. I think… I think that we could have been friends."

Rei was silent for a while, then nodded. "Perhaps. Maybe we shall have a second chance. Now, take my hand, Ikari. It is time."

Shinji blinked and looked at the girl in confusion. "Time?" His eyes widened in fear when he noticed her eyes were no longer red, but gold. She also seemed slightly translucent, but also glowing with power. "What!"

"It will not hurt, Ikari. I promise." Rei-Lilith stated softly, warmly in fact.

Tears fell unchecked from Shinji's eyes, but he felt peace settle over his soul. "I trust you." He reached out and took the girl's hand. A moment later, his physical form was shed in a burst of LCL fluid.

* * *

_Part 2: The Second Time Around_

Note: This time around would be considered the events you watched on the show. So herein will be the events you didn't see or a different perspective on the ones you did.

Kaoru wandered the devastated city of Tokyo-3, observing the effects of the civil war between his brothers and sisters. "So this is the end result of creation." The angel observed, gazing upon the destruction with an accepting gaze. He paused outside of a shop, tilting his head as he heard a strange, beautiful sound. A smile formed on his lips as he closed his eyes, taking in the sound of Beethoven's "Ode to Joy".

A moment later, he blinked as memories flooded his mind. He looked towards the lake-filled crater off in the distance and smiled. "Ah, a second chance? Amazing." Instead of staying near the shop to hear the entire song this time, he walked to the lake and found a perch on a fallen statue. "This time, I shall not miss meeting you, Ikari-san." The silver-haired bow remarked to himself. Soon enough, the third child stopped to observe the lake. He could feel the turmoil in the boy's soul and it fascinated him, making him wonder what lay beyond the cocoon of sorrow he had wrapped around his soul. He started humming "Ode to Joy", the sound making the young pilot realize he was not alone. After their fateful conversation, they made their way to NERV for the sync tests.

Afterwards, Kaoru changed out of his plug suit and walked to the escalator where he met Rei the first time, curious to see if she was any different this time. "You are the first child, correct? Ayanami Rei. You are the same as I am."

The surprise left the girl's eyes almost immediately and curious suspicion was its replacement. "Identify yourself." Rei requested.

"Nagisa Kaoru, the fifth child." The silver-haired boy responded.

Rei stared at the boy silently for a few moments then started leaving, remaining silent.

"You do not remember me, little sister?" The fifth child inquired, surprised that he remembered but she did not.

"I do not." The red-eyed girl responded.

The newest pilot smiled. "Fascinating. You are different this time."

Ayanami paused and turned to face him. "Explain yourself." She requested in her normal soft voice.

"Of course." Kaoru nodded, casually leaning back against the wall behind him. "The last time we met, your soul was empty. You sought the Void because you had nothing else. This time… you care for someone."

Rei regarded the boy thoughtfully, a vague memory playing at the edge of her consciousness. Somehow, his words made sense. "Ikari."

"He does seem to be the center of it." The fifth child stated with amusement.

Ayanami considered that silently. "Ikari does? He is… in my heart, but I do not understand why."

Kaoru nodded. "I simply must speak with him this time, then. But tell me, little sister, why does your soul not reach out for his? You have touched, yet your heart does not cry out for his."

Rei turned away from the silver-haired boy before replying. "Because we have no future. Perhaps if things were different…" She trailed off, a touch of regret in her voice, and then walked away silently.

The fifth child sighed. "You may get another chance, but I think things will end differently this time, little sister. I am sorry." He made his way towards the baths, remembering Shinji had gone that way last time, so he figured he would likely run into him there. A bulkhead opened and he smiled at finding the third child sitting on a bench, listening to music. The loneliness still cried out from his soul, but a yearning was present as well. "Hello. You weren't waiting here for me, were you?" Kaoru inquired, amusement in his voice.

"No, well, not really waiting anyway." Shinji replied, blushing in embarrassment.

And so Kaoru was able to spend a good deal of time conversing with the enigmatic Ikari, and quickly realized how beautiful the boy's soul was, and how delicate his heart. '_It is too bad that you and Little Sister never had a chance to pursue your happiness, Shinji-kun. I see why she loves you._' He thought to himself.

The next day, it was time to meet his destiny once more. "It is time! Let us go, Adam's dark shadow, servant of the Lilim!"

As he was making his way towards Terminal Dogma, he glanced upwards, remembering that the last time, Shinji had caught up to him already by this time. "Shinji-kun… you are late." The 17th angel murmured, curious why that event was different this time.

After they penetrated Terminal Dogma, Kaoru noticed that the third child landed on the bottom this time, and still struggled with Unit 02, distracted due to his conflict and anger over the fifth child's betrayal. He turned without a word and made his way towards Adam and floated in front of it. "Adam… that from which we came. Must one who is born of Adam return to Adam, even though it will destroy Man?" Realization dawned on him as he realized he was not looking upon Adam, but Lilith, with a mask covering her face. "Wait… this isn't… I understand now! The Lilim! Lilith!" '_We are brothers and sisters with mankind as well… amazing. The hope that spurred Man to defeating my brethren is worthy to survive. Shinji… you are worthy most of all, you who have found your way into Little Sister's heart._' He turned to face Shinji, ready to accept his fate. He was at peace, even as his body was crushed and his soul freed once more.

That evening, Misato returned home after attempting to console the young Ikari for ending Kaoru's life. He was sitting in the same place where he had met the angel for the first time. Tears fell from his eyes as he stared into the waters filling the hole where _his_ Ayanami had died.

Shinji blinked a few times and looked up, somewhat surprised, even through his grief, at seeing Rei standing beside him silently. "Oh… Ayanami. Hello." He offered weakly.

She stared down at him. "Why do you cry, Ikari?" She inquired softly.

"Kaoru… he didn't deserve to die. He was… so much better than I." The third child explained, looking back towards the waters.

The first child knelt down on the ground next to him, looking out where her former self had died. "Is that your greatest regret, Ikari?" She asked.

Shinji sighed. He wanted to say yes, but he would be lying. He had cared for Kaoru very much. He saw a beauty in the angel's soul that he wished he could have saved. But, he did not love the angel as he had loved another. "No." He replied simply.

The blue-haired girl turned her head to regard the boy silently, her curiosity piqued. "What is your greatest regret, Ikari?"

The third child blushed, unsure if he could tell her. "It might upset you."

The girl blinked. "Please tell me, Ikari." She requested politely.

Shinji stared down at his hands, feeling sheepish. "I regret… that I was unable to save you. When you detonated your Eva to save my life. You are her… but you are not her. It's all very confusing. I… never connected with you in the same way I did with her. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you this.

Rei was silent for a while before responding. "I asked you to and you were honest. Thank you. I regret that as well, I would have liked to have… had a future with you."

The third child turned his gaze back to the blue-haired angel, confusion coming over his expression. "I don't understand."

"Perhaps… we shall have another chance. It is time." Rei-Lilith gave the boy a gentle loving smile.

Shinji was shocked numb. "Rei… your eyes." He stared into the golden orbs, apprehension worming through his guts.

"Take my hand, Shinji-kun. It will not hurt, I promise." Rei-Lilith requested gently, holding out her hand.

Tears fell unchecked from Shinji's eyes as regrets burned in his heart, but he felt peace settle over his soul. "I trust you." He reached out and took the girl's hand. A moment later, his physical form was shed in a burst of LCL fluid.

* * *

_Part 3: The Third Turn of the Wheel_

Kaoru stared up at Rei's apartment, memories of the prior two realities already having come to his mind. He felt this time things were drastically different than the previous two times, which had been relatively similar, except for what was in Rei and Shinji's hearts. There was something about Rei that was making this happen, and he had to know what. He knew she was brethren, but he did not understand that connection completely.

So when he had her distracted, he pressed his fingers past the girl's pale skin and touched her S2 organ. Immediately he knew her… Lilith. '_Of course! Who else would have had the cause these changes?_' He also sensed it in her… the love for Shinji Ikari, much stronger this time. '_They have connected. This is glorious! And yet… still their hearts do not rush towards each other! Will they never learn?_'

Learning this truth was worth the pain that the girl's anger resulted in as she lashed out with her power on instinct. '_I suppose I deserved that for intruding on her as I did. But she will understand someday, I hope.'_

Later, when he was spending time with Shinji, he was amazed at how different he seemed this time. Happier in a way, though the shroud of sorrow and loneliness still hung over his soul. It broke the angel's heart, but he had hope for the boy.

Even later still, as he was contemplating Eva Unit 02, he sensed that something was different about it this time, but he wasn't sure yet what it was. He was just about to walk away when Asuka walked up and stared up at the Eva in a daze, lost in her own thoughts. Kaoru smiled, happy that this time he would get a chance to get to know the second child, as the previous two times they had never even met. He found her passion fascinating, but the shroud of sorrow and loneliness seemed to strangle her soul. Perhaps she was happier than she had been in the previous two realities, but it was barely a step up. He tried to share some insight with the girl, hoping to spark… something in her, some hope perhaps, but all it really seemed to serve to do was anger her. Still, it was very much worth it.

Later that day, during the sync test, it became apparent. After he left with Shinji, his thoughts turned to Unit 02. '_Kyoko… you are not hiding this time. Your daughter's strength has returned, and so then, has your own? I see that you will not allow me to dominate you for a third time._'

After the boy left the showers to return home again, he returned to the room NERV had given him. "It seems fair that I give Shinji-kun and my dear sister some time to figure things out. Or, perhaps I will find the true Adam this time? Perhaps fate is giving _me_ these extra chances, instead of those two? One cannot deny one's fate, only delay it. We shall see how things play out then. Good luck, dear sister. Perhaps you shall find your happiness at last."

Kaoru stretched out on his bed and hummed softly to himself.

* * *

Next chapter: This time for sure, Asuka decides to spend the night over at Ayanami's this time, to continue the girl-talk and attempt to convince the girl that Shinji won't go after her on his own, so she should give him some sort of "Come get some" signal. Whether that works or not, I suppose you'll have to wait and see. Meanwhile, Misato has requested some Shinji-time while she can still get it, so that'll be in the next chapter as well. Maya has invoked her video-game-playtime clause that she snuck into her contract when I wasn't looking, so she'll still get the chapter off. Sorry. Definitely no Kaoru, he's turning the spotlight over to those other wacky pilots for now. There might still be some Gendo and/or Ritsuko filler, or something. We'll see what my fingers come up with. So until next time, adios!


	22. The Sweet Sound of the Last Days

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: I found an art-book that had a floor-plan for Rei's apartment, something I've been looking for basically since I started this story. Of course, everything is written in German, so it took me some time to figure it all out… but I was surprised at how much she actually had in her apartment. It's very space-efficient, which is fairly typical of a Japanese urban apartment. Finding it made me have to edit this chapter a bit, which was fine since I hadn't finished it yet. Haha. I have to admit, when I watched the series I had a slightly different layout in mind… but now I know for sure what's in there. Hehe Of course, she doesn't have all those bloody bandages lying around anymore… and since I mentioned a table in a previous chapter, we'll assume she bought one. The only real place she could fit it would be in her bedroom area though, so I figure the table is over next to her little dorm-sized refrigerator (the girl has TWO refrigerators! Can you believe that?) I figure that box filled with bloodstained tissues wouldn't be there anymore (one can hope) and there's room on that wall so, if I were her, that's where I'd put a table. It'd be close to the stove too. So… yeah.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 22: The Sweet Sound of the Last Days

Asuka followed Rei, whom was walking home. The blue-haired girl remained silent the whole time, and whether she was even aware that the second child was following her, she gave no indication.

The German girl was lost in her own thoughts, wondering if her life was becoming more complicated now that she was more willing to open her heart to others, or if it was just that she allowed herself to notice these complications now, whereas before she would have just blatantly ignored them, lashed out at those who tried to connect with her, and shut herself away where it was safe.

They entered the first child's small apartment, where Asuka got her first look at the place. "Mein Gott, how can you _live_ in such a place!" The girl wondered aloud, staring at her drab surroundings.

"It is my home." Ayanami replied simply as she sat down on her bed.

The red-haired girl decided to never again complain about Misato's apartment. She took a look around, without bothering to ask permission. "You have a game console but no television set?" She inquired in surprise.

Rei blinked and looked down at the console, almost as if she had forgotten it was there. "Ibuki-taii purchased it for me this morning. She was not aware of my lack of electronic entertainment appliances."

Asuka shook her head in wonder and looked around some more. "No decorations… a shitty little stove… how can you stand it?"

"It is my home." Rei responded again in the exact same tone as before, no hint of annoyance or offense in her voice.

The second child shook her head in disbelief. "What do you _do_ all day?"

The first child blinked. It was the exact same question that Maya had asked her earlier that day. She wondered what other people did to fill their time, and why her choices were so strange to them. "I sleep. I read. I play my violin. Sometimes I go for a swim." She gave the same response to the other girl as she had given the captain.

Asuka threw her hands up in exasperation. "That's it? You don't listen to music? You don't watch television? You don't go out to movies? You don't talk to people? You don't draw or write or do anything creative? You just… sit here? And read, play a little violin, then sleep, and wait to be called to pilot Eva!"

"Hai." Rei replied.

"And your _clothes_!" The red-haired girl cried, pointing into the other girl's small closet. "A few school uniforms, one pair of blue-jeans, and a single t-shirt? This is it?"

"It is all that I require." The first child responded softly.

The second child shook her head in disbelief. "No dresses? No clothes to just sit around and be comfortable in? No clothes to just have some fun in?"

Ayanami remained silent.

"Unglaublich! (Unbelievable/incredible!)" Asuka murmured, plopping down on the bed next to the blue-haired girl and ignoring the chair that she _could_ have sat on. Then she noticed the books stacked up on the nightstand/dresser next to the girl's bed, which also held a few other little odds and ends like a glass half-filled with water, and a cracked pair of eyeglasses. Impulsively, she stretched out and picked up the eyeglasses. "Reading glasses? I think you need a new pair. You should throw these away."

A flash of anger passed over Rei's normally placid features as she snatched the glasses out of the other girl's hands and cradled them protectively over her breast. "You may touch anything else in this room, save these." She stated firmly.

Surprise lit up the second child's face, and for a moment she felt annoyance pass through her. She took a few breaths, biting down her normal response to snap at the girl. Normally she would have teased her about them or become indignant and state "Who wants to touch those stupid things anyway!" or some other similar response, but instead she just clenched her hand into a fist and willed herself to calm down. Dr. Kagame would be proud. She knew she should have apologized, but she hadn't made _that_ much progress. "Ja, sure."

Rei calmly stood up, set the glasses back onto the dresser, and then sat back down on the bed in the same spot as before.

Asuka was silent for a few moments, unsure of what to say, then a playful grin spread across her face. "I can touch _anything_ else?"

The first child raised an eyebrow slightly, unsure of but curious as to what the other girl was intending.

"Well, you _did_ say that, ja?" The red-haired girl pressed impishly.

"Hai." Rei responded neutrally.

Curious as to what her reaction would be, Asuka placed her hand onto the other girl's creamy thigh, which was bare since she was wearing her school uniform, and thus a short skirt.

The blue-haired girl looked down at the hand on her thigh then raised her eyes back up to meet Asuka's, but remained silent.

The second child bit her lip nervously. She wasn't sure how to take the first child's lack of response, but her pulse was quickening as she allowed her fingers to wander a bit, feeling the silky smooth skin. She looked down at where her fingers were splayed, and then into the red eyes before her. She felt… aroused? Strangely, the accepting compliance of the girl made her blood heat up.

Rei blinked, but remained silent and still.

Asuka leaned in and pressed her mouth to the other girl's, relishing in the soft lips. Without being prompted this time, the first child kissed her back, but didn't deepen the kiss or return her touch. The red-haired girl backed away after a short while and began to wonder if she was taking advantage of the girl's accepting nature. She felt her cheeks burning in embarrassment, and noticed that even Rei's porcelain cheeks had a touch of color to them. She leaned back on her heels and placed her hand back into her own lap, feeling it best she not press any further.

They stared at each other silently for several minutes.

The second child cleared her throat nervously and glanced away. "So… was that ok?"

"It was pleasant." Rei affirmed softly, though she did not elaborate.

Asuka scratched her elbow absently, unsure of how to take that response. "Ja… it was. You realize, of course, that Shinji will never try that without some indication that you want it, right?"

"It is love that I feel for Shinji-kun, Asuka-chan." The blue-haired girl responded, taking the conversation to an odd tangent.

The second child blinked in surprise, and then her mouth dropped open. "Eh? Why… what… brought that on?"

"I am explaining, Asuka-chan. I love him, which means I accept him for who he is." Rei elaborated.

Asuka shook her head in confusion. "I still don't get why you suddenly changed the subject to that."

The red-eyed girl almost smiled. "If Shinji-kun is to love me, he must also accept me for who I am. Do you understand?"

The second child was by no means slow. She could be rather self-centered and unobservant, yes, but intelligence she did not lack in. You don't pass das Abitur and complete University in Germany by the age of 13 by having any less than genius intellect, after all. But still she didn't follow what the first child was getting at. "I don't follow." The girl admitted reluctantly. She hated admitting what could be construed as weakness. Probably more than anything else, ever.

For all her strengths, Rei was not the best communicator… in fact, her communication skills could even be described as shitty. Worse, in matters of the heart, often she didn't understand herself well enough to even attempt to explain it to others. So she considered how best to explain it in a way that would suit them both. "You have observed how I am." She paused, wondering if she should or even could explain herself, but no words came so she hoped it was something that didn't need to be said. "Shinji must love me as I am, or he loves a lie. He would not love _me_. I cannot pretend to be how I am not. I am Ayanami Rei."

Asuka blinked. "But… what if he never… you know." She understood the words and the meaning, but she couldn't believe that the girl, who claimed to love Shinji, would not encourage the boy somehow, someway, to let him know she welcomed his desire and affection. It totally went against everything _she_ was, and worse, she knew Shinji was basically the same way as the soft-spoken blue-haired girl. Without one of them being able to make the first move, nothing would ever happen!

"I shall love him regardless." Rei responded evenly, relieved that she wouldn't have to explain herself more. It was already against her grain to say as much as she already had.

The second child considered the matter for several minutes then a smile spread over her lips. She found a loophole. "Would it be ok if _I_ told him to make a pass at you?"

"It must be his decision, whether he expresses his affection or not, Asuka-chan." Rei shook her head once.

Annoyance flashed over the red-haired girl's features. "I wouldn't tell him 'Hey Shinji, go see if you can stick your dick in Rei-chan.' I'd just say… you know… 'Hey Shinji, how do you feel about Rei? Oh _really_, you worship the ground she walks on and you want her to have your _babies_? Well, maybe you should tell _her_ that.' Ich bin kein Dummkopf! (I'm not an idiot!)"

A touch of red came to Rei's cheeks when the second child said the first part of her statement. "That… is acceptable. But it _must_ be his choice." They were silent for a while, and then she changed the subject. "You love Shinji-kun as well, do you not?"

Shock and embarrassment were frozen on Asuka's face. Once her brain started working again, she glanced away self-consciously. "I don't know. Perhaps as a brother…"

Rei raised an eyebrow slightly. "Only as a brother." Though it was a statement, it sounded more like a question.

The German girl shrugged. "Even if it were more, I won't cause problems for you. You… deserve him. I don't."

"Shinji is not a prize or possession. Is the affection you show me meant to cause problems?" The blue-haired girl wondered aloud.

Asuka's mouth dropped in surprise again. After a few moments she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause problems. It's not like you like me that way, anyway."

"You have caused no problems, Asuka-chan." Rei responded enigmatically.

Feeling rejected, even though she hadn't really put herself out that much to begin with, she looked away, her cheeks burning in shame. Suddenly, a realization hit her. But it begged a question. "If… you did like me, you wouldn't tell me, would you?"

Rei turned her gaze towards the other pilot and raised an eyebrow slightly. "Not in words." She responded in the same mysterious tone as before.

"You told me that you love Shinji." Asuka observed, narrowing her eyes a bit as she tried to figure the other girl out.

The blue-haired girl nodded. "Hai."

The German girl shook her head in bafflement. "Why?"

Rei stared at her silently.

"You… trust me?" Asuka inquired carefully.

"Hai." The first child agreed.

The second child wondered if there was more to it than that, and it was becoming obvious that while Rei did not express herself well, she did accept and affirm it when observations were made correctly. It was annoying, but perhaps workable. "You… like me?" She inquired, even more carefully this time.

"Hai." Rei agreed.

Asuka felt her mouth dry up and so she swallowed nervously. "Do you like it when I kiss you?"

"Hai." The first child agreed. She didn't even realize she had given any indications otherwise.

"Fick mich… (Fuck me…)" The German girl muttered in disbelief. She had assumed they were merely tolerated until now.

The red-eyed girl raised an eyebrow.

"Scheiße! I'm sorry, that wasn't a request. It was just… I was shocked." Asuka blushed in embarrassment.

"Understood." The clone stated.

The blue-eyed girl let a teasing smile form on her lips. "Though that does beg an interesting question." When she, of course, received no comment, she continued. "Do you want me to… take it further than kissing?"

Rei remained silent, though whether it was because the girl wasn't specific enough or didn't deem such a ridiculous question worthy of replying to, she gave no indication.

Asuka blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry. That was rude… even I could see that."

The blue-haired girl tilted her head slightly to the side curiously. "No need for apology."

The second child felt more confused than ever. On the one hand, she wasn't sure if _she_ was even ready to have sex, on the other she felt her curiosity burning on whether or not the first child would let her if she tried. Then of course there was the uncertainty that if she did allow it, whether it would be because she wanted to do it also, or if she was just accustomed to being obedient to the whims of others. She admitted to herself that she did like getting her way and having others give into her desires, but she also felt she might feel guilty about it otherwise if she did 'force herself' on the other girl. Furthermore, there was still the uncertainty whether she really _liked_ girls, or if it was just Rei's accepting nature that she found attractive. The same nature that attracted her to Shinji. She hissed out a breath in frustration and then suddenly she had another thought and completely changed the subject. "Who's going to cook dinner!"

Rei blinked. Her thoughts on the sudden change of subject, she kept to herself as always. Normally she'd either eat a piece of fruit or two out of her refrigerator, or heat up some instant noodles in the microwave. Or, she'd eat something at the NERV cafeteria. But she hadn't had a chance to go to the grocery store since she was injured the first time, and had been relying on the kindness of the third child for her meals since then. She realized that she hadn't asked Shinji to come by to cook dinner for her, so it was unlikely he would come, especially since he knew Asuka was with him. "You do not wish to cook dinner, Asuka-chan?" The blue-haired girl inquired.

"I don't cook." The second child griped in indignation. She finally remembered the other girl was injured (and she was not aware of the girl's abnormally fast healing), and hadn't stopped to wonder whether the girl even had any food _to_ cook when she followed her home, uninvited. "There's still a place that delivers open. Misato's cooking is… eh… poisonous, so while Shinji-kun was here taking care of you, we ordered from them a lot." Asuka suggested.

"Do they have vegetarian dishes?" Rei inquired.

The German girl shrugged. "Probably. They have a little bit of everything. We can ask."

The first child nodded, but remained silent.

Asuka looked around for a few moments before inquiring, "Ah… do you have a phone?"

Rei silently retrieved her cellular phone, which she only had so NERV could call her when there was an angel attack or when Commander Ikari wanted her to come in, and handed it to the other girl.

"Wunderbar! (Wonderful!)" The red-haired girl exclaimed. She stared at the phone for a few moments then asked, "Ah… you don't happen to have a phone book, do you?"

The first child blinked.

Asuka frowned. "Well maybe Information is still in service." She dialed the number, but no operator answered. "Scheiße" She stared at the phone after hanging up.

Rei remained silent. Except when her stomach grumbled.

The second child tapped her fingers against the back of the phone as she tried to think of what to do. Then she had a bright idea. "I know! I'll call Shinji!"

The red-eyed girl, of course, remained silent.

* * *

Shinji walked into his home and kicked off his shoes as he called, "I'm home!"

"Welcome home!" came the major's slightly slurred response from the kitchen.

The third child groaned inwardly, knowing the woman had obviously found a shop that still had some beer on sale. He entered the kitchen and saw the purple-haired beauty frowning at a box of instant rice, blinking as she tried to read the directions. The boy noticed five empty beer cans, a half empty bottle of whiskey, and a shot-glass. '_Oh shit… she found the hard stuff and she's making up for lost time!_' The boy coughed nervously when he noticed she was still trying to figure out that instant rice. "Ah… are you cooking, Misato-san?"

Major Katsuragi shook her head and laughed. "I was going to… but I can't seem to be able to read these damn directions! It's written in some foreign language."

Shinji coughed, trying to hide his scowl. "The box is upside-down, Misato-san."

Misato blinked and turned the box the right way and started laughing again. "Oh hey, you're right!"

"I'll cook, Misato-san." Shinji offered. The major was a horrible cook when she was relatively sober… when she was drunk, she could even ruin micro-wave instant noodles, somehow.

"You are… amazing, Shinji-kun. Has anyone ever told you that? And you can be cute when you aren't being a jerk." The major giggled and plopped down at the table.

The third child was glad he had his back to the major, and that looks couldn't really kill, or the purple-haired woman would have spontaneously combusted… and had an anvil fall on her head. So he simply ground his teeth together and started cooking. "It's been a while since I've been able to cook meat." He remarked as he fried some fish and started boiling some rice and noodles.

Misato raised an eyebrow, and then remembered when she took them all to a ramen shop to thank them for the miracle of defeating the 10th angel. "Oh, Rei still doesn't eat meat?"

Shinji shook his head silently and finished cooking dinner. They started eating, and the third child was surprised and disgusted when the major seemed to drink half a can of beer for every few bites of dinner. He knew it was pointless to complain about it and he wanted to avoid an unnecessary argument.

The major sighed and leaned over, displaying an ample amount of cleavage as she got a closer look at the young Ikari. "So Shinji-kun… I have to know. Are you boning both Asuka _and_ Rei?"

She had, of course, chosen the very moment he was sipping some water to ask that question, so a spray of water jetted out of his mouth and he choked on what he had already swallowed. After beating his chest to clear his throat, the young pilot glared at his guardian. "I haven't been with either one of them!" He protested.

Misato frowned. She was sure the boy was lying to her, though she wasn't sure why except for modesty. "Oh come on, Shinji-kun. I _know_ you're sleeping with Asuka. I walked in on you _while_ you were _with_ her! And you seem pretty close to Rei, also. So fess up!"

"It's not like that!" Shinji protested, wondering if she thought he was an over-sexed fiend or something. "Asuka-chan and I only sleep. She was teasing me that morning you walked in."

The purple-haired beauty smiled. She was willing to accept that, but he didn't say anything about the young Ayanami. "And Rei? You two looked pretty cozy this morning."

The blue-eyed boy blushed. '_Why did she have to bring Rei-chan up?_' He wondered. Then aloud, he responded "I made her breakfast. You _know_ she spent the night with Asuka."

"But before that?" Misato inquired in a knowing tone.

"She was injured!" Shinji blurted in exasperation. He was about to add to that statement when the phone rang. "Ah… I'll get it." He walked over to the phone and picked it up. "Hai? Moshi moshi."

"_Shinji-kun, just the man I needed to speak to." _Asuka's voice came over the phone.

"Oh… hello Asuka-chan. What did you need to speak to me about? Is Rei-chan all right?" The third child inquired, a touch of worry in his voice.

A giggle was heard from the red-haired girl. "_Oh, believe me, she's fine. We've just worked up an appetite and since you didn't come over here to cook us dinner, we figured we'd order out. There's a flyer on the refrigerator that has a number to the place Misato-san and I like to use. Can you give me that number, please?"_

Shinji chewed his lip nervously, unsure of what the girl meant by saying they worked up an appetite, and walked over to the refrigerator to give her the number. "So what's going on over there, Asuka-chan?"

Another giggle was heard and Asuka said in a soft tone, "_Mmm, Rei-chan… not while I'm on the phone!"_

Shinji's eyes widened and he suddenly became _very_ interested in what was going on over at the first child's apartment. "What was that?" The boy inquired, as if he hadn't heard her well.

"_Oh Rei-chan… you shouldn't touch me there while I'm on the phone! Shinji will hear us!"_ Asuka giggled as she spoke in a soft voice again, then louder, "_Oh nothing, Rei-chan was showing me a book she's reading."_

The blue-eyed boy felt his cheeks burning and he pressed the phone tighter against his ear to better hear what was going on. "Oh… that's interesting." He remarked, biting his lip nervously.

Again the German girl's voice was heard, even softer than before. "_Rei-chan, you're so talented… and Shinji-kun wonders why I call you Wonder-girl… mein Gott…"_

Making the situation ten times worse, Misato had dropped one of her beers under the table and she was bending at the waist with her posterior pointed towards the blushing pilot as she tried to grab it. His mouth was hanging open as he stared at the sight before him _and_ listened to what was going on over the phone. "Is she showing you her… violin now?" Shinji inquired in a hoarse tone.

"_Oh Rei-chan… you are _so _naughty!"_ Asuka whispered with a soft gasp. "_Oh… shoot, where did that pen go? Oh no, don't put it in there, Rei-chan! I need it to write down that number… I forgot to… oh my!"_

Misato finally grabbed onto the beer and straightened up, turned around, and saw a severely blushing third child, with a tent in his pants that looked downright painful. "Oh Shinji-kun, you naughty boy! You want to look at _these_ now?" She bent over forwards this time and wiggled her chest, and she was wearing a low-cut blouse.

Shinji let out a strangled squeak noise and promptly fainted, because at the same time, he heard Asuka saying something about getting 'licked there'. It was simply too much.

Misato giggled playfully and picked up the phone. "Asuka, is that you?"

"_Ja._ _Did we break him?"_ The German girl inquired with an evil-sounding laugh.

The major nudged the boy in the ribs and giggled when he barely let out a groan. "Looks like it. Did you get what you needed before you started teasing the poor boy?"

"_Ja._ _Danke schön. We're ordering out since Rei's got no food and the hentai didn't come cook for us."_ Asuka explained.

Misato giggled, still very drunk and still laughing at the third child's expense. "Ok, have fun, girls." She hung up and nudged Shinji again. "Shinji-kun… if you take out the trash, I'll let you ravish my body for a whole hour." She teased.

The blue-eyed boy sat up suddenly, feeling refreshed suddenly. "Wow, really?"

The major blinked in surprise then shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"

Shinji jumped up and started gathering all the trash to take out. Then he realized nobody had taken the trash out in quite some time. "Where did all this come from!" He exclaimed. Then his eyes narrowed and he wondered if he was having a waking dream again. The boy glanced up at the apartment as he tossed the last trash bag down on the ground outside. He figured he hadn't had one since the time he and Rei were being examined together, so he guessed that what he had heard was real. Or rather, he hoped.

He ran all the way back into the apartment, quickly washed his hands, and then looked around for Misato. "Hmm… did she go into her room?" Shinji blushed as he imagined the major 'preparing' herself for him, and slid open her door. The smile dropped from his face when he saw the purple-haired beauty passed out on her futon. "She tricked me." He groaned in exasperation. The young pilot sighed, figuring it was probably for the best, and then went to his own room to listen to some music and… prepare for bed.

The major woke up for a moment and called out, "Shinji-kun? It's ok, you can come in." She slurred out in a naughty tone. She raised herself up on her elbows a few long silent moments later and realized the door wasn't open anymore. "Is he still taking trash out? Well I'll just rest my eyes until he comes up… maybe I can talk him into giving me a nice massage before we go at it." She promptly passed out again, and somewhere in the back of her mind she was promising herself not to mix the hard liquor with her normal beer anymore.

* * *

Rei raised an eyebrow curiously as Asuka teased Shinji over the phone. She wondered if the third child really believed the things she was claiming the first child was doing to her or not. When her tone suddenly changed and she asked if they had 'broken him', she realized the girl was now talking to Major Katsuragi.

Afterwards, Asuka hung up and dialed the number to the delivery service and made the food order. "Damn… I just remembered I don't have any money. Do you, Rei-chan?"

"Tell them to charge it to NERV under my name. I do not carry money." The first child responded.

"Oh, ok." The red-haired girl shrugged and relayed the message. After she hung up, she groaned. "They said it'd take about 45 minutes to prepare and deliver the food."

Ayanami's stomach growled in response to that, and a moment later, Soryu's stomach answered. "Understood." The blue-haired girl responded, as if her stomach hadn't just protested the wait.

Asuka leaned back on her hands and wondered what to do to pass the time. She glanced at the closet directly across from the bed she was sitting on and an idea came to her. "Rei-chan, I would enjoy listening to you play your violin."

"Is that so?" Rei stated more than asked.

The German girl nodded and stared at the first child for over a minute, but she was simply stared back at. She was just about to get angry and say something she'd regret later when she realized why the girl wasn't playing her violin by now. "Rei-chan, play your violin for me, please?"

The blue-haired girl nodded. "Hai." She stood, walked the few steps to her closet, and picked up her violin. After taking it out of the case and spending a few moments making sure it was in tune, she sat down on the chair by the bed and considered what to play. She took a moment to glance at her hand and flexed it a few times to make sure she _would_ be able to play, and then she drew the bow across the strings.

For a moment the sound was akin to a dying cat, and then Rei paused and flexed her hand again. She drew the bow across the strings again, this time making a pleasant noise. Now that she had warmed up, she was able to actually make music.

A sad mournful song soon filled the tiny apartment, and Asuka had to fight hard not to shed tears as she listened. The red-haired girl shook her head when the music stopped. "Why such a sad song? Couldn't you have played something happy?"

The first child looked down at her violin thoughtfully. "I play what is in my heart, so that I may understand my emotions."

Asuka couldn't exactly say her heart was filled with sunshine and rainbows either, so she fell silent. Then an idea came to her. "Think of Shinji while you play, then."

Rei blinked a few times and considered that. Several minutes of thoughtful silence later, she started playing. The song seemed to suggest yearning, a little sadness, but also having hope. She stopped the song suddenly and stared at the German girl in awe. "Why do you cry, Asuka-chan?"

The red-haired girl turned her head away and sniffled. "Scheiße! I can't believe this." She grumbled, wiping at her eyes and sniffling.

The blue-haired beauty watched her silently, curiosity in her eyes.

"Why'd you have to go and play such a fucking beautiful song like that?" Asuka grumbled.

"Do you cry because you are sad?" Rei inquired, curious to understand the other girl's emotions as she struggled to understand her own.

The second child sighed and wiped her eyes dry again. "Yes. And happy. And just… in awe of that song's beauty. And if you play that again, you'll kill me."

"So you cry because you are happy _and_ sad? Shinji-kun said the same thing to me long ago… it was the first time I ever smiled for him." The blue-haired girl remarked, lost in thought as she set her violin back into its case and into the closet.

Asuka tried to think of something to say as Rei retook her former seat on the bed next to her. After several minutes of silence, the door buzzer was heard. "FOOD!" She cried, running to the door.

After they ate, drowsiness started settling in on the second child and she yawned. "It's been a long day… ready for bed?"

Rei nodded. "Hai."

The German girl eyed the uncomfortable looking concrete floor and then the much more appealing bed. "May I sleep with you?"

"Hai." The first child affirmed.

Asuka was surprised when the girl stripped off her clothes and settled under the covers. "Uh… when I said that I meant… ah…"

Rei raised an eyebrow slightly and remained silent.

The second child blinked, and then figured it couldn't hurt, as long as Shinji didn't burst in on them while they were still in bed. So she tossed her own clothes on the floor and snuggled up to the red-eyed girl under the covers. She was silent for several minutes, wondering if the girl expected something she wasn't sure she was even ready for, but then she realized that Rei had already fallen asleep. "Gut nacht (good night), Rei." Asuka murmured and closed her eyes as well.

* * *

Haha well that chapter turned out to be mostly an Asuka and Rei fest, but that's ok. Next chapter: Rei and Dr. Akagi have a little… disagreement when she is re-examined by the good doctor. And later, some Shinji-Rei goodness. Misato will make an appearance as well, because she's curious about that darn 5th child. And stuff. I think I'll save Gendo for another chapter though… because he has a big event coming up soon and he wants to be ready for it. Until then, zai jian!


	23. Venom of Violence

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: I would like to remind everyone (since it has come up several times in reviews) that blue cells are energy carrying cells containing energy released from a Super Solenoid organ. The energy pattern is blue, as it is with all angels. I figure the blue cells are actually red blood cells (corpuscles) or something very similar but rather than carrying oxygen or carbon-dioxide, they carry the energy produced by the S2 organ. When the blue blood cells are first introduced to the body, normal energy and neurotransmitter levels are interfered with, causing all manner of strange and ill-effects, but it doesn't take overly long for the body to adjust and regain homeostasis, so it's not a permanent effect.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 23: Venom of Violence

Dr. Akagi entered the infirmary and gave the first child a polite smile. "Good morning, Rei. Were you waiting long?"

"No, Akagi-dono." Rei responded softly.

Ritsuko nodded, figuring the girl would likely say that even if she had been waiting an hour or two. "Are you ready for your follow-up exam?"

"Hai." The blue-haired girl responded.

The doctor took a blood sample, intentionally causing more than the necessary amount of pain. She looked at a drop of it under a microscope while placing the rest into a machine for various chemical analyses. "The concentration of your blue blood cells has increased. Likely due to your little _outburst_ the other day."

Rei remained silent.

Ritsuko scowled. She _hated_ talking to the first child. It was the one duty she would trade even for toilet cleaning. "Have you been experiencing any of the perception difficulties that Ikari-kun reported in his last exam?"

"No, my body has long since adjusted to my Super Solenoid organ." The red-eyed girl responded. To the doctor's ears, it sounded arrogant, but it was actually her normal neutral tone.

"You and Shinji have been rather close as of late, have you not?" Dr. Akagi inquired, deviously looking for a way to hurt the girl.

"Hai." Rei responded honestly, seeing no reason to hide her relationship from the older woman.

The doctor smirked, using the clipboard she was writing notes on to hide the expression from the girl. "You should watch out for those Ikari men. I know you think you have them both wrapped around your little finger, but Shinji is cheating on you."

Dr. Akagi gave the first child a (fake) sympathetic look when she gained the girl's attention and shook her head. "Poor dear. He had sex with Ibuki-taii. Just the other day, in fact."

Instead of looking hurt or angry, the girl simply nodded. "I know."

Ritsuko was shocked. "He told you!"

"No, I did not ask him to. I sensed his energy inside her." Rei responded.

"Don't you care!" The doctor exclaimed, frustrated that her ploy to hurt Commander Ikari's favorite didn't work.

The blue-haired girl looked at the doctor, expressionless. "No. He may share his body with whomever he wishes. I am only interested in his heart."

"The Ikari men are _incapable_ of love." Ritsuko stated darkly, glaring down at the girl as she set her clipboard to the side.

"On the contrary," The first child stated, a touch of a smile pulling up the corner of her mouth as she mocked the good doctor, "They love quite deeply and passionately. It is simply that _his_ love was already given to another, and not to you." She knew that Ritsuko had been sleeping with the commander, just as six years before, her former self had known that he was sleeping with Naoko Akagi.

Dr. Akagi's eyes widened in outrage. With an animalistic snarl, she grabbed her stethoscope and snapped it around the neck of the blue-haired girl and started strangling her. She found a perverse pleasure in watching the panic in the girl's eyes as her porcelain features started turning red and purple. "You fucking doll! How dare you!" She cried as she started pulling harder as the girl's struggles became more frantic.

Rei couldn't even think, reliving the first time she died in the same manner as the doctor did her best to return her to death's embrace.

Ritsuko blinked when she saw the girl's eyes start rolling backwards and let the girl go, feeling nauseated as the rage and adrenaline receded. "Oh god… I'm just like my mother." The blonde doctor gasped, curling up on the floor against one of the medical beds and started shivering.

The first child gasped and choked for air, but remained lying on the bed where the doctor had strangled her. Her fingers tenderly touched the nasty bruise forming where the rubber tube of the stethoscope had wrapped around her neck and winced in pain.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Rei. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry." Ritsuko pleaded, still sobbing while sitting on the floor with her fingers clutching her hair in a death-grip.

Rei sat up slowly and stared at the doctor silently, before replying enigmatically, "Ayanami-san." A touch of anger was in her voice.

Dr. Akagi blinked and looked up at the girl, confused. "What?"

"I am not a doll. I am not a thing. I am Ayanami Rei. You will call me Ayanami-san from now on." The first child stated dispassionately. She _really_ hated to be called a doll, and she didn't like it how the doctor refused to use honorifics with her name, as if she were nothing.

"What does it matter? Ikari will never forgive me for what I did to you. I'll spend the rest of my, probably short life in a cell." Ritsuko grumbled. Part of her wanted to finish the job, at least then she'd have that small comfort as she rotted in jail.

"Your life is forfeit. It is now mine. I will not report you." Rei stated coldly.

Dr. Akagi stared at the girl, dumbfounded why she wouldn't report her for nearly murdering the girl. "You… aren't going to report me to Commander Ikari, Rei?"

"Ayanami-_san_." The first child corrected her immediately. She even sounded annoyed.

Ritsuko looked away, anger on her face once more. She wondered which was worse, showing the girl that much respect, or going to a jail cell and likely being executed. She huffed indignantly and rested her forehead in the heel of her hand and grumbled out, "Hai, Ayanami-san. Gomen nasai." She swallowed her pride, and it was bitter.

"Is my examination complete?" Rei inquired, as if nothing had happened.

Ritsuko shook her head. "Let me examine your neck. Next time I examine you, I'll do a pelvic exam so we can see what's going on with your S2 organ." She silently, and gently, tilted the girl's head different directions and looked at the bruise and checked the vascular status of the surrounding tissue. "Any difficulty breathing?"

"It hurts." Rei responded honestly.

Ritsuko closed her eyes and sighed. '_Am I just like my mother, or is this the effect that Ikari has on women? Have I become a murderer of children? Damn you, Gendo. Why couldn't you have _loved _me?'_ Aloud, she stated "Your airway isn't compromised and your vascular function is intact, so the pain should recede in a few hours, due to your enhanced healing."

"Understood." The first child responded evenly.

"That's it for today. You are dismissed, Re… uh… Ayanami-san." Dr. Akagi quickly turned around so the girl didn't see the evil expression on her face as she bit down her anger.

"Hai. Sayonara, Ritsuko." Rei left without another word.

Ritsuko clenched her teeth and her fists at that last dig. "That _bitch_!"

* * *

Misato walked out of her room and grabbed a beer and started toasting some bread.

"Good morning, Misato-san." Shinji called out a greeting, smiling politely.

"Morning." She replied in a grumpy tone. She sat down and sipped her beer and chewed on her toast, ignoring the third child.

The blue-eyed boy felt nervous because of how she was acting, but figured it was because she had a hangover so he didn't bother her.

Major Katsuragi felt grumpy because she had a sore muscle in her back. Though she wouldn't admit it out loud, especially now that she didn't have the luxury of blaming the whiskey, she had _really_ wanted the boy to come into her room and give her a massage… and she wouldn't have minded if things got a little kinky. She smiled inwardly and wondered if she was turning into a dirty old woman, but immediately she corrected herself by protesting that she was still young and nubile. '_After all, old woman aren't _this _perky._' She wiggled her chest and did her best to look innocent as Shinji's eyes bugged out.

"I'm working late tonight. You might want to have dinner with your girlfriends, or order out." Misato suggested, unable to refrain from teasing the boy a little even if she was grumpy that he didn't come into her room to give her a massage and… a _massage_. She stood up, brushed the crumbs off her uniform, and waved politely as she left.

"Oh uh… ok. Bye Misato-san." Shinji called out quickly. As the door was closing, the major heard him say, "Wait, girlfriends?" She could hear him sputtering but she just smiled and continued walking.

After getting to work, she greeted Hyuga as she got a cup of coffee. "So, what have you learned about the new pilot?"

Makoto adjusted his glasses as he finished typing in the commands to run the morning diagnostics. "To be honest, not much. All his records were wiped."

Misato raised an eyebrow as she sat down and frowned in thought. "Just like Ayanami's… what could SEELE be hiding?"

"The only information available, other than his name, is his birth date." The lieutenant informed her, handing over a printout with that information.

The major's blood froze as she looked at the date, the scar on her chest throbbed with phantom pains as she remembered that horrible day. "The day of Second Impact. Something just doesn't feel right about this."

"There is a little more…" Lt. Hyuga added, indicating the major should flip the page. "That's the information on his pilot training at SEELE… until yesterday, he's never tested at less than an 85 percent sync rating. Even with cores that weren't aligned for him."

Misato felt her suspicions arise. "That's impossible! Not even Asuka and Shinji tested that high until recently…"

The lieutenant shrugged, also confused. "It's possible that they doctored the results to get him into NERV headquarters." He suggested.

"A SEELE spy?" The major guessed, looking over the reports. Judging by the information they had, even with Unit 02 being aligned for Asuka, he still should have had a high enough sync rate to at least move the Eva. So something was very off.

Makoto glanced around to make sure no one else was within hearing range. "That's my guess. You should report this to Commander Ikari."

Misato shuddered slightly when he said that, remembering what happened the last time a spy had come up between her and the commander. '_Will I now be stained with the blood of a child?'_ What bothered her even more than being ordered to execute her own lover for being a spy was the fact that she knew the commander had known about the man's double-agent status long before he had ordered the man's execution. Kaji had stated as much when he showed her Adam in Terminal Dogma. So either he had discovered something he wasn't supposed to, or the commander was testing her loyalty. Either way, she didn't like it. "I'll take care of it." The major informed him, glancing up at the observation deck even though she knew he was likely in his office.

She sighed, steeled her nerves, and made her way up to the Supreme Commander's office and knocked on the door. A few moments later, the commander's voice came over an intercom, telling her to enter. She walked forward and stood at attention. "Sir." The major waited patiently for the man to tell her to proceed.

Gendo stared down at some reports, intentionally making the woman wait longer. Finally he signed one of them and closed the manila envelope and looked up at the purple-haired beauty. "Proceed, major."

Misato laid the reports that Makoto had given her on the commander's desk. "Sir, I have reason to believe that the fifth child is actually a SEELE spy, and not even a valid pilot."

The commander looked at the reports, his face betraying nothing. "This is his sync test results from yesterday?" He inquired, frowning at the results.

"Yes sir. Given his supposed past performance, he should have had a much higher sync ratio, even with the core still being aligned for Pilot Soryu." Misato explained, though the results spoke for themselves.

The commander flipped through the papers, though he was already familiar with most of the material. "And it is your belief that the fifth child's results have been doctored to gain him access to this facility?"

"Yes sir." Misato agreed.

"To what end?" Gendo inquired. "SEELE would have known we would have tested with Unit 02 him soon after his arrival. If he was sent here as a spy and he could not produce these results, they would have known he'd be exposed immediately."

The major considered that thoughtfully. "I'm not sure, sir. The only other explanation is that Unit 02 purposely rejected Nagisa, in the same manner that it rejected Pilot Ikari. Which is also a possibility. But even so, it still stands to reason that he is a spy."

The commander folded his hands in front of his face and fell silent. After some consideration, he ordered, "Given his inability to sync with Unit 02, and the status of Unit 01, we have no reason to assign him any clearance higher than reserve pilot status. His access to NERV will be limited and monitored. He is to receive clearance ahead of time before visiting NERV headquarters, and his movements here will be closely monitored. Should he prove a problem, I expect you to handle the matter personally."

Misato was afraid he'd say that. "Yes sir."

"While I am on that subject, your method to handle the Ryoji situation was satisfactory." Gendo informed her in a knowing tone.

The major blinked in surprise. "S-sir?"

"Quite ingenius, really. Medically induced amnesia. Akagi-dono is very good at her work." The commander stated cryptically.

Misato paled, wondering if the man was really impressed with her careful interpretation of his orders, or if he was only pretending to be while preparing her for a similar fate. "Yes sir, she is."

Commander Ikari stared at her silently for several minutes, ignoring how nervous and uncomfortable she looked, or possibly enjoying her discomfort. "Before I dismiss you… how has Shinji been?"

The purple-haired beauty blinked in surprise. She could count on one hand the number of times he inquired about his son since he moved in with her. Actually, she would still have a few fingers remaining. "He is well. To be honest, I think he's coming out of his shell."

Gendo's expression didn't change. "Explain."

She sighed. This was the bad part about taking over guardianship of someone's child… especially when the parent was someone like Gendo Ikari. "His relationships with his fellow pilots has improved greatly in the past few weeks. It appears they may even be friends."

"Only friends?" The commander inquired, in the same statement/question tone Rei often used. It was likely from him that she picked up her mannerisms, of course.

Misato coughed nervously. "Perhaps more than friends."

"Are you implying, major, that my son is romantic with one of his fellow pilots?" Gendo inquired in a mysterious tone that could have been annoyance, acceptance, or amusement. How he pulled it off, only he knew.

Major Katsuragi started to sweat. "Yes sir."

Then she received the question that she was dreading the moment the subject came up. "Which pilot is my _son_ fraternizing with?" The commander asked, or perhaps demanded.

Misato really started to sweat now. He seemed angry, but the commander was always difficult to read. "To be honest, at first I wasn't sure. I thought he and Soryu were getting romantic, but that doesn't seem to be the case. However… I can tell he is rather… smitten with Ayanami."

Commander Ikari was silent for well over five minutes. Her report basically confirmed what he already suspected, from his own observations of his two children. "Are you encouraging this romance, major?" He finally asked. Judging by her wince, he knew the answer already.

"Yes sir." The purple-haired beauty replied sheepishly.

"Explain your reasons." Gendo commanded.

Misato bit her lip nervously. "The primary reason being Shinji's mental state. As I said before, he seems much happier now. He also seems much stronger than before. Braver, even. Furthermore, Pilot Ayanami's Eva is irreparably damaged, so I see no consequences outside of normal romance ones coming up. They won't be fighting Angels together anymore, so there is no chance of it affecting their judgment."

"And if their relationship ends badly? Given Unit 01's tendency to berserk, coupled with it's acquisition of a Super Solenoid cell, if Pilot Ikari's mental state is damaged by such an event, it will jeopardize us all." Commander Ikari stated.

The major nodded. "Yes sir. That is a risk. However, Pilot Soryu's mental health has been improving lately due to her psychological treatments and her improving social interactions with her fellow pilots. Her sync ratio is steadily returning to normal, she is much happier now than I have seen her in a long time, and we may not _need_ to take Unit 01 out of Cryo-lockdown with only one Angel left. Furthermore, I believe the benefits of a relationship for Shinji's mental state far outweigh the risks. Sir."

Gendo considered her words for several more minutes, then asked "And if I ordered you to inform them they were no longer to see one another?"

Misato sighed, visually deflating. "I would protest, but I would comply to your orders, of course."

The commander let her sweat over it for several more minutes, and then nodded. "Understood. Good work, major."

Major Katsuragi blinked in surprise, unsure if he meant what she thought he meant. "So… I don't have to order them to stop seeing one another?"

"Correct. Despite my personal feelings on the matter, I have also noticed improvements in Shinji's attitude. And I have already spoken with Rei on the matter, and she convinced me that her feelings for Shinji would cause no problems from her." Gendo admitted.

For a moment she wasn't sure why the commander would have a personal objection to their relationship, and then she remembered that the girl was raised by the commander. It must have seemed like his children were having an incestuous affair, to him. She mentally went '_Blah!'_ as she thought of that, but figured it didn't matter to the children since they were raised separately and had no genetic ties. She assumed. '_Unless she really _is _his daughter… ew!'_ She shook off that thought before responding. "Yes sir, thank you sir."

"Dismissed, major." Gendo ordered, turning his attention back to his paperwork.

"Thank you sir." Misato left, feeling like the weight of the world was taken off her shoulders the moment she exited his office. She leaned back against the door and let out a long "Phew!"

* * *

Shinji pressed the buzzer on Rei's apartment door. After he finished breakfast he realized the girls might be hungry and not have anything to eat so he had rushed to the market to pick up some groceries, and then he ran all the way to the first child's apartment, lugging the heavy bag. He waited a few minutes and then cautiously opened the door. "Ah… Rei-chan? Asuka-chan? I brought breakfast. I rang the buzzer but I don't even know if it works." He waited a few moments for an answer, but when he received none, he entered the apartment and set the bag down on the counter, kicked his shoes off, and walked through the short hallway into the bedroom area. He peeked into the room, ready to apologize if they were sleeping, but frowned when he didn't see anyone. "Oh… did they leave already?"

The third child sighed and sat down on the chair near the bed, wondering where his fellow pilots could have gone. "Maybe they went out to breakfast?" He wondered aloud.

A few moments later he heard a sound coming from the entrance hallway and turned to look, figuring Rei had just come home. Instead, he saw Asuka walking into the room while toweling her hair, nude. His mouth dropped open in shock and his cheeks started burning in embarrassment. He tried to apologize, but he squeaked instead. He tried to turn his head away, but his neck refused to cooperate.

The red-haired girl dropped the towel down around her shoulders and blinked in surprise when she saw the young Ikari staring at her. "Shinji-kun? What are you doing here?"

"I… I… breakfast… brought… door… I thought… uh… I didn't… I mean… uh…" Shinji was completely flustered.

"What's your problem?" Asuka inquired, surprised at how he was reacting.

"You're uh… and you're not… you know… and… huh?" The blue-eyed boy blushed, wondering if it was the apartment that made girls so immodest.

The German girl looked at the boy as if he had grown a third eye, but then her gaze traveled down to see what he was looking at. "Pervert!" She cried, turning around and her skin flushed as dark as her hair.

Shinji looked away politely. "Why are you calling _me_ the pervert when you were the one coming in here naked? Then just _standing_ there? I can't help looking at a beautiful girl."

Asuka blushed at the compliment and started dressing. "I guess it's ok if you look. I thought I heard a sound in here but I thought Rei-chan had come back already."

The third child blinked in surprise then turned back to look at the girl as she pulled on some panties. The blush crept back into his cheeks but he kept his comments to himself, because he wanted to live. And he didn't want the girl to turn violent on him. "She went somewhere?"

The second child nodded, turning around after putting her bra on and picked up a bright yellow shirt that she had worn the day before then pulled on a pair of jeans. "To NERV. I think Frau Doktor Akagi wanted to do a follow-up exam on her."

"Oh." Shinji responded, realizing that made sense. "I have one of those tomorrow. Um… have you eaten yet? And do you think Rei-chan will come back wanting breakfast?"

Asuka grinned. "Ah, Zimmer mit Frühstück (bed and breakfast)… I should spend the night with Rei-chan more often. She might get something at NERV, but I don't know. You should cook enough for her just in case."

The third child nodded and walked into the entrance hallway to turn on the stove and started to cook. "I picked up some eggs and bacon for you, and some miso and tofu for Rei-chan, is that all right?"

Asuka turned a slight shade of green as she remembered Rei informing her that eggs were chicken menses. She still couldn't shake that thought out of her head. "Uh… bacon is fine. And maybe I'll try some of that miso that you Japanese love so much."

The blue-eyed boy blinked and looked at the red-haired girl, surprised she turned down eggs. She hadn't turned down eggs the entire time he had known her. "Sure you don't want an omelet?"

"I said no, baka!" The German girl cried, shivering in revulsion. "Why'd Rei have to go and call eggs that! I love eggs." She sniffled pitifully.

Shinji brought some crispy bacon and a bowl of miso with tofu to the table and set it in front of the girl along with a glass of orange juice. "Here you go, Asuka-chan."

The second child chewed on a slice of bacon and made an mmm sound. "You're getting pretty liberal with those chans."

The third child paled, as he had not even realized he had been doing it. "Oh! Gomen nasai… I didn't mean to be so…"

"Nein! That's not what I meant, dummkopf. I like it. Rei-chan likes it too. Don't stop." Asuka interrupted.

"Ah… h-hai, Asuka-chan. Arigato." Shinji blushed in embarrassment.

"Speaking of Rei-chan… how do you feel about her?" The girl inquired, raising an eyebrow curiously as she took a sip of the miso soup then made a weird face as she looked at it. "You people eat this stuff all the time?" She asked skeptically.

"Hai. You probably should have had it before the bacon." The blue-eyed boy replied. He waited a few moments as she took another sip and shrugged, waving her hand to indicate she was indifferent about it. "Ah… Rei-chan… she's… well… I… ah…" He blushed.

Asuka quirked an eyebrow up. "Oh, just spit it out already!" She griped. "You blow a synapse or something!"

The young Ikari blushed some more and glanced away from the girl. "I care about her. She's… you know. I really like her."

"What about me?" The red-haired girl inquired. She couldn't help but ask, though she hadn't intended to. She told Rei she wouldn't cause problems, and she really wasn't trying to but… she was insecure. And she needed to know where she fit into all this.

"Nani? Ah… well… I care about you too, Asuka-chan." The boy explained.

"So you want us both?" Asuka asked, finishing off her soup to hide the smile that formed on her lips as the boy started sputtering.

"It's not like that! I care about you both. But… I don't know. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings." Shinji visually deflated. He realized that if he pursued either girl, the other would likely be hurt. And, when he was being honest with himself, he wanted to pursue Rei. Desperately. '_But sometimes, you have to put aside your own desires for the good of others.'_ Shinji thought, hating that part of honor.

The red-haired girl blinked. "Wait, so you're saying you're not going to date either one of us?"

The third child felt depression settle over his heart. "I… suppose not."

Asuka threw her hands up in exasperation. "You are _hopeless_! What is it with you people? I'll never understand you." She sighed, noticing the boy looked ready to crawl somewhere dark and cry his heart out. "Well if you're not going to date her, then I will. Idiot!"

Shinji blinked. Even after the girl's teasing last night, which he felt sure she was making up, that statement still shocked him. "You and… Rei-chan?"

"Why not?" The red-haired girl leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms and gave the boy a haughty glare. "Someone has to kiss that poor girl if you won't."

"So… everyone is going to have someone but me?" The boy complained, wishing he were dead. Or at least in a coma or something.

"It's your own damn fault. Maybe _you_ should see Dr. Kagame. Maybe then you'd realize that if you want to kiss a girl, then kiss her! If you don't, then don't complain about it! Ach! Silly boys." She rolled her eyes and shook her head sadly.

"But I can't just kiss Rei-chan like that…" Shinji complained pitifully.

"And why ever not?" The red-haired girl inquired skeptically.

The third child let out a sigh and wondered when his life had become so complicated. Though, he knew the answer was the moment he arrived in Tokyo-3. "Because! It would hurt your feelings! And what if Rei-chan doesn't _want_ me to kiss her? I can't just force myself on her!"

"Why the hell would it hurt _my_ feelings, dummkopf! It's not _my_ feelings you should be concerned over anyway, it's yours and hers! Besides, if she doesn't want you to kiss her, she won't let you. Or she'll tell you to never do it again if you do manage to land your lips on hers if she doesn't want it. You're going batshit over this girl. You owe it to yourself to at least give her the choice. Mein Gott! What did you _ever_ do without me!" Asuka ranted.

Shinji blinked. "It wouldn't hurt your feelings?"

"What the hell did I say to you just the other day? All I care about is that you're still my friend. That's all I want from either one of you. Anything beyond that is just bonus, as far as I'm concerned." The German girl rolled her eyes. She liked how passive and submissive the boy could be, but she thought he was taking it too far if he denied himself of his own happiness simply to please others.

Shinji was silent for a while then he nodded. "I'll think about it."

"Good. I have some weapons training in my Eva in a little while, so I'll leave you alone. Rei-chan will probably be back soon so maybe you should wait for her." Asuka suggested. She impulsively kissed the boy on the cheek as she left. "See you later, dummkopf!"

Shinji sighed, more confused than ever. He looked around nervously, uncomfortable with being in Rei's home, essentially uninvited. He didn't know whether he should stay or leave. Would it be running away, as he always did, if he left? Or would it be respecting the sanctity of the quiet blue-haired girl's home? He sighed again and walked over to Rei's dresser and looked at the books stacked there. One of the books in particular caught his attention. "The Tale of Genji?" He read the title aloud, surprised the quiet girl was reading a novel with themes of love and lust.

He picked the book up and sat down and started to read. He once read a little bit of the classic Japanese novel in school when he was 12, but at the time he wasn't terribly interested in it. He had found the descriptions of court life incredibly dull and considered Genji to be an over-sexed fiend. But now he wondered whether or not his youthful assessment was correct.

Before he was even halfway done with the first story, Rei entered her apartment and frowned when she smelled the lingering scent of bacon. "Asuka-chan?" She called, walking into the bedroom area and stopping suddenly when she saw Shinji sitting on her bed and reading one of her books. "Shinji-kun?"

Shinji blinked and blushed in embarrassment, feeling as if he had been caught with his hand in the cookie-jar. "Oh! I'm sorry, Rei-chan. I didn't hear you come in." He sheepishly replaced the book on her dresser and scratched the back of his head nervously. "I came earlier to cook breakfast for you and Asuka-chan. She told me you went to see Akagi-dono for a medical exam… she went into headquarters for training. I didn't know whether I should stay or leave…"

Rei blinked a few times. The third child had spoken rather quickly due to his nervousness so she had difficulty following it. She nodded once. "You are welcome in my home any time, Shinji-kun." She walked back into her entranceway and asked, "Is this miso soup for me?"

"Hai." Shinji replied, still feeling guilty for invading her home and her personal possessions. "Shall I pour it for you?"

"Sit." The first child commanded gently, pulling a bowl out of her cabinet and pouring the soup herself. "Have you already eaten?" She inquired politely.

"Yes but I could have some more soup. Ah, I'll get it." He started to say, getting up nervously.

"Sit." Rei commanded again in the same tone as before, pouring a second bowl to finish the soup off. She brought both bowls in and set them down, one in front of the third child and one for herself. Then she sat down and poured water for them both out of a pitcher that was on the table. "Thank you for cooking breakfast, Shinji-kun." The girl stated politely as she sipped the warm soup.

Shinji blushed. "It was nothing. Oh, I bought some pickles too. I'll go get them." He started getting up.

"Sit." The first child commanded again, a touch of a smile came to her lips. She was actually amused. She got up and fetched the pickled vegetables herself.

Shinji smiled sheepishly after the girl sat back down. He was not accustomed to being served like this, but it felt nice. Very nice. "We should get you a rice-steamer, Rei-chan."

The first child glanced at the opening behind her leading to her foyer and then back at the third child. She remained silent.

Shinji blinked. Then he realized what she was thinking. "Not enough room for a rice-steamer. I wasn't thinking. Gomen, Rei-chan."

Amusement touched the blue-haired girl's lips again. She felt… happy? Comfortable? Both, perhaps? "You are accustomed to a larger apartment, Shinji-kun." She stated simply.

"Hai…" The boy sipped some soup, and tried to think of something to say. "Did your exam go well?" He inquired, figuring that if she was unhealthy she wouldn't be going to such pains to serve him. But he still needed to hear the words.

Rei paused thoughtfully. "I am healthy." She replied enigmatically.

Shinji was confused why she answered that way, rather than simply saying yes. Then he noticed the bruise on her neck. "Rei-chan? What happened to your neck?"

The first child brought her fingers up to her bruised neck self-consciously. "Do not worry yourself over it, Shinji-kun."

That really got him concerned. He stood up and walked around the table and got a closer look, ignoring the blush that crept into the girl's cheeks at his proximity. "It goes all the way around! Like you were… strangled. By a cord or…" Shinji's mind put what happened together. Doctor visit… cord or tube-shaped bruise around her neck. "A stethescope. I'll kill her." He turned and started stomping towards the door, murder in his eyes.

Rei quickly moved in front of the third child and placed a hand gently against his chest to get him to wait. "The matter has been resolved, Shinji-kun. Akagi's life is now her debt to me. Stay."

The third child still felt anger burning in his veins. How anyone could harm the gentle soft-spoken girl was beyond him. "But she hurt you. I have to make her pay…"

"Shinji-kun." The first child spoke softly, as always. But she looked him in the eye, hoping he saw the resolve there. By the uncertainty that crossed his features, she was sure he did. "I handled it. If you harm her, you will make a liar of me. You will bring dishonor upon me. Do you understand?" She hated saying this much, but she had to make her point.

Honor was something he did understand. Shinji sighed and nodded. If her word was given, he had to respect it, even if he didn't like it. The third child raised a hand to tenderly brush a thumb over the bruise, concern in his eyes. He saw no discomfort in her face so he reasoned that the pain was gone and the bruise would likely also disappear soon.

Rei stayed silent and dropped her arm back to her side slowly, her eyes never leaving Shinji's.

The third child's fingers moved up to gently caress the blue-haired girl's porcelain cheek. He couldn't help himself, now that he was this close. He stared into the girl's red eyes, which seemed to burn like flames, and he was a simple moth being drawn to them. He swallowed nervously, tenderly brushing his fingers over the first child's cheek. She was not pushing him away, or telling him to stop.

The first child watched Shinji. She desperately fought the urge to flutter her eyelids when he touched her cheek, afraid that if she broke eye contact that he would retreat. She remembered all the times she heard him chanting to himself that he mustn't run away, and she mentally chanted it with him this time. '_Don't run away! Don't run away!'_

Shinji licked his lips nervously, feeling as if his mouth was drying out. He desperately wanted to just swoop in and kiss the blue-haired beauty, but fear that he would startle her kept him moving slow. His hand moved through the girl's silky blue hair and his eyes dropped to stare at her moist inviting lips. He didn't even notice when the girl's eyelids finally fluttered.

If the third child was capable of thought at that moment, he'd be chanting to himself '_I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!'_ But he wasn't. There were no words. No thoughts. The world stopped. Nothing else existed.

Shinji's eyes moved back up to the red orbs before him, seeing nothing but acceptance there. He took a breath, feeling faint because he had forgotten to breathe for… he didn't know how long. Finally he leaned in closer and noticed the first child did not pull away. Instead, she just raised her head slightly since the boy was a little taller than her. After what seemed an eternity, their lips met. Shinji felt like he had died and gone straight to heaven on those soft warm lips. He leaned in more, wrapping his arms around the girl's slender shoulders, kissing her with passion he wasn't even aware he was capable of. It felt like… home.

Eventually, he had to break the kiss and look once more into Rei's burning red eyes. He would have liked to kiss her forever, but he had seemingly forgotten how to breathe so he had to stop the kiss so he could remember. He blinked in surprise. "Rei-chan… why do you cry?" Shinji inquired, worry in his voice.

Rei blinked and felt a tear slide down her cheek and drip off her chin. "I am…" She paused, attempting to figure out what the emotion was. Finally, she knew the answer. She looked back into the third child's eyes. "I am happy."

Shinji closed his eyes in relief. He was almost positive she would say she was sad and that he shouldn't kiss her again. Which would end his world. He shook his head slightly and gave the girl a gentle smile. "Then smile."

Rei blinked a few times, and then she smiled.

* * *

Bwahahahah! Who is the Mistress of Sappiness! Me! Haha. Now I _could_ end the story there… and in a way it would even be complete. However, I have some more of their story to tell! Sure, love stories can end on a first kiss… but to me, that's just when they start getting good. Muahahah! So I will continue. Of course, since you all have become so accustomed to these quick updates, I'll have to take a year off or so... just kidding. Haha Next chapter: Shinji feels a little guilty about what he did with Maya so he handles it in the best way he can… by talking to his father! Eep! Actually he has a better reason to talk to ol' Gendo. See Gendo didn't like it when I said he wanted to take a break, he felt that made him sound weak, so he decided to insert himself into this chapter AND the next one. What a ham! Rei will be around, of course. Kaoru will pop up a tad, because he's nosy. Beyond that, we'll see. Until then, may all your first kisses be sappy and joyous! And stuff.


	24. The Bitterest of Ironies

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Ah that Gendo… managing to be a nice guy and a self-serving bastard at the same time. Gotta love him. hehe

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 24: The Bitterest of Ironies

Shinji simply held Rei for a long time, feeling comfort and peace in his soul from the closeness. But guilt was tugging at the back of his consciousness, and it was ruining his happy moment. The guilt stemmed from a lot of things. A number of them he didn't even want to think about.

The blue-haired girl sensed the turmoil in the third child and leaned back from his embrace and looked into his eyes. She wasn't sure what was bothering him, but she could tell it was important. "Shinji-kun?"

The blue-eyed boy nearly winced. Even though she spoke in her normal soft tone, he could sense the depth of emotion in her words. He couldn't do this. Not yet. There were some things he had to do first, as a matter of honor. "I need to speak to Father." He offered as explanation for his agitated emotions.

The first child nodded. She didn't understand why he felt the way he did about the elder Ikari, but she accepted it as she accepted him for all his weaknesses and strengths. "Hai." She replied simply.

Had he said that to Asuka, she would have demanded to know why. Rei, however, accepted it. He wasn't sure if it was because she was accustomed to not receiving explanations, or if it was because she trusted him. He hoped it was the latter, even though he didn't feel like he deserved her trust. Or anyone's, for that matter. "Is it all right if I come back here afterwards? I… would like to spend some more time with you."

The red-eyed girl politely stepped back to give the boy room to leave. "Hai. You may come and go in my home as you please. You need no invitation."

Shinji blinked a few times, confused. "Arigato, Rei-chan. Ah… I meant to ask, does your door buzzer work? Whenever I press it, I don't hear anything."

Rei glanced at the door. "It does, but you do not need to press it. Simply enter. You do not need an invitation." She repeated.

The third child's mouth dropped open in surprise. He was about to protest, but something about the way the girl was looking at him made him keep his tongue. "Hai… arigato, Rei-chan. I will not abuse your trust." He bowed slightly and said good-bye, and left.

He was lost in thought as he made his way into and through NERV headquarters. Sooner than he would have liked, he stood once more in front of his father's office. The third child took a deep breath to steel his nerves, and then knocked on the door.

A few moments later, the stern voice of Gendo Ikari came over the intercom. "What is it, Pilot Ikari?"

Shinji flexed his hands nervously, a little hurt that the man was so formal. "Father, I need to speak to you."

After waiting nearly a minute, the commander replied stiffly. "Enter."

The third child let out a breath he had been holding and walked into the office and then forward until he stood before the commander's desk. He hated each and every step that it took to walk through the large room. He stared down at his feet for a few moments then looked up, hoping to see a more open expression than he was accustomed to. However, he was disappointed as he was greeted by the familiar stern, seemingly disapproving glare that almost always originated from the elder Ikari. "Good morning, father."

"Get to the point, Ikari. I do _not_ have all day." Gendo commanded.

Apprehension and shame filled Shinji's mind and he struggled to find the words he needed to say. He took several deep breaths to calm his nerves then looked the commander in the eye, something he very rarely did. "How did I die, father?"

Commander Ikari frowned, though not for the reasons the boy assumed. "You don't remember? Rei recalled her death shortly after she was told."

Shinji's brow furrowed as he tried to remember, though large portions of his life seemed to be missing. He always assumed the long boring stretches of time he lived with his teacher accounted for the gaps, but now he wondered if it was because of his death. "Was it… when mother... died?"

"No. What do you remember about the last time we visited your mother's grave? Not the time a few months ago, but the one before that." Gendo inquired, attempting to prod the boy's memory.

The third child narrowed his eyes in confusion and tried to remember. "I remember… crying. Placing flowers on her grave. I remember running away from you. It was a week before I was found. I don't remember that much." The boy admitted.

The commander was silent for a while, giving the younger Ikari time to remember more, but he was waiting for his father to fill in the details. "It was over three months after we visited your mother's grave that you ran away, Shinji."

"What!" The blue-eyed boy cried, shocked. "No! After we got home I… ran away! I couldn't understand why you could be so cold and unfeeling over her death!"

"So you don't remember being shot." Gendo stated more than asked.

Shinji stared down at his feet, searching his memory. He turned his gaze to his right hand and flexed it several times, a habit he seemed to have for longer than he could remember.

Commander Ikari waited patiently then offered another clue. "Looking at your hand doesn't spark your memory?"

The third child gasped and clutched his temples as flashes of memory seared through his brain. "No! Stop it!" He cried, dropping to his knees as the fear overcame him.

"Do not ask for information if you are not ready to receive it, Ikari." Gendo stated coldly.

"That's not what I mean!" Shinji cried, shaking his head. "The memory… it just came too fast. I still feel the pain…"

"So you remember, then." The commander said with a touch of compassion in his voice.

The young pilot sighed and nodded. "You were shot too?"

"Yes." Gendo replied emotionlessly. "The first bullet passed through me and into your right hand. The second went into your chest."

Shinji stood up slowly and stared at his hand, then raised his gaze to look into his father's eyes. "You tried to save me." He stated with wonder in his voice.

"Yes." Commander Ikari affirmed. He had indeed put himself in front of Shinji when the shooter fired at them. The first bullet bad passed through his abdomen and went through the boy's hand. The younger Ikari had fallen away from the protective shield of his father's body and was hit by the second bullet. "It was a religious zealot. The brother of a former employee of Gehirn on Project E."

The third child nodded, remembering now. "He was screaming that the Angels were messengers of God and that mankind deserved to be destroyed by them for our sins. He said something about what we were doing was blasphemy."

"Correct." Gendo responded.

"Who was he?" Shinji inquired, his tone darkening.

"It is not necessary for you to have that information. He was dealt with." The commander replied.

The blue-eyed boy remembered. His father had emptied an entire clip from a pistol into the shooter. He still remembered the anguished and enraged cries. He even remembered his father crying over him as he died… a shocking revelation.

But the shooter seemed familiar somehow. After a few moments of consideration, similar features came into his mind. Shinji's eyes widened in shock. "Was he… Asuka's father!"

"No." Gendo replied. For a few tense moments, he considered remaining silent. But, he figured the boy had already made the connection. "Her uncle. He was the brother of Soryu's mother, who worked on Project E until she lost her touch with reality."

The young Ikari stared down at the floor. For a moment, he felt anger towards the red-haired German girl, but he quickly realized she had nothing to do with it. Hating her would only be a cowardly escape, and he was sick of those. "I see."

Commander Ikari was silent for a while but then spoke up. "Will that be all?"

Shinji nearly said yes and ran away, but stopped himself. "No sir. I had another matter to discuss with you."

"Proceed." Gendo said, nearly telling the boy to make it quick but he didn't, this time.

The third child took a very deep breath and closed his eyes for a few moments, summoning up his courage. "Does Rei… are her parents still alive?"

Commander Ikari stared at his son silently.

"I mean… well… I need to know, father. Gomen." Shinji stared down at the floor.

The commander frowned. He had a feeling he knew why his son wanted to know that information. "Pilot Ayanami has no living blood relatives. I am her legal guardian, as you already knew."

"Yes sir." The blue-eyed boy agreed. "I just assumed that perhaps she still had some family, somewhere."

"Is there a reason you require this information, Shinji?" Gendo inquired.

Shinji clenched his hands then raised his gaze up, giving his father as brave a look as he could muster. "Yes sir. I wish to court Rei. Since you are her legal guardian… I respectfully ask your permission, sir."

Commander Ikari was shocked, but he didn't allow himself to show it. He was silent for several minutes as he ordered his thoughts. "You want _my_ permission to court Rei." He stated more than questioned.

"Yes sir." The younger Ikari affirmed.

Gendo was silent once again. He really did not want to have this conversation. "You realize that as Rei is my legal ward, you are essentially her brother."

Distress showed on Shinji's face. He hadn't realized that, or even considered it. "But we're not blood related." Was the boy's evasive response.

The commander considered how to respond to that. Technically, the girl was born from a combination of Ikari Yui's and Lilith's DNA, but she was more Lilith than Yui. It was necessary, because Yui's soul was trapped in Unit 01, so Rei had to either house Lilith's soul or develop one of her own. He didn't really want to lie to his son, but he couldn't tell him the truth either. "You share a certain kinship due to your Adam DNA and her Lilith DNA." It was the truth, just not the whole truth.

The young pilot considered that then shrugged. "Do we know for sure that Adam and Lilith were related? Even if they are, it doesn't matter. Genetics is only important in this case if children are involved. Rei-chan cannot bear children."

"And has that entered into your consideration, Shinji? If you court her, there is a good chance you may one day marry her. Do you really want to marry a girl that cannot give you children? Especially given the sharp decrease in birth rates since the Second Impact?" It was a dirty tactic, Gendo knew, but still a valid one.

"I don't care." Shinji replied bravely. "If we want a child, we could always adopt. Or, we could figure something else out. We may not even survive, if the last angel succeeds in causing Third Impact. What point is there in worrying about the distant future right now? I care about Rei very much. I won't let something like that stop me from attempting a relationship with her."

Commander Ikari had one last dirty trick up his sleeve that he was willing to play. "And if I refuse to allow you to court her?"

The third child immediately looked crestfallen. "Then… I would be honor-bound to obey your wishes. If not for my own sake, then for hers."

"Then I…" Gendo was interrupted by his son, a shocking event in and of itself.

"However, if you do allow me to court her, I will be in your debt." Shinji stated, using his own stratagem.

The commander was silent for a few moments as he considered that. "And how would you repay that debt?"

The younger Ikari considered that. He knew a way, but he hated it. Oh how he hated it. "I… will forgive you."

"For what, exactly?" Gendo inquired, curious.

Shinji gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists. Then he let out a long deep breath. "For everything."

"Including using the Dummy Plug, which resulted in the death of the fourth child?" The commander inquired skeptically.

The blue-eyed boy hated responding to that. But he had to. "Yes sir."

"And for abandoning you to concentrate on my work after your mother… was taken from us?" Gendo could never say that Yui died. To himself, or to others. Her soul was still alive in Unit 01, and he would reunite with her after Third Impact, therefore, she was only temporarily lost to them. He refused to see it any other way.

Shinji stared at the floor.

The elder Ikari waited patiently.

The third child sighed and nodded. "Yes sir."

Gendo was silent again for a while, considering that. Most of the rebelliousness in Rei towards him stemmed from Shinji. She was angry about how he betrayed and abandoned the boy and how he treated the third child at present, and she would also be angry if he refused to allow her to have a romantic relationship with him. Gaining his son's forgiveness and giving his permission to court the first child would regain him the girl's devotion and ensure no problems in achieving his plans for Third Impact. Despite his own personal qualms over the relationship, he couldn't ask for a better deal. "You have my permission to court Rei." Before the boy could react to the news, the commander added to it. "I give you this warning, however. If you hurt her, son or no, I _will_ have my revenge. Do we understand one another?"

"Yes sir." Shinji replied respectfully, joy singing in his heart.

"Is there anything else that you require, Shinji?" Gendo inquired, ready to get back to his work.

The younger Ikari bit his lip nervously. "Yes sir. One final thing. Some advice? Not that long ago… I had an… encounter with another woman. I feel terrible about it, even though Rei-chan and I were not in a relationship at that time. Should I… tell her?"

"Yes." The commander replied immediately.

"Oh…" Shinji frowned thoughtfully. He hadn't expected his father to reply that way… or as quickly as he had.

"Rei does not like to be lied to. Complete honesty is far safer, with her, than lying to protect her feelings. Furthermore, if something is bothering you, she will notice. She is very… observant." Gendo elaborated.

The third child was surprised. "Rei is?"

"Sensitive, as well. You hadn't noticed?" The commander asked, surprise entering his voice. He wondered how well the boy could really know his precious Rei if this was the case.

Shinji blushed in embarrassment. "Well she seems so… quiet and reserved. And she often seems to be in her own world. She daydreams a lot in school. Or at least, I think she's daydreaming. I never would have realized she was observant… from what I've seen."

"She notices a lot more than she normally lets on. And, normally only with those she cares for. Perhaps you don't know her as well as you think you do." Gendo observed.

Shinji nodded. "I am learning, though. What I do know is that I care about her very deeply. And that is enough for now."

Commander Ikari was surprised. "Shinji… you've changed."

The third child blushed in embarrassment. "Misato-san has said the same thing several times, especially lately."

Gendo nodded. "I am… proud of you. Son." The commander wasn't sure if Shinji was more surprised by those words, or if he himself was.

"F…father?" Shinji beamed, happiness radiating from him at the praise. He remembered when he told Misato that he felt he piloted Eva simply to hear those words from his father. Strangely, it was something unrelated to his pilot status that finally earned that praise.

"If that is all, you are dismissed. I have a lot of work to do, and talking with you has put me behind schedule." Gendo stated gruffly.

Shinji bowed as he started leaving. "Thank you, father! Gomen nasai, I didn't mean to keep you so long. Goodbye!" He ran off, with a permanent smile seemingly plastered on his face.

Commander Ikari shook his head, still surprised. "All the women I placed around you… and it was the girl I consider a daughter to be the one to make you into a man I can be proud of. Fate is the bitterest of ironies." He mused aloud before returning to his work.

* * *

Asuka grumbled as she entered Misato's apartment. "Fire again, Asuka. Fire faster, Asuka. Reload, Asuka. Why are you missing, Asuka? Mein Gott, even _I'm_ not perfect!" The girl grumbled, wondering why Major Katsuragi had seemed so pissed off today. Her performance that day was well in line with her past showings, perhaps not her very best but well enough.

The girl walked into the kitchen and looked around. "And that fucking Kaji… what's his problem? Here I am, young, nubile, beautiful, sexy as hell, and he doesn't even look at me! But he turns into a drooling monkey when Misato walks in!"

She growled and started doing a mock version of Kaji's voice, "Oh, that Misa-chan! She's so nice, isn't she? She's so pretty! You could learn a lot from her, Asuka-chan! Sie hat ja Titten wie Melonen! (She has breasts like melons) Ach!" She spat on the floor in disgust. "Who wants Hängetitten (droopy breasts) like those old bags when they could have firm young ones like these in their hands!"

The second child kicked the wall, venting her frustration. "And where the fuck is he! He didn't even see me before he went off to wherever he is! Arrogant selfish son of a…" She kicked Misato's door and her foot went right through it. "AAH! Stupid paper doors! Fucking Japanese can't even have proper wooden doors like everyone else in the world!" She cried, swearing as she pulled her leg out and winced as pain shot through it. "Oh great, now I've got a big scratch on my beautiful perfectly formed leg!"

Asuka huffed and plopped down on the ground with a wet paper towel to clean the wound. She glanced at the hole in the door and felt embarrassed from her outburst. "So that's what Dr. Kagame said about me not handling my frustrations very well…" She contemplated the hole for a few minutes then grabbed a pen and paper and wrote out "Sorry! I tripped!" She giggled as she put that over the door, hoping the major would believe her. The red-haired girl shrugged at the door. "At least I didn't destroy all _her_ stuff."

Thinking that made her wonder if Shinji had made the move on Rei. "They're probably going at it like badgers in heat right now. At least someone's getting sex… damn these drugs make me horny." The girl grumbled. She had wanted to go back to Rei's apartment since the major was working all day, and she knew Shinji would be over there, and she didn't want to be alone all day. But she figured she had to give the two some time alone so they could figure things out.

Asuka considered that for a little while. "If they start up a relationship… will either of them have any time for me? I'm going to be all alone. Hikari isn't even around anymore… fucking cowards all left after Unit 00 went kablooey. No faith in us pilots whatsoever. Don't they understand that if we fail, it won't matter where the fuck they are, they're still going to die! Why couldn't they just stay here and show us some goddamned support!" She growled and kicked the refrigerator. "Oh shit, I'm sorry Pen-Pen! I didn't mean to… what the hell am I talking about? Damn it I forgot he was gone. Even that stupid bird has abandoned us."

Asuka pulled her knees up under her chin, crossed her arms over them, and sobbed. She felt alone and unwanted, and the worst part was, she had encouraged Shinji into going after the quiet blue-haired girl. And she knew she never had Kaji's interest to begin with. "Probably just sees me as a kid. Nobody takes me seriously, unless I'm in my Eva."

She remembered a time a number of months before, when Shinji and Unit 01 were swallowed up by the 12th angel. She was ranting and raving about how the third child got what he deserved for being a chauvinistic pig and acting like he could take on the angel himself. Realistically, she knew he really just wanted to protect the girls and to prove himself. And though she would have never admitted it then, and perhaps not even now, she was scared that she would never see the boy again. Rei had gotten in her face and asked if she only piloted Eva for the praise of others. She had tried to play it off that she knew she was great and of course others would see that as well, but she knew the real truth. She felt it was the only thing in her life that gave it meaning, and that it gave others a reason to depend on her and give her attention. It was also why she acted the way she did, so they had no choice _but_ to notice her.

The second child wiped her tears away and plopped down on the coach and flipped the television on. "At least the TV still works." A moment later, the signal cut out, replaced by a message saying the station was experiencing technical difficulties. "Scheiße!" She cried. She flipped the channels and found almost all of them were the same way. The only one still in service was a nature channel. She slapped her forehead in exasperation. "Gott lacht an mir. (God laughs at me.)" She muttered. On the screen was a documentary about the mating habits of various mammals, so lots of fuzzy critters going at it as if it was going out of style were continuously displayed.

* * *

Misato frowned as she observed the fifth child in the distance. "What's he doing?" She inquired one of the security staff that was 'discretely' observing the silver-haired boy from a distance.

"Just that, major. He's been sitting there on that bench here in the atrium for several hours now. He's either waiting for someone with exceptional patience or he's just… watching people walk by." The security officer remarked, shaking his head. "Whenever someone happens to look at him as they pass, he gives them the strangest smile, as if they were a long lost best friend. I can't figure him out."

The major raised an eyebrow and regarded Kaoru Nagisa curiously, wondering what could be going through his head. She sighed and left security to their work and resumed her own. "Hasn't Captain Ibuki reported in yet?" Misato inquired, wondering why the girl was absent again.

"No, apparently she came down with some sort of illness that impaired her ability to concentrate effectively. Akagi-dono is enforcing a 72 hour leave on her." Makoto explained, glancing up from his terminal.

The major sighed. "That's all we need, is for some illness to start sweeping through the GeoFront. Although I suppose it could simply be a case of food poisoning, ne?"

"You can always call her and ask her yourself." The lieutenant suggested as he pulled out a manga since his work station was going to be running autonomous diagnostics for an hour or two.

"I might stop by later, assuming her condition isn't infectious." Misato replied, not feeling like talking to someone over the phone. "She's probably sleeping anyway, if she's feeling bad. Or she's reading some boring technical magazine that would make me bleed out of my ears just by looking at it." She grinned and sat down to start going over the boring reports that made her job a living hell. "Ah… I'd take an angel attack over this paperwork any day."

She briefly considered going to visit Dr. Akagi later on, to give herself a break, but then reconsidered. '_She'd probably be all business… which is fine. But… after what happened between us the other day, I'm still a little weirded out. It's not so much that we had sex… but it was how she did it. Such anger… she scared the crap out of me. Whatever's got her angry, I don't wanna be around her until it's resolved.'_

Misato paused as she signed yet another document concerning repair costs from the last angel attack and glanced at the technician who was still reading. "So what do you think the chances are that the 17th angel will decide not to attack, considering we defeated all of his friends?" Lt. Hyuga gave her a 'yeah right' look and so the major shrugged. "One can hope, right? Then maybe I won't have to sign so many of these damn reports in the future… I mean… one form for requesting x number of L shaped pipes, another for requesting x number of straight pipes, another form for requesting so many valves of _this_ type, another form for valves of _that_ type… _and_ I have to check all this and so much more against the master list of what we need _now_ and what we can wait on. It's _maddening_."

Makoto gave her a sympathetic smile, but inside he was amused. '_This is why I'm in no rush to be promoted. The higher the rank, the more responsibility and paperwork. I'm happy right where I am, thank you! Captain Ibuki probably got sick from being overworked with all her new responsibilities.'_

Major Katsuragi growled. "That the hell is the difference between a ball valve and a butterfly valve, anyway!"

The lieutenant bit his tongue to keep from laughing at the purple-haired beauty's misfortune.

* * *

Shinji opened up the door to Rei's apartment and called out a greeting. He still felt a little uncomfortable just walking in, but she had told him to and he knew from past experience that she didn't seem to pay any attention to someone knocking on the door. He also remembered just before Suzahara was killed in the Dummy Plug incident, when he and his friend had brought the flyers to the girl's apartment, she had walked in while he was cleaning the place up and she didn't seem concerned by their presence, and was even confused why they had apologized for walking in uninvited. Though he did fondly remember her blush when she found out he had cleaned her apartment.

The third child kicked off his shoes and stepped up onto the concrete that made up the floor to Ayanami's apartment. He briefly thought about the first time he ever came to this apartment and felt bad because while both he and Rei had fallen, she hit the floor and all he did was land over her and accidentally groped her. While she fell back onto hard concrete, _and_ had a heavier body fall on top of her and on tender intimate anatomy as well. '_It's a wonder she ever talked to me again after that, especially considering I upset her with how I felt about my father.'_ Shinji scratched his head and entered the bedroom area to find the red-eyed girl lying face down on her bed, her chin resting on her folded arms. "Hello, Rei-chan. I'm back."

The blue-haired girl sat up and looked at the third child. "Your father's words were kind?" She could tell he was happy.

Shinji nodded. "They were very kind. I asked his permission to court you."

Rei raised an eyebrow up slightly. "To court me." She stated/questioned.

"Yes. To uh… you know. So we could have a relationship. A romantic relationship. This… is something you wanted as well, na?" The blue-eyed boy inquired carefully. He felt that he surely couldn't have misread the situation judging by that kiss and embrace earlier.

"If that is your desire." The first child replied in a mysterious tone.

The young Ikari blinked in surprise, feeling unsure of himself now. "We don't have to date, if you don't want to. I was just asking his permission. It's not like you don't have a choice."

"Commander Ikari agreed to your request?" Rei inquired.

Shinji blushed, still unsure of how to take her odd reaction. He should have been accustomed to the way she reacted to things by now, but as he told his father, he was still learning. "Hai."

"And it is your desire that we court." She continued in her mysterious tone.

The third child coughed nervously. "Ah… hai."

Rei was silent for a while before nodding. "Then we shall court one another."

"Oh… ah, ok." The blue-eyed boy felt shy, all the sudden. "Ah, you don't have to, if you don't want to."

The first child stared at the boy silently.

"Well, there is something I need to tell you, before we're officially a couple. Ah… a few days ago, when we were examined by Akagi-dono and Ibuki-taii… well… I was nervous and scared… and ah…" Shinji felt like running away. "She, well, Ibuki-taii I mean, uh… she made an offer and… at first I think it was just to distract me but I talked to her later and ah… well… she… well we actually… ah…"

Rei stared at the boy silently.

The blue-eyed boy coughed nervously. He desperately wanted to run away. "We… had sex. Kind of."

The first child raised an eyebrow slightly. "Kind of." She stated/inquired.

"Hai… well, she gave me… ah… oral sex. I was still upset about the dummy plug revelation and scared about what was going on with me and… I have no excuse. Gomen nasai, Rei-chan." Shinji stared at the floor, his cheeks burning in shame.

The blue-haired girl resisted the urge to say that she knew about it already, as she realized that might scare the boy. "No need for apology."

"Well I… but I… cheated on you… kind of. I mean, we weren't officially in a relationship, but I knew I wanted to be in one with you." Shinji protested. Even though being with Rei would make him happier than he had been in his entire life, he still felt undeserving of her affection.

"Are you in love with Ibuki-taii?" Rei inquired. She already knew he wasn't, but she had to put the boy's mind at ease somehow.

"No! Of course not! It was just…" He wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't say it was meaningless, because it wasn't. And that would imply that he thought of women as cheap objects to be used and thrown away. He couldn't really say it meant something to him either because that would imply that he looked on the act fondly and perhaps wanted to repeat it. He was screwed either way.

"Then you have not cheated on me, Shinji-kun." The first child stated as firmly as her soft voice allowed. "I have not asked you to share your body only with me. It is yours to do with as you choose. If, however, you truly wish to court me, I claim dominion over your heart." The way she said it was… borderline scary.

The third child paled slightly, unsure how to take that statement. "I don't understand." Clarification seemed of vital importance here.

"As long as I am first in your heart, you are free to do as you choose." Rei elaborated, though it still wasn't entirely clear.

"Well, I…" Shinji scratched his head, confused.

"I bought a rice steamer." The first child stated out of the blue, completely changing the subject.

The blue-eyed boy shook his head in confusion. "What?"

"I bought a rice steamer." She repeated in the exact same tone as before. "You wished me to have a rice steamer, so I purchased one."

The third child's mouth dropped open in surprise. He glanced around and his brow furrowed in confusion. "But where'd you put it? Where _could_ you put it?"

Rei pointed to the curtain behind her bed and dresser that covered the sliding door leading to the balcony. "For the moment, it is out with my washing machine. Perhaps we can do a little reorganization in here and find a more suitable place to set it in here that will not be in the way."

Shinji shook his head, still baffled. "But… why did you buy one so suddenly?"

The first child tilted her head slightly. "You asked me to."

The young Ikari blushed self-consciously. "Well no, I didn't mean… I wasn't ordering you to run out and buy one. I just suggested we get one. Someday."

"I chose today. Sit down, I prepared lunch." Rei walked into the entrance hallway and poured some miso soup with seaweed into bowls, and placed some teriyaki-chicken strips onto a small plate for Shinji. She brought those and the pickled vegetables to the table then went outside to scoop some steamed rice into bowls as well. Then she poured water for them both, much to the embarrassment of the boy who she could tell was more comfortable being on the giving end of such treatment. She handed him some nice chopsticks in a cloth carrying case. "These are yours while you are here."

Shinji stared at the meal and the chopsticks in astonishment. He had never felt so… welcome in his entire life, and it scared him. "You… didn't have to do all this, Rei-chan! You're embarrassing me."

The first child stared at the boy silently for a few moments before responding. "If… it displeases you…"

"No! That's not what I mean! I'm just… it's overwhelming." The third child corrected hastily.

Rei nodded, accepting that explanation. "If you have any favorites, please let me know and I will attempt to cook them next time. If I know how. I… do not have much experience with cooking."

Shinji smiled and nodded. "Ah… I have been cooking for most of my life. I would be glad to… teach you."

A blush crept into the red-eyed girl's cheeks. "Now _you_ are embarrassing _me_." She stated softly.

The third child smiled. He wondered why it was that he felt so comfortable with her in times like this, but other times, she scared the hell out of him. He felt he really would have to get accustomed to her mannerisms. He paused thoughtfully as he chewed on a piece of chicken. "Ah, you didn't have to make chicken. I know how you feel about meat."

"I dislike eating meat. I do not understand why others enjoy it, but I do not deny them to the right to choose whether they eat it or not, Shinji-kun. If you wish to devour the dead flesh of fowls, I shall cook it for you." Rei deadpanned.

"Thank you, Rei-chan. That is very kind." Shinji grinned, unphased by her graphic descriptions of meat-eating. Mostly, anyway.

Rei sipped her soup silently.

The third child glanced at the girl, not feeling as strange about her silence this time. "Ah… so… you and Asuka?" He inquired, attempting to fish information out of the quiet girl.

The girl raised her red eyes to meet the blue eyes of the boy. She casually chewed on a piece of pickled Japanese radish.

"Ah… I mean… we, er she and I, I mean… talked this morning and… I got the impression that something was going on between you two." Shinji paused for a few moments to see if that got a response, but it didn't. "Ah… is there?"

Rei hovered her chopsticks over the rice as she contemplated how best to answer that question. "Yes." She finally replied, simply.

"Oh! …Oh." Shinji fell silent, unsure of how to take that news.

The first child chewed on some rice as she stared at the boy silently. "She has kissed me on several occasions, and has indicated she wishes to do more. However, she has not yet done so."

"Oh." The young Ikari commented, still unsure how to take the news.

The blue-haired girl regarded the boy curiously, puzzled at his reaction. "Does this news upset you?"

"No! I mean… ah… if she will make you happy, I won't stand in your way. I am just a little confused." The third child responded honestly.

"Because you care for Asuka-chan as well?" Rei inquired.

"Well… yes. I mean… no. I mean… I don't know. I… I chose you, and I would again. But yes, I do care for her as well. But I care for you more." Shinji responded, getting more confused rather than less.

The first child finished off her rice and looked at her fellow pilot. "My feelings for Asuka-chan have no bearing on my feelings for you, Shinji-kun. I care for you both. However, if you ask me to refuse her advances, I will. It will hurt her feeling, however. And I do not wish to do so unless absolutely necessary."

"But what about _your_ feelings?" The third child asked, shaking his head in confusion. "What do _you_ want?"

"If I felt nothing for her, I would not allow her to kiss me. I would not care whether her feelings were hurt or not. I am _not_ a doll." Rei stated the last part a little more firmly then she intended. Shinji had never accused her of being a doll, and as far as she knew, he had never thought it. But it was a touchy subject for her.

"Of course, I didn't mean to imply any different. I just… wanted to be sure." Shinji forced a smile, though he was still confused. He had stated his intentions to court the girl, she agreed readily, but then less than ten minutes later she says she likes Asuka and doesn't want to give her up. He didn't really want to ask her to give the other girl up, but he didn't want to give her up either. He was baffled why the girl seemed to be so nonchalant about this. He finished up his lunch and patted his stomach, feeling happy despite his confusion. He gave Ayanami a gentle smile and inquired "So… now what do you want to do?"

Rei stared at the third child silently.

* * *

Next chapter: More than likely, something sexy is going to happen. Muahahahah! Though how sexy, you'll have to wait and see. Rei, Shinji, and Asuka are of course going to be around… perhaps Kaoru will keep looking for Adam, or maybe I'll leave him out of the chapter. I do believe Ritsuko will pay a visit to Maya. I'll see how things shake out, so I won't comment further than that. Bwahahahaha! Fare thee well, good folk.


	25. Broken People

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: I think I have too much fun writing Crazy-Asuka. hahaha

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 25: Broken People

Asuka and Shinji stared silently at each other across the empty space of the third child's mostly empty room. The second child had a despondent, haunted look as she fixed her eyes, unblinking, on the blue-eyed boy. "Why do you hate me?" She inquired in a flat, weak voice.

"I don't hate you." Shinji protested.

"Why do you hate me?" The red-haired girl asked again, in exactly the same tone.

"I don't." The third child repeated.

"You don't love me." Asuka stated, still with a broken down voice.

The blue-eyed boy glanced away nervously.

The German girl repeated herself. "You don't love me."

"No. I don't." Shinji admitted reluctantly.

"You love her." Asuka pointed out softly.

"I… think so." The third child didn't argue with that statement.

"But not me." The girl observed.

"I care about you!" The boy cried out in protest.

"You don't." Asuka disagreed.

Shinji shook his head in confusion. "What is wrong with you, Asuka-chan!"

"Kannst du in meiner Seele lesen? (Can you read into my soul?)" The girl inquired, sounding remarkably like Rei at her most mysterious and emotionless times. (AN: Yes, both meiner vs. meine and lesen vs. sehen are intentional.)

The third child shook his head. "I don't understand."

"Sie ist leer. (She is empty/void.)" Asuka continued.

"I don't know what you're saying!" Shinji cried in frustration.

"You never know what either of us is saying. She, talking with her eyes, and I, speaking with words upon words. You neither see nor hear." Asuka stated, still sounding quiet and enigmatic.

The third child clenched his fists in anger. "Stop it!"

"How can I stop it, when it is your lips that are speaking these words?" The German girl inquired.

"I said stop it! Or I'll make you stop!" Shinji screamed, shaking with rage.

A corner of Asuka's mouth rose up slightly, the first expression she had made during the entire conversation. "How can I stop it, when it is _your_ hands that are wrapped around my throat? You, who is choking the life out of me."

The third child blinked, noticing his hands were indeed wrapped around the red-haired girl's pale slender throat. For a few moments he just stared at his hands as they dented in the soft flesh, but then a demonic smile formed on his lips and his hands tightened even more. "Yes. These _are_ my hands. This is your life. Your soul is empty, you said? Let's find out."

Asuka stared up into Shinji's maddened eyes, lying limply on the floor now, not even bothering to struggle. A single tear fell from the corner of her right eye.

"How does it feel now? Are you still empty? This is the real reason that angel was killing you, isn't it? It peered into your soul, and it found _nothing_. And it was scared. You're nothing but a doll." The third child laughed, sounding very much like a demon child.

The second child stared up into the frightening eyes above her as her neck was squeezed so tightly that she thought her head was about to pop off. Suddenly a thought was born in her gasping mind. '_I am not a doll.'_

"What?" Shinji inquired, leaning his head over so his ear was over the girl's mouth, but still he strangled her.

"I am not empty. I am not a doll. I… desire. My existence is valid because I desire. I am incomplete, but I have the will to reach out for that which I desire. That which will give my life more meaning than it has now." Asuka stated, reaching up to grab the hands that were around her neck, trying to pry the fingers away. Panic edged into her mind as she realized she wanted to live, and she would likely die anyway.

The third child snorted. Then he glanced downwards with an evil smirk on his lips. "You're wrong. You're nothing but an empty hole that's not even worth filling."

Asuka's eyes widened in shock. "Wh… what?"

"You're a broken doll. Useless. Nobody wants to play with you. When you die, nobody will even bother to bury you. More trouble than you're worth. We'll just toss your corpse into a lake and let the fish eat you. Of course, they'll probably have no use for you either." Shinji laughed.

"Stop!" The second child cried, clawing desperately at the hands around her neck, feeling her life fading. She struggled vainly, but she was already so weak. "Please... stop…" As the girl's eyes rolled back she saw Rei standing over her.

"Asuka. Wake up." The blue-haired girl stated softly, but in a commanding tone.

Asuka's eyes snapped open and she gasped in horror. Her arms vainly reached out for someone. Shinji… Rei… it didn't matter. Instead, she found herself cold and alone. She gasped for breath and scrambled backwards, pulling her knees up under her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs as panic burned raw and hot in her veins. Her terrified eyes swept quickly over the room and her hand reached up to clutch at her throat.

The German girl sobbed, wishing desperately that someone, anyone, was with her. She always slept soundly when she was curled up with Shinji or Rei. And when she wasn't… she had the most horrible nightmares. The whole dream had felt much like when the angel was probing her mind, an experience that was still aching and bleeding in her psyche. "Gott im Himmel… warum! (God in heaven… why!)"

Finally Asuka stood up and wiped her eyes and walked into the wash closet, where she splashed cold water on her face. She stared at the haunted look on her own face in the mirror and hated it. "Ich schaue in den Spiegel, aber ich erkenne diese Augen nicht. (I look into the mirror, but I do not recognize these eyes.)" She murmured, shivering as she turned away from the dreadful sight.

The red-haired girl was about to walk back into Shinji's room, where her futon was, to go back to sleep when she reconsidered. She glanced at Misato's door, realizing the woman must have returned from NERV by now. '_Probably completely exhausted and sleeping like the dead.'_ She reasoned.

The young pilot slowly slid the major's door open and peered in on her slumbering form. Judging by the smell of stale beer, she had at least a few drinks before passing out. Asuka glanced back towards Shinji's room before returning her gaze to the purple-haired beauty. She sighed and muttered to herself, "In der Not frisst der Teufel Fliegen. (Erm… I think the literal translation is 'In time of need/poverty the devil eats flies' but it means basically the same thing as the English phrase 'Beggers can't be choosers')" She trudged forward and flopped down beside the slumbering older woman. She moved close enough to feel the heat of the major's body, but didn't cuddle up to her.

Some time later, just as the second child was about to fall asleep finally, the major mumbled in her sleep with a giggle. "Oh Kaji… don't put it in there! No no… oh… ok maybe just for a little while… mmm…"

Asuka's eyes snapped open in horror. "Schlampe! (Slut)" She choked out, wanting to strangle the woman in her sleep. She clenched her fists and shook her head. "Why should I care? You can have him, you old hag." She grumbled, getting up and stiffly walking out. "Today just keeps getting better and better." She grumbled sarcastically.

She went back to the futon in Shinji's room and spent the remainder of the night staring up at the dark ceiling. At one point during the night she started shivering and curled herself into the fetal position and stated in a whisper, "Shut up, mother."

* * *

Maya rested her hand over her heart as she nearly swooned over a big romantic moment in the game she was playing. "Oh, their first kiss! That is _so_ cute!" She cried. "And she told him she was crying because she was happy! If only that happened in real life, it would be so beautiful!"

The captain munched on some sweet rice crackers as she watched the long video sequence, enjoying the sickeningly sweet love song that was accompanying it. Her good mood was ruined, however, when she heard a knock at the door. "No! Who could that be!" She grumbled. The captain stood up after pausing the game, brushed the crumbs off her over-sized shirt, and then stomped over to the door. '_Probably Aoba again to see how I'm feeling._ _As if he can't work a telephone.'_ She threw the door open and blinked in surprise. "Sempai?"

"Good evening, Maya-chan. I hope I'm not disturbing you." The bottle-blonde doctor stated, though she walked past the captain without awaiting an invitation. "Ikari-kun isn't here, is he?"

Maya blushed in embarrassment. "No! Of course not!"

Ritsuko shrugged and sat down on a padded chair. "So, you're resting up, I see."

The young Ibuki frowned, wondering why the doctor was acting so strangely. "It's quite restful. I'm just playing a game. It beats staring at the wall. Besides, you know in my place, you'd probably be working still, so don't tease me."

The doctor raised an eyebrow up, a little surprised at her tone. "No need to get testy, Maya-chan. Be a dear and fetch me a drink, will you? Tea is fine. Or sake, perhaps."

The captain frowned, turning so her expression wasn't seen. She liked Ritsuko, actually she _liked_ Ritsuko a lot, but right now she felt violated. She bit down her offense and poured the older woman some tea and handed it to her. "To what can I owe the pleasure of this visit, sempai?"

Dr. Akagi sipped the tea and shrugged. "I didn't really feel like being alone tonight. And I didn't figure you'd mind."

'_You still haven't asked if I mind, either.'_ Maya thought silently. She glanced around and winced. She hadn't cleaned the place up in weeks and she was embarrassed by the mess. "If I had known you were coming, I would have cleaned up…"

"You're supposed to be resting anyway." Ritsuko argued, staring at the television screen. "Is that a movie?"

"A game." The captain corrected her, indicating the controller. "It's on pause."

Dr. Akagi made a "hmph" sound and looked towards the book case on the wall. "I suppose everyone needs a hobby." She stated in a condescending tone.

Maya frowned openly now, wondering if the woman was intentionally being a bitch. "H-hai. I suppose so." She replied meekly, dropping the frown politely when the doctor looked her way. "Have you eaten? I have some Tonjiru (pork miso soup) left over from dinner earlier." She offered politely. "I've been eating some rice crackers for dessert."

"I'm not hungry, thanks. I'm not in the mood to eat." Came the doctor's reply.

Maya shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what to say. After a few moments she sat down and regarded the distant expression on the blonde's face. "Is everything ok, sempai?" She inquired with concern.

"I had a bad day." Ritsuko offered simply, as an explanation.

Captain Ibuki nodded, waiting a few moments for her mentor to elaborate. When she didn't, she felt a prompt was in order. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"I had an… argument with Pilot Ayanami." The doctor explained, and after a thoughtful pause she continued. "She was rubbing it in my face about how she has both Ikaris wrapped around her little finger."

Maya's brow furrowed in confusion. "Ayanami did? That doesn't sound like her… perhaps she is suffering some difficulties due to her S2 organ, like Shinji-kun is?"

Ritsuko scowled in offense as the girl seemed to be defending the 'red-eyed bitch'. "She also told me that she knew that _you_ had sex with _her_ boyfriend, and she started talking about how she owned his heart and that he loved her passionately and she seemed to be warning you away from him. I think she might even try to hurt you, Maya-chan." The doctor fabricated a tale.

The captain's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened in shock. "She… knows! Shinji-kun told her!"

"She said she sensed his energy inside you. So she didn't even _have_ to ask him, she already _knew_." Dr. Akagi stated in a 'concerned' tone.

The young Ibuki shook her head uncertainly. "Rei-chan wouldn't hurt me… she _likes_ me!" She protested.

Ritsuko made an exaggerated shrug motion, as if to say she had no clue what was going on. "Whether she would harm you or not, she is blackmailing me. She wants me to call her Ayanami-san and treat her with deference, or she'll report your actions with the young _underaged_ Ikari-kun to his father. And I'm sure that's just for starters." The doctor did her best not to smirk, marveling at her own brilliance.

Maya settled back listlessly on her coach, contemplating that. It just didn't make sense to her that Rei would threaten the doctor over her. '_If Ayanami is upset about what we did, which is understandable, why didn't she come to me about it? Why get sempai involved? Something just isn't right about this. Rei-chan is a sweet girl… isn't she?'_

After thinking that the captain shook her head. "I can't let you take the fall for me, sempai. If Ayanami wishes to inform the commander about my actions, she can do so. I can't let you suffer for my mistakes."

Dr. Akagi frowned. She hadn't expected the girl to be so willing to take accountability for her actions. So this called for a revised plan. "We can deal with the little bitch ourselves. Then we won't have to worry about what she will or won't tell the commander."

Maya tilted her head and gave her mentor a quizzical look. "What? You don't want to hurt Ayanami-chan, do you sempai!"

Ritsuko glanced around, even though they were alone, and then leaned closer to speak in a soft conspiring tone. "Not her directly. The Dummy Plug system. No… if I hurt her, Gendo would kill me. If I destroy the Dummy Plug system… he'd be upset, but ultimately the system is useless now. Unit 01 won't accept it, Unit 00 is gone, and there are three pilots for Unit 02… four if you count Ms. Bitch herself. It's an acceptable loss. We'd just get slapped on the wrist. But Ayanami's usefulness would be over!"

Maya stared at the doctor in horror. She couldn't believe the older woman was saying all this! "Sempai, we can't do that! It's not worth it! I'll talk to Ayanami-chan. Surely she'll see reason. If she wants vengeance for my indiscretion with Shinji-kun, then let her have it on me and be done with it."

Dr. Akagi growled, furious she was refused by her young protégé. "So you won't help me take my revenge on that little bitch! _Me_, your sempai? Don't you care about me at all!"

Captain Ibuki shook her head sadly. "Sempai… I think you are just over-worked and overly stressed. This just isn't like you! Please, take a leave of absence. Get some rest and clear your head, ok?"

Ritsuko's hand lashed out and she slapped the young captain. "Of all the betrayals I've suffered through… yours hurts the most." The doctor then walked out while the younger woman was still in shock from being struck.

Maya rested her hand on her sore cheek to soothe it, shaking her head in disbelief. "Sempai… I don't understand." Tears fell unchecked from her eyes as she felt like she had betrayed the person she cared for most, and she didn't even understand how it happened.

* * *

Rei stared silently at the boy across from her, an eyebrow quirked up slightly. "What is it you desire of me, Shinji-kun?"

A touch of a blush formed on the boy's cheeks. The innocent way she said it coupled with the implications, real or imagined, behind those words led his mind down a sordid path. He coughed nervously to clear his mind and give him a few moments to order his thoughts. "I just want… to know you."

A slight amused smile edged the corners of the first child's lips up. "Know me… as in the biblical sense?"

Confusion washed over the young Ikari's face but then it was quickly replaced by an even darker blush than before as he realized what she meant. "Wha… no! Well… not no. But… that's not what I meant. I… Rei-chan…"

The smile grew, reminding the boy of when she smiled at him earlier that day, as well as so long ago after the fifth angel was defeated.

"You're teasing me? You… surprise me, Rei-chan." Shinji admitted with admiration.

The blue-haired girl nodded. A moment later, she inquired "How do you wish to know me, Shinji-kun?"

"Well…" The dark-haired boy paused, wondering how best to approach this subject. "I know you so well, but at the same time… I don't know you at all."

"And you believe it is possible to know someone better than this? Can you know me, when you do not know yourself?" Rei inquired, regarding the boy curiously.

The third child smiled and shook his head in wonder. "You always turn philosophical."

The red-eyed girl narrowed her eyes slightly in confusion. "Is this wrong? Am I not supposed to have these thoughts?"

Shinji shook his head, his smile growing larger. "No, nothing is wrong with it. You have a beautiful soul. And your inquisitive mind is one of the things I adore about you. I am often too afraid to ask myself those kinds of questions. I respect your bravery."

Now it was Rei's turn to blush. She glanced away so that she could focus her thoughts. "You… embarrass me, Shinji-kun."

"I'm only speaking the truth, Rei-chan." The boy informed her, a peaceful joy settling over his heart as he enjoyed the reaction to his words. It was in these moments that he saw her soul most clearly and when he found her to be the loveliest.

The blue-haired girl turned her eyes back towards the third child. "You do not speak truth. You said you were afraid. You imply that you are a coward. You are not."

Shinji frowned and looked away, feeling shame now. "No, it's true. I'm a coward. I always want to run away. I'd rather crawl into a hole and be alone then to reach out to others, because I'm too afraid of being hurt."

"You reached out to me. It was the strength of your heart that saved my life, Shinji-kun." Rei assured him.

"I… well that was… because… I… well… ah…" The third child couldn't put a coherent thought together, he was so flustered.

A touch of a smile came to Rei's lips as she observed the boy's predicament. "Words are fragile creatures. Is it not strange that we can understand the meaning of a word, even when we do not understand the concept? But it is the naming of things that give us power over them, so that we may begin to unlock their mysteries."

Shinji laughed softly. "Philosophical again. You have such a curious soul, Rei-chan."

The first child glanced away, embarrassed again. "For a long time… I did not believe I had a soul of my own."

The blue-eyed boy looked up at the girl, surprised. "But now you do, right?"

"Yes. I have seen it." The red-eyed girl responded, as if she were telling him that she saw a bird at the window.

Somehow, for Rei, it was not hard to believe that she had indeed seen her soul. Shinji smiled. "What was it like?" He inquired, genuinely curious.

Rei paused thoughtfully, seeking the words that were sufficient to describe her most intimate of places. "It was… tranquil. And sad."

Feeling self-conscious, but unsure why, the third child sat down on Rei's bed. "Sit for a while, Rei-chan?" He inquired as he tried to think of something that would make the quiet girl happy.

The first child moved silently to sit on the chair near the bed.

"Wait! Sit over here, Rei-chan!" The boy called out, impulsively reaching out to place a gentle hold on the girl's wrist. He had intended to sit on the far less comfortable chair himself if necessary. However, when he grabbed her so suddenly, the red-eyed girl lost her balance and fell backwards.

Rei blinked in surprise when she suddenly found herself sitting in the other pilot's lap sideways. To prevent her from slipping off and falling on the hard concrete floor, the third child had immediately wrapped his arms around the girl's slender waist. They stared silently into each other's eyes, a blush mirroring on both sets of cheeks.

Surprise, embarrassment, and a little fear passed through Shinji's mind. "Oh! I'm sorry." He apologized.

"For what?" Rei inquired.

"Well…" The third child blushed, wondering how she could even ask that question. "I didn't mean to force you on me like this. I was only…"

The first child looked into Shinji's eyes, reading the conflicting emotions playing through those orbs. "Last year, when you fell on me. Do you remember what I told you?"

Shame brightened the pilot's cheeks as he recalled that event. "Hai. You told me to get off of you."

Rei stared at the boy silently.

Shinji blinked in confusion, not comprehending her meaning. '_Is that a hint to let her go, or is she saying she'd tell me to let her go if she wanted me to?'_ He wondered.

The first child watched the changes in the boy's eyes as he tried to figure out what to do. '_It can't be that hard to figure out. Look into my eyes, Shinji…'_ The girl thought, wondering why he couldn't seem to read her eyes as she read his.

Doubt plagued the boy's mind and he started shifting to set her down, then he caught a change in the girl's lovely red eyes. '_Disappointment._ _I know that look well. It is always how my father's eyes look.'_ Shinji realized his mistake, almost too late, and altered the readjustment so that his arms held the girl more securely. Taking a chance, he pulled her close into an embrace.

A few tense moments later, Rei snaked her arms around the back of the third child's shoulders and closed her eyes, feeling peace in her soul.

The blue-eyed boy sighed softly, but felt guilty because his body was noticing he was holding a beautiful girl closely, as she sat in his lap no less. He hated himself for the words he was about to speak. He would have strangled himself, if he could, so they stayed hidden in the damaged caverns of his heart, but he could not. "Rei-chan… I… don't want to come between you and Asuka-chan."

Rei leaned back in the boy's loose embrace and fixed her eyes on him, confused.

"I want you to be happy." He stated, though he knew it meant he would never be happy. The bitter truth was, though, he was accustomed to not being happy.

"I do not understand, Shinji-kun." The first child stated honestly.

The dark-haired boy sighed. '_A hundred angels… no… a thousand angels._ _Yes, I'd rather battle a thousand angels than say this. Why… why can't I just shut the fuck up? I can't do that to Rei though… or Asuka. They deserve better. Better than me.'_ He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "I can't force you to choose between us. If she makes you happy… and you make her happy, then you should be together."

Rei raised an eyebrow. "Must I choose?" She inquired, a touch of a frown forming on her mouth.

Shinji fixed his gaze down at the floor. He didn't know what felt worse, trying to gracefully stand aside for the happiness of the girls, or trying to make it sound like she had to make a choice then. '_Can't I just be happy for a while? If Asuka is hurt, I can step aside. Until then, won't I be making them unhappy? They will feel guilty for hurting my feelings, won't they? I have to think of them, too. Is it worse for them if I step aside now and likely cast a shadow on their relationship, or to wait until we all grow too attached to make a clean break? Why can't anything be simple?'_

Making up his mind, the third child shook his head. '_Maybe it's selfish. But I will probably never get to feel this way again… I want to hang onto it, if just for a while.'_ He embraced the girl again and told her "No, of _course_ you don't have to choose."

Rei smiled as she rested her head on the young Ikari's shoulder, happy that the issue was resolved.

Shinji inhaled and smiled. '_This is the scent of Rei…'_ He nuzzled his face into the soft skin at the base of the girl's pale neck and placed soft butterfly kisses there, without even realizing he was doing it.

The first child let out a soft gasp as her eyes fluttered closed. Her arms tightened around the boy's shoulders, enjoying his warmth and attention.

The blue-eyed boy murmured something unintelligible as his kisses trailed up. He nibbled on the girl's delicate left earlobe, reaching a hand up to brush his fingers through the silky blue locks around the girl's right ear. "Rei-chan…" He whispered, lost in the moment.

"Mmm?" Rei tilted her head to the side, enjoying the affectionate attention and hoping it lasted.

"Mmm." Shinji agreed, his mouth finding the girl's soft lips. On instinct, he moved her down so she was on her back and curled into her, his left arm cradling the girl's head with his fingers entwined in her hair as his right hand moved down, trailing over the pale expanse of the first child's stomach which their movements had unveiled.

The red-eyed girl sighed into the boy's mouth, only mildly caught by surprise when his tongue slipped past her lips. Her body seemed to remember how to kiss back, which was good because her brain was too busy enjoying the electrifying sensations that were rolling into it to remind her.

Shinji's fingers continued their journey upwards, sliding along several of the girl's ribs, eventually sliding directly underneath the cloth of her bra to cup the left breast he found there.

Rei's eyes shot open in surprise and she stiffened, unaccustomed to that sensation. It was nice… very nice.

The third child froze, thinking he had done something wrong or moved too fast. He lifted his head up and looked into the crimson eyes beneath his own wondering gaze.

A delicate blue eyebrow rose up slowly, inquisitively.

"I'm sorry." Shinji whispered, afraid the girl was going to be angry with him.

Rei blinked. "For what?"

"I… I don't know." He replied honestly. If she wasn't offended by his affectionate touches, should he feel sorry? The boy felt it might be best not to press his luck, however, so he rolled over onto his back, but kept an arm behind the girl's head in case she wanted to snuggle up against him.

The red-eyed girl looked at Shinji silently for a while. Eventually she settled onto her side, using the arm under her head as a pillow, finding more comfort in its warmth than in her normal headrest.

The third child sighed, feeling happy despite how disappointed his body was in him. "Familiar ceiling." He murmured, feeling safe and at home here for the first time.

Rei raised an eyebrow up slightly, but chose not to comment on his strange statement. She felt happy, but her body was still tingling all over, and the sudden ending just left her feeling… incomplete. '_What is this feeling? Is it… frustration? Longing? What is it?'_ She wondered.

* * *

The sad thing is… I had my roommate perform that little "Grab-wrist" maneuver between Shinji and Rei on _me_ so I could see if what I described was realistic. It was. His comment, "I'm glad you're so light." Haha Next chapter: Oh Shinji… don't worry. You'll get better at reading a girl's cues. Maybe. Hopefully. Next chapter: Asuka has another therapy session… those are always fun. Ritsuko finds ways to vent her anger. Shinji and Rei… well… they get confused and stuff. All good fun. Beyond that, we'll see if anything fits in or not. Ciao!


	26. Stone Cold by the Nightmare

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Kannst du für mich schuldig sein?

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 26: Stone Cold by the Nightmare

Dr. Kagame looked at Asuka as she sat down in the chair across from his desk. When she left his office on her last visit, she had seemingly returned to her former confident, perhaps even arrogant self. Gone was the strength that was in her eyes that day. Now she just looked empty and haunted. "Good morning, Asuka. How have you been feeling these past few days?" He inquired.

"Guten Morgen, Herr Doktor." Asuka greeted in return. She glanced at the clock, even though they had only been talking for a few seconds, and sighed. "Not so good." She admitted.

"How so?" The therapist inquired.

The second child sighed again. "I had some bad dreams. Last night was the first time I've slept alone since… well… I had my little… breakdown, and Shinji-kun's possessions paid the price."

"Would you like to talk about the dreams?" The doctor asked.

Asuka frowned and glanced away. "At first… I was just talking to Shinji-kun, except… it wasn't really me. I mean… it was me. But it was my darkest thoughts and feelings. And I just felt… empty. I even told him that… that my soul was empty." She paused for a few moments, shifting uncomfortably. "Didn't I ask you to get a more comfortable chair?"

"Move to the couch then. I will sit in the uncomfortable chair." Dr. Kagame offered.

The red-haired girl looked at the couch for a few moments then shrugged and plopped down on it instead. "Much better." She commented, finding a comfortable position quickly.

"I'm glad. Now, you were telling me about your dream. You told Ikari-kun in your dream that your soul was empty?"

"Jawohl. (That's right/exactly)" The German girl affirmed. She glanced at the clock again before continuing. "Next thing I know he's strangling me… and I mean… _really_ choking the hell out of me. But I wasn't fighting back. I was just lying there… limply. But then I wanted to live because I realized my soul was not empty… but by that time I was so weak I couldn't loosen his grip. Then I woke up."

Dr. Kagame jotted down some notes as he asked "And how did that make you feel?"

Asuka looked down at the floor. She hated admitting weakness. Normally she'd rather lose a limb or two than do so but she knew he wouldn't leave her alone until she made the admission. "I… had a panic attack when I woke up, I think."

The psycho-therapist looked up at his patient, surprised by her confession. "The dream disturbed you that deeply?"

The second child shrugged uncertainly. "Maybe. I think I was more scared because I was alone though. I reached out for someone, but there was no one there, of course. Mir rutschte das Herz in die Hose. (I was scared silly… I think literally it would be: To me the heart slipped into the trousers… or something along those lines. Starting a sentence with the reflexive form of I is baffling to me. The only time I've seen that in common usage is state of being phrases, like "Mir ist kalt" which is "I am cold", or rather "It is cold to me"…)"

The doctor quirked an eyebrow up, confused. "I'm sorry? Your heart did what to your pants?"

"I was terrified." Asuka explained.

"Ah." Dr. Kagame nodded, now understanding. "Why do you think you feel so dependant on others sleeping with you now?"

The second child considered that. "It makes me feel safe." She explained after a few moments.

The therapist nodded his head, making a note of that information. "I'm sure that feeling safe is even more important to you nowadays. Why were you sleeping alone last night?"

The blue-eyed girl smirked as she shrugged. "Shinji-kun and Rei-chan were probably fucking all night long."

"So not only were you left alone, but the two people you feel closest to were spending time with one another, and excluding you." Dr. Kagame observed.

"Jawohl. But don't misunderstand me, it's not like I would want to watch them doing sexual gymnastics, except perhaps if I were participating. Assuming I was ready for such a thing." Asuka pointed out.

"Of course. Were you able to fall asleep afterwards?" The therapist inquired.

"Nein." The German girl replied with a frown.

The doctor nodded then asked "So what else is on your mind today?"

The second child considered that after glancing at the clock again. "I think Kaji is dead."

Dr. Kagame raised an eyebrow, curious about her uncertain tone. "Why do you think that?"

"Misato-san hasn't said a single word about him in some time now. And this morning, the phone rang. But she ignored the phone and she was right next to it. I told her to pick it up because it might be Kaji and she said he wouldn't call again. I know Kaji doesn't see me the way I wanted him to see me… but he did care about me. Maybe as a little sister. And he was so in love with Misato it was giving me cavities just looking at them. Even if they had a fight, she wouldn't say it like that… so certain he would not call. She may as well have said he could not call because he was too busy chasing skirts in heaven."

The doctor frowned in thought as he noted that down. "Don't lose hope yet. Perhaps he is just on a business trip somewhere he cannot call from."

"Maybe. But that doesn't explain why there is a cloud of sadness floating around her." Asuka pointed out.

"I see." Dr. Kagame replied. "Who was it that called? Someone important to you?"

"Nein. It was just my mother." The red-haired girl replied in a bored tone.

The therapist blinked, not expecting that reply. "Your mother? Your dead mother?"

The second child looked at the doctor like he was the one that needed the therapy. "Nein, Dummkopf! Sie ist nicht meine leibliche Mutter. Sie ist meine Stiefmutter. (No bonehead! She is not my biological mother. She is my step-mother.)"

The psychologist noted that down, but he was still puzzled. "This is the first time you've mentioned her. You mentioned your aunt being a maternal influence, and of course we've discussed your biological mother, but you've never mentioned your stepmother."

Asuka shrugged in indifference. "There's not much to say about her. When meine Mutti (my Mama) went völlig übergeschnappt (totally crazy/stark raving mad), she was admitted to die Klapsmühle (the nuthouse) and mein Vater (my father) started fucking her Psychotherapeut (psycho-therapist). So after Mama went for a long fall on a short rope, he just up and married Frau Doktor Seelenklempner (headshrinker… literally soul-plumber haha). I don't really hate her, but I've never had much use for her. We just keep up appearances."

Dr. Kagame rubbed his temples after noting all that down. "Asuka-san… please stick to Japanese as much as possible. The constant language-switching is very hard to follow."

"Jawohl." The German girl replied with a playful smirk.

The doctor sighed, though he wasn't surprised by her response. "How have your interactions with Ayanami-kun been?"

A smile formed on Asuka's lips as she considered the first child. "I always thought she was an emotionless doll… but I realized she feels the same things I do, she just doesn't know how to express herself. Or… perhaps it's just that she is such a classy girl that she's… what's the word… reserved. But… I'm figuring her out. So, our interactions have been rather nice. She told me she trusts me… and she likes me too. She makes me happy."

The therapist nodded as he wrote that information down. "She's been a positive influence on you, then?"

"Ja, she's the best, Herr Doktor." The red-haired girl agreed.

"And how about Ikari-kun?" Dr. Kagame inquired.

Asuka chuckled mischievously. "Well, I sure would like it if he would throw me down and ravage my nubile body."

The doctor cleared his throat nervously. "Other than that?"

"Why, Herr Doktor Kagame… is that a blush I see on your cheeks?" The second child teased.

Dr. Kagame resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Other than your hormonal desires, are you still getting along well with Ikari-kun?"

"Ja, he's a sweetheart. Completely clueless, but still a sweet boy." Asuka replied.

"Do you relate well to him in non-sexual or romantic ways?" The therapist inquired.

The second child nodded. "Ja, we converse much easier now than we did in the past. I'm sure there are still frustrations between us, other than the obvious physical ones, but I think… we are both more willing to actually talk about what we really want to talk about. In the past, I was too busy trying to put him in his place to actually listen to him or open up. Now, I don't think it's so much of an issue."

The doctor noted that down and regarded the girl curiously. "Does it bother you that you are romantically interested in two people that are also interested in each other, and may now even have an intimate relationship with one another?"

Asuka shrugged. "Not so much. My biggest worry is that they will have no time for me, and be too wrapped up in each other to care for me. If I cannot have a romance with either one of them, it does not matter so much. Friendship is what I want the most. I want to be important to them."

"So you're willing to put aside your own happiness for theirs, if they throw you an occasional bone of attention?" Dr. Kagame asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

The blue-eyed girl sighed and shook her head. "You are misunderstanding me, Herr Doktor. What I want most is friendship. Yes, I am attracted to them both. Yes, I would greatly enjoy a romance with either one of them. And yes, I am willing to put aside hopes of romance for that friendship. It is not so bad a thing to put aside a want for a need, don't you agree?"

"But you fear they will give you neither what your want, nor what your need, should they become a couple." The therapist pointed out.

"Of course." The second child agreed.

The man paused to order his thoughts before continuing. "Have you tried discussing this with them?"

Asuka nodded. "I told Shinji-kun that even if he marries Rei-chan and has a whole litter of cute little blue-haired apple-cheeked Kinder (children), I wanted our friendship to continue and remain important to him. Didn't we discuss this already?"

"It is worth going over again. How about Ayanami-kun? You have not discussed this with her?" Dr. Kagame inquired.

The red-haired girl shook her head. "It didn't seem necessary. She does not strike me as the type to forsake her friends. I know I am not as important to her as Shinji-kun is, but like I said before, she said she trusts me. She does not open herself to others easily, so she would not say such a thing lightly."

"And yet," The doctor continued, "You still fear they will abandon you."

"Ja. Of course. No one can know what the future holds. Even if they intend to remain close to me, it may not come to pass that way. I do not fear that they _want_ to brush me off, but I am afraid it will happen regardless. I know it probably stems from childhood abandonment issues or some other psychobabble, but it is what it is." Asuka pointed out with sadness in her voice.

"And what of Katsuragi-san? You said you regard her as a sister. Do you not have her to lean on for your attention needs?" The therapist questioned.

The second child considered that in silence. "Well… honestly, we haven't been very close lately. I admit that I've been harboring resentment towards her ever since she started dating Kaji." She glanced at the clock. "Time's up. Auf Wied-"

"Wait." Dr. Kagame put his hand up, interrupting the girl. "A few more minutes, please. Do you feel that Katsuragi-san betrayed you because of her relationship with Kaji-san?"

Asuka hissed out a frustrated sigh as she settled back down into the couch. "Yes and no. I feel betrayed, but I know she did not do it to hurt me. They had a history… and Kaji was quite persistent in his pursuit of her. Honestly, I am more upset with him than I am with her. In hindsight, he never saw me as anything more than a little sister, but he knew I had feelings for him. He _knew_ it, but instead of being upfront and honest with me, he ignored it. And before you try saying that perhaps he didn't know it, I will refute it. I made my intentions mehr als deutlich (abundantly clear) and only the most ignorant self-absorbed Dummkopf wouldn't see it. He did know of it, but he just did not want to deal with it. He flirted with anything with a skirt, but the moment that attention is anything but ignored or passively accepted, he runs off. I think he has a Mystery Complex."

"So you feel, perhaps, that he misled you to feel better about himself, and then abandoned you the moment he had to answer for it?" The therapist inquired.

The German girl frowned as she considered that, but soon enough she nodded. "Yes."

"Is it fair to say then that you're angry with him for ignoring you? And angry at _yourself_ for putting yourself out there to be rejected in the first place? And that you are not actually upset with Katsuragi-san at all, but she has just been the easiest target for your hurt feelings to focus on?" Dr. Kagame inquired.

The second child considered that with a cute crease appearing on the bridge of her nose. "That… seems logical." She admitted finally. She felt a little guilty and angry at herself for once again letting an innocent suffer her wrath.

"Perhaps you should forgive Katsuragi-san for having a relationship with Kaji-san… and forgive yourself as well, for opening your heart to someone who didn't appreciate it." The doctor suggested.

Asuka sighed. "That will be rather difficult to do." She grumbled.

"You can do it. It will be easy for someone as determined as you are." The doctor stated, manipulating the girl's sense of superiority.

The second child struck her fist against the arm of the couch like a hammer and nodded. "Jawohl! It will be a simple matter for someone of my ability! I trust then that our session is over, Herr Doktor?"

"Of course. Until our next session, then." Dr. Kagame replied with a smile and nod.

"Tschüss (bye), Herr Doktor Kagame." Asuka waved as she left, confidently striding out as if she were about to conquer the world.

* * *

Shinji's eyes cracked open and he groaned softly as he rose out of his state of slumber. He felt a soft body lying nearly on top of him so he looked down and saw soft blue locks fanning out beneath his gaze. "Mmph… Rei-chan? Did I fall asleep here?" He asked, even though the answer was obvious.

The first child sighed softly and shifted, but remained asleep.

The blue-eyed boy's eyes widened as a nearly painful whimper escaped his lips. "Ah… Rei-chan? Your hand is ah… on my… ah…" He blushed, unable to even name the shameful body part. To make matters worse, the girl was nude and her hand was resting directly on a very excited part of Shinji's anatomy. "It's ah… not what you think! That always happens in the morning… I probably need to use the toilet. Ah… Rei-chan?"

"Mmm?" The girl murmured, shifting again, cuddling even closer to the nervous boy.

Shinji gasped softly, his eyes rolling back as sinful pleasure spread throughout his body. "No, no! Don't move your hand against that even more!" He blushed in embarrassment. Unfortunately for him, his right arm was around the girl's body which prevented it from being able to reach that far down and his left arm was pinned between his own body and the wall. If the red-eyed girl didn't extract herself from around his form, he would either have to lie there and suffer her innocent touches or forcefully move her. Both options seemed equally bad. "Rei-chan? Are you awake?" He whispered hopefully.

"Mmm… wake?" Rei muttered groggily, shifting again.

Shinji groaned again. It was absolute torture, he believed. "Oh god… Rei-chan… don't… stop…"

"Don' stop wha?" The first child inquired in a barely coherent voice. She shifted her head to look up into the boy's dark blue eyes, blinking sleep out of her own red orbs.

"Your hand…" The third child gasped out softly.

The blue-haired girl lifted her head off the boy's chest and looked down, seeing that her hand seemed to be curled around a rather stiff lump in the boy's pants. "Oh… hai, Shinji-kun." She started to tenderly stroke the bulge, looking up into the third child's widened eyes as she heard the long low moan vibrate up from the boy's throat.

"That's…" Shinji was about to say it wasn't what he meant, but it felt too good, so he couldn't bring himself to say that. "It's a little uncomfortable…"

"What would make it more comfortable?" Rei inquired as she paused her tender touching.

The third child's cheeks reddened even more. "My pants are… too constricting. I… shouldn't be asking this of you."

"You… wish me to stop?" The red-eyed girl asked softly as her fingers touched the clasp on his pants.

Guilt and lust conflicted in the boy's psyche. He didn't even feel like he was worthy to be touched by this beautiful innocent girl, and yet he desperately wanted her to continue. "I… don't know." He admitted.

The first child tilted her head slightly to the side quizzically, watching the boy silently as he debated with himself. "It is your choice, Shinji-kun."

Shinji shifted enough to pry his arm out from underneath his body and pressed his palm against his forehead, agonizing with himself. '_What is it I want? I want… Rei-chan. But… I can't just ask her to do this, can I? Why… can't I? She wouldn't do it if she didn't want to, isn't that right? Why… why can't I just shut the fuck up and let her… why do I have to be such a coward? I don't understand… I care about Rei-chan, isn't that enough? Isn't physical intimacy an important part of a relationship? Am I being selfish, worrying over silly things like this? I don't deserve Rei-chan… I'm such a coward. I'm sneaky. Ibuki-san was upset over her own problems, and I added to her troubles by taking her up on her offer, even though she didn't want me. How could she? I'm nothing but a boy. What kind of selfish bastard _does _that? I'm so fucked up…'_

The boys internal debate continued. '_Rei-chan is waiting patiently for me to make up my mind whether I want her to touch me or not, like it should even be something I'd have to think about. Why couldn't I just say yes and enjoy it? Isn't this a rejection of her and her affection? Why… why is this so complicated? Can't love just be… simple? Love? Is it… love that I feel? Does that validate my existence? Am I worthy because so precious and sweet a girl cares for me, and maybe even loves me too? Isn't it a demonstration and sharing of love to have special moments like this with one another? Or am I being selfish again for even considering it?' _

And continued… '_Rei-chan_… _she wants to please me, but does she really want to do this, or is she afraid like I am? Will she think that if I reject this act, that I am rejecting her as well? I don't want to deny her. I… yes… I love her. Why do I love her? Is it simply because of how she makes me feel? She makes me feel… like a man. She makes me feel special and important. She makes me feel loved. She makes me feel at peace… at home. Do I love her simply because she makes me feel loved? No… we have a connection. It is special… unique. And it is not simply because of our similar origins… and our shared experiences as Eva pilots. It's something… that cannot be defined with words.'_

And still it persisted. '_How does she feel about me? I think she loves me too… but this is hardly the time to ask her. I shouldn't even ask her at all. If she wants to tell me, she will tell me. This is also not the time to tell _her_. One cannot honestly bare one's heart while hormones clog the mind. Is Rei-chan… the most patient girl in the world? I've been agonizing over this simple act for what seems an eternity, and she hasn't said a word. She… cares for me. She cares for my feelings enough to let me sort out my thoughts. But if she cares about a wretch like me… does that make her crazy?' _

And continued some more. '_Maybe love makes you crazy. Kaji-san once said that you can't understand anyone else without understanding yourself. Does Rei-chan understand herself? Does she… love herself? You can't love someone else without loving yourself first, isn't that what they always say? But then… if I am so sure I love Rei-chan… does that mean I love myself? I don't _feel _like I love myself… I think I might even hate myself. So… is this really love? How can it be? What… what is this? I don't understand my feelings any more than she understands hers. How can we be lovers if we don't understand our _own _feelings? Maybe by loving this girl, whom is so important to me, I will begin to love myself? Is it fair to her, though? Am I placing too much of a burden on her, if I want her to help me love myself as I love her? Damn it! Say something, you idiot! She probably fears that I'm going to reject her… to hate her… and yet here I am, silent and stupid! **Say something!**'_

Shinji coughed nervously, feeling tired from his long internal deliberation. "Rei-chan… what is it _you_ want? Do you… really want to do this?"

"You must decide for yourself what you want, Shinji-kun. I cannot make your choice for you." Rei stated in a soft, perhaps even vulnerable tone. She continued watching him, glancing down for a moment to confirm that the long wait had not deflated his passion before turning her red eyes back upon the third child.

The blue-eyed boy was hardly surprised by her response. He stared into the girl's mysterious red eyes, entranced by their calm and mysterious depths. Finally, he nodded. "I want… you to touch me, Rei-chan." He finally made his decision.

The first child nodded. "Of course, Shinji-kun." She responded. With calm and deliberate motions, she unfastened the boy's pants and unzipped them. A moment later, his underwear was pulled down, freeing the still erect member from its confining prison of cloth. The girl stared curiously at the organ for several long moments before brushing her fingertips over the sensitive length. "Is… this right?" She inquired, looking up at the boy.

The third child was having difficulty breathing. He couldn't believe how good it felt to be touched by another person, even with such feather-soft caresses. "That's… nice. Um… but wrap your hand around it… and stroke the length of it… please?"

Rei nodded and curled her fingers around the stiffened member and gently moved her hand up and down. "This is how you want it?" She asked with a touch of wonder in her voice.

Shinji's eyes rolled back into his head as a pained groan floated out of his slackened mouth. "That's… oh… Rei-chan…"

A small smile formed on the first child's lips as she continued her slow gentle ministrations. "This is correct, then." She stated more than inquired.

"Mmm… don't stop… Rei-chan… please, please don't stop…" The blue-eyed boy moaned out, reaching down and brushing his fingertips over the small of the girl's pale back as she pleasured him. He was having difficulty even forming a coherent thought as the girl's touch made his blood seem to boil in his veins.

The blue-haired girl turned her gaze back to the organ in her hand, watching it with fascination as the soft skin wrinkled and straightened with her strokes. She slid down the bed a little and moved so that she was straddling the boy's knees as her hand continued its leisurely journey up and back down again.

Shinji gasped and groaned softly, lifting his head to watch both the girl's slender fingers and her curious eyes. He couldn't believe how adorable she looked as she watched the sight of what she was doing to his most private parts. "Rei-chan… could you… perhaps… ah…"

Rei moved her gaze up until she stared into the boy's cobalt blue eyes and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

The third child blushed in embarrassment. "Ah… perhaps… take it into your mouth?"

The blue-haired girl crinkled her nose a bit and looked down at the steel-hard organ that was throbbing in her hand. After a few moments of consideration, she simply replied "No."

Shinji blinked in surprise. '_She… _can _say no. I think… I love her even more now.'_ He smiled and brushed his fingers over the girl's free arm. "That's ok. This is amazing as it is."

The first child nodded, continuing to stroke the hot engorged flesh, inquisitive as to how it could feel so hard and yet so soft at the same time. "I'm glad." She responded, leaning back a bit to better see what she was doing.

"Mmm… oh… Rei-chan… mmm… good… oh…" The third child murmured incoherently. He stared at the girl, practically drooling as he watched the sway of her bare breasts as she caressed him.

The smile returned to the quiet red-eyed girl's lips as she saw the effect she was having on her beloved, realizing that it was she that was giving him such pleasure. The insight brought a blush to her cheeks as she adjusted her wrist to stroke him in slightly different ways with each motion, finding that made the boy shudder and twitch in the most tantalizing manner.

Shinji's fingers curled into the bed sheets as his passion neared its breaking point. "Rei-chan… if you don't stop now… I'm going to make a _mess_…"

"There are tissues under the bed. Please hand me a few, Shinji-kun." Rei requested, not pausing in her caresses.

The blue-eyed boy frantically reached under the bed and thrashed his hand around, finally locating the box of tissues and nearly knocked it out of his reach. He grabbed up a wad of tissues and held them out for the girl as the fingers on his left hand clenched onto the linens, desperately trying to hold back his orgasm as long as possible and shivering from the sheer ecstatic torture of the moment.

The first child pressed several tissues over the crown of her lover's manhood. "Proceed, Shinji-kun." She whispered softly.

With a shudder and a choked gasp, the boy's body stiffened. "Nngh! Rei-chan… oh god in heaven…" He croaked out.

The blue-haired girl's eyes widened as she felt a wet heat soak through the tissues with alarming quickness, also surprised by the near violence of the boy's trembling. He seemed to be experiencing far more pain than pleasure and that worried her. "Shinji-kun? Is it… all right? Am I doing this correctly?"

An incoherent moaned utterance was the reply given by the boy as his eyes showed only the whites.

Rei quirked up an eyebrow. "I hope I am not injuring you, Shinji-kun…" She stated nervously, slowing the stroking of her hand down a little as she waited for some manner of response from the flushed pilot.

Shinji twitched violently suddenly, pulling away from the girl's hand, but she didn't stop with her stroking. "Rei-chan… please… stop…" He managed to gasp out.

The first child stopped immediately, worry creasing her features. "I'm… sorry. Did I do something wrong?"

The dark-haired boy let out a shuddering sigh and relaxed. "Mmm… no. It was perfect. I've never felt it so… intense before. It just gets… ah… oversensitive when I'm done. I mean…"

Rei used a fresh tissue to clean up the remainder of the mess, shaking her head once. "That is sufficient explanation, Shinji-kun. There is no need to go into a detailed description."

Shinji gave the girl a silly relaxed grin, his eyes half-lidded from post-orgasm fatigue. "Hai. Arigato, Rei-chan. It was amazing. _Beyond_ amazing. Wow…"

The first child blushed. She looked at the wet tissues curiously and sniffed them, but immediately jerked her face away from them, her nose crinkling in distaste. "The smell is unpleasant, but it is yours, so it is bearable." She remarked. She stood up and walked over to a waste basket to dispose of the moist tissues. The girl then returned to the bed and sat down sideways to face Shinji. "I see your body has returned to normal, Shinji-kun."

Shinji blushed in embarrassment as the girl examined his body, despite what they had just done. "Ah… ha ha… yes. Can I… hold you for a while?"

Rei nodded and lay down beside her lover, curling into his body and draping an arm over his chest. She felt happiness wash over her soul as she felt the boy's arm rest against her back and his hand tenderly stroking her silky blue locks. She, of course, remained silent.

"Was it… ok for you? I mean… I wasn't too much of a bother, was I?" The third child inquired in a vulnerable tone.

The red-eyed girl looked up into the boy's cobalt eyes, surprised at his question and tone. "No, it was pleasant. I am happy to give you pleasure, Shinji-kun."

Shinji softly kissed Rei and smiled at her. "I'm glad. Ah… I want you to know that I didn't ask you to do that just because I was horny. I mean… I _was_ horny, yes, but… it wasn't as simple as that."

"I know." The first child affirmed.

"You probably think I'm strange." The blue-eyed boy stated half-jokingly.

"Yes." The blue-haired girl responded.

The third child blinked. It was not a statement he expected a reply from, let alone _that_ reply. "Oh." He said, crestfallen.

"I would not have it any other way, Shinji-kun." Rei said with a serious expression on her face.

"Oh!" Shinji smiled, surprise and happiness in his voice now.

The first child rested her head on the boy's shoulder again, enjoying the closeness. "What are your plans for the remainder of the day?" Normally she wouldn't ask, but she had her reasons.

"I just have my follow-up exam with Akagi-dono." The dark-haired boy replied. He bit out the doctor's name with a little more venom than he intended, still upset since she had attacked the girl he cherished most. "Other than that, I have no plans. Would you like to spend the day together?"

"Yes, but I cannot. I will be with Commander Ikari today, and likely part of tomorrow as well." Rei replied.

"Oh." Shinji responded, dejected. "Ah... then why did you ask?"

"To suggest that you spend the day with Asuka-chan." The red-eyed girl responded.

The third child nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. She was probably pretty lonely yesterday." He admitted guiltily.

"Indeed." The first child agreed.

The blue-eyed boy winced suddenly. "Damn, I'm so selfish! You did all that to pleasure me and I didn't even think to ask you if you wanted me to do anything for you!"

Rei blinked and looked at the third child for a moment before stating "I need to bathe. Would you mind preparing breakfast? I will need to leave soon so I am not late meeting the commander."

Shinji nodded, feeling even guiltier now. "Ah, yes of course."

The quiet blue-haired girl nodded and stood up. A few steps later and she entered the bathroom.

The third child felt terrible the entire time he prepared breakfast, and both pilots ate in silence.

Afterwards, Rei returned to the wash closet to brush her teeth. A few moments later, she started heading towards the door. She paused as she was slipping her shoes on and glanced back at Shinji. "Goodbye for now, Shinji-kun. Enjoy your day with Asuka-chan. Please give her my warm regards."

Shinji nodded with a friendly smile. '_She's opening up a bit, I think. A few weeks ago, she wouldn't have even bothered to say farewell… or think of Asuka's feelings.'_ Aloud, the boy replied "Hai, of course. Ah… and… tell my father that… I hope he is well."

Rei froze for a moment as she held the door ajar and looked back at her lover. She was shocked. "… Hai." She walked out, wondering what had happened to change the boy's animosity to… polite indifference? Genuine care? She did not know, but she wished she had the time to inquire about it, but she would already have to walk quickly to avoid being late.

Shinji sighed. "Forgiveness… Father, for Rei-chan, it is worth it. I hope you don't abuse my trust again."

* * *

Dr. Akagi paced back and forth in her office, going over in her mind all the perceived betrayals she had suffered through. They all seemed to center around two people… Ayanami Rei and Ikari Gendo. She turned her eyes towards one of the drawers in her desk and a plan started to form. "If Maya-chan won't help me… then I'll get my assistance from the 'late' Kaji."

She rifled through the drawer and pulled out the items she had taken from the spy before she had administered the amnesia drug. "Why thank you, Kaji-san. This will be most helpful." The doctor chuckled as she pocketed an access card.

Ritsuko looked at her phone for several moments, considering calling Shinji to meet her. "No, why bother? He's too wrapped around her little finger. And he already knows what she is. He's just like her. No matter… revenge is best served alone."

She walked confidently towards an elevator. In all appearances nothing was different about her. The doctor laughed softly as she pressed the elevator button to take her to the lowest level of NERV where the access to Terminal Dogma could be found. And through it, all the secrets of NERV.

After reaching the bottom level, Dr. Akagi approached the entrance to Terminal Dogma and swiped the access card through the reader. An evil smirk formed on the blonde's lips as entry was granted. "You may have revoked _my_ access to Terminal Dogma, Gendo-chan… but obviously your own is still quite valid. Thank you again, Kaji-san." She cackled as she rode down the elevator, gazing down into the looming darkness beneath her.

When the elevator opened, she glanced nervously about, paranoid that the evil supreme commander of NERV was lurking in the shadows. After pausing for a few moments to guarantee she was indeed alone, an arrogant noise issued forth from her throat as she strode forward, intent on carrying out her devilish plot. Just before she entered the chamber that housed the Dummy Plug system, she looked around once more as a shiver ran up her spine. She scowled, feeling as if she were being watched by more than the security cameras that no doubt were focused on her.

"Even if you're looking at me right now, Gendo-chan, you won't get down here in time to save your precious little dolls." Ritsuko taunted the camera. She nearly gave the camera a rude gesture but decided against it. "No matter what you've done to me, you soulless bastard, I'm _still_ a lady." She huffed as she entered the chamber.

Dr. Akagi shuddered as she stared into the empty, impossibly joyous eyes of the Rei clones that occupied the Room of Gauf. "Is it the weight of a soul that brings sadness to a human, I wonder? Can you empty dolls experience fear, as you feel your flesh boil away? Let's find out." She picked up a remote control and laughed softly. "This is my revenge upon you, Aya… _Rei_. And my vengeance upon that monster you love so dearly for all the pain he has inflicted upon me." With a chilling laugh, she pressed the self-destruct switch and watched as the bodies began to disintegrate.

"What are you doing!" A sharp voice came from directly behind the blonde doctor.

A piercing shriek tore out from Ritsuko's mouth as she spun, raising a hand to her chest to calm her pounding heart. "You! You're too late, they're already returning to nothingness."

Kaoru frowned as she watched the clones of the first child fragment. A tear fell from his eye and he reached up to touch the thick glass holding the LCL fluid that the clones had been floating in, taking little notice of the boiling hot temperature. "Little sister… what have they done to you?" His lowered his head sadly, mourning the loss of the clones, despite their lack of souls. "Was it easy for you, doctor, to murder all these innocents? Have you no pity in your heart for them?"

Ritsuko backed away from the fifth child nervously, casting wary glances back towards the exit. "How did you get down here? There's no way the commander gave you access to this place."

The silver-haired boy turned his pitying gaze onto the woman. "Your heart is filled with nothing but rage and loneliness. Such a fragile creature you are… I can feel compassion even for _you_, Akagi-dono. It is not my place to pass judgment upon you, but fate, I am sure, will not be as kind. Have no doubt in your very soul that you are a murderer of innocent children, and there is very little that is viler than that."

Ritsuko smirked with a shake of her head. "I've done my research on you as well, dear boy. I know what you are. Why don't you use your powers, perhaps you'll even allow me to live long enough to see Gendo's whiny little brat crush the life out of you. Or maybe you'll reunite with Adam and end us all. I don't care either way anymore."

Kaoru smiled, casually placing his hands in his pockets. "I am in no hurry. Worry not, good doctor. You will live long enough for your precious commander to return the favor you've done him, I'm sure." He started turning to leave, but paused when doctor spoke.

"Tell me, Oh Last Angel, why have you and your brethren thrown yourselves upon our swords one after another? What drives you to merge with Adam? Is your existence coming to an end, as ours are?" Ritsuko inquired, raising an eyebrow curiously.

The boy turned his red eyes to the blonde woman, giving her a benevolent smile. "It was fated the moment we were born, that one day we would die. It is an inescapable facet of existence. To live _is_ to die. Even for us Messengers of the Divine, who ate of the Tree of Life. But one of us will avert that fate for our kind, perhaps. We shall see." He took a step to leave and was stopped again.

"Wait! You have the power to protect me… perhaps I could persuade you to?" Dr. Akagi offered, fear evident in her voice. She had been ready to die for her actions, but she figured fate might be providing her with an escape.

Kaoru's eyebrows rose up in surprise as he turned to look at the blonde doctor. "What makes you think I would protect you, after you just murdered all those innocent children? Or that I would protect any lilim, for that matter?"

Ritsuko glanced at the now empty vat of LCL fluid, trying to think of a way to convince the last angel to protect her from the wrath of Gendo Ikari. "They were soulless copies of Rei… abominations. Perhaps what I did was wrong, but if you don't help me, I won't live long enough to make amends."

The fifth child shrugged. "That is between you and your superiors, doctor. I am not the angel of redemption."

Dr. Akagi sighed, realizing it wouldn't be easy to convince the boy to guard her. "If you don't help me, I'll tell the others what you are and they'll kill you before you even have a _chance_ to seek out Adam."

The red-eyed boy laughed softly. "Are you trying to convince me to end your life myself, dear doctor? Tell them whatever you wish, it doesn't really matter."

'_Damn!'_ The woman grumbled internally. "Have you no compassion for me!"

"Of course. But that doesn't mean I feel the need to interfere with the affairs of the lilim. You committed a crime and you will be punished by your own kind. That is the way of things." Kaoru pointed out.

'_Double damn!'_ She felt like screaming. Desperate, she tried one last ploy, though it offended her sensibilities. "Tell me, Nagisa is it? Have you ever been with a human woman?" A touch of a smile came to her lips when the fifth child quirked an eyebrow up. "You _are_ beautiful, and I admit a certain fascination… to sleep with an angel. You seem to have a kind soul… aren't you curious what it would be like to be one with me? All I ask is that you protect me, and you can do anything you wish to me. Does that interest you?"

"Should it?" The angel inquired, in a tone that suggested he really didn't know.

"Oh come now… think of it. Aren't you curious what it feels like to be inside a woman? You have our form… I assume you have our desires as well. It would be such a simple matter for you to keep me alive… and in return, you get to enjoy what my body can do for you." Ritsuko offered, seductively unclasping the top two buttons of her blouse to display a tantalizing amount of cleavage. "Interested yet?"

Kaoru considered it for a few moments and then shrugged. "Not really, no. However, there is always the possibility I will change my mind before the end. I shall safeguard your life for now. I made a promise to someone, well… to myself _for_ someone, rather. I intend to keep it, but it requires that I stay dormant for a while longer. Perhaps we can find a way to occupy ourselves that won't require you to prostitute yourself to me."

Dr. Akagi clenched her jaw and fists, offended by the angel's words, but bit the resentment down. "Perhaps. I have a lot of questions for you… perhaps I can answer some of yours, as well?"

That interested the fifth child more than bodily pleasures. He smiled and held his hand out. "Take my hand then, dear doctor. Your would-be jailors approach."

Shaking timidly, Ritsuko reached out to take the angel's hand.

* * *

I must say I channeled my inner-Shinji on that extremely long self-deliberation of his, and I feel rather proud of it. Also, I got to sneak-attack you all with a very sexy scene. Muahahahah! Next chapter: Shinji and Asuka go out on a date. Meanwhile Rei spends the day with Gendo. Won't that be fun? Yes it will. Byebye, now!


	27. Your Void In Me

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Nicht mehr sein, das war ihr Wunsch. Aber nicht mehr.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 27: Your Void In Me

Shinji paused outside of Dr. Akagi's lab, taking a few deep breaths to calm the fires of rage that threatened to overtake him. "Don't kill the doctor… don't kill the doctor…" He muttered to himself. Briefly he wondered why the blonde woman was his doctor in the first place. '_She doesn't have a medical degree, does she? I know she treated Rei, but given her unique physiology… wait… is that why she's always overseen my medical care and given my physicals? Asuka never had to see her… did Dr. Akagi know about me being a clone? If so, why did she seem so surprised to find out about my S2 organ? Something doesn't fit here. Or maybe she did see Asuka and I just never noticed? It's not like Asuka talks about herself all that much… well, neither do I, so it's not like I can say anything about that.'_ He sighed, concentrating on staying calm, and entered the lab.

"Good morning… Maya-san?" Shinji blinked in surprise, seeing the pretty young captain sitting at Dr. Akagi's desk, looking lost in thought.

Captain Ibuki blinked and looked at the third child. "Shinji-kun? Is everything all right?"

"I… don't know. I had a follow-up exam with Akagi-dono this morning." The blue-eyed boy responded, glancing around to confirm that the doctor was indeed not there.

Maya frowned when the doctor was mentioned. "She didn't come in today." The computer geek was afraid the woman had done something stupid and had been shot or worse, but she kept that to herself. "I can take a blood sample, at least. If she was going to do anything else, I can't really help you with that."

Shinji nodded and sat down on one of the examination tables close to the captain and tried desperately not to blush when she bent over to retrieve the materials she'd need for a blood draw. He couldn't help but blush when she glanced back and noticed him staring at her backside. "Uh… um… do you think… ah… is Akagi-dono sick?" He stuttered out, trying to cover for his gawking.

"I don't know, Shinji-kun." Maya replied. "It'll be easier on the both of us if you lie down."

The third child blinked a few times, surprised by her attitude. She should have either admonished him for looking, or teased him, or… _something_. Once he was lying down, he looked at the captain as she tied a tourniquet around his arm. "Are you all right, Maya-san?" He inquired.

Maya nodded. "I was out sick until this morning. Technically I'm supposed to still be out but I was concerned about Akagi-dono."

Shinji knew something was wrong, then. She didn't call the doctor sempai. Then he remembered the doctor's comment about keeping his fluids to himself. '_Uh oh…'_ The boy coughed and looked up at the captain. "Maya-san… is she upset with you… because she found out about… what we did?"

Captain Ibuki paused before rubbing the pilot's arm with an alcohol swab. "Yes. But she was angry about something else more… something to do with Ayanami-chan. Apparently they had some sort of argument."

The third child sighed. '_Yes… and the doctor tried to kill my Rei-chan.'_ He thought. Then aloud he said, "She mentioned it." He couldn't hide the anger in his voice.

Maya nodded as she took the blood sample, waiting until she was done before she added to her previous statement. "Sorry if that hurt. Ah… and there's something else. Is it true that you and Ayanami are… involved?"

Shinji blushed in embarrassment. "Ah… yes. At least, I think so." He didn't want to say that he thought the girl was trying to decide between him and Asuka. He wasn't even sure that was really the case or not. "It was after um… that day with us. I wasn't _involved_ with her then."

"But she knows about it." The captain stated.

The blue-eyed boy blinked. "How did you know that? I just told her yesterday."

"Akagi-dono said that was what started their argument. She said Ayanami threatened me and her over it." Maya explained.

Shinji was shocked. "Rei-chan threatened you? And Akagi-dono? That doesn't make any sense. First of all, we're talking about Rei, the least likely person to ever threaten somebody, _ever_. Secondly, it was after Akagi-dono tried to strangle Rei to death that I told her."

Now it was Captain Ibuki's turn to be shocked. "She… hurt Ayanami-chan? Oh no…" The lady shook her head, horrified. "She did seem angry and was talking about being betrayed. Oh sempai… how could you?" She sighed, turning to place the blood sample into the analysis machine like Dr. Akagi always did, after taking a drop of it onto a slide.

After a few moments of thought, she glanced back at the boy. "Akagi-dono said Ayanami already knew about what we did. Assuming she wasn't lying, she said Ayanami could sense your energy in me, or something crazy like that."

The third child thought about that. It made sense. "She didn't seem surprised when I told her… but then, this _is_ Ayanami we're talking about."

Maya nodded and looked at the sample under the microscope. "Wow… now that is a lot of blue cells. I was looking at Ayanami's earlier and your blood looks almost the same… though she probably had more. Your S2 organ may be smaller but I don't think it affects the energy output."

Shinji smiled, remembering Rei's words. "Ayanami said… size doesn't matter."

Captain Ibuki smirked mischievously. "That must be very comforting for you."

The blue-eyed boy paled and his mouth dropped open in shock. He looked down at his waist. "Oh… that's… ah…"

"Males really are insecure about that sort of thing, aren't they? I was teasing you, Shinji-kun." Maya laughed softly. It took her mind off of wondering what trouble her sempai might be getting into, which was a good thing.

Shinji blushed. "Well, how would you feel if someone insinuated that your breasts were too small? I mean, compared to Katsuragi-shousa…" He blurted out defensively.

The captain shook her head. "Shinji-kun, compared to her, we're _all_ flat-chested. I don't have any insecurity over the size of my breasts. Now… my feet on the other hand…"

The third child looked down at the girl's feet. "They look fine to me."

"What about my legs?" She asked, twisting one leg at the hip from side to side.

The blue-eyed boy coughed nervously. "They're very nice."

Maya smirked and turned around. "And my butt? Do you think it's too small?"

Shinji turned red and looked away. "You're teasing me, Maya-san."

"I know. You're cute when you blush." The captain giggled.

"Ah… I think I should ah… get going." The young pilot stated nervously.

Maya shook her head and laughed softly. "Shinji-kun… still so shy around me? That's _so_ adorable."

"I'm going to go now, then…" Shinji started edging towards the door.

"Shinji-kun, I haven't dismissed you yet." The captain stated seriously.

The third child blinked. '_Uh oh…'_ He coughed nervously and looked back at the computer geek. "May I have permission to leave, Ibuki-taii?"

"Denied. Sit down." Maya ordered.

'_Oh god… no._ _Not again!'_ The boy paled and wondered how much trouble he'd get in if he ran for it. "Ah… yes ma'am."

"I'm not teasing you right now, Shinji-kun. We have to sort this out. Now, Akagi-dono said that Ayanami threatened her, and me. And that she was rubbing it in the doctor's face about how she had you and your father wrapped around her little finger. Now, that didn't sound like Ayanami to me, and it still doesn't. But Akagi-dono is the head researcher of Project E and Ayanami is just a pilot. If this is a matter of her word versus Ayanami's, then they will likely take the doctor's word over Rei's." Maya explained.

Shinji almost sighed in relief, as he had been almost sure the captain had an ulterior motive in mind. '_I need to get my mind out of the gutter.'_ He chastised himself. But the lady's words got him worried. "But… my father wouldn't take Akagi-dono's word over Rei's!"

"Probably not, but he may not have a choice. What would people say if he took the word of his ward over a respected leader of this organization? There is a committee from the UN that oversees NERV. If they heard about it…" The captain trailed off, her point made.

The third child shook his head. "But… she attacked Ayanami! I saw the bruise where that bitch strangled her! It went all the way around her neck!"

"Has anyone else seen it? With how fast she's healing now, there's probably no visual evidence of it remaining. And even if there was, she might claim that Ayanami attacked her and she was defending herself." Captain Ibuki pointed out.

Shinji rubbed his temples, worried now. "Do you think Akagi-dono will make that claim?"

Maya shrugged. "I really don't know. When she came to see me last night, she was angry. She tried to talk me into helping her do something… awful to Ayanami. She wanted revenge, she said. She wants to take her frustrations out on Rei… and your father. I don't think she's in her right mind. The Akagi-dono I know wouldn't have done _any_ of this." The captain shook her head, bewildered about what could have caused the doctor to take such a downward spiral. "If she does report Ayanami, I will testify on her behalf. Perhaps with my report on her mental state, Ayanami's report on what actually happened and your corroboration of the physical evidence you observed, it will be enough. Let's hope it doesn't come to that, though."

The third child nodded. "Hai."

"That's it, then. You are dismissed, Shinji-kun, unless there's something else on your mind?" The captain gave the pilot a playful smirk.

Shinji blushed and shook his head. "See you, Maya-san. At the next sync test, if not sooner." He waved and started walking out, wondering why all the women in his life enjoyed teasing him so much. Well, most of the women, at any rate.

"Give Ayanami a kiss for me, won't you?" Maya called out to the boy right as he was leaving the lab, stifling a giggle.

The third child's mouth dropped open in shock. '_Not Maya too?'_ He hurried away, intent on getting home and trying to get images of Sapphic kissing out of his mind. '_I must run away! I must run away!'_

* * *

Asuka was bored. After she came home from her therapy session, she found an empty house awaiting her. "That Dummkopf is still going at it with Wonder Girl?" She wondered aloud, frustration creasing her eyes.

The second child opened up the refrigerator and an impish grin formed on her lips as she looked at the beer. "Just how bored am I?" She asked aloud in an innocent voice, but then her tone turned almost demonic as she pulled out a six-pack. "Bored enough to drink this sludge that Misato thinks is Bier." She cackled as she closed the refrigerator.

The red-haired girl plopped down near the television and picked up one of her bottles of medication. "Time for my happy pills." Then she noticed a big warning label on the side of the bottle. Luckily for her, it was printed both in Japanese and in English. "Warning, absolutely do not mix with alcohol. Results can prove fatal."

Asuka's right eye twitched. She growled and got up and placed the beer back into the refrigerator. Once it was closed, she kicked the innocent appliance. "The whole world is against me." She griped.

After she took her medication, she flipped on the television. Luckily, some of the stations were back on the air, so she didn't have to watch badgers mating. Unfortunately, however, there wasn't anything better on. "Old Tommy (British) sitcom about some fat oaf running around a lot and looking up skirts. Some cartoon about little kids fighting each other with playing cards… home improvement show… yeah like I'd be interested in that…" She paused when she came on a show that looked strangely familiar. "Is that… an Eva? They made a show based on us?"

She raised an eyebrow as she watched some guy in a rubber suit, obviously meant to be an Angel, trashing buildings. Then it showed actors portraying people that were obviously meant to be them summoning the Evas and somehow jumping straight into them and attacking. "What… the… hell! How come that girl with the red-dyed hair has some humongous breasts! Isn't this supposed to be a kids' show! And is that how they see me, as some Flittchen (floosy) with over-sized melons for breasts!"

The red-haired girl growled and flipped off the TV set in disgust. "Diese Idioten! (Idiots!)" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation. She sighed and looked around. "I'm bored." She complained to the empty house. Her ears perked up, however, when the front door opened.

"I'm home!" Shinji called.

Asuka blinked in surprise. "Hey, Dummkopf. I'm in here!" She called, daring to get her hopes up that the boy wasn't just picking up some spare clothes and going back to Rei's house.

The third child walked in and smiled. "Ah good, I was hoping you'd be here." He greeted.

'_Of course I'm here, where the hell else would I be? Most of the city is nothing but rubble!'_ She thought. Then aloud, she couldn't stop herself from being obnoxious. "Wonder Girl kick you out already?"

"No, nothing like that. She had plans with my father." Shinji replied. He saw the flash of indignation in her eyes and knew he said that the wrong way, so he quickly covered for himself. "Which is good because it gives me time to spend with you, Asuka-chan."

'_Don't fall for that… don't fall for that…'_ Asuka smiled, in spite of herself. '_Damn it! Why does Shinji have to be so damned… adorable?'_ "Well good, I'm so bored I was contemplating counting the cracks in the walls."

Shinji winced, knowing that was likely what the girl did the day before without having anyone to spend time with and barely anything being left open in the way of entertainment. "Would you like to go out and find something to do?"

"On a date?" The German girl asked hopefully. '_Damn it, don't sound so desperate! Have some pride! What is wrong with you tonight? And why am I talking to myself in the second person in my own thoughts!'_

The blue-eyed boy paused for a second. "Ah… well…"

Asuka stared at the boy, anger edging its way into her expression.

"Sure!" Shinji cried suddenly, not wanting to suffer the girl's wrath. "If that's all right with you?"

The red-haired girl narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "What would Wonder Girl think about that, though?"

"She's ok with it." The third child replied confidently. '_Though why, I'm not sure…'_

"Oh… do you mind waiting while I shower and get changed, then?" The German girl inquired.

Shinji shook his head. "No, go ahead. Take your time, Asuka-chan."

Asuka smiled, feeling a little giddy. '_Why do I have to act like such a silly little thing? Damn it!'_ She showered and glanced at the door every now and then. "Shinji, if you open that door, I won't even mind…" She whispered, apprehension and a little hope in her voice.

The blue-eyed boy, however, was sitting in front of the television. "Whoa… I think that red-haired girl's breasts are even bigger than Misato-san's!" He stared in awe.

The second child paused as she was heading to her room to dress, a towel wrapped loosely around her body. She looked at Shinji's back for a few moments but then noticed his eyes were glued to the television screen. Her royal-blue eyes trailed up to see what his attention was fixated on. A moment later she was clenching her fists in an attempt to quell her rage. '_I'm in the shower, which I can't even lock him out of, _**naked**_, and he's in here staring at some busty girl's oversized breasts!'_ She paused for a moment as another realization entered her mind. '_Though… it _is _the red-haired girl he's staring at, and not the blue-haired one that's meant to be Rei… interesting.'_

Asuka shrugged and went into her room to get dressed. She looked through her closet and smiled. "I've been saving this dress for a special occasion… I'll give him something better to look at than that breast-monster." A short while later, after she was dried off, dressed, and her hair was dry and brushed, she applied a touch of perfume that she had… _borrowed_ from Misato. "Die höchste Perfektion! (Ultimate perfection)" She stated confidently, doing a twirl in front of the mirror and flashing her reflection a flirtatious smile. Then she walked out and cleared her throat to get the boy's attention. "I'm ready when you are, Shinji-kun."

Shinji flipped the television set off and stood up. He turned to look at the German girl and a moment later his eyes were bugged out, he was blushing and his mouth was hanging open in shock. "What… are you wearing?" He exclaimed, blinking in a vain attempt to clear his eyes and find her wearing something else.

"It's a Dirndl. Do you like it?" The blue-eyed girl inquired mischievously. The Dirndl was crimson over white, and also had a frilly white apron wrapped around it. She did a slow twirl to give the boy the full view. It was also low-cut and provided a tantalizing view of the girl's cleavage, which was enhanced by the tight bodice. (AN: If you don't know what a Dirndl is, it's a traditional German folk dress. Do a google image search on them, they're pretty.)

The third child blinked and swallowed nervously. "You look… gorgeous."

'_Ein voller Erfolg!_ _(A complete success!)'_ Asuka thought. "So are we ready to go, then?"

Shinji blinked again. He glanced away to give himself a moment to clear his head then turned back and nodded. "Yes…"

As the two pilots walked towards the undamaged (or rather, the less damaged) section of Tokyo-3, Asuka glanced over at the blue-eyed boy several times, noticing his eyes kept straying over to her. "So what's Wonder Girl doing with the commander?"

The third child shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" The German girl repeated, surprised.

"She just said she'd be with him overnight." Shinji replied. "I'm curious also, but she was in a rush. And I got the impression that it wasn't really my business to know."

"Maybe she and your dad are making wedding plans for you." The second child teased.

The blue-eyed boy froze, horror etched on his face. "What? But… we're too young for marriage!"

Asuka smirked. "Well you never know… maybe he taught her that if she had sex with a guy, that she should immediately make wedding plans."

The third child shook his head and continued walking. "We haven't had sex, though."

The red-haired girl glanced at the boy. "You don't have to lie to me about it."

Shinji frowned. "I'm not lying. Well… ok. We did do a little something, but I don't think it would count as far as making wedding plans are concerned."

The girl's blue eyes narrowed in confusion. "What'd you do that wouldn't count? You watch each other masturbate or something?"

The third child blushed and glanced away. "A little more than that. So what do you want to do?" He attempted to change the subject.

"Oh, come now, Shinji-kun. Spill it. What'd you do?" Asuka pressed. "If you can't tell your best friend in the whole wide world, who _can_ you tell?" She gave the boy a cheeky grin.

Shinji looked at the girl, wondering if she was serious or not. "You actually want to hear this?"

The second child nodded. "I can handle it. Entertain me with your lusty tale."

The blue-eyed boy blushed again. "Ah… it wasn't that lusty. When I woke up her hand was kind of on me… and I was already kind of… up, if you know what I mean. Morning, you know? And she was asleep and I couldn't reach down and move her hand so I tried to wake her up… she kind of shifted a few times and that made it worse."

"She groped you in her sleep? That's it?" Asuka inquired, not believing it was as simple as that.

The third child glanced away nervously, wishing he could run away or at least change the subject. "No. When she did finally wake up, I asked her to move her hand. She misunderstood me, and instead of taking her hand off me… she started rubbing me for real. And then… it led to her… ah… relieving the tension with her hand. You know what I mean."

The second child nodded. "So she jerked you off. Then what?"

Shinji shrugged. "We cuddled for a little while then she took a shower, I cooked breakfast, we ate, then she left to go meet up with my father."

Asuka stopped walking, grabbing the boy's arm to halt him as well. "Wait… you made her do all that work to get you off and you didn't even return the favor? That's pretty _selfish_."

The third child started panicking. "No, it wasn't like that! I asked her if she wanted me to do anything and she just… said she needed to shower. I would have been happy to do anything she wanted."

The German girl slapped her forehead and sighed. "Dummkopf! Have you learned nothing about our fair Rei-chan? You can't ask her something like that and expect an answer. She _hates_ answering questions like that."

The blue-eyed boy blinked. "What?"

"She doesn't just come right out and tell you what she wants!" Asuka exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "You kind of have to guess with her. Actually, in my experience, she doesn't like to be asked at all, except for asking her to do something. If you want to do something with her, just do it. I'm pretty sure she'd stop you if she didn't want it. Haven't you figured out that she's like… even more passive than _you_?"

The third child blinked again.

"Idiot! You _are_ hopeles_s_. You do realize that, right?" The second child inquired, shaking her head in disgust.

Shinji frowned and shook his head. "I think it was just that she was in a hurry."

The red-haired girl sighed, but a moment later an idea came to her. "An experiment, then. Take a good look at me, ok?" She paused a moment as the boy blushed and glanced away nervously, then his gaze returned to her and his eyes roamed appreciatively. "Ok, now tell me, what do you want to do?"

The third child glanced away timidly again. "Ah… see a movie?"

"Bockmist! (Bullshit basically… or rather ram poop)" Asuka retorted. "You want to kiss me. Or grab my boobs, or maybe even my ass. Hell, you might even be thinking 'Damn, I would love it if we could duck into an alley so I fuck this sexy girl until she's screaming my name' or something like that."

Shinji blushed and looked away. "I… ah… well…" He was completely flustered.

"But you would never come right out and say that, would you? I've had my pussy in your face, and you still can't say that to me." The second child pointed out. She winced at the memory of that day, but she had to accept what she did in her past and move on, or so Dr. Kagame claimed.

The blue-eyed boy frowned at the memory also, not because of what she did to him, necessarily, but what he did to her in retaliation. It was hardly his finest hour, either. "Even so, I wouldn't just say that. And… just because I have a lusty thought doesn't mean I'd act on it without invitation."

"See? You just made my point." Asuka stated triumphantly. "You would never say 'Hey Asuka, I'm horny. Let's fuck.' even if you thought it. Hell, you probably wouldn't have even asked Rei to jerk you off if she hadn't already been groping you. And as I said, she's far more passive than you are. You might occasionally get the guts to ask for something, or make a bold statement, but she _never_ does. She lives in a shit-hole apartment probably because she never thought to _ask_ for a better one."

Shinji scratched his head, still embarrassed by the conversation. "But I can't just come right out and ask her to let me do something like that… or ask her to do something to me."

The red-haired girl shrugged in response. "Then she never will."

The third child sighed and looked down the street in the direction they had been heading. He couldn't think of a decent reply to that because he knew it was true.

"Hopeless. I'm going to do you a favor, mein Freund. Follow me." She glanced around then started walking down an alley between two undamaged buildings. Without even looking back, she knew the boy was following her silently and obediently.

She turned into a small alcove, turned to face the third child and pressed herself back against the stone wall. There was a door next to her, but it was locked with a chain. They were completely hidden. Even if someone walked down the street and looked into the alley, they would have seen nothing. In fact, the only way someone would be able to see them was if they walked down the alley as well. "Now, no one can see us. There aren't even any windows around here, even if this area wasn't completely deserted. So… do something to me."

Shinji's eyes widened and he glanced nervously around. "Huh? Like what?"

Asuka shrugged. "Your choice. Anything you want."

The third child blushed and glanced around again before stepping forward until he was in front of her. He reached out tentatively then dropped his arm back down to his side. He looked around again then leaned in closer and pressed his lips to the red-haired girl's.

The German girl started reaching up to pinch the boy's nose closed, but forced her arm to stay at her side. His hot breath still tickled her a little, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the first time they kissed. She tilted her head slightly and deepened the kiss, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment.

A few seconds later, Shinji backed away and blushed. "That was nice." He stated with a silly grin plastered on his face.

The second child grinned. "Ja, it was. I'm glad you didn't run away." She paused for a moment then gave the boy an impish grin. "Of course, you might be kicking yourself in a minute, since you could have felt me up… or hell, even pulled my panties down and fucked me. But it _was_ a nice kiss."

The third child's mouth dropped open in shock. "I could have?"

"I said _anything_, didn't I?" The German girl pointed out, raising her hands up to do an expressive shrug.

Shinji blushed and looked away towards the ground. "I wouldn't want to lose my virginity in an alley."

"It wouldn't have been my ideal choice either, but you still could have felt me up, or even pushed me down on my knees and pleasured yourself with my mouth. Or any number of other choices. But it was a _nice_ kiss." The second child smirked, intentionally teasing the boy. "Rei mentioned she saw a movie with Ibuki-taii, so there must be a theater open. Want to go see a movie?"

The third child blinked in confusion, both from the girl's words and the sudden change of subject. "Ah… sure." He agreed. He cleared his throat and discretely adjusted his pants, willing his eager body to calm down. "It's probably the one near the restaurants that are still open." He backed away nervously and turned to walk back to the street.

"Poor Shinji-kun… he still could have made a move on me just then, and he missed another golden opportunity. Let's see if a good action movie is playing." Asuka teased as she walked towards the street.

Shinji froze, staring at the girl's back as she walked away. "What? Damn it!" He grumbled as he caught up to his fellow pilot. As they walked he glanced at the girl several times and then spoke up. "It's probably for the best, I don't know if I should have even done anything like that. I probably shouldn't have even kissed you, but I don't know. Rei doesn't seem to mind it, but I can't really tell. It may just be that she doesn't want to voice her displeasure in me."

"I don't know. She didn't express any qualms when I was kissing her. Maybe she's just not the jealous type." The second child suggested.

The blue-eyed boy glanced over at the girl, considering that. It certainly made sense. "She said she doesn't care who I share my body with, as long as she has my heart… so you're probably right. But… just because she doesn't mind it, doesn't mean I should be doing it. I'm courting her now, I even have my father's permission since he's her guardian. I can't just go around screwing every girl that thinks I'm cute just because Rei wouldn't mind."

Asuka shrugged. "I would hope you'd at least care about the ones you did sleep with, though. If you do sleep with anyone else, that is."

The third child didn't comment on that, but he didn't think it was likely. Even if his blue-haired beauty didn't mind. "So… you and Rei-chan have been kissing?" He inquired curiously.

The red-haired girl nodded. "A few times, ja."

"Oh. I thought you were just teasing me." Shinji replied in an ambiguous tone.

The second child glanced over at the other pilot and raised an eyebrow. "Are you jealous?"

The blue-eyed boy considered that for a few moments then shook his head. "No."

Asuka made a thoughtful noise before asking, "How come?"

The third child thought about it for over a minute as they neared the theater. He looked over at the girl beside him and shrugged. "I guess because it was with you."

The German pilot blinked a few times and fell silent, no response to that seemed to be forthcoming. When they reached the theater they looked at the movies playing. "How about that one? I heard it was a good samurai flick."

Shinji nodded. "Sounds great. I'm just glad you don't want to see a love story… I've got enough drama in that area already."

Asuka laughed softly and shook her head. "A love story? Oh, that sounds like a great idea! Let's see that one instead!"

"No." The third child stated firmly.

The blue-eyed girl raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Shinji-kun… you said no to me?"

"That's right." He affirmed. '_If Rei can say no, so can I._' Shinji thought.

Asuka grinned. "There's hope for you yet, Third Child."

* * *

Rei entered the chamber containing the Dummy Plug system, which was where she had agreed to meet the commander the last time they saw one another. Gendo was leaning over a console, tapping away at the keys and scowling down at the readout. He frowned, hearing the soft tapping of approaching feet and wondered if Dr. Akagi had returned to gloat. He turned to stare into the red eyes of the first child. Both remained silent for a few moments, but when he noticed her eyes shifting to gaze behind him, he spoke quickly. "Rei, step outside. I will come out and talk to you there."

The girl's red eyes shifted back to meet the commander's. "The sunflower has become the orchid." She stated ambiguously.

Commander Ikari stared emotionlessly at his ward. After a stretch of silence that would have made anyone else uncomfortable, he spoke. "Yes, that she has."

Rei approached the LCL filled tank that had once housed her sisters/clones and raised a pale hand up to press against the cool glass. She stared into the amber liquid silently and then turned her head to fix her red eyes on the commander. "You… destroyed them? Because the Dummy Plug was no longer a viable option?" Her voice was unreadable, but Gendo could see a seething anger deep in the crimson depths of the first child's eyes.

If Commander Ikari was offended by her accusation, he gave no indication of it. "Dr. Akagi entered this lab with a stolen keycard and boiled… them." He hesitated a moment on that last word, deciding between 'your sisters' and 'the dummies' but instead chose a simple pronoun. "Before security and I could reach her, she somehow escaped this chamber and installation."

The first child turned her gaze back into the Room of Gauf. She knew why the doctor had done it and it was giving her an emotion she had never experienced before and was unsure of what it was. "Ritsuko has no honor. She is dead already, even if her body does not know it yet." The girl stated softly, surprised afterwards by the edge in her voice.

Gendo frowned, turning his attention towards a sound he heard, like cracking glass. He wondered if somehow the doctor had been hiding in the room the entire time, and was simply missed by both security and him when they searched the room. He turned his attention back to the blue-haired girl and surprise forced its way through his normally stoic mask. "Rei?"

Rei fixed her gaze on the commander and it wasn't until after she heard the crunching glass behind her that she saw the concern and apprehension in his eyes. She turned to look at the spider web of cracks forming in the LCL tank and realized she had accidentally pushed her AT field out. She stared at the damage impassively, even as the cracking continued, obviously about to shatter the Room of Gauf.

"Rei!" Commander Ikari called out sharply, immediately gaining the slender girl's attention. "We're going to lunch. Now." When the girl wasn't walking quickly enough for his tastes, he reached down and grabbed the girl's small hand and literally pulled her behind himself as he hastily exited the room. A moment after the doors closed behind them, the sound of shattering glass and rushing liquid was heard. Still he continued walking, concerned that the water would somehow leak out of the chamber into the surrounding lab areas that occupied Terminal Dogma.

When they were riding up the elevator to the upper levels of NERV, the first child discretely rubbed her sore hand and arm, but remained silent. Gendo noticed, however, and realized he had pulled too hard and walked too fast for the girl to handle. "Your power is beginning to manifest." He observed.

"Yes sir." Rei replied.

The commander glanced down at the girl, wishing for a moment that she wasn't so unreadable. Shinji was easy. The boy couldn't hide his emotions if his life depended on it. "I've never seen you lose your temper before." He observed, his tone betraying nothing of his thoughts.

"No sir." The blue-haired girl replied.

Gendo was silent for a while before continuing. "Don't ever take your anger out on me, Rei."

The first child turned her head to look at the commander, but made no comment. She would never say it, but it was starting to annoy her, the way he talked down to her. She had realized long ago that she was nothing more than a tool to him, and it hadn't bothered her before, but now…

Commander Ikari frowned, unsure of how to take the silence and the girl's stoic expression. "Don't take your anger out on Shinji either." He added as an afterthought.

"I know, sir." Rei responded.

Gendo fixed his eyes onto the girl's crimson orbs. '_I know? Not 'yes sir', or even 'of course not', just 'I know'? And I received no response when I warned her against taking her anger out on me? This was not in my scenario.'_ The commander turned his gaze straight forward, seeing the girl do the same out of the corner of his eye. "Has my son talked to you yet?"

"Yes sir." The first child affirmed, knowing what he was asking her.

"Elaborate, please." The commander requested. Normally he would just order it, but he no longer had a replacement for Rei and he had never wanted to resort to using one to begin with. When a new Rei was awoken, she had memory loss and the changes in her personality could be unpredictable. Assuming, of course, that the same held true this time as it had with the first time they were forced to do it.

Furthermore, he never wanted to go through the pain of losing another child. It was after Rei's death that he had taken care of Shinji back from the boy's aunt and uncle. He wanted the boy close to him then, even if he no longer knew how to relate to the troubled child. And because the boy had been by his side two years later, he was killed. He would never forgive himself for that.

"Pilot Ikari came to my apartment and informed me that he wished to court me and that you had given him permission to do so. Therefore, we are now courting." Rei finally responded, interrupting the commander's train of thought before it reached its natural destination on his guilt and grief over Yui's death and absorption by Unit 01.

Gendo looked down at the girl beside him as they started walking towards the commander's private break room. "Understood. What else occurred?"

"We had a meal. We kissed. He held me. We slept together. This morning he cooked breakfast for me before I came here." The first child deadpanned.

The commander's expression became unreadable again. "You had sex with him, then?"

"No sir. He has not yet tried to have intercourse with me. I did pleasure him this morning before I showered, however." Rei explained.

Gendo frowned. He always told the girl she could tell him anything, even if it was embarrassing, but going into detail about her sexual escapades with his son was a little difficult to hear, even for him. "I will not interfere with your relationship with my son." He said instead of commenting on whether the girl could tell him things like that or not. It was good that she still felt comfortable sharing, but that didn't mean he had to like what she chose to share.

"Thank you, sir." The first child replied, her tone unreadable.

Commander Ikari glanced down at the girl after they sat down, his personal chef came in to find out what they wished to dine on, then he hurried away to give the two their privacy. "Has my son made any mention of what else we discussed, when he asked for permission to court you?"

"No sir. It never came up." Rei responded honestly. She was surprised the commander _had_ even discussed anything else with the young Ikari.

Gendo was disappointed in that. He was hoping Shinji would have told the girl about the change in his relationship with his son. "He has forgiven me. For everything."

This time, the normally stoic blue-haired girl was unable to hide her surprise as her eyes widened. "Has he? The Dummy Plug, also? And the death of the fourth child?"

"Yes, everything." Ikari affirmed proudly. He silently wished he had a camera to capture the expression on the girl's face for all eternity. Rarely did he see such an emotional display since her re-awakening. Unlike the first Rei, who was quite expressive, perhaps too much so at times, this Rei was stoic, quiet and introspective to the point of being shy.

Then the red-eyed girl did something that the commander had never seen her do in her current life. She actually smiled at him. "I am… glad? Yes, I am glad that all is well between you and Ikari-kun."

They both fell silent as the chef returned with their meals, then Gendo continued after the man had left again. "Do you still call him Ikari?"

"No sir. I use his personal name." Rei replied as she picked up her chopsticks and started eating her rice.

Gendo nodded. "You can call him whatever you like in front of me."

The first child paused to finish chewing her rice before responding. "Thank you, sir."

"I have something to show you when we are done eating. I think it is time for it." The commander stated.

The girl paused in her eating to fix her crimson eyes on the commander, wondering if it was a good thing or not. She knew it likely had to do with the Human Instrumentality Project, though she was still unsure of her exact role in the events, especially now that Unit 00 was in pieces. She knew the man wouldn't divulge any information until he was ready to, however. So she resumed her meal, though worry was making her stomach upset.

After lunch was finished, the Commander Ikari stood up and turned away from the girl. "Follow me." He ordered as he started walking, not even looking back to make sure the girl complied.

Rei followed the man silently, though she felt uneasy when they took the elevator back down to Terminal Dogma. Soon they came to a bulkhead door with a sign next to it indicating it was the LCL plant. A moment later, the door was opened by the commander's pass card and the first child was greeted by the familiar sight of Adam.

The commander stepped forward onto the walkway overlooking the angel and the reservoir of LCL that lay at the bottom of the vast chamber. "You have been here before." The commander stated. She had indeed been down in this room twice already, but both times she was in her Eva. Once to plant the Lance of Longinus in the angel's chest, the second time to retrieve it to save Asuka's life.

"Yes sir." Rei replied.

Gendo fixed his eyes onto the angel that was crucified and masked, his face expressionless. "You were told that this angel is Adam. In fact, everyone but Professor Fuyutsuki and I believe this to be Adam."

The first child turned her head to look up at the commander's face. Obviously he had lied to everyone, but for what purpose? "It is not Adam." She stated more than questioned.

"It is, in fact, Lilith. We discovered her even before Adam, as she was… slumbering here in the GeoFront where humanity was born. I am sure you have wondered how we cloned you with Lilith's DNA when no mention of her contact was ever made." The commander explained.

The girl turned her crimson eyes back to the angel and stared at it impassively. "So this is the instrument of my rebirth." She commented without emotion.

"She is more than that, Rei." Commander Ikari stated ominously. "You are, in fact, a clone of Lilith."

"I know, sir." The first child responded. That was not news to her, so what was this all about?

Gendo shook his head. "No, you don't. You were told that you were cloned from the little girl that was killed by one of the researchers here. While that is true, it is not the whole truth. You were a clone to begin with. You are a direct clone of the Lilith you see before you."

That got the blue-haired girl's attention. She turned her gaze back onto the commander, her face still stoic, but disbelief was in her eyes. "Sir?"

The commander leaned forward and rested his elbows on the railing, staring at the huge angel before him. "Some time after we made contact with Adam and forced him to revert to his embryonic form utilizing the Lance of Longinus, the mission of Gehirn was to resurrect the angels in a form we could use. The Evas were the grand plan, but you were an alternative. Actually, at the time we believed that only you would be able to pilot the Evas. We cloned you directly from Lilith. We had to give you human form, but that proved relatively simple since the difference between a human's genome and an angel's is only 0.11. All we had to do was… fill the gap. And thus, you were born."

Rei's eyes narrowed slightly as she was still confused. "But I was strangled to death by Naoko Akagi. I remember that quite clearly."

Gendo looked down at his ward, surprised that she remembered the person responsible. She had always known it was a woman, but had never given any indication that she remembered who in particular her murderer was. "Yes, that is true. We were able to salvage your memories and your soul and place them into one of your clones. Your personality changed, however. And you also experienced large gaps in your memory. It was… a tragedy, in more ways than one."

"Sir?" The first child questioned.

"You… or she rather, always called me Papa." Ikari explained, his voice betraying a hint of the underlying grief.

"I don't remember." Rei replied, for the first time in her life actually yearning for the memories she had lost.

Gendo nodded. "I know. You became so cold and distant after we revived you. It had a similar effect when we were forced to use the same process on Shinji. He was never entirely happy since he witnessed… what happened to Yui. And I was so lost in my own grief that I couldn't face him. I had him move back in with me, shortly after your… death. I needed to be around him, but I couldn't connect with him. Truthfully, I didn't really try. He was… still quiet and thoughtful, but he had innocence in him… even after all he had suffered through. After he was killed, however… he became even more withdrawn. He had never been very brave… but he developed an anxiety problem which he is only now recovering from. He also became quite angry and bitter, especially towards me. He ran away and it was two weeks before we found him. He refused to live with me and his aunt and uncle had grown feeble and could no longer care for a child, especially one as troubled as he was. I had no choice but to place him into the care of his teacher. I think he still despises that old man."

The red-eyed girl was shocked. Not only in the information she was hearing, but that the man was actually speaking this much and in this amount of detail to her. Normally their conversations didn't extend past an enquiry into her health and schooling. "Why…" She started to ask.

"Am I telling you all this?" The commander finished for her. After she nodded, he looked back at the crucified angel. "I am happy that you have are bringing my son out of his shell… and that perhaps he is doing the same for you. But, as things stand now, you have no future. Humanity is dying out. I'm sure you've heard that the birth rates around the world have dropped more and more with each passing year since the Second Impact. Soon… they will cease altogether. Project E was initiated to artificially evolve the human race, so that we may continue to survive. You are an integral part of that plan, as is Shinji. You have long known that you were important to my plans… but now it is time that you knew what those are. I cannot force you to help me, to help _humanity_ achieve a second genesis. But I can request it, as humbly as I must."

Rei blinked.

"I will explain it to you in detail. Afterwards, I want you to consider my words carefully. Consider Shinji as well, for without the second genesis, he will not have a future either. Just as the dinosaurs died out following the First Impact, so to will humans die because of the Second. We were fated to perish even before the Second Impact, but through those fires we gained the means to our rebirth, just as the phoenix rises again from its own ashes." Gendo stated. He turned to face the first child, gauging her reaction to his words thus far. "Will you listen to what I have to say? As I said, I do not expect a decision immediately."

Rei considered the request silently. Shinji had forgiven the man, and possibly placed his trust into his father once again. If his words were true, the boy she loved had no future. For him, she would do whatever was necessary. It was not a hard decision. "I will listen." She affirmed.

Gendo nodded. "Then let us go somewhere more comfortable so that we can talk." He walked back through the doors leading into the lab area of Terminal Dogma and then towards the elevator, followed closely by the quiet red-eyed girl.

* * *

Next chapter: The rest of Shinji and Asuka's "date". The next day, they get together with Rei for some pilot camaraderie. Stay tuned for the party. Teehee Buhbye.


	28. Memory, a Haunted Ocean

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Can you believe that I have a webpage bookmarked on the proper usage of "lie" vs. "lay"? haha I hate using the word because often the correct usage of lie _sounds_ wrong. Bleh. As an added note to German-speakers: Rei's German-usage was intentionally left 'technically correct but not how a native-German would say it', to reflect the fact that she is neither a native speaker, nor all that practiced. She likely only learned to speak German from books, after all.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 28: Memory, a Haunted Ocean

Shinji shuddered as the two pilots were leaving the movie theater. "That movie was a little more… bloody than I thought."

Asuka grinned. "Yeah! Like when the samurai cut that guy from shoulder to waist… a fountain of blood! What a great effect!"

The third child stared at the red-haired girl, horror plastered on his face. "You're… not serious!"

The second child nodded. "Ja, of course I'm serious. It didn't even look like it was a made-up dummy that was cut." She paused when she noticed the dismayed expression on the blue-eyed boy's face. "Shinji-kun… I only liked it because I know it wasn't real. If I saw that actually happen, I'd be just as disgusted as you are. But I know the difference between reality and fiction. Well… _usually_."

Shinji frowned but nodded, accepting that explanation. "The sword-fighting was amazing, anyway. Like when the hero was fighting three other guys at the same time? I've never seen a sword move that fast!"

The German girl made a fist and a demonic smile crossed her lips. "I could probably defeat three times that number!" She boasted.

The third child froze as they were walking, a chill running down his spine. "Why… did you say that, Asuka-chan?"

Asuka stopped as well, turning to look at the boy in surprise. "What? You don't think I could?"

Shinji shook his head. "It's not that. It's just…" He raised his hand and pressed it to his forehead. "I just got the weirdest sense of déjà vu… it scared the crap out of me!"

The second child frowned in concern and stepped towards the boy to lay a comforting hand on his arm. "Why? Were you beaten up by a bunch of guys once, or something?"

The blue-eyed boy shook his head, leaning back against the stone wall of a nearby building. "No! Not me… you! That number… nine enemies… why is it so familiar? Asuka-chan… why do I… I don't understand any of this!"

The German girl shook her head. "Shinji-kun, calm down. You're probably just remembering a bad dream."

"No!" The third child protested, shaking his head with the heels of his hands pressed against his temples. "It's like that… remembering a bad dream, but it feels so real! What is this… feeling? Why am I so scared?"

Asuka grabbed the boy just under his ears and firmly planted her lips on his. She felt him stiffen and try to pull away, but the wall behind him prevented the movement. After a few moments, he relaxed and gave into the kiss, even returning it. She backed away slowly and smiled. "That calmed you down." The girl looked down and smirked. "Well, _most_ of you."

Shinji blushed and glanced around to make sure they weren't being watched, but the road was deserted. "I can't help that when a beautiful girl kisses me so abruptly."

The second child opened her lips to make another comment, then paused as her eyes widened in a sudden revelation. She pulled away from the boy and blushed. "Pervert." She growled, though her tone wasn't entirely convincing.

The blue-eyed boy glanced away and narrowed his eyes in confusion. "What were we talking about a minute ago?"

"Nothing important." Asuka replied. "Let's get something to eat then head back home. Unless you can think of somewhere else to go in this city that isn't a pile of rubble?"

Shinji considered that and an idea came to him. "The arcade near the school should be ok. I mean, the _school_ survived, right?"

The second child nodded. "You may be right. It's worth checking out. But first, let's fill my tummy with some tasty treats!"

After the two pilots entered one of the few remaining restaurants open they were surprised to see a large number of people already eating. "Lunch break at NERV?" The third child wondered aloud.

The German girl looked around and shook her head. "Most of them are off duty. Word must have gotten around about the restaurants that were still open. Most of them probably don't have time to cook their own meals and eating cafeteria food or ordering take-out gets old after a while."

"Like how it is for us whenever it's Misato-san's turn to 'cook'. I understand." The Shinji nodded. A few moments later, a harried looking hostess rushed over to show them to their table. "At least we didn't have to wait."

Asuka nodded as she looked at the menu. "So why do you think Rei is a vegetarian? She doesn't seem the type of person who cares _what_ she eats. But she almost turns green at the mere suggestion of eating meat."

The third child glanced up for a moment then back at the menu. "I really don't know. Maybe she got food poisoning once, or something. I still can't eat hamburgers. I got a bad case of food poisoning from some when I was six or seven. Even looking at burgers now makes me a little uneasy."

The red-haired girl looked up at the boy across from her, eyes wide in surprise. "But I made hamburgers a few weeks ago when it was my turn to cook and you ate _them_."

Shinji shrugged. "I forced myself to out of politeness, because I knew you were having… difficulties. I was vomiting for hours afterwards."

The second child stared at the other pilot with her mouth hanging open in surprise. "You… made that kind of sacrifice just to avoid hurting my feelings?"

The blue-eyed boy nodded. "Of course. You were so happy that they came out just right. I couldn't spoil that for you. It was a small price to pay to see you smile. I'd do it again, no problem."

Asuka blinked and looked away, coughing nervously as she rubbed her eyes, pretending something got into them. "Why do you have to be so damn kind? That's why I lo… like you so much."

It was the third child's turn to stare open-mouthed. Before he could process what the girl told him fully, the waitress came by to take their order. Afterwards he sighed. "If things were different…"

"If you finish that sentence, I will jam this chopstick into your eye." The second child warned. The last thing she wanted was to get the boy's sympathy.

Shinji coughed nervously. "Ah… well… um… so what do you think of the new pilot?"

Asuka snorted. "It's quite a stretch to call him a pilot when he couldn't even sync with my Eva. But that's fine with me. I don't want him touching her anyway."

The blue-eyed boy coughed nervously again. "Well ah… other than that?"

The German girl shrugged. "He's strange. He was spying on me when I was looking at my Eva… then he started spouting all this bullshit meaning of life stuff. He reminded me of those brainless idiots in die Universität (university, obviously) that thought since they read a little Descartes that they were philosophers themselves. Most of them couldn't even understand Nietzsche, so how can they even consider themselves capable of independent thought? They call him a Nihilist and don't even understand that he adamantly opposed Nihilismus (Nihilism). He referred to the church as a nihilistisch (nihilistic) institution because it put more importance on the afterlife than the current life, which he considered ludicrous. Plus these Dummköpfe (boneheads) actually thought he advocated Nazismus (Nazism). How they passed das Abitur is beyond me."

Shinji blinked in surprise, intimidated by the girl's rant. Especially because it dealt with intellectual matters that reminded him that the girl was a genius and he was simply… not. "He didn't? I always heard it said that his ideals were one of the foundations of Nazism."

Asuka snorted. "Nazis perverted _everything_ they could get their hands on. Nietzsche was opposed to the very idea of a Herrenrasse (master-race), because his beliefs were centered on individualistic self-actualization and casting off the morality and influence of the masses to become personally accountable for one's own behavior. Not depending on the teachings of a deity that may or may not even exist or of a dictator to excuse or condemn our actions and thoughts. He also admired the Jewish people for their strength in overcoming all their tribulations, _and_ advocated different races coupling with one another because their offspring are often genetically superior to their parent races. All these things were quite contrary to the teachings of Nazismus."

The third child stared at the other pilot blankly.

The second child blinked. Then she remembered that the boy likely had very little idea of anything she was talking about. "Sorry, I didn't mean to talk your ear off with things you don't understand."

Shinji coughed, again feeling intellectually inadequate in comparison to the girl. "Ah… it's ok. I assume that you agree with Nietzsche, then?"

The German girl shrugged. "Some things, yes. I believe that we should strive to better ourselves. I agree that religion is more often used as an excuse to condemn others and ourselves than it should be. But on the other hand, I draw comfort simply from being _in_ a Roman Catholic church. I don't really practice anymore… my father made me go even when I didn't want to, often when he wasn't even around. I hated my father, therefore everything he wanted me to do, I _also_ hated."

The third child nodded. "I can relate."

Asuka shrugged. "I don't hate him so much anymore. To be honest, I don't really feel anything for him. Our relationship is more a formality now than anything else, just as it is with my step-mother. The only family member I was ever really close to was my aunt, whom I stayed with while I attended Universität."

Shinji shook his head in wonder. "This is the most you've talked about yourself around me… ever. I'm honored."

The second child blushed sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I think I'm getting in the habit of talking endlessly about myself now because of therapy. I don't really like looking back on myself, because often all I can see is how weak I was."

The blue-eyed boy nodded, falling silent for a moment as their food was brought to them. "I understand completely. I feel the same way when I look at myself. I still think Rei is crazy for liking me."

Asuka laughed softly. "And we already know I'm already crazy. That must be why I like you so much, also."

The third child froze with a strip of garlic chicken hanging precariously close to his mouth. He set the morsel down so he could speak his mind. "I didn't mean it like that. I don't think of you as crazy. No more so than the rest of us, at least."

"I'll stop thinking of myself as crazy if you stop thinking of yourself as weak. Do we have a deal?" The second child inquired before popping a piece of seasoned pork into her mouth followed by a clump of rice.

"It's not as simple as that." Shinji protested.

Asuka paused in her eating to fix the boy with an amused smile. "Shinji-kun… you said no to me earlier. To _me_. I've kicked your ass for less. Sure, you have your weaknesses. So does everyone else. You have your strengths too."

"I… suppose you're right." The blue-eyed boy admitted.

"Of course I'm right!" The second child declared. "Who do you think you're talking to!"

The third child coughed to cover a laugh and smiled. "Of course. What was I thinking?"

They fell into a comfortable silence as they finished their meal and then stopped by the arcade for a while. It was nearly deserted and they got the impression from the manager that it would be closing soon as well, since all the children were gone and most of the NERV personnel didn't frequent the place. After they had their fill of paying far too much money for games that were over too quickly for their tastes, they went back home and ended up sitting on the couch watching DVDs of pre-Impact anime.

"What is the deal with samurai jumping at each other in the air and landing ten meters apart and then one of them falling over?" Asuka wondered aloud. "We've seen it in two different movies now, and I know I've seen it in others also. With nearly the exact same movements, as well."

"Because it's cool?" Shinji replied with a shrug. At the girl's skeptical look he tried a different response. "I don't know. It's probably a homage to some old movie or something. I think it's meant to symbolize something… like since they're not actually showing the attacks, it puts the importance elsewhere, like on the tragedy that someone had to die… or… I don't know. These movies were made before I was even born. How am I supposed to know?"

"I just figured it was a Japanese thing… and assumed you'd know why they do it." The second child commented, leaning over to rest her head in the boy's lap after he sat back down from putting a new movie in.

The blue-eyed boy stiffened in more than one way and tried to keep his mind off of how close the girl's head was to intimate parts of his body. '_Why do I have to turn everything innocent into something dirty? Maybe I _am _a pervert.'_ The boy chastised himself. "Like beer and pork is a German thing?" He teased back.

"But beer and pork are good." Asuka argued, paying no heed to the boy's internal struggle to maintain composure.

"So are those samurai fight scenes." The third child countered.

The German girl smiled. "They _are_ cool. Point conceded." She started giggling at the scene on the screen. "What is with these long drawn out transformation sequences? Is everyone else just sitting around and playing cards while these chicks change their clothes and do those overly dramatic poses?"

"That _is_ pretty messed up. I guess it's supposed to expand on a single moment… or more likely it was just supposed to make our eyes bug out and make us say wow. I have no idea." Shinji admitted.

"And look at those chests! Not a single one of those girls has less than a C-cup. Aren't they supposed to be our ages, or even younger? For a kids' show, this is pretty perverted." Asuka continued.

The third child chuckled. "They probably did it so the older kids would watch too. I mean, if I had a little brother or sister and they were watching this show, I'd be more inclined to join them after I saw the girls."

The girl turned her royal blue eyes up to look at the boy's face. "You like those over-inflated chests?"

Shinji shrugged. "I like them all. And you're not exactly flat-chested either, you know."

Asuka gestured dramatically as she responded. "Yes, but mine are perfectly shaped and proportioned for my body. They'll stay firm and attractive for a long time. Unlike those girls who will probably droop down to their waists by the time they're 25."

"They're cartoons. They'll never turn 25." The boy joked.

The German girl smiled wistfully. "Ah, that would be nice. To be young forever. It wouldn't be so bad to be a cartoon girl. I'd be forever young and beautiful, and people would still be falling in love with me years later."

The third child shuddered a little at the thought. "I think I'd hate it. Can you imagine me being stuck at this age forever? Always at odds with my father… still having to pilot the Eva… going through one traumatic event after another as each new episode is aired. It would be a living hell."

The red-haired girl crinkled her nose as she considered that. "No, they'd never turn us into cartoons. Our lives are too fucked up. Who would want to watch that? Some pretty fucked up people, obviously." (haha)

"Yeah, I know." Shinji laughed softly for a few moments. He looked down and smiled at seeing how peaceful the girl's expression was. He hesitantly reached out and ran his fingers through the girl's auburn hair, fascinated by how silky and soft it was.

Asuka was surprised the boy had the guts to actually reach out to touch her without being prompted. '_Some hope for you indeed, Shinji.'_ She thought as a content smile formed on her lips. "Mmm… you have an hour to stop that."

The dark-haired boy froze. "What?"

"It means don't stop, Dummkopf." The second child growled out.

"Oh! Sorry." Shinji blushed and resumed stroking the girl's luxurious hair. The flush darkened when the girl murmured and shifted her head.

The German girl stiffened in surprise when she felt a hard lump poking her in the cheek and she realized what it was. She was about to protest and yell and every other action that was normal for her, but then remembered what Dr. Kagame had told her about looking at it from the boy's point of view. '_Well… my cheek is right on it… and I _am _unbelievably sexy… I'll just be flattered. No need to get pissy about it.'_ She relaxed and continued watching the movie.

The third child was surprised. He was sure the girl had been about to kick the crap out of him. He glanced down the girl's body for a moment and started to return his gaze to the screen, but his eyes quickly swerved back. '_Wow! Because of that dress she's wearing… and the bodice… and I don't know what else… that sure is a nice sight!'_ He thought as he stared at the girl's cleavage.

Asuka's eyes narrowed in thought. '_Is it me, or is he getting even stiffer?'_

Shinji swallowed nervously as his eyes wandered back to the girl's face and he observed how lovely she was, especially with the dim light of the room and the illumination of the television screen. "Asuka-chan?" He spoke up, his voice cracking in apprehension.

The second child turned her eyes up to look into the boy's. "Ja?"

The dark-haired boy swallowed nervously again. He was summoning up every scrap of his courage right now and he still wondered if it would be enough, or if he'd lamely say 'nothing' and try to forget it. Finally he opened his mouth to speak. "You said… that if I wanted something… I should have the balls to ask for it." He stated.

"Ja, I did say that." The German girl agreed.

Shinji coughed nervously. "Ah… yes. Uh… well… you're in the perfect position to… ah… well… never mind. Forget I said anything." He flushed beet red, looking away from the girl in embarrassment. '_Great… she's finally starting to trust me and feel at ease enough to be close to me, and what do I do? Pervert it with my filthy mind. I hate myself.'_ He thought bitterly.

Asuka raised an eyebrow up as she looked into the boy's conflicted features. "Shinji-kun, if you want me to do it, you're going to have to actually say it."

"You'll say no." The third child said, still looking away in embarrassment.

"Then you have nothing to lose by asking." The girl replied.

"You'll hate me." Shinji pointed out.

The second child sighed. "I won't hate you. If I don't want to do it, I'll say no. As long as you respect me enough to take no as an answer, I have no problems respecting you enough to not hold a grudge over a silly little thing like that. Especially since I've been telling you to show some backbone and speak your mind all this time." She argued.

The blue-eyed boy looked down, surprised yet again. He wondered if it was his more accepting attitude of her of late or the psychotherapy she had every other day that was making the girl so much more tolerant of him lately. Or perhaps it was both? "Well… ah… could you… I mean… would you…"

Before the boy could get his lusty request out, they heard the front door open. "I'm home!" Misato called out.

Shinji jerked in surprise and started panicking when the second child remained lying as she was. "Ah… welcome home!" He called out, his voice cracking.

The major walked in and paused for a moment and raised an eyebrow as she observed the second child quite comfortably resting her head on the boy's lap. "You two look… comfortable."

"I didn't get much sleep last night." Asuka admitted truthfully.

Though he was disappointed and frustrated at the major's untimely entrance, he was also relieved that it hadn't been a few minutes later or things might have gotten… ugly and painful. "How was work?" He inquired, hoping to change the subject.

Misato shrugged and grabbed a six pack of beer out of the refrigerator. "Dull. I'm still doing paperwork on the damage from the last angel attack. They might not even bother with repairs, to be honest." She chugged down one of the cans in a few long swallows and tossed it in the rubbish bin and opened up the next one. "I don't suppose we could watch something a little more… ah… adult? Something not made for kids half your age, perhaps?"

The second child peered up at the major, trying to hide her irritation over the woman's interruption of her cozy time with Shinji, especially since he was moments away from finally being a little more assertive. "You want to watch a porn film?" She inquired skeptically.

"No. Well…" She paused for a moment to consider it with a smile forming on her lips, but then shook it off. "No, I just mean something made for an older audience. A nice action movie, maybe? Or a romance."

"Put in whatever you want. We grabbed a bunch of movies from the rental store because the door was open and no one was there." The German girl stated dismissively, shifting a little to get comfortable again and noticing that the other pilot's body had calmed down since their guardian arrived.

The purple-haired beauty stepped into her room for a minute to change out of her uniform and into a t-shirt and shorts before returning to look through the movie collection. She found one she liked and put it in. After the obligatory warnings and threats from various government agencies, some of which didn't even exist anymore, a movie about bounty-hunting women started. The major considered her chances at getting the German teen to sit up and make room for her on the couch but figured it wasn't very likely so sat down on the armchair instead, sitting sideways so her legs dangled over the armrest.

"At least these girls are more… realistically built." Asuka commented.

"Mmm hmm." Shinji murmured. He had his attention fixed firmly on the screen, afraid that if his eyes strayed towards either girl, that it would earn him either days of teasing, or worse, a blow up.

The second child scowled. '_Why'd Misato have to come home and ruin our cozy moment? Now Shinji's too uptight to even run his fingers through my hair anymore, let alone actually relax and enjoy himself.'_ She grumbled internally. Then aloud, she inquired "Misato-san, aren't you working all night tomorrow?"

"Yeah." The major replied dejectedly. "I'll probably just take a nap in my office, because my next shift starts at 9am."

Asuka considered that. If Shinji went over to Rei's house again, she'd be left all alone. But if she went with him, it would be too crowded and there would be nothing to do. "Shinji-kun, let's invite the First over here tomorrow to spend the night." She suggested.

Shinji thought that over and nodded. "Sounds like fun. I'll ask her tomorrow."

Later on the German girl looked over at the major. "Misato-san, it's your turn to cook tonight. So why don't your order some pizza?"

"How about Chinese food?" Misato suggested.

"Pi…zza." The second child stated firmly. "With pepperoni and sausage."

"And anchovies?" The major inquired, picking up the phone and looking at the paper she had all the numbers to delivery places that were still open for business written on.

"If you want anchovies, get two pizzas. No anchovies on mine." Asuka crinkled up her nose in disgust.

"Let's just get three pizzas." Shinji suggested. "That way, we can just put leftovers in the refrigerator for lunch tomorrow."

"Unless I eat it all." The red-haired girl observed.

"Unless Asuka-chan eats it all." The third child acknowledged without missing a beat.

Misato nodded and started dialing the number. "What do you want on yours then, Shinji-kun?"

"Ah… chicken and peppers." He replied after a few moments of consideration.

"He means sausage and peppers." Asuka deadpanned.

Shinji blinked. "Uh… I guess I mean sausage and peppers." He looked down at the girl and quirked an eyebrow up inquisitively.

"The chicken from that place is shitty. It tastes like cat food. And if I'm still hungry later, I don't want to eat shitty chicken pizza." The German girl explained.

The third child smiled and brushed his fingers tenderly over the girl's cheek. "No problem."

"You don't mind?" The blue-eyed girl asked.

"You didn't say hamburger, at least." The dark-haired boy joked with a grin.

"Oh, hamburger… that sounds good." Asuka commented, glancing towards Misato.

"No." Shinji stated firmly.

A delirious smile formed on the girl's lips. She was kicking herself inside for acting so foolishly, but mostly she didn't care. Later on that night, as she was curled up against the other pilot, she smiled up at him. "You sound so manly when you say no."

The blue-eyed boy blushed. "Thank you." He started debating with himself, as he wanted to ask the girl if they could do something sexy, but he also felt guilty for even thinking about it.

"Gute Nacht, Shinji-kun." Asuka murmured, too tired from not getting much sleep the night before to stay awake any longer.

"Oh. Good night, Asuka-chan." Shinji responded. He glanced at the girl and smiled, seeing she was already fast asleep. He leaned his head down to give her a sweet kiss on the lips and settled back to sleep as well, for once not missing his SDAT player.

* * *

The next day, Shinji and Rei walked into Major Katsuragi's apartment, carefully holding a number of items. "We're home!" The boy called. An amused grin formed on his lips as he heard the second child grumbling out such words as 'Finally!' and 'About damned time.'

The girl came to the door and immediately took one of the bags from Rei's hands even though she was only holding two bags, while ignoring Shinji who was carrying three bags and a game system plus accessories. "Ah good, you brought the game system. You can put it down over by the television, Shinji-kun." She ordered. The girls meandered towards the kitchen while Shinji grunted and strained with the game system, controllers, plugs, cords, and a bag with a few games they had picked up on the way over.

The German girl turned her attention to the first child. "Wie geht's, Rei-chan?"

Rei looked at the other girl. '_Why does everyone always ask me how I am doing? And yet, they don't expect a completely honest reply.'_ She thought. Then aloud she said, "No problems to report."

Asuka noticed the girl seemed stiff and distracted, so she figured the mood needed to be lightened. "I'm sorry." She started saying, earning the blue-haired girl's attention. "I haven't greeted you properly yet." The German girl wrapped her arms around the red-eyed girl's waist and planted a tender kiss on her lips. After a few moments a soft "mmm" sound was heard from the first child, so Asuka deepened the kiss and raised a hand up to run her fingers through the soft blue locks of the other girl.

Shinji walked in. "Ok it's all hooked… up. Sorry." He blushed as he saw the two girls kissing. '_Asuka sure is… assertive. Do I just stress over this stuff too much?'_ He wondered.

"No need for apology, Shinji-kun." Rei assured him, turning her head to look at the nervous boy.

The third child glanced at the red-haired girl and saw nothing but a small smile on the girl's lips so he relaxed. "We should eat now before it gets cold." He suggested, though it ended up sounding more like an order, unintentionally.

The first child nodded and sat down, reaching into the bags to set out all the food in silence.

"Jawohl, mein Führer! (Yes sir, my leader/chief!)" Asuka asserted, doing a mock salute with a big grin plastered on her face.

"Oh! I… ah… sorry… I didn't mean…" Shinji grew flustered, realizing how his statement had sounded.

The second child rolled her eyes, stood back up and grabbed the boy in the same manner she had the day before and planted a steaming hot kiss on his lips. After she felt him relax, she pulled away. "It smells good." She commented as she sat down and looked through the collection of food the other two pilots had brought with them. She glanced up and noticed Rei looking at her curiously. "It's the easiest way to get him to relax." She explained.

The first child nodded. "It seems to have worked very well." She commented, noticing the boy was still standing motionless and blinking rapidly.

"Dinner's going to get cold, Shinji-kun." Asuka commented in a mild tone.

"Huh? Oh!" The boy blushed in embarrassment and sat down to join them. "You know, I could have just cooked…"

"You don't cook when you're having a party, Dummchen. (silly)" The blue-eyed girl informed him in a tone that suggested he should have known better.

"Ah." He picked up a box of Thai-style chicken and some rice and started chewing on it. He looked up and noticed Rei was regarding him with a strange expression on her face, one he had never seen before. "Rei-chan? Is everything alright?"

The first child was silent, unsure of how to respond. She didn't want to lie, but an honest response would bring up a topic she wasn't ready to discuss yet. A compromise was needed. "These noodles have too much garlic in them." She responded. It was a true statement, even though it didn't really answer the boy's question.

"It's too bad you don't eat meat. The sweet and sour pork is delicious." Asuka informed the girl, holding up a piece of the meat on the end of her chopsticks for inspection.

"Well, that's good for you." Rei replied, reaching with her chopsticks to pick up a dumpling.

Shinji tried to stifle a laugh and it ended up coming out as a snort and chuckle when he saw the surprised look on the German girl's face. He remembered when she told him the exact same thing after he woke up from his battle with the 12th angel. He coughed to force himself to stop his expression of amusement when the red-haired girl cast a glare his way.

After dinner, Shinji and Asuka sat on the floor in front of the television and started playing games. For a while they tried to involve Rei into their conversation and offered to let her play the games, but she seemed content to sit on the couch and watch them. The first child stretched out on the couch to bring her head near the other two pilots and curiously watched the screen. Her gaze then moved between the two other children and she pondered whether they would all have a future or not without Third Impact. For the first time in her life, she had something to live for and _wanted_ to live. And it was a good feeling. "Shinji-kun?" She said to get the boy's attention.

Shinji immediately turned his attention to the girl and smiled. "Hmm?"

The blue-haired girl fell silent for a few moments. She wanted to talk to him about the Human Instrumentality Project, but she couldn't think of the proper words to use. She had to broach the subject carefully, but that would be difficult. She wondered if he would even understand what his father wanted to do, and whether or not she truly understood it for that matter. But she had spoken and gained his attention and both of the other pilots were patiently waiting for her to speak. "Would you show me… how to play that game?" She couldn't think of anything else to say.

The third child grinned. "Sure! Just hit this button here if you want to fire your weapon, this button if…"

Rei shook her head. She got up from the couch and then sat down between the boy's splayed legs. "Show me." She requested, looking down at the controller in the boy's hands.

Asuka raised an eyebrow. She was shocked the girl showed that much initiative. More than likely, it was an innocent gesture, but she wasn't going to call attention to it and ruin it for them.

Shinji blushed and looked down at the delicate girl sitting so close to him. "Ah… ok. See when I press this button, I fire my gun. I use this one to maneuver the guy on the screen…" He glanced at the second child who simply flashed him a smile. The boy cleared his throat and told her what all the buttons did and showed her the reactions on the screen to each press. "Would you like to try it?" He asked.

Rei nodded and gently took the controller from his hands and stared down at it as she hit buttons. "Piloting Eva is much simpler." She remarked.

"A lot messier though. At least we don't have to be dunked into LCL to play these." The German girl observed.

"Indeed." The red-eyed girl responded, turning her attention to the screen. "What is my target?"

"Anything that moves." Shinji replied.

The first child kept looking down at the controller to reorient herself on the button placement, finding the whole process to be terribly inefficient. "Why am I glowing?" She inquired.

"You picked up a power-up. You'll be invincible for the next fifteen seconds." Asuka informed her. She grinned, watching both the girl and Shinji, the latter whom was obviously attempting to not freak out by having the girl practically sitting on his lap. It was all terribly cute. "Maybe you should try an RPG. Action games don't really seem to be your style."

Rei turned to look at the other girl, not comprehending what she meant by that term.

"Oh! Like that game Maya-san gave you. I'll uh…" He paused, considering how likely it was that the girl would move so he could change the game.

"I'll do it. You two cuddle." The red-haired girl teased as she got up to change out the game discs.

The first child turned her head to look at Shinji, realizing for the first time the intimate manner in which she was leaning against him. She noted the blush on his face and thought about how attractive it was. A small smile touched her lips as she settled back against the boy, shifting a little to get even closer.

The third child's eyes widened in surprise and once again he was conflicted. On the one hand, he was very aroused by the girl's proximity and the scent of her skin and hair that floated up to his nostrils. On the other, it was an affectionate gesture and he felt that getting all excited over it was cheapening that. '_Why can't I just react like a normal person and enjoy the moment?'_ He wondered.

After the blue-haired girl figured out how to play the game and settled in, though, he started relaxing. He discovered that he could enjoy her closeness without his body going crazy on him. He glanced over at Asuka, noticing she was more interested in watching the other two pilots than she was in the game. "Asuka-chan, what are your plans for tomorrow?"

The second child shrugged. "I have therapy mid-morning. Later in the afternoon, Misato-san wanted to go shopping for clothes with me, after she's done with her work shift. Assuming she doesn't just get drunk and fall asleep, that is. I wouldn't blame her, after these long shifts she's been pulling." She leaned over and rested her head against the third child's shoulder and grinned up at him. "How about you?"

Shinji blushed at the fact that he now had two beautiful girls this close to him, and yet it was still an innocent gesture. "I have a harmonics test. I'm not sure why they're bothering though, since my Eva is for emergency use only now. But if they want me to train, I'll train."

"I died." Rei stated suddenly, out of the blue.

"Huh?" Shinji blinked, leaning to the side so he could see the blue-haired angel's face.

"The game, Dummchen." Asuka teased, elbowing the boy in the ribs.

The third child blinked and looked at the screen, seeing a large 'Game Over' message flashing on the screen. "Oh. Well, you can always load from your last save."

The red-eyed girl looked back and blankly stared at the boy. "I was supposed to save the game?"

The German girl started laughing, much to Shinji's embarrassment. "How about I put in a movie?" She suggested.

The blue-eyed boy nodded. "That sounds good. Rei-chan?"

Rei looked back at him again. "Yes, Shinji-kun?"

Shinji blinked in surprise, wondering if she even paid attention when they were talking. "Does a movie sound all right to you?"

The blue-haired girl nodded. "If that is what you wish to do, we shall watch a movie."

Asuka started naming off titles that she and Shinji had not yet watched. She looked back at the two, raising an eyebrow. "Any of those sound good?"

The third child gently put an arm around the red-eyed girl's waist, relishing in the closeness. "Do you have a preference, Rei-chan?" He figured she would likely say no, but he wanted to give her the chance to choose if she wanted to.

Rei considered the titles, but wasn't familiar with any of them. "Are any of them love stories?"

The second child was surprised. She was sure the girl would say she didn't care. She looked back down at the movies. "This one is." She picked one of the videos up. "This one it is, then." She put the disc into the DVD player and slid back over to lean onto Shinji's shoulder again as the movie started.

The blue-eyed boy noticed the first child glance back when the other girl cuddled up to him, but she looked back at the movie, undisturbed by the girl's proximity. Shinji figured if she wasn't threatened by it, he shouldn't stress over it either. So he lifted his arm up to rest if across the German girl's shoulders and pulled her a little closer. He heard the girl sigh in content and felt fingers brush up against the hand that was resting around the first child's waist. He glanced down, realizing the other girl had brought her free arm around to loosely embrace Rei as well. It felt… a little weird, but strangely comforting as well. He stifled a chuckle as he thought about what Misato's face would look like if she walked in on them now. He was glad the major was putting in an all-nighter at NERV, because he really didn't want to have the moment ruined as it had been the day before.

"Ok, am I the only one that thinks that girl is a crazy stalker type?" Asuka wondered aloud.

Shinji blinked in confusion. He was barely paying attention to the show, so wasn't certain what she meant. "What do you mean?"

"Well, she hasn't seen that guy since they were children. She says he promised to marry her when they were like… six years old. Suddenly she shows up on his doorstep and says she's going to marry him and starts staying at his house?" The second child explained. "And she cooks him a huge dinner and is obsessive about him eating every last morsel? And she keeps saying she's going to marry him in the creepiest way… and he's freaked out too. Or is this some Japanese thing that I just don't understand?"

"I don't know… I think it's sweet." The third child remarked, thinking the girl must care a lot about the boy to do everything she was doing to be with him.

"I agree." Rei added. She glanced back at the red-haired girl. "She loves him. It does not matter that she has not seen him in over a decade. She wants the best for him."

Asuka giggled. "It must be a Japanese thing, then."

Shinji pondered on that, wondering if it didn't seem strange to him because he knew she was a traditional country girl, taking care of the young man in the best way she knew how. He glanced at the German girl, wondering how things were different in other parts of the world. He had never even been outside of Japan and he knew the other girl was worldly, having lived on three different continents. '_Maybe I'm just a simple country-boy as well?'_ He mused.

Other than a few random comments, mostly made by the second child, they watched the show in relative silence. After it was over, the German girl looked at the clock. "It's getting kind of late. We should probably get to bed soon."

Rei stood up gracefully. "Am I sleeping here tonight?" She inquired curiously.

"That was the plan, ja." Asuka replied, to which the other girl nodded.

"I need to take a bath." Shinji remarked, feeling self-conscious now that he thought about the two girls cuddled up to him when he hadn't bathed yet that day.

The German girl grinned playfully. "We'll get the bed nice and _warm_ for you then, Shinji-kun. Won't we, Rei?" She patted the other girl on the bum as she winked.

The first child raised an eyebrow up slightly, but did not comment.

The dark-haired boy started to sweat as he considered what Asuka might have in mind for the blue-haired beauty. "Ah… I'll join you soon, then." It wasn't until he was in the bath that he realized both girls were likely going to sleep on the futon with him. He swallowed nervously, hoping he didn't get himself into trouble with either girl. After he dried off and dressed, he walked towards his room and overheard the girls talking.

"Seine Hände sind sehr weich… (His hands are very soft…)" Rei murmured in a soft voice.

"Jawohl! Und sein Schwanz ist auch ganz schön groß! (Yes indeed! And his penis is a nice size also!)" Asuka added.

Shinji blinked in surprise. He didn't know what they were saying, but he had the feeling it was about him.

"Is it?" The first child inquired in a tone that suggested she didn't really care.

The blue-eyed girl grinned and held her hands up a certain distance apart. "Well, it's…" She paused when she noticed the blue-haired girl was looking at something behind the German girl. She looked back as well and smiled at the third child. "Welcome back, Shinji-kun. All nice and clean, now?"

Shinji blushed and sat down next to the girls. He hoped they didn't mind that he was only wearing an undershirt and boxers. Since they often wore even less when _they_ slept, he figured it didn't matter. "Ah, yes." He replied after some hesitation.

"I think we could have _all_ fit into the bath." Asuka commented with a playful smirk.

"Yes, that is true." Rei agreed.

The boy's blue eyes widened in shock, but he didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that they hadn't done just that. He doubted he could have… kept his cool with two beautiful naked girls in the bath with him. "Well… maybe." He said uncertainly.

"My turn then, unless you wanted to bathe?" The German girl inquired, looking at the first child.

"I showered before coming over here." The blue-haired girl responded. After a few seconds she remembered conversations where she was told she often sounded rude when she spoke to people. "But thank you for offering." She added.

The second child smiled, pleasantly surprised at the girl's politeness. "I'll return shortly, then."

After the red-haired girl left, Shinji relaxed after he was lying down. A moment later, the first child cuddled up next to him. The boy was glad that he was freshly bathed now, so he wasn't nervous about how he might smell. He turned his head to look at the girl next to him and smiled nervously.

Rei stared back at the boy silently.

"Eh… this is ok, right? If it's not, I don't mind sleeping on the couch." The third child offered, though he hoped she didn't tell him to leave.

"I would be… disappointed if you left, Shinji-kun." The red-eyed girl responded honestly. Normally she wouldn't make such a statement, but she was beginning to realize that the boy often seemed to need reassurance, which was a foreign concept to her. Though the young Ikari often seemed unsure of himself and was almost terminally nervous at times, she did have to admit that he valued life. He didn't pray for the day that he would no longer be needed and could die, like she had done until recently.

Shinji gave the girl a silly grin. After a little hesitation, he leaned over and pressed his lips to the girl's, ready to pull away if she showed any signs of rejecting the affection.

Rei made a soft "mmm" sound and kissed him back, laying an arm over the boy's shoulders to pull him closer and make her acceptance of the kiss apparent.

The third child hadn't planned to kiss her longer than a few seconds, but thoughts of pulling away vanished from his mind. He completely forgot about the German girl bathing and likely to return at any moment. His hand slid underneath the girl's shirt as he rolled her onto her back and leaned over her, trailing his kisses down to the girl's neck as his fingers grazed over her milky-white stomach. Encouraged by the heat of the red-eyed girl's kisses, his hand moved further up to cup one of her soft breasts, tenderly massaging and stroking it.

The first child tilted her head back to give the boy easier access to her neck as she sighed softly, enjoying the affectionate attention. She briefly wondered why the boy was suddenly being so bold, but decided she didn't care as long as it continued. Her eyes drifted shut as she felt his thumb lazily circling her nipple underneath her bra, which sent delectable tingles up and down her spine.

Shinji kissed the blue-haired beauty again as his hand trailed down to stroke against the girl's silky thigh. A few moments later his fingers found their way beneath the girl's skirt and against the heat of her panties. "Mmm… Rei-chan…" He nearly jumped out of his own skin when Asuka was suddenly lying down next to the couple. He pulled away from the first child and turned beet-red as he turned onto his back, feeling embarrassed both because he was caught in the middle of a heavy petting session with the girl and that there was a noticeable tent in the blanket.

The second child cuddled up to the boy. After a few tense moments she lifted her head up to regard the couple, realizing what they had been doing. "Sorry. Should I sleep on the couch tonight? I didn't mean to disturb you."

"No! No, uh… it's ok. It was inconsiderate of me. I wasn't thinking about you coming back… or _anything_ really." The third child apologized quickly, still embarrassed.

Rei frowned slightly, wondering why he stopped just when it was getting good. "Warum hat er aufgehört? (Why did he stop?)" She inquired, looking over the boy's body at the German girl.

"Er ist verlegen. (He is bashful/embarrassed)" Asuka responded. Had she realized what the two were doing, she might have watched another movie or something to give them some privacy. But now it was too late, because she knew Shinji would feel too embarrassed to continue with what he was doing once she left.

Shinji blinked, listening to the two girls speak in a language he didn't understand. '_I really need to learn to speak German…'_ He realized. Though he knew Rei only asked whatever it was because she knew he wouldn't understand it.

"Würde es dich stören, wenn wir mit dem was wir gerade machten fortsetzen? (Would it disturb you if we continued with what we were doing?)" The first child inquired curiously.

The third child frowned slightly, hoping the two weren't arguing. But they sounded fairly civil… he wished once again that he understood what they were saying, especially since it was rare to hear Rei speak that much.

The German girl swallowed nervously, a strange thrill running through her body. "Nein. Soll ich mich verdrücken? (No. Should I leave?)" She inquired. Though she knew the answer would likely be a polite yes, she couldn't help but ask.

"Nein. Bitte bleib bei uns. (No. Please remain here with us.)" Rei requested. She also knew the boy would never relax enough to be affectionate again if he knew that Asuka was being inconvenienced by giving them privacy. If the other girl didn't mind it, perhaps the blue-eyed boy would feel free to relax and continue what he was doing.

The second child was surprised by the request, but then she considered it. She knew the blue-haired beauty would never ask Shinji to do sexy things to her, no matter how much she wanted it. But she herself did not have such reservations. '_Of course…'_ The girl cleared her throat and turned her attention to the third child, seeing the confusion written on his face. She figured she'd look the same if he and Rei were speaking in a language _she_ didn't understand. "Shinji-kun? Remember what we were talking about the other day, about acting on your desires and trusting that we'd tell you if we weren't in the mood for it?"

Shinji coughed nervously and nodded. He felt panic rise in his chest when he realized what she was implying. "But… I can't just ask you to leave. And I don't think I could just do that so suddenly anyway…"

The second child frowned. "Shinji-kun… let me give you some advice. Continue what you were doing before I accidentally interrupted you, or you will spend the rest of your life regretting it."

"Asuka-chan… if Shinji-kun does not want to, it is all right. I don't want to force him to do something he doesn't want to do." Rei protested, unhappy that the girl resorted to a guilt ploy.

"But… I _do_ want to." The third child spoke up. '_Oh shit… did I just say that out loud?'_ He thought in a panic.

"Then I am ready for you, Shinji-kun." The red-eyed girl stated in a gentle tone.

The third child's mouth dropped open in shock as his erection returned with a vengeance. "But… I…" He paused. '_Haven't I fantasized about this a number of times now? Why am I resisting? To be one with Rei-chan…'_ He turned his gaze to the other girl's blue eyes, not wanting to hurt the girl's feelings no matter what 'Little-Shinji' was telling him. "Are you sure you're ok with this?"

"Jawohl. I am not bothered in the least." Asuka assured him.

Just to be sure, the young Ikari looked at the first child. "And _you're_ sure about this?"

Rei stared at the boy.

"Dummkopf! Don't ask her stupid questions." The German girl chided him.

Shinji smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, it's a force of habit." He explained. Nervously he leaned over the blue-haired girl once more, pressing his lips to hers. As his hand trailed a similar path as it had before they were interrupted, he paused to look over at the second child. She seemed to be in no hurry to leave.

Asuka propped her head up as she lay sideways, watching the couple with interest. She took no notice of the boy's plight.

The third child looked from one girl to the other, embarrassment and confusion reigning in his mind now. "Uh…" He tried to think of the words to politely ask why the young Soryu had not yet left to give them some privacy.

"Shinji-kun… I'm down here." Rei reminded him gently.

The dark-haired lad blushed, casting another glance towards the second child before kissing the quiet red-eyed girl. His hand brushed up the girl's thighs and nearly up to her cotton panties. He pulled away a little and looked down at Rei, feeling incredibly turned on, but was unsure of how best to proceed.

"It'll probably be easier if you get those clothes off." Asuka suggested, guessing at his predicament.

Shinji looked over at her, realizing that she really did have no intention of leaving. He looked down at the first child, noticing that she wasn't distraught over the other girl's presence. '_Maybe that's what they were talking about in German…'_ He surmised. He started reaching for the bottom of his shirt but his hands were brushed aside by Ayanami's.

The blue-haired girl carefully slid her hands underneath the garment and pulled it off, then ran her hands over the boy's chest. She looked down at his body then raised her red eyes back up to meet the boy's blue ones.

The third child swallowed nervously and gently slid Rei's shirt off, followed a moment later by her bra. Luckily he had gotten some practice at removing the complex garment while the girl was recovering from her injuries, or he would have felt foolish when he fumbled with it. His eyes drank in the sight of the girl's ivory white breasts and his hands couldn't resist cupping the soft orbs. His mouth felt dry as he touched the girl in a way that made him anxious. He glanced over at Asuka, noticing she was watching the both of them with rapt attention. And judging by the dilation of her pupils, she was enjoying the show. He still felt weird to be doing this in front of the other girl, but he wanted to make his lover happy, so conceded to her wishes. He'd feel like a real jerk to kick the girl out now. "Your skin is so soft, Rei-chan." Shinji whispered, leaning forward to suckle gently on one of her nipples.

A gentle sigh escaped the girl's lips as she watched the boy's tender ministrations. A few moments later, he moved down further and hooked his fingers into the waistband of the girl's panties, slowly sliding the garment down. He swallowed nervously as the tender lips of the girl's nether regions were revealed.

Rei looked down as her own hands slid into the boy's boxers and slowly slid the garment off. She leaned up to plant a scorching hot kiss on the third child's lips as her thighs parted.

Shinji looked down, realizing he was about to have sex for the first time in a situation that was likely a dream come true for quite a fair portion of the males of his age and likely many other age groups. It was too much. "SHIIIIT!" He cried as his body stiffened and flushed.

The first child looked up at the boy, astonished by his reaction but barely showing it. "Shinji-kun?"

Asuka frowned at the odd reaction and reached a hand forward to touch the boy's shoulder. "Are you ok, Shinji-kun?"

"Don't touch me!" The blue-eyed boy cried out suddenly, pulling away from both girls and standing up, as shame and anger directed at himself made his body shake. He sighed, realizing he was hurting their feelings unintentionally. "Sorry. I just need to clear my head. I'm so sorry. Just… leave me alone for a little while." He grabbed up a pair of sweatpants and put them on quickly and walked out while staring at the ground.

"Did I… do something wrong?" Rei inquired in a soft vulnerable tone.

Asuka looked down at the girl and saw what caused the boy's reaction. "Oh… shit. Looks like he… ah… boiled over." She commented, grabbing up some nearby tissues to clean off the girl's stomach.

The first child looked down curiously then realized what the strange wetness on her stomach was. "Oh… I suppose I will be taking that bath after all." She deadpanned.

The German girl nodded silently. She felt sorry for the third child and wanted to comfort him and let him know that they didn't think any less of him. That it didn't mean that such a thing would happen again. And any number of other comforting words, but she knew he didn't want to hear them right now. "He'll calm down in a little while… I'll talk to him then. I suppose it's natural for him to feel bad about what happened."

Rei nodded and started walking towards the bathroom, not bothering to dress. She wondered if sex ever got less frustrating as she soaked in the soothing hot water. Later on she returned to the third child's room and lay down on the futon, not bothering to put on any clothes. She frowned when she noticed that Shinji still had not returned. She remained silent as the second child cuddled up closer to her, both girls falling asleep soon after.

Shinji remained standing outside for several hours, staring at the night sky and feeling sorry for himself. When his fatigue became too great to ignore, he re-entered Major Katsuragi's apartment and peered into his bedroom. He glanced back at the couch, feeling that the uncomfortable furniture piece was all he deserved, especially since the girls probably thought they did something wrong. However, he wondered if this would be his only chance to ever have two beautiful girls curled up with him and also figured they might feel worse if he avoided them.

He glared down at his groin for a few moments before grumbling, "Why do you have to keep getting me into trouble? Why can't you just do what I tell you to do?" He sighed and plopped down between the girls, finding it strange that they pulled away from each other to make room for him between them just as he reached the futon, yet both were still sound asleep. He shrugged and lied down, hoping he didn't screw things up too much with Rei, but feeling like he'd deserve it if he had.

* * *

Haha… I really wanted to write a nice lemon scene between Shinji and Asuka on that couch…oh well. It would have been hot too. _Really_ hot. Almost as hot as the scene between Shinji and Rei would have been, had he not… lost his courage. ;-) Next chapter: Asuka drags Rei along with her and Misato for clothes shopping, Shinji pays a visit to Kaoru, and probably some other stuff will happen too. Until then, cheerio! Runs away before she starts getting hate mail over this chapter.


	29. What a Fool I Am

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: I've got a website now. At the same time I've been writing this chapter, I've been proofreading, correcting, expanding on, and various other edit-type stuff to the previous chapters and putting them up on the website. If you like this story, I think it's worth your time to check out. It also has a picture here and there to illustrate the scene… when I can find an appropriate one, that is. Heh. You can find this and more at my website (check my profile for the link since it won't let me put it here). Come one, come all. :-D

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 29: What a Fool I Am

Asuka sighed and shifted as she slowly opened her eyes. A smile formed on her lips as she saw how adorable the other two pilots looked, cuddled up close to one another. She felt the presence of the boy's arm over her back as well and thought about what Misato would think if she walked in and saw both Rei and Asuka draped over the third child's chest as they slumbered. '_She'd probably be green with envy. Or she'd just think we were perverts.'_ The German girl reasoned.

The girl's blue eyes narrowed as she considered that. What they _had_ done and _almost_ done the night before _was_ fairly perverted… and that made her feel bad for all the times she had given Shinji hell for looking at her, especially because she had enjoyed the attention. She also felt guilty over how she had treated the first child, taking out her frustrations over her insecurities on the quiet girl who had just been an easy target. Asuka knew she wouldn't fight back or say anything, and she hadn't had to live with _her_.

The German girl reached out and gently ran a hand over Rei's pale white cheek. A moment later the girl's crimson eyes fluttered open and a gentle smile formed on her lips. "Guten Morgen. (Good morning)" Asuka greeted.

"Guten Morgen, Asuka-chan." The blue-haired girl responded.

Asuka jerked her head slightly in the direction of their feet to indicate something of interest there. "Die Morgenlatte (Morning wood)." She said with a giggle.

Rei's eyes narrowed slightly in confusion as she beheld the spectacle. "He is asleep." She observed.

The German girl nodded slowly, unsure of where the girl was going with her train of thought. "Ja… he is."

"He wants sex even in his slumber?" The first child inquired innocently.

The red-haired girl smiled. "He's a boy. He always wants sex."

"That is not so." Rei countered with a slight frown.

The second child sighed. "It's an exaggeration, Rei-chan. It wasn't meant to be totally true." At the other girl's curious expression, she elaborated. "I don't really understand it myself but… most of the time Shinji has a boner in the morning. From what I've heard, a lot of them do."

The red-eyed girl gave Asuka a questioning look. "Boner?"

"Ein Ständer? Hard-on? Stiffy? Morning Glory? Pitching a tent? Raising the flag? Wood? Erection? That thing right there next to your hand?" The German girl elaborated with a teasing grin.

Rei blushed and withdrew her hand from the third child's thigh. "So many names for so simple a part." She remarked.

The second child glanced at the slumbering boy, thinking it was a good thing he was asleep. Such a statement might have damaged his male ego. "Maybe you should try again." She suggested, with an evil glint in her eyes.

The first child stared impassively at the red-haired girl. "That would not be… appropriate. He is sleeping."

The corner of Asuka's mouth lifted up in a devious half-grin. "I can take care of that." She leaned over and pressed her lips to the dark-haired boy's, noticing out of the corner of her eye that Rei looked surprised, likely due to the German girl's boldness.

"Mmm…" Shinji murmured into the girl's mouth. A moment later his eyes fluttered open. "Mmmph?"

"Guten Morgen, Shinji-kun." The red-haired girl greeted him with a luminous smile.

"Uh… good morning, Asuka-chan." The blushing boy greeted. His dark blue eyes shifted over to Rei and a smile formed on his now moistened lips. "Good morning, Rei-chan."

"Good morning, Shinji-kun." Rei replied in greeting. She still wasn't quite comfortable with the polite phrases of greeting, but she was willing to learn.

"I'm glad you're so happy to see us, Shinji-kun." Asuka teased, looking down at the tent formed in the boy's sweatpants.

The third child blushed. "It's morning! I have to pee or something…" He hastily explained.

The red-haired girl frowned. "Oh, is that all it is? Two beautiful girls curled up to you, one naked and one with barely a stitch of clothing on… and you're only excited because you want to empty your bladder. I see how it is."

Rei looked at the German girl curiously, wondering how she teased the boy so easily, and for what purpose.

Confusion and panic played out over the blue-eyed boy's features, but then he noticed the small grin on the girl's face. '_She's teasing me. She… wants me to play along? Even after last night? That… doesn't make any sense. Aren't they both disappointed in me, for failing? And my reaction afterwards?'_ After reminding himself of what happened, he started to feel guilty. "I'm sorry." He stated, though he was really apologizing for the night before.

"There is no need for apology, Shinji-kun." Rei stated, failing to comprehend why the boy was apologizing. Or perhaps she did understand what he was apologizing for but still felt it was unnecessary. Only the first child knew for sure and she would, as always, keep that to herself.

Asuka sighed. "Why can't you just tell the truth, Shinji-kun, and say you want to have sex with one of us?" She inquired, shaking her head in exasperation.

"But I… don't." Shinji admitted shamefully. "I mean… I do… but not right now. I still feel… ah… I'm just not in the mood."

The red-haired girl was shocked speechless. She was under the impression that guys were 'always' in the mood. "Are you just saying that because of your little mishap last night? I don't think you should let that get you down. I mean…"

"Asuka-chan!" The third child interrupted, barely raising his voice. "No. Ok? Not right now."

"Shinji-kun. You should go use the toilet." Rei stated diplomatically, noticing the hurt and conflicting emotions in the German girl's eyes.

The blue-eyed boy nodded and leaned over to kiss the blue-haired girl before getting up. "I'll start breakfast after I'm done." He promised as he walked out of the room.

The first child turned her curious eyes to the other girl's blue orbs and raised an eyebrow up inquisitively.

"I don't know which is worse…" Asuka explained as she shook her head. "… the fact that I just sounded like a slut begging for a fuck, or that it turns me on _big time_ when he tells me no."

"You did not sound like a slut, Asuka-chan." Rei stated firmly. "Neither did you ask him to have sex with you."

The second child shrugged. "Not technically, no. But… it's not my place to do so, anyway."

The red-eyed girl curiously quirked an eyebrow up before asking, "Why not?"

The German girl blinked several times rapidly, astonished by the question. "Why not? Because he's _your_ boyfriend, not mine."

Rei shook her head slightly. "Have you asked him to give his heart to you, and to you alone?"

"No, of course not!" The blue-eyed girl protested. "I would never do that!"

"Why?" The first child inquired.

"Because he's _your_ boyfriend!" Asuka cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

The quiet girl nodded. "That is true. However, it does not answer my question. You care for him, do you not?"

The second child glanced away with a guilty look on her face. Somehow she had fallen into a trap. '_Damned if I do, damned if I don't._ _Is she suddenly upset by the affection I've shown him? I don't get it… she didn't seem to mind before. And she doesn't mind when I'm affectionate with _her_. Is it because… no. Oh god…'_ She rested her forehead against her palm and sighed. "I'm sorry, Rei-chan. It doesn't matter though. I told you before that I would not interfere with your relationship with him. I meant that. I just… don't want to be left alone. It would be… worse than dying."

Rei stared at the other girl, her expression unreadable. "There is no need for apology, Asuka-chan. You have answered my question."

The girl turned tear-stained blue eyes up to look at the other girl, confused once again. "I can't figure you out." She stated in a whisper choked with vulnerability.

The first child considered that carefully. "What do you require, Asuka-chan?"

"I… don't understand." The German girl replied carefully.

A brief moment of frustration played across the blue-haired girl's features. "What do you need? Right now." It became obvious that the girl was getting at something, but she either didn't know how to express it, or it was simply against her nature to do so.

Asuka didn't know what the girl was getting at, however. "I… don't know."

Rei stared at the other girl.

The red-haired girl looked away, the guilty look returning to her face. "I care about you too, you know."

"Yes. You do." The first child agreed.

"Why do you have to be…" The blue-eyed girl trailed off, frustrated. "Never mind."

The clone of Lilith regarded the other girl curiously. "What is it you wish to know, Asuka-chan?"

"I need to know the rules here, ok? I don't like stumbling around blind. Tell me what I can and can't do. _That_ is what I need." Asuka stated angrily, though she didn't expect an answer.

Rei considered that before responding. "You cannot have his heart for yourself. _I_ claim that. However, that prevents neither of you from caring for one another. You can share as little or as much of yourself with him, or with me, as you feel comfortable. You cannot force yourself upon either of us, and neither can we force ourselves upon you. Is that clear enough?"

The second child was shocked. "You actually answered my question." She stated, with her eyes wide and mouth hanging open in surprise.

"No. I did not." The red-eyed girl stated with a touch of a smile on her lips.

"Yes you did…" Asuka argued, but then an eyebrow rose up as she realized what the girl meant. "Oh… as in… this conversation never happened. But let me make sure I understand you perfectly… you're saying I can have sex with you both, but I can't fall in love with either of you?"

"On the contrary, you are free to love whomever you wish." Rei corrected her.

The German girl frowned, a little offended. "So you think Shinji is capable of having sex with me and showing affection to me without ever having any love for me? I think you have a rather low opinion of him. I think it's in his nature to express love for those he cares for."

"I did not say he could not love you. I said you cannot claim his heart for your own." The blue-haired girl elaborated mysteriously.

Asuka hissed in frustration. "I don't see the difference."

Rei glanced towards the direction of the kitchen. She could tell that Shinji was waiting for them patiently, but was too polite to come in and ask when they were coming out. "I will say this once, and once only. And then I will never speak of it again. I claim his _heart_. As long as I am the one who is most dear to him, I am happy. He may share his body with you or anyone else he chooses to. He may share his affection with you or anyone else he chooses to. He may even share some of his love with you or anyone else he chooses to, so long as he loves me still."

The second child frowned. "Ok… I understand that. And I have no plans on interfering with his affection for you. In fact, I encourage it as much as I can. I admit I care about that silly boy more than I let on to him, but I don't think I love him the same way you do. I don't even know if I would want to if he wanted to have sex with me. I can't really know that until it comes up. My feelings are all… confused. I _am_ seeing a psychotherapist, you know."

Rei nodded. "I am glad that is clear now, so I expect not to be questioned on the matter further. I will say only one more thing. You will always have my affection. I cannot speak for Shinji-kun, but I believe he is being truthful when he said he would never forsake you. Whether you develop purely platonic feelings for us or if you fall in love with one or both of us, we will always care for you. You are always welcome to express your affection in any manner in which you feel comfortable. I will say _no more_ on this matter. I am already getting a headache."

Asuka blinked in surprise, realizing the red-eyed girl forced aside her own quiet nature because she knew it was needed, despite the conflict and turmoil it caused within the girl's psyche. '_She… cares about me enough to set aside her own comfort to reassure me? Shinji… you are one lucky son of a bastard. I guess… I'm lucky too.'_ The red-haired girl nodded and leaned forward to embrace the other girl, sighing in happiness that she no longer had to carry around the burden of guilt and worry, which, of course, left her free to express herself freely. "I have to say… having a heart to heart talk is always more fun when the person you're talking to is naked."

Rei raised an eyebrow questioningly. "It is the body's natural state."

The second child nodded and grinned. "And a lovely state it is."

The first child blushed, unaccustomed to being openly admired or praised. "Th… thank you."

Asuka nodded. "Let's get some breakfast then."

The red-eyed girl nodded and started getting dressed.

"Just the shirt." The German girl requested. At the questioning look she received, she felt it best to elaborate. "Just wear the shirt, nothing else. Please."

Rei looked down at the bra and panties in her hands for a few moments then set them back down on the floor and put on her dress shirt which was part of her school uniform. "Like this?"

Asuka grinned and nodded. "_Very_ sexy. But one final touch…" She leaned forward to undo the top two buttons so it was open to just below the girl's breasts. "Perfect."

The first child nodded, unsure of why the girl had requested this, but she had no reason to argue. They both walked into the kitchen to find an assortment of food laid out.

"Damn, Shinji-kun… I know we were talking a while but you sure cooked all this fast!" The German girl stated in awe.

Shinji shook his head. "I didn't make it. I just made the coffee. This was laying out when I came out here. Maybe Misato stopped by? Wait… no, because this isn't instant food…" He looked baffled.

Asuka raised an eyebrow and turned to look at the blue-haired girl, who met her gaze with a blank stare. "How… did you do that? You were asleep!"

The third child blinked and looked at the quiet girl as well. "Rei-chan? You cooked all this?"

"I woke up a few hours before you did. I was… curious to learn." Rei admitted. "Sit, both of you." Shinji sat immediately, remembering the girl's insistence the other day over the matter. Asuka stared at the other girl for a few moments before sitting, unsure of what was going on. The first child started placing food in bowls and on plates and set them in front of both children before fixing her own meal. "I am sorry if there was anything you wanted that I did not figure out how to cook." She stated modestly.

The red-haired girl raised an eyebrow and watched as Shinji started eating, surprised he was so comfortable with being served. '_He never even seemed comfortable with it when Misato or I cooked and served him. But then again, neither of us are very good cooks.'_ She mused. She tasted the scrambled eggs and frowned down at them. "You uh… never mind." The blue-eyed girl bit her tongue to keep from criticizing the girl's novice attempt.

"Did I do something wrong? I do not eat eggs, so I had no way of knowing if they were done correctly." Rei stated. "If you tell me what I did wrong, next time I will attempt to correct my error."

Asuka shrugged. "Well, you overcooked them. Next time, stir them almost constantly, and take them off the heat when they're still a touch wet. They cook off the flame a little, so if you wait until they're completely done, they dry out as they sit on the plate." Her eyes widened suddenly. "Mein Gott, I just remembered what you called these things! Don't cook eggs for me anymore, please!" The girl requested as she downed a whole cup of coffee and shivered in revulsion.

Shinji blinked in surprise. He knew the German girl loved eggs. She had either scrambled eggs or an omelet nearly every morning with breakfast. And she would often boil eggs and chop them up to add onto salad or to make sandwiches with. In fact, she loved eggs almost as much as she seemed to love pork products. "What did she call eggs?" He inquired curiously. Obviously he had already forgotten what she called them the other day, or he simply hadn't noticed.

As the first child was opening her mouth to respond, the German girl cut her off. "Don't tell him! At least one of us should still be able to enjoy them. Shinji likes those omelets the way you Japanese like to cook them. It'd break his heart if he couldn't eat them anymore." After making sure the girl wouldn't spoil eggs for the boy, she cut into one of the sausages the girl had cooked. "Rei-chan… you didn't cook the sausage long enough." The girl stated, staring at the uncooked pink meat in the center.

Rei frowned slightly. "The book said to cook them for seven minutes on each side. So I cooked them for exactly seven minutes on each side."

"Seven minutes! Only on a medium flame. It's better to cook them on low heat for at least 20 minutes, turning them every five minutes or so. And even then you should cut open the thickest one afterwards to make sure it's cooked all the way through." Shinji explained, aghast.

"The best sausages are cooked on the lowest heat setting for twice that long… up to an hour." The German girl added with a grin as she thought about the succulent meat.

"I am… sorry." The first child stated softly, crestfallen.

"No need for apology, Rei-chan. I said I would teach you to cook whatever you wished to learn. It takes practice." The blue-eyed boy informed her with a gentle smile.

Asuka grumbled. "That's easy for you to say. Your soup came out perfectly, didn't it?"

Rei silently slid her soup bowl and pickled vegetables in front of the red-haired girl.

The second child stared at the bowl with guilt playing across her face. "It's ok, Rei-chan. I'll just throw these sausages back on the stove for a few more minutes. You can eat your breakfast."

"You have a therapy appointment. You do not have time to re-cook your meal, eat it _and_ get ready to go. It is all right, I will go to the NERV cafeteria." The red-eyed girl explained.

Shinji froze, feeling guilty now that he had already finished his soup. "I can make you some more miso, Rei-chan."

"I used the last of it. You are also out of rice. And pickles." Rei explained.

The third child slapped his hand against his forehead. "I can't keep up with buying groceries for two homes."

Asuka chewed her lip nervously then slid the miso soup back over in front of the other girl. "I'll just grab a hotdog on the way in to the doctor's. We passed a little stand for them the other day and I wanted to try one anyway to see if that guy makes a decent frankfurter."

The first child frowned. "But I…"

The German girl interrupted her. "Besides, I don't really care for that stuff anyway. So eat up." Then she got up and went into the bathroom to wash up.

The red-eyed girl blinked a few times before picking up the soup bowl and sipping it. She knew it was pointless to argue further, and it wasn't in her nature to do so in the first place.

"Don't worry, Rei-chan. I'll go shopping today. And I'll cook with you next time, or you can watch me cook." Shinji offered with a gentle smile.

Rei nodded but remained silent.

The third child stared at the girl in quiet awe, finding the shirt she was wearing particularly attractive, but he wasn't sure why. '_I've seen her naked… but wow… she looks amazing like that too. I do not deserve her. She deserves someone who isn't sneaky and cowardly like I am…'_ His train of thought was interrupted when the girl gave him a slight smile before she started chewing on some pickles. The boy gave her a shy smile in return, forgetting what he was thinking about a moment before.

A moment later, the German girl came out of the bathroom, having foregone the post-scrub soak to save time, only using the sponge and body soap. "Rei-chan, why don't you join me and Misato-san for clothes-shopping later today?"

"I have clothes." The blue-haired girl stated.

Shinji glanced over at the second child and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw she was naked except for a towel that she was drying her hair with. He stared and thought about how lucky he was to see two beautiful girls walk around naked… and not kill him for looking.

Asuka noticed the third child's gawk and looked at him curiously, but then a moment later she looked down and realized why his eyes were bugging out. "Pervert!" She cried, wrapping the towel around herself quickly. She sighed a moment later. "Sorry, it's not your fault. I know that."

"I'm not complaining." The blue-eyed boy remarked with a nervous grin, ready to run for it if that ended badly.

The second child shrugged. "It doesn't bother me really… I'm grateful for the interest. But you can appreciate the view without drooling all over the floor, you know." She remarked with a teasing grin. Before the boy could respond she turned her attention back to the quiet blue-haired girl. "Anyway, I know you _have_ clothes. But I saw your closet. You need _more_ clothes. Desperately. You're wearing your school uniform over here and we don't even have school anymore! Besides, don't you want to wear something nice for Shinji when he takes you out?"

Rei quirked an eyebrow up. "He is taking me out?"

Shinji glared at the German girl. '_So much for the surprise.'_

"Well… uh… eventually, I'm sure. I mean, he _is_ your boyfriend, you know." Asuka stated quickly to cover her slip-up.

"I am sure that when he desires to take me out, he will either ask me ahead of time, or at least ask his father so that I am not busy that particular night." The red-eyed girl stated cryptically.

"Busy with what? Your Eva's kaputt (it means the same thing as kaput in English)." A moment later the girl narrowed her blue eyes suspiciously. "They're not trying to make you the new pilot for Unit 02, are they?"

Rei wasn't sure how to respond. She did not lie, but she couldn't very well tell the girl about the top secret projects she was involved in. "Not that I am aware of." She responded truthfully.

"Then what would you be busy with?" Asuka inquired. She wasn't as accepting and reserved as Shinji, so she had no problems asking.

The first child considered how to respond. This was one of the reasons why she so rarely talked, because she didn't lie and often could not tell the truth. She settled on a compromise. "Commander Ikari is my guardian. We… spend time with one another, sometimes. Usually I know ahead of time when I will be with him, but sometimes I do not."

"So blow the old man off if you have plans with Shinji-kun! He can glare menacingly at you any day!" The second child protested, ignoring how pale the blue-eyed boy became.

Rei's eyes narrowed angrily and she got up and started walking towards the girl, intent on slapping her just as she did so long ago when the young Ikari had spoken ill of his father. Perhaps before she knew what the commander was attempting to accomplish, she would have accepted the girl's words ever since she had grown distant from the man and closer to his son, but now…

"Asuka-chan!" Shinji cried suddenly, desperate to avert the confrontation between the girls before it started. When both of them looked his way, he tried to think of something to say. Then an idea came to him. "Ah… it's getting late. You don't want to be tardy, right?"

The red-haired girl looked up at the clock. "Scheiße!" She exclaimed, dropping her towel and running into her room to get some clothes.

Rei turned her curious eyes towards the boy, whom had brought his hand up to the cheek the girl had slapped so long ago, still remembering the sting and surprise he felt that day.

A few moments later, Asuka came out wearing her favorite yellow sundress. She paused for a moment and looked at the first child as she pulled on her shoes at the door. "Oh, you never told me whether you'd join us for shopping. Come on, it'll be fun!"

The red-eyed girl glanced at Shinji for a few moments, but he only gave her an encouraging smile so she turned her attention back towards the other girl. "I will join you, if that is your desire, Asuka-chan."

"Wunderbar! (Wonderful!)" The second child flashed the girl a grin then waved. "I'm off, then!"

It wasn't until after the girl had left that the third child realized something. '_She gave all her money to me to pay for the stuff she wrecked. How is she going to buy a hotdog for breakfast?'_ He wondered.

As Asuka rode a bike into town, wishing she could drive, she groaned as her stomach grumbled angrily at her. "I'm so hungry!"

* * *

Kaoru was sitting on a comfortable armchair with his feet propped up on a coffee table in front of him, listening to Wagner's 'The Flying Dutchman'. A smile graced his lips as his eyes remained closed. "Yes… yes I can see it! Oh, you Lilim make such beautiful heartfelt music…"

Ritsuko, on the other hand, was in an equally comfortable armchair, but she was resting her chin on her palm and staring off into space and completely bored. She had no problems with classical music, or music in general, but she usually only listened to it when she was working on a complex equation or simply trying to decompress after a hard day of work. And usually it was in a hot bath with scented candles. But this angel was listening to it almost nonstop, going from one composer to the next and often listening to the same opera over and over again. It was… irritating.

"Do you not have music where you come from?" The doctor inquired.

"In a sense." The silver-haired angel replied as his finger moved as if he were a conductor leading the orchestra.

"How so?" Dr. Akagi inquired. She had learned a lot about angels already, after she discovered that she only had to ask the questions in the right way, usually very specific inquiries.

Kaoru shrugged. "It's difficult to explain. We communicate telepathically, normally only with emotions and concepts. But we also share the beauty of our souls, which I can only explain to you as music."

The blonde doctor raised an eyebrow, curious about what that might be like. "Is that what the 15th angel was doing? Attempting to communicate with Soryu?"

The red-eyed boy shrugged again. "Possibly. She might have just been saying hi. Or she might have been attempting to understand her little brothers and sisters that struggled so valiantly in a manner which we previously deemed as futile. When we all chose to eat of the fruit of life and your ancestors ate of the fruit of knowledge, we thought they were idiots. It seems as though you made the correct decision… brief lives like mayflies, traded for the very knowledge of the universe. Amazing."

Dr. Akagi was baffled by the statement. "You sound as if you expect to be defeated."

'_I've already been defeated twice.'_ Kaoru thought to himself. "I simply admit it as a possibility. After all, all my other brethren who chose to seek Adam have failed." Just as the doctor was opening her mouth to ask another question, he put his finger up. "Wait, someone is coming. You may want to hide, unless you wish to be discovered here."

"Shit!" Ritsuko swore, gathering up her various personal items and hurrying down into a bunker beneath the house.

The silver-haired angel looked towards the door as he telekinetically moved a chest over the hatch in the floor leading down to the shelter. A few moments later, a knock sounded on his door. He casually strolled over to the door and opened it, not surprised in the least to see the third child giving him a shy and friendly smile. "Good afternoon, Shinji-kun. It's a pleasure to see you."

"Good afternoon, Kaoru-kun. I was going to go pick up some groceries and I decided to stop by here first to pay you a visit. I hope that's all right?" Shinji inquired politely.

"Of course, you're welcome here any time. I was just listening to music. Have you heard this piece?" Nagisa inquired.

The blue-eyed boy listened to the music for a few moments. "Wagner, right? Uh… the Flying Dutchman? I was supposed to start learning this piece on my cello, but that was before I had to come here to be a pilot." He replied, succeeding for the most part in hiding the conflicting emotions over that fateful decision.

"It reminds me of the Lilim… an endless struggle to succeed in the face of insurmountable odds, fueled only by determination and refusing to ever give up." The silver-haired angel commented with a mysterious smile.

"I… suppose you're right." Shinji responded, wondering if Asuka was right when she said he was strange.

The red-eyed boy smiled and gestured for the other pilot to come in. "Please, feel free to venture into my domain, Shinji-kun. I'm guessing you didn't come here to talk about music theory."

The third child blushed and shrugged. "Well, I did have something I wanted to talk to you about, but I also just wanted to see you."

Kaoru nodded and turned the volume of the music down low enough that it was just background noise and indicated the arm chair that Dr. Akagi had formerly occupied. "Have a seat and make yourself comfortable then. What's on your mind, Shinji-kun?"

The blue-eyed boy sat down and paused for a moment, wondering where the smell of perfume was coming from. '_It smells kind of like… Dr. Akagi?'_ A touch of a frown formed on his lips before he shook the anger off. "Well… I know you said you just met Ayanami when you came here to Tokyo-3… but do you know of her at all? I mean… you said you were her older brother."

The fifth child gave the other boy an odd smile. "Well, yes, I suppose you could say that. You may know her better than I do, but if you have a question, I may be able to answer it."

Shinji nodded. "Well… to be honest, she confuses me. When I asked to court her, she agreed. She even seemed happy about it, you know? But… at the same time she's telling me she doesn't mind whom I share my body with… she almost seems to be encouraging it, which doesn't make any sense to me. Also, she seems to be interested in Soryu-san as well. I am at a loss with how to feel about this."

Kaoru considered that for a few moments before responding. "Do you feel she cares about you less because of the affection she gives to Soryu-san?"

The third child shook his head. "No… and I don't really have a problem with it… except I can't figure out if she's trying to decide between us, or if she just doesn't comprehend jealousy and territorial instincts. I mean… it may be nice at first but… won't it eventually cause problems? Someone might start feeling they aren't getting their fair share of attention. Or… I don't know. I don't know what to do or think here."

The silver-haired boy nodded, understanding the boy's confusion somewhat, with an outsider's point of view. "If you were affectionate with someone else, other than Ayanami-san… would you care about her less?"

The blue-eyed boy shook his head emphatically. "No! Of course not! I don't think anything could make me stop loving her." He paused for a few moments as he realized what he had just said. "I mean… stop caring about her." He hastily corrected.

Kaoru smiled in amusement. "Why do Lilim have such a hard time admitting how much you love one another? Why is love such a hard word and concept to accept?"

Shinji shrugged. "I don't know. It's not a word I want to throw around lightly. Besides, it's hard to open your heart to someone. It takes time and trust. And that's difficult… especially for me. I've been betrayed before… more than once. It's not something I ever want to experience again."

The red-eyed angel glanced away for a few moments so the other boy wouldn't see the guilt that crossed his fair features. "Sometimes someone doesn't have a choice in the matter. It's not always done out of malicious intent, but rather a hard choice between two evils. When trust and love are given, sometimes they are betrayed unintentionally by serving a higher purpose."

"That's bullshit." The third child argued, thinking of his father's repeated betrayals. "If you truly love somebody and respect who they are, you don't betray them just because it inconveniences you."

They both fell silent for a while. Kaoru couldn't say anything on the matter because he had betrayed Shinji's trust in a former life once already and would do it again in this one. As for the young Ikari, he didn't have anything else to say on the matter because he didn't want to talk about the examples of when his trust had been betrayed by his father. And, in the most secret depths of his heart he felt betrayed by his mother as well, for abandoning him by dying.

The silence was uncomfortable, however, so the young Ikari decided to change the subject. "Kaoru-kun… have you ever… ah…" The boy paused as he blushed. "Um… had sex?"

The silver-haired boy laughed, though it was friendly and not derisive. "No, Shinji-kun. I have not. Are you asking me to have sex with you? I think that would only add to your confusion."

The third child's eyes widened in surprise and panic. "What! No! No, definitely not! I only asked because… well… ah… I wish Kaji-san were around so I could ask him about this. But I haven't seen him… I think something might have happened to him, because Katsuragi-san has been moping around a bit… and Soryu-san seems to sense something is wrong as well."

The red-eyed angel raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "So if he were around, you would ask _him_ to have sex with you? I'm not sure that's the best way to get experience in the matter, Shinji-kun."

"No! It's not like that!" Shinji protested in a panic. '_Asuka-chan is right… he **is** strange.'_ The boy thought to himself. "Ah… I only asked because… well… I had a little bit of a mishap. Ah…" He turned bright red. '_Why did I even bring this up? I can't even talk about it.'_

"A mishap?" The fifth child inquired.

The blue-eyed boy sighed and covered his face with his hands as he elaborated. "Ah… I kind of… finished before I started."

Kaoru nodded, understanding the other boy's predicament now. "Ah… so you were attempting to have sex with my little sister, and your body got ahead of itself. I see."

The third child's eyes widened in fear. '_Oh shit… why do I keep forgetting he's Rei-chan's older brother?'_ He asked himself as he thought about how much of an idiot he was. "Ah… I'm sorry."

The silver-haired angel laughed. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, Shinji-kun. Ayanami-san must have been rather… surprised."

'_I want to run away. I want to crawl under a rock and disappear. I want the world to forget I ever even existed…'_ The young Ikari thought to himself as he sank further down into the cushions of the armchair.

"I'm not trying to embarrass you, Shinji-kun. Why did you want to ask me about this?" Nagisa inquired curiously.

Shinji sighed and looked out the window, possibly planning his escape route. "I'm just trying to figure out why it happened… and if I can avoid it in the future. Ah… not that I'm in a rush. I mean… I can't talk about this with you. Ayanami is your sister!"

"And this makes me unqualified to give you advice? Or is it because I am not experienced as I assume Kaji-san is?" The fifth child questioned.

"No, not unqualified." The blue-eyed boy responded. "Just… I don't want you to think I'm being disrespectful of Ayanami. I care about her and her feelings. If she weren't willing and ready to do that sort of thing with me, I'd never try to pressure her into it."

The silver-haired boy nodded. "I see. Perhaps it is _you_ who is not ready? Perhaps this was your body's way of telling you that the timing wasn't right."

Shinji considered that. "That… may be so. It was like a dream come true but… all it really did was make me nervous. Maybe it wasn't the right situation… or it was happening too soon. I don't know."

"You said it was hard for you to open up to someone. I think maybe that is especially true if it is with someone you love. Because though others may judge you, it is her opinion of you that matters most to you, is it not?" Kaoru pointed out.

"Yes, that's true." The young Ikari replied with a nod.

The last angel nodded as well. "Then my advice, however biased and uninformed it may be, would be to wait until it felt like the right time."

The third child nodded, blushing again as he reminded himself once again that he was talking about this with his girlfriend's brother. "Hai… you're probably right." He glanced up at the clock and jumped up immediately. "Oh! I'm sorry, Kaoru-kun, but I need to go! I still have to go grocery shopping and get home before it gets too late. I may have to cook dinner. I'm not sure what the girls' plans are yet."

Kaoru nodded and stood up to see the boy out. "Of course, don't let me keep you. Drop by any time, Shinji-kun. It's always a pleasure to see you."

Shinji nodded and bowed quickly as he left. "Thank you! I'll try to stop by again soon. Feel free to come by Misato-san's… the girls would probably appreciate a phone call first to let us know you're coming though. They wouldn't want to be caught… unaware, you know? I'm sorry."

The silver-haired boy laughed and nodded. "It's ok. I understand completely. See you soon, Shinji-kun."

The blue-eyed boy nodded as he responded. "See you, Kaoru-kun." He then hurried off so he could get groceries before it started getting dark.

Kaoru waited until the third child was out of sight before he moved the chest away from trapdoor that led down to the shelter that the doctor was waiting in, rather impatiently and nervously. "You can come out now, Akagi-sensei."

The bottle-blonde doctor climbed out from the shelter and looked out the door, though the young Ikari was no longer in sight. "So Little Shinji came in his pants when he was trying to pop that little doll's cherry, huh? That's hilarious. Like father, like son."

The silver-haired angel chuckled and sat back down in his chair, using his powers to turn the volume back up on the music. He looked at the track listing to figure out what song was playing. "Oh… Ride of the Valkyries. This sounds intriguing."

Ritsuko sighed and plopped back down in her chair. She hated this song… it was played all the time during finals week in her university. "Which brings up something I was going to ask before that little… _boy_ interrupted us. You mentioned that when you 'share the beauty of your souls', it was like what we consider music. Could you elaborate on that?"

Kaoru was silent for several minutes as he considered how to explain it, but words were insufficient. "I can't explain it with words. I guess it's sort of like if you hear a very emotional piece and you empathize with it? It doesn't quite do it justice, though."

Dr. Akagi considered that then raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "Could you do it with a human? If so, would you try it with me? I'd like to know what it's like, in the interests of science, of course."

The red-eyed boy smiled at the doctor. "Are you sure, Akagi-sensei? It could be quite… moving. Possibly even traumatic for you."

"What do I have to lose? I've spent my entire career trying to understand angels and what was made from angels. As long as I can learn more, I want to. No, I need to. Would you share yourself with me, Tabris? Please?" Ritsuko requested, eager to add the experience to her repertoire of knowledge concerning angels.

Kaoru nodded and turned the music off. "Brace yourself. It might be rather… startling." After receiving the doctor's nod, he started singing and a beam of light shot out from his chest and enveloped the scientist across from him.

Dr. Akagi's eyes widened in a mix of horror and reverence. "**_Stop!_**" She cried, tears spilling out of her eyes like droplets of rain falling from the sky. "God in heaven… stop!"

The light vanished and the silver-haired boy quirked an eyebrow up inquisitively. "That bad, huh?"

Ritsuko sobbed openly into her hands and shook her head. "No… how can anything be that… beautiful and loving? Good god… what have we done!"

Tabris smiled gently at the weeping doctor and shook his head. "That is the sound of my soul, Akagi-sensei. It is quite similar to what I hear when I speak to a Lilim. Yes, even you, good doctor. I have not yet encountered a soul that was not beautiful in its own way… and I hope I never do. Whether one species deserves to live more than another should not be decided by something like this."

"How can you be so… forgiving! After everything we've done! After everything **_I've_** done!" The doctor demanded in a hysterical yell.

The fifth child shrugged nonchalantly. "It's a simple choice, Akagi-sensei. You can have fear and loneliness, or you can have love and forgiveness. To be honest, many of my kind made the same choice as you Lilim. Don't judge their merit by examining me. I have always been… different, even before your people gave me a vessel of flesh to inhabit for a time."

"I need… I need to process this for a while." Ritsuko stated, rubbing her temples as she attempted to do just that.

Kaoru nodded. "Of course. Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere… for now."

* * *

"It's normal for teenagers to experiment with their sexuality." Asuka stated in a mocking tone as she approached Misato's apartment. "Danke _vielmals_, Herr Doktor Offensichtlich! (Thank you very much indeed, Doctor Obvious!)" The German girl growled out. "Who gave that guy his credentials, a cereal box?"

She took a few deep breaths to calm the anger boiling in her gut over the perceived condescending tone in the therapist's voice that day before she entered the apartment. "I'm home!" The red-haired girl called out. She frowned when she heard no answer as she kicked off her shoes and walked into the living room. She quirked an eyebrow up at Rei, whom was simply sitting on the coach reading one of Misato's trashy romance novels. "I said… I'm home, Rei-chan."

"Yes, that is quite obvious, Asuka-chan." The first child replied calmly before turning the page.

The blue-eyed girl sighed and walked up in front of the other girl and knelt down until she was eye level with her. "You're really going to have to learn to say 'welcome home', Schätzchen (sweetie pie)." The second child commented before planting a sweet kiss on the quiet girl's lips.

The red-eyed girl tilted her head slightly to the side inquisitively a few moments before realizing what she did wrong. "I'm sorry. Welcome home, Asuka-chan."

Asuka nodded and lied down on the coach, resting her head on the blue-haired girl's lap. "Wo ist Meister Unbesiegbar? (Where is Master Invincible? Or Captain Invincible if you prefer.)

Rei looked down at the second child. "To whom do you refer, Roten Teufel (Red Devil)?"

The German girl smirked up at the other girl. "Shinji-kun, of course. And it's Roter Teufel, by the way."

"I believe he is procuring groceries." The first child responded before inquiring "Why is it Roter? I said your nickname after the question."

"Ja, but this case Red Devil is the subject because it's a direct address, and to whom is the object. As in 'To whom do you, Red Devil, refer to?' Otherwise it would sound like you were guessing I was talking about someone named Red Devil. I assume you were referring to me with that nickname, Eisprinzessin? (Ice Princess)" The red-haired girl inquired with a teasing grin on her lips.

Rei quirked an eyebrow up inquisitively. She thought water would be more appropriate than ice, but kept that to herself.

Asuka smiled up at the blue-haired girl. "Misato-san should be here soon. Give me a kiss before she gets here, please."

The first child brushed her fingertips lightly over the other girl's cheek and bent over while raising her knees to lift the German girl's head up within range. Their lips met in a tender kiss which only lasted about two seconds before the front door opened and they heard the major announcing that she was home.

"She really has some terrible timing." The second child complained as she sat up. "Welcome home!" She called out a moment later.

Misato wandered in and immediately grabbed a beer from the refrigerator, opened it up, downed the whole can, then tossed it in the rubbish bin where it immediately bounced out and hit the floor. She opened up a second can and sat down next to the red-haired pilot. "My eyes almost melted out from all that paperwork! I think I should dump it all in Ayanami's lap, since she's the cause of it." The purple-haired beauty griped. Then she looked over and paled when she saw the quiet girl staring at her. "Oh… hello Ayanami-san. I ah… didn't see you there."

"Welcome home, Katsuragi-shousa." Rei responded softly, choosing not to comment on the older woman's frustrations.

"I'm ah… surprised to see you here." The major commented, looking pointedly at the blue-eyed girl. '_I thought Asuka-chan hated her? Suddenly they're best of friends? It was strange enough when she stayed overnight the other day, with Asuka-chan no less, but now… they're looking quite cozy. What in the world have I missed?'_ She wondered.

"She's going to join us for clothes-shopping, Misato-san. If you saw her closet, you would understand the absolute necessity of such a venture." Asuka informed her, waving her hands expressively as she talked.

"I have clothes." The first child stated.

"She has a few school uniforms, a single set of casual clothes, and that's basically it." The German girl argued, turning to stare at the blue-haired angel. "How any girl survives with so few clothes is beyond me. She doesn't even own a dress! Not one single dress! Can you believe it?" She inquired, turning to face the major.

Misato blinked. She had planned the little shopping expedition so she could covertly find out how the second child was doing psychologically, but now that would either be more difficult… or less if she could observe how the two pilots interacted. "Well… I don't really have the money to pay for clothes for all three of us." She informed them, attempting to refuse the guest politely.

"I do not require your funds for my possessions, Katsuragi-shousa." Rei stated. Secretly she was a little offended that the major assumed she was a free-loader, though she would never give voice to such a thing.

The purple-haired woman covertly hid her dismay. The quiet red-eyed girl just… creeped her out. Dealing with her oft self-sacrificing behavior as a pilot was problematic enough, but spending time with her in a casual atmosphere? It had been uncomfortable enough when she took the pilots out for a ramen meal as a 'treat'. "Well, if you really want her to come along, Asuka-chan…" Thus the major delegated responsibility for the decision to the red-haired girl.

"I invited her, didn't I?" Asuka retorted. She glanced at the other pilot for a moment before adding, "We're ready to go whenever you are, Misato-san."

The major sighed and finished off her beer. "All right. Let's go then."

They made their way down to the street, Rei following silently behind the other two women, then got into Misato's convertible. Asuka hopped immediately into the front with Misato while the blue-haired girl calmly opened the door to the rear and sat down before closing it back up, not jumping over the door as the German girl had done.

Misato glanced up at the first child a few times through the mirror as they drove into town, finding it disturbing how the girl was just silently staring off to the side, watching the buildings roll by. "So… Ayanami. How has your recovery been?"

"No problems to report." Rei replied in a soft monotone.

The major glanced up at her through the rear-view mirror, expecting more to her answer, though she wasn't sure why since she knew how the girl talked. "Ok… but what's your current status? You were badly hurt when your Eva blew up, but I don't see any bandages."

Asuka turned in her seat and looked at the red-eyed girl, realizing that she hadn't so much as a scratch when she saw the girl without any clothes on. "Yeah, Misato-san is right. I heard you were pretty banged up."

"I have healed sufficiently from my wounds." The blue-haired girl responded. She couldn't say more than that, because she would either be revealing classified information, or she would be lying. And she would do neither. She realized that she probably should have worn the bandages for at least another week or two, but that would have been made pointless due to the second child seeing her in the nude.

"So… you weren't as badly injured as the doctors said you were?" Major Katsuragi inquired skeptically.

The first child frowned slightly. '_Why won't she just drop the subject? She's interrogating me with no cause.'_ She couldn't think of a response that would be both truthful and would not reveal information about her angelic heritage, which she was specifically ordered to never divulge to the major, likely due to the woman's intense hatred towards the creatures. She noticed the major's eyes fixing on her through the mirror and knew she was waiting for a response as patiently as she could. Rei looked at the second child, wishing the other girl would suddenly decide to change the subject.

Asuka quirked an eyebrow up, noticing the almost pleading look in the other girl's crimson eyes and wondered why she wouldn't, or couldn't respond. "So where has Kaji been, Misato-san?" She asked, deciding she cared more about the quiet girl's feelings than she did about the answer to Misato's question.

The purple-haired beauty blinked as the subject suddenly shifted and got nervous as she glanced over at the German girl. "Ah… he's… ah… I don't know. You know how he is… he travels a lot for his work. He's probably flirting with some local girls right now and not even thinking about us, knowing him." She responded quickly.

The red-haired girl made a skeptical noise but dropped the subject, taking a moment to glance back at the first child with a look that suggested '_You're off the hook.'_

"Shit!" Misato cursed suddenly, pulling to a stop in front of one of the shops. "This one is closed too. The rest of the clothing stores were in the blast radius. Now what are we supposed to do?"

"The lock is broken." Rei stated.

The major turned in her seat to fix her eyes on the first child. "What makes you think that?"

'_Because I just broke it.'_ The red-eyed girl thought to herself. "It is a hypothesis. It will only take a moment to verify whether it is correct or not." It technically wasn't a lie. Until they physically checked the door, she couldn't be 100 percent sure that she actually _did_ break the lock with her powers.

Asuka noticed the major about to start another interrogation routine with the poor girl so she distracted the woman by jumping out of the car. "I'll check it." She explained as she walked towards the shop. She pulled open the door and smiled at them. "It looks like it's open for business, ladies."

Misato turned back towards the blue-haired girl. "How did you…" She trailed off as she noticed the girl was already getting out of the car and heading towards the shop. "I can't stand that girl…"

All three wandered around the store, picking up the occasional item of clothing to either try on or keep. After selecting a number of clothing items that she thought would especially compliment her figure, Asuka walked around until she found the first child. "Oh no… that is all wrong, Rei-chan!" The girl exclaimed, setting aside her own selections to pull the items in Rei's hands out and tossed them aside. "You have absolutely no fashion sense, do you?"

The red-eyed girl blinked in surprise. "What was wrong with what I had selected?"

The German girl picked up one of the articles of clothing and shook it. "This looks like something a grandmother would wear… who also happened to be blind! And this one… it looks like it was left in the sun too long."

"But they are sufficient for dressing me, which is important because people are modest about such things." Rei argued as she started to reach for the clothes to retrieve them.

The second child shook her head and tossed the unattractive clothes off to the side again. "Nein. I'll select some garments that are… prettier." She looked through the clothes and looked closely at one then over at the first child. "What's your size?"

The blue-haired girl blinked.

"Never mind. This one looks like it'll fit you." Asuka stated, holding a sky-blue low cut blouse up to the other girl's chest.

The first child nodded and took the shirt and watched curiously as the other girl passed a fairly large number of shirts that would have been perfectly appropriate in her own estimation. When a particular shirt was lifted out, however, she protested. "Not that one."

The German girl blinked in surprise. "Why not? I think it would look great on you. It'd compliment your eyes."

"I… dislike the color red." Rei admitted. '_Actually, I hate it.'_

The second child sheepishly put the shirt back and moved on. "What's wrong with red?" She inquired, though what she was really asking was '_What's wrong with me? My hair is red. My favorite color is red. A lot of my clothes are red. My Eva is red. I may as well **be** red which means she hates me.'_

The crimson-eyed angel considered the question, but no real answer came to her. "I do not know. I just… dislike it." She noticed the subtle changes in the other pilot's body language and wondered why she had become so closed off all of the sudden. "It… does not suit me." She finally offered. It was true, but it wasn't the whole truth. Even she did not know what the whole truth of the matter was. She reasoned that it must stem from her former life, for she could not remember any reason why she hated the color red, other than the fact that it reminded her of blood.

Asuka approached with another shirt and held it up to the first child then shook her head. "Too pale for this one." She started looking through clothes again and looked at the blue-haired girl curiously. "Why are you so pale, anyway? I mean I've seen pale Japanese people before, but usually not as pale as you." In her thoughts she added to that statement. '_And other than that fifth child creep, I've never seen anyone with red eyes before.'_

"I… do not know." Rei admitted honestly. She looked at the shirts that the other girl brought over, not seeing why those particular ones were acceptable when the ones she chose were not.

"Let's see… dark blue… definitely. Light purple… acceptable… black… oh yes. Here, hold these." The German girl placed a number of colored shirts into the blue-haired girl's arms and started looking through pants and skirts, selecting a number of them that would match the shirts. "We definitely need to see you in a pair of jeans." She paused when she picked up a pair of black leather pants and started drooling, but the size was too large. "Damn… these would fall off you. And drag the floor. They'd fall off me too. Maybe Misato-san would like them." She gazed over the racks and noticed the busty major was grumbling about how none of the dresses she was trying on would fit her because they weren't roomy enough in the chest. She snickered and made a remark about melons and moved on to the junior dress sizes. "Try this one on, Rei-chan." She requested, handing a slinky black dress to the first child.

Rei set the garments in her arms down and took the dress, and immediately started removing her clothing.

Misato walked up and froze when she saw what the blue-haired girl was doing and noticed that the second child had a similar surprised expression on her face. "Uh… Ayanami? There are changing rooms, you know."

The red-eyed girl gave the major a quizzical look before dropping the last of her clothes. "This area has sufficient room to change clothes in, Katsuragi-shousa." She remarked before starting to slide the dress on.

Asuka shrugged at the purple-haired beauty and helped straighten the dress and nodded. "Bildschön… (Ravishingly beautiful)" She remarked in appreciation.

"How about this one?" Misato inquired, holding up a rather slutty looking dress.

The German girl scowled at the selection. She decided for once to be tactful. "Shinji-kun wouldn't like that one."

"Why not! There's nothing wrong with showing a little skin." The major protested.

"Where is the rest of the dress?" Rei inquired innocently.

The purple-haired woman scowled and set the dress back. "Fine. How about a kimono?"

The blue-eyed girl smiled. "Oh… Shinji-kun would _love_ that. He'd probably ask you to marry him the moment he saw you in one of those!"

The first child quirked an eyebrow up curiously and followed the two as they made their way to the kimono section. She nodded, agreeing with the choice when they held up a dark blue kimono with a light blue flower motif. Blue _was_ her favorite color, and it would compliment her hair.

"Now for the matter of the dress you'll wear whenever you and Shinji-kun go out on a date." Asuka commented, looking through the evening gowns.

"This dress is not sufficient?" Rei inquired, looking down at the black dress she was still wearing.

"That's a cocktail dress, sweetie." Misato informed her.

The first child blinked.

"Semi-formal. An afternoon dress. Whatever you want to call it. If that Dummchen (silly boy) knows what's good for him, he'll take you out on a date that requires a more… elegant dress." The second child elaborated, picking up a lacey semi-transparent purple dress. "I like this one. It's classy, but at the same time, very sexy."

The red-eyed girl looked down at the dress which the other girl was holding against her. "Might I be cold in such a dress?" She inquired.

"If you're lucky." The major commented with a playful smirk.

At the blue-haired girl's curious expression, Asuka explained. "Let's just say if you were a little cold, you might be a bit more… perky. In certain areas. Certain areas that Shinji-kun would like very much to be perky. But… given how hot it usually is, I doubt you'll get that cold."

Rei remained silent. She had no idea what they were talking about, but realized she likely wouldn't even if she asked about it, so she didn't bother.

"Do you have any jewelry, Ayanami?" Misato inquired.

"Jewelry?" The first child questioned.

Asuka and the major looked at each other for a moment before saying what was on both of their minds at the same time. "Jewelry store!"

* * *

As I said above in the Author's note, you can find this story on my website, in its "Ultimate" form. I'm kind of working both forwards and back… I have the first few chapters edited and illustrated, and this chapter will be as well. The last few chapters won't require much editing so they'll go up quickly, and I'll still be working on editing and putting up the earlier chapters. Eventually, the two will meet and they'll all be up. Haha. Next chapter: Sexiness abounds! No more needs to be said. haha


	30. In Perfect Harmony

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Ah, work continues on my website. I have half the chapters of this story up so far. My thanks to anyone who has taken the time to check it out thus far. Also of interest on the website now is Asuka's War Journal, a blog written by her about her experiences, thoughts, observations, and ramblings. You can consider it a supplement to this story, and you can even make comments in it and/or email Asuka directly. Aren't I nice? The link is on the story index page for this story.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 30: In Perfect Harmony

Commander Ikari and Professor Fuyutsuki sat in the commander's private break room having lunch. Gendo paused before he sipped his tea to state "Rei and Shinji are courting now."

Kouzou raised his eyebrows up in surprise, both at the statement itself and the small hint of pleasure in the other man's tone. "Oh? You seem… happy about this development."

The commander nodded. "I am." He let that affirmation hang in the air for a few moments as he chewed on a piece of sushi, savoring the blended flavors of a spicy tuna roll before elaborating. "Despite my personal feelings on their relationship, it has proved to be quite beneficial to our plans."

The vice-commander definitely needed an explanation of that statement. "How so? I would have thought that it would be more than a little distracting to Rei."

The elder Ikari nodded. "That is a possibility. However, in exchange for my permission to Shinji for him to court Rei, he forgave me. For everything." He paused a moment before he emphasized that statement. "**_Everything_**. Including the Dummy Plug incident with the fourth child. This has also cleared up the resentment that Rei was harboring towards me, which would have proved a liability towards our plans."

Professor Fuyutsuki frowned as he chewed on a piece of shrimp sushi. "Be that as it may, she may still refuse to carry out her part of the events that must happen in order for Third Impact to occur as we will it to be."

"No. I explained to her what I would require her to do. I gave her time to come to a decision on the matter, but I could tell she will agree. For Shinji's sake, if not her own." Gendo argued before sipping some green tea.

The professor raised an eyebrow, surprised the man had already told the first child her part in the Third Impact. He wondered if the man was becoming soft concerning the girl, but he kept that to himself. "Even knowing what she will have to do to Shinji, you believe she will agree?"

"Yes. He will recover. Shinji has become stronger lately. His relationship with Rei, as well as his improving relationship with the second child, is making him bolder. A month ago, no matter how much he wanted to, he would not have come to me to request permission to court Rei. He also would not have been able to recover from the revelation of his… of the incident that led to his cloning." Commander Ikari asserted as he finished his meal.

"Which leads me to perhaps the most important question. Are you at all concerned of what might happen if the first and third child have sex?" Kouzou inquired. He noticed the man was still having difficulty speaking of his son's death several years before, but he considered that perfectly understandable and let it slide. After all, he still could not talk about Yui's death, even after over a decade.

The commander raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Should I be?" He asked.

The professor frowned, wondering how the man could have missed the possible consequences of the children's joining. "Rei is, for all intents and purposes, Lilith. Likewise, Shinji is Adam. If they should join together…"

"You worry too much, old friend." Gendo scoffed. "Third Impact would only occur if their cores touched and merged. The only possible way that could occur is if both their AT fields were dropped at the same time. Rei touched the cells of Adam every time she piloted Eva Unit 00 with no problems."

"But Unit 00's cells did not touch her S2 organ. You know that the first child's S2 organ is where her uterus would be in a normal girl." Kouzou pointed out. "If they have unprotected sex, Shinji's ejaculate would carry blue blood cells with it, which would come into contact with Rei's core."

Commander Ikari considered that carefully. To dismiss the notion outright would be foolish, and though he could be called many things, most of them derogatory, a fool he was not. "I do not believe it will cause a problem. Though his blue blood cells would come into contact with Rei's core, it would still not be **_his_** core coming into contact with hers. Therefore, a premature Third Impact should not be a result."

"Should not be is a far cry from will not be, my friend." The vice-commander pointed out.

Gendo scowled. He hated admitting the man was right. "We will have to take that chance, I'm afraid. They have already been experimenting. The concerned warnings of parents rarely prevent hormonal teenagers from acting on their urges. Shinji knows that pregnancy is not a concern with Rei. How likely do you think it would be for me to convince him to use condoms with her? And we don't even know if condoms would prove effective at preventing blue cell transmission. The only option I would have would be to order Rei to not have sexual intercourse with Shinji until after the Third Impact."

"Would she follow that order?" Professor Fuyutsuki inquired skeptically.

The commander nodded. "She would. But the likelihood that she would hate me for it is too great. Akagi's destruction of Rei's clones makes it impossible to replace the first child if she becomes problematic. It would take far too long to manufacture a new clone. It took nearly four months to bring Shinji back, and the first thing he did once he was fully revived was run away from us. And the process has only been marginally improved since then. We do not have that kind of time anymore."

"What of the second child? With the… modifications we made to her, she was the one we planned to be Shinji's… interest. Could we not still… encourage that relationship?" The silver-haired man inquired carefully.

Commander Ikari shook his head. "Rei apparently has no sense of jealousy. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, given the way she was raised. Yui is… was… **_is_** the same way. It was she, after all, who pointed out the benefits of seducing Naoko Akagi. Had I not, she might have taken that job in Germany instead of joining us for Project: E."

Kouzou's eyes widened in surprise, as he had always assumed the man's relationship with the scientist occurred _after_ Yui's death. "Are you saying… that Shinji is pursuing a relationship with Asuka as well?"

The commander shook his head. "I do not believe so. Even though Rei has told him that she does not mind, he still seems to have reservations. Perhaps he feels that even with permission, it would still be unfaithful. Or… perhaps it is due to the girl's… attack on him not that long ago. Were I him, I would not have forgiven her so easily. Even if he starts having sex with the second child, it would not interfere with his relationship with Rei, so it would not prove a deterrent to their… activities. **_That_** is my point, old friend."

The professor sighed. "The future of humanity rests on the shoulders of horny teenagers. God help us all."

* * *

Misato, Shinji, Asuka and Rei all sat around the dinner table, eating a quiet meal. The major was eyeing the first child with a little misgiving still, as she was convinced that there was more to the quiet red-eyed girl than she had been led to believe. She was also suspicious of the relationship that the pilots had with each other, noticing that they seemed a lot more comfortable with each other than she felt was possible if the third child was only pursuing a relationship with one of them. She wondered what kind of strange things they were getting into.

Shinji noticed the tension in the air and cleared his throat nervously. "Ah… so Misato-san, are you done with all the paperwork you've been working late on?"

The purple-haired beauty scowled at the mention of the hellish paperwork. "No. But I am making good progress on it. Perhaps in the future, _you and Asuka_ won't jump straight on the self-destruct switch without considering all the alternatives."

Rei glanced up at the major at the not so subtle dig at her, but she sipped some tea rather than comment on it.

Misato frowned, as she had hoped that would get a rise out of the reserved girl. She had tried to be friendly while they were shopping, but was disregarded more often than not. She did _not_ like being ignored. Nor did she like secrets being kept from her. "So Shinji-kun... you're dating Rei now, is that right?"

"Yes, that's right." Shinji replied without hesitation, casting a smile towards the blue-haired girl.

Major Katsuragi nodded. The shopping experience had basically confirmed that, but she wanted to hear it from the boy's own mouth. "I have to say, I didn't expect that. I always thought you and Asuka-chan would start a relationship."

Asuka looked up sharply at the major, a frown forming on her lips. She wasn't even Japanese, but she noticed how the woman spoke of the first child and then herself. Anger boiled up inside her and she clenched her fists under the table to refrain from snapping at the woman.

The third child noticed the way the red-haired girl reacted and misinterpreted it, thinking she was upset because of the relationship status, rather than her catching the way the purple-haired beauty was talking down to the red-eyed girl. "Uh... well... Asuka-chan and I are friends. We'll always be close, but my heart belongs to Rei-chan."

"What about you, Rei? Are you comfortable with Shinji-kun and Asuka-chan's relationship? Does it make you... nervous?" Misato inquired, a touch of a smile coming to her lips when she earned the red-eyed girl's attention.

As the first child opened her mouth to respond, the German girl couldn't keep silent anymore. "Ok, that's it, Misato-san! Why-"

Rei's quiet response stilled the temperamental girl's angry retort. "Yes. I am quite comfortable both with the bond between Shinji-kun and Asuka-chan, as well as my own bond with each of them."

The major quirked up an eyebrow, both in surprise and interest. "Oh? And what sort of bond is _that_, Rei?"

The blue-haired girl started to reply. "We-"

"Ow!" Shinji cried suddenly, jumping in his chair and looking down.

"What's the matter, Shinji-kun? Do you have a cramp?" Asuka inquired pointedly.

The blue-eyed boy stared at the German girl for several moments as he rubbed his shin before he noticed that all eyes were on him. He blushed and apologized for the disruption. "Yes... a cramp. Sorry!"

The red-haired girl waited a few moments to see if he had anything else to say and then turned to look at Rei, whom was looking at Shinji curiously. "Wonder Girl, why don't you help Shinji to his room and massage that cramp out of his leg?"

Rei stared at the blue-eyed girl. Her eyes drifted down to where the second child was squeezing her hand for some reason. "Hai, of course." She finally replied, not even looking towards Misato as she stood up and helped the blushing third child up, despite his protests that he was fine.

The German girl watched them walk out silently. Once they entered Shinji's room, she turned her head to fix her gaze on the major. "Misato-san, I don't know what is going on with you, but if you ever take it out on Rei-chan again, I _will_ make you regret it." She cut the purple-haired beauty off as she tried to protest. "Furthermore, whether Rei-chan minds the way you talk down to her or not, you will treat her with a little more respect, for Shinji's sake, if not for mine."

Misato's eyes narrowed. She decided to let the way the girl was talking to her slide this time, but that didn't excuse it, even if she was right. "Fine. But something isn't right, Asuka-chan. I saw her when she was injured. She had broken bones. She had so many cuts and bruises that she had bandages all over the place. Her arm was broken in three places, Asuka. _Three_. _And_ she had broken ribs. But look at her... it's like she was never hurt at all!"

"And interrogating her in front of Shinji like she's a war criminal is the way you decide is best to handle your curiosity?" Asuka inquired skeptically.

"Sure, if it works." The major agreed.

"Hmph. Nazi." The German girl bit out, crossing her arms and glaring at the woman in disgust.

**CRACK!** Misato blinked and stared down at her hand, throbbing from the impact against the second child's face. She looked up and saw the red hand print on the girl's cheek. She was just as surprised as the red-haired girl was. "I... Asuka-chan. I didn't mean..."

"You get one free, Misato-san. If you _ever_ hit me again, then I remind you now that I _am_ crazy. I will not be responsible for my actions." Asuka stated coldly. She sniffed as she rubbed her cheek, trying not to let her watering eyes drip from the pain and shock. "And to think... I wasn't even angry with you anymore over your relationship with Kaji. Now you've given me a new reason to despise you."

Major Katsuragi sighed. "Asuka-chan... it was a reflex. I didn't mean..." She paused, noticing the girl wasn't buying her explanation. "Do you want me to get you some ice?"

The German girl snorted in indignation. "I can take worse than you can dish out, woman."

Misato sighed again and stood up. "Fine. I won't apologize again."

"You haven't apologized at all." The blue-eyed girl retorted.

Before the major could reply, the phone rang. She stared at it, but made no move to answer it.

"Answer the fucking phone!" Asuka cried in frustration. When the purple-haired woman still didn't move, she hissed and stood up and answered it herself. "What do you want?" She demanded into the receiver.

"Uh... uh... is... uh... Mi...uh... Katsuragi-shousa there?" A timid voice inquired. Whoever it was had been rattled by the vehemence of the greeting.

"Yeah." The blue-eyed girl shoved the phone in Misato's face and walked out into the living room area without another word.

"Who was that?" Shinji asked softly. He and Rei had moved out into the common area after they heard the sound of the slap, wanting to make sure the two didn't come to blows. The third child wasn't sure what was going on, but he hoped that the harmony of the home wasn't permanently disrupted. He was offended by the way the major hadn't apologized for slapping the German girl, however.

"It was that captain chick from NERV." Asuka replied with an uncaring shrug.

The blue-eyed boy blinked in surprise. "Ibuki-taii? For... Misato-san?" He felt ill at ease, but he wasn't sure why.

Rei reached out and tenderly brushed her fingers over the blue-eyed girl's reddened cheek, frowning slightly as she glanced at the dark-haired boy. She noticed his reaction at the mention of Maya, but didn't comment on it, of course.

Misato raised her voice in the kitchen, obviously upset by whatever the young captain had to say. "Akagi-sensei did? ...Yes, I'll be right in."

The red-haired girl noticed how both of the other pilots stiffened at the doctor's name and wondered what was going on. Before she could inquire about it, however, the major walked in.

"Sorry kids, it looks like I'll be going back into headquarters. I'll probably be there until tomorrow evening, so don't worry about cooking for me tomorrow. I'll just eat at the cafeteria." Major Katsuragi informed them as she picked up the jacket to her uniform, a grim expression on her face.

"But you haven't even had any sleep since your double-shift, Misato-san!" Shinji exclaimed in concern.

"Comes with the uniform." Misato stated with an expressive shrug. She paused at the door for a moment and said, "Asuka-chan? ...I'm sorry." And with that, she left.

The pilots fell into an uncomfortable silence, before the unlikeliest one of them spoke. "Are you injured, Asuka-chan?"

The German girl sniffed indignantly and shook her head. "This? Please. I hit _you_ harder than this." She paused for a moment as she winced at the memory of that day. "Oh... and sorry about that, by the way."

"There is no need for apology." The first child stated. She almost missed the defeated look on the blue-eyed girl's face and realized she needed reassurance. _'Why do other people always need such coddling? Am I... simply strange because I never received it and never expected it?'_ The quiet girl wondered, though she realized she should not presume her own needs upon others. "But thank you. It... means a lot that you did apologize."

Asuka waved her hand dismissively, though inwardly she was relieved. A devilish smile formed on her lips as she looked at her fellow pilots. "So... how did you like your massage, Shinji-kun?"

Shinji blushed, realizing what the girl thought they were doing in there. "It wasn't like that. We just sat down and gave you time to talk about whatever it was you wanted to say to Misato-san." His expression darkened slightly as he glared at the red-haired girl. "And don't kick me so hard next time! What was that about, anyway!"

The blue-eyed girl shrugged and plopped down on the couch. "I didn't like how Misato was talking to Rei-chan. I'm not even Japanese and I know she was talking to her like she was... a thing. It should have bothered you too."

The third child nodded as he looked at the red-eyed girl. "It did. But it's not my place to say anything to Misato-san about it. She's my elder."

"Bullshit." Asuka snorted. "Next time you don't stick up for your girlfriend, I sure as hell will. Then I'll smack you for not having the balls to do it yourself. Are we clear?"

Rei frowned slightly as she saw how embarrassed her boyfriend became at being chastised. "Asuka-chan, it is not necessary. Katsuragi-shousa may not always speak of me as if I matter, but she has never intentionally harmed me."

"But it's still not right." Shinji protested. He wrapped his arms around the taciturn beauty and held her close. "You matter to _me_. And you matter to Asuka-chan. She cares about us, so even if Misato-san doesn't regard you as highly as we do, she should still treat you with more esteem, out of respect for us if not for you."

A touch of color came to Rei's cheeks. "Th... thank you." She stated, surprised by the conviction in the boy's voice.

They all fell silent once more until Asuka had an idea. "There's still some movies we wanted to see, ja? Shinji-kun, select a movie while Wonder Girl and I get into some more comfortable clothes."

The first child started to protest. "But I..."

"Any movie you feel like, Shinji-kun." The German girl interrupted her as she pulled the red-eyed girl into her bedroom. "Rei-chan, trust me. I know what I'm doing." As the blue-haired girl raised an eyebrow questioningly, the second child reached out and gently undid the tie to the girl's school uniform and pulled it off. A playful smile came to Asuka's lips as she trailed her fingers over the girl's slender pale throat before she knelt down and undid the sash binding the skirt around the girl's waist.

The red-eyed girl looked down into the other girl's royal blue eyes, feeling her cheeks warming though she was unsure of why she felt this way, or even what the emotion was.

The red-haired girl grinned as she slid the skirt and vest off the other girl. She then gently lifted first one leg to pull off the girl's sock, and then repeated the action on the other foot so her feet were bare. Asuka looked up and smiled. "I'm trying to decide whether to leave the panties on or not." She stated.

Rei watched the other girl silently.

The German girl looked up, observing the subtle shifts in the other girl's crimson eyes as she lifted her hands up and ran her fingers slowly underneath the waistband of the girl's panties, looking for any hint as to whether the quiet girl wanted her to remove them or not. It was then that she saw it... the nervous swallow. Asuka gave the blue-haired beauty a lopsided grin as she gently pulled the cotton panties down. Then she lifted the shirt up a bit and stared at the other girl's sex for a few moments before leaning forward to plant a tender kiss a little under the girl's navel before she stood up. As she unbuttoned the other girl's shirt, she inquired, "If you don't mind my asking... why do you shave all your hair off... you know... down there?"

The red-eyed girl looked down, realizing what she was being asked a moment later. "I do not." She replied. As the blue-eyed girl gave her a skeptical look, she elaborated. "It does not grow for me to shave or not shave."

Asuka made a thoughtful noise as she unhooked and removed the girl's bra and gently cupped one of her breasts. "Funny, you don't _look_ like you aren't old enough for that yet..."

A soft sigh escaped Rei's lips at the intimate touch. "It... is a matter of hormones, not age. I do not have ovaries."

The red-haired girl blinked in surprise and looked down, not seeing any sign of a surgical scar. "Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"No need for apology, Asuka-chan." The blue-haired angel replied. As the other girl lifted her shirt back on and buttoned only the bottom few buttons, she lifted her gaze from the shirt to the other girl's royal blue eyes, an unspoken question in her crimson orbs.

"You saw the way Shinji-kun was looking at you while you were dressed like this earlier. Believe me, you'll make an impression." Asuka stated. She raised an eyebrow when she noticed the other girl's eyes narrow slightly. After a moment, understanding dawned on her. _'That wasn't her question. What does she... oh. Gott im Himmel...'_ The German girl swallowed nervously. "Rei-chan... undress me like I did you."

"Hai." The first child responded, removing the red-haired girl's clothing with just as much tender care and reverence as Asuka had used. Rei looked up at the other girl's blue eyes for a moment before lowering the girl's underwear. She stared at the red curls adorning the second child's womanhood curiously, her first good look at another woman's most intimate area. "So this is what it normally looks like."

The German girl bit her lip, feeling aroused by the interest and possibly even adoration in the other girl's eyes. Had they been alone in that apartment, she would have asked the girl to touch her. But, she had Shinji to consider. She couldn't contain the gasp of desire that escaped her lips when the first child tenderly kissed her stomach, however, in the same manner as she had before.

Rei stood up and gingerly removed the other girl's bra, dropping it unceremoniously to the floor. She gently reached out and cupped one of the taller girl's breasts, curious as to how it would feel in her hand. "You are more developed here as well." She stated softly.

Asuka's breath was quickened. _'If she doesn't stop touching me like that... fuck it.'_ She leaned forward and captured the quiet girl's lips with her own, pulling her close as she deepened the kiss. She reached down to grasp the first child's bum and squeezed it tenderly as their tongues danced. A few moments later she reluctantly pulled away slightly and placed one last kiss on the other girl's pale throat. "I am so gay for you right now." She whispered into the girl's ear. She blinked a moment later when she heard a lovely tinkling sound and realized the quiet and reserved red-eyed girl was actually giggling. She smiled down at the shorter girl and pulled away, picking up an overly large cotton t-shirt to wear. "Shinji's waiting for us."

"Hai." The blue-haired girl raised an eyebrow slightly at the other girl's choice of apparel. "Why did you not simply re-adorn the other shirt, as I am dressed?" Normally she wouldn't ask but she was genuinely baffled.

The German girl brushed her fingers through the other girl's silky blue tresses and grinned. "Shinji-kun just isn't ready for filet mignon _and_ steamed lobster. Besides, we want his attention on _you_ tonight. You're the one he should be looking at."

"But-" Rei started to protest.

"Another time." Asuka stated with more certainty than she felt, leaning forward to kiss the other girl once more to silence her protest. "Shinji's waiting for us." She repeated before walking out into the den area.

The first child sighed. She simply didn't understand the other two pilots' actions sometimes. She walked out as well and blushed slightly when the blue-eyed boy's mouth dropped open in awe as he saw how his girlfriend was dressed.

The German girl frowned for a moment at the boy. "Hey, you're still fully dressed! Get in your room and don't come out until we have some eye candy as well, Dummchen!"

The third child blinked and turned his gaze to Asuka for a few moments before her words sank in. "Oh! Sorry. I didn't realize..." He blushed and hurried into his bedroom to change, not needing to finish his statement.

"You can be quite... demanding, Asuka-chan." Rei observed as she sat down on the opposite end of the couch from the second child.

"Ja, that is true. Does it bother you?" The blue-eyed girl inquired cautiously.

"I would not have it any other way, Asuka-chan." The first child replied softly.

The German girl felt her cheeks heat up so she glanced away self-consciously. She felt relieved that her aggressive and dominating personality wasn't repulsing the girl. She assumed that the young Ikari felt the same, as he never complained about her take charge attitude, except while piloting the Evas and he disagreed with her, or when she was being hostile.

Both girls turned their attention to the third child as he exited his bedroom, wearing boxer shorts and a white undershirt. "Much better." Asuka stated with a nod.

Rei watched the boy with a penetrating stare as he walked over to join them on the couch. She admired the boy's physique, finding it quite pleasing to the eye. She could have done without the shirt, though. After he was seated, the quiet blue-haired girl cuddled up to him and a moment later the red-haired girl did the same, though not quite as close. Asuka wanted to be close to them both but she didn't want to distract the boy from his girlfriend.

The second child turned the movie on and settled in, but she stiffened in shock when the movie started. "Shinji-kun... why did you put a sex movie in?"

Shinji blinked in surprise. "I didn't know!" He tried to get up to change to a different movie disc but both girls were still cuddled into him so he'd dislodge them both in the attempt. "Ah..."

"I'll change it." Asuka stated, getting up and bending over to eject the movie and find another one. "Pervert." She grumbled out.

"Look at the title! It in no way sounds like it'd be a hentai! I swear!" The third child protested. He became silent suddenly as he realized the girl's shapely posterior was in plain sight, with no panties. He could even see the lips of her sex. He cleared his throat nervously, shifting because the erection that popped up when he saw how Rei was dressed had returned with a vengeance.

The first child noticed the prominent tent formed in the boy's underwear and followed his gaze, then her crimson eyes returned to regard her lover. She rested her hand on his thigh, but didn't move it after that.

Shinji swallowed nervously, looking down at the hand on his leg, so close yet so far away... _'I can't take much more of this...'_ He thought to himself.

"Damn kanji." Asuka grumbled, oblivious to the plight of the third child as her hips bounced slightly as she rifled through the movie discs. Finally she found one that looked like it would be acceptable to them all and put it in. She sat back down and cuddled back up to the young Ikari as she hit play. She blinked and glanced down, spotting the bulge in the boy's underwear and wondering what got him going. _'Did he get that turned on just because Rei's hand is on his lap? I hope he doesn't cum in his pants before the night is over...'_

The third child relaxed a little as the movie played, though his eyes kept straying down to the red-eyed girl, fascinated how the illumination from the movie accentuated the girl's pale skin. A smile formed on his lips as he wondered how many men would kill to trade places with him right now. "That girl reminds me of Aida-kun." He remarked.

"The one with the camcorder? I thought the same thing." The German girl responded. "I think she's got the hots for the main character."

"Why do you say that?" Shinji inquired, glancing down at the blue-eyed beauty.

Asuka pointed at the girl as she responded. "Just look at her! She records the girl almost constantly! And is it me, or did she just position that camera up the girl's skirt?"

"Yes, that is so." Rei spoke up in her trademark soft tone.

A silly grin formed on the blue-eyed boy's lips as he wondered if the two girls in the show would kiss.

The first child quirked up an eyebrow curiously. _'Shinji-kun is getting aroused again. What has his interest this time? I don't see anything especially sexy on the screen, and Asuka-chan has not moved...'_

"Why do so many of these anime shows involve trading cards, or cards in general?" Asuka wondered aloud.

"I don't know... they probably had cards like those that kids could buy, before Second Impact." The third child guessed.

The German girl shrugged. "So... basically these cards came to life and this girl and her boyfriend are trying to recapture them because they're causing all sorts of mischief. Am I understanding this correctly?"

"Seems like it to me." Shinji agreed.

"And the camcorder chick is totally hot for her." The red-haired girl added.

Both blue-eyed pilots blinked in surprise and looked over at Rei, whom was giggling softly at the other girl's deadpan observation. She stopped when she noticed them looking at her. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing!" The dark-haired boy immediately asserted.

"It's just rare to hear you laugh, Rei-chan. We enjoy bringing merriment to your heart." Asuka added.

The crimson-eyed angel blinked. "I... was laughing?"

"More of a giggle, but ja. You didn't know?" The German girl inquired.

Rei shook her head. "I did not notice."

"That's too bad. If you did, you'd hear how beautiful it is, as we have." Shinji stated, gazing at the girl in adoration.

The first child blushed as her eyes widened in surprise. The other two pilots seemed to have a talent for flattering her. "Th... thank you." She replied softly, turning her attention back towards the show so she wouldn't feel so embarrassed anymore.

After the show was over, Asuka turned to look at the blue-haired girl and grinned. "Hey Shinji-kun, Rei-chan looks tired. Perhaps you two should get some sleep."

The third child blinked and looked over at the red-eyed angel. She didn't look tired in the least. He turned back to look at the German girl, unsure of what was going on. "Oh? What about you?"

"I'm going to stay up a while and watch another movie. Then I'm going to take a nice hot bath before bed. I'll be along in a few hours." The second child responded.

Shinji was confused. "Well, I don't mind seeing another movie... Rei-chan, are you sleepy?"

Rei looked over at the red-haired girl, confused as well. "I do not mind seeing another movie either."

Asuka sighed. _'They don't get it. Do I have to spell it out for them?'_ She wondered. "Let me try this another way. I'd like some time to myself for a while, ok? I found a movie in there that's in Deutsch, and while Rei-chan might be able to follow it, you'd be bored to tears, Shinji-kun. So go to _bed_. With _Rei-chan_."

_'Uh oh, Asuka must be in one of her moods. I better do what she says.'_ The blue-eyed boy thought to himself, thinking the girl was getting cranky for some reason. "Oh... ok. Good night then, Asuka-chan. Enjoy your movie." He stated as he stood up. _'I don't remember a German language movie in the ones we picked up from the video store...'_ He mused.

The first child stood up as well and silently followed the dark-haired boy, all the while wondering what was going on that she was missing.

"Hey, don't I at least get a good night kiss?" The blue-eyed girl inquired, giving the other two pilots a pretty pout. She just couldn't resist.

"Uh... sorry. Excuse me." Shinji blushed and pecked the girl on the cheek.

"You call that a kiss? You're making me feel unloved here. Rei-chan, kiss me." The German girl requested, feeling offended by the chaste kiss from the boy.

"Hai." Rei replied, bending over to press her lips against the other girl's, taking a moment to run her fingers down the girl's jawline and then through her long red tresses. "Good night, Asuka-chan." She stated softly as she pulled away.

Asuka smiled. "See? _That_ girl knows how to give a good night kiss, Dummchen. You should take lessons." She teased the boy whom blushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry." The third child replied, feeling bad for hurting the girl's feelings. He hadn't realized she wanted a full on kiss.

"Don't say you're sorry, idiot!" The German girl protested with a scowl of annoyance. "Either rectify the situation or go to bed and try again tomorrow. Have I taught you nothing!"

Shinji paled slightly, feeling uncomfortable with this. While it was true that the first child seemed to have no problems in expressing her affection openly in front of him, he felt awkward doing the same. He scratched the back of his head nervously. He felt the eyes of both girls on him and knew that simply going to bed would hurt at least one of their feelings so he leaned over and pressed his lips to the redhead's, holding the kiss for several moments before pulling away. "Better?" He inquired.

"A little. Good night, Shinji-kun." The blue-eyed girl replied, smiling at the two lovers as they made their way to Shinji's bedroom. "I really hope they got the hint." She muttered to herself as she put in one of the thought-provoking meaning of life animes that Shinji didn't really care for, though she wouldn't be surprised if Rei would have liked it, given her philosophical nature.

Shinji and Rei got comfortable on the bed, with the blue-haired girl cuddled into the boy's chest and his arm around her shoulders. "Asuka-chan sure can be... moody at times." He commented.

"Perhaps." The first child replied softly.

"I guess she just wanted some time to herself." The blue-eyed boy added.

"Perhaps." The red-eyed girl repeated.

The young Ikari was silent for a while before he inquired out of the blue, "Rei-chan... do you know how I feel about you?"

"Yes." Rei replied.

"But... I've never told you." The dark-haired pilot protested, confused over her confident reply.

The first child raised her head to look the boy in the eye in the dim light, which made her eyes seem darker than normal. "And you believe that words are sufficient to express your emotions?"

"I... don't know. But, isn't it important to say the words?" Shinji inquired.

"Shinji-kun." The red-eyed girl said. "You told me how you feel when you saved my life. You told me how you feel when you held my hand, and when you defied the commander to stay at my side when I requested it. You told me when you cared for me whilst I was injured. You tell me every day, every time you look at me, or touch me, or just think about me. You know how I feel about words. They are... inefficient."

"Does... that mean you don't want me to tell you how I feel?" The third child asked, unsure of how he felt about the matter. Words were important to him, at times his whole reason for doing the things he did was to hear a few simple words. Actions confused him at times, but words were... straightforward and honest, weren't they?

Rei sighed. She hated having to talk this much, especially on matters of the heart. _'Is this what it means to share love with someone? To be forced to communicate in an inefficient manner on matters that can not be fully understood by the brain?'_ She wondered. "If you must say the words, I do not want to hear them simply because you think you _should_ say them. Only say them if you feel it so strongly that you cannot help _but_ to say them. Regardless, it is unnecessary. I know how you feel about me. I have always known. My heart knew you before we even met."

The blue-eyed boy was floored. He never imagined the girl could feel things with such depth, because she always expressed how little she understood her own heart. But it seemed she understood her heart even better than he understood his. Her words brought up a distant memory from the prior year, however. "When I first came to Tokyo-3, while the third angel was attacking... I saw you."

"Yes, I remember." The first child responded, remembering when she was wheeled towards Unit 01, because Shinji hadn't wanted to pilot it. "You held me, and even though I was in a lot of pain, it brought me comfort."

"No, before that." Shinji stated. That got her attention. "After I tried to call Misato-san because she was late in picking me up. I put the phone down and I felt... a presence. I turned and saw you, wearing your school uniform and looking at me. Then I heard the sound of the angel stepping and some birds flew away, which distracted me for a moment. When I looked back, you were gone. Even before I saw you, I knew you as well."

The red-eyed angel blinked. "You are sure... it was me?"

"Of course." The third child responded with confidence.

The young Ayanami considered that. It had not been her, but it was her. It was... "Lilith."

"I'm sorry?" The blue-eyed boy was confused and didn't think he heard her right.

"It was the me from last time." Rei elaborated mysteriously.

"I don't understand." Shinji said while blinking rapidly. He wondered why those words made his head hurt.

The first child shook her head. "It does not matter. I am beginning to understand. Things are starting to make sense."

The third child sighed, more confused than ever. "What is? What is starting to make sense? Because you're not making any to me..."

"Do you trust me, Shinji-kun?" The blue-haired girl inquired, rather than answering his question.

"Of course." Shinji replied immediately.

The red-eyed angel nodded. "Then commend yourself unto me. I cannot explain things to you now, but someday they will make sense.

"Because you feel the same about me as I feel for you?" The blue-eyed boy asked in a soft whisper.

Rei stared unblinking at him. _'Has he not been listening to a single word I have said, or paid attention to how I react to him and look at him?'_

The third child became self-conscious, unsure of how to take the girl's silence. She had said words were inefficient, but did that really mean she wouldn't say the words? It didn't make any sense to him. And yet, Asuka had said she understood the girl, probably better than he did. Which made him wonder if he really was an idiot like the second child always said. Or was it just that he had less experience dealing with people than she did? "I'm sorry." He said.

"No need for apology." The first child responded softly.

Shinji sighed. He didn't even know why he apologized, except perhaps out of habit. He noticed Rei glance at the door, so he turned his attention in that direction as well and a moment later he heard the soft footsteps of the second child away from the door as well as her muttering about idiots. _'Wow, she really is in a bad mood... I wonder what we did this time?'_

The blue-haired beauty turned her gaze back up to her lover and stared at him. Now she knew what the big production about the other girl giving them some time to themselves was about, but apparently the boy did not. It was really making her frustrated.

The third child stared back at his girlfriend, unsure of what was on her mind. "Rei-chan?" He whispered.

"Yes, Shinji-kun?" She whispered back.

The young Ikari stared into the girl's crimson eyes, feeling nervous all the sudden, but he wasn't sure why. "I... don't know. I just feel like... I don't know." He felt like an idiot.

"Words are... inefficient." The first child stated.

"Hai." The blue-eyed boy agreed with a nervous swallow.

Had she not been as reserved and gentle as she was, she likely would have smacked him over the head. _'Can't you see what is in my eyes?'_ Rei wondered.

Shinji felt frustrated as well, but for a different reason. _'This is the only thing I don't like about Rei-chan... why can't she just tell me what she wants! I can't read her mind! At least Asuka-chan tells me straight out what she wants and when she wants it.'_ He thought to himself. After a long patch of silence between them, he couldn't think of anything to say other than, "Ah... good night, Rei-chan."

The first child felt offended and rejected, but kept that to herself. Mostly. "Good night then, Ikari."

The boy's blue eyes snapped open in shock. "Ikari? Are you... angry with me, Rei-chan?"

"Should I be?" The blue-haired girl inquired, in a tone that suggested she didn't know.

He hated to admit it, but he felt like running away. Luckily, he suppressed that urge. "I can't read your mind, Rei-chan. I don't know what you want."

Rei frowned slightly. "I do not expect you to read my mind. Only your own heart. And to trust me enough to tell you when I do not want to do what you ask."

"But you never tell me when you don't want to do something! You never tell me _anything_! How am I supposed to know you and what you want when you don't _tell_ me!" The young Ikari demanded, unable to hold his tongue.

"What did I say the other day when you asked me to pleasure you with my mouth?" The red-eyed angel inquired.

Shinji blinked. _'Shit, she's right.'_ He realized. "You... said no."

"Do you know why I said no?" Ayanami asked.

"Because you don't eat meat?" The third child suggested jokingly.

The girl blinked her crimson eyes several times in surprise then giggled softly. "That may be so."

More serious this time, the young Ikari replied, "You said no because you didn't want to do it."

"That is true." Rei agreed.

Shinji sighed. "So I'm just supposed to guess what you want, when you want it, and you'll tell me no when I'm wrong?"

The blue-haired girl considered that for a few moments before responding. "That is... half of it."

"And the other half?" The boy asked.

The first child frowned. She hated repeating herself. "Have you already forgotten what I said several minutes ago?"

The dark-haired boy thought back and a light seemed to turn on in his mind. "Oh. Oh! Oh shit. I... I'm sorry."

"Your apology is accepted." Rei deadpanned.

The young Ikari blinked in surprise. _'Every time I've apologized... she said it wasn't necessary. This time, she accepts it? What is different about this time?'_ He wondered. He couldn't figure out the answer so he had to ask. "Why... is it accepted this time? You always say it's not necessary."

"Because in the other instances, you were being yourself. I accept you for who you are, Shinji-kun. But this time, you are fighting with yourself because you assume your nature and desires are unwanted." The red-eyed angel explained.

"But... they're not?" Shinji asked for clarification.

"Must I always repeat myself? I accept you for who you are. If I must repeat myself once again, then I think it best that I return to my apartment and allow you to figure these things out." Ayanami stated, sounding almost defeated.

Understanding finally dawned on the dark-haired boy. _'So that means... good god I **am** an idiot.'_ He realized. "Rei-chan... may I..."

Rei silenced him by pressing a finger to his lips. "Do not ever ask me in that manner again."

The third child was astonished and a little scared by the intensity in the girl's eyes. _'What the hell did I do wrong?'_ Then he remembered Asuka's words. _'Don't ask her stupid stuff like that!'_ She had said. He realized that since the German girl had come to know the girl better, she hadn't asked her for permission to do anything. She had either done it, or asked her to do it. But never for permission. Realizing that, he knew what he had to do. He brushed his fingers tenderly over the girl's ivory white skin, marveling at how the moonlight seemed to make it glow. Then he brought his head down to hers and kissed her, trusting that she'd tell him to stop or push him away or something if his advances were unwanted.

_'Finally he understands!'_ The first child thought as she kissed the boy back, making a soft "Mmm" sound into his lips. She brought her fingers up to run through his hair, though it wasn't quite as fun to run her fingers through his short hair as it was with Asuka's long hair. But it was his, so it was still wonderful.

Shinji rolled the girl over onto her back and traced the tip of his finger over the girl's collarbone, delighted by the soft sigh that she let out from the touch. He lifted his head up to look into her eyes as his hand went lower, to trace his fingers over her firm belly and up over her ribs. He had never felt so turned on in his life as he did looking into her eyes as she fought a losing battle against fluttering her eyelids. He pressed his lips to her slender throat, kissing several places before he found the spot that made the girl sigh and bare her throat. A moment later, he was cupping her soft breast and tenderly massaging it.

Rei moved her hands down to grip the boy's shirt and looked into his eyes for a few moments as her hands gripped the material.

The third child paused, unsure of what the girl wanted and why she hadn't taken his shirt off if that was it. After a few moments he realized she wanted him to ask her to do it. "Rei-chan... undress me."

The blue-haired beauty smiled and pulled the boy's undershirt off, tossing it into the corner without a second thought. She ran her fingers over her lover's chest and ribs, marveling at how much firmer he felt than Asuka, but at the same time the skin itself was soft and supple. It fascinated her. She brushed her fingers down his belly as he leaned back onto his knees, her crimson eyes nearly burning into his skin as she examined it. She hooked her fingers into the waistband of his boxers and pushed them down, giggling softly when his erection started bobbing as it was freed. A moment later, she leaned up so she could remove the article completely and tossed it over into the corner on top of his shirt. A touch of a smile came to her lips as she looked over his naked body.

Shinji smiled down at the girl and brought his hands up to her stomach, unclasping the few buttons that weren't hanging loose already and brushed the shirt open to gaze intently down at her bared body. "Beautiful." He whispered. No matter how many times he saw her, with or without clothes, he could never get over his awe at how lovely she was. He smiled when he noticed her cheeks redden at the compliment and he was glad the moonlight allowed him to see it. "Lie still." He requested, running his hands up her silky smooth legs towards his destination.

The first child shivered slightly, both from the physical sensations of her lover's touch, as well as getting turned on by the command in his tone. She looked down her own body at him, feeling her mouth getting a little dry, forcing her to swallow nervously. She wasn't sure what he was planning until his fingers touched the soft petals of her sex. "Mmmmmm." She groaned softly, smiling at the sensation.

"Spread your legs a little wider. Let me see you." The blue-eyed boy requested. He felt nervous making such requests, but somehow, with her, if felt right.

"Hai." Rei replied, parting her thighs without a bit of modesty.

The third child stared down at the moist petals, marveling at how mysterious and beautiful that part of her was, so like the rest of her in that way. His fingertips brushed over the lips of her womanhood and spread them, so that he could see what he was searching for. A triumphant smile appeared on his mouth and he gently pressed his finger up into her body, amazed at how warm and tight it felt. _'Oh god... am I supposed to fit in there!'_ He wondered, feeling her inner walls squeezing down on his finger.

The red-eyed girl shifted nervously underneath the boy's touch, feeling a yearning she couldn't quite understand nor explain. "Shinji-kun..." She whispered.

"Hmm?" His eyes moved up from where his finger was moving back and forth inside her, exploring her depths. He saw something in her crimson eyes that drew him like a moth to a flame. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, surprised when her tongue snaked into his mouth.

Rei pulled away from his touch and kissed the boy's neck before leaning her head back to look him in the eye.

Shinji raised his eyebrows, surprised. _'She... couldn't be done already. Could she?'_

The first child started getting frustrated again. "Shinji-kun..."

The blue-eyed boy blinked as he felt confused. Then understanding started to dawn on him when he felt her legs spread even wider. He realized she wanted him... to be one with him. _'Am I even worthy for her? She seems to think so...'_ He thought. He glanced down at his painfully stiff erection, hoping he wouldn't mess up like he had the night before.

"Shinji-kun, I'm down here." Rei teased gently.

The third child blushed and nodded. "Hai. Ah... Rei-chan... guide me to the right place..."

The girl's red eyes narrowed, unsure of what he meant before he looked down. _'Oh... but... he has a much better view than I do! How am I supposed to know?'_ She wondered. She reached down to grasp his shaft gently, surprised when it seemed to jump in her hand. She pressed it to her sex, fidgeting with it until it was parting the soft petals. When he pressed his hips forward, however, it didn't feel right. "Ow." She muttered.

"Are you all right?" Shinji asked, surprised at her reaction.

Rei looked down, trying to figure out what the problem was. She knew it couldn't be a hymen blocking the path, she remembered reading about it in one of the medical textbooks she read last year when she was injured. Pelvic exams were the best way to examine her S2 organ, so she figured that unnecessary membrane had long since been taken care of. So something else was the problem, but she couldn't put her finger on it. That thought gave her an idea. "Shinji-kun... can you... back away for a moment, please?" She requested in a soft vulnerable tone.

The young Ikari moved away immediately, concerned now. "Did I hurt you?" He asked, remembering hearing that it usually hurt for girls their first time. _'I barely went in...'_

The first child frowned and pressed a finger to where she had pressed the boy's manhood and realized the path inside her wasn't quite as direct as she assumed. Her finger went lower and then she found it. _'No wonder... it was much lower than I expected. This is the result of me being unfamiliar with my own body.'_ She gestured for the boy to return, which he did hesitantly. She took his erection in her hand once more and guided it to the spot she now knew to me her center. This time, when he pressed forward, it felt right. "Proceed, Shinji-kun." She requested.

The blue-eyed boy nodded, readjusting his hips a bit so he could better control his descent. A few tense moments later and he was halfway inside her. _'Oh god... I feel like I'm going to cum already!'_ He thought in a panic as he felt the heat clenching around him.

The red-eyed girl felt like the breath was being knocked out of her, yet at the same time, she needed more. Her arms moved behind his neck to pull him closer so she could kiss him, which also made him move further inside her.

"Nnng... shit..." Shinji gasped.

Ayanami blinked and pulled her head back so she could look at him, puzzled by his reaction. "Shinji-kun? Did you... finish?"

"No." He stated through gritted teeth. His eyes closed and he desperately tried to calm his body down. "But if I move, I will."

"Oh. It is... all right." Rei stated, disappointed that their coupling would be over so soon.

The blue-eyed boy shook his head, feeling the urgent need to ejaculate recede. He sighed in relief and pressed forward until he was fully embedded into the girl. "Oh god..." He gasped out.

The first child raised an eyebrow curiously. "I have never been called that before." She stated, gingerly teasing the boy.

"Hmm?" Shinji looked into the girl's crimson eyes and then realized what she meant and smiled. "Rei-chan, you have the strangest sense of humor I've ever encountered."

The blue-haired beauty gave him a gentle smile as she ran her fingertips through his hair, glad that he was starting to relax. "Is that a bad thing?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way." The third child responded, repeating the phrase she had used only a few days prior, and he meant them.

Rei nodded and glanced down. She was hoping that this wasn't all there was to sex, otherwise it would be more than a little disappointing.

The young Ikari got the hint and gently withdrew from her body almost all the way before sinking back into her. "Ooooh... Rei-chan..." He gasped out. _'I feel like I'm being drawn in... is she supposed to be this tight? Is it supposed to feel this good?'_ He wondered.

The first child looked leaned up to press her body into her lovers, kissing the base of his neck as she felt his hand gingerly cup one of her breasts, the nipple being teased by his thumb. "Mmm... proceed, Shinji-kun."

Shinji nodded, moving his free hand down to draw the girl's knee up further as his hips began to thrust. Within moments he was clenching his eyes shut and willing himself to last just a bit little longer. _'Please... just a little longer... don't cum... don't cum...'_

The red-eyed angel frowned, sensing the boy's thoughts weren't on her. His attention was fixed elsewhere, on his struggle against himself. He was ruining the moment for her, which was frustrating. "Shinji-kun. I am down here." She stated for the second time that night. Her passion returned when his eyes were fixed on hers. She could see the strain in his eyes, like he was in pain. "It is all right. Do not struggle."

The third child started glancing away to the clock to figure out how long he was lasting, though he knew it couldn't have been more than a few minutes, but the girl's hand drew his gaze back towards her. His body was in agony from trying to hold back his orgasm, but he wanted to last long enough to make it good for her. And she wasn't making it any easier by not letting his mind wander away from the burning need to finish.

Rei was getting frustrated again, sensing his mind wandering. She pulled his head down so that he was kissing her and a moment later she felt his whole body stiffening.

"Mmm! Rei-chan..." He gasped out, feeling ashamed that he had reached his limit so quickly. He thrusted into her frantically for several moments as instinct took over. He relaxed finally, feeling lethargy spread throughout his body as he went limp on top of the girl. "I'm so sorry." He groaned out, sobbing softly.

"There is no need for apology, Shinji-kun." The first child whispered, holding the boy close. She admitted to herself that she had wanted at least another few minutes out of him, but she knew he was in pain from holding back and it wouldn't have done either of them any good for it to last any longer. She sighed and shifted a little, trying to get to where she could breathe easier. She liked his weight on top of her, but it did make things difficult.

Shinji's eyes snapped open suddenly and he looked down in a panic. "Oh god, I came inside you!" He gasped out in fear.

The crimson-eyed girl blinked. "Yes, I noticed."

"But you might get..." The third child paused, remembering that she had no uterus. "Never mind, I forgot that you can't get pregnant." A moment later, he remembered what the doctor said about keeping his fluids to himself. "My... blue blood cells won't harm you, will they?"

"No." Rei replied.

"You're sure?" The dark-haired boy asked, still a little worried.

The first child considered that thoughtfully for a few moments. She couldn't be 100 percent sure at this point, but it did not seem likely. "I do not believe so. But I cannot guarantee it at this point in time."

Shinji nodded, realizing she was right. "You'll tell me if you're feeling unwell, right?"

"Hai." The red-eyed angel replied. Normally she wouldn't unless it was intolerable, but she knew he would worry if she didn't.

The third child sighed in relief and rolled over onto his back, absentmindedly wiping the tears from his eyes, glad that the girl hadn't teased him about it. He knew she wouldn't have, but it was still a relief. "Next time, I'm sure I'll do better." He stated with more confidence than he felt.

"You may proceed when ready, then." Rei stated.

The blue-eyed boy stared at the girl in surprise. "You... want to do it again? Already?"

"When you are ready, yes." The blue-haired beauty affirmed, glancing down at the boy's penis.

Shinji was surprised when his erection returned so suddenly. A goofy smile came to his lips as he moved back up onto the girl, this time finding his way back inside her without help. He was relieved that his thrusts this time didn't produce the burning need to reach orgasm so quickly, so he was able to enjoy it.

"Mmm..." The first child sighed softly in pleasure, wrapping her arms around the boy's shoulders and pulling him closer.

The young Ikari was turned on by the soft sounds of pleasure the girl made as he reached down to grab the girl's bum and squeezed it gently as he started thrusting his hips into hers in a slow and deep rhythm. His lips found the sweet spot on her neck once more as he felt more alive than he had ever felt in his life.

Rei sighed softly and her hands moved down to clasp the boy's bum as well, feeling the muscles tense every time he thrusted. Her legs widened further and she ended up hooking her ankles over her lover's knees, finding that to be both comfortable and pleasurable. It was much better this time, because his mind was focused on her, and not on trying to prevent his orgasm. This was the passion she sought.

The blue-eyed boy groaned softly into his lover's ear as he started wiggling his hips a little to change up the way he slid into her, finding that she seemed to respond better when he entered her in some ways more than others. He felt his skin heating up as he stared into the girl's hooded crimson eyes. He blinked in surprise, however, when a draft hit his back. He looked up to see Asuka walking into the room.

The second child approached the futon then stopped suddenly. "Oh... I thought you two were done. I'm sorry. I'll uh... watch some TV or something."

"It is all right, Asuka-chan. You do not have to leave." Rei stated.

Shinji blinked in surprise. _'She doesn't!'_ He thought.

The German girl paused halfway to the door. She glanced back for a few moments. She knew Rei didn't mind, but Shinji seemed unsure. She knew she should have left, but she couldn't help but want to watch them, curiosity driving her on. She made her decision and walked around them to lay on the futon, watching the act but trying not to stare.

The third child had grown still as he watched the girl, feeling embarrassed at being caught in the act. _'Has she had enough time to watch her movie and take a bath already?'_ He wondered.

"Shinji-kun. I am down here." Rei admonished him playfully. She didn't feel upset this time, knowing he couldn't help but be a little distracted. But she wanted all his attention on her.

The blue-eyed boy looked down at his lover, surprised. He glanced at the red-haired girl again for a few moments then back at his girlfriend. "This is just a... little weird." He admitted.

"Why?" The first child inquired, confused.

Shinji was surprised she had to ask. "Well... this isn't usually something people want an audience for..."

"You want me to leave, Shinji-kun?" Asuka asked, feeling disappointed.

"Many people around the world have shared sleeping quarters with others, Shinji-kun. Do you think they do not have sex?" Rei asked.

The third child considered that. It was true that even in Japan, families often slept in the same room. That meant that either the parents would have to wait until they were alone to have sex, or that the others would just ignore them when they did do it. But Asuka was not ignoring them. He reconsidered though, because he had accepted it the night before. She wasn't teasing him... and if his attention was on Rei, would it really matter? They might not always have the privacy they wanted to be with one another... and the German girl was like family...

The red-eyed girl sighed softly when the boy started moving inside her again, feeling happy when she felt his lips on her neck and when he nibbled on her earlobe. "Mmmmm..." She murmured.

Shinji forgot all about the presence of the second child when he heard his lover's sighs in his ear. He reached down and pulled her legs up higher as his thrusts gained in speed and intensity. He whispered something unintelligible before he licked the shell of her ear.

The first child smiled up at the boy as her hips wiggled a little underneath him, which earned a groan from the depths of his throat that made her stomach flutter in the most delicious manner.

"Rei-chan... oh Rei-chan... I'm going to..." The young Ikari started gasping out.

Rei kissed him, pressing her tongue into his mouth as his body stiffened for the second time that night.

Shinji returned the kiss with passion, lost in the moment. His movements slowed down as he started coming down from the height of his ecstasy, grinding his hips into the girl's as a final shudder moved through his body. He collapsed bonelessly on top of her, gasping for the breath that he seemed to have been holding for an unknown amount of time.

"I'm sorry... but that was hot." Asuka commented in awe.

The third child blinked in surprise, looking over at the red-haired girl. He had completely forgotten she was there.

The blue-haired beauty giggled softly, relaxing. For some reason, she just felt like giggling and she was having a hard time suppressing the urge.

Shinji blushed shyly, remembering that his clothes were over in the corner. It was then that he realized that they were not under the covers to begin with. His blush spread throughout his entire body as he reached down to place the blanket over them before he rolled over onto his back. He sighed and looked over at his crimson-eyed girlfriend. "Sorry." He said.

Rei looked at him uncertainly. "For what?"

"I... finished too soon again. I was hoping you'd... you know... climax this time." He whispered, feeling even more embarrassed because the red-haired girl could hear him.

"Are you so sure I did not?" The blue-haired beauty inquired mysteriously.

The third child blinked several times, thinking that was a strange response. "I... don't know. Did you?"

"Good night, Shinji-kun." Rei responded, kissing him before cuddling into him with her head on his shoulder.

Shinji blinked and looked over at Asuka, baffled by the girl's behavior and looking at her to see if she had any clue what was going on.

"Good night, Shinji-kun." Asuka said as well with a smirk as she cuddled into his other side.

"Uh... good night." He replied to both girls, feeling lost. He stared up at the ceiling, confused more than ever.

"Shinji-kun." The second child said after being silent for a while.

The third child turned his attention to her, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

"You made her happy. Feel good about that." The German girl stated before shifting a little closer to him.

Shinji nodded, looking down and seeing that the red-eyed angel was already asleep. "Yeah... yeah I do feel good about that."

"You realize of course, that if you weren't so tired right now, I'd molest you." Asuka commented, before closing her eyes to fall asleep.

The young Ikari's eyes snapped open. "How am I supposed to sleep now!" He wondered aloud. He looked over at the blue-haired beauty on his right arm, blissfully asleep. He turned his head to look at the red-haired beauty on his left arm, blissfully asleep. He looked down, Little Shinji had woken back up. "Damn it, aren't you satisfied yet?" He grumbled. The tent in the blanket seemed to laugh at him. What made it even worse, his arms were wrapped around the girls, whom wouldn't move until the morning, so he couldn't even take matters into his own hand. Despite it all, however, he was happy, and his life just seemed to be in perfect harmony. He hoped it lasted.

* * *

The end.

Just kidding. Haha. Next chapter: Some more sexiness. Even more sexy than this chapter, in fact. Yay! Also, Rei and Kaoru talk, finally. And we find out what's going on with that wacky Ritsuko. So stay tuned. And visit my website, if not for the illustrated version of this chapter, then at least for Asuka's journal. And just because. Until next time... aloha.


	31. Silent Heaven

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: If anyone cares, the lyrics on Asuka's late morning journal entry for "today" is from the Silent Hill 3 game soundtrack, "I Want Love". The song couldn't be any more appropriate for her right now.

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 31: Silent Heaven

Shinji groaned softly as he floated towards wakefulness, spurred mostly by the pressure he felt in his groin area, which he assumed meant his bladder needed to be emptied. After he managed to pry a crusty eyelid open, however, he learned the truth of the matter. His breath caught in his throat as he saw two hands resting innocently and directly on his crotch. _'These girls are going to be the death of me.'_ The boy thought to himself as he stared at the pale hands.

The third child looked back and forth between the two pilots cradled against his body, marveling at how a 'wretch' like himself ended up in bed with two such beautiful girls. _'I lost my virginity last night.'_ He realized, a nervous but proud grin spreading across his face. _'And it was with the girl I love.'_ He admitted that very private thought to himself. He couldn't resist pressing his lips against the blue-haired girl's forehead in a tender kiss. He would have preferred kissing her lips but with her head resting on his shoulder facing downwards, that was rather impossible.

Rei stirred a little then turned her face upwards to gaze upon her beloved, a touch of a smile forming on her lips as she saw the adoration in his eyes.

"Good morning, Rei-chan." The blue-eyed boy whispered, trying to let Asuka rest peacefully.

"Yes, it is." The red-eyed angel responded. She looked down the boy's body for a few moments before turning her gaze back up with a questioning eyebrow.

At first, embarrassment colored the young Ikari's cheeks, but then he realized her silent question wasn't about why he was aroused, but rather it was about whether he wanted her to do anything about it or not. He glanced over at the second child for a few moments. It was one thing to continue lovemaking when they were interrupted, but to purposely do so with an onlooker, even a slumbering one, was moving a little too fast for his tastes. He also did not want to wake the girl up if he didn't have to, so that was another reason to not have sex there. It was then that an idea formed in his mind. "Rei-chan?"

"Yes, Shinji-kun?" Rei responded, fully expecting the boy to ask her to pleasure him somehow.

"Let's take a bath together." Shinji suggested, smiling at his cleverness.

Confusion crossed the blue-haired beauty's face as she glanced down at his obvious arousal for a few moments before turning to look at him again. "If... that is what you desire." She responded carefully.

_'She really doesn't understand the whole concept of privacy and modesty... what kind of life has she led? How did my father **raise** her?'_ The dark-haired boy wondered, carefully prying himself away from Asuka so as not to wake her up. He walked to the bathroom, his lover following him closely behind. He was relieved that Misato was indeed still at NERV, otherwise he would have been horribly embarrassed because he hadn't even thought about the fact that he was nude until he was sliding open the door to the bathroom.

The young Ikari smiled at his girlfriend as he looked over her body, admiring her soft curves. He chuckled softly to himself as he noticed the blush creep into the girl's pale cheeks as she noticed his intense interest in her body. "I've wanted to do this since you recovered... I suppose until now it wouldn't have been proper." He remarked.

"What?" The first child inquired, unsure of what was desired.

"I want to wash you... like I did while you were injured. But not exactly like I did then..." The blue-eyed boy admitted, trying to sound bold but he ended up just sounding nervous and abashed.

"If that is what you desire." Rei replied, attempting to hide the disappointment in her voice.

Shinji smiled as he filled a bucket with warm water to wet them both and then picked up a sponge, applying some scented body wash to it. "I think you'll enjoy it." He stated, attempting to put the girl at ease as he held one of her arms in his hand and used the sponge in his other hand to gently wash it. He took his time, taking just as much, if not more care than he had when she was initially injured. It was as if he were worshiping her silky pale skin.

The red-eyed angel stood patiently, watching her lover wash her. She felt bored as she wondered what could possibly interest the boy this much in washing her.

After washing both arms thoroughly, the third child glided the sponge over the base of the girl's neck and collarbones, before dragging it down the path of her ribs. Next was the flat expanse of her stomach and sides, and then he leaned in close to wrap his arm around her to wash her back. He avoided her breasts for the moment to kneel down to cleanse the girl's silky smooth legs and her delicate feet.

_'He is avoiding areas again. So far I do not see any difference in how he is washing me now as opposed to then.'_ The first child thought to herself. It was a good thing she was as patient as she was, or she would have grabbed the sponge from him and finished the job herself. She thought the amount of time he was taking to wash her, coupled with how he was doing a poor job of completely cleansing her made the whole matter terribly inefficient and borderline annoying.

The young Ikari didn't notice how bored the girl was from his tender washing, too intent on what he was doing to look up at her face. After washing the entirety of the girl's legs he stared at her sex for several moments before standing up. It was then that he noticed that she looked annoyed, though very few people in the world would notice. He was disappointed that she wasn't enjoying this as much as he was, but he hoped the rest of the bathing caught her interest. He scrubbed the sponge into his hand for a few moments to work up a lather and then gave the girl a wicked grin as he gently squeezed and fondled her left breast with his soapy hand, both cleaning it and feeling her up at the same time.

Rei looked down at the other pilot's hand for several moments and then up into his eyes. The pleasant feeling made this part of the strange ritual more appealing. She wondered if it was because he was using his hand now instead of the sponge. _'If he wants to do this again, I think I will suggest he use his hands the entire time.'_ She mused.

Shinji stared down at the girl's breasts as his sudsy thumb circled her nipple, feeling satisfied when he felt her unconsciously arching her back to stick her chest out more. He took a moment to get his other hand soapy and dropped the sponge so he could use both hands on her breasts. "A little more interesting now?" He inquired in a tone that suggested he already knew the answer.

"Yes, this is... acceptable." The blue-haired beauty admitted.

"Good..." He lowered his right hand to her crotch and brushed his hand gently over her soft petals. He frowned, however, when she pulled away slightly. "Stand still." The third child commanded gently.

The red-eyed girl froze where she was as a blush crept up her entire body. The tone he had used was... very thrilling. She cursed herself inwardly when her hips moved away from the boy's hand again on instinct.

"Did I hurt you?" The blue-eyed boy asked, concerned.

"No." Rei replied with a slight frown.

The young Ikari frowned as well and pressed her back against the cold tile wall and pressed his hand into her groin again, her hips unable to move away now. A smug grin formed on his lips as he saw the girl's eyes close and her mouth open as she enjoyed the touch. "Turn around and put your hands on the wall." He commanded. When he saw her raise an eyebrow questioningly, he explained. "There's one last place I haven't cleaned yet." He bent down to pick up the sponge and then a wide smile formed as he saw her turn to assume the position he requested without complaint.

He scrubbed his hands furiously for several moments to lather them up and then dropped the sponge again, which the girl noticed. She looked a little confused, but Shinji knew she'd figure it out as his hands made contact with her firm buttocks. He gently kneaded and caressed her there for a little while as he admired her backside, then he reached down to lather his fingers up again. "Don't move." He ordered gently as his fingers slid into the crack of the girl's bum to wash up and down for a few moments.

The red-eyed angel fought the urge to pull her hips away, feeling aroused and embarrassed at the same time but she was unsure of why. Her eyes widened in surprise, however, when the boy's soapy finger slowly made its way into her bum. _'I... cannot complain that he did not wash me thoroughly this time.'_ She thought as her eyes widened more when she felt his finger moving in and out of her.

The third child stared down in fascination, marveling at how hot and tight the girl felt there. _'I didn't actually expect her to let me do this...'_ He thought to himself before a wicked thought formed in his head. He knelt down to pick the sponge up with his left hand as the fingers of his right hand continued working in and out of the girl's bum. He rubbed the sponge against his erection before dropping it once more. He pulled his fingers out and pressed lightly on the hollow of the girl's back so that it was arched, opening herself even more to him. "Stay still..." He commanded as he pressed himself against her.

"Shinji-kun?" Rei asked in a nervous and vulnerable tone, looking back with wide eyes.

The blue-eyed boy paused for a few moments, waiting to see if she was going to tell him to stop, but when she didn't, he held her hips firmly and eased himself forward. A frown formed when he seemed unable to get himself into her though. "Relax." He requested, feeling incredibly turned on.

The first child let out a long sigh. "Shinji-kun... that is not the correct place..." She stated, thinking he didn't realize where he was trying to work his way inside.

"I know. But it still works." He responded. _'I think...'_ The dark-haired pilot added mentally.

"It hurts." Rei added a moment later.

The young Ikari paused again, expecting her to tell him to stop. A few moments later, he figured she wasn't going to so he started pressing forward again, his eyes suddenly crossing themselves when the head of his manhood made it inside her. He let out a low groan before moving his hips forward, slowly working himself inside until he was pressed against the cheeks of her bum. "Oh... Rei-chan..." He moaned.

The girl's red eyes crinkled in pain and she wondered why he was doing it to her this way. She lowered her head submissively; aroused despite the pain because of the obvious pleasure the act was giving her beloved.

Shinji wrapped his arms around the girl as he pressed his chest against her back, rubbing one of her breasts with one hand and her sex with the other. He remained still inside her for as long as he could handle so she could adjust to his intrusion, but soon enough his hips started moving of their own accord. "Mmm... Rei-chan..."

The first child sighed, trying to stay relaxed. She was even trying to enjoy it because of his touch in other places, but it wasn't working. It just felt... wrong. _'Perhaps he will finish quickly and then it will be over.'_ She thought.

The blue-eyed boy, however, was moving at an agonizingly slow pace so he didn't hurt his lover too much, though he knew he was going to end up lasting a long time because of that fact. _'I think she's starting to enjoy it.'_ He thought to himself smugly.

He was proven wrong a few moments later, however. "Shinji-kun... please stop." Rei requested as politely as she could manage.

The third child paused where he was, firmly pressed into the girl's firm bum. "Am I going too fast?" He asked, wondering how he could possibly go any slower.

"No, stop. Completely stop. Please, it hurts." The blue-haired beauty begged, tears of pain falling from her eyes.

Shinji's eyes widened in shock and he pulled out of her a little too fast and then turned her around so he could embrace her. "I'm so sorry! I thought you were going to start to like it after a minute or two…"

"Please do not ask me to do that again, Shinji-kun." The red-eyed girl pleaded, reaching back to rub her sore bottom.

The young Ikari tried his best to hide his frustration. _'She won't take me into her mouth, she won't let me do her in the butt… so the only thing I can do is get hand jobs and fuck? Not that that isn't enough but… she sure doesn't seem to be willing to experiment a little. She's not going to like anything out of the ordinary I try.'_ He griped inwardly as he reached down to pick up another bucket to wash them both off so they could soak in the tub. What made it worse, he was told to stop just when it was starting to get good, and his groin was complaining to him about it now. As he was mentally debating on whether it would be callous of him to ask her to try something else, they were both shocked to hear a sudden hysterical screaming. The boy blinked a few times before realizing what it was. "Asuka!" He exclaimed. They both rushed into Shinji's bedroom to see the second child in the midst of a panic attack.

"Asuka! Asuka, what's wrong?" Shinji asked, trying to catch hold of the flailing girl and look into her wild eyes.

The red-haired girl broke into wracking sobs and clutched the boy close, spilling her tears unabashedly all over his bare chest. "I woke… and you… I felt… nothing… and I… mein Gott…" She stammered out, gasping for breath as she shuddered in terror.

"Huh?" The blue-eyed boy asked, confused.

"She awoke and we were not here, Shinji-kun. And she panicked." Rei explained calmly.

The young Ikari's face fell. He hadn't even considered what might happen if the German girl awoke while they weren't there. He didn't realize it was such a problem. "I'm sorry. We were bathing. I didn't want to wake you because you were sleeping so peacefully…"

"Because… because… you… were… here…" Asuka choked out.

As Shinji stroked the girl's long red hair and held her close, he turned his head to look at the blue-haired beauty, guilt evident in his eyes. He hadn't realized how dependant the girl was now on someone being with her while she slept. He had guessed that it was because it was comforting to sleep with someone else, but he hadn't known that it was more than a desire, but a need.

The first child stood there feeling helpless, unsure of what to do. She felt she was no good with such emotional matters, but she wondered if Shinji was enough to calm the girl. Awkwardly, she placed a hand on the blue-eyed girl's shoulder and squeezed gently.

The German girl blinked suddenly and looked up at the red-eyed angel, and then suddenly reached out and grabbed her arm and pulled her down into the embrace as well. She sobbed for a few more minutes before calming down. _'I'm so pathetic.'_ She thought to herself, feeling content as she enjoyed the closeness of the other two pilots.

Rei blinked in surprise when she was pulled into the hug, uncertainly trying to return the embrace. After a few moments she realized that she enjoyed the closeness as well and relaxed into it.

A teasing smile formed on the second child's lips. "Shinji-kun… it must be really exciting to have two beautiful girls holding you close like this, huh?"

The young Ikari pulled his head back to look into the girl's royal blue eyes, confused. "I… suppose. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I figured that was the case, judging from the fact that you're practically popping my cherry right now." Asuka explained with a naughty grin plastered on her face.

Shinji blinked, for a moment not comprehending what she meant, but then the words sank in and he looked down and realized he was still rather excited in a certain area and that it was pressed against another certain area because of the embrace. This was one of the disadvantages, if one could call it that, of being of about the same height as the girl you were holding. "Shit! I'm sorry… Rei-chan and I were right in the middle of ah…" He trailed off, blushing as he pulled away.

The German girl frowned, both because of the loss of the closeness as well as from the guilt of interrupting the couple's fun, once again. "Oh… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you guys again."

"It is no problem, Asuka-chan. We were quite finished." Rei stated confidently, even a little coldly.

The blue-eyed boy blinked in surprise and looked at his lover. "We… we were?"

"Yes. We were." The first child responded. Normally she wouldn't like to repeat herself, but this time, she wanted to make sure that the boy knew to never try what he did again. She was still sore from it. She also thought it was rather dirty and didn't understand why the boy would want to place his intimate anatomy in such a place, especially when a much better option was so close by. She felt reasonably sure that he could have reached the proper place from how they were positioned, so it made no sense to her why he placed it where he did.

"Oh… ah… oh." The third child stared down at the floor as his passion deflated.

Asuka frowned, noticing the exchange between the two. "Shinji-kun… did you try something she wasn't interested in?" She correctly guessed the situation.

"Well she didn't tell me no!" He protested, feeling defensive now. From all the times the two told him to not ask permission before he tried something and now to admonish him for doing just that, it was upsetting.

Rei nodded when the other girl looked at her for confirmation. "I… did not think it fair to him that I not at least try. But it was… unpleasant. I simply do not wish for him to do that again."

Understanding the situation now, a teasing grin quirked the corners of her mouth up. "Ah, I get it. He plugged you in your arsch, didn't he?"

A blush crept into the red-eyed girl's cheeks. "… Yes."

"I hadn't originally planned it." The young Ikari stated defensively. "I was going to just… hold her against the wall and do it the normal way. But I was washing her there and… the idea formed in my head. I'm sorry, Rei-chan."

"No need for apology. You did exactly what I asked you to do. I am simply making it clear that I do not wish to try that again." The first child explained.

Shinji nodded, feeling relieved that she wasn't angry with him anymore. He realized that he was rushing into trying new things too quickly, mainly because of how submissive the girl was with him. It seemed to be rather… accommodating, but he was beginning to realize that just because she was being passive with him like that, it didn't mean that she wasn't really the one in control. Somehow, that made the situation a little easier to handle. "I have an idea… our bath was cut short, so why don't you join us, Asuka-chan?"

Rei looked over at the boy immediately, though her face betrayed nothing of how she felt about the invitation.

Asuka looked between the other two pilots for a few moments uncertainly. She knew the first child wouldn't say anything in protest, but she wanted some indication that her presence wouldn't be disrupting. "Ah… I don't want to intrude…"

The third child turned his head to look at the blue-haired beauty and quirked an eyebrow up inquisitively. "You didn't seem to have a problem with it the other day."

"That is true." The red-eyed girl replied honestly.

The other two waited for a few moments to see if she was going to add anything to the statement then the German girl nodded. "Let's go then." She stated confidently. She stood up and peeled her nightshirt off and strode towards the bathroom as if she were off to conquer the world.

The dark-haired boy blinked in surprise. He had half-expected one of them to say no… and the thought of bathing with two beautiful girls was… he paused in that thought and looked down. _'Yes, that's exactly what I thought would happen.'_ He sighed as images of what might happen during the bathing flashed through his mind and followed the confident second child, making a point to hold Rei's hand as he walked, though she was lagging behind him which made it a little more difficult.

By the time Shinji and Rei reached the bathroom, the second child had already nearly finished scrubbing herself clean. _'Damn… she's fast when she wants to be.'_ The third child thought to himself. He realized he hadn't really done much in the way of cleaning himself since he was so intent on what he was doing with the blue-eyed beauty so he busied himself with that and tried not to ogle the two naked girls overly much. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the first child washing herself, especially in certain areas that made him feel guilty once more.

"I thought you said you had washed already?" Asuka inquired as she rinsed herself off and looked over her shoulder at the other two.

The blue-eyed boy blushed and glanced at the quiet girl next to him before replying. "Well, I was washing her… and then that led to other stuff…"

Rei turned to fix her crimson eyes on the boy for several moments, her face expressionless, but she made no comment. Instead, she poured a bucket of warm water over herself to rinse off and then started washing her hair.

Shinji turned his gaze to the German girl for a few moments with a helpless expression, but she simply shrugged at him and started washing her long auburn hair. He sighed and finished up his own cleansing and then stepped into the tub. He wasn't sure whether he should sit in the middle or on one of the ends, but he figured he'd better play it safe and sit at one end for now, as he could always slide over if need be.

A few moments later, the blue-haired girl used the spray hose to rinse her hair out and then stepped into the tub on the opposite end from the third child, facing him but making no effort to get closer to him. She wasn't sure why she was being so standoffish with him, since he had behaved just as she had desired, except that her mind was already on other matters and she didn't want to be bothered with his attempts at further affections or to deal with his guilt over his strange desires. She still hadn't made her decision on whether to cooperate with the commander yet on his plans, but she knew she had to make a decision soon. She looked up at the red-haired pilot for a few moments, wishing for a moment that they were alone so she could broach the subject with her, because she couldn't talk about this with Shinji. He was the last person that she could discuss it with.

Asuka approached the tub nervously, noticing that the two lovers were so far apart. "Ah… I can forego the soak, if you want to be alone…"

"Sit." Rei commanded, pointing at the empty space in the middle of the tub.

The second child glanced between the two pilots that were facing each other in the tub for a few moments, wondering which she should face when she sat down. The one she wasn't facing she'd practically be sitting on because of their positioning, and that made her decision for her. _'I'm taller than Rei, so she couldn't handle me being like that… she'd be eclipsed. Maybe if I had more room to stretch out and could sink lower… but that would be uncomfortable for Shinji. He, on the other hand, is about the same height as me… and has a body that would accommodate me perfectly…'_ She grinned mischievously as she sat down and leaned back against the boy, unsurprised when she felt a twitching against her bum. She smiled at Rei and ran her fingers over the girl's silky leg. "Is this ok?" She inquired of both of them, though she was primarily checking with the first child.

"Of course." The red-eyed angel responded flatly.

"Well… it's ah… a little more cramped… ah… than I thought it would be… um… maybe I should get out…" Shinji suggested nervously.

"I think it's just perfect." The blue-eyed girl responded, readjusting slightly and giggling when she heard a loud groan come from the boy behind her. She picked up his arms, which had been resting on the edges of the tub and put them around her waist, watching the girl in front of her for any sign that she felt jealous, but instead she saw a hint of amusement twinkling in the girl's eyes. '_She really is ok with this. Good, I was still a little worried.'_ She mused.

The third child cleared his throat nervously, trying not to think about the soft flesh his manhood was wedged in between, or the feel of the silky skin against his arms, or how good the girl smelled, or how he could see down the girl's body as well as his girlfriend's body at the same time. "Ah… so what are your plans for today, Rei-chan?" He asked, his voice a little higher in pitch than normal.

"I will visit Nagisa. There are things I wish to discuss with him." Rei responded.

"Oh… do you want some company? I wouldn't mind seeing him again." The blue-eyed boy offered.

"No. I would prefer to speak with him in private. Afterwards, I will be with the commander, so I will not be back tonight. Possibly not tomorrow night either." The first child replied. She paused for a few moments and looked at the red-haired beauty before her. "I wish to speak with you in private before I leave, however."

Asuka became a little nervous, thinking she had done something she shouldn't have. "Willst du es auf Deutsch sagen? (Do you want to say it in German?)" She asked uncertainly.

The first child shook her head once. "Nein. It is… not something I want to risk saying incorrectly. But it is not something you should worry yourself over. I merely wish for some advice."

The German girl felt relieved as she nodded. "Of course! If Wonder Girl needs Asuka the Great, then she is in good hands." She grinned at the boast.

"Indeed." The red-eyed angel responded.

Shinji felt relieved that the girls weren't going to start talking in a language he didn't understand, but he was curious what sort of advice his lover sought from the second child. _'Probably some girly stuff… that I would rather not know about.'_ He reasoned.

The red-haired beauty changed the subject suddenly when she felt another twitch against her bum. "So, Rei-chan… this poor boy is aching for some attention. So do you want to switch places with me or…" She trailed off before she suggested something she felt she shouldn't.

Rei looked confused for a few moments before realizing what the girl was asking. "No, I am quite finished for the day." She ignored the disappointed look she saw on her lover's face. _'He had his chance to put it in a proper place earlier. I am not in the mood for further attempts.'_ She thought to herself.

"Poor Shinji-kun…" Asuka teased, shifting slightly just to hear the delicious groan escape the boy's throat. "Wonder Girl doesn't want to play anymore." She paused for a few moments then cocked her head curiously to the side. "Do you mind if I… take care of him?" She asked before she could stop herself. She wanted to bite her tongue but it was too late for that.

"You do not require my permission, Asuka-chan. However, please feel free." The first child replied, becoming a little more interested in the other two suddenly.

'_Is my little Rei-chan a voyeur? Well, it's not like I didn't enjoy watching **them**… perhaps she is simply curious to see how someone else goes about the task.'_ The German girl wondered.

"Wait… what?" Shinji asked, his voice catching in his throat. '_She didn't even ask for **my** permission!'_ He thought apprehensively.

"Don't worry, Shinji-kun… I'll be gentle with you." Asuka promised mischievously as she stood up for a moment to turn around and straddle the boy's lap. "It won't hurt a bit… well, it might hurt me a little, but I can take it." She said with a giggle.

"You… I… we… wait!" The third child was completely flustered by the girl's aggressive boldness. He choked on his words when he felt the girl wrap her slender fingers around his erection and she seemed to be trying to situate it in such a way… "Wait! Stop!"

"It's ok, Shinji-kun. Rei-chan just said it was ok with her." The second child assured him, finding the right spot and starting to settle her weight on him.

"That's not… oh god… stop! We can't do this!" The blue-eyed boy pleaded weakly, though his body was assuring him he could, rather vehemently.

The German girl blinked several times rapidly. "You… don't want me?" She asked in a vulnerable tone.

Shinji stared up at the girl that was a short maneuver away from taking her own virginity on him. He didn't know what to say at first. He wanted her physically, to be sure, but he didn't feel right about it, despite his girlfriend's approval. Even though the first child was unwilling to do certain things that he wanted to try, he still loved her and wanted only her. But he recognized the vulnerability in the girl's voice and he didn't want her to feel rejected. He had to choose the lesser of two evils, either tell her he didn't want her and hurt her feelings, or go against his own feelings on the matter to make her happy. It was then that a third option presented itself, due to two very real and valid worries. "What about protection? I haven't had to worry about Rei-chan, because she can't get pregnant… but you…" He knew she had a normal cycle, because he suffered its effects along with her, but in a different way. He even kept a private calendar with the estimated dates circled so he knew when to be extra nice to her to avoid her wrath.

Asuka considered that. Before that moment, she hadn't even thought about it. But her hormones were telling her that she didn't give a shit. "We'll get some condoms for next time. I don't mind taking a risk. I think I'm safe today anyway, or as safe as I can figure…" Truthfully, she had no idea if she was at a relatively safe place in her cycle or not, but she knew the odds were low for one time. Or so she figured. Her passion had a hand in that logic, of course.

'_Oh god… that didn't work. But… I could make her sick if I do this! I don't think I have enough self-control to pull out… especially if she stays on top…'_ He thought in a panic. "Ah… but… what if… I mean… we can't be sure. And do you really want to lose your virginity in a bathtub?" He was grasping at straws now. The third child was getting desperate.

"Then let's move to your room. I don't care either way. I want to fuck you, Shinji-kun." The German girl breathed out, growing frustrated by the boy's attitude. _'I don't care how that sounds… please don't be like Kaji and reject me…'_

The third child couldn't think of any other excuse other than the truth. "But… there's another reason. You could get…"

"Shinji-kun. Do you want to be one with Asuka-chan or not?" Rei interrupted him before he could let the classified information on his S2 organ slip out. She didn't know whether the second child would get sick from the blue cells or not, but the only way to be sure of that was to test it out.

"I just… don't feel right about this. I'm sorry." Shinji protested weakly. He didn't feel his lust was a good enough reason to deflower the red-haired beauty, and he certainly didn't feel worthy enough to be the one to do it. He didn't feel worthy of Rei either, but he was too weak to be without her.

Tears sprang into Asuka's eyes as she looked down at the boy. For a few moments she considered taking him anyway, but that would have been no better than what she had done to him not that long ago… "You son of a bastard." She spit out, hurt and angry over her rejection. She stood up and grabbed a towel and left the bathroom as hot tears spilled from her eyes. A moment later, the door to her room slammed shut.

The first child shook her head sadly. "Ikari, you are a fool." She stood up as well and grabbed a towel as she stepped out. "I will see you in a day or two. I suggest you make it up to Asuka-chan before I return. It will be… displeasing if I have to see her cry again."

The third child stared at the empty doorway after both girls had left, speechless. He sighed and dropped his face into his hands. "I can't get anything right." He spat out bitterly. He remained in the tub to wallow in his self-pity for a while, as well as to make sure that the blue-eyed beauty had a chance to calm down so that Rei could talk to her about whatever girly advice she needed. It also gave his anatomy time to realize it had been betrayed by the boy so it could resume its normal resting state.

After the young Ayanami got dressed in the last clean uniform she had brought with her, as she was saving the casual clothes that she had acquired the other day for another time, she approached the second child's door and slid it open without asking. It didn't even occur to her to knock or ask for permission, because they were foreign concepts to her. She closed the door and walked over to where the red-haired girl was lying on the floor facedown as she sobbed. The first child knelt down and stroked the girl's back in a clumsy attempt at comforting her. "He really is an idiot sometimes." She commented in an awkward attempt at humor to lighten the other girl's mood.

"Jawohl. Why do I put up with him, Wonder Girl? Why am I so stupid about these things?" Asuka inquired, turning over to look up through tear-stained eyes at the blue-haired beauty.

"It is because you lo-" The first child started to respond before she was interrupted.

"Don't answer that! Um… what was it you wanted to ask me about?" The second child asked while self-consciously wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I have a… dilemma. I cannot go into specifics, but I have to make a rather… horrible choice. To safeguard our future, I may have to do something terrible to others. However, it is ultimately for the best, in regards to Shinji-kun, myself… and you as well. But… I am unsure. It is a terrible choice to make…" Rei stated as carefully as she could, not wanting to divulge classified information.

Asuka considered what the girl said carefully. _'She's probably talking about the Evas. When the angels are gone… we'll probably be used to keep the peace, or something, which means we may have to kill some people. That must be it…'_ She reasoned. Then aloud, "Are you familiar with Frederich Nietzsche?" She asked, to which she received a blank stare. Whether it was because the girl didn't know who it was, or that she didn't see the relevance, the red-haired girl couldn't guess. "Ah… well he once said 'That which is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil.' Do you understand?"

The crimson-eyed angel considered those words thoughtfully before nodding. "Thank you, Asuka-chan. That is very helpful. I must leave now… take care of Shinji-kun for me." She leaned towards the girl for a moment before pausing.

The German girl nodded. "Leave it to me, Rei-chan." She kissed the first child as she wondered what horrible plans the commander had for the Evas after the last angel was defeated.

"Sayonara, Asuka-chan." She stated with a strangely grim certainty, as if she never expected to see the girl again.

The second child's mouth dropped open in shock as she watched the girl leave and a few moments later she heard the girl using a more casual goodbye with her boyfriend. Apprehension wormed its way through her guts as she wondered what she was missing. She sighed and got dressed before flipping open her computer to listen to music and type in her journal. She felt the need to get her thoughts out before she faced the blue-eyed blunder-head again.

A little while later Asuka was simply lying on the floor listening to music but she turned it off when she heard a soft knocking on her door. "Yes?" She called out, knowing it was the third child.

The door slid open and Shinji stepped into the room and he gave the girl a nervous smile. "Hi… uh… can we talk?" He inquired with trepidation in his voice.

"What's on your mind, Shinji-kun?" The German girl inquired, propping her head up on her hand with a crooked elbow.

"Well, I ah… just wanted to know…" The blue-eyed boy coughed nervously and cleared his throat before continuing. "Well, what I mean is… why do you want to… ah… you know…" He trailed off but only received a quirked up eyebrow in reply. "Ah… have sex. With me, I mean."

The red-haired girl blinked a few times rapidly, stunned. When she found her voice, she inquired, "Why do you think I want to have sex with you?"

The young Ikari sighed and tried to lean back against the wall casually but it simply looked awkward instead. "Well… ah… I'm not sure. I'm guessing part of the reason is that Kaji-san hasn't been around lately. And there aren't really any other eligible guys our age around anymore. And you've never shown any interest in any of the NERV personnel. So… process of elimination leaves me."

Asuka sat up to regard the boy curiously. If she was offended by his reasoning, she did a very good job of hiding it. "That's the only reason you can think of? Because there's no one else? So I'm just so desperate I go after the one guy around?"

The dark-haired boy paled when he realized how his words had sounded. "Ah… no. I don't think it's desperation. I just think that… I don't know. I really don't understand it. I don't even deserve Rei-chan… but she's never been able to open up to anyone but us and my father. But you… you're very… ah… extroverted? You've always been comfortable in social situations, you know? You always had guys chasing after you. You had your pick, is what I mean. So… why me?"

The second child tilted her head slightly to the side as she looked at the boy standing before her. "You really don't see your good points, do you?"

Shinji shrugged. "I guess I'm polite. And uh… I can cook. And…" He trailed off, contemplating the issue. "I… can't think of anything else. But I have lots of bad qualities too! I'm a coward. I'm sneaky. I'm dishonest. I'm an idiot. I'm…"

The blue-eyed beauty interrupted him with an angry shout. "Shut up! You're kind, Shinji-kun. You're sweet and attentive. You're loyal and loving. You're a lot braver than you give yourself credit for; you just… pick your fights carefully. A coward wouldn't rush headlong into a likely fatal battle with an angel to save the girls he cares about from getting hurt. I'll have you know you're also very attractive. Don't look at me like that. You are. And if you argue with me on this, you're calling me a liar. Yes, you can be an idiot at times, but you're a boy. You can't help that."

The third child blushed at the praise, but still tried to argue with her. "But I…"

"Shut up. I don't want you because there's no one else. Even if everyone was still in the city, I'd still want you. I've wanted you for a long time, I just… couldn't tell you. It was a matter of pride; I wanted you to come to me." Asuka blushed at that admission and glanced away. "While we're both being so damn honest with one another, we both know Kaji never wanted me. Yes, he is a very attractive man and he's charming. But Rei-chan would devour a whole pig and ask for seconds before that man committed to me. I doubt he will ever commit to Misato even, and he's over both ears in love with her. I did not _settle_ for you. I _chose_ you. The same way you chose Rei-chan, and she chose you. It was just my shitty luck to always pick the guy who is already enamored by another woman."

The young Ikari was stunned. It made no sense to him that anyone would choose him when they had other, and in his eyes superior, choices. But he knew the girl was speaking from her heart and that scared him a little. He didn't know how to handle it. What he did know was that his earlier rejection of her, based in part on his relationship with the quiet blue-haired angel and also on his own insecurities, was unfairly callous. "I… honestly didn't know you felt that strongly about me. I don't really know… how to handle it."

"That's because you're an idiot boy. Don't take it too hard, Shinji-kun." The second child informed him with a teasing grin.

Shinji blushed and fell silent for a few minutes. He knew he had to make it up to the girl somehow, but there were things he could not, or should not do. Pretending he didn't want her was pointless and needlessly cruel, so that was out. So, a compromise seemed the logical choice. Or so he hoped. "Ah… I was thinking…"

The red-haired girl quirked an eyebrow up inquisitively. "Yes?"

"Well… ah…" The third child scratched the back of his head and blushed. "Um… I thought of something we could do… if you were still in the mood."

Though her pulse quickened and her body warmed at the thought, she remained as calm as she could. "In the mood?" Asuka asked casually, though she knew what he meant. She felt she was aggressive enough before, it was time to play it cool and let him make the choice.

"Well… ah… there's something we can do that's safe… and ah… I don't think Rei-chan would let me do it with her… and I figured… you wouldn't mind… and ah… you know… I think you'd like it." The dark-haired boy stammered out.

'_Fuck staying cool!'_ The German girl thought excitedly. "Anything for you, Shinji-kun." She gushed, while cursing herself for sounding so eager. But then she had second thoughts. "Ah… but that… um… that's something I'd have to prepare for. I'm not saying no… but I want to be ready… it's not something I can just rush into. I don't want to get hurt…"

Confusion passed over the blue-eyed boy's features for a few moments before he realized what she was talking about. "Oh ah… no. That's not what I meant. It's something we kind of already did… but I'm willing this time…"

The blue-eyed beauty swallowed nervously, now understanding what he wanted to do. "Are… you sure? You don't have to."

"I know. But… you're special to me. I want to make you happy. Come to my room, please? I want us both to be comfortable." The third child smiled and held his hand out invitingly.

Asuka stood up and took the boy's hand, feeling a thrill course through her body as she was led into his bedroom and onto the bed. Without another word, she stripped her clothes off, feeling warmth in her stomach as she saw the fascination in the boy's dark blue eyes as he stared at her body. _'Kaji never looked at me like that… fuck Kaji, I'm not thinking about him any more after this… that's for damn sure.'_

Shinji hovered over the girl and pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. He knew he should feel guilty about this, but he meant what he said. He wanted to make her happy, and this was something he could compromise with himself about. He cupped the girl's breast tenderly in his hand and massaged it, marveling at how similar yet different it felt from Rei's. She also seemed to respond more when he teased her nipples with his thumbs. He grinned and lowered his head to suckle on her other nipple as his hand trailed lower across the girl's taut stomach and then his fingers brushed through the girl's silky red curls. That was another difference he noticed, one that he was eager to investigate.

"Oh… Shinji-kun… that's nice…" The second child murmured, arching her back to press her breast more firmly against the boy's mouth as her legs spread apart unashamedly.

"Mmmhmm…" The blue-eyed boy murmured in agreement as his lips found the other nipple to give it equal attention as his fingers brushed over the girl's moist petals and then his finger found its way inside her. _'She even feels warmer in there… it's like fire almost…'_ He marveled. Though he loved Rei deeply, he was enjoying how responsive Asuka was. It made him feel a little more confident, knowing that he was doing something right and not simply guessing at it. It wasn't a matter of what was better, but rather that he was enjoying the differences between the girls. He wondered for a moment if he was a bad person for what he was doing, but his thoughts were cut short as the girl applied gentle pressure to the top of his head.

"I'm ready…" The German girl whispered. She had been ready all morning, in fact. She wanted the boy to enjoy the experience too, but she wasn't known for her patience.

Shinji moved his kisses down the girl's body and stared at her sex for several long moments before he pressed his lips to her there and inhaled her heady scent. A moment later, he started lapping at the girl's petals, turned on both by her taste and scent, as well as the soft cries and gasps he heard as he went about his task.

"Gott im Himmel… ja… oh ja… Shinji… don't stop… mmmmm Gott…" Asuka murmured, unconsciously gripping the boy's hair painfully tight as she was assaulted by pleasurable sensations she had never before experienced.

The third child stuck his tongue out further and wiggled it inside her, tasting her as deeply as he could. A few moments later he was suckling on her lower lips and licking her all over, turned on by the vocalizations of the girl's passion.

"Shinji… Shinji… Shinji… oh… Shinji… oh something's wrong… something's happening… mein Gott… don't…. SHINJI!" She cried suddenly, her entire body quivering as her legs lifted up and quaked, her hands pressing the boy's head further into the apex of her legs as she shuddered. A few tense seconds later, her head dropped like a rock onto the pillows behind her and she gasped for breath. "Holy pigshit… so that's what all the fuss is about…"

The blue-eyed boy looked up in surprise. "You're… done already?" He couldn't believe it, because he couldn't have been licking her for more than a minute or two. He could have sworn hearing that girls took longer than that…

The red-haired girl blinked several times as she stared up at the ceiling then she looked down at the boy who had just brought her so much pleasure. "Ja… for the moment. Come here and kiss me."

'_For… the moment?'_ Shinji repeated those words in his mind as he moved up the girl's body to kiss her. A moment afterwards he wondered if he should have wiped his lips clean first but by the way the German girl's tongue was in his mouth, he figured it didn't matter. "I'm… happy you liked it. I'm a little surprised you finished so soon though. I can't be _that_ good…"

"Good enough for me." Asuka assured him with a blissful smile. "Mmm… my first orgasm. I should mark this day on the calendar, ja?"

The third child blinked several times rapidly. "Huh? Your first? You've never had one before?"

"Idiot. I'm a virgin, remember? Or… only kind of now, I guess." The blue-eyed girl teased him gently before kissing his neck.

"I know but… you've never given yourself one?" Shinji inquired nervously. When he received a blank stare, he tried to elaborate. "Ah… you know… masturbation?"

The German girl frowned in distaste. "I don't do that. The very idea is a little… gross. I suppose part of it is due to how I was raised… the priests were always talking about how masturbation was a vile sin. It's not really that I think that… but part of it stuck, I guess. It just doesn't seem worth it."

The young Ikari shook his head in wonder. "I don't think I would have made it past age 14 without masturbation. Especially when you moved in…"

The second child grinned at the boy's admission. "Shinji-kun… are you telling me that you thought about me while you wanked yourself?"

"I was sore for a week after that time you fell asleep next to me after you moved in… and I saw down your shirt. I practically rubbed the skin off." Shinji admitted with a deep blush.

The girl's royal blue eyes widened in surprise. "Fuck me. Fuck me now." She whispered in excitement.

The third child swallowed nervously as his erection started celebrating. "Asuka-chan… I can't. I don't have protection…"

"I don't care. I want you inside me right now. Pull out if you're worried, I don't give a shit. Fuck me, god damn it." Asuka ordered.

The blue-eyed boy started panicking. "I don't think I have enough self-control to do that… and I don't know if I'm ready for…" He trailed off, frightened by the intensity in the girl's eyes. _'I should have kept my damn mouth shut… now look what I've gotten myself into!'_ He admonished himself. "I'll… lick you again. I'm happy to do that."

The German girl sighed in disappointment. She wanted to get ravaged, not teased. But she would take what she could get. "Fine. Then you're going out later to pick up some damn condoms."

'_Shit… I didn't expect this to be more than a one time thing… I just keep getting deeper and deeper into this mess…'_ He thought pitifully as he moved down to feast on the girl's essence once more. He had to admit though, that he was having a good time pleasuring her. He just wished it didn't make him feel so guilty.

"Oh god… we can't do this when Misato is home… I can't keep quiet… mmm ja… Shinji… just like that… mmmm Gott im Himmel…" The red-haired beauty crooned out.

'_And now for my special attack… the Super Golden Tongue Tornado Supreme!'_ The young Ikari thought in a truly geeky moment.

"Ach… don't flail it about like that, Dummchen… do it like you did before…" Asuka griped out.

'_So much for that special attack… it was a dud!'_ Shinji admonished himself playfully as he clutched at the girl's hips to resume his licking and suckling.

"Oh ja… don't stop… I swear I'll kill you if you stop…" The German girl vowed as she rubbed her own breasts as her hips wiggled around on their own. Since the urgent need to reach her peak was passed earlier, she could relax and enjoy this more. She found it peaceful in a strange way, as well as relaxing. But she knew she would have preferred it had the boy done as she asked and taken her in a manly fashion. She wondered if she needed to be more aggressive with him, or less.

The third child was quickly developing a problem. _'Damn… my tongue is getting tired! If only I had more stamina… too bad I don't have any energy drinks…'_ He tried to change up what he was doing by using his fingers more, but that only seemed to help a little. "Ah… are you getting close, Asuka-chan?" He inquired finally, delving into her hot depths with his fingers as he paused to give his mouth a rest.

"Not really. Another five or ten minutes, probably." The blue-eyed beauty responded honestly. _'Less if you'd fuck me like I asked you to.'_ She added mentally.

'_Damn! I just had to make that comment about how girls usually lasted longer. This is what I get…'_ He thought to himself. "I don't know how much longer I can keep this up… I don't have that much stamina. I'm sorry." The young Ikari admitted finally.

"Well, you can always fuck me…" Asuka suggested playfully with a wiggle of her hips to emphasize her point.

Shinji grew quiet. He didn't want to say no, but he couldn't say yes. And now his hands were getting tired too. "Ah…"

"It's ok, Shinji-kun. You can stop. I understand." The second child stated seriously, trying her best to hide the disappointment in her voice.

The blue-eyed boy pulled his fingers out of the girl and lied down beside her, ashamed at his lack of skills and stamina, as well as his refusal to go all the way. "I'm sorry." He said finally.

"It's ok, Shinji-kun. It's still been the best day of my life." Asuka admitted honestly. "I think I'm just going to… rest my eyes for a bit." She murmured as she dozed off against the young pilot's shoulder.

'_Damn… now I have to pee…'_ Shinji thought pitifully as the girl draped herself over him.

* * *

Misato stared at the monitor displaying the motionless form of Dr. Akagi as the woman sat in a chair with her head hanging down in a defeated pose. "So you're telling me… Rit… ah… Akagi-sensei destroyed the Dummy Plug system, somehow vanished from Central Dogma entirely, and then two days later she comes back and turns herself in?" The major inquired in a skeptical tone.

"Yes, Katsuragi-shousa." Maya replied, staring at the same image with regret and sadness in her eyes.

The purple-haired beauty frowned thoughtfully. "Has she said anything?"

"Except for requesting to speak to Pilot Ayanami, no ma'am." The young captain informed her.

Suspicion clouded Major Katsuragi's eyes as she nodded. "Has the commander said anything?"

"He and Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki have been in the lower labs in Central Dogma all day. I sent them a message but all I received in reply was that they would handle it when they were done with whatever it is they're doing." The young Ibuki replied. _'Probably sacrificing virgins and drinking their blood.'_ She added mentally.

Misato nodded. "I'll go see if she'll speak to me, then." She stated.

"Katsuragi-shousa, tell her… never mind. Good luck." Maya sat down with a sigh and fell silent.

The major nodded and walked down into the brig and entered the doctor's cell. "Ritsu-chan… you've gotten yourself into a lot of trouble, you know." She stated as she shook her head sadly.

Dr. Akagi let out a dry laugh as she stared at her feet. "That's what I always loved about you, Misa-chan, your penchant for understatement. Has the firing squad lined up for me yet?"

"Not quite yet. The commanders are down in one of the lower labs and apparently aren't going to give any orders concerning you until they return." Misato replied. She paused for a few moments before asking, "So… why did you do it?"

"Which part? Destroying the Dummy Plug, or turning myself in?" The blonde doctor inquired in a flat defeated tone.

"Both. But I'm more curious about the Dummy Plug for the moment." Major Katsuragi clarified.

Ritsuko let out a dry laugh and shook her head. "I didn't destroy the Dummy Plug, Misa-chan. I destroyed _Rei_."

The purple-haired beauty frowned and crossed her arms as she leaned against the wall. "So it's true then. The Dummy Plug wasn't just based on Rei. What were they… clones of her?"

"Soulless abominations, more like it. But yes, clones of that little… yes." The doctor sighed, ignoring the tears that dripped from her eyes.

Misato was silent for a few minutes as she ordered her thoughts. "So why did you turn yourself in? You somehow managed to escape unnoticed after you did your deed. Why come back? You had to know what would happen."

"Penance. Whether they were shells or not, I murdered dozens of children." Dr. Akagi stated, though it seemed that wasn't what disturbed her the most.

The major snorted. "I know you better than that, Ritsu-chan. Why did you really come back? Why do you want to see Pilot Ayanami? Especially after what you did to… I suppose they may as well have been her sisters."

Ritsuko turned her head towards the major for the first time, looking her in the eye. "You tell me, Misa-chan."

Major Katsuragi's eyes widened in horror as she unconsciously gripped her cross tightly. "Merciful god in heaven… what have you done to yourself, Ritsu-chan!"

"Let's just say I was… touched by an angel. I haven't quite figured it out myself, yet." The blonde doctor stated with a tired shrug.

"Oh god… oh god… I'm sorry." Misato rushed out of the cell without another word, clutching a hand to her temple as the guards closed the cell behind her. She rushed down the hall and into the nearest wash closet to splash cold water across her face and decide whether she could keep her lunch down or not. After resting her head against the cold steel of the sink for several minutes, she was finally able to collect herself. She forced herself into military mode; otherwise she would have broken down into hysterics. The major made her way back up into the command center and sat down next to Maya, staring at the floor with a distant and haunted look on her face.

A few moments later, the captain pressed a cup of coffee into the purple-haired beauty's hands. "I take it you saw her eyes. Try sipping some coffee; it helped me a little."

Misato nodded absently and sipped at the bitter coffee and shook her head. "What… happened to her? Eyes just don't… do that."

Captain Ibuki shook her head, equally baffled. "They were like that when she came in. Somehow, she still sees out of them just fine. But they're just… blank and white. It's like the pupils and irises just vanished, leaving only the sclera. It scared the crap out of me."

The major nodded reluctantly. "Me too. You could have warned me, you know."

Maya blushed in embarrassment, realizing she was right. "I… honestly didn't think she'd look at you. I was also a bit lost in my own thoughts. I'm sorry."

Major Katsuragi sighed and leaned back in her chair to stretch her aching back muscles, her fatigue starting to catch up on her. "It's ok. So do you think Commander Ikari will allow her to see Ayanami?"

The captain giggled softly and shook her head. "I think there's a better chance that he'll invite an angel in to pilot an Eva. I mean… after what she did to the Dummy Plug system…"

"You knew what it was, didn't you?" Misato asked with suspicion on her voice.

"Yes." Captain Ibuki admitted with a blush. "I was Akagi-sempai's assistant, you know. I knew almost everything she knew."

They both fell into an uncomfortable silence for a while before Maya decided to break the tension with a question she figured she probably shouldn't ask, but couldn't help herself. "So… Ikari-kun and Ayanami-chan… they're a couple now?"

The major nodded absently. "Yeah." A moment later the suspicion crept back into her eyes. "I'm surprised you're interested in that, captain."

Maya's eyes widened at that insight and tried to think of an explanation quickly. "Ah, well… I've tried to take Ayanami under my wing, so to speak. You know, be a big sister to her, in a way. Sort of like how Akagi-sempai did with me. I think in a way she appreciates it, but she seems to have a problem expressing herself that way. And… to be honest, recently I've tried to be Ikari-kun's friend as well."

A knowing smile formed on the purple-haired beauty's lips. "You slept with one of them, didn't you?"

The young Ibuki's mouth dropped open in shock. "I… how did you know that!"

"You did! I was just teasing! Which one did you sleep with!" Misato sat up a little straighter, her fatigue forgotten with the juicy gossip that just fell into her lap.

The captain turned scarlet as she blushed and scrunched down lower in her seat, realizing she had fallen straight into the major's trap. "Which one do you think?"

Major Katsuragi considered carefully as she gave the blushing captain an appraising look. "From what I've observed about you? I'd guess Ayanami. I suppose I can't blame you, she is cute. I don't think I could get into someone that… anti-social, though."

Maya's head was swimming. _'She… knows I'm into girls? So it's true then. Is it better to correct her, or let her keep believing that I had sex with Rei-chan? Shinji-kun lives with her… she probably thinks of him as a son, or a little brother at least… she's probably pretty protective of him.'_ She coughed and blushed again. "She… takes a little more effort than normal, but she's a sweet kid." She paused for a few moments, waiting to be chastised, but it never came. "You're not going to chew me out for sleeping with a minor?"

Misato shook her head. "As long as it was consensual, why should I care? It's hard to think of them as children, isn't it? We send them out into life or death battles all the time." She paused for a few moments before a smile returned to her face. "So… what was she like in bed?"

The captain blushed and sank even further down into her seat, wishing she had stayed home that day. "Ah… it was nice." She hoped that was sufficient explanation.

"Oh please, that's not good enough! I want details!" The major demanded.

The pretty dark-haired woman groaned and prayed for an angel attack, but the heavens conspired against her and the alerts remained silent. "She was… curious and eager. But very gentle, also. It was… nice." She assumed that's how Rei would be, and it was basically how Shinji was, so it wasn't a total lie. Or so she told herself.

The purple-haired beauty contemplated that for a while before asking, "So… were you just lonely? Or… did she have a crush on you? I just can't imagine Ayanami asking you to sleep with her… so I assume you made the first move."

Maya felt like slapping her hand to her face as she wished the other woman would change the subject. She felt fairly sure that the major knew of her feelings for Ritsuko, so she decided a little rearranging of the truth would suffice. "I… told Akagi-sempai about my… feelings for her and she rejected me. I felt pretty bad… and Ayanami seemed so lonely so I guess I came on to her a little. Mainly I was just trying to relax her a little bit but she responded and that… intrigued me, I guess."

Misato nodded, wondering if that was the same night that the bottle-blonde doctor had basically molested her when she went over there to sleep, but figured it would have had to have happened before Rei had come over to her apartment with Asuka. The pieces seemed to fit. "So… was she good?"

'_She's not going to drop this subject!'_ The captain realized in horror as she wondered if she'd have a permanent blush after this discussion. "Ah… well… we both had an orgasm. So… yes." She looked over at her console, but nothing of interest had come up.

The major started giggling. When Maya gave her a curious look, she gave voice to her thoughts. "I just got a mental picture of you two having sex. I bet it was pretty hot."

"Oh god… can we _please_ change the subject?" The young Ibuki pleaded, giving in to the temptation to slap her hand to her face as her eyes squeezed shut in embarrassment.

The purple-haired vixen chuckled for a few moments before a devilish smile formed on her lips. "Did I ever tell you about the time that I spent a whole week in bed fucking Kaji-san?"

Maya sighed. _'She seems to get perverted when she's over-tired and sober. I wonder if she'd mellow out if I got a few drinks into her? Hmm… I wonder what other moods I could get her into if I… oh stop it! Now **my** mind is going into the sewer! I wonder if those blue cells are still in me, messing me up… yes, that must be it.'_ She shook her head to clear it. She couldn't think of anything better to talk about so she shook her head. "No… a whole week? Wow… tell me about it?"

Misato grinned and started describing the various activities they took part in intimate sordid detail. She got even more descriptive when the captain seemed unaware of what some of the terms she used meant, and then had to explain why she would ever let someone do that to her, or why she would want to do that to someone. At one point Lieutenant Hyuga had walked in to check to see whether the captain had reported in or not, but as soon as he heard what the women were talking about, he made all haste to return home, nearly having a heart attack on the way.

* * *

Rei approached Kaoru, whom was currently looking at paintings hanging in an art store. Some of them had grown rather grimy because of the shattered window and days of windblown dirt and rain from the past few weeks. But all in all, they were more or less intact. She stood behind the last angel for several minutes silently until he turned his head to give her a pleasant smile. "Walk with me." She requested dryly, turning without another word to exit to the street and began walking without even looking to see if the boy complied or not.

"So how are you feeling today, dear sister?" The fifth child inquired politely, casually strolling beside the quiet girl with his hands in his pockets and a serene smile seemingly permanently plastered on his face.

"No problems to report." The blue-haired beauty responded automatically. She fell silent as she walked.

"And Shinji-kun? He seems… happy. As do you." The silver-haired boy observed.

The red-eyed angel turned her head slightly to regard the tall boy for several moments before responding. "What is your interest in Ikari?"

Kaoru shrugged nonchalantly. "I love him."

"Did you love him as he squeezed the life out of you?" The first child asked flatly.

"Yes. Not the first time, I admit. But the second time, yes." The red-eyed boy responded with a gentle laugh.

Rei's eyes narrowed slightly. "Second time? So this is at least the third Day, then."

The young Nagisa nodded, even though the girl walking beside him wasn't looking his way. "Yes, as far as I can remember, anyway. You seem to have gotten it right this time. That's quite an improvement from your former self, dear sister. It took her six times, if I recall correctly."

"They had less to work with." The blue-haired angel responded absently.

Kaoru nodded. "True. But your desires were more complicated. I am surprised they worked out so well this time. Tell me, what _did_ you do to Soryu?"

Ayanami's eyes narrowed again and her eyes shifted slightly as she searched her memory, which at the moment seemed like a distant dream. "I gave her… what she desired most. However, she still seems to be dying. Perhaps that is her destiny. My heart…" She paused for a few moments to identify her emotions. "My heart aches for her."

"Why? It is Shinji-kun that your soul cries out for, and it is he that you have become one with." The silver-haired angel inquired curiously, turning to gaze at the girl's profile.

The first child nodded. "Yes. But she is also a part of my heart. I have loved her since that day…"

The last angel quirked an eyebrow up curiously. "Which day was that?"

"On the elevator. She slapped me." Rei responded enigmatically. "She earned my empathy that day. I suppose when I recreated the world this time, I took that into consideration."

Though the fifth child didn't know what she was talking about, he understood the sentiment as he had developed love for Shinji in a rather similar fashion, except without having to endure an assault. "Fascinating. It seems you remember everything now, or the important things, at least. Now tell me, dear sister… what did you do with Adam?"

"I do not know where Adam is. I only know where a part of him is, but that will not help you. If you want to control Third Impact, you will have to merge with Lilith and use her power to seek out Adam." The red-eyed girl stated emotionlessly.

The silver-haired angel smiled and reached his hand out to tenderly stroke his fingertips over the girl's cheek, which made her eyes widen in surprise. "I could save myself the time and become one with _you_, dear sister. I think it would even be… quite pleasant."

"Perhaps then, I should save Shinji-kun the heartache of having to kill you and do it myself right now." Rei deadpanned, brushing the other angel's hand away from her face. "You have touched me twice now without my permission. Do not attempt it a third time."

"Of course, dear sister." Kaoru replied with a bow. "I see you still have no sense of humor. A pity. Now then, my promise was to give you and Shinji-kun time to find your happiness before I made my move. That promise has now been fulfilled. It is now my time to seek out my destiny."

The first child shook her head once. "I wish for more time. I had hoped that Soryu would find her own happiness before you…" She trailed off and turned her head in the general direction of Misato's apartment for a few moments, genuine surprise crossing her face. She noticed the other angel turn his head in that direction as well, though she paid it no mind. They both remained silent for several minutes before a smile graced the blue-haired beauty's lips. "Shinji-kun… you surprise me."

The last angel smiled and turned to look at Ayanami. "Judging by that lovely song of happiness streaming from Soryu's soul, I take it you have no further objections?"

The red-eyed girl shook her head once. "None. You may make your attempt whenever you are ready."

The silver-haired boy nodded. "I do have one problem, however. Kyoko did not allow me to dominate her this time. We both know Yui would never allow me to dominate _her_, so your changes prevent me from fulfilling my destiny."

Ayanami turned her gaze up at the other angel's and stared at him blankly for several moments before she responded. "Unit 00 was repaired in secret. You may use her."

Kaoru blinked in surprise. "Do you honestly believe I can dominate her? What does that say about _you_, dear sister?"

Rei glanced towards Misato's apartment again for several long moments before she replied. "If my Eva does not kill you herself, yes, you can dominate her. She… likes being told what to do."

The fifth child smiled and looked the frail-looking girl over for several moments. "Fascinating."

"Goodbye, Tabris. We shall not speak again." The first child stated as she started walking away.

"Unless the new Day dawns, that is." Tabris responded.

The crimson-eyed girl shook her head once. "Success or failure, I will not make the world over again. Heaven is now silent. We shall _not_ speak again." She deadpanned, only pausing long enough to make that statement before she walked towards the transports down into the GeoFront and NERV headquarters.

Kaoru smiled. "Amazing. Even she has earned my love." He let his eyes trail down towards NERV headquarters deep below his feet for several minutes before his gaze fixed on a single point. "Ah, there you are, little Rei-chan. Can you come out to play?" He laughed softly and started walking towards his temporary home, whistling a joyous tune as he started planning his strategy.

* * *

Cue dramatic and ominous music. Teehee Next chapter: Asuka and Shinji bond a bit, and um… I'm not sure if anything else will make it into that chapter or not. It's probably going to be exceptionally long just on that segment alone, as evidenced by the above where that first segment alone was as long as some of my longest chapters! Asuka and Shinji have a lot to work out, but it's possible I might fit in a scene between Ritsuko and Rei. We shall see. Asuka made a journal entry early in the "day", as you saw in this chapter, but she'll likely make another entry sometime around the next chapter that comes out since the "day" isn't quite over yet. Anyway, until then, auf Wiedersehen. 


	32. Time to Regret

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Bonus points to whomever figures out what game Shinji and Asuka were playing. Bonus points at what, I have no idea. You can reward yourself with a cookie, I guess. Sugarless, if you're diabetic or something. Yeah, that's the ticket!

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 32: Time to Regret

Shinji's bladder informed him that if he didn't get up and go use the toilet, it would choose to empty itself regardless. And when organs and tissues decide to speak up, they mean business. So he came up with a bright idea… he eased himself out from under the German spitfire that was draped over him, then he gently picked her up and placed her onto the couch. A moment later he was rushing into the wash closet to relieve himself. "Phew… I nearly made a mess." The boy breathed out before washing his hands.

He quickly walked back out and checked on Asuka and he found it interesting that the disturbed expression on her face seemed to vanish as he approached. _'She can sense when I'm near? I guess as long as I'm around to watch over her, she's ok.'_ He reasoned. The third child's stomach took that opportunity to remind him that breakfast was the next order of business, which was the loose translation of the grumbling noises it made. An amused smile crossed his face as he patted his abdomen. He moved into the kitchen and started cooking, diverting part of his attention towards the couch to keep watch for any signs of distress from the second child.

Asuka sat up suddenly, her nose alerting her to the presence of sausage. Before the panic of not only being alone set in as well as not being in the place where she fell asleep, she heard the boy's greeting called from the kitchen. "Hey… you moved me in here?" She called out as she stretched.

"Yeah, I had to pee and I was afraid of you waking up alone again… I hope that's ok with you." The blue-eyed boy stated as he turned the sausages. "Oh, do you want an omelet or not? I wasn't sure since you seemed to have developed an aversion to eggs…"

The red-haired girl scratched her stomach and yawned as she stood up. She looked down and blushed as she realized she hadn't redressed after being… serviced by the young Ikari. And yet he was fully dressed, as he had been while he pleasured her. "Pervert." She grumbled playfully as she stuck her tongue out at him. She then started walking towards Shinji's room to retrieve her clothes. "I'll try them. I can't promise I'll finish them, but we'll see." She answered the question finally before heading into the room to dress.

Shinji smiled as he admired the girl's body, but made sure to focus on the cooking when she came back out so she didn't see the smirk on his face. "Ah, would you prefer them scrambled or as an omelet?" He inquired.

The German pilot approached and poked at the sausages and lowered the heat a bit on the range. "If you're willing to make those neat little layered omelets, then I'll take one of those." She pulled open the refrigerator and smiled as she pulled out some orange juice. "Schön (Beautiful/nice/general word of approval)… you found some juice? Are they still sending some supplies or was this left over from before that last angel attack?"

The third child shook his head. "They have to be sending some supplies. It's been over two weeks, and with all the NERV personnel still in the city, the supplies would all be gone by now otherwise. Unless they've been hitting all the stores that are closed…"

"Or going to the NERV cafeteria as much as possible." Asuka added as she munched on a pickle. "Speaking of supplies, I need to pick up my happy pills after breakfast. Do you mind coming with me?"

The blue-eyed boy blinked a few times, but then he realized that with Rei spending the next day or two in NERV headquarters with his father, there wasn't much else to do but watch movies and play video games. "Sure, I don't mind."

The second child nodded and plopped down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. "Those sausages need another ten minutes." She informed the boy absently.

Shinji looked at the sausages, which looked nearly done, then over at the German girl. "Are you sure? You haven't even looked at them since you adjusted the heat."

The red-haired beauty tapped her nose and grinned. "I don't _have_ to look at them. I could cook sausages blind-folded."

The third child grinned and shook his head. "It's amazing that you can't cook anything else."

"I'm German. We're not even allowed into Gymnasium (one of the school systems, grades 5-13 basically, university track. Different from the vocation schools) without knowing how to cook sausage properly, you know." Asuka informed him.

The blue-eyed boy stared at the girl with his mouth hanging open. "Are you serious?" He blurted out finally.

"No, silly boy. I'm teasing you." The red-haired girl giggled and rested her folded arms across the back of the chair and then her chin on top of her arms to watch the boy as he cooked. "I learned how to cook sausage growing up because my aunt worked in the morning, so it was either eat cold cereal and toast every single morning, or learn how to cook sausage and eggs for something different. I never really had a talent for anything else. But I was too busy with Eva pilot training and Gymnasium, and then Universität to learn how to cook anything else. I barely had time to even sleep when I was studying for das Abitur."

"Do you want to try some miso again? Before you eat meat, this time?" Shinji inquired, which earned a shrug from the girl so he handed her a bowl to sip on while she waited for the rest of the meal. "So why did you push yourself that hard? I mean… why go to university so young?"

The second child shrugged as she sipped the soup, frowning a bit but not finding it quite as disgusting as it had been the last time she sampled it. "I was intelligent enough. If I did my schooling at the normal pace, I became bored. So, I took all the accelerated courses so I could stay interested. I also felt that what I learned would be useful as an Eva pilot. And I was right. I wouldn't have defeated that angel in the volcano without my knowledge of thermodynamics. Frau Doktor Akagi has all those degrees, but it was me with my simple physics degree that came up with that idea. I'd be dead now if I relied on her knowledge and ideas alone, ja?"

The young Ikari nodded, realizing she was right. "I see your point. I never really applied myself to schooling… I suppose I never saw much point in doing more than what was expected of me. Nothing really caught my attention. I learned the cello because it was expected of me. I did my schooling because it was expected also. But I never found… my passion, I guess."

"Until you became an Eva pilot, ja?" Asuka inquired.

The blue-eyed boy gave the girl a quizzical look. "What makes you think that's my passion? I think I've made it pretty clear that I hate piloting that thing."

"True, but you do it because you're protecting the people you love. And that, mein Freund, is your passion." The German girl stated confidently.

The third child considered that silently. He wasn't sure he agreed with her, but he admitted to himself that she was smarter than he was and she was also an outside observer, so she could have picked up on things he wasn't aware of. "Ah… do you want some bacon, as well?"

The blue-eyed girl's eyes lit up. "We have bacon? Sicher (Sure), cook it up!"

Shinji grinned with his back to the girl, as he had known she'd like that. "Yeah, I found some pepper bacon at the market. I knew you'd like it, so I picked some up." He placed the bacon into the same skillet as the sausages, figuring they'd both be done about the same time. He finished up an omelet and placed it on a plate for the girl and handed it to her as he sipped at his own bowl of miso soup.

"Do we have enough food for lunch and dinner? Or should we stop at the market while we're out?" The second child inquired as she stared at the omelet and tried to decide whether she could eat it or not, trying to block out what the well-meaning first child had called eggs. _'Well… most people probably wouldn't eat a lot of foods if they really knew what was in it or what it was made out of… so what if eggs are chicken menses. It's not like it's blood and uterine lining like it is for humans…'_ She reasoned as she took a hesitant bite, finding the omelet to be sweet and a little salty. Her stomach informed her that it didn't care what eggs were either, so she started wolfing down the omelet. Once that was done, she ended up finishing off the miso soup as well and then started munching on some pickled vegetables in a bowl on the table, something she rarely did.

The blue-eyed boy blinked in surprise as he saw the girl ravenously devour all the food she could get her hands on. He knew she had been eating normally, if not a little more than usual lately, so seeing her so hungry was quite a surprise. He wondered if it was because of their activities earlier that morning, or if something else was going on. A nagging feeling crept into the back of his mind as he recalled he had a hunger like that when his S2 organ first became active. "No, we have plenty of food now. Unless there's something special you want for dinner, we won't need to go to the market."

"Do we have any rice?" Asuka inquired, looking over at the rice steamer.

The third child blinked again. The only time the German girl asked for rice was when she was exceptionally hungry or they were having something spicy, or if it was part of the meal itself. "Ah… of course. Let me get you some…"

"No need, I'll get it. You need to flip that bacon over." The red-haired girl informed him, getting up and grabbing a bowl and then she started to scoop out a rather large amount of rice into it. She grabbed a fork and started shoveling the rice into her mouth as she eyed the sausages and bacon.

"Are you… feeling ok? It's unusual to see you so hungry unless you've missed a meal…" Shinji stated hesitantly, a feeling of foreboding settling over him.

"Herr Doktor Kagame said as the depression was counteracted by the medication, that I'd likely start noticing things like hunger and my libido… I've just been a little hungrier lately than normal, that's all. I feel great. Better than I've ever felt in my life, actually." The second child grinned as she finished off the rice and approached the stove. "The sausage is ready. Turn the heat down all the way and give the bacon another minute or so to get crispy."

"Ah… hai." The young Ikari nodded as he used some prongs to lift the sausage onto a serving plate after lowering the heat. "Any ah… side effects from the medication? Like ah… are you having mild hallucinations, or um… waking dreams? Anything… just really strange?" He inquired carefully.

"Dry throat sometimes… increased appetite and libido. That's all." Asuka replied as she retrieved some brown mustard from the refrigerator. She glanced back at the boy curiously. "The symptoms you mentioned aren't listed side effects of the medication. Do you know something I don't?"

The third child's eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. "No! Of course not. There's actually been a bit of a strange illness going around with those symptoms. I guess I was just a little worried, because a ravenous appetite seems to be one of the indicators."

The German girl smiled. "Aw… that's so sweet that you're concerned about me, Shinji-kun. Thank you, but I'm fine. It's just the medication that's making me hungry. Or, as the soul plumber said, I was this hungry before but I just didn't notice it."

Shinji nodded in relief and prodded the bacon for a few moments. A moment later he placed them on a paper towel and set them on the table. He grabbed a bowl of rice for himself and sat down with his own omelet, taking a small amount of the bacon and one of the sausages and leaving the rest for the ravenous second child. He watched her with a happy feeling in his heart. He wasn't sure if it was because of her appreciation for his concern, or whether it was because he was happy seeing her happy, or because she was enjoying the meal he cooked for her, or just a combination of it all.

Asuka frowned slightly at the sausages. "I guess they didn't have any decent bratwurst?"

"I was lucky to find those. I'm sorry." The third child admitted. Though he didn't taste much difference between these sausages and the brand the girl normally preferred, he found it uncanny that she always knew when he was forced to buy an inferior brand.

"It's ok, the bacon more than makes up for it." The German girl stated, chewing on the crunchy seasoned bacon with a content grin on her face. She sighed a few moments later as she finished her meal and patted her stomach. "That hit the spot."

"I'm glad." The blue-eyed boy replied with a happy smile. _'It's definitely that she's happy, that I feel this way. I wish everyone I cared about could stay this happy. Maybe she's right… my passion is keeping those that I love happy and safe.'_

Without even being asked to, the second child placed her dishes in the dishwasher after giving them a quick rinse, and then she headed to the wash closet to brush her teeth and use the toilet.

Shinji was surprised by that, because normally she never cleaned up after herself. _'I guess she really **is** feeling good today. Is it… because of what we did earlier? Will she stop being happy if she realizes that I didn't intend to do it on a regular basis?'_ He wondered.

The red-haired beauty came out a few minutes later with her hair brushed and her breath pleasant. "I'm ready when you are."

The blue-eyed boy nodded and went to wash up as well after he finished cleaning up after breakfast and placing some more rice into the steamer for later. When he walked out he was ambushed by a sudden hug from the German girl. "Eh?" He gasped out in surprise.

"Good morning." The second child stated with a flirtatious smile.

The young Ikari laughed nervously. "Ah… good morning." He blushed from the unexpected affection, realizing the girl was indeed in a very good mood.

"Ready to go?" Asuka inquired, which earned a nod from the still stunned boy. She picked up her prescription bottle so it could be refilled and tucked it into her purse. They walked to the pharmacy in relative silence, though the blue-eyed girl hummed a happy tune to herself. After they got to the store, she looked over at the introspective boy beside her as she inquired, "Do you need anything while we're here?"

"Ah… no. I'm ok." Shinji replied, glancing around nervously.

"Hmm. All right." The second child replied in a tone that suggested she didn't believe him. She walked up to the pharmacist and smiled at the 30ish year old woman as she handed the pill bottle over. "I need a refill on that, please, Miss Pharmacist."

The woman nodded and went into the back to refill the bottle and returned a few minutes later. "Can I get anything else for you today?" She inquired politely.

The German girl looked over at the dark-haired boy standing nervously behind her for a few moments then looked back at the pharmacist. "Yes, a box of condoms, please."

"Huh?" Shinji gasped out in surprise, his eyes widening in shock.

"Of course. What size?" The older lady asked, casually looking the young Ikari over, correctly assuming they were for him.

The red-haired girl frowned slightly and looked back at the boy behind her and raised an eyebrow. "What do you think, Shinji-kun?"

"I don't need any of… those!" The third child squeaked out, horrified by the question and its implications.

Asuka sighed and shook her head. "Boys. They always think they don't need them." She stated in a disappointed tone. She glared at the boy for several moments before she spoke again. "Just answer the question, please."

"I don't know!" The blue-eyed boy retorted, his face doing a very convincing tomato impersonation. "Um… small I guess? Or maybe medium?"

The second child looked down at the boy's crotch area skeptically then turned back to the pharmacist. "He's about so long… and so thick." She informed the woman, using her hands to indicate the sizes, which nearly made the poor boy behind her pass out.

The pharmacist placed a box of condoms onto the counter as she gave the boy a more interested perusal. "Will there be anything else?" She asked, her eyes not stopping from their appraisal of the self-conscious boy that seemed to be trying his best to disappear.

The blue-eyed girl considered buying some extra feminine products, but she knew she had enough to last one more cycle and she was afraid making such a purchase would turn the boy off so she decided to hold off on those items until she could come back by herself, or at the very least with Misato or Rei. "Oh! Yes, can you recommend a good lubrication? I've heard some don't do well with condoms… so…"

The woman nodded and reached under the counter and placed one amongst the other purchases. "Water-based ones are your best choice. This one is my recommendation."

"Asuka!" Shinji protested, his face darkening even more in embarrassment.

"What? It doesn't hurt to have some, just in case. Something like this shouldn't embarrass you. If you can do the deed, you should be man enough to prepare for such things." The German girl admonished him playfully.

The young Ikari didn't want to reply saying he hadn't planned to do the deed to begin with, but figured it was best he kept his tongue on that. "Fine. Are we done here?"

The second child looked at the box of condoms and the count of how many there were. "You think this is enough? Or should we get a second box?"

"That's enough!" The blue-eyed boy blurted out, wishing desperately he hadn't agreed to come along for the shopping trip.

Asuka shrugged and handed her NERV-issued insurance card over. "That should cover everything. Or… maybe not the lubrication… is that covered?"

"Not usually, but I'll check your policy." The pharmacist replied, swiping the card and frowning when it said all the purchases were covered. _'Wow… I've never seen an insurance policy cover sex-aids beyond contraceptives before…'_ She thought to herself. She wondered why NERV felt that the pilots' lubrication needs should be covered, but she shrugged and bagged everything and handed the card back over. "Looks like you're covered. Have a nice day and come back to see us."

The German girl sighed with relief, because she still didn't have any money and she doubted that the third child would hand over the cash to pay for the lubrication since he was protesting getting it in the first place. She smiled and thanked the pharmacist and picked up the bag. "You said we had food for lunch and dinner, right? Or do you want to stop somewhere for lunch while we're out?"

Shinji looked over at the other pilot in surprise. "We just had breakfast less than an hour ago!"

The red-haired beauty shrugged. "I'm just asking."

The third child scratched his head. "Are you craving something we don't have at home, or something?"

"Yes! I've been craving some fajitas for weeks now!" Asuka exclaimed, salivating at the thought of the meal.

The young Ikari considered that. For some reason, the thought of fajitas made him really hungry too. "There are only two restaurants open though… one is a Japanese restaurant; the other is a European style one. I don't think they have Mexican or Tex-Mex dishes."

The second child's smile dropped immediately and she looked crestfallen. "Those fucking cowards! Why'd they all have to leave! They're inconveniencing the very people who are saving their miserable ungrateful lives!"

Sweat formed on Shinji's brow as he witnessed the girl's sudden mood-swing. "Ah… we could just get the ingredients and I can make them at home." He suggested, hoping to bring the smile back to the girl's face.

"I've been keeping an eye out for the ingredients since all the stores closed. Do you know how hard it is to find tortillas in this country! Let alone the peppers and spices we'd need." The blue-eyed girl grumbled in disappointment. "Need to find some fish? It's all over the place. You can't take a step without seeing fresh fish for sale. All manner of soy products? It's practically falling from the sky! Rice? Just reach your hand out, you'll bring it back with a fistful. But if you want to find western foods, you better get your ass on a plane, then." She spat out.

The sweat-drops increased in size on the boy's brow. "Ah… I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault! Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault, damn it!" Asuka exclaimed as she threw her arms up in exasperation.

The sweat-drops grew to astronomical proportions. "… I'm sorry." The young Ikari repeated, unable to think of anything else to say.

The German girl gripped her hair tightly and let out a cry of frustration. "Saublöder Junge! (Bloody stupid boy!)" She yelled for the entire world to hear. She glared at the clueless boy for a few moments, and when he started to apologize again she suddenly grabbed him just under both ears and gave him a hot toe-curling kiss. "When did that stop being annoying and start being adorable?" She wondered aloud as their lips parted.

Shinji blinked rapidly, unable to even form a coherent thought at the moment.

A smug grin formed on the second child's lips for a few moments and then she suddenly held her hand out. "Give me your cell phone."

"Huh? What's wrong with yours?" The blue-eyed boy asked, unconsciously reaching into his pocket to retrieve the mobile phone.

"Nothing at all." Asuka assured him as she plucked the phone out of the flabbergasted boy's hands and started looking at his saved numbers. "Ha! I knew you'd have her number in here." She grinned as she hit the call button and held up her finger to silence the boy's question. After a few moments, she received a response. "Hello, Ibuki-taii… yes I'm using Shinji-kun's phone. I just had a quick question. I know that you, Misato-san, and Akagi-sensei keep up with all the restaurants that are open… are there any still around that serve Mexican or Tex-Mex dishes? Like any small diners or... hell, even a street-side cart will do. Yeah, we're simply dying for some fajitas. Yeah I know, it does sound good, doesn't it?" She paused as she listened, ignoring the embarrassed look on the boy's face as he realized who she was talking to. "Uh huh… oh really? I didn't even know there was a little place like that over there… yeah… well, ah… we're kind of on a date tonight. Maybe next time? No, he's still with Ayanami. She just lent him to me. Uh huh… ok, thanks again." She hung up and handed the phone back to the blushing boy. "Thanks, Shinji-kun. There's a sports bar open down in the GeoFront near headquarters that serves fajitas and nachos and all that good stuff."

Shinji made several sounds as he tried to form a coherent response, but he was too flabbergasted. The red-haired beauty waited patiently for his mouth to catch up to his mind. "Wha… I… you… wha… lent? Why did you… why did you tell Ibuki-taii that!"

The German girl shrugged. "What's the problem? I know you're friends with her, but do you really care if she knows about our little arrangement?"

"Huh? Arrangement?" The third child asked, growing even more confused.

"Hmm? What, am I just your fuck-buddy now?" The blue-eyed girl asked, quirking up an eyebrow.

"No! What are you talking about!" The young Ikari protested, grabbing his temples and vainly attempting not to freak out.

Asuka smirked. "Good, I'm glad I'm not just a warm body for you to have some fun with. Now let's go, there's a transport tube over that way." Without waiting for the boy to protest, she grabbed his hand and pulled him along, appreciating the company almost as much as she was enjoying the teasing.

The blue-eyed boy sighed and kept his mouth shut, knowing better than to resist the girl because she was liable to yank his arm out of the socket. They found the sports bar after a little searching and they both scratched their head in wonder as to how they had ever missed it before. "I thought it would be a little more… rundown and dirty. It actually looked pretty upscale."

"It's in spitting distance of NERV headquarters, what do you expect? This place is probably frequented by all the personnel there. Hell, your old man probably even comes here when he wants to watch a boxing match or something." The second child informed him as they walked in. Soon after that, they were seated in a comfortable booth and given some menus. "Wow, now that is a _big_ screen. I wish we had one of those at home." She remarked, gazing in awe at the wall-mounted screen that the big sporting events were played on. Some sumo matches were the current pick.

"That screen would take up our entire wall." Shinji responded, watching as two of the rikishi in the current match faced off.

The German girl smirked as she watched the rapt interest in her fellow pilot's eyes. "Boys and their sports." She teased.

"Sumo is a martial art, not a sport." The third child responded automatically, not even blinking as the two men stared at each other than broke away to resume their rituals.

"Pardon me, I didn't mean to sully the sanctity of your martial art, Shinji-sama." The red-haired beauty quipped teasingly.

"It's ok." The blue-eyed boy replied, trying not to blink as the rikishi faced off again and rushed each other.

Asuka quirked up an eyebrow, as it was rare to see the boy this interested in anything besides music or women. "I didn't realize you were so into sumo." She remarked.

"I don't really follow it… **_Oh!_**" The young Ikari, as well as nearly every other patron in the bar cried out as one of the rikishi fell to one knee. "I thought he was going to win, too."

The German girl blinked and shook her head in confusion. "It's over? I thought one of them had to be pushed out?"

"Yeah, or they lose if any part of their body but the soles of their feet touch the ground." Shinji replied, turning his attention towards the waitress as she approached, as she had been watching the bout as well. "Oh, ah, what do you want to drink?" He inquired quickly, glancing over at the blue-eyed girl.

"I'd say a beer but I'm not supposed to have alcohol with this medication. What good is coming to a bar if you can't have a beer, ja?" The second child asked with a shake of her head. She noticed the insistent look on the boy's face so she sighed and glanced at the menu again. "I'll just have a soda."

The waitress walked up and bowed. "Welcome. What can I bring you?" She inquired with a polite smile.

The second child opened her mouth to respond, but the young Ikari spoke up first. "We'll both have fajitas. An orange soda for the lady, and I'll have a ginger ale."

Asuka blinked in surprise, astonished he ordered for them both. _'Must be one of those Japanese things. She didn't even look at me.'_ She thought. "Uh, excuse me? He wants a beer, too."

Shinji's eyes whipped around to stare at the German girl. "But I'm und-"

"He's a pilot at NERV. Show her your ID card, Shinji-kun." The blue-eyed girl stated with a wicked grin.

The waitress raised an eyebrow and stared at the boy, an amused smile on her face as she thought about how the girl was obviously the dominant one in the couple. She looked at the NERV issued ID card which identified him as an Evangelion pilot, ignored the age on it, and bowed. "Thank you, your order will be out shortly."

The third child tucked the card back into his pocket and glared at the girl across from him. "I'm underage, Asuka-chan. This isn't Germany, where you can practically drink alcohol when you're still in diapers."

"Actually it's age 16 but it's usually not enforced. And who cares if you're underage? Your ID card has your date of birth on it; the server didn't even bat an eyelash at it. You're having a beer. Don't argue with me." The German girl stated firmly.

The young Ikari smirked and looked over at the next sumo match. "Peer pressure, peer pressure!" He joked.

"Sure, like you're not drooling at the thought of having your first beer." Asuka teased.

The blue-eyed boy kept quiet, both because he was watching the next sumo bout, as well as knowing he _was_ looking forward to his first beer. When the drinks arrived, he stared at the beer for several long moments before he picked it up. Then he stared at it some more. The other pilot watched him curiously, so he finally took a long swallow. Then he shivered. "It's bitter."

"The first sip is always the worst, or best in some people's estimation. Take a few more sips before you decide if you like it. It's not a good German lager, so I can't make any estimations on whether that's a good brand or not." The German girl stated, sounding like more of an authority on the matter than she really was.

"Have you had a lot of beer?" Shinji inquired as he took another sip, not finding it quite as bitter that time. Misato had offered him beer more than once before, especially when she was drunk, but he had never accepted. He wondered why the major consumed so much of it, thinking it wasn't something he would have more than on rare occasions.

The second child shrugged nonchalantly as she sipped her soda. "I had some once or twice with my aunt. And we had a celebration that included beer when my classmates and I graduated university. The last time I had a beer was right before I came to Japan. I had a few with Kaji-san. Actually I had two and he had about five… I was actually hoping he'd get a little drunk so I could take advantage of him."

The blue-eyed boy coughed and looked down at the beer suspiciously. "Is that what you're trying to do to me?"

Asuka scoffed. "You're not going to get drunk off of one beer, Shinji-kun. At least… I don't think you will. You're a lightweight… and you're not German…" A gleam appeared in her eye and she smiled at the boy. "Do I really _need_ to get you drunk to take advantage of you?"

The third child laughed nervously. "Oh, that was a good bout." He stated to avoid answering the question.

The red-haired girl frowned, feeling a little rejected. _'I take that as a yes.'_ She thought to herself. "Shinji-kun… don't you think I'm sexy?" She asked in an innocent tone out of the blue.

Shinji's eyes widened as he stared at the other pilot for several moments then he stood up suddenly. "Ah, I have to use the toilet." He explained quickly before scampering off.

The German girl sighed and shook her head in disappointment. "That Shinji… always running away. Keep that up and I'll tie you up, little boy." After that statement a devious smirk appeared on her lips as she contemplated that thought.

The blue-eyed boy returned a few minutes later and blushed when he saw the smirk on the girl's face, though he wasn't sure why he was embarrassed. "Ah… sorry about that." He laughed nervously as he sat back down. Just as he was about to attempt to change the topic of conversation to something other than the other pilot's sex appeal, the sound of sizzling quieted them both down and they smiled as the fajitas were placed in front of them along with some chips and salsa. "Wow, this looks great! I wonder where they get their tortilla shells from?"

"Hmph… a little light on the toppings, don't you think? What is this, a thimble of sour cream?" Asuka griped as she poked the small glass container holding the aforementioned cream.

The third child laughed nervously as he started eating, glad that the girl in front of him was doing the same, despite her protests about the scarceness of toppings for the meat. "I still can't believe we're eating like this so soon after breakfast…"

"So we'll have a late dinner. So what?" The blue-eyed girl shrugged before stuffing her mouth with a fajita. After chewing and swallowing a mischievous grin was cast the boy's way.

Shinji blinked several times, speechless. _'Why… is she smiling at me like that?'_ He wondered.

'_He is so turned on… he was totally wishing it was his penis that was in my mouth like that.'_ The second child thought smugly.

The dark-haired boy coughed nervously and looked at the television screen on the wall. "Oh… the sumo matches are over." He remarked in disappointment. A few moments later the program was switched to a Japanese baseball game, which was ignored by the boy. "Should we bother replacing my bedding… or getting you new bedding if you'd prefer not taking yours back?" He inquired.

"You… don't want me sleeping with you anymore?" The red-haired beauty asked timidly.

A middle-aged man just happened to be walking past them at about that moment and he paused and looked between the two youngsters. "Idiot. I wouldn't let a hot girl like that go if I were you. If this guy doesn't want you, I'll take you." He grinned down at the lovely young spitfire.

Asuka blinked several times, waiting for Shinji to rush to her defense, but he seemed too intimidated to say anything. "You're Watanabe, right? One of the mechanics at NERV?" She asked the man.

The man's smile grew larger at being recognized. "Yes, that's me." He affirmed.

The German pilot nodded. "If you don't walk away in the next three seconds, my Eva will step on you the next time I pilot it."

Watanabe's mouth dropped open in shock. "But I was just…"

"Two…" The blue-eyed beauty stated, glancing at her watch.

"Going! Bye!" The man rushed off, breaking into a sweat.

Shinji laughed softly. "I don't think you have to worry about him hitting on you anymore, Asuka-chan."

The second child turned a cold glare to the boy, which made him stiffen in surprise. Just as he was starting to ask why she was looking at him like that, she informed him. "You're a jerk, Shinji. You didn't even defend me! You just sat there staring like a slack-jawed yokel while that ugly wrinkled old geezer tried to work his country-boy charms on me!"

The young Ikari recoiled in fear from the intense glare the girl was giving him. "It… it's not my place to defend you like that!" He protested.

"Yes it is, god damn it!" Asuka cried, getting up suddenly and walking out the door.

The blue-eyed boy stared at the retreating figure of the girl for several moments before he realized she wasn't coming back or even slowing down. "Shit!" He grumbled, jumping up and tossing more than enough money to pay for the meal on the table before rushing out after the girl. "Asuka-chan! Slow down!" He hurried after her, only catching up as she boarded a train going back to the transports going up to the surface. They both sat down, the girl staring out the window with an angry look on her face, and the boy looking scared. "What was that about?" He asked timidly.

"If you cared about me, you'd defend me. If you loved me, you'd take care of me. If you wanted me, you'd show it. But you don't. And I just can't figure out why I'm not good enough for you." The second child stated in a distant, defeated tone.

Shinji's mouth dropped open in shock and it took him several tries before he could force words out of his numbed lips. "That's… that's not it at all! You know I care about you! Why are you acting like this? Is it… the medication?"

"You can't handle my feelings, so you blame the drugs? You son of a…" She trailed off into a long stream of very loud obscenities in German, English, and Japanese as she clenched her fists in anger.

The third child paled and cringed away from the girl, glancing around quickly and was relieved that they were alone in the train. "Asuka-chan… I'm sorry." He hoped the girl's wrath would be diffused with an apology. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect.

Asuka rushed forward and grabbed onto the other pilot's shirt, yanked him up to his feet and slammed him back against the glass window behind him. "Shut the fuck up! Don't fucking apologize for that kind of thing! Don't…" She trailed off as she realized she had hurt the boy. "Damn it! Don't just let me hurt you like this! Push me away or grab my wrists or something!" She bashed the boy's chest with her fists like a hammer striking a nail, frustrated by the boy's meek acceptance of her outbursts.

The blue-eyed boy winced in pain as the girl struck him repeatedly. A loud smacking sound was heard suddenly and they both stared at each other in awe. Shinji's eyes slowly lowered until he was staring at his reddened hand that was still tingling from the impact and then he looked up at his hand imprint on the girl's cheek. _'Oh shit…'_ was all that he could think.

One of her hands rose up to feel her hot cheek as the German girl stared at the boy who had just slapped the taste out of her mouth. Several rapid blinks later, she burst into tears and clutched at the boy's shirt.

"Oh god… I'm so sorry, Asuka-chan! I… I didn't mean to do that… I…" Shinji felt worse then than he had ever felt in his life. And that was saying quite a bit.

"You idiot… you finally defended yourself. Thank you." The red-haired beauty pushed the boy back down onto the bench and started looking him over in concern, inspecting him for wounds. "Did I hurt you badly? I'm so sorry. I didn't intend to hit you that hard…"

"I… I'm fine." The young Ikari stared at the girl, completely confused on what was going on. He knew she was unbalanced but this was more than a little disturbing. For striking her, even unintentionally like that, he had fully expected to be beaten until he could barely move… instead the girl thanked him and became tender and loving. It was just… wrong. "Are you… all right?" He inquired carefully.

The second child straddled his lap suddenly and kissed the clueless boy. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to stop me from hurting you like that? I was beginning to think you were a masochist."

"I… ah… Asuka-chan? What… are you doing?" The blue-eyed boy asked, perplexed at the girl's mysterious behavior.

Asuka nibbled on Shinji's ear and licked his neck. "I'm crazy, remember? I'm acting the part. You just don't know how worried I was that you would keep letting me hurt you… I just wanted you to stop me. To care enough to keep me from hurting you or anyone else, and to hold me tight and show me how much you care…" She whispered into his ear before kissing on his neck again.

The third child groaned as he felt the girl writhing on top of him and lust started burning its way like liquid fire through his veins. His pants were becoming incredibly uncomfortable as the girl wiggled on his lap. "Asuka-chan…" He whispered.

The blue-eyed girl leaned back and stared into the boy's darker blue eyes, adoration and desire shining through her gaze. "Shin-chan… reach into that bag and get one of those condoms out."

Shinji's mouth dropped open in shock. "Wha… what! But we're…"

The German girl unzipped the boy's pants and reached into his underpants to grasp his firm member and stroked it gently. "Hurry… we've already turned around and are going back towards NERV. We might run into passengers in the next ten minutes."

"But… but how will we…" The dark-haired boy tried desperately to find some way out of this situation.

"Reach under my skirt and push my panties to the side. I'll take care of it all, sweet boy…" Asuka gave the boy a naughty smile as she squeezed him playfully.

"Nngh… what if someone…" He latched onto his next excuse, while the third child's penis was telling him to shut the hell up and take the girl.

"If you hurry the fuck up and get that damned condom on, we'll be done before we get back into the populated section of the GeoFront! And if someone does see they'll say 'Look at that crazy girl… and that lucky bastard! Now hurry, damn it!" The red-haired beauty urged as she pulled her skirt up enough that it wasn't in the way.

Shinji licked his lips nervously as his hand moved of its own volition into the bag and he fumbled with the box of condoms to pry it open. A moment later he had retrieved one of the foil packets and then torn it open. The girl snatched it from him and slipped it on for him. The boy's blood felt like it was boiling and he couldn't even form a coherent thought as the girl pushed her panties over to the side, exposing her moistened petals. He stared in rapt attention as she lowered herself towards his straining erection. The young Ikari reached up and clutched at the girl's pert buttocks automatically as she writhed around on top of him. He blinked and realized what they were doing and fear clutched at his heart. "Asuka-chan… what are we…"

"Shut up and fuck me." The second child commanded firmly, wincing slightly as she fumbled clumsily at trying to couple with the worried boy.

'_I shouldn't be doing this… why am I doing this!'_ The blue-eyed boy wondered as he pulled the girl down. _'Oh god… I'm not even inside her yet and I think I'm going to cum…'_ He opened his eyes and glanced towards the station they were approaching and his eyes widened in horror. "Oh shit! Asuka, get off! Get off now!" He cried desperately.

"But we're not done ye-" The red-haired girl started to protest.

Shinji shoved the girl off his lap and zipped his pants back up so fast he nearly got caught in the zipper as he frantically tried to straighten himself out. He was freaking out as he shoved the box of condoms back into the bag, moving faster than he ever had in his life.

"What the fuck are you… oh _shit_!" Asuka cried in horror as she saw the person waiting to get onto the train. She hastily ducked down a bit and straightened out her panties and dress as the train pulled to a stop. She felt her cheeks burning a bright red and she desperately wished they'd return to normal but that only seemed to deepen her blush as the passenger boarded the train and then sat directly across from them.

The young Ikari stared at the other person with wide eyes, knowing somehow that he knew what they were just doing on the train. He glanced over at the girl beside him and saw that her eyes were fixated on a discoloration on the floor and her cheeks were as dark as her hair and he knew his own were likely the same way. He coughed nervously and tried to slow the frantic beating of his heart.

"Ikari." The man greeted stiffly.

Shinji swallowed nervously. "Good afternoon… father."

"Hello commander." The second child added, just as nervously.

Gendo remained silent as he stared at his son without expression for several minutes, then he broke the silence with a question. "Has Rei informed you that she will be at NERV until tomorrow evening?"

"Yes sir." The blue-eyed boy responded, his voice cracking slightly.

The commander nodded. He glared down at his son for another few minutes before speaking again. "Come to NERV tomorrow morning. We'll all have breakfast together."

The younger Ikari's eyes widened in shock and his mouth dropped open and after several attempts he finally forced out a response. "Ah… yes sir! Of course!"

The elder Ikari nodded and looked at the second child, whom was doing her best to disappear. "You come as well, Pilot Soryu."

Asuka's head snapped up and she stared at the man across from her in surprise. "Ah… all right." She turned to look at the third child, her eyes conveying her thoughts. _'What the hell is this about, and why does he want me to come too!'_

The train pulled to a stop at the NERV headquarters station. Gendo stood up and walked over to the exit, but he paused and turned to look at the second child and beckoned her with his finger. She cast a hesitant look at the blue-eyed boy beside her before standing up to approach the man. "Next time, use the M train. Hardly anyone uses it, especially now with the city so deserted. It also has more time between stops so privacy is easier to maintain." Without another word, he turned and left, heading towards NERV, not even slowing down as Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki fell into step beside him from where he had been waiting for the commander's arrival.

The red-haired beauty stared at the man's back with her mouth hanging open in shock. After losing her balance when the train started moving again, she rushed back to her seat beside the flustered boy and stared at him in silence.

Shinji coughed nervously. "Ah… what did he say?"

"He said…" The second child paused and rubbed her temples as her cheeks enflamed once more. "He said that the next time we fuck on a train, we should use the M train because we'll have more privacy."

The blue-eyed boy's heart stopped. "Oh shit…" He gasped out.

Asuka stared at the floor for a few moments then she suddenly started laughing. "Between Misato and your father, we just can't catch a break. But now your father knows… and doesn't seem to mind. That must be where Rei-chan gets it from, huh?"

The third child at first thought the girl had lost her touch on reality but after she spoke he found himself agreeing with her. "Yeah… you're probably right." He sighed and rubbed his temples as his head started to hurt. "I can't believe we almost… had sex... on a train, no less."

The girl's royal blue eyes shifted over to look at the boy, crestfallen by his words. _'He… regrets it. Shit. I know a girl's first time usually sucks, but this is just ridiculous.'_ She grumbled internally. Though she had to admit, it was pretty hot until they were interrupted. "Ah… you might want to get that thing off… unless you want to try again?" She suggested hopefully.

The young Ikari blushed and reached into his pants and groped around for a few minutes before yanking the condom off his deflated member. "Ah… sorry about that."

The second child sighed and leaned her head over on the boy's shoulder. "It's not your fault. Stop apologizing."

"Sorry…" Shinji replied automatically before he could stop himself.

Asuka sighed and elbowed him in the ribs. "Stop that. It won't work this time."

The blue-eyed boy frowned and looked down at the girl's lovely face. "Ah… Asuka-chan. What we just did… it was a mis-"

"If you finish that sentence, I _will_ kill you." The German girl warned seriously.

The third child coughed nervously and wrapped his arm around the girl beside him, enjoying the closeness. He wished things didn't have to be so complicated with her and that she didn't want more than he could give her. _'Even though a certain part of me seems to have a mind of its own… damn it. First I slap the poor girl and then I take advantage of her. I'm such a pathetic wretch. All I'm doing is confusing her. I'm so dishonest, even with myself… such a sneaky pathetic wretch. I'm away from Rei-chan for one day and already I'm cheating on her. I don't deserve her. I hate myself.'_ He thought bitterly.

The red-haired girl elbowed the boy in the ribs as she noticed him wallowing in self-pity. "Hey… don't feel bad. It was pretty sexy while it lasted."

The young Ikari sighed and rested his forehead on his hand. "I'm so fucked up." He bemoaned.

Asuka snorted. "Waah. I have two hot girls that adore me. And they want to do fun things with me… and sexy things too. I'm such an unfortunate little boy. Waah waah waah." She elbowed him in the ribs again and grinned.

A smile touched the young Ikari's lips at the girl's good-natured teasing. "All right, stop reminding me how I'm much luckier than I should be."

"Shinji-kun, you don't deserve me." The blue-eyed girl informed him seriously.

"I know." Shinji agreed gloomily.

The German pilot elbowed him in the ribs again. "So stop whining about it and make yourself worthy. I can't do all the work, no matter how great I am."

A frown touched the third child's lips. _'I just fell into a trap again, damn it.'_ He thought bitterly. "Asuka-chan… you deserve more than that. You deserve someone of your own. I just… I'm not…" He trailed off. He couldn't even think of the words to use, but he felt like he had to say something, profound, if possible. "You deserve someone that can make you… happy."

"You _do_ make me happy, idiot." Asuka stated firmly. "Is it so hard to believe that you're a nice guy?"

"But I'm **_not_** a nice guy! A nice guy wouldn't have sex with another girl when he was already courting a girl as special and wonderful as Rei! No matter how exciting and beautiful that other girl may be. I'm a wretch and nothing you say will change that." The young Ikari protested, falling back into his pit of self-deprecation.

The second child snorted in disgust. "Erzähle mir nicht so einen Mist! (Don't give/tell me that shit!) If you don't want to do anything sexy with me, that's fine. I'm not forcing you. You're already going well beyond just what a good friend would do for a crazy mixed-up bitch like me. And I'm grateful for it. I would probably be locked away with the key thrown out by now if it weren't for you. But you have to start being honest with yourself. You're not the undeserving wretch you think you are. And you don't want to be intimate with me just because I'm beautiful and exciting, but because you genuinely care about me. You love Rei, whether you admit it or not, but showing me affection doesn't change that."

"But it tarnishes it." Shinji blurted. The moment the words escaped his lips a horrified look crossed his face as he realized the implications of it and his hand shot up to cover his mouth, but it was too late.

"So I tarnish you and your feelings for Rei? Is that it? I dirty you? I'm a filthy whore now?" The German girl asked in a dangerously grave tone that sent chills up the third child's spine.

"That's not… I didn't mean… no! I'm… Asuka-chan… I…" The blue-eyed boy was in a panic and couldn't form a coherent thought, let alone sentence.

Asuka took a deep breath. "Shinji, I'm about to hit you. And I'm afraid once I start hitting you, I won't be able to stop. I suggest you come up with a way to avoid hospitalization or death in the next few seconds, because I'd hate to have to explain to Rei-chan why her boyfriend is paralyzed."

'_Oh shit, she's serious. If I run away… can I outrun her until we reach the next stop so I can get away? She's raising her fist, oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit… I know!'_ Thinking as quickly as his panic-stricken mind allowed, he grabbed the girl's cheeks in a similar way that she had done to him on various occasions and planted a kiss firmly on her lips. He figured it worked on him, so he desperately hoped it had the same effect on her.

The red-haired spitfire raised her fist then dropped it uncertainly. She had expected him to start a string of apologies that would only exasperate her further, but this was unexpected. After holding the kiss, and his breath, for as long as he could, the boy backed away and searched the girl's royal blue eyes for her reaction. She raised an eyebrow. "Ok, that bought you a reprieve. Now you can begin explaining how I'm not sullying you."

Shinji let out the breath he had been holding for what now seemed an eternity and felt faint. "I didn't mean it that way. You are not dirtying me. I'm the dirty one. If I were a better person, I would have just been flattered by your attention but not shown any interest. You would have found someone that deserved you that could make you happy while I focused fully on making Rei-chan feel as special as she is. I wouldn't be sitting here thinking about how many condoms in that box we could go through Rei comes back from headquarters. I'm a horrible person and you deserve better. I can't think of any way to say it other than that."

"Eight." Asuka stated rather ambiguously.

The young Ikari blinked several times rapidly. That was not the response he expected and it made no sense to him. He proceeded to vocalize his deeply introspective and analytical thoughts. "Huh?" Ok, so it wasn't all that deep, or really analytical. Or introspective, for that matter.

"I think we could go through eight condoms." The second child elaborated.

The blue-eyed boy stared at the girl until her words sunk in. "I said all that and that's your reply?"

The German girl nodded. "Yes. The rest was so idiotic that it didn't deserve a reply. All it boiled down to was 'Waah. Nobody showed me any love growing up and now I don't know what to do with it when two girls that adore me try to show it. Waah!' And then of course, the part about the condoms."

The third child stared at the other pilot blankly for so long that his eyes dried out and he had to blink several times rapidly to compensate for it. Then a strange snorting sound issued forth from him, followed by several more rapid guttural snorts. Finally, his mouth opened and a laugh forced its way out. Moments later he was laughing so hard that he couldn't breathe and his ribs, which were still sore from the flogging he received earlier, began to ache. It was the most carefree he had ever felt in his life, and it felt good. The girl gave him an amused smile, obviously enjoying his appreciation of her humor. Finally he wiped the tears that had formed in his eyes out and looked out the window of the train. "Oops, we missed our stop." He observed.

"I know." Asuka replied with a nod. "I didn't want to interrupt your laughter. We can walk from the next stop, it's no problem."

The young Ikari nodded and leaned back, occasionally letting a chuckle slip out as he tried to compose himself. He turned his head to look at the lovely young girl beside him out of the corner of his eye. "Ah… so it's really all right with you if we don't have sex?"

"Oh, hell no. I'm going to tie you up and have my way with you when we get home." The second child responded mock-seriously.

Shinji's mouth dropped open in surprise while another part of his body let it be known that it felt that was a good idea. "I… ah… we don't have any rope…"

"That's what bed sheets are for, Dummchen." The blue-eyed girl responded.

The third child blinked rapidly as his mind tried to process what his body already understood. "Oh." was all he could come up with in reply.

"You're taking me seriously, aren't you?" Asuka inquired with an amused smirk.

"What? No… I… ah… that is… ah…" The blue-eyed boy tried to think of something witty to say. "Um… we probably couldn't go through eight. I mean… Misato-san will be home soon and she's going to be pretty tired from all that work so we'd have to keep it down."

The second child nodded. "You're probably right. And I'm probably over-estimating your stamina, Mr. 'My tongue is getting tired.' Three, perhaps."

"Well, I don't talk a lot so my tongue isn't accustomed to all that work. But I think I'd have more stamina in… what am I saying? Ah… the next stop is coming up." Shinji blushed and gathered up the bags.

"Your tongue doesn't get much of a workout but other areas do, is that what you're saying?" The blue-eyed girl teased.

"Here's our stop. It shouldn't take much longer to walk from here than our usual stop…" The young Ikari stated, trying desperately to stop his cheeks from burning.

"Ja, I don't think it'll tax our stamina too much more from here. Even if your legs don't get quite the workout that other body parts do." Asuka continued her tease.

'_I'm never going to live that down now.'_ The third child bemoaned to himself, hanging his head in shame.

"You are so adorable. Clueless, but adorable." The German girl shook her head and chuckled softly. She hoped that the boy's thoughts were now turned away from his self-pity because cheering others up was hardly a strength of hers, as it was unfamiliar territory for her.

They walked home in silence, Asuka humming a tune to herself with her head held high while Shinji stared at the ground, looking very much like a lost puppy. Soon enough they were at home and were playing video games. "Watch out for that dog! He ran behind the church." The second child stated, pointing at the screen as she yelled out excitedly.

"There's another one? Ah! Crap there he is. That's one fast puppy… damn it needs to let go of my throat now." The third child grumbled, mashing the buttons on his controller to try to wiggle out of the dog's bite. "Ah crap there's _another_ one. That's it; I'm getting the shotgun out."

"But you only have eight shells left! What if a boss fight is coming up? Run back and toss a grenade." The red-haired girl advised.

"Damn, they're too fast! I can't get any distance! Aw… damn it. Ew… it just tore my throat out." The blue-eyed boy complained as the big bloody 'You have died' message popped up while the dogs were shown making a bloody mess of his character on the screen.

"Ach, if only you had petted them more. Man's best friend, indeed." Asuka joked.

Shinji shrugged and offered the controller to the girl beside him. "You want to give it a try?"

"Ja, sure." The German girl nodded and took the controller and hit continue. She ran the character forward until three dogs jumped out after her and immediately had the guy turn and run away, and then turn back and he tossed a grenade, turned and ran again. After it detonated, she turned the character back around and three dead mutant dogs were on the ground. "So einfach ist das! (It's as simple as that!)" She exclaimed proudly, moving on with the game.

"Well… you knew they were coming. I didn't." The young Ikari grumbled. He caught the look she gave him out of the corner of her eye and hastily added to his statement. "Well done, though. You timed that perfectly."

"Danke schön, mein Freund. (Thank you very much, my friend.)" The young spitfire nodded. A few moments later she was frowning. "Ach, a puzzle. Am I just supposed to try random combinations here?"

The third child looked at the screen and scratched his head. "Ah… oh I think you're supposed to make that symbol in the middle. So they must combine somehow to make it… try turning the green one… oh see how those things there match up? Now the blue…"

"Oh, I see it!" The auburn-tressed beauty exclaimed. After a minute or so, she had the puzzle solved. "If that bitch isn't in here, I'm finding that Spanish prick and strangling him. Ah, there she is. Now I have to cart her sorry butt around and she doesn't even have a weapon? Is she too good to use a gun or something? I think I should let the zombies eat her."

Shinji chuckled. "Oh, it's that robed asshole. He kind of reminds me of someone…"

"Your father." The second child responded.

The young Ikari blushed. "Ah, no… uh… it must be someone else."

"Someone like your father." Asuka agreed. "Manipulative, controlling, arrogant…"

"Asuka-chan…" The third child groaned and slapped his hand to his forehead.

"Hey, they made this game like ten years ago, right? Maybe the designers based him on your father." The blue-eyed girl teased.

Shinji sighed and leaned over to press his lips to the girl's. He didn't know any other way to get her to shut up. He blushed after a few moments and pulled away after he heard the soft 'mmm' sound come from her. "Ah… sorry."

"For what?" The red-haired girl inquired in her best impersonation of Rei.

"You got killed by that villager guy while I was kissing you. I guess I should have warned you or something." He admitted with a bashful shrug.

"Fuck the game." Asuka stated, setting the controller down and climbing into the boy's lap. "This one is more fun…" She pressed her lips to the boy's, not giving him time to protest.

"I'm home!" Misato called as she entered her apartment, sounding almost as exhausted as she was.

The second child quickly plopped back onto the couch and picked up the controller again as she blushed.

"Ah… welcome home, Misato-san!" Shinji called, curious as to why the German girl didn't call out a greeting. _'Misato has great timing. I almost… damn it!'_

'_Misato has some shitty timing. We almost… damn it!'_ The blue-eyed girl's thoughts mirrored the boys but in frustration rather than relief.

"I'm beyond tired so keep it down, you two. Ok?" The major requested, making a beeline for the refrigerator to have a beer before she passed out.

Asuka pressed her finger to her mouth for a moment and then swallowed. "You bit my tongue." She complained softly to the boy beside her, elbowing him in his already bruised ribs. As the purple-haired beauty was making her way towards her room, the girl decided to have some revenge. "Misato-san, Shinji-kun wants to molest you in your sleep."

"That's fine, as long as he doesn't wake me up." Misato replied tiredly, walking into her bedroom without batting an eye.

Shinji's mouth and eyes were wide open in shock. "Wha… why did you say that? What if she wasn't too tired to comprehend what you just said?"

The major suddenly walked back out from her room. "Shin-chan, can you give me a back massage? I've got a kink in my back and I don't know if I'll be able to sleep with it, and I desperately need to sleep…"

The young Ikari's face turned beet red. "Ah… sure. Of course. Definitely. I'd be glad to, Misato-san!" He gushed nervously.

Asuka groaned and slapped her forehead. "Nie im Leben! (No way!) Not another melon-chaser!" She grumbled. A frown formed on her lips as she heard soft groans of pained pleasure coming from the older woman after the third child went in there. She picked up the controller and tried to get back into the game but she was getting distracted as the moans continued. "Verdammt! (Damn!) What are they doing in there!" She grumbled in frustration. She grew more and more upset as the minutes ticked by.

Over half an hour later, the boy trudged out of the major's bedroom with a flushed face. "Ah… I'll be back in a few minutes." He stated anxiously as he scuttled into the washroom.

"Was zum Teufel? (What the hell?)" The German girl cried. Suspicion crept over her as she wondered if he was wanking himself in the wash closet, or worse… washing away the evidence of his misdeeds. "Maybe **_I_** should have asked for a back massage. If that woman got to him, I swear I'll…" She trailed off, forcing herself to calm down because she was moments away from having a violent outburst that would no doubt cause her pilot status to be revoked, and possibly her freedom in the outside world. "Calm down… calm down… shut _up_, mother…" She spat out bitterly.

Shinji walked out a few minutes later, looking remarkably more relaxed. "Ah, sorry about the wait. Do you want to watch a movie?" He asked with a friendly smile.

The second child stared at him, feeling betrayed though she wasn't sure why. Whether he just had hot passionate sex with the older woman or felt the need to relieve his frustrations himself afterwards, either way, it was a blatant slap in the face that said she wasn't good enough for him. "Blödes Arschloch! Ist sie ein guter Fick! (Stupid asshole! Is she a good fuck!)" She demanded, shaking in rage. "Ein nettes Betthäschen! (A good lay… literally a bed-rabbit)"

The blue-eyed boy cringed away, frightened by the girl's display of rage. _'What the hell did I do **this** time?'_ He wondered. "Asuka-chan… you know I can't understand you when you speak German…"

Asuka took a deep breath and raised both hands up to rub the bridge of her nose, looking rather like the age-old prayer pose in a strange sort of way. "You just had sex with Misato, didn't you?" She asked a little more calmly.

The third child's mouth dropped open in shock and horror and he shook his head, dumbfounded by the accusation. "What? No! I just gave her a massage. It took a while to work out all the sore muscles, that's all. Even if she wanted to, and I doubt she's ever even entertained the idea in her drunkest moments, do you really think she'd seduce me when she was that damn tired!"

The German girl hissed in frustration. "Don't lie to me! What was all that moaning and groaning if you weren't screwing her?"

Shinji blushed and glanced away nervously. "I don't know. She was just… vocal while I was massaging her. Her back was really tense. I had to use my elbows to loosen them up."

The second child frowned. She was willing to believe him, but she didn't think it was the full truth. "Then what were you doing in the wash room?"

The boy's blush deepened, giving the girl all the answer she needed. "Ah… well that was… ah… after hearing all that… don't make me answer that question, please!" The young Ikari pleaded.

Tears started dripping out of the girl's eyes, but she didn't notice them. "I was right here… but you went in there and wanked off rather than come to me. Do you realize how that makes me feel?" Asuka demanded.

"But…" The third child backed a step away apprehensively because of the dangerous glare she was giving him. "I care about you, Asuka-chan. That's why I can't use you like that. And you know how I feel about Rei-chan… whether she gives me permission to sleep with other girls or not, I can't do that to her. Don't punish me for being a good boyfriend to her."

The red-haired girl frowned, feeling guilty now. "I… I'm sorry. I guess I am being unreasonable." The guilt didn't last, however. "No wait, fuck that! I'm not being unreasonable! All I wanted was a little love… but you hide behind excuses because of the simple fact that you don't consider me worthy of your affection. Maybe you're right to. I _have_ treated you poorly in the past, but I thought we were past that… I've tried to keep my temper under control. I've been going to therapy. I've been taking those god-damned pills… I've endured the stares of those people at NERV who act like I'm about to go nuts and kill everyone! All I wanted was to feel special and loved before I died. What do I get instead? Rejection, which you flushed down the toilet instead of _soiling_ yourself on me. No, I'm not being unreasonable at all." She turned away, feeling ashamed now that she felt the hot wetness on her cheeks and realized she was crying. _'Crying again… I have no resolve at all.'_

Shinji stared at the girl's back in awe. "What? I didn't… you… I… we… wait… what do you mean before you die?"

"Idiot." The German girl grumbled, shaking her head without looking at him.

Fear clutched at the young Ikari's heart as he approached the girl carefully, reaching out to touch her as he hoped it wouldn't startle or anger her. She only stiffened slightly so he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close from behind. "What… did you mean? Is there… something I should know?"

"Consider the last few angels, Shinji-kun. They've been getting more and more powerful. The one that _raped my mind_ attacked from orbit. If Rei hadn't used that Lance thing, we'd probably all be dead now. But we couldn't recover the Lance. What if the next angel attacks from orbit as well? Or think of the last angel. Nothing that was done to it had any effect. Rei had to destroy her Eva and nearly died to defeat it. Our chances of dying in the next attack are pretty fucking high. And you _know_ they're going to send me in first. They won't use Unit-01 unless they have to because they know they can't control it. So that means if someone dies, it'll be **_me_**. I accepted that as a risk when I signed on as an Eva pilot…" Asuka trailed off and sighed. "I just have a terrible feeling in my heart… I just know I'm not going to survive. Is it so bad or selfish that I don't want to die a virgin who's never felt loved in her life?"

The third child felt anxiety choking him. He rarely heard the German spitfire speak with such grim certainty and it scared the crap out him. "Asuka-chan… don't talk that way. Don't talk like you're going to die, it's too sad! You're a better pilot than me… you know you're the best! And I won't let you die… I'll be backing you up."

The blue-eyed girl sighed and shook her head. "Disgusting." She spat out, though she didn't elaborate as to whether she meant her own behavior or his attempts to console her. "I'm going for a walk before it gets dark. I really don't want to look at you right now." Perhaps she did elaborate a little bit, actually.

Shinji let her go and stared at the ground in shame as she walked out. "I'm sorry." He muttered to the door after it closed.

* * *

Rei stepped into Dr. Akagi's cell and stared at her. "Ritsuko." She stated stiffly, to alert the woman to her presence.

"R- ah… Ayanami-san. I'm surprised you came." The blonde stated, turning her head to look at the pale girl visiting her.

"Why?" The blue-haired angel inquired softly.

Unlike some people, she was accustomed to the way the clone spoke, so she knew the girl wasn't asking why she was surprised, but why she did what she did. "I did it in revenge upon you. I was angry."

"You dishonored yourself and murdered children." The red-eyed girl stated flatly.

"Yes." Ritsuko acknowledged the statement with a nod.

"You murdered _me_." Rei stated with a touch of anger in her voice.

"Yes." Dr. Akagi stated again, not arguing with her.

The young Ayanami was silent for several minutes and then spoke again, the anger still in her tone. "Why?"

"I wanted **_his_** love, but he never gave it to me. All he cared about was you. _You_ were first in his life. _You_ were the special one. _You_ were the one he loved. And so I hate you. I hate you so much that I tried to kill you. I hate you with so much passion that I murdered all your soulless clones with a simple press of a button." Ritsuko replied with a disturbing amount of calmness.

"You are incorrect. He has never loved me. Nor has he ever treated me any differently than any other pilot. In fact, he treats Ikari-kun with more kindness than he does me." The first child stated, a touch of sadness in her voice.

Dr. Akagi snorted. "Gendo doesn't treat Shinji kindly at all." Confusion passed over her features as she realized what that meant. "I see. So we are both simply victims of him. You realize that he is monitoring this conversation, don't you?"

"Yes." The blue-haired girl responded simply.

"Are you here to kill me?" Ritsuko inquired, looking up at the red-eyed angel with her own blank white eyes.

"No. I shall give you the chance that you did not give to my sisters. You will do three things. First, you will prepare the MAGI system to prevent it from being hacked by other computers. Other MAGI systems, in particular. Second, you shall teach Ibuki-taii anything she needs to know to prevent and combat any such attempts at hacking, and anything else she needs to know to take your place." Rei informed her.

Dr. Akagi made a thoughtful noise. "And the third?"

The first child glanced at the surveillance camera for a moment, causing a puff of smoke to be emitted from it as she employed her AT-field on it. Then she pulled a knife out and dropped it at the doctor's feet. "One of us will die."

The blonde woman looked down at the knife for a few moments then raised her blank gaze up to stare at the angel before her. "What if I just killed you now?"

"You would die without honor." The first child responded evenly.

Ritsuko snorted. "I'm a scientist. What do I care about honor?"

"Then kill me. The knife is in your possession." The blue-haired girl stated without a trace of fear in her voice.

Dr. Akagi stared into the girl's crimson eyes silently.

"I will see you one last time before the end, then. Goodbye, Ritsuko." Rei turned around and left without a glance back.

The doctor sighed and picked the knife up and stared at it before hiding the sheathed blade underneath her blouse, tucked into her skirt. "One of us will die. Hmph… why am I not surprised?" She walked out of the cell, not even acknowledging the security detail that scowled at her as she walked towards the control room to begin work on the MAGI system, knowing that Maya was also likely to be there.

* * *

The plot thickens! Or something. Next chapter: The final angel attack. And everything changes. Angst, despair, guilt, anger, betrayal and lots of other neat stuff! That's what you have to look forward to in the next few chapters. Bwahahaha! Until then… na razie! 


	33. Two for Tragedy

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: I live again! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hack, cough

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 33: Two for Tragedy

Maya Ibuki was walking around the NERV facility, stretching her legs and clearing her mind. She had been working on the MAGI systems with Ritsuko Akagi for most of the day and part of the night already and needed a break, both from the work and from just being around the doctor. She just didn't know what to say to the woman now, knowing what horrible things she had done.

The captain exited the facility out onto the surface of the GeoFront and smiled sadly as she regarded Kaji's melon garden. "Looks like they could use some water." She remarked to herself as she glanced around and spotted the spy's watering can. "Hmm… already has water in it. I wonder if he had asked anyone to tend his garden? Katsuragi-san, maybe?"

"I do not know, Ibuki-taii." Came a soft reply behind her.

"**OH!** Oh… Rei-chan, you startled me. Were you here visiting the commander?" The computer geek inquired, resting a hand on her chest over her thumping heart.

Rei blinked a few times and turned her gaze towards the garden, silently observing the watering process. "I am here on an assignment. Commander Ikari ordered me to take a break and walk around. Apparently the air is not fresh enough in his office."

Maya's eyes narrowed slightly for a few moments in confusion before understanding dawned on her. "Oh… he told you to get some fresh air. I understand. This is a good place for that. Had you ever seen Kaji-san's melon garden before?"

"I had not." The first child replied flatly.

The young captain nodded as she set the watering can down, satisfied that the melons at least had enough water to continue living, though she was unsure of how much water was good for them so she didn't want to overdo it. "So how have you been, Rei-chan?" She inquired, giving the young former pilot a friendly smile.

"No problems to report, Ibuki-taii." The blue-haired girl replied automatically.

"Rei-chan… I've told you before to call me Maya." The brunette reminded the girl gently with a pleasant smile on her lips.

"Maya-san." Rei corrected herself. She was silent for several moments as she regarded the older woman and then spoke. "How does one woman become one with another?"

Maya blushed as she blinked rapidly in surprise. "Wha… what?"

"How does one woman have sexual intercourse with another woman?" The first child elaborated bluntly.

The captain's blush darkened as she looked away nervously. "Why… are you asking me?"

"You have told me that I could ask you anything. It is my understanding that you have some knowledge of this matter. Who should I ask instead?" The red-eyed angel asked, tilting her head slightly to the side in curiosity.

'_Does **everyone** know that I'm into girls?!'_ The young Ibuki wondered as her cheeks did their best to collect every spare drop of blood in her body within them. "Who… did you hear this from?" She asked nervously. '_Please don't say Commander Ikari... please don't say Commander Ikari…'_

"Katsuragi-shousa asked me how you were in bed. Apparently you informed her that we have had sexual intercourse." Rei deadpanned.

'_Oh god, that's even worse!!!'_ Maya thought in horror. "Ah… well… that was… ah… she knew I had slept with one of the pilots and she assumed it was you… and ah… I didn't correct her… I'm so sorry!"

The blue-haired girl was silent for a few moments before responding. "I do not mind, Maya-san. I did not correct her on the matter. I assumed you had sufficient reason to inform the major of your sexual desire for me. You still have not answered my question."

"Rei-chan… are you asking me to have sex with you?" The captain asked in surprise, looking up from her hands that she had buried her face in.

"I asked how one woman has sexual intercourse with another woman. I understand the mechanics of sexual intercourse between a man and a woman and have experienced this first hand. However, I am unclear how one woman has a satisfactory sexual experience with another woman. Please explain it to me." The first child requested in what could disturbingly be considered an innocent tone.

"Wow… when I told you that you could ask me anything… I always assumed you would ask me about… you know… feminine hygiene or… computer games… or… you know… non-specific sex stuff." The young Ibuki stated, sitting down to order her thoughts. "Ah… it would help if I knew what sort of experience you have… with another girl, I mean. I assume you're not asking me this without reason."

"I have kissed Soryu-chan numerous times. We caressed each other's breasts once. She has more than once placed her hand on my thigh, I believe with the desire to touch me elsewhere. However, I believe she is also unsure of how to proceed." Rei informed her a moment after sitting down next to the captain, assuming it was how the older woman wished to converse.

"You and Soryu-chan? Wow… I never pegged her for liking girls. But then, I never have been very good at figuring out what girls might possibly like other girls… specifically me." The computer geek remarked thoughtfully. She noticed the slight irritation that showed up in the young girl's eyes for a moment and realized she was waiting for an answer. "Ah… ok. I suggest you take it slow. Lots of kissing… let your hands explore… watch for signs that she enjoys certain places touched more than other places. Keep your touches gentle and brushing, unless she indicates a desire for more firm touching."

"And this will result in a satisfactory sexual encounter?" The first child asked doubtfully.

Maya shrugged. "Ah… no, that's just the start of it. Eventually you're going to want to touch each other… you know… between the legs. I can't believe we're talking about this…"

"But how? When I pleasured Shinji-kun in this manner, the process seemed rather simple. But I do not believe this to be the case with Asuka-chan…" Rei remarked, frowning slightly in thought.

Captain Ibuki rested her forehead in the palm of her hand and muttered "Oh boy…" She smiled pleasantly at the first child when the girl looked at her. "Ah… well try doing the same things to her that you like to do with yourself. That makes a good starting point… and then you can learn what else she likes and doesn't like as you go along."

The blue-haired girl stared at the captain blankly. "The things I do with myself? I don't understand how reading and playing my viola would lead to a satisfactory sexual experience with Asuka-chan."

'_Oh no… don't tell me she's never…'_ The captain thought nervously. "Ah… I mean when you… pleasure yourself." At the young pilot's blank stare, she inwardly groaned. "You've… never pleasured yourself, have you?"

"It seems more efficient to experience sexual gratification with another. I have never felt the desire to experience this alone." The red-eyed girl explained.

'_Don't offer to have sex with her to teach her… don't offer to have sex with her to teach her…'_ Maya thought to herself nervously. "Ah… I could always show you a few things, if you're ever interested." '_**WHAT?!** Are you insane, woman?! Are you just a big pervert?!'_

Rei considered that silently for a few long moments. "Perhaps someday. I am not ready to share this experience with you yet, Maya-san. Is there any other way you can think of to demonstrate techniques to me that do not require us to have a sexual experience at this time?"

The captain breathed a sigh of relief that the young pilot wasn't offended by her inappropriate offer. She considered the matter thoughtfully for a few moments. "Ah… well I do have some yuri manga that you might find informative. It's not often very graphic, though. Ah… oh! I have an idea." The computer geek gently lifted up the first child's hand with her palm downwards and her fingers pressed together but relaxed so they had a downward slope. "I could do this just with my hands but I think it would be more informative this way…"

The blue-haired beauty regarded her fingers curiously and then nodded, understanding what her fingers were to represent. "Proceed."

"Ok… see this is how I usually start…" Maya stated, brushing her fingers gently against the other girl's fingers, touching the fingers in various ways and watching the curious expressions playing out on the girl's features as she watched. Eventually one of her fingers moved past the barrier of two of the pilot's fingers and she demonstrated certain stroking techniques that she usually found to be appreciated. "A large part of how quickly you proceed and where you touch, of course, depends on the girl you're with."

Rei nodded. "I see. The fingers have a similar mechanism of action as an invasive penis, only with more finesse. Most intriguing."

'_Her pupils are dilating… she's getting aroused by this?'_ The captain observed. "Well, yes. That's one of the advantages of girls… we have these slender dexterous fingers that can touch these places like so. Your other fingers can play on the outside too… and you can insert more fingers if you like and your lover is ready for it. Another advantage of using your hand in this way is that you can kiss each other… or you can lick and suck on her breasts…"

The young Ayanami nodded, biting her bottom lip for a moment as she watched and felt the older woman's ministrations. "And this is how one woman has a sexual encounter with another?"

"Basically." Maya agreed. "You can also use your lips and tongue to pleasure each other there…"

"How so? Can you demonstrate that as well?" Rei inquired curiously, arching an eyebrow up slightly.

"I… suppose so." Captain Ibuki said nervously. '_Ok… like this wasn't weird enough already. I'm already getting too into this as it is!'_ She figured there wasn't any polite way to decline that request after everything else she had done, so she knelt down and gently kissed and licked Ayanami's fingers. She looked up at the girl and smugly noted that the girl looked intently interested, probably envisioning how it would feel or at least look against the real thing.

"Fascinating. Thank you, Maya-san, that was very informative." The first child stated, casually withdrawing her hand.

The captain blushed and sat back down, self-consciously scratching her elbow. "Ah… ok. Glad to help." '_So much for thinking she was getting into it. I'm a horrible person to have even been thinking about it… or demonstrating those techniques to begin with. She probably thinks I'm a slut…'_

"I must return to my assignment now. Thank you for your help, Maya-san." Rei stated, bowing slightly before turning to leave.

"Ah… Rei-chan. We should spend another day out soon. Or perhaps in? I have an extra television set that I was planning on giving you… perhaps we could play some video games together." Maya suggested. '_And maybe fool around some… no! Damn it… Stop thinking like that! I really need to get a girlfriend… this is getting ridiculous.'_

Ayanami raised an eyebrow, silently regarding the captain.

'_What is she… oh, right.'_ Captain Ibuki smiled at the girl. "Yes, that's an order."

A hint of a smile formed on the young pilot's lips and she nodded. "Hai."

'_Uh… what's she waiting on now?'_ Maya wondered. "Um… ok then. Take care of yourself, Rei-chan." The captain blinked several times, noticing the girl hadn't moved. '_Does… she want a kiss or something?'_ She coughed and was about to lean forward to see if a kiss was indeed what the girl wanted, but then she noticed her red eyes shift towards the exit for a moment before moving back to meet the captain's brown eyes. '_Oh! Stupid me, she's waiting for permission to leave. Stupid hormones.'_ "Ah, sorry. Dismissed, pilot Ayanami."

"Hai." Rei replied, walking back into the NERV facility and headed for the elevator.

The captain sighed and took one last look at the garden, taking a few moments to refill the water can for the next time or person who watered the melons and then froze when she noticed the security camera pointed down towards the garden. "Ah… oops. I hope you boys enjoyed the show." She squeaked out in embarrassment before hurrying back into the facility.

The computer geek felt her cheeks burning in embarrassment and frustrated arousal the entire elevator ride down to the command level. Soon enough she was back in the operations room where the blonde doctor was finishing up her work. Whether the woman even realized her assistant had taken a break or not wasn't apparent, but it was unlikely considering how silent they had both been during the process. She sat down and relaxed, letting her mind drift to the quiet blue-haired enigmatic beauty and attempting to keep her mind out of the gutter whilst doing so. That led her mind back to what her mentor had done to the poor girl as well as her clones, which darkened her mood again. Though she did feel attracted to the girl, when she really thought about it, she knew the majority of her feelings for the girl were protective and caring in nature, rather than romantic. It would be one of the brightest moments in her life if the young pilot began to think of _her_ as her senpai.

An hour or so later, Dr. Akagi wiped sweat from her brow after standing up from working on the MAGI systems. "That should do it. Run the test hacks on each of the MAGI from the other two."

"Yes, sensei." Maya replied, professional and cool with the doctor. She ran the test hacking program and stood up to get some coffee while the program was running.

"I… can get you some coffee, Maya-chan." Ritsuko offered, trying a gentle smile in hopes that it would brighten the young captain's mood.

"No thanks." The brunette replied curtly, pouring the drink herself. She then started walking around a little to stretch her legs while keeping her eye on the program running.

"Maya-chan… I'm sorry. I can't apologize enough for what I did to you…" The blonde doctor stated, feeling her heart breaking from knowing how much she hurt her young protégé.

Maya glared at the older woman. "You don't even understand why I'm angry with you. You think it's because of what you did to _me_? By what… asking me to help you? Yeah… that hurt, doctor. But it doesn't compare to what you did to Ayanami-chan. You _murdered_ her clones, Akagi-sensei. You tried to murder Ayanami-chan herself! I care about that girl, damn it. I care about her the same way you _use_ to care about me. I could handle your rejection… I could even handle it that you lied to me about Ayanami-chan threatening me. But the Akagi-sensei I fell in love with could _not_ have murdered children. I don't even know who you are anymore."

Ritsuko stared at the angry younger woman in astonishment. "Love? Is that what all that asking me out business was about? I thought you were just showing me pity. You were serious?"

Captain Ibuki hissed in frustration. "That's not the point! Yes, I loved you. I probably even wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, you stupid idiot! Even if it was just as your friend. But you are not the woman I loved. Even if you're here now for penance, it doesn't matter. I can't forgive you, doctor. What you did is beyond forgiveness."

Dr. Akagi sighed and lowered her head sadly. "I'm sorry to hear that, Maya-chan."

"Don't call me that anymore. You lost that right the moment you wrapped that cord around Ayanami-chan's neck." The young captain stated, turning away from the doctor and struggling not to sob as hot tears spilled out of her eyes.

Ritsuko nodded and set a disk she had prepared down. "This is everything I could think of that you would need to know to take over my job completely. There're also some suggestions for what to do in case there are any attacks on this base after the last angel is dealt with. I'm not sure why Ayanami seems to think that the MAGI would be involved, but she asked us to make preparations, so we did. Maya-ch… ah… Ibuki-san… I'm sorry. Take care of yourself, please." She paused at the door and glanced back at her former pupil. "Do you think that… you will ever forgive me?"

Captain Ibuki sniffed and turned her head slightly back towards the doctor. "I love you. That won't change." She stated. A moment after the happy relief started lighting up the doctor's face, however, she continued. "But I no longer have hope for you. I will remember how you use to be fondly. Sayonara, Akagi-san."

Ritsuko lowered her crestfallen eyes, gazing at the floor as heaviness settled back over her heart. "Hai… sayonara, Ibuki-san." The doctor left and stayed in her office, knowing that soon Rei would come to settle up with her. She was looking forward to that now.

Back in the control room, Maya lowered her face into her palms and sobbed, not even caring if either of the commanders were up in the observation deck or that someone might come in.

* * *

Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki took a few moments to yawn, stretch and scratch himself in various places before he stepped out of his office, where he had slept on his couch all night. Lately, he tended to sleep there more often than his bed at home, but he didn't complain. Before he stepped out of his office, he looked into the mirror and took the time to straighten his appearance, losing all evidence that he had been asleep at all. The half-asleep slightly grumpy professor was replaced with the cool, calm and collected Vice-Commander before he opened his door.

Kōzō frowned as he noticed the young Ayanami staring down at various maps and readouts, the same thing she had been doing when he went to sleep late the previous night. "Ayanami-chan… you didn't stay up all night, did you?"

Rei looked up and the barest hint of a smile played out on her lips before the expression dropped to her normal neutrality. "No sir. I awoke an hour ago."

Had she been anyone else, the professor would have assumed she was lying, that she had indeed been up all night and was simply trying to prevent him from worrying. But this was Ayanami and he knew she did not lie. And even if she had started, she wouldn't lie about something as simple as that. "Ikari-kun and Soryu-chan should be here soon." He stated to remind her, in case she had forgotten. It wasn't likely that she would forget that they were coming, it was simply more likely that she wouldn't realize that time was already approaching.

"Yes sir." The red-eyed girl agreed, not even looking up from the papers.

"Ayanami-chan, take a break. An important part of learning is rest." The Vice-Commander stated with a slight smile on his lips. While he was still teaching, he loved students like her… ones that were focused and loved the learning and thinking, it was them that he usually had to remind to rest and take it easy. His other students, however, had the opposite problem.

"Yes sir." Rei replied, sitting back further in her seat and lifting her gaze up to the former professor.

Fuyutsuki smiled gently at her and poured a cup of tea for her. "So tell me, Ayanami-chan… how are things with Ikari-kun and Soryu-chan?"

A slight smile came to the girl's lips as she thought of the two people dearest to her heart. "No problems to report."

Kōzō nodded. He knew the first child well enough to know that the words she said meant little, but the light in her eyes, the shifts in her body language and the touch of a smile on her lips meant she had never been happier. "I hear you've been playing some games with them? Some ah… what do you call them…" The professor wiggled his fingers in an approximation of holding a video game controller.

"Yes sir. Shinji-kun was playing this game a few days ago that was fascin-" The first child spoke with a smile on her lips as her eyes lit up as she related the fun experience. But then the door opened and Gendo Ikari walked in.

Rei's brief joyful expression dropped into its normal serious one as the commander was speaking as he walked into the door. "Ikari-kun and Soryu-chan have just entered the facility. Let's go meet them at the elevator."

The professor sighed and shook his head slightly as he fell into step behind the commander and the first child. '_Gendo, you would have given your right foot to see Rei-chan opening up like that. Too bad you missed it.'_

"How are you coming on memorizing that material, Rei?" Gendo inquired without looking down at the quiet girl.

"I am making sufficient progress, sir." The former pilot replied.

"I see. That's fine." Commander Ikari replied simply, falling into silence afterwards.

The blue-haired girl turned her head slightly to look at the man walking beside her for a few moments but then fixed her gaze ahead, her disappointment masked behind her stoic expression.

After they entered the elevator and took it up to the highest level, it opened up to Shinji and Asuka. They both blinked in surprise at seeing the people they were to meet waiting for them and the third child scratched the back of his head nervously. "Ah… good morning." He greeted, vainly hoping that his pleasantries would be returned.

"Get in, we don't have all day, Shinji." Gendo stated gruffly.

"Oh! Sorry." The blue-eyed boy blushed and stepped into the elevator, followed a moment later by the German spitfire.

"We're not going to the cafeteria?" Asuka inquired, noticing that one of the lower levels was selected instead by the grim commander. '_Scheiße, they said breakfast so we didn't eat before coming over here. I'm so hungry, I could eat a whole pig by myself!'_ The second child thought. She cast a furtive glance towards the young Ikari, but then her eyes drifted down towards the ground.

"We have a private recreation room, we often eat there instead of the cafeteria." The vice-commander replied since the elder Ikari remained silent.

Rei frowned slightly as she noticed the body language of her fellow pilots and fixed her steady gaze on the second child. Something seemed… wrong, but she couldn't quite place it. "Asuka-chan… are you feeling well this morning?" She finally inquired.

Nearly everyone in the elevator turned a surprised eye towards the first child. The blue-eyed girl, however, simply shrugged and stared at the ground. "I'm ok." She replied softly.

The former pilot of Unit 00 turned her gaze onto Shinji, a touch of a frown fixed on her lips. Only those that knew Rei the best could see the anger in the girl's eyes. She kept silent until they reached after the elevator opened up and they exited it. "We shall join you in a few minutes. I wish to speak to Ikari-kun." Rei stated softly. She walked towards one of the storage rooms where they could have some privacy.

Shinji blinked in surprise and cowered slightly under the stern glare of his father and followed the girl as quickly as he could.

"Gee, thanks a lot. Leave me with these scary old men." Asuka griped softly.

"What was that, Pilot Soryu?" Professor Fuyutsuki inquired, even though he heard what she said.

"Ah… I said I wonder what's for breakfast…" The second child smiled brightly, hiding her nervousness well.

Gendo frowned towards the supply room for a few moments, but then turned to enter the recreation room, followed a moment later by the vice-commander.

"Scaaaaary." Asuka muttered as she followed them.

"Should we be concerned, old friend?" Kōzō inquired discretely while the second child was busy investigating the room.

"No. She won't hurt him. He may wish she had, however." Commander Ikari replied, sitting down a moment later to bridge his fingers and glare at the petite German girl who was tapping on an aquarium containing some fish.

Meanwhile, in the storage room, Shinji smiled at Rei and stepped closer to her, stretching his arms out, intending to hug her. The quiet first child took a step back and frowned in disapproval. "Rei-chan? Is something… wrong?" The boy asked. He was almost sure she had wanted at least a hug and a kiss. A small part of him had also been holding out hope that she wanted a quickie before breakfast. Those hopes were now dashed.

"Ikari-san… Asuka-chan looked… upset. Explain." Rei demanded, though her voice barely rose above its normal quiet whisper.

The third child coughed and glanced away. "Ah… well, she's angry with me."

"Why?" The red-eyed girl inquired. She already knew that much. She could tell that a shroud of sadness and anger was hanging over the other girl's heart, but she couldn't understand why. However, it was obvious that Shinji was the cause of it.

The young Ikari blushed and scuffed his foot against the ground nervously. "Ah… well… that's ah…" He coughed and stared at the ground, however his girlfriend remained silent, waiting for his reply. "She… wanted to have… sex. With me."

Rei waited for over a minute, but it became obvious that it was all he was going to say without prompting. "So?" She finally said.

Shinji sighed and averted his gaze from hers, feeling shamed but he wasn't sure why. "I said no and she took it badly."

"I don't understand." The first child stated. She knew that some time after she left that they had done something… the happiness she and Kaoru had both felt from the girl confirmed that. But now it was as if all the hope had been drained out of the red-haired beauty. "Why did you reject her?"

The young Ikari shifted his eyes up to look at his beloved. He still couldn't understand why the girl seemed to want him to have sex with another girl. In fact, she almost seemed to be insisting on it. He wondered just what kind of fucked up morals his father had taught the girl, where she not only would consider such a thing to be normal, but desired. "Rei-chan… boyfriends aren't supposed to cheat on their girlfriends. You're only supposed to have sex with your lover, not just any girl that comes along."

The blue-haired beauty glanced in the general direction of the second child. "Asuka-chan is not just any girl. She is in my heart, and she is in your heart as well. You don't even realize what you have done by rejecting her. Can you not feel the grief choking her heart? Are you blind to her pain? What kind of man are you, Ikari?"

"A loyal one, damn it!" Shinji cried. He was tired of being treated like the bad guy for doing the right thing. "You think I don't _want_ to have sex with her? You think that I don't care about her very deeply? That I don't see the heartache I'm causing her by turning her down? It's breaking my heart too, but when a man commits to a girl he loves, he stands by that commitment! You say you know what's in my heart? You're not acting like it. It hurts me just as much as it does Asuka-chan when I have to tell her no, but I'll keep telling her no because you're the one I want. You're the one I chose and I don't care if you think it's ok for me to sleep around, because I don't. And I won't do it."

"Then perhaps you should not have led her to believe you would be one with her, Ikari. Though I do not understand your feelings on this matter, I can respect them as I respect you. But you broke her heart, and I cannot…" Rei stopped talking suddenly, closing her eyes for a moment as the anger receded from her psyche. A moment later she opened her eyes and saw the hurt on her lover's face. "Forgive me, it is not your fault. You did what you thought was right. I hope… you will not regret your choice." The girl bowed low for a few moments and then walked out without waiting for a reply.

The third child was baffled. It was the first time he had ever seen Rei angry since months before when he criticized his father and he felt ashamed to have disappointed her. But then she suddenly apologized and bowed… it left him wondering if there was something going on that he didn't know about. He realized she was still angry with him, but that she had apologized because society expected her to… the whole situation was giving him an ulcer.

After Shinji and Rei rejoined the others, they sat down to eat, with the commander's personal chef coming in to find out what everyone wanted to eat. Asuka leaned over and whispered into the first child's ear. "You guys don't look too happy to have just come back from a quickie…"

The red-eyed girl blinked in surprise and turned to regard the other girl. "We had words." She explained simply.

The second child nodded and looked away, feeling a little guilty. '_Damn it… I didn't want to come between them, but I get the feeling I have anyway.'_

Vice-commander Fuyutsuki frowned as he regarded the children, whom all looked as if their beloved pet dog had died. He leaned over to speak softly into Gendo's ear so he wasn't overheard. "I was under the impression that they were all happier lately."

For the first time that morning, Commander Ikari actually looked around at the young pilots and a frown crossed his face as he saw the distant and sad expressions on their faces. "This was _not_ in our scenario." He grumbled.

"How has your schooling been?" The professor asked the children in an attempt to start a conversation.

"The school closed when all the civilians evacuated, Vice-Commander." Shinji replied distantly, fiddling with a piece of negi (Welsh onion) floating around in his miso soup with his chopsticks.

"Oh… I see. That's too bad. You all must be growing quite restless. Perhaps we should add more testing to the schedule so you don't get bored." Vice-commander Fuyutsuki suggested.

Shinji and Asuka both snapped to attention, realizing they were in danger of having to spend more time sitting in LCL and getting their brains exhausted from the harmonics testing. "Ah, well that is… ah…" The third child began to try to protest.

"Excellent idea. You will both come every other day for harmonics testing." Commander Ikari announced.

"Oh… ah… yes sir." The blue-eyed boy stated sadly. "Ow! Ah… cramp. Sorry." He glared at Asuka who stuck her tongue out at him for getting them more experimentation time.

"And how has your therapy been, Pilot Soryu?" Kōzō inquired, fixing his gaze on the second child.

Asuka's eyes widened as she realized she was now the center of attention. "Ah… well. I'm doing very well, sir."

"Good, then you should be able to handle more responsibilities. Come up with a few possible angel scenarios as well as strategies to combat those threats. I'll be interested in your report." The professor stated with a friendly smile.

"Oh… yes sir." The red-haired girl replied as if she had just signed over her first born child.

Everyone fell into silence again. Gendo and Kōzō shared a look and then the elder Ikari spoke up again. "Perhaps you can both handle harmonics testing every day… and weapons training every other day."

The still-active pilots mouthed dropped open in shock as they contemplated that. "Wh… what?" Shinji finally managed to get out.

They all stared silently at each other, except for Rei, whom was still chewing on rice as if nothing were happening.

The commanders shared another look after the pilots faces dropped back down to their food, looking even more crestfallen than before. "Come to think of it, I think they could handle weapons training every day, as well as the harmonics training. It's not like they have anything else to occupy their time." Fuyutsuki stated.

Asuka jumped up to her feet in outrage and immediately looked mortified as everyone's eyes were on her. "Ah… um… sorry. I need to… use the bathroom." She hurried out before she said something she knew she would regret.

The third child looked even more stunned than the others, watching the girl leave as if he felt she was running out of his life for good. "Asuka-chan…" He murmured, feeling sad though he wasn't sure why.

"I will return shortly." Rei stated suddenly, standing up and moving quickly to follow the second child.

Shinji swallowed nervously and seemed to shrink in his chair under the disapproving glare of his father.

The second child rested her palms against the cold metal inside the same storage room that Shinji and Rei had talked in a short time before. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she tried to prevent the tears from falling from her eyes. A few moments later she picked up a chair and threw it into a wall, letting out a primal scream. She grabbed up another chair and smashed it through a cheap cardboard table, once used to hold refreshments for the scientists working on Project E. "Stupid bitch! Fucking brainless whore!" She screamed, unable to stop from crying now.

"Have I done something to offend you… Asuka-chan?" Rei's soft voice broke through the sobs of the second child.

"Ah!" The German girl jumped up in surprise, clutching her chest as she faced the quiet first child. "Rei-chan… no. Of course not." She sighed and stiffly wiped at her eyes, cursing herself for losing control again.

"It is not I that am the stupid bitch?" The blue-haired girl inquired, slowly approaching her fellow pilot.

Asuka snorted and shook her head. "No, silly. _I'm_ the stupid bitch."

The red-eyed girl frowned slightly and gently brushed some tear-stained hair away from the other girl's sparkling royal blue eyes. "Why?" She inquired in her trademark soft whisper.

"I thought… that I could be happy… with what little affection you and Shinji-kun showed me. The occasional hug and kiss… but it's not enough." The German girl replied.

"I don't understand. Were you not… one with Ikari? I felt a moment of joy… that was not from your heart?" Rei inquired carefully.

The second child blinked in surprise, trying to figure out what the girl knew and how she knew it. "Ah… he did a little something to me. He… pleasured me with his mouth. But he refused to actually 'be one' with me, as you say. Even though he almost did it several times… he said to do so would make him dirty."

Anger flashed in the girl's red eyes and she turned her gaze in the general direction of the young Ikari. "He said that?" She asked.

"Well… kind of. He backpedaled and claimed it was he that was the dirty one, but it still boiled down to the fact that he wouldn't have sex with me. Maybe it is for the best… I don't want to cause problems between you two. If he wants to move in with you… I'll stay behind in Misato-san's. I will… re-learn to sleep alone. It's not your concern." The red-haired spitfire offered in a rare moment of complete selflessness.

The first child turned her gaze back to the other pilot and brushed her fingers through the girl's long red hair. "Asuka-chan… if he is unwilling to be one with you, then it is his loss. I would be honored to be one with…" The girl stopped talking suddenly and her gaze whipped around to stare in the general direction of the Eva cages. "No! Not yet!" She whispered. But it was too late. The Angel-Alert klaxon blared to life. "Damn… Asuka-chan. Be strong. I am with you." Rei leaned forward and pressed her lips firmly against the second child's for a few moments and then pulled away. "Be strong." She repeated before moving quickly out to where the men were making haste towards the elevators. "Commander! A moment, please, sir."

Gendo stopped where he was and motioned for the pilots to go on ahead. "Soryu, launch immediately. Shinji, board Unit 01 and stand by." He ordered before the pilots took the elevator down to the Eva cages. "What is it, Rei?"

"Go ahead and start the cryo-unlock procedures on Unit 01. Trust me on this, please, commander." The first child requested as politely as she could.

"Rei, don't be a child. Your boyfriend's Eva will remain in cryo-lockdown unless Asuka's Eva is defeated. We can't risk…" The commander started scolding the girl.

"Commander, I have never asked you for anything before. I am asking you for this. Please." Rei begged in her normal soft voice, urgency in her eyes.

Commander Ikari was definitely surprised. Even if it was a childish wish for her boyfriend to be the hero, it was still unusual for the girl. "If Unit 01 berserks, pray that we can recover it with minimal damage, Rei." With that he and Fuyutsuki moved quickly down the passage leading to the observation deck.

Rei sighed and headed in the opposite direction, to the elevator leading to Central Dogma. It was time for her to wait by Lilith.

* * *

Kaoru Nagisa made his way silently through the corridors of NERV. It had been easy enough to avoid the security agents assigned to watch him, for he could feel their hearts with his own. He glanced towards the higher levels of the facility, sensing the conflicted emotions of all three of the other Eva pilots, however, their troubles were no longer his concern. He had fulfilled his promise to himself to allow Shinji and Rei to find their happiness, and he had even conceded to allow Asuka the time for her own, a promise that was quickly fulfilled. Now all that was left was his destiny.

He started entering the chamber where he could sense Unit 00 being housed when he heard his sister's thoughts in his head. "_No! Not yet!_" He had already stepped through the threshold, however, and the Angel-Alert klaxon started blaring.

"Strange… did they set a trap for me?" Tabris wondered aloud, gazing up at Unit 00. However, it was not Unit 00. "What? Little sister… did you lie to me? Or perhaps you were the one who was lied to." He scowled up at the simulation Eva before him, containing the sole surviving Rei Dummy Plug. "Hmph… this complicates matters."

Alone, the angel floated towards the bulkheads leading to Terminal Dogma, forcing them open with his powers. "The Lilim's capacity for deception knows no bounds." The silver-haired boy remarked, forcing the bulkheads to open up one after another. His gaze moved up when he heard a primal scream above him. "Shinji-kun? No… Soryu-san. Even better."

"I knew there was something wrong with you, you silver-haired freak!" Asuka screamed, approaching the angel quickly as she drew her prog-knife.

Tabris's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Strange… what is this shroud of sorrow still choking your heart, Soryu-san?" He inquired, ignoring the knife as it made contact with his AT field. "Ah… Shinji-kun rejected you. A pity. Forgive me, Soryu-san. Blame Shinji-kun for your weakness, if you like."

"Why won't you die?!" The second child screamed as she brought the knife down again and again, only to be deflected by the strong AT field surrounding the boy-angel. "Was… was ist das!? (What… what is that!?)" The girl demanded, seeing a glowing energy surrounding the fifth child. A moment later, it lanced out and made contact with her. "**AAAAAHHHH!!!! NO!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!**" She screamed, digging her fingers into her head as she thrashed around inside her plug.

"Asuka! What's happening?!" The panicked voice of Shinji came through the comm. window.

"Get out of my head, you stupid Hurensohn (son of a bitch/whore)!" The German girl screamed in agony.

"Unit 01, launch immediately!" The voice of Major Katsuragi could be heard, but then the voices simply seemed to fade away.

* * *

Asuka blinked and sat up, finding herself in a hospital room. "Huh? What happened?" She inquired, blinking even more to clear her eyes as she saw Shinji standing beside her, looking worried and nervous.

"Are you ok, Asuka-chan? Kaoru did a pretty good number on you before you killed him. We were worried that… you'd never wake up." The third child admitted shyly, glancing away from the girl as shame at his own inability to save her was apparent.

"I… feel fine. What happened? The last thing I remember was that Oberarsch (supreme idiot/super ass) fucking with my head. Then… waking up here." The blue-eyed girl stated.

"You were thrashing around… right before I reached you in Unit 01, you punched Kaoru… uh… I mean the angel… dead on. Squashed him like a bug. Then you went unconscious. We were afraid the mental contamination was too much… especially after… last time." The young Ikari stated, staring at the floor.

A smile crossed the German pilot's lips as she contemplated that. "See? I told you I was the best pilot, stupid."

Shinji smiled and hesitantly reached out to brush his fingers over the girl's smooth cheek. "Yeah… I know. Asuka-chan… when I thought I lost you… I realized how stupid I've been. When you're feeling better… I'd like it if… ah… you'd give me another chance… to make it up to you."

The red-haired beauty stared up at the boy, surprise on her features. Then a sly grin formed on her lips. "Are you saying you wanna fuck me, Shinji-kun? And Rei-chan is still ok with that?"

The third child blushed and looked away. "Ah… well… when you're feeling better… I want to be with you… yes. If you still want to… if you don't, I understand. I've been an idiot…"

Asuka smiled brightly and kissed the blue-eyed boy with a burning passion. "Screw waiting… close the fucking door and get naked!"

The young Ikari grinned like a fool and kicked the door closed as he starting pulling off his clothing. "You're sure? You want to be one with me? I need you to open yourself up to me…"

The second child blinked a few times in confusion. "What?"

"I can't just… do it so suddenly, Asuka-chan… at least not without knowing for sure it's what you want. If you want me… I need you to open your heart to me. Let me love you…" Shinji stated with a warm, angelic smile as he gently brushed his lips against the blue-eyed girl's.

"Shinji-kun… Shin-chan… I… love you, you know. You stupid boy… Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear you tell me that?" Asuka asked, pulling the boy close and crying tears of joy as she kissed the third child.

"Thank you, Asuka-chan. That was all I needed." The boy pressed himself against the girl for a few moments and it almost seemed like they became one person. The world dissolved into nothingness around them as they kissed.

* * *

Asuka's screams of pain suddenly changed into a feral growl. As Unit 01 approached, her Eva turned and started tackling the purple Eva. "Raaawl!!!" She cried, attempting to stab the other Eva with her prog-knife.

Shinji brought up his hands just in time to catch the other Eva's wrists, fighting desperately to keep himself from being stabbed. "What the hell?! Asuka! Why are you attacking me?!"

"Shinji-kun! The angel has contaminated her mind! She's not in control of herself! You're going to have to neutralize Unit 02 so that you can destroy that angel!" Major Katsuragi barked out.

"But… I can't! Asuka is in there! It's not her fault that she's attacking me!" The boy cried, desperately struggling with the other Eva. He screamed in agony when the blade bit into his Eva's shoulder for a moment, sending out sparks that flew everywhere before he was able to pry the knife back out. They kept passing bulkhead layers, approaching Terminal Dogma every second.

"Shinji! You must neutralize Unit 02!" Gendo commanded coldly.

"No! Can't you eject her plug!?" The young Ikari cried, struggling with all his might against the feral might of Eva Unit 02.

"Negative! The Eva is rejecting the ejection signal!" Maya's voice was heard to report.

"Damn it… what do I do now!?" Shinji cried, screaming in pain a moment later when the knife once again bit into his shoulder.

"Shinji! Don't let your failure to act cost Asuka her life as it did Suzahara's!" Misato cried. "You can neutralize Unit 02 without killing Asuka, if you act now!" She made sure to mention that before the commander could make any comment about the expendability of the German pilot.

The third child's eyes widened as he realized she was right. "Asuka-chan… forgive me. Don't die… please don't die." He drew his prog-knife, ignoring the throbbing pain in his shoulder from the knife still embedded in his Eva, and stabbing into the chest cavity of Unit 02, desperately hoping he had avoided the Entry Plug but damaged the power supply. A moment later they fell through the last barrier into Terminal Dogma itself, falling down into the Sea of LCL.

The boy screamed in pain as the shock traveled through his system. He stared up in horror as Unit 02 jumped up and latched onto his Eva's neck with its hands, squeezing the life out of him. His ears were bombarded by the animalistic cry of Asuka as he was strangled. "Damn it! Asuka! Wake up!!!" He cried. He glanced over and watched in horror as Kaoru floated closer to (as he believed) Adam. Growing desperate, he pulled Asuka's prog-knife out of his shoulder and stabbed it through the neck of Unit 02, causing it to fall limply to the side in a shower of LCL. He gasped for breath for a few moments and then scrambled to his feet and chased after Kaoru. "**KAORU!!!**" He screamed.

Tabris almost made it to Lilith when he felt Unit 01's fist close over his body. "Ah… Shinji-kun. Once again, you've bested me."

"You son of a bitch! If Asuka is hurt, I'll chase you into hell and kill you again!" Shinji cried in fury. "Why did you do this?! You're human… you're an angel too? I don't understand! And why did you do that to Asuka!? I thought you were my friend!"

Kaoru smiled pleasantly up at the enraged third child. He already felt his AT field being neutralized by Rei, so he knew he couldn't withstand it when the Eva's hand closed. "It was my destiny to die here by your hand. As it has been before, so it is now. I can't seem to escape that fate, no matter what I try."

"Stop talking nonsense and tell me why you did that to Asuka?!" The young Ikari demanded, squeezing down just enough to make his grip uncomfortably tight for the angel.

Kaoru glanced up and smiled at Rei. "_Take good care of Shinji-kun for me, little sister. I'm… sorry about Asuka._" He told her in his thoughts.

"_You are a fool, Tabris. You are the angel of free will… and yet you never exercised that free will for yourself. I gave you three chances and you made the same choice every time. But this time you hurt Asuka-chan… consider yourself lucky that I am not remaking the world again this time, or I would kill you myself when the new Day dawned._" Rei's thoughts drifted down into the angel's mind.

Kaoru's eyes widened at that revelation. "_Shinji… and Asuka weren't the only ones whose regrets you attempted to address, where they. Tell me, little sister… what were my regrets?_"

"_Both times they were the same. That you made the wrong choice._" The first child replied in thought. "_Goodbye, Tabris._"

Kaoru's eyes drifted shut for a few moments and then he looked back up at Shinji, whom was still waiting for an explanation. "It was the only choice I had left. Unit 02 would not allow me to dominate her, so I had to dominate Soryu-san instead. Had you shown her the love she craved… it would not have been possible. I'm sorry, Shinji-kun. Once again, I've made the wrong choice. Goodbye."

Shinji's eyes widened in horror. 'I… knew. Somehow, I knew. Asuka-chan's sense of foreboding… Rei-chan's prompting to share my love with Asuka… it's my fault. It's all my fault!' The boy realized. "**NOOO!!!!**" He screamed, clenching his fist closed and crushing Kaoru Nagisa.

"The interference is gone! Shinji-kun! Are you still there?! Is everything all right?!" Maya's frantic voice inquired, followed a moment later with the same question by Misato.

The blue-eyed boy stared down at his hands in shock, unable to even form a thought.

* * *

Sorry for the long wait. I hope it was worth it. Next chapter: The final days before Third Impact… everyone deals with the choices they've made and their consequences. It'll be a barrel of fun! For you… not for the characters. Muahahaha!!!! 


	34. Revelations

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: I almost called this chapter "The Revelation of St. Shinji" but I just couldn't bring myself to call Shinji a saint. It would just be too wrong. Hehe

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

**Chapter 34: Revelations**

'_Water… ripples on the surface. Dripping down… rainfall. Tears? Are these my tears? Tears of sadness… tears of joy. What makes a person cry? Water… soothing. Who am I? Am I the mother? Am I the daughter? I am me. But who is that? Shinji… I am Shinji as he is me. He is in my heart… Shinji… I love you.'_ Rei's eyes snapped open and she sat up. "What?"

"Hey." Shinji greeted her as he sat up straighter, looking like he hadn't slept in days.

The first child noticed she was in a hospital room. "Shinji-kun?" She looked around and noticed Asuka lying in the next bed over. "Asuka-chan? Is she… all right?"

The blue-eyed boy shook his head. "She hasn't woken up since the angel attack."

Rei frowned thoughtfully. "Why am I here?"

The third child's eyes squinted a little in confusion. "You came in to see Asuka-chan… you said something to her and then you fainted."

The red-eyed girl thought about that for a few moments and then said "I don't remember." She rubbed sleep from her eyes and wondered how long she had been asleep. "Asuka-chan was asleep when I spoke to her?"

Shinji nodded and glanced over at the second child, guilt crossing his features for a few moments. "Yeah. You just… whispered something in her ear and then you passed out."

The first child wondered what it was she said and why she couldn't remember it. The last memory she had was when Tabris was killed. "How long since the last angel was… defeated?"

The young Ikari frowned thoughtfully and glanced to the side. "Ah, that was… two days ago now? Yeah."

"I have been asleep for two days?" Rei asked, surprise edging into her normally stoic whisper.

The blue-eyed boy shook his head, sitting up a little straighter as he became concerned. "No, you've only been asleep for maybe twelve hours now. You don't remember anything from before then?"

Rei frowned thoughtfully as she tried to remember. _'Shinji-kun was forced to cripple Unit 02 because Tabris had forced his soul into contact with Asuka-chan's and pushed her into a state of feral rage… afterwards I suppressed the angel's AT field with my own so that Shinji-kun could defeat him. Then I… I… wept? Yes… I wept for the pain that my beloved was forced to endure because of… me? I… should have never allowed Tabris to befriend Shinji-kun again. I should have protected him. I failed him… Shinji-kun… forgive me. Afterwards… I… what? I must have witnessed Asuka-chan and Shinji-kun being extracted from their Evas… but I don't remember it. What else could I have done? Seen the commander, no doubt. Did I wait a whole day and a half before I came to see the two people most important to me in the world? Why? And why have I been unconscious for twelve hours… did I overtax my S2 organ? Doing what? It should not have drained me overly much by suppressing Tabris's AT field… and that was 36 hours before I fainted… did I do something to Asuka-chan? Perhaps to help her?'_ The girl blinked a few times before responding finally. "I do not remember."

"Should I call a doctor? After you fainted, they said you just seemed exhausted. I assumed you've been working too hard at whatever it is that my father has you working on. And that you probably hadn't slept since… the angel attack." The third child stated, fidgeting nervously as he worried over the girl's condition.

The red-eyed girl shook her head once. "That will not be necessary. I have had memory lapses in the past… though normally not ones of so recent events. It was likely due to exhaustion. You should call the commander and inform him of my condition."

"Oh… ah… ok." Shinji pulled his cell phone out and dialed the number his father gave him. "Father… yes. I know sir but… yes. Sorry father. But I'm calling to tell you… I'm sorry, father. Yes sir." A frustrated expression formed on his face. After several long moments of listening silently to the commander, he spoke up again. "Sir! I was calling to tell you that Rei-chan woke up. She…" He sighed and put his phone away. "He hung up on me."

The first child nodded, having already drawn that conclusion. "Perhaps he is on his way."

"He was in a meeting. He was very angry about being disturbed." Unit 01's pilot explained with a shrug. He looked over at Asuka again, vainly searching for any signs of her waking up. "Rei-chan… did you know that… Nagisa was an angel?"

'_Oh shit.'_ Rei's eyes widened in surprise at the question. "I… knew that he was like us." She responded carefully. _'Please don't ask for more than that…'_

"It's just that… when he first came to NERV… you seemed agitated by his presence. I assumed at the time it was because he was a stranger and said he was your brother… but now… I get the feeling that you knew he was an angel." The third child stated uncertainly, but his eyes were far from uncertain.

"I… knew that it was possible that he was an angel." The blue-haired beauty stated, turning her gaze down to her hands as she sat on the hospital bed. _'It wasn't 100 certain that he was the last angel… at least not at the time. So I am not lying.'_

"Rei-chan. I'm beyond tired. I've been lied to and manipulated by people I thought cared about me. I want a straight answer from you." Shinji stated firmly, leaning forward a little to catch the girl's eyes with his own again. "Did you know when he first arrived that he was an angel? Did you know he was an angel when he was pulling me off to spend the day with me?"

'_What is this feeling? Sadness? Shame? The pain of being the cause of a loved one's suffering? What is this feeling called?'_ The first child nodded. "Yes."

The blue-eyed boy nodded. He had assumed so but he wanted to hear her say it. He needed to know that she would indeed tell him the truth when he asked for it. "Why didn't you tell me? You could have warned me. We could have killed him before he hurt Asuka-chan." He did his best to keep his anger out of his voice but was only marginally successful.

Rei stared at her hands again. "I… hoped that this time it would be different."

"This time? What… I feel like I'm going insane." The third child clutched at his head and squeezed his eyes shut. "What did you do?"

The girl closed her red eyes as sadness fell over her heart. _'He's figured it out. Is he going to hate me now? I wish that I could comfort him… but I think I am the last person he wants that from now.'_ She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again to look upon the stressed visage of the boy who owned her heart. "That information is classified."

"Oh, of course. How convenient. So you're not going to tell me why my brain feels like it's on fire every time I think about what's been going on lately?" Shinji sighed in exasperation and turned his head, not wanting to look at the former pilot that he loved, because he was afraid of what else he would say.

"I will tell you if you order me to do so. I cannot determine whether the truth would do you more harm than good at this point." Rei stated sadly.

The third child met his lover's eyes with his own, resolve shining within them. "Tell me." He ordered firmly.

The blue-haired beauty nodded. "Hai. Please close the door, this information is highly classified."

Shinji got up and closed the door immediately and locked it for privacy. He even went so far as to pull the curtains over the observation windows. Then he sat down at the foot of Rei's bed and faced her. "I'm listening."

The first child nodded and took a deep breath and let it out slowly, though whether it was a slight delaying tactic or to calm her nerves, only she knew. "Third impact is inevitable. That has never been in question. The human race is dying out. Without the Third Impact, we might survive for another generation… possibly two. But birth rates are dropping at an exponential rate. The only question has ever been… which race will survive and _how_ will we survive."

The young Ikari nodded. It made sense, though he wasn't sure why. "So the angels had to die so that humanity could survive, in more ways than the obvious."

Rei nodded. "Yes. The committee that oversees NERV has planned out how humanity's evolution would take place. We are to become one with God. Or return to the Heavenly Kingdom… I'm actually not positive on the end result of their plans. Commander Ikari, on the other hand, seeks a different solution. He wishes the barriers between humanity's souls to be dropped so that we would all become as one. No need for deception… or loneliness. No more sorrow… we would all be united… and reunited with those we love the most. You and Commander Ikari, for example… would be reunited with your mother."

The third child's mouth was hanging open in shock. "But… that's insane!" He was trying to tell himself that she was making all this up, but he knew she was telling the truth. He wasn't sure how… perhaps it was because he knew she wouldn't lie to him, or perhaps he had some idea of this already. Either way, it scared the crap out of him.

"Perhaps. Despite the best intentions, however, both times we tried initiating Third Impact, the sorrows and regrets of humanity held us back. People were unable to move on, simply because they had too many regrets. I… attempted to address those regrets, at least with the people I cared about most. Even resolving the deepest regrets in our lives, we still had new ones when the world ended the second time. This time… success or failure, it's over." Ayanami stated as if she were relating a tedious event to somebody.

Things were falling into place now. All the feelings of déjà vu that he experienced time and time again… it made sense now. "So this is the third time we've gone through this hell." The blue-eyed boy stated for clarification.

"Yes. I cannot… put you through it a fourth time. I understand if you hate me…" The girl's red eyes fixed down at her hands again, unable to meet her lover's gaze.

"I could never hate you, Rei-chan. But… I can't say I'm not angry over this. Why… did the world even need to be remade in the first place? So what if regrets held us back. That's life. Why… try again? Especially when it didn't even work the first time. Are you just a sadist?" Shinji couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"Perhaps." The first child responded sadly. "I had… hope for you. And Asuka-chan. And Nagisa-kun. And… Commander Ikari."

The young Ikari flinched a little at the angel's name and only winced slightly at the mention of his father. He was quiet for a while as he absorbed everything the girl had told him. "So I had… regrets? And you… addressed them? What does that mean?"

Rei turned her head slightly to stare at one of the blank walls. "I am not quite sure. I believe I made minor changes to create the desired effect."

"Such as what? What did I regret the first time and how did you resolve it?" The blue-eyed boy asked, accusation breaking into his tone.

The red-eyed angel closed her eyes for a few moments, her heart aching because she knew she was causing her beloved pain, but she told him she would answer his questions if he ordered her to do so, so she had no choice. "We… were not close, originally. You… kept your distance from me. And without you reaching out to me offering friendship, I was alone. I had nothing. No hope, no dreams. I wished only for my purpose to be fulfilled so that I could die. Your regret was that we had not gotten to know one another better. My regret was that I never had any reason to live. Addressing your regret solved both of our problems. I gave you a desire to want to know me. By reaching out to me… you gave me hope and a reason to live."

Shinji swallowed nervously. He couldn't even imagine a world where he wouldn't have fallen in love with the young Ayanami and he was glad that she had given him a second chance to get to know her. "What about the second time? You said this is the third time… so you remade the world a second time and tried to address our regrets again."

The first child nodded, turning her head to look at Shinji, feeling better that she did not see hatred in his eyes, only confusion and pain. She felt guilty for her selfish desire to not be hated, even if it meant her lover was caused this pain instead. "When the angel before Nagisa attacked… I detonated my Eva then, as well. Only… you did not save me. That was your regret, that you were unable to save me. So I gave you a way to save my life."

The blue-eyed boy nodded. That was why she seemed so uncertain that he had saved her… it made sense. "What was your regret?" He inquired, curious why she had told him without prompting last time, but not this time. He saw the hesitation in her eyes before she looked away again and that brought fear and anger boiling up. "Answer me!" He insisted.

"That we did not have a future together. So I… gave us one." Rei replied, vulnerability evident in her normally stoic whisper-like voice.

Shinji blinked in surprise. It didn't sound bad… but it obviously was by the way she was reacting. "What does that mean? What did you do?" By the way she looked ready to start crying, he thought he knew and it horrified him. But he had to hear her say it… and know why. "**WHAT DID YOU DO?!**" He demanded.

"I set events in order that would ensure that we had a future together." The first child stated, even though she had already said that.

The blue-eyed boy clenched his fists several times, struggling to maintain at least a modicum of calm. "Answer my question, Rei-chan."

Rei took a deep breath as tears dripped out of her eyes unnoticed. "In order for humanity to continue to exist as individuals, which you expressly desired considering how you rejected Third Impact twice… I had to come up with a way for humanity to evolve. Developing S2 organs was the ideal solution."

The third child stiffened in outrage but managed to keep from lashing out. Had it been anyone else… he would not have been strong enough for that. "That's why you said it was your fault that I died." He stated bitterly.

"Yes. I did not fully realize it at the time. It was only recently that my memory of the previous two worlds returned fully." The red-eyed girl explained. "I did not think of the means for you to have an S2 organ, only that you should have one. Fate… filled in the rest."

Shinji nodded for a few moments but then his expression turned quizzical. "I don't understand though. What's the point of me having an S2 organ?"

'_That should have been obvious…'_ The first child thought. "Your children will also have S2 organs."

"But you can't have children." The young Ikari pointed out.

Rei nodded. "That is true." She saw the question in his eyes so explained before he had to ask. "However… Asuka-chan can."

The third child's eyes widened in shock and he edged away from her slightly without realizing it. "That's why you've been trying to get me to make love to her. You wanted me to impregnate her?! Are you twisted?!"

The blue-haired beauty shook her head, hiding her offense well. "You could have picked anyone to be the mother of your children. I… only hoped it would be her. It did not even occur to me that you might pick Ibuki-san."

Shinji stared at his beloved in bewilderment. "Why do you think I would pick Ibuki-san?"

"You had sexual intercourse with her." The first child pointed out.

"She came on to me when I was feeling hurt and alone! It's not like I planned on marrying her and having kids with her! I chose _you_! I don't care if you set it in motion; I still fell in love with you! And I'd do so again in a heartbeat, but I can't say I like you very much right now." The young Ikari bit out in anger. "Speaking of which, do you realize what my semen _did_ to Ibuki-taii?! You want me to get Asuka-chan sick like that?!"

"She would suffer no ill effects from exposure to your blue cells." Rei stated in an ambiguous tone.

"Are you telling me that you had _her_ killed too?! Is she a fucking clone as well?!" The third child demanded, indicating the comatose girl in lying in the bed next to them with an expressive gesture.

The red-eyed girl turned her head away down at the floor beside the bed. "If was not necessary for her to be cloned, nor to have an S2 organ. Your children will have S2 organs because _you_ have one. It was only necessary for her to be immune to the mind-altering effects of super solenoid energy cells when first encountering the central nervous system."

Shinji's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "How?"

The first child shook her head. "I do not know. I believe that the commanders utilized some means to give her immunity to S2 cells while she was undergoing her Eva pilot training. The exact means of their methods are unknown to me. I only know that they had prepared her to be the mother of your children in the event of Third Impact either not occurring properly or in case both you and she rejected the ultimate form of mankind. They did not force her upon you; they merely made the preparations and gave you the opportunity to grow close to her."

The young Ikari frowned, again suppressing the urge to lash out at her. "Why? Why did you choose _her_, especially when you _knew_ I was going to choose you?"

"Because I love her." Rei replied simply.

The third child stood up abruptly and started pacing around. "Do you realize how hard this is for me to wrap my head around?! Two weeks ago you hated her! Now suddenly you love her? Where does that leave me?!"

"I have loved her since the previous world. She slapped me and I fell in love with her. The time we spent together this time… reminded me of that. And so I fell in love with her once again." The blue-haired beauty explained.

Shinji grabbed at his temples and hissed in exasperation and then looked at his girlfriend as if she were insane. "You fell in love with her because she slapped you?! And I thought _I_ was fucked up."

"It was not the slap itself. I saw into her heart. I saw her vulnerability. Her fear. Her loneliness. I saw into Asuka-chan's soul during that slap and I fell in love with it, and her. I did not appreciate the attack, but if it meant seeing her heart that way again, I would gladly accept another slap. This time, however, she showed me her heart without striking me." The red-eyed girl elaborated.

The third child sighed and leaned back against the wall, still clutching his temples as his brain struggled to make sense of all these revelations. "Then we're back to my previous question. Where does that leave me?"

Rei looked over at the second child thoughtfully. "If you can accept her into our lives, I would appreciate it. I wish to share my love with her. But if you forbid it, I will comply. If you do allow it, however, it is your choice as to whether you share your affections with her or not. I wish to share mine with her, but I can not and will not force you to do likewise. If you do not wish for Asuka-chan to be the mother of your children, I will respect your wishes. She… deserves love. I wish to give her that love."

The blue eyed boy sighed. It still sounded to him like he was interfering in their love, leading him back to his feelings when he first asked her to be his girlfriend. "So you love her. What about me?"

The first child's gaze snapped up to meet the boy's. She was shocked he even asked. "You know how I feel about you."

"Right now? No I don't. If it was the day we made love, then I wouldn't be confused. But now I am. I want to hear you say how you feel about me so that I have no confusion over the matter." Shinji stated firmly.

The young Ayanami stared down at the floor. "Words will never fully express my feelings for you. These words that you wish me to say… I am not yet ready to say them. But I am always ready to tell you in action how I feel. I remade the world twice for you, even after you rejected me. My every look… my every action shows my devotion to you. If you cannot see it, then my heart weeps."

The third child sighed and turned his gaze over to the second child. "That's what I thought you'd say. Normally I'd feel ashamed and apologize for hurting your feelings… and don't get me wrong, I do feel bad about that. But on the other hand… you essentially killed me. No matter your reasons or your feelings, it doesn't make it right. Tell me this then… knowing the pain that finding out about my death caused me… knowing what happened to Asuka-chan… if you could go back and put us through this again… would you?"

"I told you that I will not remake the world again." Rei replied.

"No. That's _not_ the answer to my question. Had you known this is what would have happened… would you still do it?" The blue-eyed boy asked, fixing his gaze intently on the girl in front of him.

The girl's red eyes lifted up to meet those of her lover. "Yes."

Shinji's eyes closed for a few moments as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. His eyes then opened and he looked at the first child, as serious as he had ever been in his life. "Get out. I can't even look at you right now, but I need to be here in case Asuka-chan wakes up."

The blue-haired beauty stood up and sighed. "Shinji-kun…"

"Get… out." Ikari repeated.

Rei bowed low as tears dripped from her eyes. "Forgive me, Ikari-sama." Without another word, she left, not caring that everyone she passed saw her weeping as she exited the hospital.

* * *

"You deserve death." One of the SEELE committee members pronounced just before terminating the communication.

"Hmph… foolish old men." Commander Ikari spat out bitterly. He turned to regard Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki. "It won't be long now. Are the preparations complete?"

"Mostly. Repairs on Eva Unit 02 should be complete by morning. The repair crews have been working on it around the clock. Unit 01 only required minimal repairs… I believe she took care of most of them herself. It was only the damaged armor that needed to be replaced." Kōzō informed the commander.

Gendo nodded as he started walking out of the conference room. "Rei is awake now. Her rest shouldn't put us behind schedule. I believe she has nearly completed her work. The coma that the second child is in is a bit of a concern, however."

"If she does not wake up before we are attacked, then we shall simply have to hope that Shinji-kun can hold the forces back long enough for our plans to be realized." The professor stated as he followed a step behind the commander.

"Does Rei seem to know more about what is going to happen than we do?" Commander Ikari inquired out of the blue.

Fuyutsuki blinked in surprise. "You mean because she requested the MAGI be prepared for hacking attempts? It does seem the logical first step for SEELE to attempt. I'm surprised that we didn't think of it."

Gendo frowned slightly in thought and glanced back at his old friend for a few moments before turning his gaze back in front of him. "Indeed."

Kōzō's eyes dropped down to the floor as he followed the commander silently. _'I hope you'll forgive me some day, old friend.'_ He thought to himself.

* * *

Asuka lay curled into Shinji's side, idly running a finger over his bare chest. "Something has been bugging me for a few weeks now. Where's Wonder Girl?"

The boy turned his cobalt blue eyes to fix on the girl's royal blue ones, an eyebrow arching up slightly as he considered her. "What do you mean? She's been around. She's just been busy with my father."

The second child frowned thoughtfully. "I don't remember seeing her since the breakfast a few weeks ago. That's really strange… I'd think she'd at least come home to get some tender loving from you. Surely she's not going to just let me hog all your affection."

"Why do you care? Don't I fuck you enough?" The young Ikari inquired.

A slight blush crept into the German pilot's cheeks. "Well, yeah. But that's not why I'm asking. I miss her. And it's not that I don't appreciate your… carnal attentions, but I do happen to enjoy the affection that she gives me too. And it's not just about the affection, I like hanging out with her. You two didn't break up, did you? Because the last thing in the world I wanted was to come between you…"

"No, of course not. She's been around. You were probably just too distracted to notice, is all." The third child explained.

"That's weird… I would think I would have…" Asuka started to say.

"Asuka-chan, you need to wake up." Rei's soft voice stated out of nowhere.

The second child blinked in surprise and looked around. "Did you hear that?"

Shinji quirked an eyebrow up. "Hear what?" He asked.

"I… thought I heard Rei-chan's voice." The red-haired spitfire stated uncertainly.

The young Ikari shrugged. "You might have. Maybe she stopped by to change her clothes or something."

"Maybe I should go check, say hi if she's still around." The German girl suggested, starting to get up.

"I'm sure she's gone." The third child stated quickly, grabbing the girl and tickling her. "Wanna fool around some more?"

Asuka grinned. "Sure, why not?"

Sometime later, the young Ikari was feeding the blue-eyed girl breakfast in bed. "I bet you wouldn't say no to some sausage and bacon. I found those bratwursts you like." The boy gave her a lopsided grin as he waved the meat under her nose.

The German girl grinned and grabbed the plate eagerly. "You're right about that, mein Freund!" She paused after she took a bite when she heard a voice in the distance.

"Asuka-chan… please! Wake up! Wake up and tell me what an idiot I am! Please! I… need you. Please wake up!!! ASUKA-CHAN!" The voice of the young Ikari floated down.

The red-haired beauty blinked in surprise. "Ok, you can't tell me you didn't hear that. What the hell was that?!"

"That was… ah… that was me. I said that earlier to wake you up. It's probably just ah… now sinking in." The boy explained lamely.

The blue-eyed girl was far from stupid, though. "I'm asleep, aren't I? This is all one big long dream!"

Shinji sighed and nodded. "Yes, you're dreaming. But you don't _have_ to wake up. You can stay here with me forever. I'll love you the way you've always wanted me to. I'll never leave you. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Asuka snorted. "Fuck you. If I wanted a dream, I'd take a nap. I'm Asuka Langley Soryu, asshole. I don't settle for second best, **_EVER_**. Besides, Shinji-kun obviously needs me. What do I want with a ghost like you when I can comfort the real Shinji? See ya."

"Asuka, wait! I love you!" The dream-Ikari pleaded, clutching at the girl as she tried to leave.

"Es ist mir Wurst (I don't care… literally it means 'It is sausage to me' hehe)." The second child stated firmly, stepping out a door. The world seemed to fade into blinding whiteness. She cracked her eyes open slowly, squinting at the bright light. "Shit… turn the fucking lights down, would you?"

Shinji's head shot up to attention immediately. "Asuka-chan?! You're awake! You're finally awake!!!" He cried, clutching at the girl and sobbing.

The second child blinked in surprise and held the boy, rubbing his back in what she hoped to be a soothing manner. "Hey stupid… I've got a question for you. Did you jerk off on me while I was asleep?"

Ikari slowly leaned his head back and stared at the girl as if she must be brain-damaged, but then he saw the humor in her eyes. "Ah… yeah. A little. I felt you up too." He joked with a tired smile.

Asuka giggled softly and tweaked the boy's nose playfully. "Yeah, I figured, you pervert. Next time do it when I'm awake so I can enjoy it too, ja?"

The third child chuckled and held the girl close again, glad she was obviously feeling well enough to tease him. "You scared the crap out of me. Don't _ever_ do that again. Are you feeling ok? I mean… is your brain smooshed any?"

The second child gave the boy a lopsided grin. "Smooshed? Is that a medical term? No… my brain feels fine. A little fuzzy, but I chalk that up to being asleep for… ok obviously long enough to get some pretty horrid bed hair. So what's it been? Twelve hours? …a day?"

Shinji coughed nervously. "Ah… almost three."

The blue-eyed girl fell silent for a few long moments before responding. "Ah… I take it you don't mean hours. Three days? Ach… I guess it could be worse. At least Angel-boy didn't break anything when he was dicking around in my brain." She grew nervous when she saw the look on the boy's face. "What? He didn't, did he?"

The third child shook his head. "Not that I know of. I'll call a doctor… I'm sure they'll want to do an examination now that you're awake."

Asuka nodded. "I suppose this would be a bad time to joke that I feel a nap coming on, ja?" She smiled brightly, despite the glare she received from the boy. "Ah, you'll laugh tomorrow."

After the examination, the doctor made some notes on a chart. "There don't seem to be any neurological deficits. We'll want to keep you under observation for a while, just to be on the safe side, though."

"Of course. Thank you for taking such good care of her, doctor." Shinji bowed deeply in gratitude. He didn't know whether the German girl wanted to leave or not but he didn't wish to take any chances with her health.

"So… we obviously saved the world because we're still here. Did I kick his ass?" The blue-eyed girl asked as she casually put her hands behind her head and leaned back.

The third child shifted nervously, unsure of how to respond. "Ah… well…"

"If I got my ass handed to me, just say so. I was too fucked in the brain to tell what was going on." The red-haired beauty stated.

"Ka… ah… the angel made you go kind of crazy. You started attacking me. I… had to put you down so I could kill the angel before he reached Adam and killed us all. I'm so sorry!" Shinji bowed deeply, afraid the girl was going to kill him for hurting her.

"You did the right thing. Had the situation been reversed, I would have done the same. I'm just glad you were able to get to him in time. I guess it's a good thing I wasn't in my right mind or you would have _never_ been able to beat me." The second child gave the boy a lopsided grin.

The young Ikari breathed out a sigh of relief. "I was afraid you'd be angry with me. I tried to snap you out of it… I didn't want to hurt you. Misato-san reminded me though I that I didn't have to kill you to stop you. I… wish I had realized that when Suzahara's Eva was infested. I had to get pretty nasty though… I almost stabbed my prog-knife through your Entry Plug and you were _still_ trying to kill me."

"I don't lose easily, even when I'm durchdrehe… ah… sorry, going mad I mean." Asuka said as she smiled, proud of her determination despite the circumstances surrounding it.

The third child shook his head, bemused by her attitude. "You're in a much better mood than I expected."

The blue-eyed beauty shrugged nonchalantly. "I had some really good dreams while I was asleep." She explained with a mysterious grin on her lips. "How's Rei-chan, by the way?"

Shinji's smile dropped at the mention of his girlfriend. "Ah… well we kind of had a fight this morning. She's… healthy, at the very least."

The second child snorted. "What are you, stupid?! Go apologize to her!"

The young Ikari scowled. "Why do you assume that _I'm_ the one at fault?"

"Because you're a boy, and boys are idiots. What did she do to piss you off?" Asuka asked, looking the boy over as if nothing he could say would convince her.

'_She killed me and she said she'd do it again even though she knows how much it fucked me up to find out about it.'_ The blue-eyed boy thought, but he couldn't tell her that. "I… can't really tell you that without getting her in trouble. Let's just say it was something horrible and she said she'd do it again even though she knows how much pain it caused me."

"Waah." The German spitfire deadpanned.

Shinji blinked in surprise. "Wha… what?"

"You heard me. Boo-fucking-hoo. You love that girl. You know it, and I know it. If you can't find it in your heart to forgive something she did that upset you, you never deserved her in the first place." The red-haired beauty stated.

Ikari rolled his eyes in exasperation. "I've been saying that from the beginning. Nobody _listens_ to me. Look… I'm sure I'll forgive her. I just need time to work this all out in my head. She dropped some major bombshells on me and it's going to take some time to get past it all."

"Why do you look guilty?" Asuka asked suddenly, sitting up fully and looking at the boy more closely.

"Huh?" The third child scratched the back of his head nervously.

The German girl scowled. "Don't play dumb with me, Third. You haven't looked me straight in the eye since you told me about the angel battle. It can't be that you just feel guilty about having to take me down… there's something else bothering you. Spill it."

Shinji sighed and rubbed his face furiously with his hands for a few moments. He was way too tired for this. "It's my fault that the angel was able to… do what he did to you."

The second child shook her head. "What are you, stupid? You weren't even allowed to launch yet. There was no reason before he did that to assume I couldn't have taken him on my own."

The young Ikari turned his gaze down to his hand, flexing it a few times in agitation. "No… Nagisa… he said he was able to cause you to berserk because… your defenses were down… because you felt rejected… because of me. I'm so sorry, Asuka-chan."

A flash of anger lit up Asuka's features for a few moments but then she looked thoughtful for a few moments. "I forgive you."

The blue-eyed boy stared at the girl in surprise. "Huh? How can you forgive me so easily after what you went through?! It must have been hell, especially because it was the second time it happened to you!"

"Shinji-kun. I love you, idiot. You forgive those you love when they fuck up. Everyone messes up or does stuff that pisses someone else off. It's an unavoidable fact of life. If you love someone, you forgive them. If you don't forgive them, you don't deserve to call it love. I know you, stupid. If you could go back to before that angel attacked and show me the love you know you wanted to, you would do it. And so, I forgive you. Do I wish I didn't have to go through all that again? Hell yes. Do I blame you? Hell no. I blame that silver-haired freak." The German girl explained.

"But it's not that simple…" Shinji tried to protest.

"Yes, it is. I love you. I forgive you. Now shut the fuck up." The second child stated firmly.

Tears fell from the boy's cobalt blue eyes as he leaned over to hug the girl close. "Thank you, Asuka-chan. I don't deserve a friend like you."

"Of course not. Do you know what I'm going to ask you now?" Asuka inquired.

The young Ikari leaned back to look the girl in the eye. "No… you can't be serious! You just woke up from a coma!"

The second child giggled. "Pervert. I'm definitely not thinking that… and I can certainly tell this isn't a dream." She stated as she shifted uncomfortably. _'Catheters definitely don't make you feel sexy…'_ The girl thought, hoping that the device would be removed soon. "No, I was going to say… you should go find Wonder Girl and forgive her. I'm sure she feels appropriately shitty for hurting you."

Shinji looked uncertain. "But… I can't just leave you. You just woke up."

"I'm not going anywhere, stupid. Come back after you straighten things out with Rei-chan. I'll still be here. Unfortunately." The blue-eyed beauty stated with a shrug.

The third child sighed and then nodded. "Ok, I'll be back soon." He leaned over and gave the girl a sweet kiss and blushed slightly when he saw the happy smile that appeared on her face as he left. _'I should go back to Misato-san's and get cleaned up at least… then I guess I'll try to find Rei-chan at NERV.'_ He paused for a few moments at the door and looked back at the girl. "Ah… just checking, but you really _don't_ have any brain damage, right?"

"No! Now go, Dummchen." Asuka glared playfully at the boy and shook her head in amusement after he left. "I just had one long _beautiful_ dream… that's all." She remarked to herself. She then looked around and groaned. "Aw shit… there's not even a television in here! What am I supposed to do now?" She grumbled.

* * *

Ritsuko Akagi sat in her office, staring at a photograph of her cats. "I really miss you guys." She mumbled to herself, letting out a long sigh. A few moments later she set the picture frame down. "It took you long enough." She remarked without turning around.

"Your cats?" The quiet voice of Rei Ayanami inquired.

"They were, yes. I'm surprised you're curious about them." The doctor stated, turning her chair around to face the blue-haired girl.

"Why?" The first child inquired.

"Why?! Because in all the years I've known you, you never _once_ asked me a single question about my life! That's why." Ritsuko bit out angrily.

Rei glanced at the photograph of Maya on the woman's filing cabinet. "I asked you many times."

Dr. Akagi glared at the girl. "Not all of us can read body language as easily as _you_, Rei." She blinked when she heard a cracking noise and looked over at the source to find one of her picture frames had cracked glass. The sight of it made her swallow nervously. "I mean… Ayanami-san."

The girl turned her head to fix her red eyes on the doctor curiously. "You are frightened."

"You're damned right I'm frightened. You said the next time we met, you'd kill me. And here you are." Ritsuko stated with a wave of her hand.

"I did not say I would kill you, I said one of us would die. The choice of who dies is yours and yours alone." The first child stated in an ambiguous tone.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" The blonde inquired apprehensively.

Rei blinked. "You are a very intelligent woman. I am confident that you can figure it out." She curiously reached out and picked up a folder containing her medical records. "Is there any mention in here on memory loss?"

Ritsuko frowned thoughtfully. _'She sure is calm for someone who said one of us would die.'_ "Your childhood memories? Third page." Her hand slowly slid into her pocket to the remote detonator she had prepared while working on the MAGI systems.

"Don't bother, your mother betrays you every time. There is no indication here of memory loss occurring after my cloning." The first child stated casually as she flipped through the pages.

"_After_ your cloning? No, you never reported any memory loss after that. Why do you ask?" The doctor took the detonator out and frowned down at it. _'Mother betrays me every time? She had to have been talking about this… she knows more than she is telling. How else would she have known what I was planning?'_

"I have no memory of events occurring after the angel attack two days ago. Twelve hours are accounted for, as I fainted after visiting Pilot Soryu in the infirmary, but thirty six hours are a total blank." Rei responded as she set her medical file down.

The doctor frowned thoughtfully. "Then I suggest you get a skull x-ray and an MRI to rule out concussion and brain tissue damage. You showed no sign of a tumor when I examined you last week, so I doubt it's that."

"If I suffered such an injury, it has already healed." The blue-haired beauty stated, picking up the picture frame with Maya's photograph in it. "Ibuki-san is very kind." She remarked.

Ritsuko's eyes narrowed, finding the girl's behavior to be baffling. "Yes, she is."

The girl placed the photograph back down and turned to face the doctor. "Have you decided?"

Dr. Akagi quirked an eyebrow up inquisitively as she asked "Which one of us will die? We both know I can't kill you, Re… Ayanami-san. Your AT field wouldn't even let me get close enough. So what was the point of you even giving me that knife?"

"My AT field is at rest. If I used it to defend myself, the MAGI would detect the energy and the angel alert would sound. If you decide to kill me, you should aim for my S2 organ." The first child informed the woman.

"_If_ I decide to kill you? What other choice do I have?! You said one of us would die!" Ritsuko paused and tilted her head slightly to the side. "You can't mean… you expect me to commit suicide?! For what, regaining my honor?! Honor is _illogical_, Ayanami-san." She scoffed.

"As is the murder of a dozen innocent children. You can kill me if you wish. Or you can atone for your crimes with jigai (ritual suicide for women). The choice is yours." Rei stated in an even tone.

Dr. Akagi frowned in thought. _'Even if I killed Rei… what would be the point? Gendo would kill me in retaliation. Though it might be worth it… I have to be honest with myself. She's as much his victim as I am. It's illogical to punish her for his sins. And I have my own sins… I did come back here to atone for them. Damn you, Nagisa… why did you have to show me my own soul?'_ She took a deep breath and pulled out the dagger that the former pilot had given her. "It's sharp… probably sharp enough to split a hair. Whoever was stabbed with this blade probably wouldn't even feel it."

"That is true." Ayanami agreed neutrally, patiently awaiting the doctor's decision.

"Hmph… I know it doesn't mean much now, but I'm sorry for what I did, Ayanami-san. A final piece of advice, woman to woman: don't trust Gendo, he'll betray you just as he did me." The blonde stated, raising the dagger up to her throat.

"Akagi-san, wait a moment." The first child requested, approaching her. She leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss onto the woman's brow. "I forgive you."

Tears fell from the doctor's eyes. "Thank you. Ah… you wouldn't happen to have…"

The red-eyed girl pulled off her necktie and offered it to the woman silently.

"Silly of me, I know…" Ritsuko shook her head, spilling hot tears as she tied her ankles together. "Tell Maya-chan… that she deserves better." After the quiet girl nodded, she lifted the knife up to her neck and took a few deep breaths, trying to will her hands to stop shaking. "Sayonara, Ayanami-san."

Rei watched silently as the woman sliced open her jugular vein and was dead within moments. "See you soon, Ritsuko." She remarked before leaving the office. She glanced down at her clothes and realized she would need to change them, as she had been wearing them since the morning before the angel attack. _'All of my clean clothes are still at Shinji-kun's apartment…'_ She silently left NERV headquarters and started going back up to the surface.

* * *

Shinji finished dressing and took a few moments to look at himself in the mirror, noting his bloodshot eyes and tired expression. "After I find Rei-chan and settle things with her… I think I'll go back to Asuka-chan's room and make sure she's still ok and then fall asleep on that other bed. She should be fine as long as I'm in the room…" The boy remarked to himself. His heart nearly jumped into his throat when he heard his door opening. "What?! Oh… Rei-chan…"

Ayanami blinked several times, just as surprised to see the third child there as he was to see her. "I apologize. All of my clean clothes are here."

'_Damn… I was going to use the time it took to get to NERV headquarters and find her to mentally prepare myself for this…'_ The blue-eyed boy thought with a frown forming on his lips. "Oh… yeah. I was just surprised… Misato-san would have called out that she was home." He tried to keep the accusation out of his voice, but he wasn't very successful at it. He hoped that someday she would learn to announce when she came and left, as was expected.

The red-eyed girl looked at the bags containing her clothes for a few moments before turning her gaze back to her beloved. "Ikari-sama… I am… troubled that you might not ever forgive me. I am… experiencing an emotion that I am unable to name. It is like… fear and grief… I… I don't know what to say." Tears started to fall from her eyes as she looked at the boy whose pain was her own.

'_I can't stay mad at her.'_ The blue-eyed boy thought, moving forward and embracing her. "It's ok. I may not understand what you did… but I know you feel you did it for a good reason."

Rei turned her tear-stained eyes up to meet the boy's gaze. "Ikari-sama… please… please forgive me."

'_I… I can't look at her right now. I'm not ready for this. And seeing her cry is only tearing my heart out.'_ The third child squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away, feeling tears of his own straining to flood out of his eyes. "I… I will, Rei-chan. I just… need some more time." He walked purposely out of the apartment, his heart breaking as he heard the girl he loved breaking into sobs behind him. He clutched at his chest, feeling faint as he collapsed to the floor, gasping and wheezing for breath.

"Shinji-kun!" The blue-haired beauty's voice could be heard, in one of the rare moments when it wasn't a quiet whisper. The young Ikari felt himself being cradled in the girl's arms. "What is wrong, Shinji-kun?!"

"I can't… I can't… breathe." Shinji gasped out, his vision going haywire as he clutched his chest tightly. _'Oh god… am I having a heart attack?! They're going to publish a paper on me… 15 year old in good health has a heart attack! Doctors replaced his heart with a bowl of zoni (rice cake soup… a Japanese "winter" soup). Man in cafeteria gets big surprise in his soup bowl…'_

"Shinji-kun! Look at me. Look in my eyes." The first child commanded gently. When the boy turned his dilated eyes to fix on hers, she stroked her fingers through his hair gently while maintaining eye contact. After a minute or so, the boy's breathing had returned to normal and he stared as if hypnotized into the girl's crimson eyes. "Are you feeling better?"

The young Ikari nodded, closing his eyes as he rested his head back against the railing behind him. "I thought my heart was going to explode in my chest."

"Your heart belongs to me. I would not allow it to do so." Rei stated in her normal soft whisper-like voice.

The blue-eyed boy nodded with a gentle smile on his lips. "Asuka-chan said… when you love someone, you forgive them. Easy as that. I guess… I didn't want to admit that she was right. But she is. I love you, Rei-chan. I forgive you."

The first child felt tears fall from her eyes again, but this time she felt sure it was because she was happy, because a smile was also on her lips. "Shinji-kun… I lo…" She paused for a few moments and squeezed her eyes shut before she spoke again. "Thank you. My heart sings for joy."

Shinji smiled and tenderly brushed his fingers against the girl's smooth cheek, staring into her eyes with adoration. "I'll never stop loving you, Rei-chan. Even if it took moving heaven and earth twice over to bring us to this moment, even if it meant dying so that we could have a future together… it was worth it, because my life is meaningless without you."

Rei smiled at her beloved. "Aren't you glad I fixed that?"

The third child burst into laughter and held the girl he cherished closely. "Yes… god, yes."

The red-eyed girl kissed the young Ikari's neck and whispered into his ear "Though I did remake the world twice over, I am not god. But if you wish to worship me, I am sure you can think of _some_ way to show me your devotion…"

The blue-eyed boy grinned and stood up, picking the girl up into his arms and carrying her back inside. Several hours later, Rei was cuddled into his side, letting a tired and satisfied "Mmm" sound escape her lips. "That was… more than acceptable." She remarked.

"Give me… a few minutes… to catch my breath… and I can see if I can… improve on that… even more…" Shinji gasped out.

The red-eyed girl smiled up at her beloved and kissed him. "If you are able to… perform again, you are obviously better at this than I am."

"I just needed a little… practice, is all. But I'm more than satisfied, I thought maybe you wanted more… ASUKA-CHAN!" The boy cried suddenly as he sat up.

Rei frowned slightly, puzzled by her lover's strange and sudden action. "Shinji-kun… I may not have minded being called god… more than once during that encounter, but being called Asuka-chan is more than my ego can bear."

The third child blinked as he stared at the girl in bewilderment, but understanding dawned on him several long moments later. "Oh! No… she woke up and I was going to go back there so she wasn't alone… when you showed up. And then all this… she must be so lonely."

The red-eyed girl sat up as well, joy lighting up her eyes. "She's awake? Allow me a few moments to… freshen up, and then find some clothes that were _not_ ripped off of my body… and let's go see her." She rushed off towards the wash room, ignoring the surprised looking Misato whom had just gotten home and was about to announce her presence when a nude blue-haired girl rushed from Shinji's bedroom to the bathroom.

Shinji blushed in embarrassment as he regarded the torn clothes on the floor. _'I guess I **was** a little over-eager. But damn… that was **hot**.'_ He casually strolled out of his room as well, figuring he should wash the smell of sex off of himself before going to the second child's hospital room.

"Wow, Shin-chan… looking good!" Major Katsuragi announced rather loudly.

"EEP!" Unit 01's pilot rushed into the wash closet and shut the door, feeling another panic attack coming on. He blinked as he watched Rei nonchalantly washing herself and a grin formed on his lips. _'I'm happy. I'm actually happy. The world is surely about to end…'_

* * *

Next chapter: Third Impact begins (again). 


	35. Rage Against the Dying of the Light

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: If you're curious about reading the deleted scenes from Chapter 34, they're on my website under the "Alternate Visions" section under Stories, if you hadn't already noticed them there.

Required Disclaimer: Disclaimers are like a box of chocolates… yum. This story is of course a fan-work. It is a simple homage to the wonderful work of Gainax Studio and Anno-sensei.

Chapter 35: Rage Against the Dying of the Light

Rei blushed slightly as she regarded the face of her lover. "You're giving me that look again, Shinji-kun." She informed him.

Shinji nodded. "I know. I love you, I can't help it." He responded, glancing forward as they came upon Asuka's hospital room. His smile dropped, however, when he saw that the room was empty. "What? They wouldn't have released her." He stated confidently, striding into the room to look into the bathroom in case she was in there. "She's not here!" He exclaimed in a panic.

The first child frowned at the news. "Perhaps she is having a test. We can inquire about her status at the reception desk." She stated calmly.

The blue eyed boy nodded quickly and started rushing down the hall towards the elevator. "Ok, let's go ask." He called out.

"Shinji-kun… wait a moment." The young Ayanami said, holding up a hand as her head turned towards the opposite direction of the hall as the boy had been hurrying down. "Let's check in this direction first."

"Huh? Oh… ah… ok." The third child scratched the back of his head in confusion as he followed his girlfriend further down the hall. He started to ask her why she looked so thoughtful, but her hand came up again, silencing his inquiry before he could utter a sound.

"There is no television in her room. There is, however, a recreation room." Rei informed him as they came upon the room in question.

The young Ikari stared in surprise at seeing the second child reclining comfortably on a leather couch, watching a television set. "How did you… never mind. Asuka-chan, you almost gave me a heart attack!" The boy exclaimed, moving into the reception room in view of the red-haired spitfire.

"I got bored and they said I could walk around as long as I didn't leave the hospital. Check this out." Asuka indicated the television screen as she sat up straight to make room on the couch for the other pilots. "They made a movie about us! Can you believe it?"

"Really?" Shinji sat down, staring at the screen in awe. A moment later the quiet blue-haired girl sat beside him. "Is it the same people from that show we saw?" He inquired, watching a computer generated mecha that strongly resembled his Unit 01 lumber around a city, likely meant to be Tokyo 3.

"It's by the same company, but the actors are all different. This was probably being filmed at the same time as the TV series. The Evas look better here, too." The German pilot replied and then a few moments later her eyes widened in surprise. "Holy shit, is that… ah… what's his name?!"

"Why is Unit 01 battling a gigantic… iguana?" Rei inquired, obviously not recognizing the creature in question.

"Oh my god, they're having me fight Gojira?! Are they insane?!" The third child cried. He glanced at his girlfriend and raised an eyebrow. "You really _have_ never watched television before we started dating." He teased.

"Gojira is kicking Unit 01's ass." Asuka stated, elbowing the boy in the ribs playfully. "But wait until you see the pilot. Assuming Unit 01 wins."

The young Ikari groaned and covered his eyes as the Unit 01 on the television screen was given the hotfoot treatment by the radioactive icon. "I am so glad that Aida-kun isn't here… if he saw this, he'd never let me live it down." He breathed a sigh of relief when the purple cybernetic mecha defeated Gojira, sending him retreating back into the ocean. "At least he won. And I don't have to get attacked by legions of Gojira fans claiming that I killed him."

"I do not believe that would have been a problem." The first child stated, tilting her head slightly to the side curiously as she watched the pilot now on the screen.

"Oh my god!" Shinji cried out, mouth hanging agape in horror and wonder.

"I know, right? Oh, I so need a camera right now." The red-haired beauty laughed out loud, clutching at her ribs.

"I'm a girl?!" The blue-eyed boy cried out in disbelief, staring at the girl on the screen.

"A hot girl, at that!" Asuka asserted, desperately trying to catch her breath as she fought a losing battle against giggling.

"She _is_ quite attractive." The red-eyed angel agreed, regarding the actress.

"I'd do her." The second child asserted, breaking into another fit of giggles.

The young Ikari blushed and glanced over at the girl. "I'd love to see that."

"Oh, I bet you would, pervert." The blue-eyed girl laughed as she stretched. "This is fun and all but I need to walk around for a little while… my ass is still a little sore from lying on it for all that time."

Shinji winced, realizing that was likely the reason the girl had been lying on her side instead of sitting up during the movie. "Do you have to stay inside the hospital or can you walk outside on the hospital grounds?" He inquired as he stood up and helped the girl up.

"They'll probably let me walk outside as long as we tell the duty nurse where I'll be." Asuka replied, blinking in surprise a moment later when the quiet first child moved up to support her other arm. "Damn, _two_ people helping me walk? I'm not an invalid."

"I simply wish to be close to you." Rei stated diplomatically.

The German girl smiled at her fellow pilots. "Then hold my _hands_, not my elbows, you two. That'll make my ego feel better, ja?"

After informing the staff of where they would be, the pilots walked outside. Asuka smiled as the sun hit her face and lifted it towards the sky. "Ah… that's what I need to be one hundred percent… a little sun." She commented. She glanced at the two at her sides and a devilish smirk appeared on her lips. "So… you two were gone a long time. I take it you're all made up and happy?"

The blush that colored the third child's cheeks was all the answer the red-haired beauty needed, but Rei spoke up. "Shinji-kun affirmed his affection and forgiveness for me by making love to me many times. It certainly made me happy."

"Oh, I bet it did." The blue-eyed girl stated with a giggle.

Shinji groaned and slapped his hand to his reddened face. While he loved that his girlfriend could be so honest, it was rather embarrassing at times when she shared that information with others. '_She could have at least said it a little more discretely.'_ He thought. "Ah… it's certainly beautiful out here."

"Ja… that it is." The second child agreed, for once choosing not to tease the boy further. "It feels good to have saved the world, you know?"

"Ah… well… that is…" The young Ikari scratched the back of his head nervously as guilt rose up in his heart. '_We didn't really save the world… it's still going to end.'_ He thought. He was trying to think of a way to tell the girl that wouldn't reveal classified information and get his lover in trouble, but he couldn't think of one.

"Hmm?" The red-haired beauty quirked an eyebrow up at the third child's strange response.

"Asuka-chan… I am sorry. I have not yet greeted you properly." Rei stated, distracting the other girl from her bafflement. She brushed her fingers over Asuka's cheek and smiled briefly before kissing her, lingering over her lips for over a minute while her boyfriend watched with wide eyes and a dry mouth. "Mmm." She murmured into the German girl's mouth.

After the kiss was over Asuka smiled brightly. "Wow… that… wow." The girl's cheeks were flushed as she shyly glanced down at her feet. '_It feels strange when it's not me instigating it… but wow… I could have kissed her all day. I hope none of those perverted doctors are watching us.'_

Rei turned her gaze towards the blue-eyed boy, but made no comment. She had told him that it was his own choice what affection he showed the second child, so she didn't suggest he greet her the same way. A touch of a frown formed on her lips when she realized something. '_Shinji-kun and I will not have time now for that date he wanted to take me on. If only we had more time. At least we made each other happy… it is enough.'_

Shinji stared down at his feet, unable to think of anything to say.

"Ok… break the bad news to me, already. Am I dying or something?" The second child asked as she became frustrated by the tense silence that had fallen over them all.

The boy's blue eyes widened in shock and he was dumbfounded as to how to respond to the inquiry. '_What am I supposed to say? We're all dying? And you'll… you'll… oh god. Enemies… we still have enemies?! No… that can't be right… the angels are defeated. Humans? Defeating the threat from without, are we faced with the lingering threat from within, now? I wish I could remember. Rei-chan may remember everything from the previous worlds, but I only get a headache and a sense of déjà vu…'_

"Oh shit, I'm dying?! What the fuck?! Did that silver-haired bastard give me brain cancer or something?!" Asuka demanded, her eyes widening in fear.

"You are not ill, Asuka-chan." Rei stated evenly.

The German girl narrowed her eyes suspiciously. She knew what it meant when the girl stated her response so carefully. '_She didn't say I wasn't dying, she said I wasn't ill. So if I'm not sick…'_ Her eyes widened in outrage. "That cold-hearted virgin-heart-devouring sourpuss grumpypants son of a whore is going to kill me?! What the fuck?! We served our purpose so our reward is a bullet in the brain?!"

Shinji blinked rapidly in confusion for a few moments but then he realized whom she was referring to. '_She means Father. Oh… just once I wish I could call him that to his face. Don't laugh… don't laugh… this is serious… don't laugh!'_ The boy took a deep breath to suppress the urge to express his amusement at the, likely apt, description of his bastard of a father. "No, I doubt even _he_ would stoop that low."

"He would, but he will not." The first child stated with certainty. '_He would have shot me in the head a few weeks ago if his gun had been loaded.'_ She recalled.

The red-haired spitfire shook her head in confusion. "So what am I missing then?" She frowned when she saw the third child nervously avoiding her gaze and even the quiet blue-haired girl was looking downwards. '_Fine then, a direct question.'_ She cleared her throat to gain the attention of the other two pilots, but fixed her gaze directly onto the red-eyed girl. "Rei-chan, am I going to die soon?"

'_Damn it. There is no way to answer that without either telling the truth or giving a vague half-truth which would essentially be a lie. I cannot bear to break her heart as I did Shinji-kun's.'_ Rei sighed. "It… is possible."

Shinji bit his lip nervously. He felt like he should say something, but he had no idea what to say now. He wondered if his girlfriend was about to reveal the same secrets she had shared with him.

"I see. Can you tell me how?" The blue-eyed girl inquired, leaning back against a tree as she felt as if she were deflated inside.

The first child considered that carefully, her eyes downcast and shifting about in thought. "Asuka-chan… do you trust me?" She inquired finally, turning her eyes up to meet those of the other girl.

"Yes." Asuka replied immediately. If she was surprised by her own complete trust in the soft-spoken red-eyed girl, she didn't show it.

Rei nodded, relieved by the response. "When the time is right, you will have to fight with all of your considerable skills and heart. I will give you the information you require to give you a chance of survival. But it will not be easy, even for you. I have faith in you, however. If it is possible to prevail, you shall do so."

The red-haired beauty nodded her head. It made sense… it explained the sense of dread that was hanging over her heart for the past few weeks. "What can you tell me now?"

The young Ayanami considered that carefully. There was only one bit of information that she could reveal at this time… perhaps the most important part. "I love you."

The girl's blue eyes widened in surprise as that statement sunk in. '_I… suspected she had true feelings for me… but… she loves me? Someone… someone finally loves me. Not for what I can do for them, or in any sense of obligation… but just because of who I am. Someone loves me. Oh god, I'm crying. Damn it all to hell!'_ Asuka sighed and glanced away, wiping the tears from her cheeks as casually as she could. "Thank you. That means… more to me than you will ever know."

Rei embraced the other girl and turned her gaze to the young Ikari, who still obviously had no idea what to say or do. "Shinji-kun, Asuka-chan no longer requires the care of this hospital. We are taking her home."

"Huh? Are you sure? The doctors wanted to…" Shinji froze when he saw the determination in his lover's crimson eyes. "Yes ma'am." He coughed nervously and they started to walk back to Misato's apartment in silence.

"My apartment is closer." The first child said suddenly, stopping as she looked at the street that led towards her own apartment. '_And it is closer to NERV headquarters.'_ She added silently.

"Oh, but your apartment is…" Shinji almost said '_Your apartment is a broken down dump.'_ But he bit his tongue to restrain himself. "Ah… well, what about clothes? Asuka-chan is in a hospital gown…"

"Then go retrieve my clothing, some of Asuka-chan's clothing, and some for yourself. Meanwhile, I will accompany Asuka-chan back to my apartment." Rei responded.

The third child shifted around nervously. "Ah… ok. Are you sure you'll be all right alone?"

"I'll protect your beloved, dummy. Go on, fetch us some clothes. And don't jerk off on my underwear, got it?!" Asuka teased.

Shinji blushed. '_Oh god… that's right… I'll have to get her some underwear too. That means…'_

"Pervert! Stop thinking about my underwear! Go!" The second child ordered, pointing in the general direction of Misato's apartment. She broke into laughter when the boy scuttled off. "He's probably going to have a heart attack while he's packing our clothes."

"Why?" Rei inquired as they made their way towards her apartment.

The red-haired girl smirked and shook her head. "I'm joking, Wonder Girl."

The first child frowned thoughtfully but she didn't see the humor behind the statement. "Oh." She responded.

Asuka nervously glanced over at the quiet girl a number of times as they made their way to her apartment, but she couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't sound lame. And the other girl, of course, remained silent. "Rei-chan… how do you know that something is going to try to kill me?" She blurted out.

'_What part of trust me did she not understand?!'_ Rei thought. She glanced over at the second child, considering remaining silent. "I have access to information that you do not." She finally responded honestly.

"Ach." The German girl grimaced in frustration. She had been hoping for a bit more than that. "Is that why you spend so much time at NERV even though your Eva is gone?"

The first child nodded. "That is part of why I must work at NERV, yes. Please do not question me on the matter further. I cannot reveal classified information to you at this time and it is not yet time to tell you of what to expect. But have faith in me, Asuka-chan… I will tell you what you need to know when the time is right."

"I know. I do. But… I'm just nervous, ok? And… scared. If you tell anyone I said that, I swear I'll…" Asuka started to say, flustered by her own admission of what she considered weakness.

The blue-haired beauty stopped immediately and grabbed the girl, planting a kiss on her lips. She felt the second child stiffen in surprise but a few moments later the other girl relaxed and kissed her back. Rei smirked after breaking the kiss in a way so that the other pilot couldn't see it and resumed walking. '_It works on her, as well.'_

'_Why did she kiss me so suddenly? What was I saying? Scheiße, I don't remember.'_ The German girl shook her head as they climbed the steps up to the first child's apartment. "Wonder Girl, how come they put you in this dump to live by yourself? Couldn't you have lived with someone? I mean, you could have been the one living with Misato-san… or hell, that frigid doctor bitch, or even that Ibuki chick."

Rei shrugged as she walked into her apartment, kicking her shoes off casually. "I do not remember."

The second child quirked an eyebrow up as she took her own shoes off and placed them into the shoe rack. "You really don't remember? You never asked?"

The red-eyed girl shook her head as she walked into the sleeping area and sat down on her bed. "I never thought about it. I lived in a similar room in NERV headquarters in my childhood, but some time between then and when my Eva was being completed, I was here. I do not remember moving. I do not remember much of my childhood. I know that I am a ward of Commander Ikari's, but we have never been… close. Our relationship is best described as…" She paused thoughtfully as she tried to determine the appropriate word. "…professional." She finally decided on.

"Großer Gott, Wonder Girl… no wonder you're so fucked up!" Asuka blurted out.

A touch of a frown formed on the first child's lips. "That is like… what is that phrase? Ein Esel schimpft den anderen Langohr, Asuka-chan." (It basically means the same thing as the English phrase 'The pot calling the kettle black'. It means ah… 'One donkey puts another down for having long ears')

The German girl chuckled and sat down next to the blue-haired beauty, reclining back with her hands supporting herself. "Ja, das ist schon wahr (Yes, that's true, of course). So, _my_ mother killed herself and wanted to take me with her and my father immediately got remarried and put the woman, who couldn't give half a shit about me, in charge of raising me. _Shinji-kun_ loses _his_ mom also and his bastard of a father sends him to some relatives who couldn't give half a shit about _him_, also. And you… you lost _your_ parents as well, ja? And the cold son of a whore that couldn't be bothered to take care of his own kid gets stuck with raising you, and he couldn't be bothered with _you_ either. We're definitely all made for one another, ja?"

Rei looked troubled as she considered how much pain they had all had to endure even before they were made to pilot the Evas. She had never even really thought about the crap they had gone through before the Angels started attacking. "Despite all that, we found love with one another." She responded, hoping it was enough.

The second child nodded and glanced over at the taciturn girl sitting beside her, feeling nervous all of the sudden, but she wasn't sure why. "Jawohl (exactly/quite so)." Her thoughts turned to troubling subjects, despite the hopeful statement the other girl had made, her brow creasing in thought as her eyes reflected the turmoil of her considerations.

The red-eyed girl looked over at the German girl, noticing the dark place her thoughts were going. '_No!'_ She thought. She placed a hand on the girl's thigh and leaned closer to her, immediately earning the other pilot's attention. "Asuka-chan…"

Asuka opened her mouth and a squeak was heard from her throat before she cleared it and tried again. "Ah… ja?"

Rei leaned in closer and kissed the second child, trailing her fingers through the girl's auburn tresses. She had grown tired of waiting for the girl to ask her to do this. '_I may enjoy being submissive, but I do not enjoy being frustrated as I wait for them to get the hint.'_ She thought to herself as she felt the blue-eyed girl sigh into her mouth. She gently lowered the girl down onto her back and cuddled in closely to her as her hand started wandering downwards without breaking the kiss.

The red-haired beauty pulled away a bit to break the kiss and hissed slightly as her breast was fondled. "Damn, Wonder Girl… what's gotten into you so suddenly?"

"I grew tired of waiting for you to ask me to make love to you." The blue-haired angel deadpanned, lowering her lips to kiss the other girl's neck.

Asuka's eyes widened when she heard the girl's plans. "Ah… I need to shower…"

"You showered earlier, I can smell the shampoo in your hair and the soap on your skin." Rei argued, nibbling at the base of the other girl's neck as her hand rubbed the flat belly underneath it.

"Rei-chan… Herrgottnochmal! (Ah… it means basically 'for crying out loud!' Or ah… Oh, for heaven's sake!)" The second child hissed, pulling away slightly from the other girl.

The red-eyed girl blinked several times as she paused, tilting her head slightly to the side in curiosity. This was definitely not how she envisioned the girl responding. "What is wrong?"

"I'm… scared, ok? I'm not sure I'm ready for this and you're here trying to fuck me so suddenly. You're freaking me out a little…" Asuka admitted, feeling a little angry at having to confess that.

"I… I thought you wanted me, as well. I am sorry for offending you." Rei pulled away from the girl and felt a tear trickle out of her eye. '_How could I have been so wrong? She does not wish to be one with me? She has given every indication up until now that that was the case. So why is she now denying me?'_ She wondered.

"I… do want you, Wonder Girl. It's just… this is my first time, remember? Shinji-kun didn't exactly already take that distinction." The second child stated a little more bitterly than she intended.

"And you want him and not me." The blue-haired beauty stated, sitting up and staring at her closet. '_And he doesn't want you… or at least he will not do that with you. Are you forcing yourself into an unloved position, Asuka-chan? Are you afraid of the love you so crave?'_

"No… you know I want you, too. I just… I don't know. Verdammt nochmal! (Damn it!) You just… it just didn't seem like you were doing it for the right reason." Asuka stated, sitting up and glancing away, feeling ashamed but unsure of why.

Rei's gaze snapped over to the other girl, surprised at that statement. "You think I tried to make love to you because I was afraid it was my last chance."

The blue-eyed girl stared down at her feet, feeling uncomfortable. "Well… yeah."

"I have faith in you, Asuka-chan. I admit I am concerned for your wellbeing, but I want to make love to you because I love you. I wish to show you how much by pleasuring you. I do not fear that it is my only chance. I simply… want to." The first child stated a little shyly, scuffling her toe against the cement floor.

"Well… then make love to me when this threat you're so worried about is over. Give me something to look forward to." Asuka suggested.

The young Ayanami frowned. "But… I want to make love to you _now_." She stated in a vulnerable tone. '_Am I being too pushy? What a turnaround this is…'_

The second child smirked and leaned over to look the other girl in the eye. "Wonder Girl… Are you actually horny? Weren't you just screwing Shinji-kun for hours, earlier?"

Rei considered that. She suspected, though, that part of the reason she felt this way was the frustrated feelings centered around the second child… both her own and the feelings of both Shinji and herself. She remembered picking up the emotions of the third child in a similar way when his S2 organ first started to activate and she wondered if it was her organ causing this empathy or if something had changed in the other girl. '_She does not have an S2 organ… could she have something similar? Is that how the commanders made her immune to the blue cells' affect on neurochemistry? Or did they simply dose her with small amounts until she had built up the immunity in the same manner immunization shots are administered? I wish I knew.'_ She sighed and shook her head. "My own needs are… satisfied for now. I simply wish to satisfy yours, as well. I know you have been frustrated. And I have wanted to tend to your needs… but I assumed Shinji-kun would feel more comfortable being the first to be with you."

"Well, it's not your fault that he's so clueless. He's loyal to you… I can't in good conscious fault him for that. And I think he's afraid that if he has sex with me, it'll simply be because he's wanted to screw me, and not because he loves me. I don't really understand that and it makes me feel bad, but I have to accept it. But you… I find myself wondering if you just want to fuck me because Shinji isn't, or if you really just want to because you _really_ want to." Asuka stated. She saw the offense in the other girl's eyes immediately. "Well, ok I did. I realize now that you want my body whether Shinji's doing it with me or not." She stated quickly to defuse the situation.

The first child nodded. "And what are your own feelings on this matter?" She inquired.

The German girl frowned thoughtfully as she considered how best to give voice to her thoughts. "I do find you attractive. I don't really know why… I don't really think of other girls that way. I would like to explore things further with you, but I don't know if we're ready for that. I also worry that you want me for the wrong reasons." She put her hands up to stop the other girl from jumping to defend herself before she was finished making her point. "Look… you've said it yourself. Half the time you don't understand your own feelings. You also have very little experience in social matters. If you can tell me without a shadow of a doubt that you're not confusing the love of a friend, or hell, even a sister, with the love for a lover, then we can go at it right now. But think about it carefully. Are you absolutely sure that you love me in a passionate lover-type way, or is it possible you just love me for who I am and think that sex is a part of any love relationship?"

Rei's brow became furrowed in confusion as she considered the second child's argument. "I do not understand. Love is love, is it not?"

"No, there are different aspects of love. You love family members, but not in the way you love your lover. I mean, you wouldn't bone your dad, right?" Asuka inquired with an expressive shrug.

"I do not have a father, so I would not know." The red-eyed girl responded, not following the other girl's point.

The red-haired girl slapped her hand to her face and groaned. "Ach du lieber Gott! (It's like ah… 'Oh my god' basically.) Ok… do you see Commander Grumpy-pants as a father figure?"

Rei frowned thoughtfully and considered that for a while, far longer than the other girl maintained her patience, as evidenced by the sighs and hisses of frustration. "I suppose that is a reasonable comparison."

The blue-eyed girl nodded, wondering why it took the girl so long to agree to the assessment. "Ok. Would you have sex with _him_?"

A look of horror crossed the first child's features.

"Ok then. That's my point, Wonder Girl. Now I don't know if what you feel for him is love, but if it is, it's not the same kind of love you feel for Shinji-kun. So assuming you do love the bastard like a father, it should be something you can relate to either way. You understand at least that the love for family is different than the love between lovers, ja?" Asuka inquired.

The blue-haired beauty nodded. "I can see that, yes."

The German girl sighed. "This would be much easier to explain if you had friends other than me. Ah… ok. I can only use myself as an example. Horaki is a really good friend of mine, you've seen that much I assume, ja? Ok… I love her, we're pals. But I don't think of her in a sexual way. I wouldn't want to have sex with her, you know? But I still love her." She pointed out, hoping the girl understood finally. '_At least, I guess I love her. She was there when I needed her, at any rate. I don't want to muddle her thinking with my own doubts on the subject, though.'_

Rei nodded. "And you are worried that I love you as a friend and have so little experience with matters of the heart that I think it is passionate love."

"Yes! You understand. So yes, _that_ is my worry. I don't want to do it for the wrong reasons… and mein Gott, I'm Shinji now." The second child realized in horror. '_Kill me now.'_

The red-eyed girl smirked slightly in amusement. "If you were Shinji-kun, we would not be having this discussion. I would have already given you at least one orgasm, if not two."

Asuka's eyes widened slightly, surprise and arousal battling in her psyche. "I… suppose. So what's the verdict then? Are you sure you love me as a lover, or am I just a good friend that you think is cute?"

"I want to pleasure you until you beg me to stop." The first child stated with absolute certainty.

The German girl stared at Rei, her mouth suddenly going dry. She opened her mouth to say something but the words caught in her throat. '_Whoa… did I misread that, or what?!'_ She coughed nervously and tried again. "I… ah… um… the uh… we…" '_Whoa, smooth, Second Child. Smooth! Gott im Himmel, I'm pathetic.'_

Rei nodded and leaned into the other girl again, kissing her. "I trust there will be no further arguments?" She inquired, slipping her hand up the other pilot's hospital gown and caressing her silky smooth thigh.

The second child shook her head, unable to formulate words. '_Mein Gott, her eyes seem to be burning… I can't look away. Is her hand about to…'_ "Großer Gott!" She gasped out, flopping down on her back as her thighs parted of their own volition.

The first child smiled, gently brushing her thumb over the dampened petals of the other girl's sex. "I seem to be getting called that a lot today." She remarked as he leaned down onto her side to kiss the girl deeply as her hand explored.

Asuka groaned softly, her eyes rolling back as she enjoyed the hesitant touches of the other girl. She growled softly as she tugged at the hospital gown adorning her body and finally got frustrated and tore it off, unwilling to break the kiss or interrupt the touches that were making her blood seem to boil. '_Shinji, I swear if you come in here and she stops, I will hurt you!'_ She thought.

Rei backed away slightly, a bit intimidated by the aggressive clothes-tearing, but a smile crossed her lips as she regarded the bare body now exposed to her. She pressed her lips to the girl's throat and kissed and licked her way down until she captured a nipple between her lips, suckling on it gently as one of her slender fingers slid inside the girl's moist depths to feel the staggering heat inside her body. "Mmm." She murmured.

"O Gott… Wonder Girl…" The red-haired beauty gasped out, her back arching as her hips pressed against the girl's questing hand. '_No, no… not already!'_ "AH! Scheiße!" She cried out, lights exploding behind her eyes as passion burned through her veins.

The young Ayanami smiled briefly before trailing her lips over to the other breast, her tongue brushing over the underside of her pert breast before it starting circling the girl's nipple. She added a second finger to the girl's over-heated core, ignoring the orgasmic tremors wracking the girl's body.

Asuka moaned loudly and squeezed the other girl's pert bottom, wishing she had the leverage to remove the girl's clothes so that she could at least feel bare skin against her. "Wonder Girl…"

Nodding in understanding, the first child lifted up slightly and used her free hand, with some assistance from the other girl, to pull off her top. A few moments later the German girl was unsnapping the jeans the girl had chosen to wear after her earlier shower. With a bit of tugging on both their parts, she was then in her underwear, a state she was only in for a few moments before the rest of her clothing was collided with her closet door before falling down to the floor. Rei smiled down at the red-haired girl as she pressed her now bare body against the other girl's as her fingers worked their way even deeper inside her. Her thumb also found a spot which seemed to make the girl respond even more.

The second child gasped in pleasure as she leaned up to fondle the other girl's breasts, finding the weight and softness of them to be pleasant in her hands. "You're driving me crazy, Wonder Girl." She gasped out as she nibbled on the girl's neck.

"Is that so? Perhaps you wish me to stop?" The blue-haired beauty inquired, smiling slightly as she teased the girl. She pulled her fingers out of the girl's depths and brushed them instead against the lips of the girl's sex.

Asuka smirked, knowing the girl wasn't serious. "If you stop, you won't find out how loud you can make me scream in pleasure."

"Perhaps that is so." The red-eyed girl intoned softly, circling her thumb gently against the girl's clitoris that she had found earlier.

"AAAH! Um Gottes willen! (For God's sake!)" The second child cried out as she reached another explosive climax.

Rei smiled softly as her thumb continued its slow circling of the girl's clitoris, sliding her fingers back into the girl's molten depths. "That was quite loud… am I correct in my assumption that you are enjoying this?"

The German girl hissed in pleasure as her hips moved subconsciously. She shook her head in amusement and tweaked the first child's nipple playfully. "You know I am, silly girl. Where the hell did you learn how to do all this, anyway?"

The first child smiled and wiggled her fingers inside the girl, earning another groan for her efforts. "I asked Ibuki-taii how one girl pleasures another in this manner. She was most helpful with my instruction." She replied casually.

Asuka's eyes widened in surprise. "You got it on with her, too?! Just so you could learn how to… FUCK!!!" She cried out as another orgasm flowed through her body like fire. "Damn it! Give me a minute to catch my fucking breath, Wonder Girl!" She gasped out as she flopped back against the dampened sheets.

Ayanami shook her head slightly as she pumped her fingers slowly in and out of the girl, leaning down to kiss her. "I believe I said I would stop when you told me to stop." She stated evenly before slipping her tongue into the redhead's mouth. She didn't bother correcting the girl on the fact that she had not slept with the young captain, as it wasn't pertinent information.

"Mmph." The second child grunted, rocking her hips despite herself as she became lost in the sensations coursing through her body. '_She's going to kill me… and I'm going to enjoy every damn second of it.'_ She thought as her eyes rolled back into her head and a low groan issued forth from her throat.

Rei brushed the fingers of her free hand through the girl's fiery tresses as the fingers of her other hand continued its slow and deliberate exploration of the German girl's depths.

"Wonder Girl… I'm going to exploOODE! GAAAH!" Asuka gasped out, stiffening underneath the other girl as any further attempts at communication became impossible.

The first child smiled down at the blue-eyed girl, stilling the movements of her fingers as she placed soft sweet kisses on the girl's neck.

"Rei-chan… I've… had… enough. Mein Gott…" The red-haired beauty gasped out as her body finally relaxed. She felt a tear trickle out of her eye so she quickly turned her head so it would get lost in her auburn hair. "Toll! (Wow!)" She gasped out, desperately trying to catch her breath.

"Indeed." Rei murmured, staring in awe at the flushed features of her fellow pilot. "Are you sure you have had enough? There are still some other things I could try…"

Asuka shook her head, laughing softly as drowsiness settled over her. "Oh no… not tonight you won't. If… you want me to… return the favor… then you might want to give me a few minutes. I think I'm numb."

The first child giggled softly and cuddled into the girl's side. "I am quite content, Asuka-chan. But thank you for the offer." She blinked in surprise and then looked at her fingers again. "I am sorry, Asuka-chan. I did not intend to injure you."

The girl cracked a blue eye open and quirked an eyebrow up. "Huh?" She followed the other girl's gaze and saw a bit of blood on her fingers. "Oh… no, silly girl. You popped my cherry."

Rei blinked.

"Uh… my hymen?" Asuka elaborated.

The blue-haired girl frowned slightly, understanding what happened now. "Oh. I am sorry, I did not even think about that possibility. I hope you are not angry with me."

The German girl chuckled and shook her head. "I barely felt it. It was a fair trade for the best sex of my life, Wonder Girl."

Rei nodded and stood up and walked into the bathroom to wash her hands before returning to sit beside the exhausted second child. "I am glad you enjoyed the experience. It was… agreeable to bring so much joy to your heart."

The red-haired beauty giggled and shook her head. "Agreeable? You really know how to make a girl feel special, Rei-chan." She quipped.

A smile appeared on the first child's lips. "I am glad." She stated, missing the sarcasm in the other girl's tone.

Asuka sighed and rolled over onto her side, staring at the apartment's door. "I wonder what's taking Shinji-kun so long? I half-expected him to come barging in here while we were going at it. I don't know whether he'd freak out on us, or jump our bones." She caught the perplexed expression on the quiet girl's face and restated her euphemism. "Joined in on the sex."

Before the red-eyed girl could respond, the door opened and a flushed looking Shinji walked in, carrying bags of clothing for the girls. "Ah… sorry it took me so long." He stated as he walked into the bedroom area and set the clothing down. He didn't mention it but he had been sitting down outside for the past half hour listening to the second child's gasps and groans. He hadn't wanted to walk in and embarrass them, but he had to admit the whole situation felt weird. He didn't feel jealous, exactly, nor was he really turned on much by it. Mostly he just felt like he would if he almost walked in on two people having a heart-to-heart talk, so he had waited patiently for them to finish before he walked in. '_Well… maybe I was turned on a little… but I don't really want to think about it right now.'_ He thought.

"What took you so long?" The German girl inquired, propping herself up on an elbow.

The third child blushed and glanced away, not wanting to stare at the girl while she was still naked. '_Ah… think. Think.'_ He coughed nervously. "Ah, the train. It was… late." He felt like slapping himself. '_Oh, that was brilliant, idiot.'_

"Oh, just admit you were jerking off on our panties, pervert. It's ok." Asuka teased.

'_**I'M** the pervert? You just screwed my girlfriend and you're still lying there naked.'_ He thought, feeling offended by the girl's ribbing. "I didn't jerk off on your underwear, Soryu." He spat out, staring at the closet as he tried to will the spitfire to get dressed so he could stop feeling embarrassed.

"I was just joking. Shinji-kun? What's wrong?" The second child asked, sitting up as she realized she had unintentionally hurt the boy's feelings.

"He is angry with me. Again." Rei stated with a sigh of defeat.

"What?! What the hell for?!" Asuka demanded. She looked at Rei, realizing for the first time that the girl was still naked and then that she was as well. "Aw shit. Shinji-kun… you said you were ok with this if it happened between us. It did. What's the problem?"

"She told you that she loved you." Shinji responded, his shoulders slumping as depression settled over his heart.

The German girl shook her head, failing to see the problem. "Ja? Is that a bad thing?"

"She hasn't even told _me_ that yet." The third child stated bitterly. "So I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little rejected right now, ok?"

The second child turned to look at the other girl in astonishment, unable to voice her surprise.

"It was time to tell Asuka-chan how I felt." Rei said evenly.

"But it isn't time to tell _me_ yet?!" The young Ikari demanded, turning to face his girlfriend as his face reddened in anger.

"It is not." The red-eyed girl responded.

"Fuck this, I'm leaving. I'm tired of this." Shinji spat out, stomping towards the door.

"Shinji-kun. If you leave, I will follow you." Rei stated.

"I can't stop you." The young Ikari replied as he walked out the door.

The blue-haired beauty sighed and followed after him silently.

Asuka dropped her face into her hands and groaned in exasperation. "Fucking hell. This is not what I wanted! I told them time and time again that I didn't want to come in between them! Why the hell didn't they listen to me?!" She asked, even though no one was listening.

The blue-eyed boy was halfway to the train station when he glanced behind himself and froze where he was, almost falling. "Rei-chan?! What the hell are you doing?!"

The first child blinked a few times, surprised by the reaction as well as the question. "I told you I would follow you if you left. I do not lie, Shinji-kun."

"You're naked! You followed after me like that?! What the hell for?!" Shinji demanded, looking around quickly, paranoid that a mass of people were about to suddenly form around them in the nearly abandoned city to stare at his beloved.

"So that you would listen to me. You _must_ trust me. It is not yet time for me to speak those words you wish to hear. When I am ready to say them, I will. Until then, you must have faith in me. You _know_ how I feel about you. You also know how I feel about Asuka-chan. You did not tell me to not share myself with her, so if you have a problem with it, tell me. I will abide by your wishes. But do not make her feel guilty and scared by throwing a tantrum over it in front of her. If you have a problem with what I do with her, speak to me in private about it. Do not take your frustrations with me out on her, it is _not_ fair." Rei stated firmly.

The third child blushed and glanced around again. "Ok. Can you please go back to your apartment now?"

"Only if you come with me." The young Ayamani replied seriously.

"Ok, ok! Let's go then!" Shinji cried, grabbing the girl's hand and running back to the girl's apartment as he flushed in embarrassment.

Rei smiled but remained silent as she was pulled along behind the boy.

They reached her apartment in record time, the boy dropping his hands to his knees as he gasped for breath. "Don't ever… do that… again!" He demanded as he tried not to hyperventilate. He looked up to see the tear-stained face of the second child as she sat on the other girl's bed. "Asuka-chan… I'm so sorry for yelling. I wasn't angry with you. I was just… frustrated. Will you forgive me?"

Asuka nearly said no, just to see what the boy was willing to do to gain her forgiveness, but she was afraid he'd break down into a frenzied apology-fest instead of doing something more affectionate so she simply nodded. "Of course. I told you before. I love you, so I forgive you. Idiot."

The blue-eyed boy laughed softly and walked into the bedroom area, glancing back to make sure his girlfriend was following him. He felt a little nervous because both girls were still rather naked. "I love you too, stupid." He said as gently as he could, hoping his smile was enough to stave off any violent reactions to his teasing.

The German girl chuckled. "About damn time. Get those clothes off and let's go to bed, ja?"

The third child hesitated for a few moments as he watched his lover walk past him and lie down behind the red-haired girl. '_Well… I guess we can all fit on the bed but…'_ He started to think.

Asuka frowned and pointed at the empty space next to her as she scooted back into the first child, lying down as well. "Don't make me say it again. Come here. Now."

Shinji swallowed nervously as he pulled his clothes off, feeling intimidated by the look the blue-eyed girl was giving him. '_Things would be so much easier if I just shut up and did as I was told.'_ He thought as he finished undressing and got into the bed beside the red-haired spitfire.

"Good night." Rei said, smiling briefly before closing her eyes and falling into slumber.

"Gute Nacht." The second child replied, rolling over onto her back and getting comfortable.

"Uh… good night." The young Ikari added, feeling confused. "Uh… Asuka-chan? Were you wanting me to… make love to you?"

Asuka turned her head to regard the boy in surprise. "You want to?" She inquired. '_Didn't he screw Rei-chan enough? He couldn't possibly still have any… ok, that's not his hand brushing against my leg.'_

The third child wasn't sure how to respond to that. His body was telling him '_Fuck yeah!'_ and his heart was telling him '_Hey, you did tell her you loved her. It's ok. You wouldn't just be using her for sex.'_ But his head was telling him '_What the hell are you asking me for? I always tell you to run away, stupid.'_ He cleared his throat nervously before responding. "Ah… if you ask me to, I will."

'_Whoa… did I hit the jackpot today, or something?'_ The second child wondered. She looked over at the red-eyed angel beside her and saw that she was sleeping soundly. '_Shit.'_ She grumbled internally. "I don't want to wake Rei-chan up. She looks so peaceful."

"Oh… ok." Shinji responded. '_I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. I'm so fucked up.'_

The blue-eyed girl smiled and gave the boy a tender kiss. "But thank you, it means a lot to me that you would offer."

"Oh… ah… no problem." The young Ikari replied.

"Next time, ok? I doubt you brought the condoms anyway." Asuka pointed out as her eyelids drifted shut.

'_Shit, she's right. Even if I don't have to worry about those stupid S2 cell things affecting her, I'd still have to worry about getting her pregnant. Damn it, can't I do anything right?!'_ He grumbled internally. "Yeah, you're right. Sweet dreams, Asuka-chan."

"Slwamrrl." The German girl muttered incoherently, slipping away into the land of dreams.

Shinji bit his tongue to refrain from laughing as he snuggled in closer to the girl and drifted off to sleep as well. '_Long day… long… really weird… day.'_

The next morning, Rei woke up and smiled at the two people she loved the most as they slept. Everything felt right with the world. She paused on that thought as it suddenly changed. She sat up quickly, feeling fear creep into her heart. '_It's time.'_ "Shinji-kun! Asuka-chan! Wake up! We have to get to headquarters, **NOW**!" She said quickly, jumping out of the bed and dressing quickly.

The other two pilots woke up and stared blearily at the first child as she scrambled for clothing. She hadn't even bothered with a bra since she was in such a rush. "What's wrong? Why are you freaking out, Rei-chan?" Shinji asked as he sat up, reaching for his own clothing.

"It's time!" The crimson-eyed angel responded, hurrying into the bathroom.

"Damn it!" The third child cursed, dressing as quickly as he could.

"Time for what?" Asuka inquired, though she dressed as well since she could tell they were frantic about something.

Rei hurried back out of the bathroom, straightening her clothes as she responded. "The attack. We are in possession of the two most advanced and destructive weapons on the planet, namely the Evas. Now that the angels have been defeated, the UN and the committee that directly oversees NERV operations have deemed these weapons to be unsafe in our hands. They will kill us all, without mercy or exception. Our only choice is to defend ourselves."

The second child groaned and slapped her forehead in exasperation. "Ach… wenn die Kacke am Dampfen ist… (Alas.. when the shit hits the fan…)" She muttered, watching as the blue-eyed boy rushed into the bathroom to take care of his own last minute business. "They must be insane. Even _one_ of the Evas would be enough to defend us from whatever they throw at us."

The blue-haired beauty shook her head. "The JSSDF and UN forces are not our concern. As you say, they are easily dealt with. However, they are also in possession of the Mass Production Eva series, which have been completed. They **_must_** be destroyed. Every last one of them."

"Oh, wonderful. Do we know how many of them there are? Three? …Four?" Asuka inquired.

"Nine." Rei replied.

"Nine. Nine?!" The second child repeated. She glared at Shinji as he came out of the bathroom. She remembered when he freaked out about her talking about fighting nine enemies not that long ago. "Hmph. Well, they're going against Asuka Langley Soryu. And you'll be backing me up, right Shinji-kun?"

The third child nodded. "Of course."

The blue-haired girl stopped the second child before she went to use the bathroom. "One last thing… they all have S2 engines. They will reactivate unless you destroy those, just like an angel would. You must destroy their S2 engines. Remember that."

"And yesterday was so great. Did it have to be followed by a shitty day like this?" Asuka grumbled before going into the bathroom as well. A few moments later, they were rushing out the door and to headquarters. "Stupid old men." The German girl mumbled as they rode the train to NERV.

* * *

Maya Ibuki sipped some coffee as she contemplated her terminals which read that everything was normal. "Is today going to be another boring day? Staying on first level alert like this is making me queasy." She commented, glancing over at Shigeru and Makoto.

"SEELE is bound to do something soon." Lt. Aoba responded, leaning back in his chair, wishing he could get away with putting his feet up.

"Yes, lieutenant, I am sure they will." The commanding voice of Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki said right above the man's head.

Shigeru straightened up immediately, feeling his heart racing. '_Holy crap, I didn't even hear him come in!'_ He thought as he tried to look busy. "Yes sir." He stated quickly, trying to cast a glare towards Captain Ibuki as she snickered at him without the professor noticing.

Suddenly an alert sounded and everyone was moving at once. "We are under attack!" A voice reported over the intercom.

"Status report?" Fuyutsuki asked, after giving out some orders.

"Data upload from external terminals. They're trying to hack into the MAGI!" Lt. Aoba reported.

"Hmph, just as we thought. Captain?" The former professor turned to watch the captain tapping away at keys.

A moment later she pulled a disk out of her pocket and inserted it into one of the drive bays. "Initiating counter-measures." She paused for a few moments and then entered in a command. "Uploading virus. Hah! Take that!" She grinned and turned her head and immediately became professional again when she realized the deputy commander was looking at her. "The external communications are being terminated. Lt. Aoba?"

The man checked the updated readouts and nodded. "Confirmed. Five MAGI were working together but the virus is now shutting them down. The firewall is in place to prevent future attempts. The MAGI are safe." Shigeru responded.

"External communications have been cut off for the next 62 hours, but even then the virus we prepared will keep the other MAGI systems down for longer than that. Several weeks, I'd estimate." Maya added, a triumphant smile forming on her lips. '_Damn I'm good.'_

Kōzō nodded and straightened up, breathing a sigh of relief for the moment. "SEELE won't let it rest there. They'll launch an all out attack now since they won't be able to just walk in the front door."

Misato rushed in, turning her phone off from which she had been briefed by Lt. Hyuga on her way to the command center. "The attack on the MAGI is already dealt with?"

"Yes. Our countermeasures were very effective." Lt. Aoba informed her with a nod to Maya.

A few minutes later a new flood of signals were coming in. "Special forces are invading our defense perimeter! They're attacking!" Lt. Hyuga reported.

"All personnel go to Level One battle stations." Commander Ikari ordered from the observation level.

'_Geez, when did he get up there?!'_ Maya wondered, choking back her surprise. "Battle stations? But they're humans… not angels! We can't kill them!" She mumbled apprehensively.

"I wish they felt the same way." Makoto mumbled back.

"Hostile forces have infiltrated the base!" Shigeru reported.

"What's the status of the pilots?" Major Katsuragi demanded, praying that they weren't in any danger. '_God I hope they're not still screwing back at my apartment…'_

"Pilots Ikari and Soryu are suited up and ready to board their entry plugs already." Captain Ibuki reported, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Good, have them get ready and insert them into their Evas. Have Shinji stand by in Unit 01, and launch Asuka! Place her in the GeoFront. Where's Rei?" Misato asked, glancing back at Shigeru.

"Unable to locate her. The pilot of Unit 00 is missing!" Lt. Aoba replied.

"Damn it, if they find her, they'll kill her." Misato hissed in frustration. "Find her, now!"

"Launching Unit 02." Lt. Hyuga stated.

"Good. At least Shinji and Asuka are safe." The major sighed. She didn't care for the idea of the quiet red-eyed girl being vulnerable, but she couldn't worry about that now.

"Fuyutsuki-sensei, handle the rest of this for me." Gendo stated as he stood up.

"Yes commander. Give my regards to Yui-kun." Kōzō replied. He glanced back as Commander Ikari left. '_I wish there were another way, old friend.'_ He thought.

"Enemy forces are over-running the base!" Lt. Aoba cried.

"Seal off levels 1 through 3! Order a full retreat!" Major Katsuragi ordered. "Release Bakelite through all passages up through section 803!" The reports came in of the Bakelite release, making the major sigh in relief. "That should buy us some time."

A few minutes later there was an explosion down on one of the lower decks and some soldiers burst through and opened fire. "Shit! Get down!" The major ordered, pulling out her sidearm as the others readied their own weapons. They ducked down under cover, grimacing as bullets ricocheted off the bulkheads.

They waited in tense silence as they heard the NERV security personnel fighting with the Special Forces below. "Damn, they're going all out, aren't they?" Makoto commented with a scowl on his lips.

"Yeah, I just hope they don't start using BC weapons." Shigeru commented.

"Yeah… that or N2 mines." Lt. Hyuga added.

A moment later, N2 mines detonated, exposing the GeoFront. Lt. Aoba glared over at the other man. "You just had to say something, didn't you?"

"Yeah, me and my big mouth." Makoto grumbled.

* * *

"Rei… I knew I'd find you here." Gendo stated, approaching the first child in the former Dummy Plug room. After she turned to look at him, he spoke again. "It's time. We're going to Lilith."

* * *

Asuka grimaced as enemy fire hit her Eva. "They spotted me. Activating AT field." She stated calmly. She stared down at the soldiers in disgust. "Hmph. Die Schweine. (Pigs)" She muttered. "Do I have a green light to counter-attack?"

"Affirmative, Pilot Soryu. Use any and all means necessary to defend yourself." Misato replied over the communicator. "Asuka-chan? Kick their asses."

"Roger that." The second child grinned, rushing Unit 02 forward while pushing out with her AT field, crushing the tanks at her feet as if they were nothing. "You're fighting Asuka the Great, ihr Scheißkerle! (you shitheads!)" She cried, slapping away attack fighters and throwing them into other units. "You think you're fighting some scared little brat?!"

She ran into the lake and tore through the attack carrier there and hurled a large chunk of it into the artillery units stationed on the road that were vainly firing at her. "Diese hirnlosen Trottel! (Brainless morons!)" She laughed as she demolished everything in her path, even shrugging off the missiles they hit her with. "You'll have to do a lot better than that!" She cried defiantly. A moment later, they blasted off the umbilical cable supplying Unit 02 with power. "Scheiße! No matter, you'll all be dead in under a minute anyway!" She announced, staying true to her word. "Shinji-kun, it looks like you get to stay safe and sound down there."

"Uh… that's a good thing, Asuka-chan… because Bakalite fell on my Eva. I'm kind of stuck." The third child responded nervously. '_Shit… how am I going to get extracted? Wait… she hasn't defeated the…'_

The German pilot looked up apprehensively as she saw nine white shapes flying down towards her. "Ach du Scheiße! (Basically 'bloody hell!') Incoming Evas, dead ahead!"

The third child's eyes widened in fear. '_Not again!'_ He swore internally as he vainly tried to get his Eva to move. "Damn it! Get this crap off me!" He cried out in frustration.

The red-haired spitfire ran towards the closest MP Eva as soon as it touched ground, knowing she was on a tight time table. "Nine Evas in three and a half minutes, ja? That's 20 seconds each with time to spare. Das ist ja das reinste Kinderspiel. (That's mere child's play.)" She asserted with a confident smile, slamming Unit 02's fist through the chest of the first MP Eva before it had even finished pulling its wings in. She grimaced in concentration as her hand found the S2 engine in its chest cavity and crushed it, quickly flinging the creature into the next closest one to slow it down. "Eat that!"

She started running towards the next one, pulling her prog-knife out. "Aaaaah!!!" She cried as she sliced its arm off, stumbling a bit as it lost its balance and crashed into her. "Scheiße!" She spat out, rolling on the ground. She got up as quickly as she could and attacked it again, but before she could stab into its chest, one of the other MP Evas was approaching with an oversized and ungainly looking weapon. "Fuck, they're persistant! Shinji-kun, get your ass out here, god damn it!"

"I can't! I'm stuck!" Shinji cried, watching a video feed of the girl's battle with trepidation.

"Useless boy." Asuka spat out, grabbing of the bladed weapons for herself to block the other Eva's attacks. "What brainchild designed this stupid weapon?!" She cried, fighting for her balance more than anything else with it, managing to cut the leg out from under the creature as she fell on her ass. "Fuck me!" She yelled, barely avoiding getting her head sliced in half by another one attacking.

"They're swarming me like vultures!" The German girl growled, backing up nervously as several of the Evas approached her, seeming to grin at her with their vaguely fish-like faces. "It must have been the Japanese that came up with the design of these fuckers… fish-obsessed freaks." She hissed. "**DIE!**" She launched an all-out assault on the closest MP Eva with the bladed weapon, chopping into its head and turning towards the next one. "No time to finish them off until I thin them out a bit." She muttered, glancing at her battery power remaining and swearing. "I'm running out of time!"

"Asuka, behind you!" Misato yelled over the comm. screen.

"Pig-fucker!" The second child shouted, barely ducking to avoid a decapitation. "Shinji! I swear if you don't find a way out of that mess you're in and get out here to help me, I'm going to kill you myself!" She pulled her prog-knife out again and threw it at one of the MP Evas, nailing it directly in the core. "Whoa, it worked!" She gasped before snapping out of her amazement to put some distance between herself and the detonating Eva unit.

"Not that it's likely to do my any good, but there wouldn't happen to be another umbilical cable lying around somewhere close by, would there?" Asuka inquired, slicing the legs out from another one of the MP Evas as the weapon was deflected by yet another one. "This is getting ridiculous!"

"Asuka! Retreat, you're time is almost up!" Major Katsuragi ordered, growing worried as she saw the battery power counting down.

The German girl growled, eyeing the rest of the MP Evas that surrounded her, a battle strategy forming in her mind. "You little fucks think you can best me?! You don't know who you're dealing with! I'm Asuka Langley Soryu! Ich werde nicht erbärmlich verrecken! (I will not die!)" She screamed, jumping onto the closest Eva and crushing its skull. She grabbed its weapon and hurled it at another Eva, slicing it in half. She reached up instinctively for her prog-knife and swore loudly when she remembered that she had already lost it. "Mother fucking, fuck fuckers!" She screamed in outrage, scrambling towards the closest fallen weapon as two MP Evas grabbed at her.

"Not in your wildest dreams, Arschlöcher! (assholes!)" The second child screamed, turning over and punching into the chest armor of one of them. She grimaced in pain as she felt the armor in her Eva's hand cracked and shred, but she had bought herself an opening and so she leapt backwards and pulled up the oversized blade. She rushed forward as quickly as she could and sliced down the remaining Evas as she gasped for breath. She looked at her battery readout and swore when she saw she only had fourteen seconds left. She quickly stabbed two of the units through their cores and looked around for the next closest one, but she knew she wouldn't make it. "Son of a whore." She hissed in frustration.

Her eyes widened in surprise as she spun around, sensing an impending impact. Her hand shot up to block the oversized blade with her AT field, where it seemed to hover for a moment before shifting its shape into that of a replication of the Lance of Longinus. Her eyes widened to their full aperture as she beheld the weapon tearing through her AT field and approaching her head. "Scheiiiiiiiiiße!" Asuka cried out, which turned into a howl of pain when the Lance tore through her Eva's head just as she lost power completely. "**AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!** Fucking fuck… O Gott!!!" She screamed in agony, clutching at her eye as it felt like it had split in two, which given the neural connection still in place, was very possible.

"**ASUKA!!!**" Shinji screamed in horror, frantically working the hand controls as he willed Unit 01 to do something. The Evas eyes lit up and the arms lifted out of the Bakalite, shattering it as wings of energy shot out of its back. Without even taking a moment to be surprised, he took to the air with the single-minded determination to save his friend's life. "**ASUKA!** I'm coming! Please hold on! Please be ok!" He cried.

Inside her entry plug, Asuka reached up towards the five remaining MP Evas that were circling over her head, each carrying an artificial Lance of Longinus. "Kill you… fucking… kill you… I'll… kill you…" She hissed, feeling her Eva starting to come to life, despite its lack of power.

"Oh god, no! Unit 02… is berserking! Asuka!" Maya cried, looking up at the readouts in horror.

"No! Asuka! Stop! Just stop! Shinji will be there soon!" Misato screamed, feeling tears trickle out of her eyes as she watched in horror.

"Kill you… kill you all… can't stop… Asuka… the… gr**AHHHHH!**" Asuka screamed in pain as multiple Lances impaled her Eva.

"**ASUKA!!!!****NO!!!!!**" Shinji screamed as he hurtled towards the remaining MP Evas as they swooped down like vultures towards the fallen Eva Unit 02.

_To be contined…_

* * *

Geez… it's really hard to write when you have tears streaming out of your eyes because you're getting so emotional about what's happening in the scene… sigh. Next chapter: Third Impact, part 2. 


	36. Until the End of the World

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: It's been a long crazy ride… and we're almost done with it. I hope you've enjoyed it thus far… it isn't quite over yet though. Muahahahah!!!

Required Disclaimer: Disclaimers are like a box of chocolates… yum. This story is of course a fan-work. It is a simple homage to the wonderful work of Gainax Studio and Anno-sensei.

Chapter 36: Until the End of the World

Gendo Ikari and Rei Ayanami stood before the crucified image of the masked Lilith. The commander looked down at the girl who would bring about the culmination of his plans, a hint of a smile upon his lips as he felt his reunion with his late wife Yui upon him. "I have already joined with Adam. The only way I will ever see my Yui again is through the forbidden fusion of Adam and Lilith. Your AT field won't hold its shape for much longer… let us begin, Rei."

The commander gave the girl a slight smile before he continued. "Release your AT field, the barrier of your mind. Make our imperfect souls whole again. Discard this unnecessary physical shape. Merge all souls into one. And then… take me to Yui's side." Gendo reached out with the hand that Adam was implanted into as the first child's eyes closed. He pressed his hand into her breast to pass it through her chest and then down into her S2 organ. A moment later, however, his eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

Rei's eyes reopened and she stared up at the commander.

"Why haven't you dropped your AT field?!" Commander Ikari demanded, attempting to press his hand past the barrier of her flesh again.

"I am sorry, commander. But I will not merge with you." The young Ayanami stated dispassionately.

"You agreed to this! We must merge Adam and Lilith together! How dare you defy me?!" Gendo growled, pushing his hand against the girl's stomach as hard as he could, but it did not pass her skin.

"It would not matter if I allowed your hand inside me or not, commander. Adam is dead. What you have in your hand is an empty shell." Rei touched her hand to it and the fetal form of Adam blackened and decayed, falling away from the commander's hand a few moments later in an LCL-like sludge. "I will not give you the throne of God."

Commander Ikari stared down at the red-eyed angel with shock-widened eyes, clutching his raw and bleeding right hand. "You've doomed us all. Including Shinji." He accused.

The first child gave the man a sad smile as she leaned up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. "Adam yet lives. In _him_. You know this because you placed him there. However, I do love you, Ikari-san. I will reunite you with Yui-san, if that is your greatest desire."

Gendo watched the girl start to walk away. Something about all this was wrong. "How do you know you are doing the right thing, Rei?"

The blue-haired beauty paused and turned her head enough to see the man she was leaving behind. "The first time… I did as you asked. I took you to the throne of God. Third Impact proceeded just as you planned. But it was not enough. Humanity rejected it. They chose death over happiness because regrets held them back. The second time… I betrayed you. I chose to bring Shinji to the throne of God instead and Third Impact proceeded as SEELE had planned. However, Shinji's regrets held him back and humanity once again chose death over happiness. I will not make the same mistakes I made those times."

The commander narrowed his eyes as he clutched his wounded hand to his side, allowing the revelation of the previous two attempts to sink in. '_That's why she seemed to know more about what was going to happen than we did.'_ He reaized. "What will you do, then?"

Rei turned back towards the elevator leading up to Central Dogma and replied, "I will not give humanity a choice in the matter this time. God can keep his throne. All I want is a Second Genesis."

Gendo plopped down on the ground, grimacing as the bleeding refused to cease. "Rei… you'll really take me to Yui-chan?"

"Sayonara, Ikari-san." The first child stated a moment before the elevator closed behind her.

The commander sighed and lay down, staring up at the form of Lilith, which was decomposing into sludge before his eyes. "Sayonara… Rei-chan." He stated to himself, a moment before the whole room exploded from the release of Lilith's energy.

Soon after, the newly redressed Rei stepped into the command center, where the fighting had seemed to suddenly stop for an unknown reason. She gave the former professor a courteous nod as she walked up beside him.

"So what will it be? Plan A or Plan B?" Fuyutsuki inquired.

The first child watched the monitors for a few moments before she replied. "Plan A. Plan B is no longer… viable."

The deputy commander smiled and placed a hand on her slender shoulder in a gesture of affection. "Be happy, that is my last and only request."

Rei's eyes narrowed slightly in confusion as she turned to look up at the man. "Are you sure? I am sure that Yui-san would not mind…"

"Rei-chan… the only reason I ever agreed to any of this was for your happiness. It is enough. I regret nothing." The professor stated firmly.

The young Ayanami nodded and smiled up at the man. "Thank you… father."

Professor Fuyutsuki stared down at the girl in surprise for a few moments before a smile appeared to match hers. "That was my regret last time… wasn't it?"

Rei looked back at the monitors for a few moments before replying. "Does it matter?"

"No… no it doesn't." The man responded.

* * *

Unit 01 tore into the first of the remaining MP Evas, ripping its arms off and using its own limbs to beat upon the injured Eva enough to knock it down to the ground. The purple behemoth then swooped down to the ground to stand over the impaled Unit 02 to prevent the creatures from inflicting any more damage on it. "Asuka?! Asuka, can you hear me?" Shinji demanded, glancing down at the red Eva for a moment before turning his attention back towards the circling enemies. "**ANSWER ME, GOD DAMN IT!**" He screamed desperately. 

"Shinji, we can't get any readings from inside Eva Unit 02. Even if she's still alive, she can't answer you. Focus on those Evas! Defeat them and we can help Asuka!" Misato yelled into the communicator.

The third child's eyes narrowed, confused as to why the creatures hadn't attacked yet. They seemed as if they were waiting for something, but he wasn't sure what it was. "Damn it… Damn it! **ASUKA!** Please… please be all right." He choked out as he sobbed.

"Shinji-kun, defeat the Evas! You have to!" The major reminded him as she prayed that he wasn't too distraught to see reason.

"Everything I touch turns to shit. Maybe… it's better this way. Maybe I should just stop fighting…" The young Ikari stated, staring down at the impaled body of Unit 02. "I'm no good. I can't do this by myself. I'm just a stupid little boy. Asuka… wake up! Tell me what to do!"

"Damn it, Shinji! Snap out of it and… HEY!" Misato scowled as the communicator was pulled out of her hand and she stared in surprise at the person whom had grabbed it.

"Shinji-kun. Fight the Evas. You _must_ destroy them all." A soft voice stated, replacing the angrier voice of the major.

Shinji snapped out of his self-loathing inside the Eva. "Rei-chan?"

"Kill them all, Shinji-kun. Pay them back for what they did to Asuka-chan." Rei responded and then handed the communications microphone back to the major before the woman got too pissed off.

The blue-eyed boy turned his gaze back up to the MP Evas, a growl issuing forth seemingly from the depths of his soul. Unit 01 howled in challenge as it took to the air upon its wings of energy, pulling out its prog-knife as it reached the first enemy Eva. They collided in midair and then lightning-fast slashes with the prog-knife scored numerous cuts on the fish-faced Eva as the others swooped in towards him.

Unit 01 grabbed onto the slashed up MP Eva and used it as a weapon to bash it into one of the others as it attacked before the first child flew away from the creatures for a moment after his prog-knife got slapped away from his Eva's hands. He swooped around behind one of the creatures and landed on its back, grabbing its white wings and tearing them off as he used its back for leverage. The creature plummeted to the ground a moment before another of the MP Evas crashed into him from behind. "Ah!" He cried out as it pushed him all the way down to the ground where they slammed into the surface of the GeoFront, creating a crater in the ground.

Shinji cried out in pain and felt even more when he felt the creature clawing at his side. He threw his elbow back and dislodged it long enough to regain his footing and then he grabbed onto the creature and tore its throat out. "You son of a bitch! You stupid, ugly OOF!" He cried out in surprise as another of the Evas swooped into him, knocking him back as it bashed Unit 01 in the head several times. "Nng! Damn it! Get off!" He grumbled, trying to knock the persistent creature away. His eyes widened in horror when he saw two of the other Evas approaching the fallen Unit 02, seeming to grin maliciously down at it. "No!" He screamed, finally managing to kick his attacker off. He scrambled up to his feet and ran after the two that were bearing down on the red Eva.

One of the MP Evas turned to face him as another pried one of the Lances out. He crashed into the one that was facing him and yanked its jaws apart, sending out a shower of blood-like LCL and he immediately attacked the one holding the replica Lance. It jabbed the weapon forward and tore into the chest area of Unit 01, narrowly missing the spinal area where Shinji's entry plug was located. The third child grimaced in pain but punched the creature in the face to knock it down. Then he pulled the Lance from his chest and immediately used it to stab into the head of the fallen Eva before it could get up.

The young Ikari saw the armless Eva he had first attacked approaching, as well as the one he had dislodged to get over to Unit 02. "Damn it… they just won't stop!" He cried.

"Asuka was going after their S2 engines, Shinji! That seems to be the only way to get rid of them for good." Misato informed the clueless boy over the communicator.

Shinji nodded and pulled the Lance out of the head of the Eva and backed away from the two approaching ones, lowering Unit 01 into a defensive crouch. "Understood." He responded, watching them carefully. His eyes widened in fear, however, when another one of them was approaching the red Eva, likely intent on grabbing one of the Lances and possibly to further maim the fallen Unit 02. "No!" He screamed, throwing the Lance directly at the creature, which seemed to fly forward with a life of its own straight into the chest of the MP Eva, imbedding itself into its core. It blew up just as the armless Eva jumped on Unit 01 and started stomping on it, using its wings for leverage.

The purple behemoth grabbed the ankle of the attacking MP Eva and slammed it into the other approaching one, a moment later ramming its fist through the both of them. Shinji screamed both in pain and rage as a shower of LCL sprayed out of the wounds and the creatures wiggled futilely underneath him. "Die!!!" The blue-eyed boy screamed, using his other hand to bash the closest Eva in the head repeatedly. When the struggling of the creatures died down, he pulled his fist out and slammed it through their chests again, lower this time and through both of their cores simultaneously. A moment later they exploded and Unit 01 walked with purpose through the flames towards the last two remaining Evas, its eyes glowing with demonic intensity.

The two creatures seemed to look at each other for a moment, despite their lack of eyes, and then they attacked him simultaneously. Unit 01 grabbed onto one of the creatures around the neck and pulled and twisted as he kicked away the other one which was wingless from his earlier attack. Inside the Eva, Shinji screamed in fury as the MP Eva in his arms frantically struggled, but it was unable to pull away. With one last mighty yank the head of the bone-white creature was ripped off, a spray of LCL flying up to coat Unit 01, making it look even more evil than before. After kicking away the other Eva again, the purple demon-like Eva reached through the neck stump of the recently decapitated creature, ramming his fist through its body and grabbing the core and crushing it. After he pulled his fist out and threw the creature aside, he noticed the plug he had grabbed on the way out, as he had been curious to see who this bastard was that was piloting the monstrosity. His eyes widened as he saw the name of Kaoru on the plug after a swipe of his thumb cleared away the LCL enough to read the markings. "Ka… Kaoru?" He gasped out. Shinji growled and crushed the plug in his Eva's hands as he faced the last remaining Eva.

The Eva tried to take to the air in an attempt to retrieve one of the Lances, but it crashed back to the ground, seeming to not remember it was wingless until it was too late. It tried running towards the fallen red Eva instead, but Unit 01 was faster, catching up to the creature and tackling it to the ground. "I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!" Shinji screamed in wrath as he pummeled the MP Eva, slamming his fists into the creature until the armor around Unit 01's hands started shredding away, leaving the biological hands exposed. He tore open the chest of the Eva and yanked out its core and then he rammed it down the creature's mouth before crushing it. He ran towards Unit 02 as the last MP Eva exploded behind him.

"Eject Asuka's plug!" Shinji cried as he reached the red-armored giant.

"We can't! Unit 02 is completely dead! No signals can get through." Misato informed him.

The boy sighed and pulled out the Lance of Longinus replicas and turned the red Eva over so he could tear the armor plates off the Eva's back. He tore into the flesh underneath until he exposed the spine of the behemoth, quickly locating the plug inside and pulled it out. "It looks damaged." Shinji whispered in fear as he set it down as gently as he could before ejecting his plug.

The third child ran to the damaged plug unit and tore the hatch open, becoming even more worried when barely any LCL fluid flowed out of the plug. He peered inside and his heart went up into his throat as he saw the slumped over and bloody image of the second child. "**ASUKA!** **NOOOO!!!!!"** He screamed, clutching at his temples as he sobbed.

"Ow. Shut up, stupid. My head hurts enough already without you yelling like that." Asuka hissed out, turning her gaze up a bit as she winced in pain.

"Asuka-chan! You're alive!" Shinji cried out, staring up at the girl. He saw blood oozing out of the girl's eye like tears as well as from the corners of her mouth and she was clutching at her side where most of the Lances had embedded into Unit 02, but she was indeed alive.

"Of course I'm alive. What are you, stupid? You think I'd let myself die because of them? You should know better, idiot. I could use a bath, though. And maybe another coma…" The second child groaned out a moment before her eyes closed and she became still.

"I'm glad you're ok, Asuka-chan. I'd never forgive myself if you were… Asuka-chan?" The blue-eyed boy stared at the girl, her lack of motion disturbing him. "Asuka-chan? Asuka!" He cried out, climbing forward to shake the girl.

"ARGH! Scheiße! What are you, stupid?! Are you a sadist, shaking an injured girl like that?!" Asuka cried out as she coughed up blood.

"Sorry! I thought… damn it, where is the ambulance?" The third child wondered, poking his head out of the entry plug and looking around. The reason they were without assistance became apparent as he saw military units that hadn't attacked Unit 02 earlier starting to approach. "Aw shit, we have to get back to my Eva! Those military guys are coming back."

The red-haired girl grimaced and tried to sit up but she slumped back and waved the boy away. "Go on without me then. Kick their asses."

Shinji frowned and moved back over to her and lifted her up, despite the cry of pain that issued forth from her mouth. "I'm not leaving you here to die, damn it. We're taking care of those guys and going back to headquarters so you can get some medical treatment."

"Stubborn… sadistic… I think my eye just fell out." Asuka complained as she was dragged towards Shinji's entry plug.

The dark-haired boy glanced over and then looked back towards his plug. "It's still there. Don't worry, we'll be safe in a minute. I just hope they don't get close enough to shoot before we get in my Eva." A moment later, he cursed himself for commenting as gunshots chewed up the dirt near his feet. He started to panic until Unit 01 lowered its arm to block him and the second child from the weapons fire as he dragged the girl towards his plug. He stared up into its evil looking eyes for a moment before continuing the slow trek to his entry plug and helped the girl inside. A moment later he closed the hatch behind himself and retook the seat and controls.

They felt the plug lifted back up and a few moments later it was sliding back into Eva Unit 01 and the surroundings lit up on the screens. "Whew. For once I'm glad that my Eva sometimes moves on its own." He muttered.

"Shinji! Thank God you're back! Headquarters is completely cut off. You'll have to get back here on your own. Is Asuka…" Misato's voice started asking.

"She's here with me. A little banged up but she'll live." Shinji informed the major quickly. He glared down at the soldiers and swept out the hand of Unit 01, reaching out with his AT field to sweep the tanks and soldiers away as if they were toys. "Get out of my way, you stupid bastards!"

"Try not to rock us too much, will you? I think my guts came loose." Asuka complained, glaring up at the boy.

"Just try not to interfere with my synchronization, ok?" The third child yelled back at the girl, hoping to give her something to concentrate on other than her injuries.

"Ach, let me at the controls then if it's such a problem for you, Shin-chan." The German girl retorted, spitting to clear her mouth of blood.

The young Ikari grinned and stomped on the tanks and artillery cannons on his way back to NERV headquarters, trying not to think about the lives he was probably snuffing out. Right now he had more important things to worry about. They were trying to kill him, so he focused on that. He wasn't so much worried they'd be able to succeed, since even if his AT field dropped for some reason, he still had enough armor plating left to keep them safe, but he was worried they'd still be around to follow him into the headquarters and kill them when they exited the safety of the Eva. "Mmph… I wish they'd stop shooting the exposed arms. That hurts." He complained.

"Tell me about it, I feel it too, Third. Hurry up and bash their brains in!" Asuka demanded.

The blue-eyed boy nodded, sweeping more soldiers and weapons aside with his AT field, wishing he had one of the massive guns to shoot back at them. Soon enough, though, the soldiers were either dead, unconscious, in units too damaged to do anything or retreating. So he took that opportunity to take back to the air on his Eva's energy wings, flying back to NERV headquarters and reentering it through one of the remaining working extraction tubes.

After the entry plug was expelled, Shinji helped Asuka out of it and to the elevator, praying it still worked. They entered it and were surprised to see Misato and Rei waiting for them. "I'll take care of Asuka-chan." Misato offered, taking a look at the girl. "Looks worse than it is, I'd say." She informed them as she wiped blood off the girl's face.

"Feels like I got stabbed by a bunch of lances." The second child bit out as she leaned back against the elevator as it went back up to the command level.

Rei frowned and reached forward to brush her fingers over the girl's cheek. "You survived." She stated simply.

Asuka blinked a few times and stared down at her abdomen with a perplexed look on her face. "True. Strange… I feel a lot better. Still hurts, but not so much."

A corner of the first child's mouth lifted up in a half smile as she turned her attention to her beloved. "You both did well."

Shinji nodded, but he was confused as well. '_Does this mean we averted Third Impact? But Rei-chan said it was necessary. Why did she want us to stop those other Evas?'_ He wondered.

After they exited the elevator to the command level, Asuka plopped down on the nearest empty seat, ignoring Lt. Aoba when he grumbled about his chair getting stolen. "Make yourself useful and get me some water or something, will you?" She flashed the long-haired lieutenant a smile as she slumped back into the chair, clutching at her still sore stomach as her other hand absently rubbed blood out of her left eye.

Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki nodded at Rei when she looked up at him.

The first child nodded back and turned to look at Shinji, a smile forming on her lips. "Shinji-kun… may I speak to you in private for a few moments?"

The third child nodded, scratching the back of his head nervously as he followed the girl up to the observation deck where they wouldn't be overheard. "What is it, Rei-chan?" The boy asked a little apprehensively.

Rei glanced down towards her feet for a few moments before turning her head up to look at the young Ikari. "I am ready."

Shinji swallowed nervously, intimidated by the intense look in the girl's eyes. "Ready for what?" He asked with a little fear in his voice.

The red-eyed angel gave the boy a gentle smile. "I love you, Shinji-kun. More than words can ever express. You wanted to hear the words, so hear them directly from my heart. I love you."

Tears dripped unhindered from the boy's blue eyes as he reached out to hug the blue-haired beauty and held her close. "Rei-chan… thank you. I love you more than life itself!" He cried, sobbing in joy from hearing the words he wanted most.

Rei hugged the boy back and felt his AT field weakening as he opened the barrier of his mind without realizing it. The girl smiled down at the people standing up to 'covertly' watch them. "You will all be happy… I promise." Rei informed them, moments before letting her own AT field drop so that she became one with Shinji Ikari, completely. The S2 organ of Lilith inside Ayanami and the S2 organ of Adam inside Ikari became united.

* * *

Warning klaxons sounded in the command center. Lt. Aoba leaned over his console since Asuka was still in his chair and tapped at his keyboard. "Oh my god! Two blue patterns detected in headquarters! No wait… one blue pattern! There's an angel inside the complex!" 

"Don't worry about it." Professor Fuyutsuki told him, watching the two pilots embracing up on the observation deck. He saw the happy smile on the girl's lips as her body seemed to be fusing with Shinji's.

"Wait! There's an Anti-AT field expanding… oh god!" Shigeru yelled, turning around as his eyes widened in horror, realizing where it was coming from.

"It's Third Impact. This is the way it should be." Maya stated calmly, despite her nervous shivering as she watched the two lovers becoming one.

"What the hell are you guys drinking, and can I get some?" Asuka inquired, shaking her head in confusion.

"Anti-AT field has exceeded critical limits! Why aren't we doing anything?!" Lt. Hyuga demanded in a panic.

"What the hell is happening?!" Misato asked, looking between the deputy commander and Captain Ibuki as they shared a smile.

"If this continues, individual entities will be unable to maintain their separate forms!" Lt. Aoba cried.

The second child sat up straighter, now becoming concerned. "What?! What are you talking about?! What's happening?"

"The Chamber of Guf is open." Fuyutsuki informed them, nodding at the Egg of Lilith that appeared on their display screens. "The door to both the beginning and the end of the world is open at last."

"What have you done?! How are you doing this?!" Misato demanded, drawing her firearm and pointing it at the former professor.

"You think I'm causing this to happen, Katsuragi-kun? Don't worry, you will soon know peace at last." Kōzō shook his head in amusement as he gave the woman a kind smile.

"Misato-san… just put the gun down. This is a _good_ thing." Maya stated, nodding at the woman and smiling.

Misato lowered the gun and frowned. "But… we're all about to die… aren't we?"

"No. We will not die. Not exactly, anyway." Fuyutsuki stated with confidence, looking from the Egg of Lilith on the display screen to the merging pilots.

Makoto shivered as he looked up to see Rei floating down towards him, but a moment later she was Misato, reaching out to him with love in her eyes. He smiled and reached towards her and turned into LCL fluid.

Shigeru cried out in fear and curled into a ball, shaking his head as Rei leaned down towards him. Maya appeared before him and smiled at him. "I've seen you looking at me… don't you want to be one with me?" She asked, reaching her hand out to the man.

"No! Not this way!" Lt. Aoba screamed out as he shuddered in fright.

Multiple Reis appeared and shook their heads sadly. "You're forcing me to do this the hard way. I am sorry." She informed him as they all placed their hands on him, forcing their way past his AT field to turn him into LCL.

Maya shivered as she began to worry over whether they had done the right thing. She blinked in surprise as Ritsuko Akagi appeared before her. "Senpai?"

"I need you, Maya-chan." The doctor informed her with a loving smile.

"No!" The captain pulled away from the woman, shaking her head quickly. "I can't… not with you. Not after what you did."

Rei appeared behind her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Is this better? You can be one with me, Maya-chan…"

Maya looked into the girl's crimson eyes and smiled. "I could have… fallen head over heels in love with you… if only you were a little older." The captain informed her, embracing her closely and dissolving into LCL.

Professor Fuyutsuki smiled up at Yui as she floated down from the ceiling, reaching out to him. "Rei-chan… thank you. You are too kind" He stated, bursting into LCL as Yui embraced him.

The major dropped the gun she had still been clutching in her hand as Kaji appeared in front of her and reached his hand out. "Misa-chan… I love you."

Misato felt tears falling from her eyes as she saw the man she loved. "Kaji… you remember me? Take me away from here…" She embraced the man, letting out an ecstatic cry as her physical form was shed in a shower of LCL.

Asuka shook her head, freaking out as she watched everyone turning into LCL fluid. "O Gott… O Gott… what's happening?!"

"Asuka-chan. Do not be afraid." Rei stated, kneeling down to look the girl in the eye.

The second child noticed both Shinji and Rei standing before her, with love in their eyes. "What… is going on?" She asked them.

"Do you trust me?" Ayanami inquired.

"And do you trust me?" Shinji asked as well.

The German Girl looked between the two and then finally nodded. "Ja… I trust you."

They both reached their hands out as Rei stated "Then take our hands. We love you, Asuka-chan."

Asuka swallowed nervously and reached out to take their hands. "I love you, too." She told the both of them just before dissolving into LCL fluid.

All around the world, similar events played out as billions of people dropped the barriers of their hearts and turned into LCL fluid and their souls floated up into the Egg of Lilith.

* * *

Shinji glanced around and was surprised to find himself in Misato's apartment for a moment, but then it just felt right. Things were a little confusing but he noticed Asuka sitting at the kitchen table, staring down at her hands. "Asuka-chan… are you all right?" 

"You said you loved me. You don't love me though, do you?" The second child asked in a sad tone.

"No, you're wrong. I do love you. Really!" The blue eyed boy insisted, leaning over to rest a hand on the girl's shoulder as he tried to lean down enough to look into the girl's royal blue eyes.

"Liar. You don't love me. You pity me." The German girl spat out bitterly.

Shinji shook his head in confusion. "Why are you saying all this? Why don't you believe me? I love you, damn it!"

The red-haired girl stood up and advanced towards the boy who backed away from her apprehensively. "Tell me the truth, for once in your life. Do you really love me? Do you love me the same way you love Rei? Be honest!"

The third child looked away as his cheeks reddened in embarrassment. "No. But… I _do_ love you."

"You disgust me." Asuka sneered down at the cringing boy. "You say you don't love me and then say you do. That's not an answer."

The young Ikari shook his head. "But I _do_ love you! I really do! Don't you understand, Asuka-chan? I think of you… as a sist-"

"**GOD DAMN YOU!**" The second child screamed, viciously shoving the boy to the ground. "How dare you?! I gave you my heart and you made me into your little fucking sister?! How could you do that to me?! You knew I loved you the same way I love Rei! How can you say you love me like a sister when you look at my body with lust?!"

"I can't help but find you attractive, Asuka-chan. But… that doesn't change how I feel. I'm sorry… I wanted to love you as I love Rei-chan… but I can't change my heart. I will always look out for you… I'll always take care of you. I'll give you what you want if you insist on it… but I just… can't love you passionately. I can only love you… the way I love you. Forgive me." Shinji stated, standing up and looking at the girl hopefully.

The German girl stared back at him for a few moments before responding. "No."

"Please, Asuka-chan, don't push me away. I can make you happy, if you just give me the chance. I have no problem with what is between you and Rei-chan… just don't expect me to change how I feel!" The blue-eyed boy pleaded.

Asuka continued staring at him. "No."

The third child shoved the table over. "God damn it, if you really loved me, you'd love me for the way I am, not how you _want_ me to be! Don't try to change me! I would _never_ try to change _you_!" The boy yelled as he tossed the chairs away and approached the girl. "Please… don't push me away!"

The red-haired beauty frowned thoughtfully. She looked over the boy's shoulder and saw Rei silently watching them from the next room. Finally, she made her choice. "Fine. But don't expect me to call you big brother, because I'm not changing how I feel about _you_, either."

"Thank you, Asuka-chan! Thank you!" Shinji cried, clutching the girl in a desperate hug as he sobbed.

"Hmph. Idiot." Asuka sighed and hugged the boy back as she watched the first child in the distance. The world seemed to melt away.

* * *

Misato sat in a café and watched Kaji as he talked to a man who operated a hot air balloon in an attempt to have him take them up at a discount price. "Hmph… cheapskate." She muttered, but really she was blissful. Everything just felt… right. 

"You seem happy, Katsuragi-san." Rei commented from the side of the woman.

The purple-haired beauty looked down at the girl, only partially surprised to see her there. What was more surprising was that the girl was actually talking to her. "I am. I'm with the man I love… everything is right with the world."

The first child nodded and sat down next to the woman, watching Kaji and the hot air balloonist argue. Or more precisely, Kaji was trying to be charming and persuasive and the other man was yelling and being stubborn. "I wanted to thank you. Though you never treated me very well, you were never purposely unkind to me. More importantly, you saved Shinji-kun's life twice at the cost of your own. This is a debt of gratitude that I owe you."

Misato scratched her head and looked down at the girl, confusion evident on her face. "Huh?"

The red-eyed angel shook her head. "It is not important now. I simply wanted to thank you, whether you remember saving his life or not is unimportant. But, because I owe you a boon, I offer you this. Unlike most others who choose the dream, you and Kaji-san can be together in a _shared_ dream. I believe this is what will make you happiest."

The major fixed a look on the girl beside her, a part of her understood what she was being offered while the rest of her was clueless. So she decided to trust her instincts. "Thank you. Yes… this is what I want."

Rei nodded and stood up. "Have a happy life, Katsuragi-san. My debt to you is thus paid." She walked away, disappearing a few moments later.

Misato shook her head in confusion for a moment but quickly forgot the girl had even been there. She turned her attention back to Kaji and smiled as she saw him giving her a 'thumbs up' signal. Today was going to be just perfect.

* * *

Maya Ibuki was riding a train on the way to a big anime convention, a happy smile on her face. She had heard that there would be a demo for Dragon Quest X there, which made her giddy with excitement. Not only that, but she knew for sure that several of her favorite manga artists would be in attendance as well. All that, plus nonstop screenings of anime shows made her feel like she was riding the train to heaven. 

Maya glanced around and spotted Rei watching her curiously. "Oh, come on Ayanami-chan… don't tell me you aren't the _least_ bit excited?"

"Perhaps." The first child responded neutrally. She was quiet for a while before she spoke up again. "Ibu… Maya-san. You seem happy here. Is this what you really want?"

The young captain raised an eyebrow inquisitively as she regarded the blue-haired beauty. "What do you mean?"

Rei looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. "Your situation is a bit… complicated. Shinji-kun shared his essence with you… which gives you the option of returning to earth if you choose to. However, he does not love you and you might not be happy returning to that situation." She paused for a few moments as she gained the older woman's complete attention. "However, despite not sharing _myself_ with you in that manner, I do love you. But Asuka-chan recently pointed out to me the different aspects of love. I find myself caring for you as… a mother, perhaps? Or an older sister?"

"Let's go with older sister. My ego can't take being thought of as your mother. I feel old enough around you as it is." Maya teased.

"Indeed. Now on the matter of the problem: you may return to earth if you choose to, where you will have the opportunity to be a mother to Shinji-kun's children, if you both so choose. Life may not always be happy or easy, but it will be life, not a dream. We will care for one another… and perhaps you shall find love with one of us. As long as there is life, there is the possibility for love." The first child paused for a few moments to allow the woman to fully contemplate the first choice before she moved on to the next. "Or, you can stay here. A world without pain or fear or loneliness, where there will always be things you can look forward to and be excited about. I have no control over what happens to you here after this point… so you may never find love here. These are your choices."

The cute computer geek frowned thoughtfully and gazed out the window, seeing the convention site in the distance. With a squint she could see people dressed up for costume play while others were wearing shirts with various anime or manga characters on them, anxiously awaiting entrance. She turned back to the girl, noting how patient she looked. "So… I can stay here and be happy… but I will probably never fall in love. Or I can return to earth where I might be very unhappy, but there is at least a chance of falling in love, right?" After receiving a nod from the girl, she thought about it. '_Happiness versus the chance at love… that is my choice.'_ The captain sighed. "I have to decide this now, don't I? And I won't be able to change my mind afterwards."

"Once I ferry your soul through the Egg of Lilith to your destination, I cannot come back for you. If you stay on Earth, it will be as it always has been… the only way out will be death. So yes… you must make this decision now, before I carry out my task." Rei responded.

"Hmm. You already know what my decision will be, don't you?" Captain Ibuki inquired, staring off at the convention the train was approaching.

"Yes." The first child responded with a nod.

"Good. Go with that then." Maya decided.

Rei turned to look over at the convention, an amused smile forming on her lips when she saw a girl wearing an outfit that looked very much like a plug suit with a short blue wig on. "Yes, Maya-san." She replied finally.

* * *

Shinji looked around again and found himself in a sky trolley as it made its slow trek up towards the top of a mountain. He turned to look at the girl beside him and a smile appeared on his mouth as he saw his girlfriend wearing a lovely fancy looking dress and a lacy black choker. "Wow… Rei-chan… you look beautiful. I mean… not that you don't normally… but wow." 

Rei turned her head to smile at the young Ikari and held his hand. "We were never able to find the time for that date you wished to take me on. This is not disappointing, I hope?"

The third child shook his head, gazing down at the trees as they receded below them. "No, this is great. Wow, look! Sakura trees!" He pointed down at said trees, grinning with joy.

The crimson-eyed angel leaned over to look down at the trees with vibrant-looking cherry blossom leaves. "They are lovely." She remarked.

"Not as lovely as you are, Rei-chan." The blue-eyed boy stated, hoping it wasn't too sappy for his beloved.

Rei smiled at the boy and sat back down beside him, looping her arm in his and leaning her head against his shoulder. "I am happy. You make me happy, Shinji-kun."

The young Ikari brushed his fingers gently through the girl's silky blue hair and kissed her forehead before resting his own head against the top of hers. "I hope I always do, Rei-chan."

The first child brushed her fingers idly over the boy's arm as she enjoyed the quiet affectionate moment with the boy. "Shinji-kun… I hope you are not angry with how long I waited to tell you that I loved you. I… knew that when I did, the barrier of your heart would open fully to me. The other Evas had to be destroyed before that happened, or I would have no control over what happened afterwards. I would be… a puppet to the whims of SEELE. I refuse to be a doll."

Shinji shook his head. "No… I'm not mad. I'm just glad you had a good reason, because I was really starting to worry that I was misreading your affections for me."

The blue-haired beauty watched as they approached the mountain top. "Have you any regrets, Shinji-kun?"

The third child frowned thoughtfully as he stroked the girl's hair. "Well… there are things I wish I had done differently. But… my actions led me here. Asuka-chan is happy and you're happy, so that fills my heart with joy. So regrets? No, I regret nothing. Before… my only worth was in piloting the Eva. And even that didn't make me special. But then it changed… in your eyes I _am_ worthy. And _that_ makes me special. Nothing could ever make me regret _anything_ that led me to falling in love with you."

Rei nodded and sat up straight and turned to look at the boy silently for a few moments before she nodded. "I am glad."

The young Ikari blinked a few times, baffled by what he was seeing. "Rei-chan… is it me or did your eyes change color?"

The girl laughed softly and held her hand out. "Do not be afraid, Shinji-kun. Take my hand. It is time to leave this life behind."

Shinji nodded, a part of him understanding what was going on. "I love you, Rei-chan." He said as he took her hand and kissed her gently. A moment later, he had dissolved into LCL.

"I love you, Shinji-kun." Rei whispered as the world melted away.

* * *

Shinji opened his eyes as he found himself lying in a grassy green field. He sat up slowly and looked around, seeing Asuka and Rei sitting up as well. "What… happened?" He asked, looking around uncertainly. 

"Humanity has rejoined with God. We are all just outside of the Egg of Lilith. Can you not feel them?" Rei inquired.

The third child closed his eyes and then nodded, feeling the hearts and minds of billions of people. He felt their fears and doubts, as well as their hopes and dreams and their love and hatred. It was all a bit overwhelming so he opened his eyes and shook his head to clear it. "Yes. This is… weird."

"I don't like it. These people are creeping me out!" Asuka stated, shivering in revulsion as she opened her eyes up. She looked over at the young Ikari and raised an eyebrow up. "Like a sister, huh?"

The dark-haired boy smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "I guess that wasn't a dream." He replied, to which the girl rolled her eyes.

"We have things to discuss and decide upon." The blue-haired girl stated, resting back on her hands as she looked at her fellow pilots.

"Like what? Who gets to puke first?" The German girl asked.

Rei smiled and shook her head. "Where we go from here. We have several choices. We can live in a world where there are no boundaries between people… where everyone is as one. There will be no beginning or end of any one person… we will all be continuations of each other. There will be no sorrow, no pain and no fear… only acceptance. No one will ever be alone."

"That doesn't sound so bad." The third child stated.

"The hell it doesn't. I'd rather die than be one with everyone else. I'm Asuka Langley Soryu, I've fought all my life to be my own person. You think I want to give that up just so I don't run the risk of being alone? What are our other options?" The second child demanded, waving off that choice with a scowl of disdain.

Rei looked at Shinji and saw the doubt in his eyes. "If it helps… you each rejected that world last time."

The blue-eyed boy nodded. "Ok, I'm sure I had a good reason. Like Asuka-chan said… what's our next option?"

The red-eyed girl nodded, accepting their rejection of the world with no boundaries. "Our next choice is a world of dreams. Idealized versions of reality… where one need not feel pain or loneliness unless they really want to. Everyone will be connected, to some extent… but in that world will exist the versions of people that are in their hearts. The Rei and Asuka of Shinji-kun's mind will be in his world, while the Rei and Shinji of Asuka's mind will live in hers… and the versions of you both in my mind will exist in my world."

Shinji considered the girl's words as he felt his own fears and doubts tugging at his heart. "We won't really be together? Just… it'll seem that way? Is that what you're saying?"

Ayanami nodded. "If you wish for a world without pain, you will receive it. But it will not be me there with you… only the me that exists in your heart."

Asuka snorted. "Screw that. I had that with Shinji when I was in my coma. He was there, giving me love, but I woke up because I knew it was only a dream. I don't want a dream, I want the real thing. I want to be with the real Shinji and the real Rei, not some idealized dream versions."

The third child nodded. "I agree. I want _you_, Rei-chan. Not a dream of you."

Rei nodded in acceptance. "I am not surprised. The first time we tried Third Impact, it was like that. And you both eventually rejected that state as well."

"Right.Next choice?" The red-haired girl inquired impatiently.

"I can return you to the real world, where you'll live out the remainder of your days as individuals." The first child stated. "It won't be easy… there will be no one else. They will all only have the choice of being in the world without boundaries or the world of their dreams. Whatever makes them happiest."

"I like that one. I can't give up who I am and I _won't_ accept a dream. Anything is better than that." Asuka stated confidently.

Shinji's eyes narrowed as he considered the phrasing of the girl's statement. "It does sound like the best option. So if that is our choice, we'll stay on Earth… but everyone else will move on?" He inquired to clarify. _'That must be why Rei was so concerned about children… if we're the only ones left… humanity will only exist as they choose to after Third Impact… and when we die, if we have no children, no one will be left on Earth.'_

"Yes… they will have the true forms of humanity, so there is no reason for them to come back. They would come back as they were before, a dead end of evolution. However, twice you both expressed the desire to return to corporeal and individual form. So I gave you a way to evolve. It is what I knew you would choose. You are happy with this decision then?" The crimson-eyed angel inquired. After receiving nods from them both, she smiled. "Then lie back down and close your eyes. I will return you to Earth and bring the new worlds to the rest of humanity."

The second child smiled and lay back down, resting her head on her hands behind her head as her eyes closed. "It could have been worse." She commented as she disappeared from the minds of the other two children.

Shinji turned his eyes back to his beloved and smiled at her. "I love you, Rei-chan." He reclined back in a similar way to how Asuka had and stared up at the Egg of Lilith floating over their heads, watching the souls of humanity merging with it above.

"I love you as well, Shinji-kun." The first child replied, watching her beloved as his eyes closed.

After the boy's eyes closed a thought came to his mind, a wish in his heart. He smiled at it, even though he knew it was impossible. A few moments later, he disappeared.

Rei turned her attention back up to the Egg and floated up to it. "Make your choices." She stated into each of their minds. She closed her eyes for a few moments and then she nodded. "Goodbye." A few moments later, both she and the Egg disappeared from the sky as she guided them to each individual's chosen destination.

* * *

The end. Thanks for reading! (runs away) (Comes back a minute later) What, you want more? Well it would certainly be in the spirit of Evangelion if I left the story there, now wouldn't it? But ok, then the epilogue will be coming soon. Teehee Final chapter: The epilogue, of course. Find out the final fate of the Children. Hopefully Shinji won't strangle Asuka the moment he wakes up this time, huh? Hmm… or will Asuka strangle him instead? haha 


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